Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


On FACEBOOK :- AnGeL NiShA, PwInCeSs Ria and

PaRi Shehzadi.

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In REALITY :- Mummy, kapde dho diye hai. Ab to

thodi der ‘Kampyutar(/Computer)’ istamal karne do. Please.Related

Motion Sickness [Read it]


Santa and Banta are discussing the possibility of love. “I thought I was in love three times,” Santa says.
“Thought…?” Banta asks. “What do you mean?”
“Three years ago, I cared very deeply for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me,” Santa says.
“Wasn’t that love?” Banta asks.
“No, that was obsession,” Santa explains. “Then two years ago, I cared very deeply for an attractive woman who didn’t understand me.”
“Wasn’t that love?” asks Banta.
“No, that was lust,” Santa replies. “And just last year, I met a woman while I was on a cruise. She was gorgeous, intelligent, a great conversationalist and had a super sense of humor. Everywhere I followed her on that ship, I would get a very strange sensation in the pit of my stomach.”
“Well, wasn’t that love,” asks Banta.
“No. That was motion sickness!” Santa replies.Related

pls judge these case according to the rule.......... no lafff oooooo
3 thieves were taken to court,
and were found guilty
1st man stole 1 sardine. The
judge said 3yrs in prison cos
there are 3 fishes inside 1
sardine.
The 2nd man stole a tray of eggs,
he got 30yrs in prison cos a tray
of egg contains 30eggs *tear*.
The 3rd guy collapsed.
Do u know why?
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.
He stole a bag of rice.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-17 13:05:03

180 Views




One of my clashes of the titan was when I was
blacklisted in the Scorpion Cult bad books just
because I had neglected advances towards me
from their leader. Getting confused? Let me
rewind back to what really happened. So, we went for the Concert which brought top renowned
artiste into the country; celebrities like Wizkid and
Chris Brown broke the stage into shreds. Shantel
was at my place early as we all had decided to go
together.
Shantel wore an armless top with mini-jeans skirt with her cowboy stilettos. I had burgundy peplum
gown on me and an ankle boot shoe to match.
Askaline had chinos
tapered pant – very tight with jumper on top
covered with purple blazer. We were simply tag
the name ‘fiery babes’ at the hostel. Emeka, a Nigerian and member of the strongest
Cult ever in the country had harassed me for a very
long time since my admission and it’s becoming
very annoying and embarrassing for me. What
does he really think? That he can control every
woman his so heart wish desire. Hell No! He is mistaken, he has met a different woman, will
simply not be his puppet that will beckon on his
utterances.
At the Concert, we rocked the groove to Chris
Brown hit song ‘don’t judge me’ as we all
chorused along with the Star, hopped and made deafening sound to his crazy dance moves. The
crowd was in an exhilarating atmosphere. As for
me, I didn’t mind anyone business. I shook every
juicy part on my body to any random dude that
came along. Suddenly, got a shrill feeling alerting
me that I needed to take a leak. I had to scream on top of my voice to the carried away Shantel
and Askaline that I had to excuse myself for the
loo.
Found myself scurrying like a rat chasing for
cheese across the hallway frisking for a word that
says ‘gents and ladies’ but couldn’t find one. It took the intervention of a security guard who
came to my aid and directed me to go down the
pathway that leads to this lobby and take my left.
After following his instruction meticulously, I
found the word I was looking for displayed on the
door plaque sign. I whizz in like a buzzing bee and did what needed
to be done to ease the suffering I was going
through at that point. Felt relieved, as I sauntered
back to the concert, some guys seized me from
behind and dragged me into one of the gents
with their awful hands over my mouth. Trepidation, anxiety, all kinds of fear
overwhelmed me that instant. Watching too
much Nollywood movies had a toll on my mind
as I fixated on what the boys could do to my
angelic body.
It dawned on me that it could be Emeka’s friends who had apprehended me. “Ah! Na you dey put
our Boss for plenty wahala abi? You think say,
sake of you fine so you fit do anything wey you
like. You don die today” A guy from the three-
gang uttered in his croak voice which was
probably from the excessive intake of alcohol. I laid flat on the ground and made no sound as I
didn’t want any slap on my face from a slightest
comment I might make. Another guy dipped his
hands into his pocket and
revealed his phone and began swiping it, frisking
for a contact to call. He waited for a while and directed the phone towards his ear. “Hello Boss,
You remember that girl wey dey give you tough
time, we don catch am for where Chris Brown dey
do the show”
He waited for a while obviously receiving
instructions from the other end then he continued. “Yes we dey for the Arena, okay, you
dey around the area? Okay, we go guide her and
wait for you” Then he hung up. He then uttered to
the third guy “Snake, Boss dey come, he say make
we hold am hostage” My hopes were kaput as I
knew no one was coming to my rescue. By this time, the awful stench of urinal was about to
make me puke. After some minutes, Emeka barged in and he was
displeased. Instantly, I heard a loud smack
landing on their faces which sent them reeling.
“Why will you make her sit on this stench
ground?” His bellowed voice even made me
confused. I would have enjoyed this awkward moment if we were probably seeing each other.
He quickly held my hands and raised me to my
feet.
I feign puppy eyes and screamed at him “Emeka,
you allowed your boys to treat me as If I am a
tissue paper just because of your foolish proposal. What is it? What is it? Is
it a must I should accept? I won’t accept and I will
never be your girlfriend in this world or the next”
And my scream faded out. I could see how sorry
he was as he pleaded. “Merissa, I am truly sorry
for how my boys treated you, pardon me please. I want you to give me your mind, accept me as
your guy and you will be protected or else…”
“Else what?” I flared. His voice suddenly got
enhanced, sent shiver down my spine “Your life
would be in grave danger at school. I have boys at
every edges and corner of this campus, eyes will be on you Merissa. So don’t think you are invisible
and let me also warn you; you are not the only
one involved, your friends, Askaline and Shantel
would be caught and beaten to a pulp if you do
not comply with my needs”
“Emeka, this is too far stretched. You now even have the effrontery to bring my darling friends
into this. I will make sure….” The guy didn’t even
allow me to finish.
“You will make sure what? If you try anything, you
are doomed; friends, even family or you think we
don’t know your parent” I was shocked! He began to laugh raucously. “Is your mother not the owner
of the chains of outlet store named the Cleaves
Fashion?”
“I have your par-ti-culars” in his Nigerian pidgin
accent, “We don mean you die”. At this point, I
pleaded asking if its money they want, that I am equal to the task of providing any amount they
want but Emeka snickered.
Using my espionage senses, I could sense
someone was watching from outside and the
person had probably seen me in my vulnerable
state and held a plank which obviously I really didn’t mind what for. As it is done in the
Hollywood movies, any defensive action is not a
crime. Abeg oga knack am for head ojare… trying
to emulate Emeka’s pidgin.
Like a speed of lightning, their faces become
visible. Shantel and Askaline held sapele wood planks and forced themselves in to hit the two
guards behind me simultaneously. I quickly
snatch the plank from Askaline to defend myself
from Emeka’s reflexes that can result to any
beating or slap.
As Emeka saw this, he knew there is nothing he could do. He shouted “It’s not over Merissa. My
boys and I will get you. We shall come looking for
you at Pentagon Hostel. You better watch your
back ladies.”
We didn’t utter a word. We all bent down and
removed our shoes and ran out from the Arena straight into the car and drove out of the
premises. While driving, I ask, “How did you girls
managed to know where I was?”
“Actually, we thought you were lost and couldn’t
find your way back until we heard sounds coming
from the ‘gents room’ so we decided to have a look and we sighted you being held against your
will” Shantel says.
“Thanks girlfriends, I owe you my life. These guys
have really gone too far this time and this means
war.”
Askaline scoffs “War you say, do you have what it takes to go to war with those hoodlums. We’ll
simply be having our head on a stake if we decide
to pull a stunt like that.”
I heave a sigh. “You are right dear, but what are
we going to do now. Emeka knows our
whereabouts. We need to vacate Pentagon today- today. Let’s move into a secluded apartment
where no one can trace our abode.”
After a short time, we got to the hostel and
jumped into our room and locked the doors
behind us with every bolt and keys we could find
on the door and we fervently did night vigil. We emptied our room the next early morning and
vacate the apartment for a much obtrusive
accommodation. I cared less for the location or
the ambiance of the
environment, our lives are paramount.


