Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:

Real life tori [Read it]


TELEPHONE CONVERSATION
BETWEEN LADIES: MARY: Hello luv
SARAH: Hi babe, how are you today?
MARY: Am fine dear, I'v missed u a lot
SARAH: Me too
MARY: I'm calling just to inform you dat I'll
pay u a visit this afternoon
SARAH: Okay my dear, it'll b a great
pleasure. Will be
expecting u sweety.
AFTER DROPPING THE CALL
Mary: I'm going to visit that dirty girl again Sarah:
this witch is coming here again, she
thinks I'll buy
her drink with my money again, she must
be joking.
TELEPHONE CONVERSATION BETWEEN GUYS
John: Bastard how far?
Francis: mad man I am fine, how ur
drunkard father?
John: my papa dey.how is your extra large
mum? Francis: you are a fool O. How far, are you
at home? I dey
come charge my phone
John: okay, no wahala, bring money come
make we drink
beer O. Francis: idiot like u, later na.
AFTER DROPPING THE CALL
John: this Francis can be very funny at
times but always a
great companion
Francis: john is such a reliable friend. My own
paddy CONCLUSION: girls are always nice to each
other but they
never like themselves
Guys are always mean and rude but they
will always have
each others back

True or False?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-21 15:31:03

240 Views




Any sex outside of the marriage bond between a man and a woman is violating God’s law.

Jerry FalwellRelated

“Bode, this is Rahman my boyfriend, this are my guys Rahman, Soji and Rukky”..good evening i greeted them, the guy started the car and started heading towards tanke junction until we got to a street not so far from Tanke junction, we saw so many cars parked outside, i asked Aminat silently on our way going where we are going to but she didn’t tell me, the only thing she said was that i shouldn’t worry, in her response “Today is Friday, and big boys don’t just sleep at home on a night like this”.
We parked our car somewhere and i came out of the car Aminat was putting on a black jalamia when i first saw her but when we got down, she pull off the jalamia, drop it inside the car, it was until then i saw what she was putting on, a bump short and armless top, the other lady too was putting on almost the same thing, the guy on it own put on a jean and TM shirt with three chains on his neck. We entered the place, there were two huge guys by the entrance, they scanned us before allowing us in.
As we opened the door to enter, that was when i realized that where we came to was a night club, music was blasting here and there, she whispered to my ear that we came there to enjoy ourselves and i shouldn’t behave like a novice, she said i should fill among as i will be rolling with some of the biggest boys in town there.
Bode was in front while we follow him inside, he led us to upstairs and there were people in that upstairs too but there was a room which Bode led us to, in there, the light was a bit darker, music was blasting too. Aminat held my hand as Bode quickly sighted some of his guys that were already there in one secluded corner of the big room, they were two in numbers with individual of them with his babe, Aminat greeted the babes and it was like she knows one of them personally, it was there i heard them refer to her as Ammy…He greeted them and they greeted me too, they offered me sit and within twinkle of an eye, they brought something in a bottle with light on it inside a bucket, there was another glass which ice block was inside. It was two of the bucket they dropped in front of us.
Bode opened the drink and shared to individual of our cup, Amina was just looking at my face as she sat on my lap, i was just starring at my drink as dey were all drinking “baba you no dey drink? Abeg take something ooo..if you are not okay with this, we fit order for another thing, don’t be scared, the bill is on me bro. Your girlfriend sure gan ooo, even though she is my sister, she sure pass anything for this world”. I started thinking, sister ke? Is Bode Aminat senior brother.
Aminat was holding her own drink on my lap, she took mine and put it in my mouth, i remembered her statement that i will be among big boys that i shouldn’t embarrass myself, as i don’t want to embarrass her either, i had to drink it from her mouth, the thing tasted awkward in the first place but after the first, second and third sip, i got use to the taste. After like two hours there, it was around to one, there were some girls that came on somewhere that look like a stage which they started dancing on with only pant and bra on.
I couldn’t believe i was at that kind of environment at that particular time, initially i thought we will be going home latest before 12am. When those ladies came to the podium, the channel of the 3 TV on the wall was switched to another channel and what i saw was amazing, they were showing porn on the station. Bode and one of the guy with their girlfriend excuse themselves from where we sat one after the other, my eyes was still glued to the TV when Aminat called my attention to one of the girl on the podium that was already down beside a guy and his girlfriend, the girl knelt in front of the guy and what i saw was as if she was sucking his deek while his babe was sucking something from a pipe

>>

She: Have a good day..!



