Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


****MORNING****
Sweedieeee!!!! Is time for school, your late already, Mum's voice flew into my ears, I just stretch a little bit and looked at the clock it's already 8.03am.
What!!!! I exclaimed got up as quick as possible, bumbed into the shower and came in less than a minute, I didnt even used the mouth wash. Grabbed ma bags and licenses kissed my mum and then hit ther road.
Well my name is Desire Lance, iam a 15yrz old kid who stays in greenville.
My school greenville high is just down the road, my mum always thought I was a dull but heeey i just hated my school coz i got bullied everyday, I never really saw myself as lucky but hey have got dreams.. Well atleast i didn't realise what dreams meant but as much as i would love to be a popular don juan who knows how to do a couple of things, i think i just wanna be a person nobody sees (invisible) coz weird things always happens to me.........
Stay tuned as i take you further into my lifes adventures.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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EPISODE 7 Continues...
Funke was arranging the parlour when she saw a small calabash that contains cola nuts and something that looks like a stick and a red cloth tied around the stick with palm oil on it. Na so this girl come dey shout, “blood of Jesus! Blood of Jesus.” Na so I rush come out from bathroom were I dey bath. When I came out, she started saying that we were doing juju in the house, pointing at what she saw. I myself was so shocked because that was the first time of me seeing that thing. Who must have kept that kind of thing in the house. Rather than screaming with her, I lied to her that maybe it was the person staying in the house before. “But you said it was a family house nah,” she said to me. I told her that, “maybe it was one of Uchenna’s relatives that left it there. That it wasn’t us.” Na so funke vex run commot for the house ohhh. She said she can’t stay in that house where that kind of thing is. Me sef dey fear but I no wan show am out. After funke had left, I called uchenna on the phone but there was noise where he was, we couldn’t hear each other very well on phone. He sent me a text that I should call back later. I tried Abisoko’s line and it went through, he picked.
Me --- hello Isoko
Abisoko – Paddy mi, how far nah.. no worry I go soon dey come back house.
Me – guy forget that one joorr. No be that one e dey.
Abisoko --- What is that?
Me – Funke saw something in the parlour
Abisoko --- funke keh, who be funke?
Me --- Funke nah
Abisoko – funke! Which funke?
Me – my own funke
Abisoko --- okkkkk. Funke kpomo lips.
Me – guy stop that rubbish. No dey call my girl kpomo lips.
I told him what funke saw and he shouted. He said it was uchenna that kept the thing there and that it was meant for three of us (me, Abisoko and uchenna). “Ehhh, three of us keh! You and who,” I shouted. He started explaining that was the reason Uchenna travelled to Ibadan. Infact he told me to cut the call that he was coming back home immediately. When he returned home, he was so angry. He said he never knew that Uchenna kept that thing there.
Uchenna returned from Ibadan, he blamed me for bringing funke to the house. Even if funke would come, why will she go to arrange the house. After all, it’s not her house. Abisoko was blaming uchenna for keeping that thing there, Uchenna was blaming me and funke. He even said he doesn’t want funke to be coming to the house again. I had really started enjoying her company ooo. She dey even cook for us.
Later on, I apologized to uchenna for everything, even though I felt it wasn’t my fault. But I accepted blame for peace to reign. I no say na him get house but funke go still dey come. Just that we go dey extra careful. We settled the issue. Uchenna said the concoction I saw was given to him by a strong native doctor which would help us be successful in the yahoo yahoo business. I asked them, “I thought It was just to do the normal thing.” Does it involve us going through native doctors and babalawos?” I asked. “Without babalawo, you no fit make am,” abisoko said. I told them why didn’t they tell me before. Because I didn’t want to involve myself in and with any form of ritual. Uchenna said it wasn’t a ritual. It was just to make the oyibo people pay money. “We no dey kill anybody nah, just relax,” Uchenna said. Uchenna said it was a friend that he brought the concoction the previous day while I was away in school so he forgot to tell me. Uchenna told me we would be having a visitor from Ibadan the next day. He said the person coming was a banker and would be one of our main “inside contact” in the bank which was where he works. He would be helping to confirm transaction. According to Uchenna, it was G-money introduced him to us. He said I would be working with him and after everything, we go give am small money. So Uchenna wanted him to meet us and get familiar. Uchenna also said he was also making plans to get another “inside bank contact” in Abeokuta who will be working with us in his own bank.
After much talk, Uchenna went outside and locked the gate from inside. He locked the doors of the house. He brought out three white handkerchiefs. He gave one to Abisoko. He gave me one and took the remaining one. I began wondering what was going on. He said Abisoko had already known what he would do with the handkerchief but he was repeating his words because of me since I was yet to know what to do with it. He said the native doctor that gave them the handkerchief said we should sleep with a virgin female and use the white handkerchief to clean the blood flow and return it to him. As I heard what he said, “Na so me vex come dey para.” I told then I thought they said we were not going to do any rituals. Which one come be this one. “Shey dis one na ritual, shey na ritual! We go kill anybody?” Abisoko shouted. Uchenna told Abisoko to calm down. He said even if I didn’t do it, the implications would be very worse because he had already submitted my name to the native doctor as part of the people that would do it. So the best thing was for me to do it. Them say this one, them no go beg me make I do am, say if I like I do and if I no like make I no do say wetin I see make I take. “Kaiiii, na so fear come dey catch me ooo.” I became confused. I never signed up for all these kind of things nah. I thought we would just get the oyibo person, scam them and take there money, that was all. This one wey them dey do, I no come dey understand again oohhh.
That night, I had a terrible dream. In that dream, I saw a multitude of people chasing me with cutlass. When I woke up, I was so scared.
The next day, Uchenna called me and advised that i do what the native doctor asked. He was trying to convince me nothing would happen to me or the virgin girl. He used his sugar coated mouth to convince me. He said he was assuring me that nothing bad would happen to us unless if we didn’t do it. I just became confused. Na so fear go com dey catch me! “Where I go come find virgin.” I asked. My guys thought that was a stupid question because virgins were all around us. “Try your ugly funke kpomo lips,” Uchenna said. They laughed as I walked out of the place. Uchenna said he would go back to Ibadan to return the handkerchief and concoction so we should do everything fast.
The banker from Ibadan visited. His name was Jide. We did all the contact exchange, familiarity we needed to do. However he advised that we shouldn’t break the code. “No one should know what we were into. ‘And make we no implicate him.’ Uchenna paid banker Jide’s his transport fare back to Ibadan.
Two days later, my guys were ready with their virgin blood handkerchief. Na me dem come dey wait for. I didn’t know how to do my own, and Funke said she was coming to my place that evening. In as much I and funke were close, I have never made any sexual advancement on her. I was even scared to do it. “And who knows if she was even a virgin.” My guys are beginning to disturb me to produce my own virgin blood handkerchief.
Funke came that evening. I was scared, I didn’t know how to make the move. I had apologized about the concoction she saw the other day. I told her that none of us were aware of it in the first place. ‘I come lie say na Uchenna great great grandparents wey live there fit do am. Na so she buy the lie.’ I thought of another thing about confronting funke on sex. “What if she gives me access and I com do finish and she no come be virgin.” I thought to myself. That one go be serious trouble.
I sat gently. Funke asked what was happening to me that I was just moody. “I told her I was just tired and weak. She began feeling pity for me. If only she knew what was on my mind.” My guys were in there rooms using their laptops. I had to stand up and told them to leave the house entirely and go outside which they did. It looked as if I was pretending that I was sick. No be say I sick but wetin dey my mind was making me weak and sick. We went into uchenna’s room. I made sure the handkerchief was in my pocket of trouser. I laid on the bed and told funke to join me which she did. She was browsing on her phone. She asked if I was feeling weaker, so she could go buy me drugs. I told her not to worry. I began touching her in some sensitive parts. She laughed as if it was a normal joke. I tickled her hair. My hands went to her waist and tried removing the top she was wearing. Na so she hold my hand. “Gbade what are you trying to do,” funke asked. I began smiling sheepishly. I no know wetin I want talk again. Na so I summon courage press forward. She was still telling me calmly to stop but I continued till I removed her clothes. Na so this girl begin cryooo. And I was too emotional. I couldn’t continue anymore. I didn’t want it to look as if I raped her, forcing her against her will. Na so I begin beg her ooo. She was crying. I told her I wasn’t doing again ooo. I begged and told her I would never try such an act again. And I had pulled her clothes. She was only having her bra and pant on. She wore her clothes and carried her bag, I held her waist while seeing her off. When my guys see us, dem come dey smile. Them go don dey think say I don succeed. I gave funke N1000 as she left. When I returned to the house, my guys come dey hail me. Na so I tell them say I no succeed ooo. I told them what transpired. Me, I didn’t know what to do again oo. Whether to kill a fowl and use the blood. There was this fowl that normally come into our compound. I thought to myself, “maybe that would be what I would do.” But it was unfortunate, that night, I had a dream. In that dream, I was returning from a stream. I had water on my head. I met an old man on the way. The old man began warning that the evil act on my mind, I shouldn’t try it and if I should disobey, I will be faced with huge consequences. I woke up with great fear. I told my guys the dream. Uchenna said if there was anything I planned on doing, I shouldn’t just try it. “But what could be the evil act I want to do. The only thing on my mind was using of a fowl blood instead of virgin woman’s blood.” I couldn’t tell my guys that. I only harboured the thought.
I returned from school on Thursday and went to balikis’s shop to take fresh air. I played and joked with her aunty. My guys came and joined me. After a while, we went inside the house. Uchenna gave me a weird idea. He said I should go for balikis as the virgin blood to use. I immediately rebuked him. They laughed. I considered balikis still as an underage and innocent girl. And infact I can’t even do that kind of thing with her. Abisoko said he would help arrange her because time was running out. Na so dem come dey pressurize me to do this girl. Infact I became confused. “Okay if you no go for balikis, go for another person nah,” uchenna said to me. But who else do I even want to go for.
On Saturday morning which was environmental sanitation. Uchenna would be leaving for the native doctor’s place by 11am. And that weekend, some students in the area had travelled.
Abisoko ran into the house screaming my name. I asked what the problem was. “Gbade, this is your opportunity now! Do it or?” Abisoko said. I asked what opportunity was. He said balikis was outside at their shop doing some cleaning. They said I should go bring her and have sex with her.
>