>>

Youthfulness is about how you live not when you were born.

-Karl LagerfeldRelated

--If u didn't kill earthworm with salt.

? If you didn't play rubber band.

? If you never bathed in the rain.

? If nobody told you about India vs Nigeria
99-1.

? If you didn't sleep on the couch and wake up on the
bed.

? If you didn't go 2 steal cashew and guava
in d
next street
and the owner's dog comes through the
backyard waiting for you to come down from the
tree.

? if u didn't throw your milk tooth on the
roof for the lizards to take it and give you
new
ones. ? If you didn't just wash your hands and
legs
instead of
bathing when going to school.

? If you didn't act film in uncompleted
building or under bed
with friends.

? If you never flew a kite.
- If you didn't use ur two legs to build houses
with
sand.

- If u didn't write ur name on paper and
insert it
into ur pen
so that no one will steal it.

- If u didn't close d fridge door really slowly to
see when d
lights went off.

- If u neva waved @ white birds expectin ur
nails
to b whiter

- If u neva heard of a ghost dat stays under mango trees
@nights

- If u didn't drive a single car Tyre with a stick
and
called it
ur car!

- If u didnt mix garri n sugar in ur pocket and eat
while
walking in the street.

- If u never did mama and papa play i.e.
cookin
grass nd sand witout fire.

- If you didn't play table soccer. with bottle
cover.....

.....then I guess ur Childhood wasn't fun!
Oya choose which one u do...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-15 19:45:42

98 Views




Mum: Akpos why did you slap Mary this morning?
Akpos: She called me an hippopotamus two years ago.
Mum: (Surprised) You just said two years ago so why slap her today?
Akpos: Because I just saw an hippopotamus yesterday.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-05 16:15:08

1070 Views



Fly in My Soup [Read it]



A diner complained, "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"His waiter replied, "That's entirely possible; our cook used to be a tailor."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-13 14:28:59

97 Views




Must Read ????



Dhoni: How Famous u r…??

Sir Jadeja : Whole world knows me.

Dhoni: Obama knows u..? Give proof.

Then, Sir & Dhoni went for Obama’s house.

Sir: stand here at the gate, i’ll take Obama in balcony nd show u.

Dhoni: ok.

Sir comes with Obama and waved Dhoni frm balcony.

Aftr sometime, Sir bahar aye

toh

dekha, Dhoni behosh pada tha,

hosh

me aane k baad Sir ne reason

ussay pucha..

Dhoni: Ek American aaya tha,

and

asked me, ‘WHO IS THAT MAN

WITH

‘Sir Jadeja’ IN BALCONY…?Related

Chicken [Read it]


An idiot decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with.

A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died.

A month later he was back at the dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died.

"But I think I know where I'm going wrong," said the idiot, "I think I'm planting them too deep."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-14 11:10:26

191 Views




Mumuni, who was in a mental hospital was being reviewed for possible release.
When asked what he would do if released, he replied, "I am going to make a slingshot and come back here and break every damn window in the place."Obviously, his release was denied.
Six months later, the board was again considering his release and again asked him the same question. His reply was the
same."I am going to make a sling shot and come back here and break every damn window in the place." Again, he was turned down.
Several months later he was complaining to a fellow patient that he could never seem to get released. The patient asked him
what he said when they interviewed him, and Mumuni told him.
The patient said, "You will never get released with answers like that. You have to tell them what they want to hear. Let me give you some advice on how to answer them when they ask you questions."
So, after considerable coaching, Mumuni felt that he was ready.
So when the board met again, they again asked him what he would do if they let him out.
But this time he was ready. Mumuni said, "I am going to get a job, find an apartment and settle down."
"Good," they said, and then what ?" He said, "I want to meet a nice girl and start dating." They agreed he was making real progress and asked, "And then what ?" "One night when we are alone in my apartment, I am going to make passionate love to my girlfriend. I am going to take her dress off, and then take her bra off and lie her down on the bed."
"Yes," they said excitedly. "Then I am going to gently remove her panties," he continued. The board members were really getting excited now and asked, "Then what are you going to do ?" He said, " I am going to take the elastic out of those panties, make myself a slingshot, come back here and break every damn window in this place!



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-11 14:24:32

1384 Views




A woman was treated typhoid positive, her doctor diagnosed and precribed to her with different types of drugs and warned this old woman not to take ordinary water including purewater.
This woman have to spend over #70,000 on bottled water every month! ten month latar mama died, her children have to take mama to lab to taste what exactly killed mama!
Fortunately, mama died of typhoid!
Please whose fault is this is it mama fault? or doctor!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-26 08:19:11

592 Views




If there is a statue of a man on a horse and the horse has both of its front feet in the air, then the man died in a battle.Related

Togo: Bastard how far?
Buka: Madman I position! How
that your drunk old man?
Togo: hahaha! Him dey... What
of your imbecile brother?
Buka: hahahaha! Fool everybody dey... You dey
house? I dey come charge
phone for your house.
Togo: Ok! No wahala, bring
money come make we drink
beer. Buka: Idiot like you. Later now! AFTER DROPPING THE CALL: Togo: That buka can be funny
at times but always a great
companion anytime.
Buka: Togo is just a reliable
friend. LESSON: Girls are always nice to
each other, but they never like
themselves...
Boys are always mean and
rude, but they will always have
each other's back. .
TRUE or FALSE?



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-10 20:12:30

610 Views




Why does doggy style become so popular among couples after 10-12 yrs of marriage?