Me: No thank u I like Parle G more..! ?



*Blocked* =))

*forever alone*Related

???? : ?????? ????? ???? ???? ?????? ??? ??..
???? ???? ?? ?????? ??? , ???? ???? ?? !????
.
.
.
???? ??????? : ?????? ?? ??? ??? ?? ?? ,???? ?????? ?? ???? ????? ?????? !. ???? ???? ???? ????Related

STUPID TEACHER [Read it]


Akpors Ask His Chemistry Teacher,if U Mix Omo With Soap What Will U Get,the Teacher Reply What A Stupid Question And A Stupid Boy,everyone Know That It Will Foam Then Akpors Sat Down With A Low Voice He Say what A Stupid Teacher How Will Omo And Soad Foam Without Water


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-20 20:06:10

722 Views




Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in Maine, I was stopped by a state trooper in New York for exceeding the speed limit.Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, I gave him a small bag of my grandmother’s delicious chocolate-chip cookies and proceeded on my way.A short time later, I was stopped by another trooper.“What have I done?” I asked.“Nothing,” the trooper said, smiling. “I heard you were passing out great chocolate-chip cookies.”Related

A sexy and beautiful lady was standing by the road side waiting for taxi.
Akpos saw her and got highly attracted and decided to try his luck.
He walked up to her and says "Hello! Angel, you look so beautiful"
"Thanks, am flattered" replied the girl.
"I saw you and fell in love with you; please can you be my girlfriend"
"You see, am tired of fake love from you guys" says the girl.
Akpos looked into her eyes and say "Baby i will do anything to prove to you that i truly love you"
"Are you sure?" asked the girl
Akpos nod his head "Yes baby"
"Ok i want you to kneel down here, close your two eyes and tell me you love me 10 times with a loud voice."
Akpos was shocked and he said to himself "Anyway let me just do it but when i eat that thing under her skirt, i go show her pepper"
He knelt down, closes his eyes and started shouting "I LOVE U".
When his done, he opened his eyes and couldn`t see the girl again.
Fears grip him. He then turned his back and saw a mad woman removing her cloths
Akpos shouted "O My God!". He started running for his life.
The mad woman ran after him shouting "I LOVE U TOO!"
"Brother! Brother! Wake up, you had pee on the bed" says his younger brother
Akpos jumped up and said "Thank God it was a dream"




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-01 22:41:21

35430 Views




AKPORS: I don’t like my
maths teacher.
MUM: Why?
AKPORS: He is confused
everyday!
MUM: How?
AKPORS: The day before
yesterday, he said 5 + 4 = 9,
yesterday he said 3 + 6 = 9 and today he said 2 + 7 = 9
MUM: Can you imagine… I told your dad not to take you to
that school!
HAHA!



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-15 19:00:39

449 Views




A man walking
along a California
beach was deep
in prayer.
Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a
booming voice, the Lord said,
"Because you have TRIED to be
faithful to me in all ways, I will
grant you one wish."
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime
I want."The Lord said, "Your
request is very materialistic. Think
of the enormous challenges for
that kind of undertaking. The
supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The
concrete and steel it would take! It
will nearly exhaust several natural
resources. I can do it, but it is
hard for me to justify your desire
for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something
that would honor and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a
long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I
wish that I could understand my
wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when
she gives me the silent treatment,
why she cries, what she means
when she says ‘nothing's wrong,’
and how I can make a woman
truly happy." The Lord replied, "You want two
lanes or four on that bridge?"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-31 23:33:34

397 Views




Bisi peeped again at the lady standing in the compound through the window.She was in no way familiar.Bisi had seen her walk bodly into the compound not long ago.

"Bisi,Kilode? You have been peeping out through that window for sometime now"Her mother shocked her,coming closer to see what she was peeping at.
Bisi had gasped,jumping back ,out from the window side,facing her mother.

"Iya mi.You startled me"She said with a pouted lips,making a face.

"Leave the road jare,let me see something"Her mother murmured out,ignoring her complain and looked out through the window to have a view too.

"Who is she?"She asked,still observing the lady in a black suit with a dark lense covering her eyes and a red handbag in her hand.Her red high-heeled shoe seem to make her taller.

