Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


What a gloomy thing, not to know the address of one’s soul.

~ Victor HugoRelated

COLUMBUS agar married hota to America kabhi discover nahi kar pata. Kyunki tab us se poocha jata:


1. Kahan jaa rahe ho?


3. Kyun Jaa rahe ho?


2. Kiske saath jaa rahe ho?


3. Main bhi chalungi.


4. Wapas kab aaoge?


5. Ghar reh kar hi discover karlo.


6. Mere liye kya laoge?


7. Wapas aate waqt sabji lete aana.


8. Pahunch ke phone karna.


9. Har baar tum hi kyon discover karte ho? Koi aur kyon nahi kar sakta?Related

“Chief, the job is done” one of the men who set the room on fire informed the recipient of his call.

“Are you certain he is dead for sure” the voice asked.

“Affirmative sir” the man replied.

“Great job men, now leave that place as soon as possible” the recipient ordered.

“Yes sir” the man replied

“lets move out boys” the man who seem to be the leader ordered as they headed out.

Frankkay was struggling to get up but kept falling down. He had given up hope and prayed God should forgive all his sins and accept his soul. He wanted his last thoughts to be beautiful thoughts, he thought about his lovely mother in the village, his ever loyal colleagues at work, his girlfriend, his falling ambitions, the beautiful world, tears rolled down his eyes as he closed his eyes. The fire had gotten near him and was about to engulf him when someone ran in to rescue him. He quickly lifted frankkay on his back and gave him a piggyback out of the room flaming room. They got to where the savior parked his car and off he drove to the nearest hospital where Frankkay was treated.


8 hours later…….
“Where am I?” Frankkay asked

Clears throat….

“My name is Akande and I saved you because you have to help me” Mr. Akande said.

“I didn’t ask you to save me, you did it on your own free will and you can take me back where you got me from if you wish” Frankkay gave a mocking reply.

“What you think doesn’t matter to me, all I know is you will pay me back for saving your miserable life till you are no use me again” Akande said without mincing word.

“You are kidding me right?” Frankkay said looking at the man who seems like a man

“Why will he be kidding when you conspired with unknown hoodlums to kill me” a mild voice voice said entering the ward. Frankkay looked up to see Aarti as all his bravado disappeared that instance. “You look like you have seen a ghost” she said giving a wry smile.

“Ehhmmm… I didn’t mean to.. you know..as in..” Frankkay stuttered.

“Oh don’t bother…. We saved you so you could help us find someone and you have to start right away by telling us everything you know about his daughter’s disappearance” Aarti said pointing to Akande.

“Me? Now?” Frankkay asked sounding dejected.

“If not you, who? If not now, when?” Akande asked with a high pitched voice.

“I want to remind you we are the only one capable of saving you because the so-called chief you so much trusted is all out to make sure our dear inspector Frankkay is 6-ft underground, remember he is a candidate for the governorship election in our state and would do anything to avoid anything that might undermine is chances of sitting at the apex of power” Akande explained.

“What do you want to know?” Frankay asked.


Ledan narrates

I couldn’t sleep comfortably as I paced up and down the parlor in great worries. I wondered why Ele was coming tomorrow. It was just so impromptu. That wasn’t even the problem; Imabong had threatened to do insane things if I don’t reveal grandma’s revelation to Ele.


**Earlier in the day..**
“I have something of utmost importance to discuss with you Sir” Imabong said.

“What is it my dear?” I asked.

“I think we have delayed telling our son…” Imabong was saying but was cut short. “how many times have I told you to stop that nonsense talk about these so called revelations” I said.

“I don’t have time for your regular rants, if you are not ready to tell our son the truth, I am ready to tell my son what to do to save his life, I will not make your consistent mistakes hurt him for a second time, I don’t care what you do to me, even if its kill ne, I will say it” she said threateningly.

“Like you do have a choice?” I asked rhetorically in a not so confident voice.

“At every point in our life, in every situations, we all have a choice, but the thing is that it is always hard to pick when it comes to choices, only when it comes to picking choices we know a true man or woman, that’s why people say choice is the hardest thing in life but we still have to make choices” she explained as I sat on the chair bewildered by the outstanding knowledge my wife had about the world.

“So what are you trying to say?” I asked sounding a bit confused.

“What I am trying to say is we have two choices, to tell Ele or not to tell Ele, whether we choose any of the two, he is fated to die, why not at least try the former and the earlier the better, in fact you have to tell him now” Imabong has said.

“Me? Now?” I asked.

“If not you, who? If not now, when?” She said full of confidence with no signs of fear. A call came in as she was speaking.

“What? So you are coming to Ibadan tomorrow?….why don’t you tell me the reasons now my dear… ok” Imabong said as she hang up the call. “the moment is here, the time is now, our son is coming to Ibadan tomorrow and only my death can stop me from revealing the revelations to our son tomorrow” Imabong said with strong conviction as watched on.

“What if I say I don’t give a d--n?” I asked her.

“Anybody who fails to listen to simple instruction will fall into simple disaster” she said with a note of finality and left the parlor in anger.
***Back to the present***


I know I couldn’t do anything to stop Imabong neither could I stop the truth from coming out later so while not someone do the talking for me. I couldn’t bare to face my son telling him he would die because of sins of the father that is I had decided to travel out of the state before Ele arrives tomorrow. Even God knows I am not at fault. Even God knows I did it for my son. That must be the only reason why I am yet to die, I thought as I laughed so hard the ceiling shook.


Ele narrates

I wake up for the umpteenth time that night because of strange nightmares. This time it wasn’t three ladies but masquerades chasing me in the dream. I couldn’t go back to sleep so I took my phone and logged in to my Facebook page. I saw Cedar’s birthday was today.
I had forgotten to remember today was a birthday. Cedar will surely kill me, you don’t expect anything less from a winchy girl like Cedar. Only God knows if she is one of the three ladies. I quickly composed a little poem for her and posted on Facebook.




A poem to my private friend Cedar on her birthday
++++++++++++
I hope you know you mean a lot
Hope you find the things you sought
You have seen me raw and exposed
You’ve seen me cool and composed
You always make me laugh
You are like my other half
You are the one who knows just how I feel
You can tell if what I say is real
You are just great the way you are
Just like a shooting star
We are friends but we are so much more
We are tight but we continue to explore
And I know we will both look back and say
Today was an extraordinary birthday
Happy birthday to my pal number one in town @cedar1


I knew Cedar would love it but I was scared of her boyfriend who might see what I composed for her. I was scared because Yoruba boys were popular known for using juju and I didn’t want to be a victim of their terrestrial powers. Cedar had been one of the most playful girl I had ever come across, fun to be with though her voice was also as sexy as a chicken.
I got up and prepared the spaghetti I bought yesterday and it didn’t waste time to get ready.

That’s one of the reason most lazy Nigerian ladies has made Spaghetti and her twin brother Indomie their favorite food because it was easy to cook and faster. I wonder what the future holds for husbands if our girls only no how to prepare Whatsapp soup for their boyfriends. I quickly took my bath and by half past five I was ready to head to Sawmill Park in General Hospital, Ilorin where I will get a car to Ibadan. I got to the park and saw there were only two people inside. The girl seating at the back was extremely pretty and I quickly went to seat beside her.

