Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:

NYSC relocation [Read it]


if u where posted to Niger state and u want to redeploy to any other state of ur choice please call this number 08037573770


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-04 06:51:39

195 Views




Doctor: I would advise you, Madam, to take frequent baths, plenty of fresh air and dress in cool gowns.

Husband (an hour later): What did the doctor say?

Wife: He said I ought to go to the Bahamas; and afterwards to the mountains and to buy some new light gowns at once!Related

the late king [Read it]


The late king of my community had ten wild dogs.
He used them to torture and eat any of his
servants who made a mistake. One of the
servants gave an opinion which was wrong, and
the king didn’t like it at all. So he ordered that
the servant be thrown to the dogs.
The servant said, “I served you for ten years, and
you do this to me? Please give me ten days
before throwing me to those dogs!”
The king agreed.
In those ten days, the servant went to the guard
who looks after the dogs and told him he would
like to serve the dogs for the next ten days. The
guard was baffled but agreed, and the servant
started feeding the dogs, cleaning for them,
bathing them, and providing all sorts of comfort
for them.
When the ten days were over, the king ordered
that the servant be thrown to the dogs for his
punishment. When he was thrown in, we were all
amazed to see the ravenous dogs only licking the
feet of the servant!
The king, baffled at what he was seeing, said,
”What has happened to my dogs?”
The servant replied, "I served the dogs for only
ten days, and they didn’t forget my service. Yet I
served you for a whole ten years and you forgot
all, at my first mistake!"
The king realised his mistake and ordered the
servant to be set free.
This post is a message to all those who forget
the good things a person did for them as soon as
the person makes a mistake towards them. Don’t
put out the history that is filled with good
because of a mistake you don’t like.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul.

-Swami VivekanandaRelated

PLS DNT READ THIS...people go b lyk "who b dis guy sef"....NW U DON START TO READ if u no finish am mek ah shit bag...
poor old woman called a christian radio station...narratin her predicament poverty and old age
now one evil man listening to this decided to sieze d opportunity for his manipulation..taking down d contact and adress he called his secretary ordering 2 bags of rice beans &garri...clothes huge more and other valubles to be taken to d woman on this note

*when she asks of d source...tel her itz d devil*
the woman recieved d itemz fell to d floor praisin GOD and shedding tears of joy...
the secretary was annoyed "DONT U WANT KNOW WHO EVEN SENT IT FIRST OF ALL"
the woman replied "i dnt care to know my dear...CUZ WHEN GOD ORDERS..EVEN THE DEVIL OBEY.
the secretary was broke to her bones and began shedding tears
_____*
if u lyk.. laf
buh if u believe GOD WIL ORDER UR MIRACLE HELPER to locate u b4 dis month run off
simply like dis, share and comment A VERY BIG AmEn#
___lil-j







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-28 15:27:30

515 Views




One of the side effects of Viagra is a headache. Every time, I take a pill, my wife gets a headache!Related

God Answered [Read it]


God Answered ...

A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication for her daughter.
When returning to her car she found she had locked her keys in the car. She was in a hurry to get home to her sick daughter, she didn't know what to do, so she called her home and told the baby sitter what had happened and she did not know what to do.
The baby sitter told her that her daughter was getting worse. She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."
The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car.
Then she looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this." So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head. The woman thought, "Great God. This is what you sent to help me?"
But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful. The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car, I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car."
He said, "SURE." He walked over to the car, and in less than one minute the car was opened. She hugged the man and through her tears she said,"THANK YOU SO MUCH..... You are a very nice man."
The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour."
The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud..... "THANK YOU GOD FOR SENDING ME A PROFESSIONAL!"

May God send a professional to help you in time of need....AMEN


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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MARA episode 11 [Read it]


There was a knock at the door and a tall, slim, teenage and two small boys came in with a basket and a polythene bag.
“Good morning doctor” the girl greeted me in an almost sweet manner
“Morning dearest. How are you?” I replied
“I am fine ma” she replied
The two boys went and positioned themselves at the sides of the bed.
Glory smiled
“These are my children.” She said and I smiled
“They are very lovely” I said
“If you say so” she replied, bluntly
“I am very serious now. Your children are lovely, loveable and good looking”
I said and she winked at me
“Stop it” she whispered, trying to shush me up
I was dazed
“What’s your name lovely?” I faced her daughter and she looked down, fumbling at her dress.
“Taiwo” she said and I held her shoulder, pressing them softly.
She cringed
But I smiled
“Taiwo, please go out with your brothers while I discuss with mummy” I said and they obliged
I went close to Mrs. Olowo
“Why were you trying to stop me from talking?” I asked and she looked offended a bit
“I don’t like the way you were praising them in their presence. It is very wrong!” she said, closing her eyes to everything I would have said to defend myself
I smiled and tried to hold her hands
“When you praise the children especially young girls, they tend to become very arrogant and then they become immoral” she said and I practically laughed
“No wonder!” I said and she looked at me, her forehead wrinkled because of the frown on her face.
“What?”
“She winced at my touch,
embarrassed by my compliments of her body and oh…no wonder!” I exclaimed again.
I just wondered where some mothers get their orientations from about the girl-child upbringing
“So what?” she asked
“What you don’t know is that if you don’t tell her now, she would have people to tell her out there. The guys you are trying to shield her from would be the same people who would tell them about things in their bodies they had never even known about their bodies” I explained and she could only look on
“Hmmmm” she said, not so convinced
The door opened
“Dr. Flora, the Consultant wants to see you now” a nurse came to inform me
“Thanks Ennie” I said to her and smiling, she left.
“I think your kids have brought you some food. Try to eat. I will see you later.”
As I left the ward, her children entered and the door was closed.
I was tempted to go close to the door again and eavesdrop.
“What food is here?” she asked
“Rice, pepper sauce and goat meat. There is pap and moin-moin too” the daughter said and I was bemused
I thought she was supposed to be poor
“Inside the nylon her is cotton wool, more cannulas, syringes and tissue papers. She said she would see you in the evening” the daughter explained on
Oh, someone was helping!
“This Mrs. Hasiya o! Oh my God! What can I say to her but that you bless her for me? What else oh Lord?” she said, faintly
“She even gave us Semovita and Ogbonno Soup last night. Mummy Uku Amsin still came yesterday” she said and I heard a long hiss
“What was she looking for? Only looking for how members would fill their churches and not concerned about her welfare. I hate those kinds of Christians”
“She wanted to buy chinchin as usual” Taiwo said and the small boys laughed
“I wonder why some Christians find it difficult to help their so called brethren when they cant be there for them in times of need, especially the rich ones! Ah! People of other religions are doing better than them any time, any day!” Mrs. Olowo said again, somehow pained
My heart was crushed!
I was as guilty of what they were saying as much as the Rev. Mummy.
Most times we are carried away by winning souls and getting people free from some vices while we neglect their physical needs. What they need to make their faith grow!
God have mercy!
“God will bless her for me. When I had nowhere to go to for your NECO exams fee, she came in and paid it all. If not, that is how Kehinde would have disgraced me totally. Did she even return the money to the guy?” I heard her ask
“She said she did”
“But did she?” I heard her mummy ask, raising her voice
“No. she bought a new phone” I heard her say silently and I smiled
That should be expected!
As I straightened to start going, the nurse ran towards me again.
“Madam, there is an emergency.”
I followed immediately and set to work immediately.
“Why would you attempt abortion with a hanger for goodness’ sake” I said as I sanitized my hands
I never imagined that I would do any surgical operation that day but I just finished one almost life threatening one
……..
“I told her not to abort it o but I was shocked when she suddenly started bleeding in my shop this evening” a young guy with a hairstyle like agama lizard said