"I don't know o.She just entered the compound"Bisi explained.

"She is not a ghost.She is a visitor.Go and open the door for her,lets know who she is and what she wants"

Bisi looked at her mother vaguely and made for the visitor boldly,like a child whose father sent to steal.Such a child they say,breaks the door with his feet.

The lady smiled as she saw the door open.She wiped the sweat off her face with a little white handky which she produced from her handbag.Bisi closed the door behind her.

"Goodday.Are you looking for anybody?"Bisi asked the lady who removed the glasses from her eyes,holding it with her left hand.

"Actually,i came looking for you"She said,smiling,stretching forth her right hand for a handshake,"I'm mrs.Johnson Eze"

Bisi shook her hand,capturing her face with her eyes and imagining if they have met before.


The lady sat on the plastic chair provided for her in the sitting room,looking around in keen observation.She had told Bisi's mother she wanted to have a little talk with her daughter.The trouble-less woman left them alone,hiding somewhere close, eavesdropping.

"I am mrs.Johnsom Eze.I am a banker",she opened up,getting nods of agreement from the anxious looking Bisi,"I learnt Sonia is your friend.She is the main reason why i am here"

"I hope all is well?"Bisi asked.Worry lines etched on her forehead.It's been quite long since she heard last from Sonia.

"I am her account manager.The reason why i came looking for you is because i haven't been able to contact her.She won 5 million naira in the save and win promo from our bank..."

"5 million naira! Oluwa jesu"Bisi exclaimed,covering her mouth with her palms.

"Yes.5 million naira and the bank wants her to come and sign some documents within 7 days before redeeming the money or she lose everything.I have been looking for her but she's nowhere to be found.The house she lives with her mother has been on lock for days.I don't know if she travelled with her mother.I haven't been able to reach her with the phone number she gave to me and today is the 5th day.
Do you know where i can find her? These are some papers i need her to sign for me"She made to open her bag to bring out some papers but unfortunately,the bag turned upside down,letting everything in it fall on the floor.She bent down,carefully picking up everything.At last she presented few papers to Bisi.
"She needs to sign these"

Bisi nodded in excitement.Wishing she could just fly wings and get Sonia to sign them immediately,so as not to miss the 5 million.That's a huge amount one should never miss,she thought.

"I haven't seen her too o.But there is a place she stays.She works as a househelp there.I will go and check on her"Bisi volunteered.

"She isn't there.Dont you know any other place she could be? I thought she is your friend.Just help me out.The bank will reward me too when she receives the money.If you help me,i will give you 500,000 naira"

"Five hundred thouzon naira!"Bisi exclaimed,not believing her ears.

The lady noddded and gave her a paper containing her 11digits mobile number.

"Call me as soon as you sight her.Don't even let her know about it.I have to get going"She said, standing up.

"I will do just that"Bisi assured her as they shook hands again.

Bisi watched her walk magnificiently out of the compound.

"Bisi.Who told her Sonia is your friend?"Her mother asked coming out of her hiding.

"Iya mi,you are asking me as if i am a diviner.I don't know ni.Five hundred thouzon.Iya mi,we are rich"Bisi chanted.

Her mother's eyes caught the attention of something.It was under the chair where Mrs.Johnson sat.It was a laminated card.She went there without wasting any time and picked it up.

"Iya mi,what is it?"Bisi asked coming to view the card as her mother's face changed after seeing what was on it.

"This is her voters card and she just got it few months ago.She could be lying..."

Bisi collected it from her and saw the passport on it.It was no doubt the lady that just left but Mrs.Johnson Eze was not written anywhere on it.There was nothing like banker as occupation on it.Miss EBERE Ezibe was the name on it.
She turned to face her mother.

"I sense trouble"Her mother interjected.

To be continued....

Please don't deny me your comments, it motivates me.