“Good early morning sister” I greeted in a make-up voice.

“You are pretty funny” she laughed “Morning” she said in a very sultry voice.
Wow, I don hit jackpot o, now my journey go make sense, now I sabi why woman go kill me.

As soon as the journey started, a man stood up and started praying.

“In Jesus name” he started.
There was no answer. Students comprised most of the occupants and they were only busy pressing their phone or listening to music and acted like the man didn’t exist. The man ignored them and quickly introduced himself after praying.

“I am Pastor Okpokopa” he started as everyone burst into a series of laughter.

“Abeg wetin that name mean?” one student who couldn’t control is curiosity asked as he kept on laughing.

“Okpokopa is an Ibibio name which means “you touch me you die” Pastor Okpokopa explained. Without much ado, he started singing a song
(Aba mi no o odudu) Without Gods permission.
Baaba mpko keit kisan itepeke There’s nothing anyone can do.

“The song means without God permission, nothing bad in this world can happen to you” Pastor Okpokpo started “but you have to give God control over your life and how do you do that? You do that by first accepting Jesus as your personal Lord and Saviour, then you proceed to live your life as Jesus commanded in the new testament which include avoiding adultery, fornication, bribery, exam malpractice, corruption and what have you but many youths today have backslide and have followed their friends in doing things of the world, to show you what I have been saying is not created by me but from our Bible, ill read a passage of the Bible now for you all to hear” Pastor Okpokopor said as he opened his Bible to read.

“Open to the book of Matthew Chapter number…” Pastor Okpokopo was saying when a condom fell down from his Bible while he was trying to open it…


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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“Are you sure this is it?” Jeremy asked,his heartbeat trippling.He couldn’t see any building.The street was oddly quiet and looking really old.If he had been told that such a street existed in New York city,he’d never believe.Seeing one for himself convinced him of that.
Darren killed the engine of the vehicle and turned to face his friend.”My tracker says it is. I’m sure.”He scanned his surrounding for a while,”Pretty scary,right?”
Jeremy inhaled and exhaled deeply.”More scary to her.She must be scared to death to be kept in a place like this.Ernest’s really insane.”
“Save your strength for what we’re gonna face,”Darren advised, pulling a door open.
“Wait,”Jeremy stopped him.”I don’t see the place or wherever she is.Why don’t we drive around?Till we get to see a building or something.”
Darren chuckled.”Don’t tell me you’re scared.”He closed the door.
Jeremy swallowed hard.”I don’t think so. It’ll be quick.Was just suggesting though.”
“Listen,there’s only one building on this street.And I think he’s here. If he is,she is with him.Lets walk,not to draw his attention.”He patted Jeremy on the shoulder, “We can defend ourselves,”he smiled reassuringly.
Jeremy responded with a nod. There was no backing down.He was ready to fight for his princess and get her back.The hour had arrived.He unfastened his seat belt,pushed the door open and climbed down,slamming it behind him.An eerie feeling crept into him, when the wind blew across his face.He was uncomfortable and did not like what he was feeling.”Are you sure the car’s safe here?”he whispered to Darren.
“Don’t have an answer to that. It probably is,”Darren responded,making sure the car was securely locked.”There’s tight security.'”
“Where are we headed to?”
“Over there,”Darren pointed right ahead of them.Nothing exactly that could give them the urge to go on was in view.Just grasses, overgrown bushes by the corner of the street and their shadows lingered.
“Don’t tell me she’s been in a bush?”Jeremy asked,furious.It’d be more than hell for Ernest if that was actually true.
“Lets just go.Keep your voice down,”Darren instructed.
Jeremy sighed.”Don’t you feel nervous? Uncanny? Its what I’m feeling.”
It was normal.He had also felt that way – that was a long time ago.”I understand what you feel.Try not to think about it.”
They continued their walk in absolute silence.Being careful, their eyes roved about,searching for the sign of someone,anyone.
Jeremy kept his head straight up, trying to send those uneasy feelings back to where they came from.
“We’re right here,”Darren announced excitedly.
Jeremy turned his head to the right.There was a house.It was abandoned.It had a mail box entirely hidden by tall grass.Its driveway was overgrown.It had bushes and brambles up against the door and windows.It had weeds in the gutters and green slime on the walls,and a cracked foundation pierced by creeper tendrils ticker than his wrist.A shiver ran down his spine.His Purity couldn’t be here.
The grim and gloomy building was the worst excuse for a house he’d ever seen;it was more like a long-abandoned prison or insane assylum rather than once a glamorous house.The doors and windows were covered with a thick layer dust that looked like it had been untouched for years.The windows of the house looked back at him with the eyes of an empty soul,along with the grand door at the entry way to the house.That seemed to give him the impression that it was a gateway to hell.
They got past the bushy surroundings to the door at the entry.Darren turned it and it creaked open, moving a centimeter at a time. It could move faster but the wood of the door had grown moldy and soft with water and neglect.They made it into the house.A thick coating of dust and mold coats everything.They stopped tentatively as there were already several dark holes where floorboards have snapped,weak from mold and pressured downwards by the weight of the gigantic dust bunnies that have formed.Cobwebs brushed their faces as they stepped deeper into the house.A shiver ran down their spines.Its really difficult to tell,wierd but there was something unbelievably spooky about that place.
As they walked further into the house, scanning the place, they got to a second door.Darren turned it open;the rotting door creaked open slowly.Echoing footsteps invaded the silence that hung like a cloak around the house.A thick carpet of dust clung to every object,the rays of light chinning through the shattered glass window catching on the particles suspeneded in the stagnant air.They moved deliberately,dust billowing into clouds as they passed.He continued to move through the house,kicking up more dust until it was difficult to see through the billions of air that now swirled into the air.Then they came to a third door,faded green paint curling with age,brass handles almost consumed by a thick network of cobwebs.They exchanged curious glances.Darren using his eye,prompted Jeremy to go on.He took a deep breath,reaching out, he turned it.

The wooden door flung open, without a knock. That sent Supt Cayson’s head upwards, towards the direction of the door. He frowned. He hated being rudely interrupted. He got ready to lash the offender with angry words.

A female figure bounced in.

The frown on his face soon disappeared and was replaced with a look of amazement and worry. What was she doing here? She just bursted in. It was strange of her to do that. She looked worried and nervous. She seldomly visit him at work – only when there was trouble. He stood up hastily. “What is wrong? Are you okay?” he inquired, pushing himself to meet her.

Tricia lazily staggered towards her dad. She had just been humilated – the worst ever. It had never happened, ever. She’d played the fool, pleading for a man to have affection for her. Her emotions propelled her to act that way, she wasn’t thinking straight. That was that, nothing could be done about it. All she needed at that instant was comfort. Comfort from the only person she knew loved her, cared for her and was willing to risk anything for her safety and happiness. That one person was David Cayson – her papa.

David warmly welcomed his daughter into his arms. He held her affectionatley, gently giving her pats at intervals on her back. She was sobbing, this time. He had no idea what was bothering her, what put her in that situation and made her cry. It was what he could not comprehend at that instance; however, he was willing to bring her comfort, consolation and soother her. He was ready to do away with all negative feelings surging through her.