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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funny lion [Read it]


A man met a lion in d bush, he knelt down, closed his eyes & started praying. When he opend his eyes, he saw d lion kneeling in front of him & was praying too. He was shocked. He asked d lion "Are u a Christian"? The lion replied "Mumu. Dn't u pray b4 u eat"? D man fainted. Hapi val all.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-13 19:47:04

441 Views




A girl ws passing by, and saw Her boy friend standing by the A T M machine,she immediately hid Her self some where and sent a romantic text thus:honey if you r sleeping right now send me ur number,if u r laughing send me ur laughter, if u r eating send me some food, if u r withdrawing from the A T M machine send me some money, Her boy friend saw the message replies, ':i am in the toilet what should I send for you?!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-11-30 13:13:53

254 Views




LETTER FROM A MOTHER TO SON....Contd.; Your father has anoda job. He has two men under him. He is cutting grass in d cemetary. By d way, i took ur sister 2 [email protected] club's pool side.D manager told her dat 2 pieces z nt allowed in his club.We were confused as 2 which piece we should remove.Ur sister had a baby this morning,i haven't found out whether it is a boy or a girl so i wouldn't know whether u r an aunt or uncle.Ur uncle fell in d nearby well,some men tried 2 pull him out,but he fought dem off bravely nd drowned.We cremated him nd mourned 4 three days. Ur best friend is no more,he died trying 2 fulfil his father's last wishes.His father had wished 2 be buried in d sea after he died.And ur friend died while in d process of digging a grave 4 his father.There isn't much news dis tym.Nothing much has happened. Love,mum. Pls son I was going 2 send u some money but by d tym i realised, i had already sealed off this letter.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-07 11:33:29

394 Views




A man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at a fast food place. He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and as he watched, the older gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries until each had half of them.

The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.

The young man decided to ask if they would let him buy another meal for them so that they didn`t have to split theirs.

The old gentleman said, “Oh, no. We`ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50.”

The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, to which she replied, “Not yet. It`s his turn to use our the teeth.Related

BLIND BY NATURE THE LAST EPISODE 25 (STORY BY DINDY)
please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story..

.....3 MONTHS LATER.....