Simply bcoz, in that position, she can read her book and he can watch TV!Related

Adanna** part 4 [Read it]



So i took my touch, put it on the table
and use it to read for one hour, by 4am i
was feeling sleepy.
.
I was all alone in a desert, no water, no food nothing at all, i was Unclad walking to
an unknown destination, i was
tasty i
need to drink something, i kept on
walking till i found a spring but before
that spring i saw a mighty hole, theres no way i can jump that, because i will
definitely fall, i look down the hole and
saw many snakes inside, big big one
and
small small ones, i wanted to turn back
but before then, i saw a white dove coming from my back, the dove flew
pass my head and went to perch on a
branch growing inside the spring, then the
dove change to someone i know.
Me: mercy?
Mercy: you have to jump the hole. Me: how can i jump it? Is too big and
too wide.
Mercy: i know you can, please you must
jump, your second name is Godsgift, and i
believe you are gift from God as
your name imply, God will guide you through, so sweetheart just try and you
will see its easy.
I look down the hole again, it was scary
very gigantic snake,
Me: am sorry i cant. I turn back then i saw
heavy fire coming (how can fire be burning on dry sand) i
ran to mercy, as i ran then i try to jump
the hole, as i was about to fall inside the
hole then i woke up shouting Jesus
and
sweating. Adanna: what is it? Me: i was having a bad dream.
Adanna: its only a dream, so relax.
Me: e look so real and very scary. Adanna:
well thank your god is not real.
She put her hand on my body and start
rubbing my hairing chest, looking directly at my me as our eye jam. She put her right
hand on my left chick,
then move me ontop her, she draw my
head closer her lips as she gave me a
sound kiss, her lips taste like lollipop and
i wish i will continue kissing her like this forever, i use my left hand to press her
Bosom as she let out a soft moan, i sat
ontop her and draw her closer to me,
making her to situp, i remove her long
sleeve shirt, then unhook her bra, i lay
her down again, i remove my shirt, then i lay ontop her and start sucking her
Bosom interchanging from the left to right,
she rub my back her with hands, i
move downward and remove her skirt,
then her pant, staring at me a well
shave pussi with hibiscus odour, i remove my shot and start licking her fine
Kitty-Cat, she open her leg wide to
give me free access, i continue sucking
while she use her hands to massage my
head, she wine her waist also, i locate
the clit, if i touch it she let a moan, so i start sucking it like ice cream, she was
wining her waist and breathing
heavily,
i placed her two legs on my shoulder and
continue sucking, she tight her legs
on my neck and almost draw my breath, then she sit, took my head closer to her
and told me to enter her. I removed
condom from under my bed,
i wore it and lay ontop her, then i insert
my dicck inside her wet pussi, very tight, i
started slowly before going faster, she was moaning slowly, guys am telling
you, for all girls wey i don dey gbog na
this girl sweet pass and she no be
virgin
oh, she even sweet pass mercy wey i
disvirgin, i continue Bleeping her like someone on a mission, or maybe i dey
mission lol, mission to satisfy my konji.
“uhhhm yeah, pls take it easy you are
going too fast” she said amidst
heavy
breathing, so i take it easy with her, then lata i raise one of her leg up and go in
again, i was stroking her slowly and i
guess she was enjoying it because she
scatter my bed, as she was about to Pour,
she hold my waist very tight
stopping me from moving as she let out a loud moan.
Then lata she make me to lie down facing
the ceiling, she lie ontop me and
start Bleeping me slowly then lata she
start moving faster, she was going so
fast that i think something is wrong somewhere, the enjoyment cloud my
judgement, she put her hands on her
head looking forward as she wine me fast,
then as i was about to release she let out a
loud shout, shattering my
bulb on the floor, then she faint ontop me. I
wokeup around 7am in the morning,
no sign of adanna, no sign of any
broken bulb, na wa oh i walk to the wall,
i switch on the light and the light on at
once, abi i dey dream? I was lost in thought. “somebody shout fire, shout
fireee,
shout firrrrreeee, we dont serve a dead
god we serve a mighty God he is the
same yersterday, he is the same today,
he is the same forever, when God say yes no man can say no, when God lift us no
man can take us down, God is on
your side, miracle is on your, favor is
your side.
.
Una dey wonder wetin dey happen, lol na my phone dey ring, i look the screen
and saw my mercy. Me: hello dear
mercy: good morning, how was your
night?
Me: good but would have been better if
you were here, how ur own? Mercy: not fine.
Me: what happen? Mercy: i had a bad
dream about you.
Me: (getting scared) what happen.
Mercy: i saw you walking alone on a
desert, you were Unclad and look tired, so you saw a spring of water and
when
you try to jump to the spring to meet me
on the other side you fell on a hole
full of snake though i tried to pull you
up but one red snake with a white tail pull you down, when i woke up i was
really scared so i started praying, since
then i have been praying and i think we
should fast about it. Me: (the same dream
with my own,
what is really going on i dont understand, perhap i need to see my
pastor) dont worry its just a dream,
dont
worry about it.
Mercy: hmmm you know my dream always
mean something. Me: yeah we will fast and pray about it,
we will see in school, let me prepare
myself.
Mercy: alright take care oh, bye love
you.
Me: love you too. Yeah, shes right, her dream always come
to pass, i remember then when she told me
that, she saw a bat die in my
compound that i should pray, the next
day my neigbour daughter died, i just
sat in bed confuse dont know what to think, does it mean that adanna is the
snake because she always hold white
something on her wrist in form of
wristwatch, but one thing is quite clear,
anytime i think of her my heart beat
fast, and talking about her lollipop lip, men that girl is too gbaski, na the type
wey i go carry go party even rihanna go
bow, i think i like her if she like make
she be lizard i must date her oh,
because with her respect is certain.
I was so lost in thought that i dont know when a test enter my phone.
“hi dear, how is your day going, i want
to thank you for yersterday night,
because that night was the best night
ever since nineteen century, stay safe.
From Adanna. Hmmmm infact i dont think am in the
mood to go to school today, my belle dey
sweet me(but in my mind am still
confuse).


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Accountancy fact:
What is the difference between Liability & Asset?
A drunk friend is liability
But…

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A drunk Girlfriend is an Asset.Related

A woman went to hospital for operation, After the
surgical operation she said ''Thank God it went
successful, at last am free' ' immediately a patient
on her left side said to her "dont be so sure about
dat bcos during my own operation the doctor
forgot his scissor in my stomach so he had to
operate on me twice".. After few seconds the
patient on the right side added "yes the doctor also
forgot his hand glove in my body and he repeated
the operation".. on hearin dis the woman became
so afraid and scared, she became very worried and
was lost in deep thought. 3mins later the doctor
came back and said "has any one seen my torch?''

.
The woman fainted and refused to wake up..



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-28 08:55:15

650 Views




The most embarrassing

moment for a Boy…

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. Jab wo apni mom ko apne frnds

ki pic dikha raha ho

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.