“Calm down, my darling, calm down,” he spoke calmly, hoping it’d take some of her anxiety away.

Tricia was not able to bottle up what she felt anymore. It took her by surprise when she broke into tears in her father’s arms – she was hardly moved to tears. It felt nice expressing her innermost feelings that way. She tried to control it, tried to stop the tears from falling. They didn’t relent, it kept running down her cheeks more and more; especially as she recalled how Jeremy walked out on her. He took no pity. He didn’t feel sorry for her. Neither did he endeavour to understand her feelings. Her viewed her as a pathetic human being. What wrong had she done just to need someone like she’d never done before? The most shameful part of the scenerio was the fact that Jeremy had his house servants throw her out of the house. It was simply unbelievable. She was treated like a commoner, a nobody. They dared laid their disgusting hands on her. It was a pitiable situation.

Her sobbing increased to the next level as those events invaded her thoughts. She wondered why Jeremy had deemed her fit to recieve such cheeky treatment. She was filled with despair, anger and grief. Despair towards having any lasting relationship with Jeremy or any other man. Anger towards Jeremy for abandoning her and treating her like unwanted garbage. Grieving herself, her loss for not being his Purity. She hadn’t got what she needed.

“Tricia,” David whispered.

Damn it! she thought. Why did he have to call her that? She wants to be called Purity, not Tricia. Wouldn’t anyone just listen and grant her request? Was it that difficult? “Father,” she croaked, “Is anything wrong with me?”

“I don’t understand you, my dear,” David replied, confused.

“Why do men reject me? I’m not called Purity, is that the reason?” she asked, clinging unto her father.

There was something defintely going on with Tricia. Why was she suddenly obsessed with that name? And who on earth was the guy that rejected her? What was happening in her life? “My love, no guy rejeceted you. You’re soon to be married. Jeremy, right?” he smiled, there was warmth in his voice. He wanted her to feel it.

“Hell no! He’s not!” she screamed, breaking free from her father’s grip. She held his gaze, “I’m not getting married to him.”

“What? What is it you’re saying? I saw your engagement ring, you…” he sighed, coming his hair with a hand. “You showed it to me. He can’t end things with you.”

“I lied,” she bluntly confessed, looking away.

David found her revelation shocking and incomprehensible. What did she mean by that? The whole thing was a lie? Was that why Jeremy never made it to dinner? Who lies about being engaged to a man? He couldn’t believe his daughter had turned into a liar.

A tap on his door dragged him out of his thinking. He turned to it. He stared curiously at the two men standing by it. He was in no mood for any troubles. “Yes?”

“There’s an urgent matter at hand,” Myles reported.


>>

A young lesbian goes to her gynecologist for her yearly pelvic examination. She puts on the paper gown and awaits him to come into the exam room. He instructs her to get up onto the table and place her feet in the stirrups.


As he is examining her she hears him saying, “Hmmmmm… hmmmhmmm…”


He completes the examination, instructs her to dress and then meet him in his office when she is done.


In his office she asks him if there was anything unusual that he observed during the exam because she could not help but hear his non-verbal comments.


“Oh, that!” he says. “I was just admiring you. You have the cleanest vaginal area that I have ever seen in all my years of practice.”
The young woman proudly smiled and replied, “Why thank you! I have a woman come clean it twice a week!”Related

A mind could remember someone for a while;

On feet, we could walk easily for a mile;

A new fashion won’t forever be in style;

But having you as a friend would forever be worthwhile!Related

A TOUCHING STORY AKPORS TOLD The teacher came into d class and asked:who can tell us a touching story
Akpors raised his hand.
Teacher:Akpors go on!
Akpors:I was coming back from farm one day, a girl blocked me on the way. I touched the girl,the girl touched me back. I touched her again and again and warn her not to touch me but she touched me back.
I now removed my cloths and pull off my pants.GUESS WOT I DID he asked d teacher.
The teacher who was aghast at what akpors was saying asked, what happend
Akpors: I touched her back!!!
That is the end of my TOUCHING STORY!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-31 16:10:09

342 Views




Akpos drank 12 bottles of beer. He got himself highly drunk and stagger out of the bar.
He ran into a man and woman romancing beside the bar.
He said to them "Foolss! I must make sure you bitches end up in hell".
"Who are you? And how dear you talk to us in such a rude manner" - the man replied angrily.
In a low voice, Akpos says "I’m Jesus Christ".
The man laughed and reply "No. That's impossible".
Akpos says, "Look, i can prove it"
He walk back into the bar with the man.
Immediate the bartender saw Akpos he exclaim, "Jesus Christ! you are here again?"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-04 16:26:39

9537 Views




One day, a girl called her boyfriend from school and this is how the conversation went...
GIRL:Hello sweetheart.
BOYFRIEND: Hello baby. How you doing?
GIRL: I'm good. I just want to make a request.
BOYFRIEND: Ok, go on.
GIRLFRIEND: All my wears are getting tight and outdated. I need to change my wardrobe. Can you help me?
BOYFRIEND: No problem. l will send a carpenter to your school to do it for you


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-15 00:42:54

284 Views



3 drunk [Read it]


three guys entered a taxi, the taxi driver knew they were drunk so he started the engine nd off it again . 'he told them'."we have reached" the 1st guy gave him money and the 2nd said thank you nd the 3rd guy gave the driver a slap.(the driver was shocked,thinking the 3rd guy knew what ge did,but he asked)driver:"what that for?" , 3rd guy:"control ur speed next tym, u almost killed us!".


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-24 21:03:47

583 Views




The fear of having, seeing, or thinking about an erect penis is called ‘ithyphallophobia’.Related

Akpos was taken to a new school after being expelled from his old school because of his gambling problem.
When akpos` dad took him to his class he informed his teachet about his childs problem and told her the only way akpos would stop was if he ever lost.
After school the next day akpos told his teacher he bets her 10$ she wouldn`t show him her butt,she did and was happy akpos had lost.Later akpos teacher got a call from his dad askin if she showed akpos her butt she replied yes then he said``damn that bastard he bet me 100 bucks he`ll see your butt by the end of today``


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-30 23:51:34

635 Views




Question of the day?