Mr Smart: "Sam!, Jack!", he called his sons.
Sam & Jack: "Yes dad", they replied simultaneously as they came out from the room they were in.
Mr Smart: "Where is your mum?", he asked them.
Jack: "I have no idea dad", he said separating his hands in a 'i don't know' manner.
Sam: "I think she went to go get something from the supermarket", he said to his dad.
Mr Smart: "ok, when she gets back, tell her that I went to pick Julian from the airport", he said as he picked up his car key which was on the table where he dropped it.
Jack: "dad, has Julian arrived?", he asked wanting to find out about his sister.
Mr Smart: "No she hasn't, but will in the next one hour", he said to Jack.
Jack: "If she's gonna arrive an hour from now, why do you wanna leave now?", he asked
Sam: "oh, this boy, stop asking unnecessary questions", he said to Jack.
Mr Smart: "[Laughs] Sam don't mind Jack, he has started fooling around again", he said as he walked slowly towards the front door.
Mr Smart: "[Stops walking] That reminds me", he said turning back to Jack and Sam.
Mr Smart: "You guys should decorate Julian's room", he said.
Sam and Jack: "Ok dad", they said.
Mr Smart: "Ok then, see you guys later", he said as he left from his house to the airport.
............MEAN WHILE..........
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Celestine had moved to his new house, which was spacious with colourful decorations that he couldn't see because of his fate. The house was a one story-house with a well designed structure and surrounding.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> He had everything he needed in the house (thanks to the help of Mr Smart), he owned his own little business which grew under the space of two months due to high demand by customers.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Celestin and Julian had been talking over the phone since she travelled for the operation. He was expecting Julian that very day, but he didn't know what time she would be arriving. He was in his sitting room alone thinking of what he would do.
[CELESTIN'S THOUGHTS]=> Finally, my love would be coming back. I need to get something very nice for her, that she would love so much.
[CELESTIN'S THOUGHTS]=> Now that she can see, I really need to buy her something that she would love more that anything.
Celestin: "Yes!, I know what to buy", he shouted out loud.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Celestin picked up his phone which he dropped beside him, knowing how to use his phone very well (although he was blind), he called a taxi man who was assigned to him by Mr Smart.
Celestin: "Hello", he said to the taxi man at the other end.
Taxi man: "Hello, sir", he said.
Celestin: "Where're you?", he asked.
Taxi man: "I'm driving pass your house right now, do you want me to take you somewhere?", he asked Celestin.
Celestin: "Oh yes, I wanna get something from the shopping mall", he said.
Taxi man: "Ok sir, I will be waiting out side.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Immediately Celestin dropped the call, he heard a car horn which came from out side. He knew it was the taxi man, so he picked up his wallet which he had kept on the table, then he took his guard stick with his right hand and walked out his house locking the front door before leaving.
........AN HOUR LATER.......
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian had already arrived into the country and she was filled with happiness, not because she could see everything and (for the first time) would see her dad, mum and brothers in real life, but because she knew she was going to see and met Celestin her one true love. As she was looking around, her phone rang.
Julian: "Hello dad", she said.
Mr Smart: "Hello dear", he said to her.
Julian: "Dad, where are you?", she asked.
Mr Smart: "Dear, I'm stuck in traffic and I don't think I'm gonna reach there in an hour time", he said to Julian.
Julian: "Ah, ok dad, I will board a taxi", she said as she carried her luggage along with her, heading out the airport.
Mr Smart: "Good, I think that would be better", he said.
Mr Smart: "Are you sure you can find your way around?", he asked her.
Julian: "Sure dad, remember the lessons and online research I did?", she asked.
Mr Smart: "Oh yea, my pocket paid the price. Do you have the house address?", he asked.
Julian: "Yes I do, Sam sent it to me", she said to her dad.
Mr Smart: "Ok, your brothers and mum are really excited", he said.
Julian: "We have been talking through skype since dad", she said.
Mr Smart: "I know but they still miss you, well ok then", he said.
Julian: "Ok bye, see you when you've escaped the traffic old man [smiles]", she said teasing her dad.
Mr Smart: "Oh!, this girl you have started again, I'm gonna....", he said but couldn't finish his words because Julian ended the call.
[WRITE SPEAKS]=> Julian walked out of the airport slowly and stopped a taxi.
Julian: "Hy taxi!!", she shouted and a taxi man park in front of her, then she entered with her luggage.
Taxi man: "Where're you going to?", he asked Julian.
Julian: "Here is the address", she said and then gave the taxi man her phone to see the address.
Taxi: "Ok, this place ain't too far", he said then kicked off his engine.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> As the driver drove quietly, Julian was busy thinking of something..
[JULIAN'S THOUGHTS]=> Should I go home first? Or should I surprise Celestin. I really want celestin to be the first person I see with my sight. Thank God Sam also sent Celestin's address, I better tell the driver to change direction.
Julian: "Driver, please I wanna go somewhere else", she said making the driver to park on a spot to listen to what she said.
Taxi man: "Ok, where is the address?", he asked.
Julian: "Here it is", she said giving her phone once again to the driver.
Taxi man: "Ok, it would take us 30mins to get to that place", he said.
Julian: "[Smiles] Great!", she exclaimed.
.........30 MINS LATER.......
Taxi man: "We have arrived", he said to Julian.
Julian: "Are you sure this is the place?", she asked.
Taxi man: "Yes I'm sure, this house number is 21, which is the house number I saw on the address you gave me", he said convincing her.
Julian: "Ok, thanks", she said then came down the taxi with her luggage.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> She came down the taxi and dipped her hand into her hand bag, then brought out some cash and get it to the driver. After counting his money the driver drove off.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> She took her luggage and went straight to the gate of Celestin's house, which was slightly closed. She opened it properly and went into the compound.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> When she got to the front door, she knocked but got no response, so she tried turning the door handle and it opened.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> She entered inside and found the places scattered. She gently threw her luggage on a chair right beside the entrance of the house, then she made a presiding step forward wanting to know what caused such happening.
Julian: "Celestin love", she called out gently perceiving an old smell from the past.
Julian: "This smell reminds me of the time Celestin had an accident, but how came I smell it here", she said with a wondering mind.
Julian: "Ahhh!", she screamed in pain as a silent small bullet Pierced into her guts.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian fell to the ground looking at the person who just gunned her, blood gushed out her guts and tears came down her eyes.
.......MEAN WHILE........
Celestin: "Do you think she would love this?", he asked the taxi driver who accompanied him to the shopping mall.
Taxi driver: "Sure she would, no girl can resist it at all", said the driver as he came to a stop right in front of Celestin's house.
Celestin: "Ok good, I guess I'm right in front of my house right?", he asked the driver.
Taxi driver: "Yes sir you are", he replied to Celestin.
Celestin: "I really appreciate your help for me", he said as he gently opened the door and came down the taxi.
Taxi driver: "you're welcome sir, anytime you need my help just call me", said the driver.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> After they spoke, the driver drove off and Celestin walked towards his house using his guard stick to lead his way, with what he bought for Julian in his right hand.
[WRITER SPEAKS] When he got to the gate of his house, he used his guard stick to push it open (which he always does). When he got in, he turned again then used his guard stick to shot it close.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> He walked straight towards his front door (blindly), as he dipped his right hand into his pocket, to bring out his house key.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> He inserted the key into the door lock, but it was free which was not meant to be. He became afraid because he wondered who could have broken into his house.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Immediately he entered into his house, he step on something thick, he felt it underneath the shoe he wore.
Voice: "Hello my love", said the voice harshly.
Celestin: "[Afraid ] Who's there!", he shouted in fear.
Voice: "It's me my love", said the voice from a distant.
Celestin: "[Afraid] Tell me who you are!", he shouted.
Voice: "[Laughing] If I don't tell you, what're you gonna do blindy?", said the voice very harshly.
Celestin: "[Shocked] Mary!!, What, what are you doing here?", he asked confused and afraid, as he pointed his guard stick in different directions away and towards the sound of the voice.
Mary: "So you think, you can be happy with out me right?", she said angrily.
Celestin: "[Shaking] Mary please leave me, please I beg of you", he pleaded.
Mary: "I wanted to ask you for forgiveness and I wanted you to take me back", she said.
Mary: "But you had to spoil everything by loving that girl, arhhh!!", she shouted in anger pushing a glass cup to the ground making a loud noise that shook Celestin.
Celestin: "[Shaking] Mary please stop, please stop", he pleaded.
Mary: "Do you think your parents and uncle where murdered because of their money?", she asked.
Celestin: "What are you talking?", he asked in fear.
Mary: "I killed your parents and uncle because they stood in my way", she said.
Celestin: [Angry] you witch!!, where are you!!, come out here!!", he shouted with great anger, hitting the guard stick on a chair he was close to.
Mary: "[Laughs] Your girl came to see you", she said.
Celestin: "Where is Julian, what did you do to her?", he said with anger.
Mary: "She has a surprise for you, she is right on the floor [laughs]", she said.
Celestin: "you're lying!", he exclaimed.
Mary: "You think?, what do you think you're stepping on that's so thick?", she asked.
Celestin: "No!", he exclaimed as he threw what he held on his hands and fell down to the floor, touching fresh blood.
Celestin: "This can't be blood!, no not Julian!", he cried in pain as he moved his hands on the floor finding Julian's body.
Mary: "So you bought her a gift", she said as she picked up the gift which fell right in front of her.
Celestin: "[Crying] You will pay for this, I swear you will", He said to Mary in serious pain as his hands touched Julian's lifeless body.
Mary: "You got a diamond ring for her?", she asked in surprise and anger.
Mary: "[Angry] Were you planning to Marry her?", she asked angrily.
Celestin: "I hate you, I hate you", he said crying on the floor.
Mary: "[Angry] After all I did to get you, you still turned your back against me!!!!!", she said as she ran towards celestin with a dagger to kill him.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Hearing how she shouted, Celestin quickly stood up to defend himself as a man, but it was too late for him. The dagger pierced through his kidney giving him limited time to live.
Celestin: "ahhh", he moan softly.
Mary: "If I can't marry you, then no one will ever marry you in this world", she said as she twisted the dagger further in and pushed it out.
Celestin: "[Pain] Mary you__", he couldn't finish up his words because life was leaving him. He dropped to the ground close to Julian lifeless body.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Mary was breathing heavily with her eyes all red, she looked at Celestin.
Mary: "[Angry] You wanna marry her?, marry in death!!", she shouted as she left the ring off her hold, then she walked out of the house.
[WRITER SPEAK]=> The ring fell right on Celestin's head. Celestin with his last strength took the ring on his head with his left hand.
Celestin: "Julian my love__", he spoke with his last strength.
Celestin: "I bought__ this ring for___you", he said as he used his right hand to hold the left hand of Julian's lifeless body.
Celestin: "I hope___you__like it", he said with blood gushing out his mouth as he fixed the diamond ring on her finger.
Celestin: "I___LOVE__YOU__JULIAN", he said using up all his strength and holding her hand with great passion of love.
[WRITE SPEAKS]=> Celestin gave up the ghost and there laid two lifeless bodies of two great love.
.........THE END........
WORDS FROM DINDY
I know many of you would be angry because of how celestin died, but I'm sorry celestin was a dead man to me even before I started writing the story, please accept my apology.
WATCH OUT FOR MY NEW STORY
MY FIRST TRIP TO ABUJA AND ZARIA
AND
THE BUS
You guys would surly love them.
One more thing before I end this, please please and please, I'm the real Dindy. I don't know why people still doubt me when I tell them I'm Dindy, I am the real Writer of any story with DINDY written. I don't copy and paste.....well that's that......
Thank you fans, for loving me and my works.....i love you guys too....especially if you're a girl [laughs] na joke o.....DINDY OUT!
STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected]
Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi



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Vegetable thief [Read it]


A farmer caught a thief in his garden, plucking and packing vegetables in a sack. 
FARMER: what the hell are u doing here? 
THIEF: A strong wind blew me here. 
FARMER: Then what are those vegetables doing in your hands? 
THIEF: I was holding unto them so the wind will not carry me any further. 
FARMER: OK! So why is that sack on your back? 
THIEF: That was what I was wondering before you came.       


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-22 17:28:44

222 Views




one day evil spirit went to akpos house akpos had such big eyes that when the evil spirit entered akpos house the evil spirit shouted "blood of GOD" and fainted


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-23 09:35:55

662 Views




Teri Yaad Mein Humne Kalam Uthaayi;

Liya Paper Aur Tasveer Aapki Banayi;

Socha Tha Ki Usko Dil Se Laga Kar Rakhenge;

Magar Wo Toh Bacho Ko Draane Ke Kaam Aayi!Related

Jeene Ki Khwaish Mein Har Roz Marte Hain;

Wo Aaye Na Aaye Hum Intezaar Karte Hain;

Jutha Hi Sahi Mere Yaar Ka Vaada;

Hum Sach Maankar Aitbar Karte Hain!Related

Santa: It’s really bothering me that a girl at work has just got silicon implants.

Banta: What’s the problem?

Santa: I don’t know if I’m going to be able to look her in the eyes again.Related

My class teacher shared our test result today and
my mark was 5 over 20(5/20)...after closing hour
I was really happy about d result because my seat
mate scored 2 out of 20(2/20).......on getting
home ,as I was about to open d door i heard a
loud noise and scream from my younger brother
,so I decided to check through d window.Then I
saw my daddy hanged my brother naked and
turned him up side down with two Aboki(Hausa
people) who normally sell cows and use sticks to
beat them ....so I saw them beating my brother in
a systematic way..I was wondering what my
brother could do to deserve dis. Den I overheard
my daddy shouting "out of 20 u scored 15 u Will
die today (15/20) .....Let even see what your
brother Will score wen he comes back"
....if you were the one what will you do.....??!



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-26 15:38:52

1145 Views




EPs 10

Ellen was sitting on a couch outside the field , enjoying the fresh cool air.

" hey, how are you ?
The voice came from right behind her. It was henry , she was surprise and at the same time shock she didn't answer Henry's greetings but greets back

' good day sir, how are you ?

She said politely. Henry let out a sigh ,
'to be honest I'm not fine '
Ellen doesn't want to show interest .
' well, my kids the seems to love you',
Henry complimented . Ellen was speechless she only nod her head
" well do you enjoy, you know hanging around with them ?.
Ellen doesn't want to start a conversation with henry , or answer any of his questions. She has No choice than to co- operate .
' I do sir ,
she answered trying hard to keep her composure and to avoid anymore questions .

"okay that's good, Ellen can you please forgive me if I have done something wrong to you or people connected to me did..

Ellen gulp down bubbles foaming on her throat '
sir I don't know what you are talking about , beside you have not done nothing wrong to me.
Ellen replies in a gentle manner .
" look you don't have to pretend you told Linda about .........
" but that's was only a joke
Ellen cuts in
besides the story is a myth , just trying to impress the kids .
" ever since you came into my house , everything has change . henry said
" sir if you want I can quite the job .
Ellen said boldly showing seriousness all over her face .
' no no no henry tap on his head what I'm I even thinking' discussing this with this poor girl
The questions runs through Henry's mind . ,' I'm sorry if I push too far..

"Daddy, daddy'
the voice interrupts
' I wanna take a walk with nanny Ellen down the street.
Linda yells as she run towards them
. " okay honey be careful out their okay.

Linda and Ellen strolled along while henry deep inside keeps suspecting ellen as he watches Ellen and Linda disappears into the thin air .
*****
Henry keeps smacking his head as he walk down the bathroom he squeeze the tap water runs through , he let out his palm allowing water to full in before he splashes it all over his sweat full face as he look at the mirror only his pale face and shadowed eye looking right back at him. He haven't had a healthy sleep due to the nightmares, he could feel his brain aching . he need a long rest .
He let out a big sigh as he bent down toward the washing basin
Rubbing his hair forth and to as his stretches out his palm towards the running water , he splashes it all over his face. He breath heavily gasping out for like his was been choke, his heart seems to be pupping faster . he felt all kind of feeling all over his body it felt strange like some cold air is running down through his veins . he caught sight at the wall mirror, he saw his reflection glaring viciously at him, he was shocked
His reflection was suppose to mimick everything he dose, instead it was still glaring at him, he wipe some of the vapour around the mirror to be sure , to have a clear view . he peered closely but the image changes in what seems to be a ghost form. It was all black and hollow, black socket and mouth
Henry stumbled back in fear as he slip off hitting his right side check hard on the tied floor, he manage to stand up after few minutes staggering as he use the washing basin for balance , his head aches . he look at the mirror again , it was gone and this time its was his reflection .
He staggered out from the bathroom , he felt a sharp pain right on his right ear , he holds it trying to cease the pain .
He hard a sharp hissing sound flew by he look around to see where it was coming from but he could not detect any exact spot .
He start hearing hissing and strange language all over , inside his head
It was echoing like it was coming directly from an empty tunnel. He places both hands on his head, he let out a loud scream which attracts his wife who came running , slaming the door open only to see his husband holding both hands on his head screaming

stop , stop , I heard enough stop
as he flip his head side to side roughly .
Jane ran towards henry
" calm down, calm down ,
she yells trying to get hold of henry

"They won't stop , they won't stop they are in my head they won't stop .
henry cry out as he twitches side to side giving his wife a hard time.

