Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Your smile can be compared with flowers;

Your voice can be compared with a cuckoo;

Your innocence can be compared with a baby;

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But in foolishness, you have no comparison!Related

Confession! [Read it]


A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
“You will understand,” he said, “the seal of the confessional, can never be broken. However, I got my first impressions of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I can only hint vaguely about this, but when I came here twenty-five years ago I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had stolen a television set, and when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. Further, he told me he had embezzled money from his place of business and had an affair with his boss’s wife. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that, and I had, indeed come to, a fine parish full of understanding and loving people.”
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk.
“I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in this parish,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.”Related

Proudly woman [Read it]


Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him `Father`."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him `Your Grace`."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says `Your Eminence`."
The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him `Your Holiness`."
The Catholic woman proudly said, "I have a daughter, slim, tall," fresh breast," waist and big hips.
When she walks into a room, everybody says, "Oh My God."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-12 12:02:05

18127 Views




To be successful, the first thing to do is fall in love with your work.?

~ Sister Mary LaurettaRelated

CEO of Audi while justifying its high cost:

“We have 12 airbags,
safety controls,
safety censors,
safety parking assistance, safe…”

Gujrati:
” U don’t worry about safety. We have khodiyar Ma and Ganpati bapa on the dashboard,
hanuman ji on rear view mirror,
Nimbu Mirch on bumper and
Maata ji ni Lal Chundadi around steering..

Tu khali bhaav ochho kar “
????????????????????????Related

Mama;Ade u hv not been reading ur books since u started school
Ade;Mama,our teacher told us dat all wk n no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Mama;But u have not been reading @ all.
Ade;mama don't u get it,he said all work n no play makes jack a dull boy,literally it means no work n all play will make jack a brilliant boy.
Mama;Owk my son dat is gud of u,I hav always known dat u will make us proud


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-11 14:27:18

881 Views



Nigeria mothers [Read it]


My nigeria mum was shouting on me for 30minutes and then ends it wit this word; please leave me i dont want to start shouting. Is yours like that too?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-11 13:11:58

419 Views



apkos d warrior [Read it]


Apkoz;gudday sir
Sargent:hw ar u apkoz
Apkoz:am fn tnk u sir..
Sargent:get ready 2 experience a war 2marow
Apkoz;War!!!!!...I don die
Sergent:u b mumu..e neva start u don die
..D Next [email protected] war front
Apkoz:sir ma mama call me 4 village abeg I don go
Sargent::come back here ..n obey d last order
Apkoz:dy der..u go die dy obey last open
Apkoz rain away....lolzz


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-04 10:51:06

672 Views




PACK YOUR THINGS AND...

My wife and I were having a serious quarrel when I said to her..."pack your things and ....."At that point, her phone rang, so I had to stop for her to receive the call. It was her dad. The phone was on speaker soa I could hear what he was saying. After the usual pleasantries between father and daughter, he said:"my daughter, I have transferred N6,000,000 into your account, give your husband N4,000,000 out of it, and you can have the remaining balance." Am sending a tear rubber jeep to you and your husband for family use. After the good-byes, the call ended, and she turned to me immediately "you said I should pack my things and do what........ ?""
I SAID, PACK YOUR THINGS AND GIVE THEM TO ME TO WASH.". I will iron them when light comes back.

Please don't smile alone, put smile on someone's face


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-27 00:36:55

257 Views




when I dey small they say make I no play
when I be teenager they say make I no dey follow girls
I write weac. school runs na money things
neco the same
jamb ' no pass
I no come go school" see mumu
I rent house landlord problem
make I shake person EBOLA
make I drink garri lassa fever
travel by air . air crash
land nuko goslow
go north boko harangue
south nuko minitant
hmm na waything nigeria wan turn self



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-05 20:54:19

210 Views




Jude: Loveth;how are you?
Loveth: why do you hate me that much?
Jude: this is not the right time for that
Loveth: when is the right time?when i am dead?Jude;if you don't love me just let me go and save me the pains
Jude: you expect me to love you or let you go?
Loveth: yes;i need one out of the two
Jude: i didn't come here to battle words with you;maybe i made a mistake of asking about your welfare. just listen carefully;the reason,i came is to tell you;should in case;your mom asked what happen?tell her you slip from the staircase and fell
Loveth: i am not saying that rubbish;i am telling her everything because i am leaving you;i will take care of my baby without you
Jude: then be ready to loose him
Loveth: will you keep him out of this;i am not leaving you because of him;i am tired of all this
Jude: oh!you are not leaving me because of him;then i will take his breath and let you leave(he picked his phone to make a call)
Loveth: Jude;please;don't call anyone;i beg you;i am not going anywhere;i am stay with you
Jude: good girl(he keep his phone)go on and tell me you love me
Loveth: (she take a deep breath)i love you(tears fall her eyes)where is my mom
Jude: i don't know and make sure you don't share a single tears in front of her
Loveth: i will
Jude: good(curtain)