>>

“Please do me a favor by leaving my apartment right now, right this minute” i said without turning to look at his facial expression. ” Hagan there is an explanation to this. The reason..” he began to rattle his lies. ” don’t you dare challenge me! Leave my apartment now!” i finally turned. He was stunned when he saw my face soaked with tears of pain. He couldn’t talk. He was just there. He was just standing, as if he was looking at a ghost. ” i hate you with all the love i have inside me! Park your belongings and go to your so called family. Oh, and one more thing, there wealthy girls on campus that you can also play, i can introduce to you since you are interested in such things” i by passed him and left him standing like a fool. ” Hagan i cant leave you, Mina i love you” he pleaded, following my steps to the hall. “aw so you can call me Mina right? Just 5 minutes, if you are not out of here? The feelings you claim you have for me will be dried up. Trust me” and all these while, the river of tears was still flowing.
All of a sudden the door got open with a force. My dad! What? What is he doing here. ” where is that good for nothing?” he yelled out his voice. My dad was having a gun in his hand. My GOD, only if i knew what would have happened. I would have buried my face in something to prevent my father from seeing my tears. But i didn’t know, i didn’t know my tears could cause any harm. ” what!” my dad exclaimed when he sighted my face. Then he looked at him as well. ” dad please don’t do anything he is leaving now, please dad.” i pleaded but he wouldn’t listen. One thing my dad hated was to see me cry. “you dare make my princess weep?” he said with a blazing eyes, facing the engineer. He raised the gun, my father was about to shoot the man i love. I couldn’t stand seeing the engineer dead so i blocked my fathers view. “dad please don’t do this please” i moved closer to father. ” dad please drop the gun” i pleaded. ” will you get out of my sight? Unless you want to lay cold for him” my father threatened with all seriousness. “no please don’t hurt her” the engineer also moved closer to separate me from my father. “sir please drop the gun” he tried to reason with my father. He was now between my father and i, is he crazy? I am trying to save his demn life and now he is trying to play the hero. I don’t know how it happened but i saw the engineer struggling with my father over the gun. It happen so fast that i cant give an account of it.
“please stock this!” i begged them, i am a woman and i couldn’t do more. ” Hagan move back!” the engineer shouted. I reluctantly obeyed as i watched them struggle with the gun. Both of them had access to the gun. I couldn’t stop crying. I didn’t want anything to happen to any of them and both of them had access to the gun. My mistake, i should have called for help else where, what was i even thinking? BOOM! A shot came in. ” oh my GOD, oh my GOD..” my heart began racing as both men stood still. ” no, no, no, sir.. Sir” i heard the engineer speak as i saw my father lying on his chest, straight on the ground. “you killed my father, you killed my father” i began to wail as my voice faded in my ears. “no it was an accident, Mina it was believe me please” i heard him speaking. But don’t remember what happened next since i fell unconscious. I woke up and saw myself in the hospital, my mother was with me in tears. ” my dad, mum where is Mr Hagan” i stood up quickly from the bed. My mother was saying nothing. She wasn’t talking. “mum?” “who killed your father?” she asked with so much grief. Yes, that was how i lost my father, that was how Mr Hagan died. And ever since i never set eyes on the engineer. But i still loved him with all the hatred you can think of. He was out of my life now and mother and i couldn’t forgive him for what he did. Alex and Hanson became my friends now, i mean real friends. ” don’t worry my dear, i am here for you” Alex embraced me after my fathers burial. My graduation was two months away and i needed to concentrate on my academics now.
So that is how i began my new life without my father and the engineer. As for my mother, she couldn’t resist her revenge against the engineer for taking what she loved most from her.

>>

Train and Bull [Read it]


A man asks a farmer near a field ''sorry sir, would you mind if i crossed your field instead of going around it?.
You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.''
The farmer say, ''sure, go right ahead, and if my bull sees you, you'll even catch the 4:11 one."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-10 15:54:17

248 Views



girls sha.... [Read it]


what will you do if you are the girl?







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-02-28 06:45:37

490 Views



Bad Memory [Read it]


AKPOS: My Memory is so bad!
Chibuzo: How bad is it?
AKPOS: How bad is what?




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-27 13:53:39

153 Views



two lovers [Read it]


Boy: Baby! how close are you now?
Girl: Am not coming again today!
Boy: "why?"
Girl: just realized that my cloths are dirty.
Boy: hmmm so you are such a dirty girl. It's over between us
Girl: come on baby, is not that all my cloths are dirty.
Boy: Anyway, am just joking. so should i expect you.
Girl: There you go again, i can't make it today.
Boy: What again?
Girl: Am watching an interesting season movie here
Boy: Oh! so film is now more important than me. ITS OVER!!
Girl: Lol! I know you are joking.
Door opened
Boy: Thats my baby.