A girl sends her boyfriend who lives in another town a letter which read "I am sorry but i'm in love with a young,cute, adorable, intelligent and handsome guy. So i want us to end our relationship since I no longer love u. Please send my picture back to me. 2 DAYS LATER, The guy sent her an envelope containing 50 different pictures and a letter which read "PlS am sorry but i have forgotten your face so please select ur picture and send the rest back to me".
Now This is my Question: WHICH OF THEM BROKE THErnOTHERS HEART THE MOST?.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-30 18:50:48

1418 Views




teacher:if i give u 4 doughnut and collect 4 doughnut what remain in ur hand
Akpos:ah.na oil.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-21 21:14:48

473 Views




When will this Akpors have sense sef? That’s how his oga sent him on an errand the other day, see what transpired between both of them.Boss: Take this N150,000, go to computer village and buy me a quality laptop with a big RAM.Akpors: Okay!Akpors didn’t return after two days, so his Boss decided to reach him on phone.Boss: Hello, Akpors, what is keeping you so long?.Akpors: Well, you see, what happened is that, I’m having problems with the RAM.Boss: The RAM? How do you mean? Where are you now?Akpors: I’m on my way back from Kano.Boss: Kano?Akpors: Yes Kano. I bought the Laptop at Ikeja but I traveled to Kano to buy the big RAM.Boss: Oh my God!Akpors(gets angry): Oh my what?Boss: Are u normal?Akpors: I’m not a little child o! Is it not Laptop and big ram you send me?# One word for Akpors this time?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-03 16:44:04

1475 Views




THE MISTAKE OF MY LIFE

THE FINAL EPISODE

I was infuriated on seeing the wicked woman. So she’s the one troubling my family. This is the time to take my total revenge on her for all she did to me and still doing to my family.

She was stunned and speechless on seeing me and my daughter. I saw confusion written all over her. She came to remind my parents that the next hearing in court is the next day.

She drove out. We got into the house as i narrated my ordeal with Edwina to my mother. She cried bitterly and thanked God for saving my life.

My father came in and i stood up. I thought he would yell at me, telling me that i am not his daughter and that i should get out but to my greatest suprised. He embraced me and started pleading for forgiveness amidst sobs.

He said he has realised he was foolish for forsaking me. When my two sisters died, they became childless. I had to forgive him. He’s my father.

Since God had mercy on me and made a way for me where there seemed to be no way, i had no reason not to forgive him but the only person i doubted if i would ever forgive was Reginald and his stupid request for my daughter. I would never give him my daughter.

In court the next day, Edwina didn’t believe her eyes. She didn’t know i had become a lawyer. I defended my parents as i overpowered Edwina’s lawyer. I spoke English upon English with questions to silence my opponent lawyer.

I told the entire court that Edwina forged the documents. I brought up her child trafficking case in addiction to the one at hand. The Chief Judge asked me how i got to know.

I told him that i knew for long but had no evidence to bring her to book. I told them what i went through with her but i made sure i didn’t include Alfred and Felinda into the story.

She was handcuffed and held in custody while her house was searched. The number of girls in her house has reduced. I sought for Felinda but i didn’t see her. Some rooms were broken into and after everything.

Four human heads and two girls in different rooms were found. The girls were at the point of death of death as the were starved of food and water. This is enough evidence i said.

We returned to the court. The human heads and the two hostages were shown to everybody. There was a great commotion in the court.
Order was called for.

Edwina’s lawyer was too stunned to say anything and so, i fired on comdeming the wicked act and reminding the chief judge that such calamity attracts death penalty (as if he wasn’t aware)
At the end of everything. The land case was dismissed. Victory belonged to us.

My parents shed tears of joy as they both embraced me together. My father called me a great daughter. I was so happy.
Edwina was sentenced to death by firing squad. I waved her goodbye with a smile telling her that everybody must reap what he or she sows.

The black maria took her away. The court will have to go and lock her house.
Just then, i saw a man being led into the court for another case hearing. He looked like someone i know. I stared at him again.

Yes, its Alfred. That’s surely Alfred. My parents asked if i knew him. I told them he’s the one that saved me from Edwina, together with another lady called Felinda.
I decided to defend him. He had killed somebody.

The case was a tough one. I went close to him and whispered into his ears to say that he is not guilty that it was two man fighting.

The case seemed tough but on the next hearing, i won the case for him. He expressed gratitute. He knew the court would have sentenced him to life imprisonment or death as he had no one to defend him.

He told me that Felinda had died the previous year. I wept and prayed for her wherever she may be. I advised Alfred to start up a good business.

On getting home one day, i saw Reginald waiting for me. He was begging for my forgiveness. My parents begged me to forgive him. My daughter heard everything and demanded an explanation. I hid nothing from her.

Reginald embraced her. I quickly drew back my daughter. But at last, I forgave Reginald and allowed him give me a tight, long and warm embrace. I was crying. I allowed him access to his daughter but not to take away completely from me.

I later got married to Alfred. I was a happy woman. I recalled my trials and thanked God for everything. My mistake of getting pregnant before marriage almost ruined my life but i was successful in the end.


THANKS BE TO GOD...HALLELUJAH!!

THE End


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Jackson: i missed you too son
Desmond: was going on
Jackson: what do you mean by was going on?
Desmond: is just that;i can see that everyone seen to be busy clearing up and preparing food like you were expecting someone or is it that you are giving me a welcoming party(he and his dad laughed)

Jackson: naught boy
Desmond: dad;tell me please;so that i will dress like a king
Rose: so bad because we are expecting Georgina's parent to talk about the rubbish you have been acting on
Jackson: woman;watch your tongue
Desmond: good morning mom
Rose: honey;is like our guest is here
Desmond: this early
Rose: lets go and welcome them(enter Georgina and her parent)
Jackson: welcome my friend;how are you?
Billy: we are fine my friend
Rose: is been long you pay us a visit
Betti: and you too;you haven't pay us a visit for a very long time
Rose: you should sit down
Georgina: good morning sir
Rose: morning my daughter;how is school
Georgina: school is fine
Jackson: my daughter;i hope you are doing well in school?
Georgina: yes dad;i am always doing my best
Rose: that is good to hear
Georgina: thanks mom
Billy: young man;why are you standing in your house like a stranger. come on sit close to me;how are you?(he continue standing) Desmond;are you alright?
Desmond: yes sir;am fine;good morning sir
Betti: are you sure you are alright?
Desmond: sure i am fine
Faith: ma;the table is serve
Rose: alright;go on
Faith: thank you ma(exit Faith)
Rose: the table is set;let's go and eat
Betti: after you(after eating)

Billy: my son sit;you don't seems compose
Betti: why would she be compose when his conscience is disturbing him
Billy: woman keep quiet
Rose: why should she?when you all know what she is saying is true
Jackson: but is not the way to handle issue
Betti: anyway;since you two know the best way to handle this issue;you should handle it effectively
Jackson: my daughter
Georgina: yes daddy
Jackson: you know i always treated you has my own;when you and my son;are just friend and even after i and his mother betroth you to him. i still treated you like my own. so tell me everything that happen between both of you;that made him slapped you.
Desmond: dad;i didn't do that
Jackson: keep quiet;i wasn't asking you;young lady;answer me and don't get scared of anyone
Georgina: thank you sir;when i came back from the state;i notice that Desmond's attitude has change although not all were bad but i realised that he is always looking for my shortcomings,he tells me,i am mannerless and keep comparing me to poor people. i began suspecting that Desmond had a girlfriend.....
Desmond: that is not truth;don't listen to her
Jackson: shut your mouth. continue
Georgina: i tried asking Alfred but he said no,until Tunde's girlfriend told me that Desmond was dating one of her flatmate Stephanie