Luke: Joan;you are still sleeping?
Joan: i am just so weak
Luke: why?are you sick
Joan: i don't know,maybe is because of the pregnancy
Luke: oh!sorry;i will just go to the hospital
Joan: can you please make me something to eat before leaving
Luke: i am getting late and you are not at the hospital as well. i will just call mom to come prepare meal for you because i am sure she wont go to the office today
Joan: i don't want hers
Luke: alright fine(he walked into the kitchen and toast bread and juice for her)Joan; you can have this
Joan: i don't eat that i hate it(she hit the juice and it pour on him)
Luke: Joan;what is wrong with you?you smirch my cloths?
Joan: i don't want that
Luke: is that why you intentionally pour it on me
Joan: i did not tell you to get me pregnant;did i?(enter Muriel)
Luke: no;you did not and didn't tell you to get pregnant for me also
Muriel: Luke;will you stop
Luke: why not tell her to stop nagging me?
Joan: just leave him to treat me like a trash because if i were Loveth;he would had not treat me like this
Luke: yes because she will not nag me like this(Muriel slapped him)mom;you slapped me
Muriel: is because you are stupid;someone is in pain and there you are running you loud mouth
Luke: fine;gang up on me(he walked away)
Muriel: don't mine him;he is just a spoil brat
Joan: mom;let me go get you something to eat
Muriel: don't worry;i will do that for you?
Joan: thank you ma
Muriel: you welcome(curtain)


Loveth: mom;where is dad?
Grace: he didn't know that you are hospitalise
Loveth: thank you mom
Grace: i don't want to tell lies to your dad anymore
Loveth: i know but i am sorry mom
Grace: what happen to you?
Loveth: i fell from the staircase(enter Doctor/Liz)doctor;how is my baby?
Doctor: i am sorry;you have a miscarriage
Loveth: what?
Doctor: i don't know if you got involve in a fight;is like there is force on your stomach which let to this(Grace looked at her)
Loveth: doctor;you are joking right?Mom;tell me,my baby is alright,my baby is fine(Grace held her close and cried)Mom;my baby is fine;stop crying
Doctor: i am sorry,excuse me(exit Doctor)
Loveth: not my baby(she cried)not my innocent baby;i would had died instead of my baby
Liz: i am sorry my daughter(Grace slapped her)what is it?
Grace: tell your son;i don't want to see him close to my daughter and as for you get out of here(she pushed her)i wonder how you trained that monster of yours?(Loveth just stay here and cry over her baby)
Liz: Grace;it hasn't gotten to that
Grace: i can joke with everything in my life but not my daughter and i can't stand the fact that she is getting hurt all because of your son;so leave(she pushed her and she walked away)Love
Loveth: just leave me alone;i want my baby;go get me;my baby(he hugged her and cry)
Grace: i am sorry
Loveth: i just want to go away
Grace: i want to right my wrong by taking you out of here(they hugged)i will do anything for you?(curtain)

Luke: Joan
Joan: what?
Luke: i am sorry;i didn't mean to yell at you;i should understand that you are going through stress
Joan: really?don't tell you are sorry because i know you are not
Luke: i am genuinely sorry;i said those words out of anger
Joan: yes;you said it because that was the fact;you love just her
Luke: Joan;we don't have to go through this all the time
Joan: i am just saying;you have just one space in your heart and its for her
Luke: Joan(he screamed)will you just stop
Joan: you want to beat me up because of her
Luke: i don't have any intent of doing that. do you have to keep torturing me with Loveth
Joan: you should be grateful;i am here with you after she dump you
Luke: Joan;that is enough;i am sorry if everything about me;is irritating you but please lets just make up
Joan: fine;just tell me;you stop loving her
Luke: Joan;not again
Joan: is it hard to say
Luke: fine;i stopped loving her;so are we good now?
Joan: maybe
Luke: i brought you cheese
Joan: thank you
Luke: should i get you milk
Joan: yes
Luke: alright(he take a deep breath)women are so unpredictable(curtain)

Loveth: mom;why are you packing up my stuff?
Grace: i am transferring you to another hospital
Loveth: what?where is Jude?does he know about this?
Grace: uh...um....
Loveth: come on answer me?(back Liz)
Liz: son thank God you are here
Jude: what is going on?
Liz: Grace;drove me out and i am sure she want to take Loveth away from you
Jude: that is not possible
Liz: go in and see for yourself(back to LOVETH)
Loveth: why are you quiet
Grace: Love;yes i told him
Loveth: you told Jude we are leaving and he agree?(enter Jude/Liz)
Grace: yes;he did
Jude: where are you taking my wife?
Grace: she is no longer your wife;i am taking her away from you monster
Jude: okay;Loveth;do you want to go with her?before you answer remember what we talked about
Loveth: mom;i don't want to go,he is still my husband and i love him
Grace: Love;you don't know what you are saying
Jude: come with me;Loveth
Loveth: mom;i know what i am doing;i want t go with my husband
Jude: you heard her right
Grace: fine(she walked away)
Loveth: mom;i am sorry(she cried)lets just go
Liz: thank you my daughter;for not letting your mom ruin your marriage
Loveth: my marriage indeed
Jude: shall we(curtain)