HAHAHAHAHA
Happy Weekend



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-12 13:36:12

707 Views



Fish haters [Read it]


What day of d week does fish hate? fri...........day


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-12 21:06:51

621 Views



Advice [Read it]


16 THINGS WOMEN SHOULD NEVER EVER DO.
1. Do not wear a vest or sleeveless top without shaving your armpits or without a bra underneath.
2. Do not leave chipped nail polish to wear off on its own, there's a reason why they sell nail polish remover.
3. If you can't afford good quality weaves, don't bother.
4. Do not do artificial nails that make you look like a drag queen, simple is always sexy.
5. See-through leggings or a top used as a dress when you are out in public is a hell-to-the-no!
6. Never do things for a man with a hope of getting something in return, expectations are dangerous. Do it because you simply want to.
7. Never stalk the man that left you for the other woman.
8. Do not share your best friend's personal life with every Tom, Dick and Harry.
9. Never dish out your entire family drama on a first date. The guy just wants to know about you.
10. Stop obsessing over your body. It's good to eat healthy and work out but leave it at that.
11. Never over-accessorize. Stop looking like a Christmas tree.
12. Never leave home without lip gloss, your phone and most of all, your dignity.
13. Never leave your used sanitary towel in the toilet for the next person to see. Women, please!
14. Never wear very high heels if you can't do the Naomi Campbell walk. You look like a drunk grasshopper.
15. Never wear short skirts and low cut tops when off to an interview. You will create the wrong impression.
16. And finally, 'Never wish to be like any other woman. There are others out there envying you for who you are.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-15 02:08:27

411 Views



Words of Wisdom [Read it]


Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater.If you give her a sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.So, if you give her any aggravation, be ready to receive a ton of stuff in return.Related

2 bacho ki maa tisri baar shadi kar rahi thi.,

.







Fero k wakt uska chota bacha Pappu rone laga,











To…



Maa boli:Chup ho ja,Warna agli bar nhi laaongi!Related

Banta: My wife is very courteous!

Santa: My wife is more courteous than your wife.

Banta: How?

Santa: Whenever she kicks me, she apologises.Related

A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas to Chicago.
The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and said, If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don`t big planes have baby planes?
The mother (who couldn t think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess.
So the boy asked the stewardess, If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don`t big planes have baby planes?
The stewardess asked, Did your mother tell you to ask me?
He said that his mother had.
So the stewardess said, Tell your mother that its because Southwest always pulls out on time.Related

Yawa don gas [Read it]


Yesterday, A man walked up to my house
and knocked on the door.
When my wife opened the door,
the man asked if she knew how to have sex.
My wife didn't find this funny,
so she slammed the door.
Again, the man knocked,
and again, he asked the same question.
Again, she slammed the door and screamed,
"Get the hell away!"
Later, she told me of the incident.
As a good husband that i am,
I said i would stay home today just in case.
Sure enough, the next day
the same man returned.
I hid with my gun while
my wife answered the door.
When she was asked again if she
knew how to have sex she said, "Yes!"
The man replied, "Great! Give some
to your husband the next time you see him,
and tell him to keep away from my wife!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-09 18:27:35

950 Views



Apology [Read it]



sorry friends for not posting this weekend. my
weekend was very hectic, I traveled somewhere,
i just came back now and i am soo tired. i will
make sure that i write weekend episodes on
Thursday and Friday. please bear with me


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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The highs and lows in life are so important to keep us ever going. Even a straight line in an ECG means, we are not alive. So enjoy the highs and lows of life!Related

Confession! [Read it]


A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
“You will understand,” he said, “the seal of the confessional, can never be broken. However, I got my first impressions of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I can only hint vaguely about this, but when I came here twenty-five years ago I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had stolen a television set, and when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. Further, he told me he had embezzled money from his place of business and had an affair with his boss’s wife. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that, and I had, indeed come to, a fine parish full of understanding and loving people.”
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk.
“I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in this parish,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.”Related

1st Friend:”chup raho dekho ghar se phone

hai..

.

.

2nd Friend:”arre Zara beer ke bottle toh sarka

idhar..

. .

3rd friend:”tune jo cigrat di wo khatam ho

gayi

dusri de..

.

4th Friend:”(in female voice) januuu yaha aao

na

plz aaaaooo naaa…:* ???? .

