Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


I kept Kofi out of the loop from my ordeal. Also, I had given stern warnings to Askaline
not to tell a soul about my incidence. The only news that circulated was that I’d been sick
and admitted in the hospital. I get better after locking myself in my room for ages. The
boredom suddenly begins driving me crazy. I call Kofi to come around so we can just
drive on an empty road – a road that leads to nowhere. He comes around and drives the car while I sit beside him having my head lean on his
shoulders and legs folded on the car seat. I feel cozy and protected around him. We
decide to visit a local restaurant ‘Papaaye’ and order for their locally grilled tilapia.
A live band plays Kwabena Kwabena hit song ‘Begye me’ at the background. I stand up
and grab Kofi’s hands to have a dance with me. We dance with one melodious heart as
our movements are in rhythm. He knows where to turn to and wherever I go, he is there waiting to grab me.
The tilapia is well grilled and served on a table for us. We finish the first round and I
order for another round. I enquire from Kofi if he will have another bite but he declined
my offer so I had two grilled fish all to myself. When I was done, I called the waiter to
hand over the bill and I paid. Kofi is relieved as he exhaled heavily; apparently, he
thought he would be the one to pay for the expensive tilapia. “Oh Kofi, You thought you would be the one to pay for the tilapia? Kofi smiles with a
smug plastered on his face.
We depart the place and drive along the eerie path that leads to Tawala beach.
We get to the beach and hop down from the car. We are ushered by the cold breeze that
Tawala beach boast of. I have always found delight going to the beach especially at
night. I gently lean on Kofi to remove my shoes and lay my naked legs on the ground to the feel the natural sands fiddling with my legs until we are closer to the ocean.
The frigid ocean waves coursing on our legs and as we tried to lurch backwards, it was
rather too late for us, we were already wet. Kofi bend down; momentarily frozen and
slosh the sea water on me.
“Oh Kofi” I coyly remark.
I did same, splashing it on him with no mercy. Within a while, it becomes fuss as we are soaked in water and at a point in time we fall to the ground and the awkward moment
comes in. He is on top of me giving me a square look. He gently plants a kiss on my lips.
I feel the warm briefly. Then, I wanted more of his kisses. I go in for another kiss by
pulling his head to mine. Kissing him is wonderful as my heart dances to a new song.
The heat gets uncontrollable. We realize we are in a public environment. We decide to
get some drinks at the bar. We sight some guys sitting by the bartender smoking tobacco and having bottles of Jack & Daniels splattered on the table. I am frightened at
the sight. It is no one else than my enemy ‘Emeka’. I hid my face quickly behind Kofi’s
shoulders but Emeka had spotted me from afar. To my awe, Emeka shouts, “Kofi the bad
boy! How is it?”
“I’m good Emeka, how is everything?” Kofi reply walking to him and leaving me behind.
I am shocked beyond words. I gaze at both of them exchanging pleasantries and Emeka points at me to Kofi, my jaws
almost drop to the ground. Kofi comes and says we should leave the place at once. My
mind is still trying to process all that has happened in the last few seconds.
“How do you know Emeka?” I feel my frigid fingers jiggling.
“It’s a long story Merissa, I promise to explain when we are out of here.”
“Okay” We leave the place and take off. “Do you know what that bastard had put me through in this campus?” I flare. “That
insane being made me go through hell and even threatened my life, my friends and my
parents.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry about that anymore,” Kofi replies.
“How do you mean, I don’t have to worry about that? What link do you have with those
guys? I hope it not what I am thinking?” “What are you thinking? I am not part of his gang if that is what you are thinking,” he
brusquely replies.
“Then what is it dear? I don’t want you to associate yourself with that bastard.”
“What I'm about to tell you Merissa might come to you as a shock and you have to
promise me that you won't fidget.”
“Oh My God! Kofi, you scaring me, please don't tell me you are part of Emeka's clan. If you are, please just tell me.”
At this point, I know I wouldn’t forgive Kofi if truly he is part of the cult. What would
happen to us, our relationship; have invited him to my home, introduced him to my
friends. At this point I am not so sure if the Angel you know or the Demon you never
know is my worst nightmare. My stomach growl and my heart throb. I can’t control my
breath. Abruptly, I step on the brakes and have the car parked at the tail of a bridge underneath surrounded by stagnant water. I look into his eyes waiting for him to
confess.
He says, “Emeka is …


>>

I have really missed a lot from this site due to my research and thesis that I have to present to my school. I will soon be an active member again.
My regards to Kasieze (#B-goF ),
Centee B who changed to Centee Best (#B-goF),
Innocent who also changed to Bravo (#B-goF), Centee Best's wife, and many more in the house... miss you all. #B-goF


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-29 23:39:36

251 Views




Dosti Ke Rishte Buhut Lambe Hote Hein. Pata Nahi Kaha Tak Chalein Ge!

Do Kadam Tum Chalna aur Do Kadam Hum Chalein Ge…

.

.

.

.

.

.

Baad Mein Auto Kar Lenge…Related

1. AMERICAN POLICE STYLE : Allow
the thief to catch you, then you
catch the thief.
2. CHINA POLICE STYLE : Chase the
thief until he becomes tired then you catch
him... .
3. ARAB POLICE STYLE : Kidnapp the thief's
wife
and then
threaten the thief to surrender..
4. INDIAN POLICE STYLE : Sing for the thief until he comes close to
you, then catch them..
.
5. NIGERIAN POLICE STYLE : Catch any
person
on the street, beat him until he agrees that he's a
thief.
TRUE OR FALSE....??


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-10 18:14:10

666 Views




BLIND BY NATURE EPISODE 10 (STORY BY DINDY)
do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission,thank you for reading this story...