Aur jese hi uske”GF”ki pic

samne aye to uski mom kahe.

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.”ye Chudail si kaun hai!! :@ :p:DRelated

akpos dead [Read it]


During an English lesson, the teacher instructed his students to write a composition.

Question: Assume you are in a war, write a story on your experience?

Akpos did not write anything and kept seated. The teacher got puzzled, walked to Akpos' desk and asked him why he was not doing the exercise.

Akpos replied, "I was killed immediately at the beginning of the war."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-09 09:47:49

402 Views



come over [Read it]


BOY: Come over.                                    


GIRL: To do what?                                    


BOY: Chill                                                


GIRL: I do not "chill", because that's how you end up with "chill-dren".


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-07 14:07:06

139 Views




One Wrong Turn
Episode 16

It was a beautiful gold watch,
worth all the money spent on it.
The most expensive watch i have
ever owned cost 600 naira, it was
a birthday gift from my brother
Ighalo.
“Where is your phone? Let’s snap
some pictures” Ehis said,
stretching his hands towards me,
hoping to collect it.
” i don’t have a phone” i replied,
feeling very much embarrassed.
I was practically the only one in
my class who did not have a
phone. I had requested for one,
but my parents insisted i must
leave secondary school before
owning one.
“for real? Why? Ehis persisted
further
“my parents didn’t buy for me” i
stammered,
” which phone will you like to
buy?” Ehis asked pointing towards
the opposite section where they
sell phones.
“anyone will do”
” I know what to get you darling”
He led me to the mobile phone
section. Lots of phones were on
open display, it would be really
cool to own one of these i told
myself.
I was busy admiring one phone
after another, i hardly listened to
the conversation between Ehis and
the attendant.
He packaged one of the mobile
phones, and handed it over to
Ehis.
We walked up to a female cashier,
showed her the watch and the
mobile phone, after which she
wrote a receipt and tore it out.
Ehis brought out him wallet and
gave the cashier his atm card.
She took it from him, swiped it
across a machine and handed it
back to him.
We walked back to the car.
Hannah and Odion had not
arrived yet, so we waited patiently
for them in the car.
Ehis took my hand, and fastened
the wrist watch to it.
I looked at my hand, and smiled
sheepishly.
“its beautiful” i said in between a
gentle smile.
“just like you Ella, I love you”
Those words had a way of making
me feel weak and vulnerable, i
began to feel like a princess.
Everything seemed genuine to me.
“i love you too”, was my reply, as
i turned to avoid his gaze. I have
not said those words to anyone
before.
Ehis gently lifted my chin, and
looked straight into my eyes. I
knew that look, i knew what it
meant. I had that feeling in my
stomach again.
He drew my face closed to
himself, and leaned towards me. I
shut my eyes in anticipation.
A feeling of ecstasy enveloped me
as i felt his soft lips on mine. He
started to kiss me in his usual soft
and passionate manner.
He parted my lips with his tongue,
and inserted it in my mouth. I
s----d on it, without a care.
I felt his hands moving
underneath my shirt, towards my
b---m. I was too ecstatic and lost
to object.
I just wrapped my arms around
his neck, enjoying every minute
our encounter.
His hands grabbed my b---m
through my bra, as i let out an
audible moan. I could feel some
wetness between my legs.
This wasn’t me, i felt like a
different person. But the more
guilt i felt, the more Hot’ i
became. The wetness between my
legs increased.
The sound of Ehis’s ring tone
interrupted our activity. He broke
the kiss, and let go of me. I sat
back on my chair, still wishing we
would continue.
Ehis brought out his phone, and
answered his call.
“bros, we still dey wait o”
“ok na, quick drop am for school
o”
Ehis put his phone back in his
pocket and turned towards me
again.
“that was Odion, he and your
friend are staying a little longer
inside, they won’t be coming with
us”
“how will she get back to school?”
I asked, feeling a little worried.
“he will bring her when they are
through”
There was a little silence, i faced
the opposite direction looking
outside the window.
“so, what about us? We still have
30minutes, I’d love to show you
were i stay, can I take you there
please” Ehis turned my head
around gently.
I wanted to refuse, i knew i have
had enough for one day. But i was
too weak to say No….i simply
nodded my head in agreement. He
started the engines and drove off.
A lot of thoughts rushed through
my head, as we journeyed to his
house. I couldn’t believe this was
me. I am taking a very bold step, i
do not know how it will turn out.
With this my state of ecstasy, it
would take divine intervention to
hold myself together. I do not
want to lose my virginity just yet,
my mother may inspect again.
I resolved in my heart to refuse s-
x, but will Ehis let me off after
spending so much? I wondered
quietly.
What happened that day revealed
something else about Ehis.

>>

Confession! [Read it]


A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
“You will understand,” he said, “the seal of the confessional, can never be broken. However, I got my first impressions of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I can only hint vaguely about this, but when I came here twenty-five years ago I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had stolen a television set, and when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. Further, he told me he had embezzled money from his place of business and had an affair with his boss’s wife. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that, and I had, indeed come to, a fine parish full of understanding and loving people.”
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk.
“I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in this parish,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.”Related

Motion Sickness [Read it]


Santa and Banta are discussing the possibility of love. “I thought I was in love three times,” Santa says.
“Thought…?” Banta asks. “What do you mean?”
“Three years ago, I cared very deeply for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me,” Santa says.
“Wasn’t that love?” Banta asks.
“No, that was obsession,” Santa explains. “Then two years ago, I cared very deeply for an attractive woman who didn’t understand me.”
“Wasn’t that love?” asks Banta.
“No, that was lust,” Santa replies. “And just last year, I met a woman while I was on a cruise. She was gorgeous, intelligent, a great conversationalist and had a super sense of humor. Everywhere I followed her on that ship, I would get a very strange sensation in the pit of my stomach.”
“Well, wasn’t that love,” asks Banta.
“No. That was motion sickness!” Santa replies.Related