Desmond: Tina told you that?
Rose: young man;you see how worthless you are(he hit her)
Billy: it has not gotten to that;Georgina continue
Georgina: that was when i confronted him;he accepted and we had our first missed understanding. we came back again,he got to a point were i notice that Stephanie is stay away from Desmond but i don't have an ideal why. during those period,i notice that Desmond is not happy even of i tried to make him happy until i saw Desmond and his friend including their girlfriend and Stephanie in canteen;it was so clear to me,when i saw Desmond kissing her in public. something he said he hate to do even in private(Desmond's mom slapped him) and the most painful thing is that;i saw him hugging Stephanie in his compound one morning and when i separate them,he told me, 'i was desperate' and slapped me
Desmond: yes;i did say you are becoming desperate but i never did slap you(Georgina's mother slapped him)

Betti: you!all of a sudden my daughter has become desperate,i don't blame you
Billy: stop it;give the young man a break;you don't judge someone without hearing from him
Jackson: that is the fact
Billy: my son;tell us your part
Desmond: everything;she said is the truth. i had an affair with her;i kissed her;hugged her but i am innocent
Rose: you are sick,i can see you have brain problem
Desmond: i know mom;i have always been sick in your your eyes
Jackson: keep quiet young man
Desmond: am sorry dad;i just do not want to drag all of you into my mess. lets just end this thing
Georgina: Desmond;please don't say it;i may not be able to take it

Betti: if he want to end it;let him. he is not the only man in the whole wide world
Georgina: i cant take it mom(she turn to Desmond and knee)please;don't tell me is over
Desmond: stand up(he pull her up)and i am never going to say that;what i mean is that i am sorry for hurting you;for putting you into all this pain. please forgive me
Georgina: is alright and you also forgive me
Desmond: you have done nothing wrong;so you shouldn't be asking for forgiveness
Georgina: thank you(she hugged him)
Desmond: and also want to say am sorry to everyone for disappointing you all
Billy: is alright;you are a man
Jackson: that is my son
Betti: lets toast to this happy re-union
Billy: you are right (curtain)

Stephanie: last night was the night i slept like a baby
Monalisa: are you sure?
Stephanie: yes;i am sure;i really do missed you all(she hugged her)
Monalisa: naught girl;i have to got to work now
Stephanie: what about uncle?
Monalisa: he had travelled
Stephanie: alright;take care,buy something when you are coming back(she peck her)bye
Monalisa: bye;my baby. if you are going out;take care (to Vina)
Vina: i will;i thought you are not going to tell me,bye
Monalisa: naught girl;bye(exit Monalisa)
Stephanie: home sweet home;no place like home. i really missed here
Vina: are you sure you missed home?
Stephanie: i really do missed home;i missed the warm embrace from you(she hugged her)
Vina: young woman;do you want to stop my breath
Stephanie: why should i?

Vina: i missed you also,come here(Vina dragged her closer)so tell me how has it been in school
Stephanie: school is stressful and without fun
Vina: are you sure it is without fun?
Stephanie: yes;you just go to classes and come back
Vina: alright;don't worry;you will soon experience the fun of school life
Stephanie: i just hope so;excuse me. i want to get a glass of water
Vina: just go ahead;i want to watch an home movie
Stephanie: am coming back to watch it(exit and return with a glass of water)i really want to get through with Anita. i know she is worried sick about me since she can't call me and i haven't call. i missed her also
Vina: is she the only one you missed
Stephanie: not really;i missed all my flatmate but i missed her more(she pull the cup to mouth)

Vina: and Desmond(Stephanie got shock and pour water on her body)what is wrong with you?
Stephanie: nothing;am sorry;i just got shock. how do you know Desmond?
Vina: i don't know him;he is not your friend
Stephanie: yes;he is my friend but just a friend
Vina: i didn't say both of you have something (Vina stared at her)
Stephanie: why are you looking at me like that?
Vina: don't i normally look at you?is there something you are not telling me?is he having an affair with you?tell me. are you both dating?
Stephanie: God forbid;he had a betroth
Vina: then why did he give you that book and said from Desmond to my dearest baby
Stephanie: oh that;so that is where you saw the name?anyway is nothing;don't you call me baby?and anyone can call you baby right?
Vina: anyone can you baby;when you are related to them or he is your best friend but not just anyone especially guys
Stephanie: Desmond;is no anyone;he is my friend
Vina: is there something you are not telling me?are you in love with him?
Stephanie: Vina;Vina will you just stop
Vina: i thought i knew you. i don't any more(she stand to leave)

Stephanie: where are you going?
Vina: to my room
Stephanie: (she hold Vina's hand)fine;i was dating him(Vina turn and stared at her)don't give me that look;what i mean is that i pretended to be his girlfriend
Vina: i don't understand you
Stephanie: we were just pretending to be lovers
Vina: i still don't understand you
Stephanie: oh my God!Vina;what don't you understand?i said he and his friends had a bet on me,that if i fall for him,he will be given five hundred thousand
Vina: what?and you fall for him
Stephanie: no;i didn't;he told me about the bet before i agree
Vina: so you agreed because of the money
Stephanie: not at all;i agree because i wanted to know what it feels like to be in love and i also want people to get off my back
Vina: people like
Stephanie: other guys in campus
Vina: is alright;am sorry
Stephanie: is fine by me;if i were you i would have reacted same

Vina: so was he the one that bought you those.....
Stephanie: yes;he is the one and he is also the one that save me from the hand of my lecture
Vina: you have a problem with your lecture
Stephanie: but i have sort it out and he is also the one that save me from those rapist
Vina: am so sorry baby(she hugged her)am really sorry;that you are going through those pains all alone. why didn't you called?
Stephanie: i wanted to tell mom;when she called but she was so busy. anyway;i have settle it
Vina: don't worry;everything will be fine
Stephanie: i know everyone of you have been kind towards me. especially my sister;that is why i love you all
Vina: and we love you very much
Stephanie: please;promise me that you wouldn't tell anyone because i wasn't suppose to tell you;i promise him that i won't tell anyone
Vina: i promise i won't tell;is your secret with me;so when are you leaving
Stephanie: by Monday but i don't have phone for now
Vina: dony worry;am sure you will have a new phone
Stephanie: i pray so
Vina: let's prepare food(curtain)


Desmond: i hate myself(he used his hand to hit the wall)i hate it. i hate everything in this God forsaking world
Beauty: Desmond;your hand is bleeding;what happen to you?
Desmond: nothing;i just had a stretch. is nothing (he press his phone)i hate everything in this life
Beauty: are you sure you are alright?
Desmond: i don't know was wrong with Stephanie;her number is not going through and she didn't call me


SEE MORE.....


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Biwi : O Ji Sunte Ho?
Hubby : Nahi.

Shortest murder story.Related

Pappu ne exam k liye Question Paper banaya..

.

.

Paper dekhte hi saare bache behosh ho gye

.

.

.

.

.

Ques.. the:

.

.

1.China kis Desh me hai ??

.

2. 15 Aug kis Date ko Aati hai.. ??

.

3.Green Rang kis Color ka Hota hai.. ??

.

4.Tamatar ko Hindi me kya Bolte hai.. ??

.