Luke: mom;i am going out;please stay with her
Muriel: i will
Joan: Luke;please don't leave me
Luke: but i have somewhere to go to
Joan: i know you are not going to the hospital then where are you going to?
Luke: i....uh....um....i.....
Muriel: if you don't have anything important to do then stay with her
Luke: but.....
Joan: please
Luke: fine;i will(he sat down)
Joan: thank you very much(curtain)

Jude: hey;why are you standing there like a witch
Loveth: i am sorry(she turn to leave)
Jude: Loveth
Loveth: i am sorry;i forgot(she walk back to him)
Jude: is okay;sit(she sat down)i am sorry(she stared at him)i am sorry about the baby(tears roll her eyes)sorry;if i hurt you
Loveth: i am sorry too;if i hurt you(she take his hand)thank you for forgiving me
Jude: is okay(she stood to leave but he dragged her back)can i get something from you?
Loveth: which is?(he try to kissed her and she withdrew from him)
Jude: is my mouth smelling?
Loveth: no no no,not at all;i just do not like it
Jude: just leave(she walked away)such a stupid girl. everything in her head is that stupid Luke;dammit
Loveth: (to herself)will i ever get a life;everyone is hurting me;i don't want to blame mom for all my pains;i just wish i could pull through all the pains myself(curtain)



READ MORE......




NAIRAJOKES.COM




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“c’mon dear, let’s just sleep” i murmured
cautiously as i quickly tried to get control of
my pe.nis.
“but you are almost aroused. What could be
the problem?. I’m just trying to please you” she asked curiously, her unclad bosoms
dangling freely with an inviting look. I
swallowed hard and looked away.
“please my dear let’s forget about se.x for
now. I’m yet to get myself you know what i
mean” i explained nervously and backed her. “it’s obvious you don’t want me. I brought
out my time to satisfy you and you are
turning me down. Can you swear you don’t
feel like fuc.king huh?. I’m not a kid, you
just don’t want to do it with me” she rattled
on and on while i kept quiet and pretended to be asleep.
She was very right, i badly felt like having
s#x that moment but i couldn’t get myself
to do it with her. She simply wasn’t for me.
I couldn’t sleep after that seductive
encounter. I just kept quiet, closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep till 5am when
my phone alarm rang.
___
Mary finally left that morning without
creating any new scene, though i apologized
to her over and over before she left. But seriously i felt she clearly understood the
situation of things because no matter my
apologies and lies, she was matured enough
to figure out that perhaps i was being nice
to her out of pressure. I felt she knew all
that but simply preferred living with the hope that we were perfect for each other.
Anyway the heart of a woman is very
complex and so i really couldn’t pin-point
the exact thing in her mind.
I left for work later in the morning still
feeling horn.y. Even though i had a lot of work to cover, i still couldn’t concentrate
because my body needed s#x. I cursed the
silly witch over and over for waking up the
monster in me.
___
Chioma didn’t report for work that fateful day, which got me a bit worried. I tried
calling her but she rejected my calls,
spoiling my mood heavily.
By 1:39pm, i left my office and headed to
her apartment, very determined to resolve
issues with her once and for all. I soon got to the place she lived. A
beautiful bungalow few kilometers away
from our office. I was very nervous as i
made my way to her apartment, rang the
door bell and waited impatiently.
A minute later she opened the door and stared at me with surprise. She prevented
me from going inside, instead came out and
shut the door behind her.
“why are you here?” she asked rudely,
“i came for us to talk” i stammered,
“there is nothing to talk. You have lost your chance with me, so please respect yourself
and leave. I have a visitor” she said coldly,
shocking me with her words. I instantly
became threatened and jealous when i heard
her mention she was with someone.
“who are you with?” i asked curiously. She simply scoffed, eyed me, turned and
returned to her apartment, quickly shutting
the door and giving me no chance to force
my way in.
My heart felt like exploding, i couldn’t
believe it was all happening. I headed to my car almost in tears.
“could she be cheating on me?” I wondered
miserably. I regretted knowing her, regretted
going over to her apartment, regretted
loving her. I felt like drowning myself with
alcohol. I felt like going to a place far away. I just couldn’t take it anymore.
My phone rang that moment, bringing me
back to reality. I checked the screen and
saw the name “ANITA”.
Breathing deeply, i answered the call.
Anita was a federal polytechnic student located downtown. She was one of the girls
i knew before Mary and Chioma came into
my life. She was very beautiful, tall and
slim. But the only problem i had with her
was the way she demanded for things. She
was way too demanding and i really was tired of making promises i couldn’t fulfill.
As i answered her call, i knew she was
calling for no other thing but money, but as
things stood, i sure needed someone like her
to calm my nerves.
“you really have forgotten me, it isn’t fair ooo. Simply because i asked for a new
phone. It has been more than a month we
last spoke to each other. I’m coming to your
house this evening should i come?” she
asked.
“yes” i muttered.