I was surprised when my madam’s husband came
back in the evening with new clothes that he
bought for me.
It was quite unusual and very unexpected.
Madam’s face grew long and vilified from anger
and disenchantment.
She couldn’t hide her bitterness.
She hissed, sighed, banged the door, frowned her
face and all-what-not just to register her
annoyance but the husband ignored her.
Extremely vilified, she lost her temper.
“Stupid man!” she bawled. “You’re not ashamed
of yourself? No, tell me, are you not ashamed of
yourself? Common housemaid? That’s what’s
turning your head. Because of this small girl of a
b#####d you no longer know your wife!” Madam
sparked.
“Don’t insult me,” the husband warned calmly but
sternly. “I said don’t insult me,” he repeated.
“And if I insult you what will happen?” madam
countered. “No, tell me,” she continued. “If I insult
you what will happen? IMPOTENT MAN!”
The last insult was too much for the husband to
bear.
He lounged ferociously at his wife and landed a
thunderous slap on her left cheek.
The sound of the slap jolted me and left me
staring at the couple with fear, confusion and
awe.
Even though I was partly happy that madam was
at last tasting a piece of her own cake, I was
scared of the uncertainty and the possibility of
the transferred aggression that could turn towards
me.
“Heeweeoooooo,” my madam cried out in pain
and fought back, scratching her husband all over
with her long sharp nails.
Irritated by his wife’s effrontery and aggression,
the husband continued his assault with
aggressive ferocity.
His slaps turned into blows and his wife into a
punching bag and me into a spectator.
“Oga biko ozugo,” I pleaded in ibo on my
madam’s behalf. “Oga abeg e don do,” I
continued.
The husband ignored me and the fight
continued.
“You will kill me today,” my madam cried. “You
must kill me today,” she continued. “Whether you
like it or not, you must kill me today!”
The husband continued the beating as the wife
held tenaciously to his trouser.
The children were sleeping in the master bedroom
so they didn’t hear what was going on.
At long last, Oga and wife became tired and the
fight came to an end…
————————————————————
For days madam’s face remained swollen and
she and her husband didn’t speak to each other.
Oga stopped eating madam’s food.
The gap developing between them further
strengthened my affair with the husband.
Night after night he sneaked into my room and
enjoyed my honey pie.
There were days he came back earlier than usual
when madam wasn’t around and we did it freely
all over the house.
I knew I was playing a very dangerous game but
then I was only doing all I could to survive…

Drop your comments below








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MARA episode 6 [Read it]


“And you told them not to go?” I asked
“Yes ma” she said and I slapped her again
She held her face as she wept out loudly again
“What does your mother hate most?” I asked
“Lies” she replied amidst her tears
“What did they go and do in the market?” I asked and as she wiped her tears, sniffing and reluctant to talk, I broke down into tears
“Why Taiwo? What have I done to deserve this? What have I done to deserve all these Taiwo?” I cried out the more and though she still sniffed wetly, she stopped crying
I had never cried before my children before!
Never!
She must have been shocked
I was shocked myself…I didn’t plan it.
I was just so overwhelmed by so many thoughts that the best thing for me to do was to cry.
“I try my best to give you everything needed. You are growing now and little proceeds from my business, I use to buy you fine dresses. The wrappers I have now are the ones I had been using over five years ago but I have been giving you almost all you need. You might not be comparable to all kids, but am I not trying?” I asked
It was meant to be a rhetorical question but she answered
“You are trying ma” she said
“So, why Taiwo? Why would you send your brothers to Kasuwa to beg for alms? Why?” tears ran down my face
“I am sorry mum. WAEC registration closes tomorrow and I was not able to tell you since I know you had nothing. I was crying today as you went out when James and John asked me why. I told them and the next moment they told me they were going to the market for Almajiri. I told them not to go but eventually, I allowed them to go” she confessed and my heart got swollen up.
“WAEC Registration closes tomorrow?” I asked again.
“Yes ma”
“So, your brothers volunteered to beg for alms to raise WAEC fee? How would they raise enough for both of you? How? #28,000 isn’t small o”
My head had started pounding
“Kehinde already has her own money.” She said and my eyes opened in shock
“How? Who gave her?” I asked again
“Benjamin” she replied
“Who is Benjamin?” I asked again
“Her classmate’s brother” she said again, fumbling with her wrapper.
“A boy or a girl?” I asked again, foolishly.
My head couldn’t just compute all I was hearing
“A boy ma” she replied
“Her boyfriend?” I asked again. Taiwo avoided my face and my heart dropped.
I am in serious soup!
“Answer me nah” I almost screamed
“They are just friends ma. That was what she told me” she said
I was tired of beating her
“What did she do that made him give her that much? Tell me the truth ehn, I won’t beat you” I promised as my heartburn increasing.
“Mummy,..” she was reluctant
“Just tell me” I said again.
“He met us on the way and we were crying. He said we should come and I said no. Kehinde went to meet him”
“Jesu!” I exclaimed, loudly, holding my chest in anguish
“He said he was Benjamin’s brother and Kehinde and him became friends. He said we should not cry that he would give us the money. I said no thank you and he said what about you Kehinde and she said she must go to the university, so she agreed”
She swallowed as she looked at the floor, ashamed to look into my face.
“So?” I wanted a complete story.
“Yesterday, we went to his shop”
“Where?” I cut in
“In Tammah. He sells motor parts” she explained
“Mo ti gbe” I pulled at my hair
“So?”
“He said he would touch Kehinde’s chest before he gives the money. The two chests” she said and my eyes widened
“Chest? Two chests ke? You mean breasts?” I asked and she looked down
“Answer me” I slapped her, my heart thumping hard
“Yes” she answered
“Then, he gave her the money?” I asked again
“Yes. He gave her #10,000 and said she should come back for the remaining today”
“And she has gone?” I asked and she nodded
“Then you said you didn’t know where she went to. Ah, mo ti daran o Jesu!” I scratched my head as I cried the more
She started crying too.
“Would you get out of this room this instant?” I screamed hard and she ran out hurriedly.
I fell to the ground and cried hard.
“Ah ah ah ah, ah! Jesu! Ah ah God of mercy!” I cried so hard.
I never imagined bringing up my children this way.
I knelt before my bed and cried so heavily till my eyes could produce no more tears.
››››››
“Where are the mushrooms?” I called out.
“I am coming ma” Taiwo responded and she brought in a bowlful of them.
There was no more fish in the cabinet so, these ones would suffice …I discovered them as I spread my clothes outside yesterday.
As I dropped the last piece in the already frying Egusi, someone pulled at my wrapper
James!
James the beggar!
“Take your dirty hands off my body jhur” I shouted at him
He laughed, the wide gap in front of his teeth showing glaringly.
“Mummy, many people gave us plenty monies” he said, happily.
“Leave my side now!” I screamed and the pain in my head tummy and eyes increased.
What would I do from here?
Exactly where should I go?
Who should I tell?
“Taiwo, come and make the Eba o.” I shouted
“Mummy, no garri o” she replied
“Go and buy one module from Matan Mallam o”
“Mummy, money nko?” she asked again
“Come and carry it from my head, stupid girl” I was angry and if it was not curbed, I would run mad
“Go and take money from the safe o. If she says the garri is #110, tell her its #100 your mother gave you o. if you buy anything more than #100, I will beat the hell out of you” I said as I entered my room to sleep- if I could get some!