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Continue part*****

I might have sleft off while thinking,I look around me to see if I have been dreaming but no I wasn't it was real, I took my phone and found ten missed calls from Mimi, I could have called her back but I was too sacred to call, what if lmada has told her everything and she is just calling to hear my side of the story or maybe cut of the wedding,I was just confused I try to comfort myself but it wasn't working,who do I call the only person that knows of my secret was my friends and my parents but I can't call them now,I was till in my thought when my doorbell ring,I look at the time it was 7:30 who could be looking for me by this time and why will my gateman open up for someone when I haven't given him the permission to do so, well that's me for you I don't allow visitors that much.

I got up sluggishly and went to open the door,just as I feared mimi was standing at my door looking at me with a weary eyes, it seems she has been crying. "Is it true" she asked,at once I knew lmada have told her,there was nothing to hide anymore I looked at her in silents, "tell me is it true that you where the once that raped my sister,answer me" she was at the top of her voice ,I just didn't know what to say I left her at the door and went inside, she followed me shouting, I tried to find the words to say but I couldn't find any, she was till shouting asking me questions, my head was ringing so loud,it was like durm is been played inside my head,with the shouting of mimi it was like adding patrol to fire, "tell me uyi" she kept saying, "yes I did it" I didn't even know when that came out, she kept quite at once "I am so sorry mimi, but I can explain" tear was now gathering around my eyes,I tryed to hold her but she push me away then start working to the door "mimi" my heart was beating so fast, she turned, I can see the tear rolling down her cheek "I thought we would be happy together but I was wrong" she look at her finger and removed the ring, i would see my world crashing down,she put it on my couch, "mimi please don't do this please" I can see myself crying "it over uyi don't ever come near me ever again" she left immediately, is this really happening, I try to stop the tear that was falling from my eyes but it seems I was wasting my energy because the tear itself wants to come out,I sat on the floor,Is this my punishment,my body was on fire and I needed to cool down, I got up took my car key that was when I saw the ring,I pick it up and place it in my pocket.

I couldn't remember when last I went to a bar but I really need it,I drank some few bottles of Heineken then I went home,I won't say I was drank but I know I was high,but not too high not to be able to drive home,as soon as I got home I landed on the bed and I was off to another planet.

I woke up the next day at about 8:30 I wasn't sure of going to work that day,I pick my phone and called mimi but she wasn't replying,I even sent her an SMS but till no response,I lay on my bed not knowing what to done next,I later got up took my bath,I wasn't hungry ,I put the ring on my necklace to keep it close to my heart I wasn't giving up on mimi I have to try to get her back.

I came out of my house and was about to enter my car when I saw some group of police men of about four walked passed my gateman and came to me. "Good morning sir are you Mr uyi omorodion " one of the police man asked, "yes how may I help you"I just pray it isn't what am thinking, "you are invited to the station for questioning please kindly come with us", (invitation to the police station where e for dey happen),I kingly obeyed them I really don't want them to drag me like a criminal, two of them drove with me while the other two drove alone.

I know deep down this wasn't just an invitation so I have to go full prepared, I called my lawyer immediately who told me he will meet up with me there, I knew with my lawyer on my side nothing bad could happened, his name is Barr.Wilson,he is one of the top lawyers in Abuja, I just hope this has nothing to do with lmada.

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And read next part

Part 22






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A teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words. She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more than one syllable.

“Joe, Do you know any multi-syllable words?”

After some thought Joe proudly replied, “Monday.”

“Great, that has two syllables, Mon……day. Does anyone know another word.”

“I do! I do!” replied Johnny. Knowing Johnny’s more mature sense of humor she picks Kelly instead.

“OK Kelly, what is your word.”

“Saturday.” says Kelly.

“Great, that has three syllables…”

Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says, “I know a four syllable word. Pick me! Pick me!”

Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the teacher reluctantly says, “O.K. Johnny what is your four syllable word?”

Johnny proudly says, “Mas…tur…ba…tion.”

Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure says, “Wow, Johnny. Four syllables! That’s certainly is a mouthful.”

“No Ma’am, your thinking of ‘blowjob’, and that’s only two syllables.”Related

Akpos was getting ready for his 9 months military training outside the state but he doesn't trust his best friend Okon over his fiance. He turned to Okon and told him:"My fiance is the most beautiful girl in the world and I can't imagine her being with someone else, while I'm gone. You're my best friend. Here's the key for my house where i luck her. In case I never get back, unlock her and set her free."When Akpos was a mile away from town, he received an urgent message:"Bros, You Gave Me The Wrong Key!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-16 15:03:20

589 Views




Difference between “Facebook” and “Whatsapp” conversation :

On “Whatsapp” –

Wife : Kab se wait kar rahi hoon. Ghar kab aa rahe ho?

Husband : Abhi kuchh pataa nahi. Dimaag mat chaato. Jab dekho pareshaan karti rehti ho.

On “FaceBook” –

Wife : Dear when will you be back? You are the best husband in the world. Miss you. Come back soon.

(Status liked by 50 of her friends)

Husband : Thanks for being there always. So lucky to have a wonderful wife like you. Will be back soon honey. (Status liked by 75 friends, including sister-in-law & mother-in-law)Related

Okon and Nkoli got married, but can`t afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Okon`s parent`s home for their first night together. In the morning, Akpos, Okon`s little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Okon and Nkoli are up yet.


She replies, "No".
Akpos asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "I don`t want to hear what you think! Just go to school."
Akpos comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Okon and Nkoli up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Akpos says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Akpos comes home and asks again, "Are Okon and Nkoli up yet?"
His mom says "No."
He asks, "Do you know what I think?" His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"
He says: "Last night Okon came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-22 06:42:36

3023 Views




Ek gubbare waale ki dukan ke bahar likha tha:



Agar apne bacche ko gubbara nahi dila sakte to waqt pe gubbara chadha liya karo….!!:O X_X



samjdaar bachche kaha gye ??Related

blood test [Read it]


Akpos walks into a clinic to have his blood type taken. The nurse goes about taking the blood sample from his finger. 


After finishing, she looks around for a piece of cotton to wipe away the excess blood. She couldn't find the cotton wool, so she looks innocently at Akpos and takes his finger and sucks it.