Who won't stop , what's in your head
Jane ask as she make more effort to get hold of henry who's twitching roughly .

I don't know , they won't stop ah stop please stop I heard enough.
Jane swing henry slapping him hard that someone downstairs could hear it .
Henry regaining himself , the hissing stop. Henry breath heavily as he start to sob Jane who's exhausted , panting and gasping like a fish out of water .
honey calm down ,
she pat on his shoulder
*****************


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RAMADAN JOKE [Read it]


during ramadan fasting akpos and his friend go 2 program of muslim it was quran quiz competition,during the program akpos bring out gala and stated eating it the alfa look up and see akpos eating alfa shout and say arakunrn se oogbawe ni akpos reply awele is the full meaning of it and she is my friend wife i cannot collect it,,,,,, alfa fainted


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-07-02 21:04:15

736 Views




CAMPUS BABE
Episode 3

I immediately left for the snacks
bar,and
bought him a bottle of coca cola
and
meatpie,I wondered within myself
“what
are my coursemates going to
think?that a
girl like me could be subjected to
such
humiliation” I knew that this
incidence was going to lower their
respect for me. Femi started
eating,and there was silence
on our table I just sat there
watching
chuks and Femi,who were sitting
opposite each other, Femi was
giving me
a look that indicated his
disappointment
and this made me look away.on
the other hand, Chuks had this
soft look in his eyes,
the kind of look that could
comfort
someone in distress. I looked
towrds the
area wher my coursemates sat, as
soon as
they say my eyes they all
pretended to be
doing somethign else,but I knew
they were watching us. Femi
finished his meal and cleared his
throat,he apologised to chuks and
extended his hands for a
handshake
accompanied with a smile, chuks
accepted his handshake and his
apology.Femi got up from his
seat,greeted Chuks and left
without
saying a word to me. I tried to
signal him
to stop,but he didn’t respond. On
a normal
day I would run up to him and
plead with
him till he decides to change his
mind,but
this day was not a normal day,My
coursemates were watching,they
had
already enjoyed the previous
episode,I
couldn’t afford to create another
one. Few minutes after Femi
left,chuks and I
decided to go home and so did
our course
mates. Chuks and I walked ahead
of them
since we all decided to trek,I
apologised
to chuks and he said it was
okay,that the
person I really needed to
apologise to was Femi, I knew this
but I just couldn’t
figure out a way to and this made
me
really moody,but before we got to
the
schOol gate,i was already cracked
up with
laughter from chuks and his funny
jokes.one thing that amazed me
was how my course mates kept
shut about what
they just watched,not even one of
them
asked what went wrong, I had a
feeling
they were going to ask Chuks
later. We
said goodbye and retired to our
various
destinations for the evening.
I couldn’t rest when I got home,I
kept
dialing his number though he cut
my call
whenever he saw it,I knew this
because
whenever I dialled his number it
read”number busy”…I didn’t give
up,I
kept sending apology text
messages for two days,I even sent
some christian
messages just to make him know I
was
sorry,all of these were to no avail.
Within
those two days,I visited his place
up to 4
times, his roomate kept saying he
was
not around. My sorryness was
turned into anger,so he
has decided to ignore me right?
I’ve done
worse things and it didn’t take
him so
much time to forgive me,since he
has
decided to ignore me,I’ll ignore
him
too,he would be the one to beg
for my calls,my pride got the
better of me and i
resolved to ignore him and
anything that
has to do with him until he comes
back
begging(which he usally does)
,afterall,i
had tried. Unfortunately,I didn’t
know
there was more to come… I
thought I could carry on well
without
Femi, I forgot all we had been
through in
our first year in school,if not for
his
assistance I wouldn’t have paid
my school
fees on time ,I decided to forget
all the
good times we had, all the times
he had been there for me(too
many to count). I
let my pride overrule my love for
him, I
kept saying to myself”afterall,I’m
pretty
and intelligent almost any guy I
like
would want to go out with me,
who does
Femi even think he is?” These
thoughts greatly affected my
actions,I decided to
pay no more visits and ignore his
call and
instead spend more time with
chuks at
least that way I could overlook
the feeling
of loneliness I was experiencing.
unfortunately, I couldn’t really
stick to my decisions, in fact no
day passed without
me dialing his number,I kept
thinking of
him (dnt blame me,the guy was
my FIRST
love,wats a girl gonna do?) After
two weeks of no contact,I jumped
to the conclusion that Femi and I
were
through,I had to deal with a
strange
feeling of heartbreak accompanied
with
depression. It took me about a
month to
get over Femi,,I couldn’t bear the
thought that I had lost femi,at
some point I got
worried but my pride wouldn’t let
me dial
his number again, “two weeks is
enough,
he has to be the one to call first”
I kept
saying this to myself. One week
later, my
phone rang and although I
deleted Femi’s phone number,I
still knew his phone
number in my head. As soon as I
saw his
number,I felt joy inside and
hurriedly
picked his call. “My superman(I
usually called him that),I
said with a playful voice…hey!
what’s up
he replied with a very formal
voice.
immediately he said this,I knew
he
wanted to say something serious.
“There’s something I would like to
tell you,he said with a more
serious tone…
TO BE CONTINUED TOMMORROW


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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My Chicken [Read it]


A man goes to a restaurant and
orders a chicken dish. By the time
the food is ready and he is about to
eat, the waiter comes back and says,
"Sir, I'm afraid there has been a
mistake. You see, that police officer
who is sitting at the next table is a
regular customer of ours and he
usually orders the same dish. The
problem is, this is the last chicken
in the house. I'm afraid I'll have to
take this dish to him and arrange for
another dish for you!"
The guy gets really upset and
refuses to give up his food. The
waiter walks over to the other table
and explains the situation to the
officer.
A few minutes later the officer walks
over to the man's table and says,
"Listen and listen good. That is MY
chicken you are about to eat and I'll
warn you, whatever you do to that
chicken I'll do the same to you. You
pull out one of its legs, I'll pull out
one of yours. You break one of its
wings, I'll break one of your arms!"
The man calmly looks at the chicken,
then sticks his middle finger in the
bird's rectum, pulls it out and licks
it. He then gets up, drops his pants,
bends over and says, "Go ahead!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-28 17:16:54