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Teenage Love. [Read it]


**PART ONE**
CHAPTER 1…….
It was a bright saturday morning
on the 7th of september 2013.
Akinola oluwasegun was walking
along a popular street in Ibadan,
Oyo state. He was dressed in a
white T-shirt and a black pant
trouser and a black vickers shoe.
He was on his way to Loyola
College, a government owned
secondary school around Agodi
gate GRA Ibadan for his WAEC GCE
exam.
He entered into the school
compound and walked towards
the school building. Being his
first paper English Language, he
had no idea of where the
examination hall was situated.
So, he had to ask for help from
other candidates who had come
the previous days for chemistry
practicals and Commerce. He
walked up to a girl seated on the
staircase reading to ask for the
help.
“Hello, good morning.” he
greeted.
“Good morning.” she replied.
“Please, are you here for exam?”
he asked.
“Yeah.” she replied.
“Okay. Please, which way is the
examination hall.” He asked.
“I don’t know. This is my first
time here.” She answered.
(disappointed) “Okay, lets ask
others the way to the exam hall.”
He adviced.
“Okay.” She replied standing up
and dusting her skirt.
*TEN MINUTES LATER*
The invigillator walked into the
exam hall carrying a green sack
with the inscription; WEST
AFRICAN EXAMINATION COUNCIL.
No 62. He was accompanied by
five teachers of the school.
A laptop was removed and with
a thumb printing device attached
to it.
“Line up for your biometrics.”
one of the teachers barked.
After the completion of the
biometrics. The candidates were
asked to sit down according to
their numbers. The answer
booklets and the question
papers were first distributed
before the attendance was
marked. The paper lasted two
and a half hours. The paper
ended by 11:30am and they
were given 3hours break before
the commencement of the paper
2&3(objectives & the Test of
Orals respectively).
Outside the examination hall,
students were seen in group,
some in fours, in fives and so on
discussing and arguing over the
just concluded paper.
Oluwasegun(segun for short)
wast sitting alone under a big
three near the school football
pitch. He was flipping through
the pages of the WAEC English
language past question. Just then
someone tapped him from
behind. He looked up and saw
his cousin Omolayo Akinola.
He stood up and hugged her.
“What are you doing here?” he
asked.
“I came to greet my friends
writing their exam here. She
answered.
“Where is your centre?”
“Ikolaba grammar school.”she
replied.
“Most of my friends are in that
centre.”he said.
“Are you the only one here?” she
asked.
“Yes, am the only one here from
my school.”he answered.
“You must be feeling lonely
o.”she said.
“Yeah”………
The gisted for like ten minutes
before Omolayo stood up to go,
“Let me introduce you to my
friends over there.” she said
pointing to a group of 2 boys
and 4 girls gisting.
He stood up and followed her
towards the group. Immediately
they saw them approach they
stopped talking.
“Where have you been? One of
her friends jummy asked
Omolayo suspiciously.
Ignoring her question. “Meet my
cousin, Segun. Segun meet my
friends.” she introduced.
“Hi guys.” he greeted.
“Hi.” They chorused.
They all hung around till it was
1:30pm, 30minutes before the
next paper.
“Bro, i think we should get going
so, we won’t be late.” Omolayo
said.
“Alright, bye. Segun answered.
Omolayo left with four of her
friends remaining two who were
also in segun’s centre. Among
which was Jummy.
–to be continued–


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9ja police [Read it]


Police don upgrade ooh, dis na d call center number 112... there was a robbery in my neighbours houz n i called them.. next tin i heard was, welcome to Nigeria police emergency center.. for English press 1, for igbo press 2, for Yoruba press 3, den i press 1... den another voice came up.... for car accident press 1, for armed robbery press 2, for boko haram pls hang up... den i press 2, another voice came up... if they're wit knives press 1, pistols press 2, AK47 press 3, machine guns press 4, bomb press 5, all of da above press 6... den I saw they were wit all of them den i press 6....another voice came up saying.. hmmmm! My brother, if ur brother or sister dey police u go gree mey dem cum? Thunder fire u there n dey hang up....


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-25 20:18:50

443 Views





Mike and Rob were laying tile on a roof when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked down their ladder. "I have an idea," said Mike. "We'll throw you down, and then you can pick up the ladder.""What, do you think I'm stupid?" Rob replied." I have an idea. I'll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down on the beam of light.""What, do you think I'm stupid?" Mike answers. "You'll just turn off the flashlight when I'm halfway there."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-13 14:05:11

96 Views




Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in Maine, I was stopped by a state trooper in New York for exceeding the speed limit.Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, I gave him a small bag of my grandmother’s delicious chocolate-chip cookies and proceeded on my way.A short time later, I was stopped by another trooper.“What have I done?” I asked.“Nothing,” the trooper said, smiling. “I heard you were passing out great chocolate-chip cookies.”Related

Muriel: son
Luke: mom;please start talking,what is going on here?
Muriel: is not a big deed
Luke: what do you mean is not a big deed?why is Monica and Yemi in your house?
Muriel: is simple;i want you to pick a bride from them
Luke: mom you are joking right?
Muriel: i don't joke with important things in my life and among the most important thing in my life is you. that is why i want to help you make your choice,in order for you to do so they will contest for your love
Luke: mom;i don't think you know what you are doing?i am not a baby that you tell what to do. i am a grown man,so please stop this madness
Muriel: is not like i am pleading with you,i have made my decision this girls will contest for your love and at the end of the day you will marry the best one among them and this contest will last for six months;which means it end on my anniversary
Luke: mom;i am not interested
Muriel: your opinion is not needed so deal with it. mark you;you have to be in this house for those period
Luke: mom;i am not coming
Muriel: then get ready to see me in your hospital everyday
Luke: mom
Muriel: the other girl will join us by tomorrow. have a nice day
Luke: mom(she walked away)what kind of stupid ideal is this

Jude: baby(on phone)
Loveth: yes;are you back
Jude: yes;i am at your door already
Loveth: alright;come on in(she open the door)welcome back;so how was your trip?
Jude: it was cool;i was hoping to get the contract because that is close to a billion deed
Loveth: what will you be doing with such a huge amount?
Jude: a lot;i will be able to complete my shoe factory building and commerce work immediately and complete my mansion at COMFORT CITY and the one at my own town cause i want to open a cinema there,that will be fetching me more money and then buy myself a new car;baby you need to see this new modern car
Loveth: do you really need all this things
Jude: of cause;i want my family to be happy
Loveth: but money doesn't bring happiness
Jude: if money doesn't then what bring happiness?
Loveth: Love;once you have love everything will be perfect
Jude: it is stupid people that think about love
Loveth: what?
Jude: of cause;women don't eat love but eat money and all women are money conscious
Loveth: not all women are money conscious
Jude: just don't say that because no woman escaped it(she stared at him)what?i am saying the fact because you can't show me any woman that is not money conscious
Loveth: i can(he stared at her)
Jude: please;i hope you are not trying to tell me you are not because i know you are
Loveth: what?(she open her eyes to the extreme)
Jude: yes;why are you staring?am i lying?
Loveth: no you are not(she stood to leave)
Jude: where are you going to?
Loveth: to get you what to eat
Jude: alright;but you would had at least tell me so
Loveth: sorry about that
Jude: better(she turned and face him)what?
Loveth: is there something you where suppose to tell me?
Jude: no
Loveth: alright;i go ahead(text message enter her phone from Luke answering her about her health)
Jude: Loveth
Loveth: yes
Jude: please;i don't think i will want to eat any more
Loveth: why?
Jude: nothing;why don't you get a maid instead of you doing the house chores?
Loveth: i like it that way
Jude: suite your poor life
Loveth: what did you say?
Jude: nothing
Loveth: excuse(she turned to leave and she hit her leg)oh my God(she screamed)
Jude: are you blind?and is it that little thing that is making you screamed?(she said nothing)Loveth,i think i have to go i have to go to the site
Loveth: alright;no problem(he stood to leave)don't you think you want to asked me something or tell me something?
Jude: no;none that i remember
Loveth: really?
Jude: i can't;just remind me
Loveth: i told you....
Jude: oh! i bought you a gold wristwatch
Loveth: thank you very much but....(phone ringing)
Jude: i got to go;see you latter(exit Jude)
Loveth: this is not what i want(she put it on the table)he cant even asked me about my health,i can't believe this(curtain)