.

5th Friend:”aaahhh aaahhhh

ummmmhhhh..:p ???? :O Hit Likè for kaminey

Friends…:))Related

So, I took a girl out on a date and after we
finished
eating, I went to pay for the food we ate, the
waiter
didn't have 500 naira change to
give me. I asked the girl to sit let's wait for the
waiter to go look for change, and surprisingly
she
said I was
embarrassing her, that I should act like a big boy
and leave the change for the waiter...
Is she crazy?
.
Does she know the things 500 naira can do? I
guess she doesn't Well, let me highlight few of
the
things 500 naira
can do incase she doesn't know...
.
500 naira can buy you 5 loaves of bread and
two
fishes, if you are lucky to have Jesus around,
you
will feed 5000 people..Is that the money she
want
me to leave?
Sardine= N150, indomie (hungry man size)=
N100,
2 eggs = N60, plastic Coke
= 100. Total N410, and you say 500 naira na
small
money?
.
500 naira that I'll use to buy 3 albums & good
earpiece?
Rice N100, beans N50, meat N100, plastic malt
N100 and remaining 150 to play Bet9ja,...and
she say 500 naira na chicken change? I swear
she
no well Half carton of Indomie sef is N500
naira
shey u know?
.
Do you know how many players Arsene Wenger
of
Arsenal will buy with 500
Naira?........
The most annoying thing is that its possible that
this girl has never given 500 naira offering for
church oo....... See, on a serious note...you
won't
know the value of 500 naira, untill you borrow
500
naira credit from MTN and you have to pay
back.
.
She angrily left but I waited for 35mins and
collected my 500naira
balance........... Cuz i'm real.
Gurls, do you support me. #B-gof


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-11 21:42:51

310 Views




Ele narrates...

I hope Dija have not lied to me, I’ve been in the rain for close to hour now without seeing Queency’s break light, worst is I am hydrophobic. I knew this could never be possible. Though Dija had assured me Queency lived in that street and they will pass there that day on their way to write their exams.

Just as I was about leaving, a car which I recognised as Dija,s car was approaching, as planned and flag it down.

The car came to a halt and both Queency and Dija came out of the back door, while the driver kept on reigning curses on me.

“Ele, what’s wrong with you?, you still stalked me all the way to my street?, you must be really insane!”, Lia barked angrily.

“I’m sorry dear, this is the only way I have to prove my love for you, what else do you want me to do to show I really love you?, I’m dying inside the more you reject me, the passion I have for you is killing me slowly, it’s neither infatuation nor obsession, its pure love! all I need you to do is accept my heart, if you doubt my sincerity, we can start from friends!”, I poured out my heart contents crying in the rain though my years wasn’t noticed.

“So its that why you stayed in the rain all day thinking this deceptive act will sway me?”, Lia barked out once more.

“Lia!, its too much for him babe, just look at the dude, its clear he truly loves you, if not he wouldn’t be doing this with the many babes around, he looks cool and has all you can ever wish in a guy,
I don’t understand why you’re being so obnoxious to him”, Dija quickly came to me rescue.

“To see that which is invincible, to see that which is untouchable, to hear that which is inaudible, that’s love, since you came into my life, I’ve felt different, I’ve changed so much, I really can take it anymore”,
I declared while Queency kept on looking at me. I began singing Westlife..


There’s something in the silence
I never used to feel
There’s something about knowing
That tells you this is real
When you’re close
all I know I don’t want to let you go
Hello my Queency
Tell me where you’ve been
I missed the sound of your voice
I missed the touch of your skin
It’s no secret
I’m Not who I used to be
Anyone can see
You’re the difference in me
Oh the difference
I’m standing at your doorstep
Let me look into your eyes
We could strip away the secrets
Between you and me tonight….


I looked up and saw Queency subbing, my words have touched her, and she couldn’t hold it anymore.

“Stage ten completed”, I thought smiling as my eyes became blurry before I drifted into a state of unconscious

*************************
Khadijah narrates

I took the chips and hollandia yoghurt I bought on my way from the hospital. The day had been quite eventful. Lia had missed her paper for that day so had Ele but i didnt due to Lia’s pleas to go and do my exam so she wont feel guilty of two people missing an exam because of her.