1490 Views




Tufaano Mein Chhatri Nahi Kholi Jaati;

Bra Se Pehle Panty Nahi Kholi Jaati;

‘Viagra’ Khana Shuru Kar, Mere Dost;

Kyunki Zubaan Aur Ungli Se Aurat Nahi Chodi Jaati!Related

3 Wishes [Read it]


A very wealthy man had a Birthday
party and he invited everyone in his
town. In his Mansion, he had a big pool
filled with alligators. So he announced
that anyone who was able to swim
across the pool and come out unarmed would be granted three wishes. Immediately, there was complete
silence, nobody wanted to risk his or
her life. All of a Sudden, there was a big
splash and AY was swimming like hell!
He successfully came out alive. He was then given a round of applause.
Everyone was anxious to know what
gave AY the courage to do it, but then,
the host asked, "What are your three
wishes?" AY replied, "Give me a shotgun, 3
rounds of shells (bullets) and show me
the idiot who pushed me inside the
Pool!."
#BOLLY_SMART ?? ? ? ? ? ??™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-24 01:42:01

227 Views




Wife:if i knew u were this poor i wouldnt have married u...Husband:when i told u,u were the only tin i had in dis world what were u thinking??!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-08 23:17:25

926 Views



The Hunter [Read it]


A 90 yr old man goes to a doctor.
He said:"Doctor, my 28yr old wife is pregnant, what's your opinion?"

Doctor replies: "Let me tell you a story. A hunter in a hurry grabs an umbrella instead of his hunting rifle. He moves into the jungle, sees a lion, lifts the umbrella pulls the handle and....BANG!!!...d lion drops dead!"

Old man exclaims: "That's impossible! Someone else must have shot the lion."

Doctor: "EXACTLY MY OPINION."



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-19 08:19:00

637 Views



Stolen Sugar [Read it]


Akpos enters a Spar Store to buy himself
orange juice and sugar. He paid for the
juice and walked out with the sugar
under his arm , unpaid. He was arrested
and locked up. During the court hearing, the judge
asked him why he only paid for the juice
and stole the sugar. Akpos replied, "I did not steal the sugar!
At the back of the juice bottle was
written, "SUGAR FREE!". You think I'm
stupid or what?"
#BOLLY_SMART™®


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-09-17 09:57:37

300 Views




Some weeks later, Remilekun’s parents and mine meet for an introduction. I am happy that her parents receive us with joviality. Remilekun and her mother really look alike in terms of elegance and beauty. I get excited when Remilekun’s father says that honourable personalities would be present on our wedding day; such as people in government. They are disappointed that my father is not alive and they pay their condolences. My mother and three relatives are the ones on seat. However, everything ends with merriment. I can see a smile of satisfaction on my mother’s face. She whispers to my ear that Remilekun has a good background unlike Titi whose father is mentally retarded. I am just realizing that Titi had left my life for good according to the heart-breaking letter she left for me.
But two weeks to our wedding day, Remilekun visits my house and she meets me where I am reading my daily times as usual. Soon, a shocking news unfolds before my eyes. I can’t resist the tears that ooze out of my eyes.
“Honey, what is it?” Remilekun asks with shock in her voice.

>>

Teacher: Emeka,which country would you
love
to go when you grow up?
Emeka: America.
Teacher: Obi,what about you?.
Obi: Australia.
Teacher: And you?, david.
David: kenya.
Teacher: what about you,akpos?.
Akpos: i would not love to go to anywhere.
Teacher: hmm..Well,block heads dont go to
anywhere because they have nothing in
thier
brain.
Akpos: ma,can i ask you a question?.
Teacher: yes.
Akpos: when did you finish your youth
service as a corper?.
Teacher: since 2009.
Akpos: then why are you still in
nigeria,teachin g?. Why not find a better
job..
Well,block head's dont get better job,they
rather decide to teach people like them..


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-21 07:12:26

246 Views




The Pharmacist’s Monday:

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone.”

Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology.

Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, “Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I’d locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys.”

“Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire.”

“When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook.”

He continued, “Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels and the phone was still ringing.”

“When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke.”

“Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.”

“And believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her.”Related

half bread iz beta dan buns
a patient dog...(na hunger go kil am)
ur gf calls u 'my diamond'....(lolz..she mean diamond bank)
d more u get famous...d more ah treat u lyk sh!t 2 ma anus
@ 40...na wizkid b ur role model..(OMG, fool @40 ..fool 4eva)
First Nigerian Snow Fall On Dec 25...(lol ..APC...change#)
obama shake me 4 eket mobil mart...d idiot ran behind and began licking his fingers..(lol..ah bn eat fufu wid okoro dat day)
____
wetin hapen ..c ur teeth..abeg folo post ur own...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-28 15:56:20

397 Views




Cognizant Method:
hire a lion… ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.
give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit however give them the same amount gobi 65 to eat
hire 200 more……. and more …….

TCS Method:
hire a lion
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
lion dies of hunger and frustration

IBM’s method:
hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour …
he dies of unemployment…

Syntel Method:-
Hire a Cat …
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and
make sure that he never reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion….

i-Flex Method:
hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari
for implementing flex cube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes alive he will get band movement (promotion)
holy cow dies in fear of the real lion

COSL Method:
hire a lion .

Polaris Method :
hire ..sorry….purchase a lion..
change his timings…(instead of 9 AM …change it to 8:30 AM )
cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
lion dies from fear of becoming CAT…..

Capgemini Method:
hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat…
the lion dies before joining….

WIPRO METHOD:
Hire a Lion,
give him a mail Id.
he will die recieving stupid mails all day……..!!!!