5.Mumtaz ki Qabar me Kon Dafan hai.. ??Related

I sent her a message on whatsapp. Hi honey, how are you doing? She replied; Ofego dearie, I'm fine. Where are you? I asked. She replied; Daddy's driver is bringing me to school with Daddy's Camry, 2014 model. I texted back; Oh honey, that is lovely. I just wanted to tell you not to pay the bus conductor. I am at your back, and I have already paid for the both of us.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-20 08:01:06

276 Views



No s*x...... [Read it]


Categories Of Ladies Who Do Not Deserve ‘ No -
s *x Relationships ’
I have never debated before, online or offline, on
whether relationships should be free of love-
making or not; I am not a moral teacher and I
believe whoever that is 18 years and above,
living in Nigeria is an adult by the laws of the
land. This implies that I cannot judge whoever is
of the opinion that relationships should go with
love-making; in the same sense, I cannot give
names to people who feel that love-making
should never be part of relationships too! To
each, his or her opinion!
At this point, it is important to note that it is very
annoying to see how some ladies campaign for
No-s*x relationships without considering the level
of the authority they use in campaigning for this.
The truth is that you cannot be in Moscow and
expect not to feel cold!!! Below are the
categories of ladies that do not deserve a No-
s*x relationship:
1) Ladies who cohabit: How can you be staying
with a guy and all of a sudden, you wake one
morning to tell him that you want the relationship
to be free of s*x? Did you smoke grass? So
what have you been thinking all these months/
years? You think you can just convince him to
lose what he has been ‘eating’ all these years
just like that? Except you are breaking up if he
disagrees; don’t cohabit while thinking of No-s*x
relationship!
2) Ladies who depend on men for their daily
resources: You want a No-sexie but you want to
chop his cash? Demanding unnecessarily from
guys surely makes you vulnerable to s*x. You
can ask sometimes from male friends when in
need; after all, what are friends for? But you
should not make it a favourite hobby! Ladies who
do this do not deserve a No-sexie!!! There’s no
difference between the one that stands in
brothels and you!!!
3) Ladies who do multiple dating: Don’t you think
it is very unfair to deny Akporode s*x while
giving that same stuff to Emeka? Most often
than not, when some girls tell you that they want
a No-sexie, it doesn’t mean they are out of it. It
could mean that they have stopped it with you
and started it with someone else!!! A lady must
prove herself worthy of it. Anything far from this
should sincerely be seen as counterfeit! . If you
have not been faithful in the past, how do we tell
whether you would be faithful to the guy if he
eventually agrees to the No-s*x situation? You
surely lack the authority to campaign for this.
Trust is earned, it can never be commanded!!!
s*x is an important issue in a relationship which
must be seen as one! Don’t be too emotionally
carried away that you would outrightly condemn
it when you in person lack the authority or
platform to do that! In law, they say ‘He who
comes to equity must come with clean hands’. In
romance, they say ‘He who comes to No-sexie
must come with a good stand or authority to
back it up’!!!
Let’s call a spade a spade! Let’s not call it ‘that
instrument that is used to dig the soil’!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-07-24 14:45:11

358 Views




It is a bad plan that admits of no modification.

-Publilius SyrusRelated

Change is the law of live, those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. Learn to accept positive changes.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-13 23:08:36

185 Views




Santa Aur Banta Dono Theke Par Baith Ke Daaru Pee Rahe The.



Santa Har Ek Peg Ke Baad Jeb Se Kuch Nikaal Kar Dekhta Aur Phir Jeb Mein Daal Leta.



Banta: “Oye Ye Tu Baar Baar Kya Dekh Raha Hai Jeb Se Nikaal Ke?”



Santa: “Oh Yaar Biwi Ki Photo Hai, Jab Sunder Lagne Lagegi To Iska Matlab Chadh Gayi Hai?”Related

VALENTINE [Read it]


Hellooooo!!! Its valentine, nd want to e this medium to wish u all a happy valentine. And same time, who will be my val? Lol!!.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-14 11:04:50

184 Views




SUPER FADU JOKE …MUST READ



Old Lady to Doctor: Mujhe Gas ki problem hai par achhi baat ye hai ki meri gas me na BadBu aati hai na Awaaz

.

.

.

Aap k clinic me bhi 20 baar gas chhod chuki

hu par kisi ko pata nahi chala……

Doctor: “Ye Dawa lijiye aur 1 weekbaad aayiye”.

(1 week baad)

Old Lady:”Aap ne mujhe kya dawa de di….??

Meri gas me ab bhi aawaz nahi aarahi par bahut Zehrili Badbu aa rahi hai”

Doctor:”Good..! ­ ­ Aapki Naak theek ho gayi hai….

Ab hum aap k KAAN ka ilaaj karenge..:p:DRelated

COMEDY OR ERROR [Read it]



A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in
his room, so he decided to send a mail to his wife. he
accidentally typed d wrong email address, and
without realizing he sent the mail to a widow who has
just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her mail, expecting condolence
messages from relatives and friends. After reading d
first message she fainted. The son rushed into d room,
found his mother on the floor and saw d computer
screen which read:
'to my loving wife, i knw u are surprised to hear from me, they hv computers here and we are allowed to
send mails to loved ones. I 've just been checked in.
How are u and d kids, d place is realy nice but am
lonely here. I hv made necessary arrangement 4 ur
arrival 2morrow. Expecting u darling. I can't wait to
see u.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-11 23:06:36

973 Views



Overtime [Read it]


While Having An Interview,the Employer Ask Akpors
Employer:"how Long Did Your Last Job Last?
Akpors: 30yrs
Employer:how Old Are U
Akpors:20yrs Old
The Employer Was Surprised And Ask Akpors "how Possible Is That You Are 20yrs Old And You Already Have 30yrs Experience?
Akpors:i Worked Overtime.
One Word For Akpors


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-09 13:26:15

1251 Views




Promo!! Promo!!!
E don dey happen again oooo . . . !!
Slap the person beside you and get one free!
It is real!
I have tried it and i just received mine now.
For double offer or more, please try it with a
policeman, soldier or Mopol and your life will
NEVER remain the same!!
Hurry now and get yours!!
Offer Last till the End of the Year. Please
don't forget to share your testimony



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-25 23:02:56

280 Views



DEATH OF AKPOS [Read it]


Akpos dies and was told there are different hell for every country, so he tries to seek out the least painful one.
At the door to German Hell, he is told: "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." He does not like the sound of that, so he checks out American Hell, Russian Hell and many more.
They are all similarly gruesome. However, at Nigerian Hell a long line of people is waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?" He is told: "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
Then the Nigerian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." "But that's the same as the others," says the man.
"Why are so many people waiting to get in?" "Because of the power cuts, the electric chair does not work.
The nails were paid for but never supplied, so the bed is comfortable.
And the Nigerian devil used to be a civil servant, so he comes in, signs his time sheet and goes back home for private business."
.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-31 21:53:05

430 Views




Who love me most (season 2)episode 4

Chidi went close to her

Chidi :hi

Amara turned and was shocked to see chidi standing close to her

Amara :hi

Chidi :you look great

Amara :thanks

Chidi :how have you been

Amara :good

Chidi :and your fiancé

Amara hesitate to answer him

Amara :he's fine

Chidi gave a weak smile

Chidi:why him

Amara :i don't get you

Chidi: after all this years i till can't believe you left me for him

Amara :it none of your business on who i choose to spend my life with

Chidi f course it's none of my business but seriously not that asshole

Amara Amara got annoyed)oh please don't say such words against him as if you are better then him

Chidi :i am better then him in everything

Amara h really,do you really think so of yourself, well to me you are lesser then anything i know

Chidi :i am lesser but do you know why for letting you get to me for letting you hurt my heart,

Amara :hurt,you are talking about hurt, what about you

Now her voice was Lond

Amara :you didn't hurt my heart you broke it (tear rolling down her cheek )and you stand here to tell me you were hurt,i give you more then I had and you took it for granted, you put me in a situation i never hoped of facing in my life.