Joan: hi;you are worried again?
Luke: why wouldn't i?everything is frustrating
Joan: is it she again?your girlfriend?
Luke: no;i told you,'i do not have a girlfriend' just maybe if i have one i wouldn't be in this mess
Joan: i don't get you?
Luke: what don't you get my mom is trying to impose some girls on me by deceiving them into some kind of stupid contest,all for my suppose love(she laughed)what is funny?
Joan: there is nothing wrong in that
Luke: you think so?
Joan: yes;there is nothing bad there
Luke: you are not in my shoe. how can i be the subject of contention?
Joan: is not that bad as you think it;just let the best girl win
Luke: you are so unbelievable
Joan: is nothing;i am assuredly one of the contestant
Luke: Jesus
Joan: why are you screaming?
Luke: you?you of all people will stood so low as to want to be involve in such a stupid act?
Joan: is just a way of showing i love you
Luke: i cant just believe it(enter Alex)Alex
Alex: hi Joan
Luke: you two know each other?
Alex: not really;is just when your mom planned this contest
Luke: hold on;you know about this too?
Alex: of cause
Luke: even you Alex?i really don't have friends
Alex: is not what you think. your mom was just trying to help you
Luke: by making me look like a fool?go on tell me?
Alex: just listen to your mom for once,she want the best for you
Luke: really?by making me a moron?for crying out loud i am a man;i am no longer that five years old boy she make decision for;i am twenty eight
Alex: i know but please...
Luke: just stop it;i want to be left alone
Alex: Luke;hold on
Luke: i said i want to be left alone(he screamed)
Alex: fine
Joan: Luke...
Luke: not a word;out(they both left)i hate it;i just hate myself more(curtain)

Danny: Darling;surprise(he brought out a Car key)
Darling: what is this?
Danny: is car key of your new car
Darling: why are you buying me a new car?
Danny: the thing is that;the mechanic i gave your car to repair lost it and he said he is going to pay for it
Darling: definitely;because he cant just go just like that
Danny: yes;so i decided to buy you a new one
Darling: but you wouldn't have done that?
Danny: i just felt sorry for my beautiful wife jumping from one cab to another and i saw the dismay in your eyes when you think of going to club without a car
Darling: oh my husband is so sweet and caring too(she peck him and collect the car keys)come on lets ride together
Danny: alright(curtain)


Loveth: where in God's name is this boy?(he try calling him)this is one thing i hate;to wait for someone(phone ringing)hello
Jude: hi
Loveth: i am here already;where are you?
Jude: something just come up;so i don't think we can make it today
Loveth: not again
Jude: please;bear with me;i promise i will make it up to you
Loveth: alright bye
Jude: take care(she end the call and rest her head on the table)
Loveth: must he always work?(enter Luke)from one business meeting to another
;he is just like my dad
Luke: can i sit miss?
Loveth: sit if you want to(her head still facing down)
Luke: thank you;are you okay
Loveth: yes;i am fine(he touch her hand)will you stop....(she rise her head)you?superman(he laughed)are you stocking me?
Luke: no i am not;but if you want i can(she laughed)
Loveth: how did you find me?
Luke: this happen to be my best resting place to relax
Loveth: alright
Luke: how is your health?
Loveth: better;and you
Luke: i am fine
Loveth: you don't look fine
Luke: so you think(she stared at him)what?
Loveth: i was just wondering why do men lie?if you are worried,is fine;no one will hold it against you because you are a man but don't blame me if you died of high blood pressure(he laughed)
Luke: i won't blame you and i am not dying yet
Loveth: better;so what is it?
Luke: nothing
Loveth: go on tell me
Luke: i said nothing
Loveth: no need asking i already know
Luke: what?
Loveth: yes;your mom had given you a period of time to get married maybe on one of her special day like her birth date or her marriage anniversary or the day she got engaged by your dad
Luke: who told you?
Loveth: my mom
Luke: how did your mom knows about it?is she my mom's friend?
Loveth: i don't know but that is what she told me(he laughed very loud)what is funny?
Luke: you are crazy?(he continued laughing)i was thinking that you were assuredly correct;i don't know you were saying something else
Loveth: yes,i was talking about myself but it seems that it same with you
Luke: sort of
Loveth: so does it mean your mom want you to get married on any of those special day
Luke: yes;get engage on her marriage anniversary and get married after then
Loveth: yours is better;at least she is not picking a bride for you
Luke: this is worse;she is having a contest for me
Loveth: is still better than mine;at least the best girl wins
Luke: you are crazy
Loveth: i am not;i am happy for you;you will be given the privilege to make your choice
Luke: i know all of them already and my choice is not there
Loveth: don't be ridiculous just open your eyes you will see that your perfect match is just right there. you are going to enjoy it
Luke: i am not
Loveth: i wish i could be there?
Luke: to contest for my love?
Loveth: never(she hit him with her bag)
Luke: hey;that hurt
Loveth: sorry but you deserve it,so when will the contest began?
Luke: tomorrow
Loveth: alright;just keep me up dated
Luke: do you gossip?
Loveth: yes
Luke: what?
Loveth: hmm...but with my friends and you are now my friend;so i can gossip with you
Luke: i am not a lady so i don't gossip
Loveth: don't worry you will soon get used to it as far as you are my friend
Luke: never
Loveth: you wish;there is no harm in gossiping about no one else but yourselves
Luke: alright;why are you here?
Loveth: i was suppose to meet up with my fiance but he didn't show up
Luke: why?
Loveth: he has a business meeting
Luke: sorry about that
Loveth: is okay;thanks once again;i got to go(she stood to leave)
Luke: am i your friend?
Loveth: of cause;you are;that is why i am advising you to go ahead with the contest and find yourself a perfect match
Luke: that is not what i am talking about?
Loveth: oh!thank you for the other day
Luke: you are not getting me?
Loveth: what?
Luke: just forget it
Loveth: come on tell me
Luke: is nothing;i will just go ahead
Loveth: alright take care(she walked away)
LUKE: she called me her friend and she doesn't even care what my name is?she is driving me crazy(he hit the table and a girl stared at her)sorry