Akpos is so pleased, then he asks with a wide smile on his face, "Please I desire to have a urine test done too."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-19 19:46:02

458 Views




THE SILENT MOVIE
STORY BY DINDY
Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story.
THIS STORY IS A ONE EPISODE STORY.
CAUTION; THIS STORY WILL INSPIRE YOU AND MIGHT MAKE YOU CRY.
Thanks for reading
....STORY BEGINS....
Life is full of words that I can't speak, life is an expression I can't express through words, signs and movement of my hands are the only way I can connect with other.
My life is without complete joy and my soul suffers for it deeply, time increased the frustration within me and regret is all I feel.
Numbers of times have I tried to understand why I can't break free off my voiceless cry, number of things I've wished to be heard without the signs of hand language but it all ends up at nothing.
My name is Jessica and the things I went through as a young lady who wasn't shown love and was also denied love because of my ability not to voice out my true feelings, would make you see this world differently.
........JESSICA'S STORY STARTS......
I was born in the year 1995, after my birth my mum and dad died leaving only me in the world, my dad had died right after he heard that my mum died after giving birth to me --so I was told--.
The hospital contacted my relatives but non of them wanted anything to with me because of what they heard that happened. They believed that I was a child of bad luck.
The hospital couldn't do anything about it, so they gave me to an orphanage home since I was rejected by my own family --You can imagine, the people you call family are the ones that will turn their backs against you--.
--My pains and suffering started from when i was a little baby, who was so harmless and who knew nothing about the wickedness that moves and floats around the universe.--
.........TWO YEARS LATER.......
As time went on, I grew like others of the same age as I in the orphanage home, but unlike them I wasn't able to say my first baby words, all I could do was to make sounds. The personnel in the orphanage home later came to the conclusion that I was dumb -can't speak--, which led to another area of my life of pain.
Kids of my age were being adopted by different rich people, but I wasn't because of the error life injected in me. Some of the orphanage personnel didn't like me so much because of my disability.
Love for me when I was a kid, wasn't so sweet and fun, each passing day was like a chain saw cutting deep into my life. Rejection was written all over my voice cords and face.
......FIVE YEARS LATER.......
When I became 7 years of age things became harder and love was a missing box in the land of no return. I was bullied around by both boys and girls in the orphanage home, just because no one could understand me.
I had no friends not because I could not speak, but because the kids that where there heard what happened to my parent and how I was rejected by my relates, so they came to a conclusion that I was nothing but pure bad luck.
Each time I tried associating with them, I get pushed aside like a piece of worthless used rag. Some of the orphan personnel tried creating bond between I and other kids, but it was completely hopeless because non of them liked me not even a bit.
I was a rejected stone in the orphanage home to all the kids, things were very hard for me but I never allowed my inner pain to surface, I tried my best in fighting my way around the pain not to fall into the down-less fall of pain.
......TWO YEARS LATER......
I lived 9 years of my life thinking that I was the only person in the world with such disability until a day came. A man in his thirties came --he was also dumb--, he was brought by one of the orphanage personnel to teach me and other kids hand signs --I was the only dumb kid in the orphanage home--.
I was happy when I heard it because it would be a good way for I and other kids in the orphanage home to connect.
When the teaching started, at first I wasn't so sure that I would understand, but as time moved on, I got to understand bit by bit.
The man who taught I and other kids hand signs was more focused on me because he knew what it felt like not to have the ability of speech. He would regularly teach me separately after he was done with the general teaching which helped me improved alot.
He would teach me things ahead of what he planned to teach that particular day.
Some personnel in the orphanage home were happy to see changes in my lifestyle after each teaching by the man. Things also changed between I and other kids, they began to get closer to me because they understood little of what I was passing through.
........SIX YEARS LATER.......
Everything became different for me at the age of 15, but some old things never change no matter how hard you try.
Each time I was put up for adoption, one thing or another would stop it. The reason why many of them didn't choose me was because I was dumb, some of them didn't pick me because of what they learnt about my past.
What took away my happiness was my past and disability, they were the darkness drilled deep down my body and soul.
Each time I got rejected, I feel a sharp pain right in my chest, but I hold the pain inside me not to show my weakness. Rejection became a regular thing for me and loneliness became my place of rest.
Time after time, I would sit in a corner and just cry to let all my hidden pain out. It was the only way for me to get rid of the pain which was very very hurtful.
The orphanage personnel didn't notice for a moment that I suffered in pain due to rejection because I hid my pains so well that it was like a smile on my face.
........THREE YEARS LATER......
When I became 18years nothing changed, everything was still the same for me. Love and care was still far away from my presence and nothing but sorrow was all that cuddled me.
I became one of the oldest orphan in the orphanage home. Every other older kid had been adopted leaving me behind, even younger and little kids that were brought to the orphanage home months ago had been adopted.
I was like a forbidden fruit in the valley of sweet grapes. Some of the orphanage personnel felt sorry for me, while other said I was a witch and I was nothing but bad luck.
At that age I felt no pain again because it became part of me, nothing I heard about me pained me or made me cry. I was so deeply hurt that there was nothing else to be hurt about, so each time I heard them say bad things about me, I would just ignore.
Although nothing changed in my emotional life, but physically things changed about me. My looks, hair, sharp, size and most important of all my ability to do hand signs.
I was very good at hand signs, I was so good that I started creating my own hand signs and drawing them down. Some of the orphanage personnel who liked me, told me that I shouldn't stop, that this would take me somewhere.
They encouraged me to continue, so I didn't stop and kept on pushing.
.......TWO YEARS LATER......
A competition come up for people who can't talk, people like me. I was very happy to hear that, at least I would meet different people that has the same disability like me and I would show case what I have.
When the day came for the competition, I got prepared very early and left to the venue --hey, I was 20years, so I was old enough to walk on my own--.
When I got there I saw few people like me around, they used hand signs to communicate to themselves. I was not a social person so I stayed on my own and stood at a corner looking around.
The competition was all about reading words and demonstrating what you read with your hands. The competition started and they started giving us numbers. I was picked as number 5.
When time came for me to do my stuff, I did great but then words appeared on the screen which words were being displayed for us to read.
The words were "Parent, relatives, friends, family and Death". When I saw it I became weak, I was totally confused and didn't know what to do. I broke down instantly making me loose the competition.
When I gat back to the orphanage home, I said nothing to anyone, I gently and quietly walk in and went straight to my bed to relax my head.
That day was a dark day for me because what I never imagined that would happen to me happened that very day, it almost made me cry but due to the pains and sorrow I had experienced I was able to hold down the tears.
......FIVE YEARS LATER......
Five years had gone by since the competition took place and the pain of it made me hide my ability of hand signs. Things changed a little for me, I was the oldest person in the orphanage home and was helping out the personnel who worked there to do some little jobs.
I was very attractive, so guys walked up to me time to time asking me for my name. Like a day when I was walking on my own, a cute handsome guy drove up to me and asked me where I was going to.
At that moment I had wished he would disappear, but he didn't and kept on asking me where I was going, so I tried speaking with hang signs.
When he came to the reality that I was dumb, he said nothing to me and drove off, I watched his car as it drove forward then I continued walking.
I never for once felt bad because it was not the first or second or third time it was happening to me, sometimes most guys would hiss or laugh at me, so it was a normal thing for me.
In the orphanage home, no one wanted to adopt me again, they said i was too old and could not talk, so i was of no use to them. The things they said didn't hurt me in any way because my heart had become more wounded than before.
As time went on, I got a job in a cyber café which wasn't too far from the orphanage home --I'm a computer literate--. The lady who employed me wasn't always around but her son was.
Her son was so handsome that my heart melted each time I saw him, his presence always lightened up my emotions and face without me even knowing it. I tried as much as possible to hide my emotions for him, but it always seemed to show each time he came around me, but the only thing was that he never knew nor understood.
The things that kept me away from him was my disability and he had a girlfriend who he loved so much. I loved him so much that each time he picked a call from his girlfriend, I would feel really offended and sad inside.
His girlfriend and my disability was a bridge that divided our two separate worlds, but deep down i knew that someday I would get the chance to express myself.
I would have told him how much I really cared and love him but I was so afraid to get rejected by him.
I was afraid that I might do something extremely terrible if he turned me down and I didn't want to steal another lady's man, it was not my way of life and I wasn't planning on taking that path.
There came a time when he went back to school to finish up his schooling because he was in his final year. When he left I felt to alone, like there was nothing for me to live for, I was totally incomplete.
.......SIX MONTHS LATER......
He came back looking more handsome and breathtaking than before, smiles came on my face when i saw him, the smile was so obvious that he looked at me strangely. When I saw that he was looking at me strangely, I quickly changed my facial expression.
Although I changed my facial expression my heart was still beating very fast, making me loose control of everything I was doing at that particular moment. My heart beat so fast that it felt like it was going to burst out my chest.
I can't sit any more, so I excused myself and headed out side to a corner to relief my heart off the load.
When I got to the corner, a smile came on my face and I placed both my hands on my chest relaxing my emotions.
That day passed away and the joy I felt continued to remain in me because of my heart was super happy.
.......A WEEK LATER.......
Everything was normal until a day came and everything changed. It was a lovely friday and the morning smelled of great things to happen.
I went to my working place that Friday with my face glowing like the clouds. As always, I excepted him to come 30mins after I had opened, but he didn't which got me worried and sad.
3 hours had got but yet he didn't show up, I couldn't call him because I was dumb so that was completely a bad idea because he won't understand what I would say. The only way for me to reach him was to text him.
I was about to text him when I came to my senses that I didn't have his phone number. After I realised that, I became more and more sad.
All day long I was so unhappy, i became stressed out because of the way I felt deep inside me. Evening came but yet there was no sign of him.
When closing time came, I locked up slowly. After locking up, I then start walking back home.
On my way going back home I saw someone right under a tree with both hands place on the head. When I looked properly I discovered that it was him.
I was surprised and happy to see him, so I walked up to him to know why he didn't come.
When i got close to him, he raised his head upwards displaying the tears that came down his eyes. When I saw his watery eyes my heart instantly became greatly sad.
Micheal: "Oh it's you", he said as he gently wiped of the tears off his face.
I smiled and sat beside him.
Micheal: "I know you are wondering why i didn't show up today", he said to me as fresh droplets of tears moved down his eyes.
Micheal: "You won't believe what happened to me", he said as tears began to gather up more and more in his eyes.
Micheal: "[In pain] My girlfriend broke up with me after all this years we have been together", he said as tears flowed down his eyes like a water fall.
Micheal: "She left me, she break my heart. I have nothing to live for, my life is over!", he shouted expressing his inner pain.
As I saw him crying, I became torn apart into pieces, I couldn't stand it, I couldn't stand to see him so heartbroken and sad. Tears started coming down my eyes as I saw him crying more and more.
I wanted to tell him how much I loved him, I wanted to express my true feelings for him, I wanted to pour out all I feel deep inside for him, but it was not possible because of my disability.
I cried like he did, but my reasons were because I couldn't express myself to him and he was heartbroken.
I knew I had to try and save him from his pain, so I quickly thought of the best way to reach him. I tapped him on his right shoulder making him to look at me with tears in his eyes.
I then tried using simple hand signs to tell him that I love him. He looked at me confusingly with tears dropping from his eyes and said nothing because he did not understand what I was doing.
When I saw that he wasn't getting what I was doing, I then brought out a lollipop from my bag to try it maybe he would understand me.
When I tried explaining my feelings with the lollipop he became very infuriated.
Micheal: "I don't understand what you're doing!", he yelled at me angrily.
Micheal: "No one understands you", he said angrily with tears in his eyes.
Micheal: "[Angry] You don't even know how it feels to be heartbroken, you can never understand the feeling", he said standing up with eyes in his eyes.
Micheal: "[Angry] What can you ever know? After all you are just a dumb girl", he said as he left.
After I heard his last words, I froze for up to 30mins. I was confused, shocked, paralyzed, very sad, and in deep pain.
I wasn't myself any more, I lost my soul that moment and everything became nothing. Life to me became worthless.
When I got myself back after 30mins of sitting, tears ran down my eyes and i stood up with my bag in my hand.
I began to walk like a robot with tears running down my eyes because I was still in shock of what i heard.
When I got to the orphanage home, I went straight to my room not saying a word to nobody.
After I opened the door to my room (with tears still coming down my eyes) and sat down on my bed, everything came down on me breaking me entirely and completely.
My tears increased so much that it was like I had a dam of tears in my brain which had been stored for years. My mind felt like it had been smashed severely and my mind felt like it was going to explored with bitterness.
All the pains, sorrows and sadness that had been hidden in me over the years came out that very moment destroying me both emotionally, physically, psychologically and mentally.
.......THE NEXT DAY BY 5AM......
Jessica: "Life has done it again to me", she said in her mind as tears ran down her eyes.
Jessica: "What have I done wrong to deserve all this", she said in her mind crying more.
Jessica: "From the beginning of my life it has been all rejection", she said in her mind as she placed both hands on her hand.
Jessica: "I was denied everything including love", she said within herself crying out tears.
Jessica: "What do I have to live for if the only person I find love in has pushed me away because of my disability", she said in her mind as she opened up her bag and brought out a razorblade that was in her bag.
Jessica: "I have nothing else to live for, if I can't talk like others, then I'm totally worthless to life", she said In her mind as she cut her left hand vein, causing her to collapse instantly.
She DIED 20mins later when no one was able to help her because they had no idea of what happened.
THE END
:.....
:.....
:.....
:.....
:.....
:.....
Hello fans, I wrote this story not because I want to entertain you or make you enjoy reading.
I wrote it because I was inspired when I saw a dumb lady. I was sad at first when I saw that she couldn't talk, it hurt me alot.
In fact let me just say this story is for her, she might never read this story for a day, but at least I'm happy that it would be read by others like her and they would be happy reading it (kinda).
I want people to really see the challenges they face time to time and the kind of hard life some of them experience and live.
Having the ability not to talk ain't easy, so when you see a dumb person, try and connect with them the best way you can, you never can tell what unbelievable ability he/she may have.
Try to respect and love people with disabilities, don't condemn them because everyone is special in their own way.
Fans, I hope you guys learnt from this story And oh yea I'm really sorry for the delay on the stories I listed I was going to write. My head needs rest and I lost inspection to write, but don't worry I got the inspiration to write back and I will still write the stories I listed. Although some would be this year while others next year.
I won't have written this story if not for that lady who can't talk, she is really my inspiration for this story, God bless her and God bless all my Beautiful and loving fans out there.
MUCH LOVE FROM DINDY BABY, I HOPE YOU CRIED :p.
STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected] Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi







NAIRAJOKES.COM




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AYOMIDE EPISODE 9

Three hours later,ayomide is
already Inside a hummer bumper
which is carrying Both I and my
load to my town,its a very
long journey,I was really bored
when I wasIn the Bus so I picked
up my phone
and on it,I called my
mum that I was
on my way home,so after
that I remember
My Francisca would
have really waited for
My calls,so I call her and
she picked up the
Call and we finally started talking,oh my Gosh!
I really missed her voice,the more I listen to
Her voice the more I wanted to continue listening to it,omo I just
dey smile as we continue talking,
E come be like this girl
Don charm me,I haven't tell her
I have a gift for her,it should be a surprise
Package,though you and I already knows
What it is but still its still
a surprise package to my francisca
"So what about the answer to my request?"
I finally asked her...
"You will receive your answer three days after you return from your trip"she replied
"You are really putting me into suspense,
do you know how much I love you?,I just can't
Wait anymore francisca,it is taking so much
time,just give me my answer right now and
let me know my fate"I finally bursted out...
"You have to be patient A.Y,you know I
really have a lot to think about before giving
in for you,guys of this days are really desperate,pls just bear with me,okay?..and I
Promise you it won't be fully negative..if we
Can't date we can still be friends"she replied..
Mtcheeew...like I care for any rubbish
Friendship,who wants your friendship
I already have enough friends,anyway
She already told me it won't be fully negative,
I still stand a chance of getting yes as an
Answer,and besides I have that android phone
With me,maybe if I give her,she will appreciate
It by giving me a good answer..I think
Inside my heart...
"Hmmm okay dear,thanks very much
for your good words but I hope my answer will
Be positive"
I replied and after some minutes of conversation
between me and francisca
I ended the call
and slept off while
Inside the bus...when I woke up,it is
Already 7:30am in the morning,
Zoom!!!!...the bus parked,we already
Got to the front of our supermarket
as my mum hurriedly comes out
and welcome me with a warm hug...
I left everything there,I was really tired,
Very exhausted from the long journey and I went
to find something to eat,the loads were
Packed inside by some people who get paid
For their services...am less concern about that
anyway.
On the second day of my arrival to my
town,I invited Francisca over to my house,I
was the only one at home then,so I am really
free,though I invited her after telling her
I bring something back from ibadan for her,its
A surprise package I told her without revealing
What the surprise is...
It was 9:30am when francisca arrived,I
Already prepared everything that she can eat
And drink,so she arrived that fateful morning
and she dressed really well,my heart was
beating so fast after seeing her
she wore a mini tight skirt with a pink top,
SHE iS REALLY BEAUTIFUL,now I am really
Falling for her..I love this girl even more than
Dolapo..hmm,I pray she accept me sha,
We chatted for a long time,and she told me many things about her school and other things,and she ask why am home and not in
School,remember I told her I was in unilorin
Studying micro biology?,na so I come dey find
Lie that I can tell her,unilorin no dey strike
I for tell her say we are on strike.
I don enter am today!!!..I exclaimed inside
My heart...what will I say