>>

Gujju English love letter:

Mari Deer Pusspa Ben,

U r que tea, luv lee, sack sea, on nest, a tract thief, cheer fool, soup pub and u r very press yes.

Tharo Lower,

Cum less Bhai.Related

MOTHER’S LOVE [Read it]


A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After his Mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it, and this is what it said:

For cutting the grass: $5.00
For cleaning up my room this week: $1.00
For going to the store for you: $.50
Baby-sitting my kid brother while you went shopping: $.25
Taking out the garbage: $1.00
For getting a good report card: $5.00
For cleaning up and raking the yard: $2.00
Total owed: $14.75


Well, his mother looked at him standing there, and the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind. She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he’d written on, and this is what she wrote:

For the nine months I carried you while you were growing inside me: No Charge
For all the nights that I’ve sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you: No Charge
For all the trying times, and all the tears that you’ve caused through the years: No Charge
For all the nights that were filled with dread, and for the worries I knew were ahead: No Charge
For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose: No Charge
Son, when you add it up, the cost of my love is: No Charge.

When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes, and he looked straight at his mother and said, “Mom, I sure do love you.” And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote: “PAID IN FULL”.

Lessons:

You will never know your parents worth till you become a parent
Be a giver not an acquirer, especially with your parents. there is a lot to give, besides money.
BECAUSE MONEY IS THE WORST WAY OF MEASURING HAPPINESS…?


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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One day a happy couple Jay and Marie were walking
down the forest when suddenly a giant snake jumped
on Jay's leg and bit his dick. Since no one was around
for miles Marie called a hospital and told the doctor
"Quick Quick I need your help my boyfriend got bit by
a snake on his penis" The doctor told her "Maam your gonna have to suck the venom out yourself" Marie
asked "Please doctor there has to be another way to
get rid of the venom" The doctor says "Sorry theres
nothing we can do" So Marie goes running to her
boyfriend When she gets there Jay says with pain "So
what did the doctor say?" Marie says "Doctor said your gonna die"



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-18 18:37:43

1820 Views




Man 1: I am getting married. How would I know if my wife is a virgin?


Man 2: Get an ‘Irish Virginity Test’ Kit.


Man 1: What’s that?


Man 2: It contains a small can of Red paint, a small can of Blue paint and a Hammer.


Man 1: That sounds crazy! How can virginity be tested with that?


Man 2: Paint your right ball Red and left ball Blue… and as you remove your underwear, if your wife says, ‘that’s the strangest pair of balls I’ve ever seen, hit her on her head with the hammer !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Related

I woke up, i asked where i was and i
was told that i was in Lagos
University Teaching Hospital (LUTH)
Idi-Araba, i asked what happened to
me and they told me it has been two
weeks i was unconscious. They gave
me the good news that the bank has
drop charges against me because
they were able to apprehend the IT
guy in the office who said it was
some guys that installed a software
on his system and instructed him to
just put any of the bank network
cable into his laptop, he said he
didn’t know what they wanted to do
with it but they promised him
N1million naira if he was able to
deliver which he did and they paid
him the money, the funniest thing
was that those guys that sent him
have travelled out of the country. I
was told the bank has withdrawn my
service from their employment too, i
was happy because at least am not
going back to the prison.
I asked when i will be going home
and i was surprised when my father
started preaching for me again saying
i will need to be strong and be a
man, this time around, you don’t
need to think about any other thing
rather how you will get better, after
running series of test on you, it was
discovered that you have untreated
syphilis for over a very long period of
time which has affected your kidney
and you will be needing transplant
later on and the fact that you also
have a partial
stroke….WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I saw my sister Nimat whipping me
with a cane and after flogging me for
close to an hour and blood coming
out of my body, she started chasing
me up and down with cutlass, i was
running away from her as i didn’t
know where the strength was coming
for, all i heard her saying while
chasing me was “i told you i will hunt
you down” “i told you”, i was
pleading with her but she was still
chasing me then i fell down on the
floor, the moment she wanted to cut
me with the cutlass, i shouted mo ku
oooo (Am dead ooo)..