Chidi was touched and his heart was bleeding inside

Chidi angrily )i didn't take you for granted, i never took your heart and break it,i have always accepted all what you gave and i cherished it,i didn't let you down but amara you left me,you choose to believe him and you left me without thinking twice,if it was you amara i couldn't have left i could have stayed with you and figure things out myself, do you know how i have been all this years trying to forget you,you took everything from me,you look me at the face and said your goodbyes,no matter how wrong i was you could have till looked at me,you were the one that lied to me,you promised never to leave me not matter what but you left me,you were the one that took me for granted,cause you took the love i gave to you and throw it back to my face,you were the one that broke my heart,because you couldn't trust me,you know what maxwell is not the devil you are,and believe me i regret ever loving you and curse the day i met you,i came to talk thinking it was the right thing to do but now I just knew i made a mistake.

Chidi angryly left,Amara was dumbfounded she couldn't say a word or do anything but to cry her heart out.

*************************
The next morning amara didn't go to work,she wasn't feeling too well because of the encounter she had with chidi,she saw maxwell well missed calls on her phone, maxwell has been calling her since yesterday night,she tryed calling him back but his phone was switched off,she then decided to go see him because she knew she had to give him an explanation and if she doesn't go now it will get worse, she arrived at maxwell house and horn,the gate man quickly open the gate and she drove in,she came down from the car the gate man finished closing the gate.

Amara :is your oga around

Gateman:yes he dey inside

Amara lock the door of her car and went inside the house as she entered the sitting room she met maxwell kissing and romancing a girl on the couch, she wasn't surprised on what she was seeing because that wasn't the first time she has caught him,she has caught him on two occasions,one in am hostel and the other in a restaurant, she drop her bag on the table which made a sound that got maxwell attention, maxwell was so disappointed when he saw amara

Maxwell :you didn't tell me you were coming

Amara :your phone was switched off and i just know why,your hands were full

Amara looked at both of them with disgusted

Amara :maxwell i thought your brain were working now i see that there is nothing in there,if you want to do this rubbish could you at least go upstairs, what if someone else walked in here and saw you fooling yourself with this what ever her name is,or should I call her thing

The girl got angry

Girl:what did you just say, you open your month to insult me

Maxwell looked at her with anger

Girl:see you better behave yourself or else

Maxwell (shout )will you shut up

The girl was confused to hear what maxwell said

Maxwell :do you realise you are talking to my fiancee, who told you to talk,now get out,(but she was till sitting looking at maxwell as if she didn't hear what he said)i said get out before I kill you

The girl quickly took her belongings and left upset

Maxwell :are you happy now you have succeeded in spoiling my good mood

Amara :for real (now upset)you call this good mood,you call sleeping around with girls good mood,what are you thinking that doing this will make me go to bed with you.

Maxwell :if i wanted to have sex with you believe me it won't take me a minute to do it,and beside why are you bothered,you should be thankful they are actually doing the jod you couldn't do.

Amara:i hate you maxwell, and i regret knowing you,the truth is that I can't believe I left chidi for you,only God knows who the real devil is

Maxwell :Are you telling me this to my face

Amara :i am not telling you i am letting you know, and if you are not careful maxwell, if I could leave chidi yours will be too easy

She took her bag and left,maxwell called her back but she didn't even wait one seconds,maxwell was so mad and angry, Amara drove out of maxwell house,she burst into tears while driving, she couldn't think straight and needed some company,she drove down to Sandra shop,sandra own a big supermarket, after school she wanted to do something different for herself and she got the idea of opening a supermarket her father help her in building the place and give her money to start it up and ever since then she has been doing well,she went straight to Sandra office,sandra was surprise to see amara so depressed and in tears, she consoled her and sat her down,she went to her sit and sat down.

Sandra :what is it,why are you looking this way

Amara :Sandra, i am so confused, i don't know what to do

Sandra :what happened

Amara :i caught him again with another woman right in the sitting room,i don't know what to do

Sandra :what did he say this time

Amara :same old story

Sandra :how long will this go on,i don't get it,why can't you put a stop to all this rubbish,maxwell isn't good for you,end this so called relationship and find someone else who will really love you.

Amara :it's not as easy as you think,my parents wants me to marry him and they won't accept anyone else but him,and secondly how can I deal with myself if I leave him,he owns almost everything i have,you know without him i won't be working now.

Sandra:amara listen to yourself, look don't let situation make decision for you,you have to stand up for yourself, i don't know what more to say that will make you see reasons with me,can't you see you are suffering.

Amara :i am trying Sandra i am,but I just don't know how to get away from him,my parents

Sandra :stop talking about your parents, don't worry you can do this, yes you can just try to have a little faith and all will be well

Amara stoped crying and Sandra tryed to cheer her up

Sandra :so what happened between you and chidi yesterday after you left he was looking for you

Amara was surprise

Amara :he was

Sandra :yes,what happened i didn't get to ask you yesterday, so

Amara :i really don't want to talk about this today

Sandra key i understand,okey now why don't we get ourselves busy

Amara :with what

Sandra:let just go out to anywhere,that will really work for you right now

Amara refused at first but later gave in after Sandra begged her,they both left the office.

DROP YOUR COMMENTS AND
READ NEXT EPISODE


>>

Two drunk friends were returning home in the night after drinking a lot of beer. On getting home they ment the gate locked, they knocked and knocked but there was no answer from inside the compound since they were all sleeping. After thinking hard and long one of the drunk friend brought out a torchlight and said to the second drunk friend, i will put on this torchlight and direct it above the fence you climb the ray go inside the compound and wake them up to come open the gate. The friend replied, do you think i am stupid or that drunk, i know your plan. You want me to climb the ray so that when i am half way there you will now switch off the torchlight and i will now fall down and break my legs.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-28 11:14:28

1044 Views



Confession! [Read it]


A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
“You will understand,” he said, “the seal of the confessional, can never be broken. However, I got my first impressions of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I can only hint vaguely about this, but when I came here twenty-five years ago I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had stolen a television set, and when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. Further, he told me he had embezzled money from his place of business and had an affair with his boss’s wife. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that, and I had, indeed come to, a fine parish full of understanding and loving people.”
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk.
“I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in this parish,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.”Related

Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?