>>

EPISODE 6

Another small pause and a sudden
seriousness
came over Mma’s face again.She moved
further
aside and when she talked again, her voice
went
significantly lower.
‘Yes. Very serious problem o.’
‘Mama–‘ She looked at Nkechi. She was
humming
as she gathered the rubbish of leaves and
used
recharge cards together.
Mma moved further away, closer to the
mango
tree near the edge of the road.
‘Mama chasing me out of the house o. I
even
sleeping in the bush last night.’
‘Ha! I telling you the truth o.’
‘I thinking I’m pregnant.’
A long pause.
It lingered.
‘Nnanna, you hearing me?’
She appeared surprised at herself with the
smoothness with which she called him by
his first
name. Things have changed. She was now
carrying
his child. Might be.
‘I not very sure yet but everything looking
it.
Everything.’
‘No. Very far, I not sleeping in the bush till
next
week. Telling me your address and I will
coming
myself.’
‘Ha, see you! You not knowing I have going
to
Onitsha before to looking for Okechukwu?’
‘Lagos and Onitsha, which is big pass?’
‘Is lie. Aunty Rosa saying Onitsha is
biggest city in
African.’
She ended the call with ‘Ok. I leaving first
thing
tomorrow morning.’
Nkechi told her her call was 5 minutes.
‘How much?’
‘One-fifty.’
She handed her a crisp N500 note. ‘Giving
me my
change fast fast.
She left very early that morning. Her
younger
brother had cried when she told him. He
begged
her not to go. But she tried to explain to
him why
she must. He didn’t seem to understand
but he
finally nodded and wiped his eyes. ‘Go well,
sister,’
he said to her.
She hugged him and told him to remember
what
she’d told him about not telling their
mother.
She took a green bus to Onitsha and
boarded a
Lagos bus at Upper Iweka.
She was shocked that after she woke up the
third
time in the bus that they hadn’t yet arrived
Lagos.
She turned to the big woman sitting next to
her.
‘Madam, please we not reaching the Lagos
yet?’
The woman shook her head. ‘No. We are in
Benin
now.’
‘Ha.’ She stirred on her seat, trying to
stretch her
legs.
The woman looked at her.
‘Sorry. My bom bom scratching me.’
‘You can stand for a while,’ the woman told
her.
She was on another round of sleep when a
hand
tapped her gently.
She came awake with a start, clutching her
Ghana-
Must-Go tightly to herself.
‘Come down,’ the man told her. ‘I want to
lock the
door.’
It took a while before she realized he was
the
driver of the bus. She looked round in the
bus,
everyone has gone down.
She was terrified. ‘Hey!’ she whimpered.
‘Driver,
we have passing Lagos?’
‘This is Ore. Come down.’
‘Hey!’ She started to cry. ‘Driver, I telling
you I
going to Lagos o! I telling you this from the
beginning o! Now you carrying me to Ole,
how I
going back now, how?’
‘Come down, we are not in Lagos yet.’ The
man’s
impatience was tempered by his
amusement.
Mma stopped crying. She eyed the man.
‘You saying we not reaching Lagos yet?’
‘We have not reached,’ the man said in
Igbo.
‘Come down.’
She climbed down from the vehicle slowly,
her bag
hugged to her belly.
‘Drop your bag in the car.’
‘No. I carrying it with me.’
The man slid the door of the bus shut. ‘Go
and find
something to eat and make sure you come
back
here fast, otherwise we will leave you
behind.’
She nodded. She bought banana and
groundnut.
‘Madam, you saying this banana is two-
fifty?’ she
asked the banana seller.
She examined the bunch again. ‘Everything
two-
fifty? You stealing it?’
The woman selling the bananas smiled and
shook
her head.
They arrived Lagos in late evening, that
time of the
day when daylight seemed to be uniting
with
darkness.
The driver stopped her at Anthony Bus stop
as
Nnanna had told her.
She called him with a public phone and he
hurriedly told her he was coming, that she
should
make sure she didn’t go anywhere.
‘Where I knowing in Lagos to going?’
She waited and after about thirty minutes
and she
hadn’t seen him, she called him again.
‘Nnanna, wearing you na? Wearing you?
You
wanting police to catching me here and
putting
my picture on TV and saying I missing?’
‘Ha, t-l-a-fik kwa? Which one is tlafik
now?’
‘Oh you meaning go-slow?’
‘Ha. But motos passing here na?’
She frowned. ‘Ok.’
‘Ok. I waiting small and I calling you
again.’
She gave the phone back to the tall slim
boy
standing beside her and paid him. ‘So
calling
somebody is ten-ten naira in Lagos?’
The call boy nodded.
‘Chai. And that fatibombo Nkechi will be
collecting
thirty-thirty naira with her kpankolo phone
that
you not even hearing anything.’ She did
something like snapping her fingers. ‘Chelu,
I will
come back for her.’
Finally Nnanna came. He drove into the
space and
waved at her.
She screamed and rushed to him, throwing
herself
into him without care.
He held her. She smelt nice despite the
long
journey. He knew from the unrefined flowery
scent
that the perfume she’d used was cheap, but
the
smell was acceptably lovely.
He wanted to kiss her and she quickly
dodged his
lips

TBC...

Teenage Love. [Read it]


**PART ONE**
CHAPTER 1…….
It was a bright saturday morning
on the 7th of september 2013.
Akinola oluwasegun was walking
along a popular street in Ibadan,
Oyo state. He was dressed in a
white T-shirt and a black pant
trouser and a black vickers shoe.
He was on his way to Loyola
College, a government owned
secondary school around Agodi
gate GRA Ibadan for his WAEC GCE
exam.
He entered into the school
compound and walked towards
the school building. Being his
first paper English Language, he
had no idea of where the
examination hall was situated.
So, he had to ask for help from
other candidates who had come
the previous days for chemistry
practicals and Commerce. He
walked up to a girl seated on the
staircase reading to ask for the
help.
“Hello, good morning.” he
greeted.
“Good morning.” she replied.
“Please, are you here for exam?”
he asked.
“Yeah.” she replied.
“Okay. Please, which way is the
examination hall.” He asked.
“I don’t know. This is my first
time here.” She answered.
(disappointed) “Okay, lets ask
others the way to the exam hall.”
He adviced.
“Okay.” She replied standing up
and dusting her skirt.
*TEN MINUTES LATER*
The invigillator walked into the
exam hall carrying a green sack
with the inscription; WEST
AFRICAN EXAMINATION COUNCIL.
No 62. He was accompanied by
five teachers of the school.
A laptop was removed and with
a thumb printing device attached
to it.
“Line up for your biometrics.”
one of the teachers barked.
After the completion of the
biometrics. The candidates were
asked to sit down according to
their numbers. The answer
booklets and the question
papers were first distributed
before the attendance was
marked. The paper lasted two
and a half hours. The paper
ended by 11:30am and they
were given 3hours break before
the commencement of the paper
2&3(objectives & the Test of
Orals respectively).
Outside the examination hall,
students were seen in group,
some in fours, in fives and so on
discussing and arguing over the
just concluded paper.
Oluwasegun(segun for short)
wast sitting alone under a big
three near the school football
pitch. He was flipping through
the pages of the WAEC English
language past question. Just then
someone tapped him from
behind. He looked up and saw
his cousin Omolayo Akinola.
He stood up and hugged her.
“What are you doing here?” he
asked.
“I came to greet my friends
writing their exam here. She
answered.
“Where is your centre?”
“Ikolaba grammar school.”she
replied.
“Most of my friends are in that
centre.”he said.
“Are you the only one here?” she
asked.
“Yes, am the only one here from
my school.”he answered.
“You must be feeling lonely
o.”she said.
“Yeah”………
The gisted for like ten minutes
before Omolayo stood up to go,
“Let me introduce you to my
friends over there.” she said
pointing to a group of 2 boys
and 4 girls gisting.
He stood up and followed her
towards the group. Immediately
they saw them approach they
stopped talking.
“Where have you been? One of
her friends jummy asked
Omolayo suspiciously.
Ignoring her question. “Meet my
cousin, Segun. Segun meet my
friends.” she introduced.
“Hi guys.” he greeted.
“Hi.” They chorused.
They all hung around till it was
1:30pm, 30minutes before the
next paper.
“Bro, i think we should get going
so, we won’t be late.” Omolayo
said.
“Alright, bye. Segun answered.
Omolayo left with four of her
friends remaining two who were
also in segun’s centre. Among
which was Jummy.
–to be continued–


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Love in the air [Read it]


At Buhari administration changes like this will come







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-20 16:28:22

665 Views



China product [Read it]


A Nigerian lady got married 2 a Chinese guy, and gave birth 2 a son. Unfortunately, de baby died after 5 weeks. While everybody was crying, de lady's mother was shouting ; i knew it! i knew it!. A relative took her 2 a corner and asked her what she meant by she knew it. She said i know say China product no dey last, u no dey see their phones?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-03 10:29:00

652 Views




It been two days now,amare parents are worried about her whereabouts,they have gone to the police to lay a complain,Mr and Mrs uche,Mrs ada Marcus and maxwell were all sitted in the sitting room of amara,mrs uche has been crying her heart out and Mrs ada Marcus couldn't do nothing but to console her.