.... MEAN WHILE BACK AT JULIAN'S DREAM WORLD.........
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> After Julian's dad fell to the ground, Julian who scream with her eyes closed opened it and then she saw herself in a courtroom..."DREAM MAGIC".....the tears which was on her eyes were no more,Julian was confused and didn't clearly understand what was really happening,things just appeared right in front of her too fast,the clothes she wore was different. She sat on a small baby's chair,and was chained down with an unbreakable dog chain which was very hot. Julian's dad was kept in a wooden cage, on a large plain iron,he sat on a wheel chair inside the cage because his legs were no more, due to the bullet which penetrated into his bones breaking it behold repair or healing. The judge was about 250cm away from Julian's dad,The judge was an old man in his 70s,he wore a medicated glass,the glass was balanced at his nose bone,the judge opened a small tiny book that weigh the same size with the weight of the entire galaxy. There were about 5 police men in the court,three police men stood close to Julian's dad,while the other two stood where the judge was. There were no lawyers, judiciary or audience.
Judge:"sir you murdered a man,and you tried to run away from your crime",he said looking at the book.
judge:" Therefore i find you guilty for what you did",he said.
Judge:" And I sentence you to life in prison with hard labour",he said standing up.
Judge:"take him away,this case is closed!", he said in a loud voice.
Julian:"noooooo!!!!!",she screamed as her body forwarded.
Julian:"please don't take my dad away from me,please don't take him away please",she said trying to set herself free from the hold of the hot chains which bites into her skin, as tears filled her beautiful eye and gentle soul.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian screamed and cried out so loud that it echoed around the courtroom bouncing on the surrounding walls of the room,she tried all her best to escape from the chair she sat on, but it was impossible,she dangled and wobbled,but nothing flicked the hard strong chains. She watched right in front of her as her dad was pushed away into a place of no return. As Julian was crying and screaming with her face facing down,she left a wet hand on her neck,the hand held her neck tightly.
Judge:"do you think you are going to escape after you and your dad knocked me down with your car",he said pushing her face upwards for julian to see me properly.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> She tried to talk but words were not able to come out her vocal cords, due to the tightened hold on her neck. She twisted her hands trying to escape from the hot hot. As her eyes moved upwards,she was totally shocked by what she saw. The old judge was now a Youngman...."DREAM MAGIC"....his face and was filled will blood and his hands too,he was the guy her dad knocked down.
Julian:talking in a slim thin tone due to the lack of air supply down to her lung with her eyes popped out; like a cap of a wine ,"How is it possible,you,you are dead".
Judge:"you and your dad will pay in death",he said holding her neck so tight which made her eyes roll up, singing to the heavens.
.......BACK IN REAL LIFE.........
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian's dad entered into the car to wake her back to reality,because she didn't respond when he stood outside the car and called her.
Julian's dad:"Julian wake up, wake up", he said tapping her on the shoulder.
Julian:"oh God!", she said in a high voice and in fear,pushing her body out of the seat.
Julian's dad:"what is it dear?",he asked trying to know why she reacted in such manner.
Julian:"oh thank God you still here dad", she said placing her left hand on her neck, due to the pain which she felt in the dream that came to life.
Julian's dad:"what are you talking about?,wait,did you have a bad dream?",he asked.
Julian:" Dad please don't worry",she said, covering up the question asked by her dad.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> she knew that if she told her dad,he will be totally unease and will be confused.
Julian:"so dad what about the man?", she asked trying to know whether the dream she dreamt was real.
Julian's dad:" Well dear we depend on God right now",he said.
Julian's dad:"the doctors took him to the operating room,I hope he scales through",he said.
Julian:"I pray also dad",she said with her hands still on her neck.
Julian's dad:" your hands has being on your neck since,what is wrong dear",he asked.
Julian:"dad its nothing",she said as she quickly dropped her hand.
Julian:"dad I think its time we settle this once and for all",she said with a sad face.
Julian's dad:"ah not now dear,as you can see,we have an issue right now",he said.
Julian:"dad please there is no better time than now",she said.
Julian's dad:"but dear I don't want you to do that operation, the doctor told me that its a 20/80 chance,he said you might end up dying in the process,I am really afraid dear",he said then faced downwards.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> she placed her left hand around gently searching for her dad's hands,her dad noticed that she was searching for his hands,so he help her by holding her hand.
Julian:"dad please believe that God won't let me die in the operation,dad please I really wanna do this,I really wanna see how the world is like,I really wanna see your face dad,I am tired of imaginations. Please dad let me do this operation",she said holding her dad.
Julian's dad:breaths out then said, "ok dear I accept".
Julian:"oh thank you dad",she said in an exciting tone,then she hugged her dad.
Julian's dad:"ok dear",he said with a smile.
Julian's dad:"dear please lets go inside the hospital",he said.
Julian:"good idea dad",she said.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian's dad got down from the car,then he went to help Julian out of the car,then they both went into the hospital,when they got in, they sat down hoping and waiting for a good news.
......BACK IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM.....
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> The nurses made sure that Celestin's body was kept in stabled balance,they all knew that any change in his body may lead to disaster. Although celestin had blood coming from all parts of his face,his brain didn't crack,and he wasn't bleeding internally,the blood which came out from his mouth,ears and nose was due to the force and shock which send blood cells the wrong directions. So there was no need for a brain surgery, the doctor just closed up the deep cut which was on his face stopping the excessive bleeding,the nurses helped him with the injury at the back of his head and the ones on his hands,they made sure that all the injuries which was on his body was sealed up not to allow infection get into his system,but not all could be fixed under minutes and that was his left leg which was badly broken.
Doctor:large amount of blood splashed on the operating uniform he wore then he said, "shit he is loosing too much blood on this side,we can't fix his bone from the angle,we better try the other side,please nurse seal back this part of his leg".
Nurse 3:"ok sir",she said as she frist used cotton and spirit to reduce the bleeding, then she used a needle and thick thread to close up Celestin's skin.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> the doctor tried another angle,and was very careful in his decisions. Celestin soul was no more with him, he could see how his own body was operated on by the doctor and nurses.he couldn't get back into his body because he wanted to leave this life,he turned his back then ascended above to the spirit world.
.........IN THE SPIRIT WORLD......
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Celestin saw himself in a land where everything was white and shinny.
Voice:" Celestin my lovely son I have missed you alot", said the voice very peacefully.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Celestin turns to know the person that called him. After he turned he was so happy to what his eyes behold.
Celestin:"dad its you",he said as smile came upon his face and joy filled his soulful heart.
Celestin's dad:" Yes son its me,come to daddy son",he said with a smile.
Celestin:"daddy"he said running to his dad.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> when he got close to him,and he hugged his dad emotionally. Then they detach themselves from each other.
Celestin's dad:"son please come with me,I want to take you to a place of peace",he said placing his right hand across Celestin's neck with a smile on his face.
Celestin:"ok dad,lets go",he said smiling.
.....MEAN WHILE BACK IN THE REAL WORLD.....
Nurse 3:"sir his pulse is dropping,his heart rate is reducing too quickly.
Doctor:"oh no,not again",he said sadly.
Doctor:"charge up the heart revival machine",he said..............................