>>

Oga came back later in the night and blew the
horn of his car very loudly signalling me to come
outside and bring in the foodstuffs he bought.
I wore my slippers and went out to bring in the
foodstuffs immediately.
There was one bag of rice, one carton of tin
tomatoes, some onions and a host of other
condiments to be carried inside.
I carried the bag of rice first, followed by the
carton of tin tomatoes and then I came out to
carry the last batch of the condiments he bought
when he smuggled a polythene bag into the bag
and signalled me that the polythene
was mine.
I carried the condiments inside and codedly took
the polythene into my room.
“Let me see that bag you’re carrying into your
room!” Madam intercepted abruptly from the door
of the master bedroom.
I froze with fear and my legs wobbled.
“Those are the detergents I gave her to use and
wash our bedsheets,” Oga intervened immediately
joining us in the corridor.
Madam went back into the master bedroom while
I returned to my small room with the polythene.
Inside the polythene was Meatpie, one chicken
lap, popcorn and canned drink.
The sight was so appetising that I instantly
started from the meatpie without delay.
The meatpie was very sweet and I nearly bit my
fingers while devouring it.
The chicken soon followed and was extremely
delicious. It was well spiced and grilled and I
munched the entire lot in no time.
Then I washed it down with the cold drink and
cleaned my mouth.
I folded the polythene bag with the empty can and
disposed it into the dustbin.
I felt happy and well catered for by Oga even
though my madam the Jezebel of the house was
still around.
Around 9pm the family had dinner and went to
bed.
I stayed back to clear and wash the utensils used
for the dinner before having my own dinner.
Then I went to bed.
Around 1.00am midnight, Oga sneaked in as usual
and I woke up when I felt his hands gliding up
and down my waist and bumbum.
He had earlier suggested to me to stop wearing
pant to bed inorder to make things easier and
faster without having to start fiddling up and
down in the darkness trying to remove pant.
I took heed of his suggestion and from that day
onwards I stopped wearing pants to bed.
So when he came in that night, their wasn’t any
blockade on the way so he felt my entire body
with his hands and savouring the soft contours
soon got himself aroused.
Then he penetrated me.
His thrusts were sharp and forceful and filled with
lust.
Before I could count to 20, he started groaning
and jerking spasmodically as his thrusts became
involuntary and I felt warm liquid spurt into my
wet canal.
After that he became still and withdrew his d!ck,
got up and left for his master bedroom…


Drop your comments below








NAIRAJOKES.COM




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If civilization is to survive, it must live on the interest, not the capital, of nature.

-Ronald WrightRelated

Rutthi Jo Zindgi To Mana Lenge Hum,

Mile Jo Gam Vo Seh Lenge Hum,

Bus Aap Rehna Humesha Sath Humare To,

Nikalte Huye Aansuo Me Bhi Muskura Lenge Hum…Related

Obed and Mansa were up to something. Whatever
it was, Mrs. Amposah was definitely not happy
about it.
You could tell the surprise on Mrs. Amposah’s face. She didn’t believe her ears.
“Mansa, since when have you known this
man?
Besides, he is just a new member in the churchâ€
Mrs Amposah asked.
Mansa was about answering her when Obed interrupted.
“Mrs Amposah, i think i need to have a
conversation with you .†Obed said.
“Oh yes, we really need to do that. Mansa,
excuse
us†Mrs Amposah said instructing Mansa. Mansa left them and went into her room.
To her surprise she found a note on her bed. It
was from Kuu. She opened and read it.
Back at the living room, Mrs Amposah and Obed
had begun their serious conversation.
“Mrs Amposah, i know you may find this surprising
but i have actually known Mansa for long even
before i joined the church. She is very dear to me
and i take the responsibility of the pregnancy. â€
Obed said.
From Mrs Amposah’s view, she saw Obed to be a
very wealthy young man. She felt that probably,
Obed will be another source of income if she was
able to lure Obed into marrying Mansa.
After all, she is pregnant and per their church’s
doctrines, one needs to marry before conceiving a child but in Mansa’s case, it was not it says.
The
only thing to absorb her was to get Obed to marry
Mansa.
Her attitude then changed all of sudden. She
began acting nicely and welcoming.
“Good, Mansa is a very good girl. She will be a
good wife†Mrs Amposah said.
Obed’s face changed, this wasn’t definitely
part of
their plan. She was actually talking about marriage
here.
However Obed was too smart for that.
“Mrs Amposah, i think marriage is a bit
sudden. I
believe taking responsibility of the child and Mansa
herself is enough to keep her life back on track.
When its comes to Marriage, readiness must be
very vital†Obed said.
Mrs Amposah was not happy about the response
Obed gave. She doesn’t want him to take only the
responsibility of the Child but also to marry her as
well.
With that, she could get rid of Mansa entirely and
also use that to gain money that she had already
been spending. “Look, i hope you know the implications of
what
you are doing? You know Mansa very well and her
role at church. If she does not get married, per
our
church’s doctrines, she will be relinquished from
all her positions and aside that, she will be made
to sit at the back and personally, i won’t stay
under
the same roof with such a person. I don’t
think you want something like that to happen to her.†Mrs
Amposah said.
This was a bit hard for Obed to take, it was true
about the church’s doctrines but he wondered
why
such things were in place. Is the church meant for righteous people? That’s a question which
needs to
be answered.
Mansa on the other hand was wondering what
the
note Kuu had left behind meant. Its reads:
“I’m really sorry Mansa, But i have to go. In
the
right time, you will understandâ€
She stood there wondering where Kuu had gone
to, before she realized Chris had come into her room without even knocking.
Mansa got upset seeing him taking into
consideration all he had done that morning.
Trying to get her into sleeping with him and even
to the extent of lying to his mother that she was
the one forcing herself on him. †What are you doing here Chris? Get out of my
room before i scream†Mansa said.
“Please listen to me, forgive me but Mansa i
need
you to hear me out on this pleaseâ€
Chris pleaded. That wasn’t enough for Mansa, she even got
angry
the more.
“I should have known all this while, you
cunning
snake. You became so nice to me just because you
wanted to satisfy your lustful desire. May God
forgive you. I can’t believe i was this stupid. â