see more





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Akpors was sitting quietly in the garden after church one Sunday, he was looking very troubled and seemed to be thinking hard. Akpors wife noticed his behavior and got concerned, so she decided to ask him;
“Hey darling, why are you sitting so quietly in the garden? What is it that is bothering you?”
Akpors replied, “I’m still thinking about what the pastor said. It’s making me uncomfortable.”
Wife: What is it?”
Akpors: The pastor confessed to me that he has slept with all married and single women in the
church except one, he refused to say her name but he insisted she was the only woman who refused to sleep with him. I’m just wondering who that is, I’m hoping it’s y…..(wife cuts in before he finishes)
Wife: “Ehnnnn, it must be that stupid Mrs John of a woman, she is always forming superiority in the women’s meetings, apparently she thinks she’s better than everyone!”Akpors fainted!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-10 07:16:20

322 Views




Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing.

Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage
certificate for an hour."

Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-04 19:54:11

712 Views




A gloomy day it is as going for lectures is the last thing on my mind. My body aches
severely, not to what you are thinking of (Amebo). I sit on my couch and watch Channel
O on the TV staring at the dance moves these Artist are creating these days; some calls it
Azonto and some have refined it to something else called Alingo.
My Azonto dance moves are still a little bit rusty as I am still learning it religiously from Shantel until this new release ‘Alingo’. How many do they want us to learn?
Askaline is out for lectures so I sent a text message to Shantel to pass by to check on me.
Briefly after, I get a knock on my door which I know it is Shantel as she has a strange way
of knocking my door.
“Come in” I shout.
“Hey girlfriend, how are you doing?” Shantel looking too happy “I don’t look too good” I say with a low voice.
“Yea I can see” She quickly examines me, asking questions trying to diagnose my
sickness.
“When did you become a Doctor?” I tease
“Girlfriend, I need to probe further to ascertain your cause of illness and administer the
right drug for you” We both laugh gaily. Just an hour ago, I couldn’t move any muscle but Shantel sense of
humor cheers me up. She goes into the kitchen to make a hot chocolate well served with
biscuits on a tray and places it beside me and she gently raises my head onto a pillow.
She tries feeding me tea. I take a sip and scream.
“Shantel, haba! This is rather too hot”
We continue in our banter and I tell her about Brian; my new ‘catch fish’. I narrate the whole scenario as Shantel even wishes I can rewind the date and fix her into the scene,
she wants explicit detail.
Our banter continues and we forget someone is behind the door for minutes. I alert
Shantel to check on the person knocking the door. When she did, it is Brian with a
handful of gift. She welcomes him and usher him to a seat.
“Wow, you must be Brian” Shantel speak. “Yes I am” Brian replies.
“I am called Shantel and a very close friend to Merissa. You are welcome!” Shantel shakes
his hands.
“Thank you Shantel. You such a wonderful friend”
“Nah! It really nothing to watch over a friend, can I hold the gift for you?”
“Oh! Okay, here you go. It’s a hamper for Merissa” “Black Secret, wow… Merissa, I am taking some of these”
“Oh Shantel, don’t embarrass me in front of my guest” I snarl. “I am truly sorry Brian”
“No worries, how are you doing?” Brian tries to check my temperature by placing his
hands on my temple.
“I am not feeling too good, my head aches severely and my body is weak”
“Have you taken any drugs?” Brian asks looking worried. “Yes I did, some first aid hoping to suppress the pain I’m going through. Thanks for the
gift anyways”
“You welcome my dear.”
Shantel teases me. “You know Brian, she is really not sick. All she needs is a hot kiss
from you to send her nerves back kicking and active once again”
I take the teddy bear besides me and throw it at her, she quickly ducks and ran out of the room. I am left alone with this stranger who seems to be so ‘nicey’. Brian tries his best to
make me enjoy his conversation and he says he is not through with the surprise that he
would like to take me out on a date.
I manage to pull myself together and make myself into the shower room to cleanse
myself. I finally come out looking a bit strong and prepare myself to be pampered by
Brian. We set off and drive to Chinese Han Palace.


>>

AY $ APKORS [Read it]


American man walked into a
restaurant
in London. As soon as he entered, he
noticed an African man sitting in the
corner.
So he walked over to the counter, removed
his wallet and shouted, "Waiter! I am
buying
food for everyone in this restaurant,
except
that black African guy over there!" So the
waiter collected the money from
the
man and began serving free food to
everyone in the restaurant, except the
African. However,insteadof becoming
upset, the African simply looked up at the
American
and shouted, "Thank you!" That
infuriated
the man. So once again, the American
took out his wallet and shouted, "Waiter! This
time I am buying bottles of wine and
additional food for everyone in this bar,
except for that African sitting in the
corner
over there!" So the waiter collected the money
from the man and began serving
free food and wine to everyone in the bar
except the African.
When the waiter finished serving the
food
and drinks, once again, instead of becoming
angry, the African simply smiled at the
American man and shouted, "Thank you!"
That made the American man furious. So
he
leaned over on the counter and said to the
waiter, "What is wrong with that African
man? I have bought food and drinks for
everyone in this bar except for him, but
instead of becoming angry, he just sits
there and smiles at me and shouts 'Thank you.'
Is
he mad" The waiter smiled at the
American and said, "No, he is not mad.
He is
the OWNER of this restaurant." May your
enemies work unknowingly in
your favour........



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-05 13:00:53

443 Views




One day a teacher asked akpos"assuming you are in the jungle and a lion is about to eat you,what will you do?akpos answered"i will stop assuming"the teacher fainted.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-06 17:11:42

513 Views




Theres no different btwn all the girl, they
are jst the same in all aspect.
.
Their dressinq
their thinkinq
their talkinq their behaviour
All girls are the same, the only different is
that some of them have strong body
odour... Lols


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-05 06:28:53

446 Views



Joke by Dindy [Read it]


JOKE BY DINDY
Boy:please can I see your pix?
Girl:kk
.
.
Picture sent??
.
.
Picture received??
.
.
Boy:wow you look beautiful....you look so 24....how old are you?
Girl:I am 18
Boy:huh?.....i said your age not your junior sister's age.........lol
#DINDY WROTE THIS=> facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-08-30 21:20:43

413 Views




SPECIALLY MESSAGE FOR GIRLS..!!

Instead of finding the right man,

concentrate on becoming a right

woman. ????Related

A fat lady (To a health expert): "Give me some advice that can reduce my fatness."

Health expert: "Okay. You must move your head to the right and the left at a particular time."
Fat lady: "At which particular time?"

Health expert: "Whenever anybody asks you to eat."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-22 18:36:54

506 Views



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