Mr uche :this is unbelievable, she has never done this kind of thing before, so when did she start all this,leaving without informing anyone

Mrs uche :Amara,Amara where are you please come back

Mrs ada Marcus :it's okey i know where ever she is now she is fine,maybe she don't want anyone to disturb her that's why she switch off her phone

Mrs uche :but that's not a good reason ne,okey who is disturbing her,who that will make her leave just like that

Mr uche :i till don't understand maxwell did both of you had a fight

Maxwell :no,i really can't explain it,it was really funny, you know amara and i haven't been seeing each other for some time now, so I was invited to a party that night and i thought it wish to go with her,i called her to inform her,she agreed and that was when I came to see her that night but she behave as if we nevered had any agreement, i tried to question her and she got angry telling me to leave the house i told her I can't, she left me in the sitting room and i stayed there,it wasn't up to 20 minutes she came out looking all dressed,she didn't tell me where she was going i asked her but I was talking to a deaf ears,i only saw her entered a car parked outside and they left, that's all I know so I don't see anything wrong in what i did,i recognised the car it was chidi car,ever since she met chidi she has been behaving weird

Mrs uche :is it not that same boy that you saw them together the other day outside

Maxwell :yes mama that's the boy

Mr uche was confused

Mr uche :which boy are you talking about

Mrs uche :it's about five or six days ago I was coming back from market when I saw maxwell outside the gate shouting, when I asked him he told me Amara locked him outside because they had some misunderstanding, well I opened the gate for him and we both went inside, i settled everything that day ooo,

Mr uche :that till don't answer my question, who is the chidi

Maxwell :chidi was the i saw hugging amara that faithful day outside the gate,i got angry and wanted to do something stupid but she quickly ran inside and lock me out.

Mr uche was shocked

Mr uche :is this true but why didn't i hear of this

Maxwell :we felt it wasn't necessary, i have forgotten about all that,now the important thing now is to fine her

Mrs ada Marcus :what if she is at the chidi place right now and we are here killing ourselves

Maxwell :i have thought about that but amara will not go there

Mr uche :but you said it was the boy that came to pick her that night

Maxwell :yes but i trust her she won't sleep at the boy place

Mr uche :and what makes you think so

Maxwell :amare knows what she is doing,she won't stay at the boy place because she knows we will find out after all she knew i know who came to pick her,probably she is in an hostel,let just hope the police find her.

Meanwhile amara was till in chidi house,chidi tried everything possible to make amara comfortable, chidi wasn't always at home but the little time he has he spent it all on amara, chidi and amara became friends again, Amara was in her room (the guest room)she was reading a novel that chidi bought for her,chidi knocked and amara told him to enter, they both look at each other smiling,chidi sat on the bed close to amara

Chidi :don't you get tried of reading

Amara :you know i love reading, it's one of my hubby

Chidi :yeah I know ,so Amara

Amara :yes

Chidi :it's not like am asking you to leave but don't you think its time for you to go back home your parents will be worried

Amara was now unhappy

Amara :i don't want to face them now,they will never understand

Chidi :i know about that but you can't stay here for long, my parents will be coming home very soon and if they met you here,i don't know

Amara :but why

Chidi :i am not in the habit of bringing women home,and if they see you they might think otherwise, you know what I mean

Amara:but I don't want to go home now,okey I could just stay in an hostel

Chidi :no amara you will not,what is really the problem, why are you running from your home,i have been asking you this question since you came here but you are refusing to tell me,what really happened that night and i won't ask again,

Amara started crying and chidi tryed to console her

Chidi :amara talk to me,i might be of help

Amara :he tryed to rape me

Chidi was confused

Chidi :maxwell tryed to rape you or wanted sex and you wasn't in the mood,was that why you had to risk your life that night

Amara :you don't get do you,he tryed to force himself on me

Chidi :maxwell is your fiance and i don't see anything wrong in a man wanting his woman but he could have just let you be till you are in the mood, wait, or maybe just maybe you haven't had sex with him yet

Amara was silent, chidi saw the answer in her eyes,it was just there,chidi felt pity and pain for her

Chidi :amara i don't understand you,if maxwell is hurting you why did you till put up with him,why did you leave me for him,why

Amara :after all what you did,i needed to pay him back for almost losing his life all because of me, i thought dating him could make me forget all about you and love him but I have tryed but it isn't working

Chidi :are you trying to say you till don't love him then why are you till with him

Amara :maxwell has done a lot for me and my family, he made me who I am today,he has everything i own,the company i work for belongs to his uncle if not for him in couldn't have had a jod now,my car,the house all belongs to him,the allowance he gives to me is even better then my salary, my parents are having a better life all because of him,you caused is chidi it was all your fault,you gave me no choice

Chidi held her knee

Chidu:amara,am sorry for all what you have went through just because of my mistake, but you never gave me the chance to explain to you the last time we saw each other, the only regret i have was i leaving you,i could have stayed and fight for you,i didn't mean to hurt him that faithful day,maxwell blocked me on my way coming back from a party, two other guys was with him,i had to protect myself, yes I beat him up but didn't shoot him i swear,i and emma left after that

Amara :wait you and emma

Chidi :he didn't tell you Emma was there,emma killed the two boys he did that trying to defend me

Amara :if emma was there why didn't you say so if what you are saying was the truth

Chidi h God amara, do you think Emman won't go to jail if i implicate him,i was even glad maxwell didn't mention him,the only reason I was free was because of my dad and the money my dad payed to keep maxwell mouth shut

Amara looked surprised

Chidi :he didn't tell you that also, oh you thought he just decided to let me go after he has caught me in his nest.

Amara :what about the finger print on the gun

Chidi :i touched the gun when I took it from him and throw it away, it might be possible he shut himself.

Amara :he couldn't do that

Chidi :are you sure of that

Amara :but why

Chidi :you till don't get it do you,he wanted me out of the way,and he had to make you get me out of your mind and becomes his,and his plan worked,you easily fell for it,you see all this he is doing for you is to keep you all to himself,i know figures everything out he tryed raping you because seeing me back was something he wouldn't take and maybe if he had sex with you or you got pregnant you will quickly marry him and there won't be a chance for me then.

Amara felt like killing herself she couldn't take all what chidi was telling her,she cried her heart out

Amara :how can he do this to me

Chidi hug her

Chidi :ah ah stop it,you should be happy you haven't married him yet,now you can start all over again

Amara :but how, what do I do now

Chidi :do you really want my advice

Amara:yes please help me

Chidi :amara i will help you but you have to be clever, maxwell is a very intelligent person when it comes to games like this,you have to pretend nothing happened

Amara wipe away her tear

Amara key

Chidi :you will go home, accept any things they say okey,just try to make peace with your parents and please try not to make maxwell suspicious, when you are done with that,let me know

Amara :and then

Chidi :just relax work on this first and in no time all will be fine.

Amara smiled

Amara :thanks you very much for everything

Chidi :shhhhhh,enough of that,so are you okey now

Amara :i think so

Chidih you look more beautiful when you cry

Amara laughed

Amara :really

Chidi :yeah,you will always be that queen to my heart

They both starred at each other

Amara felt safe for the first time in many years,her mind was now determine to end the relationship with maxwell but she has to play by the rules of chidi,she got prepared to leave chidi house the next day and by the next day afternoon chidi dropped her at home,they promised to keep in touch, amare saved chidi number in code because she couldn't want maxwell to know she was talking with chidi.

******TO BE CONTINUED ******

DROP YOUR COMMENTS AND
READ NEXT EPISODE

>>

IJE(The journey)
Episode 5
I started making hair for students, to carter for
myself and it was taking its toll on my studies.
Three hundred level was a very difficult time for
me. I could barely feed myself, and buy books. I
had some offers, to join girls to go for those
types of parties where you are paid for coming. I
always declined. Not because I was spiritual, I
was never a spiritual person. But because I
didn’t want to go through the pain of having a
man touch me. I had vivid dreams of being raped
by Uncle Amos regularly.
Then I met Daniel. I was in my final year in
school, and still struggling to make ends meet. I
went to a cybercafé in school, with the aim of
searching for my siblings on facebook. I found
John, but didn’t find hope and Andrew. I sent
John messages, and I was excited about hearing
from him, after all these years. In my
excitement, I ran into Daniel. He was coming
into the café while I was going out. For the first
time in my life, I felt an attraction to a man.
Apparently he felt it too. We exchanged numbers,
and became fast friends.
Daniel was not a student, he told me he had
finished his university education three years
before. Our love blossomed. For the first time
since the death of Mrs. Anna, I didn’t have to
worry about money. Daniel catered for all my
needs and he became my world. I told him about
my life and he was very understanding.
Three months into our relationship, I spent the
night with Daniel and he changed my perception
of men. The next morning, we were awoken by a
cold bucket of water, being poured on us. I didn’t
understand what was going on, until I heard
Daniel apologising and pleading. Daniel was
married and at closer look, I found my missing
sister Hope…. Daniel’s wife.

>> Episode 6 -

whatsapp chat [Read it]


A Whatsapp conversation between Akpos and his girlfriend:


SONIA: Baby, How are you doing?


AKPOS: I’m fine sweetie and you?