Mansa said raising her voice.
“Calm down Mansa, calm down, I’m really sorry for
this whole thing, i am sorry, just hear me out
please. I beg of youâ€. Chris kept pleading.
Mansa was silent, as angry as she was, her soft
heart always had a way through her.
She was quiet for some few seconds and said to Chris
“You have 2 minutes, so you better start
talkingâ€
Chris quickly went on with it.
“Mansa, i have a confession, i know we may
have started on a wrong foot but i have actually not felt
this way with anyone. I love you Mansa. I know
ethically its wrong considering the fact that Iâ
€™m
your foster brother, but hey, who can decide who
to be in love with, It just happens naturally. Mansa,
i really do love you. I know you may be pregnant
but it doesn’t change anything, I really love
youâ€
Chris said.
As touching as Chris’s word was, Mansa found it
funny.
“and i suppose you want me to just accept
your
proposal and jump into your arms as your
girlfriend when you are supposed to be my brother. where were you when Kuu was being
supportive all this while? Look, i believe you are
done talking? Get out of my room†Mansa said.
“You are talking about Kuu being supportive,
that’s
very funny. I don’t blame you. That’s how you have
made him seen you.†Chris said.
“What do you mean by that, and how have
you
made me seen you, a liar and a snake?†Mansa
said, but this time around more furious. “Look girl, you better calm down. What if i tell
you
I’m aware you have been raped and i know
the one
who did itâ€
Chris revealed. Now that got the attention of Mansa. Her face just
lighted up with shock.
“What! Chris you are not telling me
somethingâ€
Mansa said.

>>

As he kept staring into her eyes, Juliet uttered
” i want you to make me your woman tonight
my love” she took of her long straight dress
and she was left standing with her nude
body. She moved closer and whispered to
him ” make me yours” ish held her b----t and
began to kiss her roughly. Their kisses became
so intensive that none was able to control his or herself. Juliet began to move backwards while
ishmeal was kissing and caressing her whole
body. They fell into the chair.
Ishmeal removed his shorts and juliet stared
beneath him. Her emotions arose and her
heart began to beat so fast. She opened her
her legs and ishmeal laid between them and
began to kiss and caress her once more.
Ishmeal got hold of his d*ck to get into her
when her phone rang. Ish retrieved and
asked her to answer the call. She reluntactly
did so, it couldnt be any one else but john
who will not let her be. ” i am at your gate” he
said to her when she answered. ” okay” she
asnwered calmly.
Juliet and ishmeal were disapointed for an
unfinished business. They stared at each other
for a while, ish smiled at her and got up. She
did likewise and they got dressed. Juliet
became somehow shy because of what had
happened. They set the place in order and
juliet went out to receive her guest.
.
.

.

Ishmeal recalled all these when they were almost at
Carlifonia. ” son… Son.. We have arrived” miss
cynthia said to her son who seems to be lost
in thought. The plane got to Carlifonia around
11pm in the night. ” are you part of the
student the government sponsered?” he was
asked after showing his card. After being
realised to be part of the students, ish and his
mother were sent to an apartment unknown to
them. They were told they wil be living there
till further notice. Ishmeal was glad everything
worked out well without any difficulties. His
mum wasnt happy as he was. ” my son, you
have to be aware that the government is
sponsering you for your academic and
nothing more. I have to find a job” she said to
her son, holding him by the arm. Ishmeal
assured his mum that he was aware of
everything and that she shouldnt worry about
a thing. ” i will find a job myself mum lets get
to bed and think of what to do tomorrow.” he
said to his mum and fell on the bed. Her mum
watched him sleep. Ishmeal couldnt actually
sleep, because he couldnt stop thinking of
how to get to Christiana. Miss cynthia went to
bed when ishmeal was still battling with his
conscince.
The drama begins now…..