...... AN HOUR AFTER THE OPERATION.......
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian and her dad were waiting for the result of the operation,they both prayed in their minds for the young man to survive the operation. Julian's dad phone rang,he was about to pick it when.........
Doctor:"you most be the man that brought that young man to the hospital",he said gently and slowly.
Julian's dad:jumps up leaving his phone then said very quickly,"yes,yes sir i am the one sir".
Doctor:"sir I am really sorry sir,we were not able to save his poor soul,he gave up...........",he said with a sad face.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian's dad was not able to hear the other things the doctor said,he placed his hands on his head,tears filled his eyes,he became scattered. Julian started crying knowing that the dream she had was true and it was going to destroy her life for good..........................................to be continue
DINDY TALKING
What will really happen?,will Julian's dream come to be of life?,will her dad be jailed?. Well find out in the next episode
DINDY TALKING
Hello guys,I am going on a break for two months, from now until September,so for now no more stories,I will continue this story after my break,I really need this break because I need to rest my brain,it has been working since the beginning of this year till now,I know you guys will miss my stories but don't worry,I will still be posting other stuffs like inspirational write ups which was written by me,but you never can tell,I may continue this story by next month..... To all my fans out there,I love you guys for loving my stories, and I really thank you for all your support,please guys always feel free to ask me what so ever you wanna ask me, and if you just wanna talk to me feel free. Please I am the original writer of all the stories posted by me DINDY AKA NNAMDI.
My up coming stories are
1)lone wolf(dindy's love life;true story)
2)Bus.......more.......please guys always try to comment on my stories,it really makes me happy,and it pushes me more to write more stories.....MUCH LOVE FROM DINDY AKA NNAMDI....THANK YOU FANS,LOVE YOU ALL
story by DINDY AKA NNAMDI.........whatsapp number:07087750433.... [email protected]@gmail.com or [email protected] facebook namessy nnamdi.......Skype: 07087750433 or [email protected]


NAIRAJOKES.COM




Rate this story
Add Your Own Rating



Interesting



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Educative



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Unique



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Organization



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%







An 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman.


She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly.


Brought before the court, on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her own defense.
‘Your Honor,’ she began coolly, ‘I figured that at 92, if he could have sex, he could fly.’Related

A boy was teaching maths to a girl. He kissed her & then kissed her again & said, this is addition. Then the girl kissed him & said, this is subtraction. Then they kissed each other & said, this is multiplication. Suddenly the girl’s dad came & beat the boy & threw him away & said this is called DIVISION.Related

Teacher: Behind every successful man there is a woman. What do we learn from this?
Akpos: We should stop wasting time in studies and find that Woman.
================


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-31 13:52:05

449 Views




1935 me gandhi ji ne Mumbai me kaha tha
‘dusro ko khush karna hi sabse badi seva hai’
‘bus fir kya tha’
2 mahine baad vahan,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

GRANT ROAD khul gaya.????Related

Happiness [Read it]


Yes, money cannot buy happiness, but it is much more comfortable to cry in a new BMW than on a bike.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-26 12:54:37

374 Views




FIRST BAD DAY CONTINUES…
Akande’s House.
05:44pm

Ledan narrates
Why is my son always in danger whenever your daughter comes close to him huh?”, I asked my ex best friend Akande, “this is not the first time, a year ago, your daughter tried to kill my son, now she’s connived with Human Part Merchants to Kidnap him”, I quickly added without waiting for Akande to talk.

“Hey! Enough!, I’ll tolerate insults against me but not against my daughter, I thought the case I’ve been close, if you dare link my daughter with those cases again, I’ll have to sue you for defamation of character”, Akande countered throwing me aback because he was the gentle type who stays calm in most situations.

“Are you trying to threaten me?, because I don’t succumb to such empty treats”, I tried to sound brave.

“Its not a threat!, its a promise!, mind how you address my daughter please”, he replied with his eyes burning with anger.

“That’s enough Sirs please, we’re all matured here, this isn’t the time to engage in baseless rigmarole”, the inspector who was with us beseeched us.

Though we have been warned not to involve the cops, we had no choice since we didn’t know what the men of the underworld were up to. Having experienced cases like this in the past.

Akande and I knew the kidnappers or ritualists were most times afraid of police men, that’s why they do sound serious warnings.

The ringing of Akande’s phone jolted me from my reverie. The of room became instantly silent as Akande picked the call before dropping it almost immediately, the giving a long hiss.

“Who was that?”, we all asked simultaneously.

“It was MTN calling me to register for caller tone service”, Akande replied us in a seemingly angry voice. I understood his plight.

Another call came in, this time on my phone. I picked up the call only to hear a lady singing, before she said “welcome to Etisalat..”, I slammed the phone on the floor with anger as it dismantled into pieces. How wish I could burn up any of their Ill fated office tight now.

“Take is easy Ledan my friend”, Akande said as I looked at him with a “and how does that concern you look”. Just then another call entered. I swear if it was one of this network again, I’ll take their case their case to Aso Rock, I cursed inwardly.

“Hello!”, i whispered as I picked up the call.

“Didn’t I warn you not to involve the police but you took us for granted”, he said angrily.

“What are you talking about?”, I tried to sound brave as my shaky voice betrayed me.

“Don’t play games with me man, why is inspector Lanre currently with you, along with some other police officers?”, he revealed, “to show you how serious we her, I’ll send you a parcel containing the fingers of your kids, and you’re to provide the money for their release in the next ten hours”, he declared then hanged up giving me no chance to reply.

The police men were looking shocked, Medinat and my wife were waking profusely, Akande was looking confused, even myself was disoriented by the call. I wondered where we could get ten million in ten hours.. And even if we had the money, who know maybe they would send me my son’s severe heard. “God forbid”, I blurted out as everyone looked at me.
I kept thinking and thinking as my mind suddenly bounced on a thought. Yea, I think have found a possible Eureka to my problem.

—————————————————————-
Ele narrates
Ritualist Den of Congo
7:22pm, March 27


“…..and that was how we ended up here”, Queency finished narrating everything that had happened since when I saw Bode in her house up till now. I had earlier narrated my own ordeal and we concluded someone set us up then. The only person the situation could benefit was Dija but we couldn’t put Dija in the suspect category since she was helpful. We decided to let bygone be bygone. I had secretly wish I had Queency all to me again but not in this kind of situation in a certain Congo faraway from our father’s house where there are many room of mansions, I thought.

“So, what about US?”, I asked Queency with a sense of guilt.

“Us? there’s no US!, things don’t happen that way, Ele, I heart you, I so much heart you Ele Boje, baby, forever is temporary, but..”, she suddenly stopped.

“But what?”, i curiously asked.

“If you ever want me back Ele Boje, you will have to decipher my Heart Code”, Queency explained.

“There you go again with the mysterious heart code, don’t worry I’ll no only decipher it but I’ll put my own password there so no guy can break the code”, I said sarcastically as we both laughed to everyone’s amusement forgetting the situation we are.

“You guys would make a perfect couple when you get to heaven”, the guard who had been watching over us since we came spoke for the first time to our surprise.
We were speechless, we didn’t know how to reply a ritual killer who was suppose to be our number one foe in the world right now. But in the three months I started studying sociology, we have been taught the many negative aspects of prejudice and discrimination. So I decided to use my sociological imagination to engage the guard in a conversation.