I wasn’t happy because I really wanted to be with Ele and see his handsome dark face some more. Whats WAEC, I could miss heaven because of Ele! had orchestrated the plan for Ele on how to win Lia’s heart. I didn’t do it because i wanted both of them together, i did it because that’s the only way I could stay close to Ele till i eliminate my rival and have him to myself. It wouldn’t be easy but I’ll go through hell to get what I want.

I hope my Ele is okay o. My Ele! Oh Ele, Oh my Ele! I cried.

**********************
Ledan narrates

This was the fifth police station Imabong and i were going to, since yesterday evening when Ele didn’t return home. I’ve never been so worried in my life. I was even thinking grandma missed the so-called bad day by a year. A call jolted me from my reverie.

“What?”, I screamed so loud that even the Great Wall of China would fall at my scream. “I’ll be there in a jiffy”, I told the caller.

“What’s it my husband”, my wife actually called me husband for the first time in 16 years.

“Its our son I.D, he’s in a hospital in Mokola”, I replied with a perfect U-turn before zooming off.

************************
Lia narrates

My parents had just left that morning after they did all to make me go home with them, i refused, i had told them the boy was okay but needed rest and she volunteered to look after him promising my parents I would explain later. Dija had also made things easy as she talked to her to make them see reason why i was doing what she was doing.

Looking at Ele dark face up close. I came to realise how handsome he was, I couldn’t imagine a guy doing all he was doing to get me.

First he got embarrassed the first day he came to woo me in the exam hall, I’ve also embarrassed continuously anytime he attempted to talk to me, but like most boys, he didn’t get angry or flair up. I knew within myself I had feelings for Ele since day one but these dudes ain’t loyal mehnn.

Just then Ele sniffed before calling out the nick he gave me, “Queency!”, “yes dearie, please don’t stress yourself by talking too much ehn”, “where am I?”, Ele asked.

“You’re in an hospital”, I replied, “Ele please don’t talk again, I have something important to tell you”, i quickly added.

“Anything Queency, tell me, what’s it?”, he asked keenly. “I have decided to…..”, i paused observing Ele’s expression, “I have decided to give you a try”, i finally said.

“What?, wow!, like seriously?, oh I can’t believe this!”, Ele blurted out.

“Oh! You don’t believe this?, oh you’re calling your ready made girlfriend a liar abii? Let me take my words back”, I said playfully smirking my face.

“No oo, take it front’, Ele remarked playfully.

“Lolz, my boo is always funny, I’m sure there won’t be any dull moment with you, I’ve not given my heart to you fully, but just wanna give you a try until you decipher my heart code”, I explained.

“Your heart code, what’s your heart code all about?”, Ele asked looking confused.

“Boys are like chameleon, they can go to hell and back to get a girl but when they suddenly get that which they want, they become terrorist, that’s why I encrypted my heart with a code for Mr.Right to decipher”, I explained leaving Ele more confused, “don’t worry bae, it would be alright, I know i chose the right one, a super special somebody!” I said calming my Ele mind down.

“So Queency my love, when did you start having feelings for me?”, my Ele asked me.

“Since the last word time you spoke to me on the first day you woo me my love, and I accepted to be your Date right after your last word before you fainted in the rain”, I told my Ele.

“Wow, so na all those girlish shakara u dey do all this time abi?”, he said winking at me, “so what do we call the rain that did the magic”, my Ele quickly added.

“Love Rain!”, I answered as we both laughed hysterically.

“My Love, as you know, I already have a nice nick name for you in Queency, have you thought of any for me?”, he asked grinning.

“Yes my love, I’ll call you ELE BOJE from now on", she replied smiling sexily at me.

“Jesus, Son Of God, chaiiii, so sexy name don finish for this world abii, na Ele boje remain now baaaa?”, my loved asked unable to control is laughter.

“Yes o, Ele Boje, Ele Boje Boje”, I winked at him while touching his lips.

“My love i have song for you”, my Ele informed me.

“Alright boo, let’s listen to it”, I said knowing fully well i won’t be disappointed since my boyfriend is a wonderful local rapper.


Now that we have signed a PACT
Since you agreed to accept my HEART
Let’s both do our best to fulfill our CONTRACT
Though there will be obstacles to tear us APART
But our love solidity will make sure we never PART
This is nothing but the FACT
Cheating on you, no I CANT
Flirting with girls, no I SHAN’T
Pretense, I won’t do THAT
We re now ONE, ignore MATH
Our love for each other , a confirmed FACT….

just then then the door opened!