>>

A little boy went to his old grandpa and asked,
"What's the value of life?"
The grandpa gave him one stone and said, "Find
out the value of this stone, but don't sell it."
The boy took the stone to an Orange Seller and
asked him what its cost would be. The Orange Seller saw the shiny stone and said,
"You can take 12 oranges and give me the stone."
The boy apologized and said that the grandpa has
asked him not to sell it.
He went ahead and found a vegetable seller. "What
could be the value of this stone?" he asked the vegetable seller.
The seller saw the shiny stone and said, "Take one
sack of potatoes and give me the stone."
The boy again apologized and said he can't sell it.
Further ahead, he went into a jewelery shop and
asked the value of the stone. The jeweler saw the stone under a lens and said,
"I'll give you 50 million for this stone." When the
boy shook his head, the jeweler said, "Alright,alrigh
t, take 2 gold necklace, but give me the stone."
The boy explained that he can't sell the stone.
Further ahead, the boy saw a precious stone's shop and asked the seller the value of this stone.
When the precious stone's seller saw the big ruby,
he lay down a red cloth and put the ruby on it.
Then he walked in circles around the ruby and bent
down and touched his head in front of the ruby.
"From where did you bring this priceless ruby from?" he asked.
"Even if I sell the whole world, and my life, I won't
be able to purchase this priceless stone.
Stunned and confused, the boy returned to the
grandpa and told him what had happened. "Now
tell me what is the value of life, grandpa?" Grandpa said, "The answers you got from the
Orange Seller, the Vegetable Seller, the Jeweler &
the Precious Stone's Seller explain the value of our
life...You may be a precious stone, even priceless,
but people will value you based on their financial
status, their level of information, their belief in you, their motive behind entertaining you,their ambition,
and their risk taking ability. But don't fear, you will
surely find someone who will discern your true
value."
Respect yourself.
You are Unique. No one can Replace you! #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I hv lst my hand, oh!

Santa: Control urself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?Related

In the final WASSCE examination, the teacher caught Akpos looking into Kwame’s work.

The following conversation ensued:

Teacher: Why are you looking at Kwame’s exam paper?

Akpos: Just looking if he got the answer right.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-13 01:43:46

318 Views




Last year was a year of hunger in a certain county called namibia there was a husband & his wife en they wre very poor

one day the husband went to his neighbour to ask him for mahangu meal because they dnt have anything to eat at hme.

The neighbour help the man and he went . On his way home its start to rain.
While the man was walking though it was raining he step on a palm fruit than falldown all the mahangu meal fall in the water and he went home crying;-(;-( saying a poor remain poor.
Than


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-05 15:04:25

285 Views



Sallah Joke [Read it]


A fat chicken cat walked past a ram tied to a tree during this Sallah.

The chicken greeted the Ram jestfully, saying: "Bros I dey hail o, happy Sallah."

And the Ram replied the chicken, "Merry Christmas in Advance!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-07 09:41:22

1295 Views




Youngest son: Dad,whats the difference between
'potential' and 'reality'?
Dad turns to wife: would u sleep with Dbanj for
$1 million?
Wife: Of course, I will never waste that
opportunity.
Dad turns to daughter: Would u sleep with Wizkid
for $1 million?
Daughter: Yes! He is my fantasy.
Dad turns to elder son: Would u sleep with
DAVIDO for $1 million?
Eldest son: Why not? Imagine what I would do
with that money.
Dad turns to his youngest son: U see
son, 'potentially' we are sitting with multi
millionaires BUT in 'reality' we are sitting with
two prostitutes and one Gay idiot.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-27 14:57:55

557 Views




If u want the latest MERCEDES BENZ on easy installments of 10 yrs without any down payment
.

.

.

.

.

.

.

log onto our website: www.kutteapniaukatmeinrah.com.Related

Akpos was caring something inside a black sack.
when his friend Okon approached him and asked, "Bro What are you carrying?"
Akpos replied "Longer troth, its bread"
"Waoo thats Cool, If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?" says Okon"
Akpos murmured and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them"

One word for Akpos


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-28 08:38:30

740 Views




One day akpororo was in a biology class and his teacher ws busy explaining but instead akpororo was busy putting spit on his head then later that grabed the teachers attention;
Teacher: Akpororo what happen er u okay?
Akpororo:uhh...sir your teachings no dey enter sir
Teacher:what does dat has to do with putting spit on head head?
Akpororo: uhh...last night i overheard my mama telling my papa that if it is nt entering put spit on the head
Teacher:uhhhhhhhhhhhh...ok


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-13 12:43:05

750 Views




Wezzy.bm
good guy turn bad
6

1) NA YOUR FACE BE THIS?
Answer: NO NA MY HIPS.
2) Guy how far? NA YOU BE THIS?
Answer: NO o! NA MY PAPA WHEN HIM YOUNG.
3) On ur wedding, one idiot walked up to you as you are
about to take ur wedding pix with ur wife...
NA YOUR WIFE BE THIS?
Answer: NO OH! NA MY MAMA CLASS MATE.
4)Give me your phone number -
0803476... ....THANKS.
SO YOU DEY USE MTN?
Answer: NO!!! NA NEPA I DEY USE.
5)I listened to 9 o'clock news, it
was announced that the election was postponed. WHO
TOLD YOU?
Answer: NA ONE NATIVE DOCTOR FOR MY VILLAGE.
6)Take this mosquito coil; e dey
kill insect fast...
Thanks bros. E DEY KILL MOSQUITOS?
Answer: NO,E DEY KILL ELEPHANT.
7)Standing in front of a police station* SHEY NA POLICE
STATION
BE THIS?
Answer: No! Na CHURCH....
ADD UR OWN JOIN!!!