“Sir guard, I know people do not just wake up one day and decide to engage in killing their fellow humans for money, one or two situations might have led each and every worker in Congo to engage in this trade, I would love to know how you got here”, I explained feeling afraid that I might have kissed the snake’s venom.

“How are you so sure we aren’t do this because we liked the job?”, he surprisingly answered in a calm voice calming my nerves.

“I believe even the most intelligent people social behaviour are shaped by the happenings of our environment, experience shapes our perception of life, an Hausa man by origin born in Yoruba land and raised by Yoruba parents would speak Yoruba, not Hausa I believed something must have led you hear unwillingly”, I explained intelligently surprising everyone including myself and my Queency.

“I’m amazed by your in depth knowledge about life despite your young age, many kids your age only know about staffing styles and latest celebrity gist, you’re truly a rare pearl, you’re the first person to ask about my story, so I’ll tell you my story”, Sir Guard said.



Sir Guard narrates…

“I had just finished my masters degree in Industrial Chemistry in the University of Lagos where i had an “A” something, something rarely done. Coupled with my result as a first class graduate, in fact the beat graduating student of my set, I thought the sky was my limit. Little did I know Nigeria’s labour market had something different in stock for me.

Three months after I finished my masters, I was turned down by avalanche of companies where I put in application letters, I couldn’t believe myself. I gave up on working in a government establishment. So I decided to look for menial jobs to manage myself for the time being because my patient father was still supporting me with finances.

I got a job to work as an houseboy for a lawyer in Lekki, I would call it houseman though. But unfortunately for me, the night of my first day at the job, robbers came Into the house and carted away valuables, while raping the lawyer’s wife and two daughters. I was accused of bringing in thieves and was thrown into a prison as a result.

I was released from prison after two months looking emancipated. Dad had worked out my freedom. I had to do something to make me stop being a burden to him. Once again, my certificate could not get me a descent job. I finally for a job as a laundry man for a wealthy politician. I was to be paid 40000 naira per month for washing his clothes, including accommodating me and providing me food. The politician was very nice but always gave me one stern warning. Nothing must touch is clothes because each of the clothes worth hundred of thousands and his three years salary could not pay for one of his clothes.

I yielded to the politician’s instructions for close to six months until one day, one of the cloths I hanged fell on the ground and got stained. I tried all possible detergents but no one could remove the stains, I knew I was in trouble.

When chief returned, I tried all I could do to explain to chief that the cloth fell down itself and it wasn’t fault but he paid deaf hears. He threw me into prison and i was released after two months. After I came out of prison, I vowed not to do those kinds of job again.

After searching for job for two weeks after my release from prison with no success, I met my wife Annabella who fell in love with me at first sight. We became close friends and didn’t wait long to develop a rapport. To cut the long story short, we for married eight months after meeting me despite her mother’s opposition because of my joblessness. Her father was late, so her mother was the one taking care of her. Her mother was a middle class business woman.

I got married without having a job. Anabella mother sponsored everything about the wedding including paying the bride price, to my greatest shame. After getting married for five months, Annabella became seriously ill. Her mother spent all her fortunes on her but it wasn’t enough. Her mum had lost so much money while sponsoring our wedding, so she didn’t have enough for her only daughter’s treatment.

She got depressed one day that she had to say to me “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?, CANT YOU FIND A PANACEA TO YOUR IMPOTENT DESTINY?, SINCE YOU CAME TO MY DAUGHTER’S LIFE, IT’S BEEN ONE MISFORTUNE OR THE OTHER, GO AND MEET YOUR MATES AND LEARN HOW TO MAKE MONEY INSTEAD OF SITTING DOWN HERE AND FEEDING ON YOUR MOTHER’S IN-LAW B----T MILK”, hurting me with every single word she said.

I cried myself to sleep that night. To make matters worst, my dad was arrested for not returning the money he borrowed. I found out he borrowed 400,000 naira to secure my release and he has only succeeded in paying back 73,000 naira. I was surprised my dad kept it from me all this while. I was so disoriented by my situation. I decided to borrow money from some of my rich friends who were my mates in school, but most gave different reasons why they couldn’t give me, others that give didn’t give much. At the end of the day I had gathered just 7,350 naira. I was so depressed, despite all my extraordinary results,I was not making it while the kids of the high and mighty who many of whom did not possess up to half of my qualifications are enjoying the benefits of their wealthy family.

I had one last hope, that was Dames, my secondary school mate. He was stinkingly rich but the source of his wealth has always been questioned. But I couldn’t help it, because my family members who truly were in danger of going extinct.

Visiting Dames was the beginning of the end. He introduce me into the world of Human Part Merchants without priory Informing me but I couldn’t back out because of my desperate need for money and the painful but realistic insults I got from mother in-law. I drank a strong alcohol before I dismantled my first ever human being.

After that experience, I couldn’t sleep well for three months but with time I got used to it and I couldn’t back out because I’ll be dead before I know it. That was how I became stinkingly wealthy as Dames but I have a variety of businesses to cover up my evil deeds.”

So that’s my story. Most of our members here joined this gang out of desperation. There’s a popular saying that “if you don’t taste the apple, you can’t know the taste”. The government and other society elites who took our join from are the same people who patronize us.

Karl Marx is right in this sense. That’s the ritualist reality people do not understand”, Sir Guard concluded.

“Hmmmmm”, we all sighed at the just concluded revelation by Sir Guard

“But Sir Guard, what are the methods used in getting your victims”, I asked curiously.

“We take take through bus especially those who shun recognised motor parks for cheap buses without parks, also hawkers and small children roaming around the streets are easy targets, we just call them to come and get something inside a house, then we slit the victim’s throat expertly, we also offer free rides to people who appear stranded and desperate to leave there, and various other means, and when they get here, we waste no time in slaughtering them for our customers”, Sir Guard explained as we all sighed again while some others were crying profusely.

Suddenly, a man shown at the entrance and signalled to Sir Guard.

“I think my shift is over now, please when you get to heaven tell God to forgive me for I know not what I’m doing”, he said with a serious expression before leaving.

Queency who was also crying by now had hugged me so tight that I felt my bones will break. At least, I would die with Queency by my side but what about our parents. We both were the only child of our parents.

The Psalmist says”even though a thousand surrounds, they would not touch me because my body is the temple of God. Just the Queency whispered something to hear, though i didn’t like the idea bit its better than dying here. We just had to wait for the opportunity.

——————————————————————
Khadijat narrates

“Why did you want me to meet you here urgently?” I asked Ele’s dad who had become my close friend since I started dating my Ele.

“It’s about son’s abduction by ritualist, I don’t think our police are capable of doing the job”, he explained.

“So?”, I inquired.