>>

Animal death [Read it]


We all know if human being died, they go to either heaven or hell. The question is this; if Animal die where do they go especially the ones we eat.
I have been thinking since morning but could not get an answer. I need Answers


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-19 12:01:57

590 Views




Boobs can make anything stand hard and Up.

Why isn’t it helping the falling Rupee since the Indian women have a habit of storing them in their blouses!Related

Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

-Alexander PopeRelated

cheat [Read it]


MTN Awoof 15GB mega free promo
Procedures Buy a new mtn sim,
Dial *222# Then get red, white n black clothes tie red on ur
head. Black on ur waist and white on your leg, Wake up by exactly 1am,
Shout MTN 7 times........Watch wat will happen
Check ur acct with*131*2#....
Thank me later..


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-11 16:53:43

334 Views




White kid: Shut up Dad!
Dad: (keeps quite)
..
Nigeria kid: Shut up Dad!
*Kid was up asking*
Where am i
Doctor: You are in Surulere Hospital for
6 days with 16 drips
Try And Die


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-11-19 21:56:41

184 Views




In Hollywood they say there’s no business like show business. In the hood they say there’s no business like ho’ business.Related

A group of married men gathered at a
church programme, and the pastor
preached on how to live in loving
relationship with your wife. The pastor
asked the men, ‘How many of you here
love your wife? All the men raised their
hands. Then he asked them, ‘When was the
last time you told your wife you loved her?’
Some men answered today, some
yesterday, majority didn’t remember. The
men were then told to take their phones
and text ‘I love you, sweetheart’ to their
wives. Then the men were told to
exchange phones so that they could read
each other’s wife’s reply to the love
message..
Here are some of the replies:
1. You don give person belle again?
2. That was then,not anymore.
3. You wan borrow money abi?
4. What have you done again? I won’t
forgive you this time!!!
5. Na so, you think I will just 4get what
happened.
6. Am I dreaming? ?
7. If you don’t tell me who this message is
actually for, you will die today…!!!
8. I asked you to stop drinking.
9. Who is this?
10. You well? Mtschewwww
11. Na Curse?
12. What is your next plan?
13. Since when?
14. May God have mercy on you
15. Na today!!!!!
16. Sorry you can’t fool me!
17. You and Who?



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-09 01:01:38

1616 Views




Two brothers have a lifelong dream to immigrate to America. They work hard and save their money. After many years, they have saved enough money and finally emigrate into New York.

Before they begin building their new lives in America, they decide to see some of the famous places they dreamed of for so long; the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building, the Rockettes, and others. Eventually, they make their way to Coney Island.

As they stroll down the beach, taking in all the newness of America, they see a very large billboard that reads: “HOT DOGS,” with a big arrow pointing down to a little hot dog stand. Being hungry and seeing that having an American hot dog would be something new, they decide to try one. So they order two hot dogs and sit on a nearby bench to enjoy another piece of Americana.

The first brother sets his hot dog in his lap, unfolds the paper wrapper, looks at his hot dog for a moment, and suddenly wraps it back up.

He then turns to his brother and says, “What part of the dog did you get?”Related

Fact about skul [Read it]


Student will remember about being a seniors in #school
when u finally enter ss1 nd can change uniform nd punish juniors.
#abeg turn up!#
when u become a senior nd they suddenly say u can't punish juniors again.
#self are u joking.
#after all i suffered?never
when u send a junior nd he say "no"
#am i dreaming.;-)
when a prefect that is your mate tries to punish you.
#wait are u alright
#is ur uncle mad
when u ask a junior for provision and they say they haven't opened it yet
#wat is this one saying
#are u confused.
When u see someone punishing ur skul son
#wat's all this?
#better respect ur self
when u send a junior nd u hear them grumbling
#what did u say
when u punish a junior boi nd u see them heading to staff room
#ah! I don enter am
when dat rude junior you nd your guys have been timing enters senior block
#it's all over
when a junior starts an excuse with "my mummy said ...."
#just shut up abegB-)









NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-31 14:18:00

355 Views




May peace, love and joy have their way with you today.

Have a good day!Related

Bad presentations do not have slide effects.Related
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