SONIA: I’m fine, but I need something from you baby.


AKPOS: What do you need sweetie?


SONIA: Can you please SEND me 15k? I need to buy some accessories.


AKPOS: Sure! No problem sweetie, k,k,k,k,k,k,k,k,k,k,k,k,k,k,k.


SONIA: Huh! What’s this?


AKPOS: That’s the 15k you said I should send to you.


SONIA: YOU ARE MAD!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-28 15:50:42

798 Views



Full Bed Bath [Read it]


The nursing student, on her first rotation in the ICU, had to give a patient a full bed bath. She had never given one before and was terribly nervous about it.To make matters worse, the patient was a gentleman in his late sixties who had been admitted after a heart attack. As se nervously set her equipment up, she confessed to the patient that she had never given a full bed bath before.“I’ll tell you what,” he said, “how about if you wash as far down as possible, and as far up as possible, and then I’ll wash possible?”Related

The FA has released new rules just to save
Chelsea from relegation.
See Rules Below:
1. Chelsea will be allowed to filed 13players
during home games and 15 during away
games.
2. If they win 2 consequtive corners kicks they
will be awarded a penalty.
3. Any attempt on goal will be treated as a
goal
4. If a Chelsea player is fouled, that’s a
straight penalty regardless of their position on
the pitch.
5. They will be allowed to make 13
Substitution.
6. They will be awarded 6 points for every
match won. 4 points draw and 2 points if they
loose
7. They will be allowed to field 2 or 3
goalkeepers at the same time.
8. Any attempts to tackle or mark Hazard will
result in a penalty
9. Finally, Jose Mourinho will be allowed to
Instruct the players inside the pitch as the
match is ongoing.
I’m a Chelsea fan too… Its just a joke oo.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-02 09:18:42

517 Views



aaaabeeg [Read it]


there was a very troublesome boy called Bj.he was feared a lot.One day,he misbehaved a little bit 2 much and some soldiers dealt with him n d following conversation began
Bj:Abeg,waiting I do ona,(crying shamelessly). na waka I just dey oo.aaaah.shay na sence ona say I no get.I done get am na,abeg.
Soldiers:wat of d girl wey we c u dey rape na
Bj:me,rape girl?,as as how na?na play we dey oo


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-27 11:08:04

149 Views



Oh my son [Read it]


While at the park one day, a woman sat down next to me on a bench near a playground. “That’s my son over there,” i said, pointing to a little boy in a black sweater who was swinging. “He’s a fine looking boy,” i said. “That’s my son on the swing in the blue sweater.” Then, looking at his watch, he called to his son. “What do you say we go, james?” James pleaded, “Just five more minutes, Dad. Please? Just five more minutes.” i nodded and james continued to swing to his heart’s content. Minutes passed and i stood and called again to my son. “Time to go now?” Again james pleaded, “Five more minutes, Dad. Just five more minutes.” i smiled and said, “Okay.” “My goodness , you certainly are a patient father,” the woman responded. I smiled and then said, “My older son chris was killed by a drunk driver last year while he was riding his bike near here. I never spent much time with chris and now I’d give anything for just five more minutes with him. I’ve vowed not to make the same mistake with james. “He thinks he has five more minutes to swing. The truth is . . . I get five more minutes to watch him play.”


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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If you think your wife’s jewellery is an investment, try selling a few pieces.Related

Akpos woke up in the middle of the night and found her wife still awake.
"Honey, you look disturbed, what the matter?" Akpos asked.
"Darling, I understand you love and care for me so much but my problem is that you don't THINK nor CARE about my family member." replied the wife with a calm voice.
Akpos said to her " don't worry, Let's sleep, I will try and do something about it"
Few days later
The wife woke up in the midnight to see Akpos sitting on bed, thinking.
"Darling, what's troubling you?" asked the wife.
Akpos replied calmly "Ever since your junior sister started living with us, I have been THINKING about her"
"Really, what exactly about her have you been THINKING?" the wife asked in excitement.
Akpos said "what else if not her fat buttocks"

Do you blame Akpos?
If you are the wife what will you do?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-16 18:17:50

1365 Views




NNENNA=>WRITE UP BY DINDY
do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission,thank you for reading this write up...
Nnenna a beautiful young lady, I think i like,she is so fun to be with,an exciting human being,I think I am falling for her little by tittle,she is a very understanding person,soft in nature,she has a very good looking eyes it could make you go wow and nuts.
She likes talking in a very sensible way,she likes makeup,she like kids I think,she like laughing and I like it when she laughs,I enjoy her company,she is smart and intelligent.
She is very emotional and friendly,she believes in people,she always want everything to be alright,she is a great star,she could be a model if she wanted,she is a good girl,she is irreplaceable,she loves nature.
No girl can smile or laugh like her,she is unique in every figure,she is incredible in everyway,her hair is well designed,she is loveable,even if she has her bad side sometimes she always finds a way to seek for your forgiveness if she hurts you
NNENNA AKA MAMA PAPA AKA MOTHER FATHER,SHE IS A TRUE WOMAN.
Nnenna is my assistant she writes stories and write up like i do,even better,her stories and write up will soon be posted by me,please fans show her love when I start posting them.thank you.
MY NAME IS NNAMDI AKA DINDY AND I WROTE THIS WRITE UP.LEARN FROM WHAT YOU READ NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND.THANKS FOR READING.......WRITE UP BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI.........whatsapp number:07087750433.... [email protected]@gmail.com or [email protected] facebook name:Ossy Andy Nnamdi.......Skype: 07087750433 or [email protected]








NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Pls kindly judge this matter.....I was in a taxi,
chatting with
my friend on whatsapp and suddenly discovered
that the
man sitting beside me was reading my
conversation. Since I
did not want to embarrass the man, so l decided
to change
the topic "Abeg oga, please tell Kabiru Sokoto or
Abu Qaqa
that I only took two of the bombs we just
manufactured for
this operation. Let them know as well that I may
find it
difficult to get to the target place before the
bombs
explode because there is terrible traffic jam now
but
nevertheless, I am sure casualty figure will be
high since we
are five in our taxi and all the vehicles in the
traffic will be
affected too. We have less than 3 minutes for the
bomb to
go off bye- bye and take care of my parents and
siblings as
agreed. The Man, without allowing the taxi to stop
quickly
opened the taxi door and jumped out and
eventually died,
pls who killed him?.. Me or Amebo?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-10 03:43:21

200 Views



AKPOS QUESTION [Read it]






One of our co-worker went missing
for a few hours and we tore up the
place looking for him. The boss
finally found him fast asleep. Rather
than waking him, he quietly placed a
note on the man's chest:
"As long as you're asleep, you have a
job but as soon as you wake up,
you're fired!"
Should this man wake up or
continue sleeping?
Drop ur comment fast 


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-19 12:10:27

549 Views




When akpos was a house boy in a house in Warri, his oga and his wife argued one day.

Wife: Love making is pleasure!

Oga: Love making is work

Wife: Love making is pleasure.

Oga: I don`t blame you, you don`t know what men are passing through.

Wife: All I know is that love making is pleasure, whether you like it or not.

With this, the argument continued.

Oga decided to call Akpos to hear his own side of what they were arguing about.

Oga: Erm, Akpos! He called.


Akpos: Yes Oga! Akpos answered.


Oga: Is love making pleasure, or work?

Akpos:  Love making is pleasure oga o o, If love making is work oga, you will be calling me to come and work on your wife day and night. Abi na lie I talk?


HAHAHAHAHHAHA One word for akpos baba!!!
Don't be enemy of laughter, please share with your friends on facebook, twitter google +  and let the fun keeps rolling. Nairajokes.com cares about your happiness



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-19 08:58:13

1958 Views




Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!". The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-14 08:56:57

266 Views




Khuda Hum Ko


Khuda Hum Ko Aisi Khudayi Na De;

Ki Apne Siwa Kuch Dikhayi Na De;


Khatawar Samjhey Gi Duniya Tujhe;

Ab Itni Zayada Safai Na De;


Hanso Aj Itna Ki Is Shor Me;

Sada Siskiyon Kee Sunayi Na De;


Ghulami Ko Barkat Samjhney Lagein;

Aseeron Ko Aisi Rihayi Na De;


Khuda Aise Ehsas Ka Naam Hai;

Rahe Sahmne Aur Dikhayi Na De;


Mujhe Aisi Jannat Nahi Chahiye;

Jahan Se Madina Dikhayi Na Dey!Related

A stressed man was in his office thinking deeply. Suddenly one man ran inside shouting "Peter, Peter your daughter Tonia just had an accident and died"
Shocked and confused, He jumped out of his office through the window. As soon as he does, he remembered his office is on the 7th floor, as he descends lower, he remembered he doesn't have a daughter called Tonia, still descending he remembered he's not even married, just 2 floors b4 he hits the ground, he remembered his name isn't even Peter...!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-10 00:00:33

684 Views



LOVE [Read it]



A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on
a motorcycle.
Girl: Slow down. I'm scared.
Guy: No this is fun.
Girl: No its not. Please, it's too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down! Guy: Now give
me a big hug. (Girl hugs him)
Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on?
It's bugging me.
In the paper the next day: A motorcycle had
crashed into a building because of brake failure.
Two people were on the motorcycle, but only one
survived. The truth was that halfway down the
road, the guy realized that his brakes broke, but
he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he
had her say she loved him, felt her hug one last
time, then had her wear his helmet so she would
live even though it meant he would die.