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-08 19:17:16

239 Views




A teacher once cane a student for not being able to spell the word cow.
After the classes the student went home to report it to his father, this is what was ensued between the teacher and the father the next morning.
Father; please sir why should you allow my son to spell such a big animal like that.
Teacher; its a big animal but has three letter words.
Father; why don't you allow my son to spell a small animal like mosquito.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-15 00:19:48

659 Views




Jeeto to her teenaged daughter going to party, “Have a nice time and be a good girl”!

Pinky: Mom, please make up your mind!Related

Communication [Read it]


So this my yoruba friend married this
hausa girl and took her to ondo.
Communication was obviously an
issue as she doesn't understand the
language.
Everytime she goes to the grocery
store she would lift her gown, point
to her thighs and the seller would
understand she needs chicken thighs.
This went on everytime.
One day she wanted to buy banana,
so she took her husband ......
Oh wait! What are you thinking? Haha the man
understands yoruba na


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-28 20:01:07

568 Views




THE MISTAKE OF MY LIFE

EPISODE 1

My name is Antoinette and this is my story...

22nd June 2014

6:30am

I woke up from sleep with a very terrible headache, while hunger and fear occupied the rest of my body.
Reginald who was lying by my side instantly coughed, startling me. I rubbed my eyes, got up from bed and smiled at little Akosua who was sleeping peaceful on her cot.

That fateful day was my 19th birthday, but instead of being the happiest day of my life, it brought great suspence, fear and sorrow with it. It was equally the last day Reginald, my boyfriend and little Akosua’s father gave me to pack out from his room.

Our relationship suddenly turned sour when I got pregnant for him. He never wanted me to keep the baby, but I refused to terminate it leaving him with no choice than to accept responsibility, when my parents threw me out of their house.
I was in SHS 3 when it happened, while he was just a struggling brick layer and a motor mechanic apprentice. We both were from poor backgrounds which truly worsened everything.

I was then left at his mercy, and out of frustration he never allowed a moment to pass without reminding me of the hardship I was causing him and how unlucky I was. Those were the moments I felt like killing myself.

I admit I made a terribly mistake by having unprotected sex and getting pregnant for him, but harming my innocent baby was what I really couldn’t do.

I managed and struggled with determination until I gave birth to my little girl on 21st December 2013. Reginald on his part grudgingly supported me by providing the little he had which he never did without complaining, but the love and joy my little girl brought into my life sustained and gave me hope.

As soon as little Akosua was born, he gave me six months to leave his house. At first I thought it was one of his numerous careless comments, but as June slowly drew near, he began singing it almost everyday in my ears. Leaving me confused, demoralized and unhappy.

It really wasn’t as if he was spending much on us. I only ate twice daily while little Akosua survived on my breast milk and few ‘Tins’ of baby milk concerned neighbours especially our landlady do give us.
The previous day, 21st June, he almost strangled me simply because I begged him to allow us stay few more months with him. I had no money on me, nor family to seek because to them I was good as dead. Not even when I took little Akosua to them months after she was born did their mind change.

I murmured some prayers as I awaited my fate, wondering where to go, when he eventually wakes up and throws us out.

What happens next ?
WATCH OUT FOR EPISODE 2


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Akpos attended a wedding.


After the wedding the reception was a gathering of about 30 people.


He sat at the front seat.


Then a lady started sharing food. She started from the back and unfortunately, it didn’t reach those at the front.


When her friends started sharing drinks, they started from the front but unfortunately, Akpos had already changed his seat to the back.


Again, the drink didn’t reach him.


Akpos was so furious that he stood up to take his leave, but then he saw three ladies each with a big bowl.


This time, he tried to be wise by seating in the middle.


To his uttermost surprise, one of the ladies started sharing from the front while the second lady started distributing from the back. It was turkey meat. When it got to the middle where he was seated it got finished again.


Feeling so frustrated, Akpos bent his head, not looking at any face… .. But then the third lady tapped him and stretched her bowl that he should pick.. he stretched his hand…


Guess what was in the bowl? **TOOTHPICK.** 
Lol! Hapi weekend t u all!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-04 17:33:21

422 Views



African Parent [Read it]


African Parent be like......
David, this is Uncle Andrew, he travelled to America before u were born.
Do you still remember him?
#how



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-07 15:43:44

294 Views



Reality [Read it]


Like centee use to write-it is selfishness that will make you post a joke or story wanting people to comment but you dont comment on people's post
Please and please lets make this site lively.I am a new member and i discovered that you people use to ignore posts.153 readers but 3 comments
Lets make this site lively and full of fun......
For now this site is the best joke site i have ever seen.Thank you for your understanding



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-30 20:10:44

230 Views



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