HUAWEI Method:
Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion…
Give him work of 3 Lions
Tell him to work late and even on weekends…
No time for food and family, automatically die

L & T METHOD:
Hire a lion….
Take his CAMS assignment 2 times a year followed by Performance appraisals.
Ask him for lots of My Leanings on line …
Send him to Chennai/HYD/BLG;but yes don’t give him/her his/her home town.
Ask him to stay on bench for a long time or Give him/her projects .
No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girls Only Attitude of HR girls. And say him “Go Ahead be a Tiger”.
Lion dies in confusion if he is aTiger or lion……
THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST

INFOSYS Method:
HIRE A LION…..
SEND HIM FOR TRAINING IN MYSORE AND MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE KING OF THE JUNGLE!
MAKE HIM TAKE GENERIC COMPERE EXAM
LION TURNS INTO CAT
MAKE HIM TAKE STREAM COMPREE EXAM
CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE
SEND HIM INTO PRODUCTION WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HE LEARNED IN TRAINING
MOUSE RUNS HERE AND THERE FOR HELP!!!
SEND HIM MAILS TELLING ABOUT MANDATORY CERTIFICATIONS
MOUSE COMMITS SUICIDE…

This is how IT engineers die in IndiaRelated

It’s Breast Awareness Week.

Spread the slogan “We stare because we care”!Related

biology exam [Read it]


question: Draw the female reproduction organ.
As the exams was on-going,a girl looked
between her legs. A Fulani boy saw her and shouted.
"Sir, she is copying from the original!"......


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-03 00:26:56

458 Views




PAIN=>WRITE UP BY DINDY
do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission,thank you for reading this write up...


The Walls of remembers of the past or present situation of life that keeps striking your life,soul,thoughts and heart,a pain of lost,a pain of fear,a pain of the body.
But wait,Do you really know what pain is?,when no one remembers you when you need them the most,when non of your niggas cares about you,when you hustle and no pay,when you do your best but yet people abuse you for it,when you work so hard and at the end another person takes the glory for it or takes your place or enjoys what you are ought to enjoy,when everyone around you can't see the truth and only you can see it,when someone calms what he/she is not,when someone you know you can beat comes in front of you to boast and you can't do a thing about it,when people turns their backs against you,when someone you believe in turns you down,when you search and never find,when your hopes becomes hopeless,when your trust is broken,when they blame you for what you don't know,when people gossip about you and you get to hear it,when people don't understand you or your pains, when people laughs at you,when you see life being destroyed,when you see animals killed for no good reason........believe me all that pains and more,it pains so much.
Pain can be explained in so many ways,thoughts,emotions and expressions. For you to come into this world your mum must experience pain,pain is part of a female's world because of their ability to bring life to existence,like they say "no pain no gain".
Pain is a fun thing to some people when they see others passing through it but when they experience it they tend to beg for life (my brother and sister is that not wickedness?).
I have only one thing to say as I end this my words of explanation 'when you are face to face with pain don't breakdown and don't run,just smile and be happy and believe in yourself and ignore any unnecessary talks and forget everything associated with the pain'
"MY BROTHER MY SISTER PAIN IS PAIN WHEN YOU DON'T LET IT GO" #DINDY AKA NNAMDI

MY NAME IS NNAMDI AKA DINDY AND I WROTE THIS WRITE UP.LEARN FROM WHAT YOU READ NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND.THANKS FOR READING..................WRITE UP BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI.........whatsapp number:07087750433.... [email protected]@gmail.com or [email protected] facebook name:Ossy Andy Nnamdi.......Skype: 07087750433 or [email protected]:@nnamdiossy







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Every day Sunny Leone creates history….. . . .Then we have to go to settings and clear that history??Related

Akpors the native doctor was specialized in selling
poison to people..
This poison can kill any living thing on this earth.
One day a woman, who wanted to poison her
husband came to
him.
Take a look at their
conversations.
Woman: i want to buy poison.
Native doctor: ok you are
welcome.
Woman: how perfect is your poison working?
Native doctor: it works
perfectly.
Woman: are u sure?.
Native doctor: ok come and taste it, so that you
will confirm whether it is
working or not.
Native doctor: ok give me a little.
The woman tasted it & died,without remembering
that she wanted to use it on her
husband.
The Native doctor seeing the woman.. he laughed
and said...
"oh you wanted to go just like that, after pricing my
poison, you think you are wise... I will follow you
bcos you must
buy the poison"
The Native doctor also drank the poison & died.
Now i decree in your life that any evil man or
woman planning to poison you in this
very month, So that you will not gain the
blessings and wealth that is coming your way,
will die before you.
Type AMEN to claim yours quickly



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-09 10:31:56

521 Views



job application [Read it]


Dear Sir,

APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT
I refer to the recent death of the accountant at your office and hereby apply for the job as a replacement of the dead accountant.

Each time I apply for employment, I get a reply that there is no vacancy but in this case, I have caught you red handed and you have no excuse because while I was in my hometown for holidays I heard the good news about his death so i quickly rushed back to attend the funeral to be sure that he was truly dead before applying.

Attached to my letter is a copy of my CV and his obituary as proof of vacancy.

You can't swerve me this time. Give me the job.

Thank you,
Yours Truly,
Kweku Boateng.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-10 00:51:11