That what is known as true love


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-24 21:00:23

743 Views




I slept at JC’s apartment that night coz it was late to
go home.i can’t stop thinking through out the night
the event that happened.
Heeeh!two hefty guys just die like that.what would
have been my faith if eventually i was with them for
the operation.maybe i would have been one of the victims that was killed coz i have no experiece .i can’t
continue this way.i have to do something fast.my life
is at risk.
THE NEXT DAY…
The money was shared.everyone got there own share
including seyi.i was given the sum of 300k.that was a huge sum of money.isn’t it?just a night and i was 300k
richer.what an easy way to make money but i was very
scared to take the money.if i take this money that
means i am automatically the member of the gang.no
going back.should i take this money and stay with
them or should i reject the money and run away. Eerm Jc.*i called him* i want to go home and take
some stuffs i will be back.
JC.what do you want to take?.*he gave me a
suspicious look*.
ME.eerm.i got a call that my father is sick.so i want to
go home and see whether we can take him to the hospital.
JC.when are you gonna be back?.coz we have an
operation tonight.which will fetch us alot of money.
(another operation again.God forbid.i am not ready to
die like sir jay and ororo).
ME.i will be back in the evening.what time is the operation?.
JC.10pm no africa time.we are going for one senator
chike.according to the information we got.senator
chike is a business icon.there was a brief case which
contains millions of naira.which was sent to him by his
son from abroad.as i am speaking to you right now. the money is laying cool in his room.the money will be
transfered to the bank tomorrow but this night we are
goin to his house.although he has some security men
guarding him but that won’t be a problem.i will take
care of that.all i want us to do is to get ready for the
operation.hope am understood. ME.yes boss.let me go so that i can take care of the
situation and return early.(fear was writting all over
my body.two guys were shot dead yesterday.and
tonight again another operation….no way.
I made to leave when JC called me back and said.
JC.fresh fresh fresh.how many times i called you?.hope you are not trying to play some game on us.hope you
are not trying to run away from your duty.*he laugh
sarcastically* even though you runaway we will surely
get you.am just trying to advice you.don’t try to
excape from us.coz if you do.we will come for your
family members.i know we are friends and i known you will not like to be my enermy.i am more
dangerous than you think.even if you call the cops for
us.you are just wasting your time coz they won’t and
will never get us. so use your head and do the right
thing. I know that you have a girlfriend that you won’t
like to loss.i know everything about you.so there will be no hiding place for you if you try to excape.our
men are all over the town.am just warning you not to
start what you won’t finishe.
what a threat.that won’t stop me.but were will i
go.were will i hide from the notorious Jc.he is
dangerious no dout.but his threat are nothing.wait wait how did he known that i have a girlfriend.he
threaten to kill her if i excape.what am i goin to
do.should i invite the police.no that won’t be a good
idear.i love my family so much.i don’t want any one to
hurt them.oh God what have i done to myself.what am
i going to do now?.if i run back to the village.they might come after me.if i run far away to another
town.eerm that won’t be a bad idear.but how am i
going to convince charity to come with me.should i
tell her the truth.what of if she brake up with me if
eventually i tells her.noo i can’t afford to loss her.she is
the only girl that loves me unconditional.hope she will understand.*i concluded*.
ME.alright Jc.i don’t have any intention of runing
away.i will be back.
JC.i trust you my guy.we will be expecting you.are you
leaving your money here?.
ME.yes.(i don’t need the bloody money.you can go to hell with it).just help me and keep it if i come back.i
will take care of it.
I left Jc’s house and went away.i removed the sim card
on my phone and brake it.i went and purchase
another new one.atleast for now jc won’t reach me
again.. I went straight to my house and freshen up.some
hours later.i dialled charity’s number.she pick
immediately.after i told her it was me.i pleaded to her
to come to my house that we have something
important to discuse.she agreed and promise to come
later in the day.
THIS IS WERE MY ADVENTURE JUST STARTS..


>>

The teacher asked Akpos, "Why is your cat at school today Akpos?"


Akpos replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am
going to eat that p*ssy once Akpos leaves for school today!'"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-16 08:10:48

154 Views




During Exam…

Madam: Why are you so confused..?


Pappu: *Silent*


Madam: Did you forget your pen…?


Pappu: *Silent*


Madam: Forgot roll no…?


Pappu: *Silent*


Madam: Forgot calculator..?


Pappu: Oye chup kar ja maata..!! Yaha parchi galat subject ki le aya, tujhe pen, pencil ki agg lagi hai..!!!Related

A woman suddenly wakes up at the dead of the night to find her husband missing from their bed.

Alarmed, she puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table – with a cup of coffee in front of him.

He appears in deep thought, just staring at the wall…

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

“What’s the matter dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room. “Why are you down here at this time of night?”

The husband looks up from his coffee, and solemnly says: “Do you remember 25 years ago, when we were dating, and you were only 15?”

“Yes I do,” she replies.

The husband pauses – the words were not coming easily: “Do you remember when your father caught us while we were dating together?”

“Yes, I remember,” said the wife, taking a chair beside him.

The husband continued. “Do you remember when your dad shoved the shotgun in my face and threatened: ‘Either you marry my daughter, or I’ll send you to jail for 25 years?”

“I remember that too,” she replied softly, feelings of affection swelling in her…

He wiped another tear from his cheek, sighed deeply and added sadly: “Well, today I would have been released…”Related

JOKE part 2 BY DINDY
It was a cool wonderful Sunday evening, I was chatting with my girlfriend then this following conservation took place.
Girl: "Dindy love can I ask you a question"..
Dindy: "Yes dear go on".
Girl: "What habits are holding you back from success?".
.
.
.
Dindy: Thinks deeply with all seriousness then replies..."Meeting you"................lol
#DINDY WROTE THIS=> facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
part 3 coming soon


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-09-05 00:00:59

184 Views



Words of Wisdom [Read it]


Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater.If you give her a sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.So, if you give her any aggravation, be ready to receive a ton of stuff in return.Related

Hi friend, let's have a flash back fun.

Tell us the title of the joke that really crack your ribs most. That joke that makes you laugh each time u remember it. You can equally give us the summary.

Mine is "Akpos and his Dad"
When his dad asked him to iron the car.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-19 17:49:37

331 Views




NAMELESS (EPISODE THREE) STORIES DA VIBA
Please do not share without taking permission from us, thanks for reading.
:
:
:
Lady Miriam wasn't just a woman who never got what she wanted, her un-classable status and personality of glowing elegance made her stand out among her peers.
Her husband; though steady at his words (sometimes) took her words firmly. She's always up with the right decision which most times is a mixture of emotions and facts.
He loved her for her solid nature and had always let her have her way.
'If this baby would bring happiness and make things fall in place, I'd rather give Miriam the support she needs than to let her shrink in misery', he thought.
Mr Godson loved the baby --his oval face reads lovely with a refreshing smile that evokes the thought of a promising future--.
He had become an integral part of the family. Every love and care they had in them were showered on the baby with no reservations.
He grew stronger as days went by -- enjoying real care and love just like any true mother would wish her son receives--.
Days came and went, weeks took the same course, months also passed by and in almost one year; seemly strange things started to happen.
Mrs Miriam just wished she would get a life by working out more often to bring a halt to this mess --a new state of uncontrollable dizziness and obesity--.
--Had she suddenly become so happy that it reads all over her skin?--.
--Could it be her carelessness that led to this sudden change in body mass?--
Her husband had reminded her that her quest for elegance might ruin the joy they shared.
He didn't loose his job anyway, but he lost his wife to sickness and her illness made him stay home more often to look after his family of two.
After the check-up at the hospital that tuesday morning, Mr Godson drove home gently not spitting out a word.
'We'd get the results tomorrow then you'd receive adequate treatment and maybe by then life would bounce back to normal', he finally whispered with a faint smile on his face.
She heard him.
Lady Miriam's........to be continue
This story is brought to you by Stories Da Viba and was written by;
1). Nonsegzy
2). Evybliss
3). Princeprezide
4). Dindy
5). Blexxybaby
6). Nelly
Watch out for episode 4, your comments are needed... Please like our page on facebook "Stories Da Viba".



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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