A: Because they advertised `free delivery`Related

Teenage Love. [Read it]


**PART ONE**
CHAPTER 1…….
It was a bright saturday morning
on the 7th of september 2013.
Akinola oluwasegun was walking
along a popular street in Ibadan,
Oyo state. He was dressed in a
white T-shirt and a black pant
trouser and a black vickers shoe.
He was on his way to Loyola
College, a government owned
secondary school around Agodi
gate GRA Ibadan for his WAEC GCE
exam.
He entered into the school
compound and walked towards
the school building. Being his
first paper English Language, he
had no idea of where the
examination hall was situated.
So, he had to ask for help from
other candidates who had come
the previous days for chemistry
practicals and Commerce. He
walked up to a girl seated on the
staircase reading to ask for the
help.
“Hello, good morning.” he
greeted.
“Good morning.” she replied.
“Please, are you here for exam?”
he asked.
“Yeah.” she replied.
“Okay. Please, which way is the
examination hall.” He asked.
“I don’t know. This is my first
time here.” She answered.
(disappointed) “Okay, lets ask
others the way to the exam hall.”
He adviced.
“Okay.” She replied standing up
and dusting her skirt.
*TEN MINUTES LATER*
The invigillator walked into the
exam hall carrying a green sack
with the inscription; WEST
AFRICAN EXAMINATION COUNCIL.
No 62. He was accompanied by
five teachers of the school.
A laptop was removed and with
a thumb printing device attached
to it.
“Line up for your biometrics.”
one of the teachers barked.
After the completion of the
biometrics. The candidates were
asked to sit down according to
their numbers. The answer
booklets and the question
papers were first distributed
before the attendance was
marked. The paper lasted two
and a half hours. The paper
ended by 11:30am and they
were given 3hours break before
the commencement of the paper
2&3(objectives & the Test of
Orals respectively).
Outside the examination hall,
students were seen in group,
some in fours, in fives and so on
discussing and arguing over the
just concluded paper.
Oluwasegun(segun for short)
wast sitting alone under a big
three near the school football
pitch. He was flipping through
the pages of the WAEC English
language past question. Just then
someone tapped him from
behind. He looked up and saw
his cousin Omolayo Akinola.
He stood up and hugged her.
“What are you doing here?” he
asked.
“I came to greet my friends
writing their exam here. She
answered.
“Where is your centre?”
“Ikolaba grammar school.”she
replied.
“Most of my friends are in that
centre.”he said.
“Are you the only one here?” she
asked.
“Yes, am the only one here from
my school.”he answered.
“You must be feeling lonely
o.”she said.
“Yeah”………
The gisted for like ten minutes
before Omolayo stood up to go,
“Let me introduce you to my
friends over there.” she said
pointing to a group of 2 boys
and 4 girls gisting.
He stood up and followed her
towards the group. Immediately
they saw them approach they
stopped talking.
“Where have you been? One of
her friends jummy asked
Omolayo suspiciously.
Ignoring her question. “Meet my
cousin, Segun. Segun meet my
friends.” she introduced.
“Hi guys.” he greeted.
“Hi.” They chorused.
They all hung around till it was
1:30pm, 30minutes before the
next paper.
“Bro, i think we should get going
so, we won’t be late.” Omolayo
said.
“Alright, bye. Segun answered.
Omolayo left with four of her
friends remaining two who were
also in segun’s centre. Among
which was Jummy.
–to be continued–


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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April-fool [Read it]


On 2nd April As Akpan Was Coming Back From School,he Was Jubilating,singing Praises,"as He Went Home His Father Called And Said"this One U Are So Happy Like This"what Is It?Hmm! Papa U Will Not Undersd"said Akpan"infact Papa I Have Made It.And His Father Said Ok Now Can U Tell Me What It Is,,.Akpan Said 'papa, I Have Win Free Education And I Will Be Send To U.S.A To Go And School There For Free.His Father Said No Problem But When Are U People Traveling? Akpan Said On 20th Of Dis Month Papa.Ok B/4 That Time I Will Know What 2 Do,'said His Father.He Started Preparing For Him, He Sold His Only Car And Even One Piece Of Land That Belong 2 Him,he Also Went 2 The Bank And Boro #500.000.As He Was Doing All This Things He Never Discursed Any Thing To Akpan Until 19th Night As He Finished,he Called His Son"akpan"and He Answered''sir'and His Father Said 2 Him,u Know U Will Travel Tomorrow 2 U.S.A,so As U Will Go There Try And Read Hard,hiee! Akpan Shouted Nd Said'Dat Was April Fool Oo.Guess Wat Akpan Father Do 2 Akpan.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-17 17:57:05

497 Views




One day a priest was passing by quiet street and then saw a young lad struggling painstakingly to look over a fence to see something best known to him at the other side.The priest out of mandate by his office to help those in dire need of help, decided to lift the boy up so he could see the hell a thing he wanted to see.Just immediately he lifted the boy up, a voice came from the other side of the fence saying ,'' who are those people peeping at a woman taking her bath?''.







Nsogbu di.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-20 17:23:38

605 Views





WIFE: Darling why are you home this earlywearing such a long face?AKPOS: Had a terrible day, ilost all my colleagues today at work.WIFE: Blood of Jesus! Whathappened?AKPORS: There was a fire outbreak down inthe tunnel and everybody died!WIFE: What a pity! Darling I thank God forkeeping you alive. How did you make it outmy dear?AKPOS: Darling, it was God's work. Mystomach was upsetting me so, I took a breakto ease myself in the toilet.WIFE: Darling, thank God youare alive. What would have Happened to us?I feel so much pity for their families. So bad,how are they going to survive now?AKPOS: My dear its a pity, but UNITEDNATIONS has decided to give the families ofthe deceased $10million each.WIFE: What?!!!!! Ten millionwhat? So because of your useless stomachupset and the foolishtoilet and your refusal to diewith your colleagues.......make me miss thatmoney?? I beg if you don't want trouble, goback and die with your colleagues.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-15 07:43:47

360 Views



Bad Trademark [Read it]


Today, I remember a short time ago when I used to teach in a private nursery school. A pupil of mine had
come to class in the morning like this with trademark on his face. What
happened? I asked. Uncle, our house is very small, he explained, my
daddy, mummy and me, sleeps on the same bed. Every night, my daddy asks,
if I'm sleeping. I say, no, and he slaps me on the face and gives me
trademark. I told this little boy that, that night, if his father asks
if he's sleeping, he should keep shut, and pretend he's sleeping and
shouldn't answer.
The next morning, the boy came to class with the
worst trademark on his face ever. Oh my God!, I exclaimed. Why this
trademark again, this one is even worst, what happened this time?, I
asked. He replied; Last night my daddy asked me again If I'm sleeping, I
didn't answer. I just kept shut and pretended I was sleeping as you
told me to. Then my daddy and mummy started moving. At the same time
mummy was breathing heavily, kicking her legs up on the bed. Then my
daddy asked my mummy, are you coming? My Mummy said, yes, I'm coming!
Are you coming too? My Mummy asked. My Daddy said, yes.

They don't usually go anywhere without me, so I said, wait for me, I'm coming too!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-05 07:29:43

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Rahul Gandhi needs to marry now. With a mother, you are always in the ruling party. Only a wife can teach you how to survive in the opposition!Related
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