“I need five of your boys to work with me. I’ve found some other means of getting the abductors before they use my son for suya”, he replied.

“You ain’t serious!, my Ele would never be used for suya”, I said with a a serious face, “so what other means?”, I curiously asked.

“We’re going to infiltrate a Comptroller of Custom’s office”, he said surprising me with his words.

“What for?”, I asked with fear written all over my face.

“We need his computer to track down those miscreants”, he replied.

“When will you need the boys?”, I asked finally succumbing since that was the only possible way to save my Ele.

“Tonight!”, he blurted out.
What, our father has gone mad again, I thought.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




Rate this story
Add Your Own Rating



Interesting



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Educative



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Unique



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Organization



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%






akpors d fool [Read it]


Akpors father saw his friend coming he tell akpors to tell him dat he as travell since yesterday FRIEND:akpors where is ur daddy AKPORS:he don travelled yestaday FRIEND:where did he go to AKPORS:pls wait for me to go and ask him where he travell to under d bed...WHOT IS AKPORS SCORE


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-21 09:32:54

343 Views



Blowing a Kiss [Read it]



Two Friends were walking home and a lady was
blowing a kiss to Kwame from the window of a storey
building.
1ST FRIEND: Oh boy, it's like that woman is blowing a
kiss to me!
2ND FRIEND: Brother, leave her oh, don't mind her.
The woman then signaled to Kwame to come...
1ST FRIEND: Oh boy, the girl is calling me oh.
2ND FRIEND: Bro, don't go oh!
1ST FRIEND: Why are you telling me not to go? Sweet
Woman like that is calling me, and you are
saying I should not go?
2ND FRIEND: Bro, please don't go, don't go!!
The 1st friend ignored him and went over to the
woman, she went to meet him and they both went
upstairs. Suddenly, as they were about to have fun,
they heard the sound of a car's honk.
WOMAN: (on opening the window) Ha! It's my
husband oh!!
1ST FRIEND: Wow!!! I'm finished!
WOMAN: Don't worry, just pretend that you are the
dry cleaner and iron these clothes (pointing at a load
of clothes).
The 1st Friend spent the whole day ironing the
clothes because the husband never left that day
again.
The next day, the 1st friend came over to the 2nd
friend's place.
1ST FRIEND: Oh boy! Do you know that it was clothes
that I ironed throughout yesterday at that woman's
place?
2ND FRIEND: Didn't I tell you not to go? All that
clothes that you ironed, I was the one that washed
them a day before yesterday.
#BOLLY_SMART™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-07-07 14:19:26

274 Views



Your Pride [Read it]


there is a saying dat says virginity is not pride but it is lack of opportunity. but I will say dat virginity is a pride.nd for d Ladies, ur husband will only respect u when he finds out dat u r still a virgin.pls nd pls premarital sex is called fornication not fun.nd d Bible is against it.ladies this warning goes 2 u all be very careful....peace.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




Rate this story
Add Your Own Rating



Interesting



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Educative



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Unique



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Organization



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%






I AM A KILLER [Read it]


I And My Friend (gala Mouth) Were Going To A Rich Dude House Who Snatch My Galfriend.Which We Were On The Road I Asked Him "gala Mouth,are You Sure You Are Going To Kill Him For Real",he Look At Me And Said "What!!! Dont You Remember Who I Am,I AM A KILLER,I Fought With Ojukwu Until He Beg Me.During The Second World War I Killed Many People,be It Man,woman Or Children.I Am A Confirm Killer And Am Going To Kill That Stupid Guy".Whereas The Girl And D Rich Dude Has Seen Us So They Have Prepared 4 Us By Looseing Their Imported ROOTWEILER DOGS.When We Enter The Compound,the Gateman Lock The Gate.I Was Afraid Bt Gala Mouth Was Shoutin That D Guy Shud Kum Out.Suddenly He Saw The Guy Kumin With The Dogs.In A Blink Of An Eye,i Saw Galamouth Rolling And Beggin On The Floor.The Guy Said "bt I Heard You Saying That You Ar A Killer And You Want To Kil Me.Galamouth Replied That "Yes Sir,i Can Kill Chicken,ant And Croakroacs,but Dogs No,I HAVE GREAT RESPECT 4 DOGS"...I Fainted


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-29 22:13:57

1605 Views




Kehte Hain Bina Mehnat Ke Kuch Pa Nahi Sakte…



Na Jane Gum Pane Ke Liya Kaunsi Mehnat Karli Thi Mein Ne…Related

A man was rushed to the hospital by his neighbours, after much attention to him by the doctor, he died because he was almost dead before he was taken to the hospital. One of the two people that took him to the hospital was extremely scared that he never wanted to see the man's corpse with his eyes, for he has not seen a dead body all his life. It was about ten 'o' clock in the morning. The driver told the two people that the only option is to sit the corpse on the car seat, allow it to lean on someone's body to pretend he was sleeping, in order to make their journey to the mortuary less expensive because of checkpoints. The scared person being the only man between the two neighbours, (as the driver was not ready to touch the corpse) was told to carry the dead body on his shoulder to the car seat, let it lean on his body for their journey of two hours.
What do u think will happen to the man?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-05 18:13:29

405 Views



Feed the poor [Read it]


In the church today, priest said "It is time to feed the poor. Men will come out first, followed by women then finally youth. May God bless you all as u feed the poor in Jesus Name!". "Amen!!!" Shouted the congregation. All men in the church came out and drop their offerings. After the women fished their own offering, The priest now said, If you are sitting in this church and u did not join the men or women when they did theirs, that means u must join the youth now ELSE I will personally send you to sunday school where kids stay. The threat made all the youth in the church to support the poor. It seems like all went well, The Angry Akpos who was sitting at the extreme end of church walk to the priest and gave him a hot slap. "Holy Mary" says the priest. "Are you mad or what?" the priest added. Akpos replied, Men u no dey, women u no dey, youth nko u no dey. which one u dey? Will you join the sunday school or should I drag u.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-26 21:59:52