563 Views




EPISODE 25

Mirabel and I stood dumb for many seconds to collect what our eyes were seeing,,, they were drunk and still having more, the place was smelling crazy, they've been smoking marijuana and other type of weeds, and substances like cocaine and all, they were smoking their lives out. I don't even know any of them there. Lola, Cynthia, Dax, Vincent and those two friends of Lola's weren't there with them. We irritatingly walked passed them to the rooms.
Mirabel: Seems Promise left
Me: I guess so
Mirabel: But she didn't inform any of us
Me: Was she even at the pool party?
Mirabel: I didn't see her there
Me: It could be that she left during that time, She'll never party like that
Mirabel: Decent girl huh?
Me: Very decent
The first room we entered was hell! we saw a real live hardcore pornography going on among about eight of them both girls and guys. They didn't even care to noticed if anyone opened the door before we closed up to next room looking each other but remained speechless. Cynthia and her boyfriend were already asleep completely naked in her messed up room. At Lola's room? I got the shock of my life,,, three in one with Dax, Lola with those two friends of hers... they were extremely high on drugs.
Dax: Hey, don't you guys knock?
Mirabel: The door was left opened dummy
Dax: Oh... but s..
Lola: **Cuts in** You guys care to join the fun? Victor you can take on my girls, I don't need yo little d!ck 'coz I won't even feel it anyway **Laughs out crazily** Mirabel how do you cope with that guy? girls... that dude is so so tiny **three of them laughed crazily, one of the girls had cums on her face and mouth**
Mirabel: You're sick,,, let's go Victor **walked out**
Lola got me extremely angry that night, I looked at them in disgust before walking out of the room. I was headed to Mirabel's lodge before I heard her voice closed-by. I looked around and saw her at a corner talking with someone unfamiliar to me at that moment. I went closer and that it was Vincent.
Me: What's happening here?
Vincent: Hey bro
Me: Hey,,, why are you sitting out by yourself?
Mirabel: He was actually sleeping when I saw him
Me: Why don't you go inside?
Vincent: I'm ok here,,, here is more cool, inside there is hell even with all the AC's... gosh!
Me: So you've been all alone all this while?
Vincent: And I'm very cool with it
(Hhmmmm... seems he's really a good guy)
Mirabel: But Dax is your friend, why aren't you with him?
Vincent: Sure I'm with him and that's why I'm still here
Me: Alright get up let's go to Mirabel's lodge, its more comfortable there
Vincent: Yea it should, i can see it's less noisy. Please show me in before I catch cold out here **Standing up**
Mirabel: Sure, lets go
Vincent: After you
(I was like hmmmm.... Lol)
She took him to a room where he'd spend the night.
Mirabel: We need to talk
Me: About what?
Mirabel: About what happened back there, what was she talking about?
Me: Lola?
Mirabel: Yes
Me: Forget about that sweetheart, she's not ok. Lets just go to bed dear
Mirabel: I need to understand
Me: Sweetheart, there's nothing to understand OK? trust me my love
Mirabel: I'm being serious Victor, tell me why she said that, she's high but not out of her sences
Me: You listened to her? didn't you see how high she was?
Mirabel: You can't tell me that, Lola will never say such thing just like that. Yes she's high and that's exactly when she exposes stuffs
Me: Will you calm down? Now tell me, what's your point in this?
Mirabel: I dunno, you tell me what she's talking about
Me: Why don't you go ask her yourself, go on... she exposes stuffs when she's high right? go on and ask her as she's still high... excuse me **I walked into the room**
I got into the room and was about to remove my suit before she stormed in
Mirabel: So this is how you want to treat me?
Me: Mirabel you better stop this, you're irritating me already
Mirabel: Baby why can't you talk to me?
Me: Answer this questions, she exposes truth when she's high right?
Mirabel: Yea and it's true
Me: Ok tell me what brought this issue?
Mirabel: She said you have a little tiny,,,,, d!ck
Me: Is that true?
**Speechless**
Me: Why can't you answer me? or you're not sure?? **Smiling**
Mirabel: But...
Me: No but sweetheart...
I went behind her and placed my hands around her waist
Me: I love you sweetheart and you know I won't do anything to hurt you, not even a bit will I feel comfortable in hurting you. That which doesn't please you, will never please me. What you hate, that I will also hate for your love is my love.
Mirabel: I'm really sorry baby, I just...
Me: It's Ok,,, can we go to bed now?
Mirabel: Yea sure
Me: Good **Removed my dress and about to jump on to the bed**
Mirabel: But only after shower
Me: What? No, You just go ahead I'm very very tired as it is right now
Mirabel: I didn't ask for your opinion neither am I giving you a choice,,, get up and lets shower
Me: Look dear its very late already,,, let today's shower slide by please
Mirabel: Not a chance, you will save yourself more time if you comply now because you will only sleep after shower,,,, we've spent almost five minutes debating on this when you can shower within just three minutes.
I was so weak, I didn't eat well from the party, I managed to gather some strenth before I could have my shower that night. I first had my shower before she did.
Mirabel: Now how do you feel? (After I had my shower)
Me: Terrible! (Actually, I felt better)
Mirabel: Liar... Baby you should be taking your bath two to three times daily and also wash your teeth as well, you will feel free, more relaxed and feel cool when you shower before retiring to bed
Me: I've heard you, can I have my sleep now?
Mirabel: Nope
Me: You must be kidding yourself **rested my body on the bed to sleep** Goodnight!
Mirabel: No goodnight kisses?
Me: Mirabel please I'm very weak, I might even collapse if I should sit up
Mirabel: You're refusing to kiss me?
Me: As I am right now? I will even reject $ex
Mirabel: Woah... this is serious. Sorry baby for bothering you, I didn't know you're that tired
Me: Its okay... **feeling somehow unusual** please switch off the AC its like i'm feeling cold
Mirabel: Ok,,, sure you're Ok?
Me: Yea,,, goodnight
Mirabel: Goodnight, love u...
Too tired to say I love her too, I just slept off. During my sleep, I had weird and uncomfortable dreams, I only have such kind of dreams when I'm sick.

**The following morning**

Mirabel: Victor wake up **tapping me** wake up
I opened my eyes,,, I woke up feeling heavy
Mirabel: You're burning up! we need to take you to the hospital. Please put on your shirt and trousers lets be going
I managed to stood up
Me: What about lectures? **feeling uneasy**
Mirabel: You need to get checked first, you're sick and you're talking about lectures we can easily catch up with
Me: I promised not to miss a single lecture, I have to go to school, I will be fine
Mirabel: At the expense of your health? don't be sturbborn, You're going to the hospital
I put on my shirt and trousers, she called on the guards and they took me to the hospital, the next thing was me lying on the hospital bed while the Doctor ran some tests on me.
Mirabel: I called Nancy and told her what happened, she requested to come at once but I told her to wait till later that the guards will fetch her
Me: She's still at your place?
Mirabel: Yea, I told her to remain there while we're still here
(Then I remembered Vincent spent the night there and he might still be there)
Me: No, she has to go back to the house... She can't stay close to Lola
Mirabel: Lola and Cynthia are on their way here, they will go to school from here
Me: They'll make it to school today after last night?
Mirabel: This is not the first time dear, they will go to school if they want to
Me: Still I think she should go back to the house to,, to,,, to you know, freshen up, change her dress before coming here
Mirabel: **Laughs** So its true?
Me: What?
Mirabel: Don't worry darling, Vincent left the lodge earliar with Dax
Me: Really...?
Mirabel: Yeapie
Me: Then what's the truth about that?
Mirabel: **Smiles** Nancy told me everything dear,,, girls talk
Me: About what?
Mirabel: How you've been strict on her concerning boys
Me: She's exaggerating
Mirabel: Really? is that right??
**Doctor walks in**
Doctor: Hello Victor
Mirabel: Doctor, are the results out?
Doctor: Yes
Mirabel: What's wrong with him?
Doctor: Malaria and typhoid and also his sugar level is very high
Mirabel: Is he going to be admitted?
Doctor: That won't be necessary, I'll just prescribed some drugs for him
Mirabel: Ok, thank you Doctor
Doctor: I advise he should stop taking anything that contains more than 2% of sugar. Mr Victor what do you take much that contains sugar?
Mirabel: Doctor he takes yoghurt excessively
Doctor: I advise him to resist yoghurt for minimum of four months
Me: What?! four months?
Doctor: Wait, is he like addicted to it?
Mirabel: Doctor I really dunno, I only know he drinks it excessively
The Doctor started lecturing me on the implications of taking excessive yoghurt. My mind wasn't with him, It was the four months exile that bothers me.


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