2649 Views




As days turn to weeks, relationship between me and Aisha was waxing stronger, our relationship was definitely now something else, sex is now normal between us. To say Aisha was a sex addict was an understatement, she chew gum me everywhere i go and i had no breathing space for any other lady. Do i even have it in mind in having any lady?
She make sure we see each other virtually every day, hardly a day goes by without we having sex, it got to a stage that Ismaeel asked what i was into that was making me look lean. The thing was that i always find it difficult to reject her advances, my relationship with Aisha made me realized that i was weak emotionally. It opened my mind to the real me against the opposite sex. Hardly will i be with the opposite sex without thinking of something bad, my thought would have gone far and started thinking about sex even though there was no bodily contact but i find solace in Aisha over all time.
Days was going into weeks and our exam was fast approaching, the funniest thing was that anytime Ismaeel decided that he was not coming home, i will definitely invite Aisha over to my place to come and sleep over. It was my birthday like 3 weeks to my exam and Aisha presented me with a NEC3 flip phone including 128MB memory card.
I can never query where she get money from because she came from a wealthy family back in Lagos, her hostel was one of the costly most popular hostel around Tanke Oke-Odo, her room is very tush to the standard.
My relationship definitely disturb my academic commitment, i was becoming a bit absence in MSSN tutorial class and for my class mate and junior ones, i totally stop giving them tutorials all courtesy of Aisha because she always want us to be together.
It was a week to our first semester 300level exam and my timetable shows that i will be having five papers the following week. Two papers on Monday, two on Wednesday and one on Friday. I told Aisha that preparation for our exam will definitely hinder our hanging out as we hang out a lot. She said she understand as our priority should always be our academics as relationship should be second.
It was the Sunday of a day to my first paper and my preparation was top notched, i realized i didn’t get to talk with Aisha on Saturday and have been trying her number since on Saturday and she wasn’t picking, it got to a stage that her number was not even going at all. I stopped reading around 2pm and decided to check up Aisha in her hostel even if for just 30minutes because have missed her a lot.
I got to her house, i knocked on her door with “salam aleikum”, what i heard was a male voice answering me with “wa aleikum salam” i thought it was one of our muslim brothers until i entered inside and saw a guy putting on a track suit trouser and singlet, Aisha was not inside the room.
My first instinct was maybe her brother came on a visit to her house until Aisha came in with a bump short and spaghetti top just like every other babe Ismaeel used to bring to our house. She was not even covering her hair at all
Aisha: salam aleikum brother Abdulrahman
Me: Wa aleikum salam (me, brother abdulrahman, when did that start? Maybe she’s scared of her brother)
Aisha: Please meet my fiancée Ibrahim……Ibrahim, this is brother Abdulrahman i always talk to you about
Ibrahim: Oh…the one that you said always organize tutorials
Aisha: yes…he has been so helpful to me please help me thank him very well
Ibrahim: Thanks for helping my wife brother Abdulrahman, Almighty Allah will be with you too
I was dumb and didn’t know what to say, it was as if i was dreaming or they were acting film until Ibrahim called her to come and join her on the food and started placing food in her mouth. My eyes was red already and filled with tears
Me: Thank you too…i just say i should check on you and ask about your preparation for your papers, bye bye…we will see in school tomorrow
Aisha: bye bye…am so sorry i can see you off, you can see that am not dressing properly to go outside
Me: No problem
I was already outside when i said no problem and i saw her coming to lock the door, i look back and i saw her looking at me from her door, tears started rolling down my cheek as i look at her. Didnt know how i even got home, my eye was seriously red and i busted into tears immediately i stepped into my room and i could feel the anxiety on Ismaee


>>

goals [Read it]



Football vs Sex.
1. Going to your bf/gf without being invited =
OFFSIDE.
2. Dating a girl today and having sex on the same
day = FREE-KICK.
3. Condom = GOALKEEPER
4. Condom breaks = PENALTY
5. Abortion = RED CARD
6. A girl with lots of energy = CAPTAIN
7. Having sex without a condom = OWN GOAL
8. Taking a lot of time without coming = MAN OF
THE MATCH.
9.Banging 3 girls in a day = HAT-TRICK.
10. Having many chicks and banging all = MVP
11. Having sex with your ex = FRIENDLY MATCH
12. 8 years of sex without getting a child =
ARSENAL
13. After 2 rounds, u request for more =EXTRA
TIME.
14. Taking it gently when having sex = FAIR PLAY
15. Biting her n!pples = SUAREZ
16.Two legs on shoulder = THROWIN
17. Asking her 'how do you want it' = Taking
instructions on the sideline.
18. A lady using pills after sex and later still got
pregnant = DEFENSIVE ERROR
19.Girl being pregnant = GoOoOoOallllll
20.Ur guy collect


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-10 16:44:08

460 Views




A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat.


After he finished, he headed to the kitchen to raid the refrigerator.


The wife comes home sooner than expected, and heads to the bathroom, sits down and gets the toilet seat stuck to her rear. She becomes upset and in a panic shouts to her husband to drive her to the doctor.


She puts on a large overcoat to cover the stuck seat, and off they go.


When they get to the doctor’s office, the man lifts his wife’s coat to show their predicament.


The man asked, “Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?”


“Well, yes.” the doctor replied. “But never framed.”Related

Akpos and Ofego were having dinner when suddenly armed robber broke
into their house.  Akpos wanted to run away but he said to himself dat
if he run away, he might be killed so he freezed himself & stood
like an image. The armed robber ordered for money but they did not have
money, so d armed robber looked at d image, then turned to Akpos’ friend
Ofego and said:
Armed Robber: Take a look at such a beautiful image you have in ur
house, but you don’t have any money. Infact i’m going to destroy dis
image.  sets his gun, points at the image(Akpos) and was about to
shoot.*
Akpos: (screamed out!) Please dont shoot, I am d image of God.
Armed Robber: So here you are, I have been praying to you to give me
job but you don’t want to answer my prayer. Today, since i have d
opportunity of seeing you, i will not let u escape. When you get to
hell, explain to them why u did not want to give me a job.
*about to shoot*
Akpos: (screamed out again!) Please, please, I am d image of Akpos. I don’t want to die!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-16 08:05:45

160 Views




Ek Mehboob Laparwah, Ek Mohabbat Bepanah,

Dono Kafi Hain Sukoon Barbaad Karne Ko!Related

Their hearts saddened as he stepped out of
the bush pointing his gun at them, they
recognized him instantly, he was one of
Bison’s men, he made a whistling sound and
two other men came out holding swords,
make una no even try run or else I go shoot
una
leg comot for una body, the man said in a
deadly serious tone, na
una go dey allow make Bison para for us
abi? una own don finish
today, he continued, oya in a straight line the
second man
ordered harshly, they dared not disobey men
with swords and
guns, ironically the lined up according to
their height with Becky in front followed by
Joy then John was behind her after him was
Tomiwa then TJ was the last on the queue
being the tallest, two men stood behind
them while the other one who was holding
the gun lead the way
…………………………………………………
Thousands of miles away, Mr Adeboye was
in his sitting room
sipping his red wine from his glass cup, he
was a little worried
because his only son, John was expected
from Enugu the previous
day, he had read in the morning paper how 9
people were found shot dead in Enugu state,
he had dialled John’s number several
times the previous day and even that
morning, it was time to take action, he could
not just sit there and do nothing, just then
Kemi his wife came to the sitting room
and greeted him, she seemed less
concerned about John’s whereabouts, he
knew she disliked John but he didn’t know it
was up to that extent, he hissed as she
walked away, he stood up, picked his car
keys and set out.
…………………………………………………
John and his friends had walked for about 15
minutes with their abductors, he had
never killed anybody in his life before but he
could swear he was going to kill these men
with the slightest chance he had,
they had threatened their lives enough, he
remembered the fighting skills he had been
taught when he was at the NYSC camp
…………………………………………………
The D.P.O sat in his office in deep thought,
that morning was not a good one for him
because he just got a call from the
commissioner of police who threatened to
sack him if the criminals who killed those 9
people which the TV news and newspaper
broadcasted were not arrested, he had been
receiving reports of kidnapping in the
community and now was the time to act.
…………………………………………………
The man who held the gun suddenly stopped
and said ‘my guys wait ‘I wan piss’ , John
was alert, now was his chance, he looked
back at TJ who understood him, using his
hand to signal to TJ he counted down with
his fingers 5, 4, 3 he was ready to die trying
2,
1
The birds in the forest flew away at the,
sound of the gunshot, the
first one was followed by two quick, ones,
John and his friends
laid motionless on the ground, John looked
up and saw a gun
pointing at his face, he raised his head more
to study the person
who had a gun to his face, no shoes, Dane
gun and the man had
a sack around his neck, John concluded that
he was definitely a
hunter, but at that period u name had been
changed from
hunter to hero as he was their saviour, the
hunter had shot their
abductors within the blink of an eye, they
stood up slowly, John
looked around to check if any of them were
hurt, he didn’t know
whether to hug the hunter or prostrate for
him, he had rescued
them from the hands of death, they all
thanked the hunter for his
help as if he had given them 20 million naira
each, the hunter
replied them and said no worry my
children, he went on to narrate how his one
of his daughters had been kidnapped by
those wicked men, TJ looked back and saw
one of the men struggling to reach for his
gun, with an anger that he had not
shown for a long time, he stamped his foot
into the man’s neck,
killing him instantly, they all stared at TJ in
awe, except John, he had seen TJ portray
that kind of anger
before, the last time he saw such anger was
when TJ was sent out
of the examination hall by one of his
lecturers, that time TJ had reacted by
breaking both side mirrors of the lecturer’s
car, he
knew TJ too well, for someone who joked
most of the time, TJ had
a horrible anger no one would wish to
witness, my children where una dey come
from and where una dey go? the hunter
asked them, Tomiwa then narrated their
ordeal in the hands of the kidnappers and
their underwater adventure to the hunter
who didn’t seem surprised
but just nodded his head slowly and said
okay make una follow
me, the didn’t hesitate much, he had just
saved their lives and
earned a little trust from them, at least he
had just saved their lives, he lead them
through a different
path, they walked for 10 minutes and began
to wonder where he was taking them to, as
if he was reading their minds, he told them
that he was taking them to his house, from
there he would take them to town the
following morning, he introduced himself as
Okeke, he was a hunter as they
would have noticed, they walked for another
10 minutes before arriving at the hunter’s
house, the house was made from mud,
Tomiwa couldn’t have
expected better, as they approached the
house, a young boy ran out and said papa
welcome, he introduced them to his son
Obinna, where is ya mother? he asked the
little boy, she has gone to the farm, the boy
replied, just then a beautiful girl who was
around 17 years old
came out from the backyard, welcome papa
she said softly, the
hunter replied her and introduced them to
his first daughter
Chinelo, John saw TJ focusing on the girl
like a lion focusing on
its prey, TJ looked at John who gave him a
stern look, he knew
John meant hands off, the hunter
ordered his daughter to prepare
food for their guest, he then lead them into
the house and asked
them to sit down, 20 minutes later
Chinelo walked in with their food, it was
Akpu and ogbonna soup with antelope meat,
they started devouring their food immediately
it was dropped in front of them, nothing like
forming, even Joy who
had never eaten any Nigerian staple food
before eat her akpu
like a pro, Tomiwa was the first to finish his
food, they washed
their hands and drank water from a bowl
made from calabash, they thanked the
hunter or his hospitality and then they
relaxed,
they all slept and woke up 3 hours later, by
then the hunter’s wife
had returned, she greeted them and offered
them oranges, after they had eaten the
oranges they went out to join the hunter
who was by the fireside, they began to tell
tales by the fireside as the moon smiled on
them, they later went inside to sleep, the
hunter’s wife offered them 4 wrappers for
them to cover themselves, she apologized
for the shortage as that was all she had,
Tomiwa, TJ and Becky grabbed theirs
quickly and went to sleep, leaving one
wrapper for John and Joy, John told Joy to
use the wrapper as he could cope without a
wrapper, Joy smiled and suggested they
share the wrapper together, she winked at
him and he got the memo, they laid side by
side under the last wrapper and John put his
hand over her and smiled in his sleep, the
girl he loved was in his arms.

WhatsApp ... 08116386265








NAIRAJOKES.COM




Rate this story
Add Your Own Rating



Interesting



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Educative



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Unique



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Organization



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%







"An Edo Man invited his friends for his mother's
burial. After lowering the coffin, the family put yam,
rice, meat etc, into the grave in line with
tradition. An Hausa Man asked why? The Edo man
smiled and said, "According to our tradition, the
dead go on a long journey and need all the food
items they can get". The Hausa man dropped
N100,000 inside and said, "When the food finish,
buy more".
The Yoruba man dropped N50,000 and said, "Add
this incase it's not enough." The Igbo man smiled
and brought out his cheque book and wrote a
cheque of N200,000, dropped it in the coffin and
took the N150,000 notes as change, then said
"Nwanne, withdraw it when you reach dia oooo!!..
It is going to be a dangerous journey we don't
know how many robbers are out there and afterall
we are in a cashless economy. Travel well oooo!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-12 07:46:44

183 Views




So on his first day at school, the first class was English Language. The teacher called on Akpos and asked him:-
Teacher: Akpos, make a Sentence with “Big”
Akpors: The Ram Is Big
Teacher: Make it longer

Akpos: The Ram is big ooooooo Teacher was like , “WHAAAAAT!!!!”. The
Teacher recovered and continued with his questions: - Teacher: Behind
every successful man there is a woman. What do we learn from this?

Akpors: We should stop wasting time in studies and find that WOMAN
Teacher: Get out of my Class, Akpos Akpos bounced out of the class, not
sure what to do. Somehow, he made his way to the library. Once inside,
he spotted a very pretty girl reading quietly. He quickly approached her
and started wooing her right in the library. Oh Akpos! After some
minutes, the girl got angry and shouted, “Will you please leave me alone
so that I can concentrate? Everybody turned and looked at Akpos. So
what did Akpos do? Akpos gazed her intently and replied in a loud voice:
“I will not leave you alone until you accept Jesus as your Lord and
personal Saviour!”


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-28 19:14:34

252 Views




“How was your golf game, dear?” asked Jack`s wife Tracy.

“Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight`s gotten so bad I couldn`t see where the ball went.”

“But you`re seventy-five years old, Jack!” admonished his wife, “Why don`t you take my brother Scott along?”

“But he`s eighty-five and doesn`t even play golf anymore,” protested Jack.

“But he`s got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball,” Tracy pointed out.

The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on.

Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. “Do you see it?” asked Jack.

“Yup,” Scott answered.

“Well, where is it?” yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.

“I forgot.”Related

People born with “Isolated Congenital Anosmia” have absolutely no sense of smell.Related

Boy – I Love u.

Gal : Are you mad .

I m Married. I have a Husband…..

I have a Boy friend in my office and

my ex boyfriend is still my

neighbour….

My boss proposed me yesterday and i

cant say NO to him…. & I have one

Serious Extra Marital Affair…..

Boy (after a longggggggg pause)-

“Dekh na please, kidhar to adjust

karle?? ????Related

Akpors’ elder brother, Rukewe, travelled
to London months ago, leaving behind
Akpors, their aged mom & their pet cat,
kelly.
Last week Rukewe called from London to
know how they’re doing.
RUKEWE: Akpors how are u all doing,
how’s kelly(cat)?
AKPORS: Kelly is dead.
RUKEWE (after a pause): Akpors u
shouldn’t have told me dis bad news
straightly, atleast u shouldn’t
have gone straight to d point. U would
have just said dat d cat fall inside well
but the neighbours are trying to rescue
him. Den when I call again, u will say he
broke his neck but d vet doctor are
trying revive him. Then when i call again,
u will say dey tried their best but dey
couldn’t save him. Thats how dey reveal
bad news in a mature way. Do u hear me?
AKPORS: Yes bros.
RUKEWE: Ok. how is mother too?
AKPORS: Bros. mum fell inside well o, but
neighbours are trying to rescue her.
(Phone cuts)
Rukewe has been admitted in a private
hospital in London after going into coma


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-08 10:14:56

259 Views




Past is experience!

Present is experiments!

Future is expectation!

Use your experience in your experiment to achieve your expectations. Gud Day!Related

Yesterday, I sold my phone and I
used some of the money to buy a
China Phone. Now I'm in a bigger
trouble!
1. When a fine lady walks by, the
phone will show, "WiFi On".
2. The phone has TV, Micro-wave,
Torch, Nail cutter, toothbrush,
firelighter, food flask etc.
3. Text message can be written
with a toothpick.
4. There are some spelling
mistakes e.g Nokla, blackderry, I-
Indecency, samswag, etc.
5. When an aeroplane passes; it
records one missed call.
6. When big truck hoots; it
records charger connected.
7. It gets full after 3 minutes of
charging.
8. When an ugly lady walks by,
the phone will show "Virus
Detected".
9. When a Chinese man passes
by, the phone will show, "One
Bluetooth device found".
Now I want to sell it. Is anybody
ready to buy?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-05 21:47:29

473 Views




Georgina: will you stop playing dull with me
Ayo: please;am not in the mood for your rubbish
Georgina: once i am through;you all will be in
Tunde: was up Ayo
Ayo: can't you see we are in troubles today
Tunde: really?you know i am not involved
Ayo: what is it?
Georgina: do you know that all this years that i(enter Desmond/Alfred) live and we have been friends;i never though that Desmond could pretend he like me
Desmond: i just heard my name. what in this world have i done wrong this time?
Georgina: am glad you all are here. am going to asked you(to Desmond)a small question and i need it like now
Desmond: what is it?go ahead asked;so i can clear myself
Alfred: i think we should excuse them;come guys lets go
Georgina: no;it affect everyone;no one is excluded
Alfred: really
Georgina: yes and has for you(to Alfred)if i found out that it is true and i did asked you but you also denial;i thought if i could trust you again
Desmond: will you stop acting like a devastated woman and tell us what is eating you up
Georgina: Am a devastated woman because you now have a new girl
Desmond: l don't understand
Georgina: why will you understand?tell everyone that you are having an affair with Stephanie
Alfred: Stephanie;an affair
Desmond: and who told you that rubbish
Georgina: rubbish;you and i know that you having an affair with her
Desmond: fine;but did she say i am still having an affair with her?what am i even saying?who told you that?
Georgina: the bottom line is that you did have an affair with her

Desmond: fine;i can explain what went wrong
Georgina: you have nothing to explain
Alfred: baby;please slow down;is not entirely his fault
Georgina: i should slow down?i asked you(to Alfred)this question but you denial it and you know what is going on. you are my friend;if everyone did tell lies to me;i wasn't expecting it from you too
Alfred: i am sorry(he hold her closer) please forgive me;forgive us because we push him into doing it
Georgina: let him explain himself. why do it for him?(she pull herself from him)
Desmond: it was my greed that pushed me into it
Ayo: it was never greed that push you into it. it was our stupidity that made us push you into it
Georgina: does it mean that;what i am saying is truth?
Desmond: yes;i did have an affair with her but it ended up a long time again before we went for the competition
Georgina: really but then you are still friends with her
Desmond: yes
Georgina: and you have the boldness to tell me that you are friends
Desmond: what do you expect from me?
Georgina: then stay away from that woman or else i will make it more than you expect (she walked away)

Desmond: please wait;wait;i am sorry Alfred: man take it else
Desmond: how can i?when i am between the devil and the deep blue sea(ten minutes timeesmond's phone rung)
Alfred: buddy your phone is ringing (he pick the phone)is your mom
Desmond: my mom;why is she calling me all of a sudden;she hardly call me
Tunde: just pick the phone and hear what she had to say
Desmond: hello mom;good evening ma
Rose: what is good about the evening?
Desmond: i don't understand mom
Rose: why would you;when you are so stupid you are such a worthless son;why is it that since you came into my life is been one problem after the other;what kind of bad son are you?you know what i curse the day;you were given birth to,i wish you just die than to have a loser has a son
Desmond: mom;let me explain
Rose: and who said your explanation is needed?you are such a worthless child;no matter how many scholarship you won or wealth you make;you will still be worthless,that is what you are,worthless;hopeless nonentity
Desmond: mom;please calm down
Rose: say those rubbish to those who cares to listen and mark you in your entire life don't you dare call me mother because i am not a mother to an imbecile
Desmond: mom;please i am sorry
Rose: don't call me mom and those words are not meant for me;rubbish(she end the call)
Desmond: mom;mom(he screamed)no oh;i am sorry mom
Alfred: are you alright
Desmond: yes i am fine
Alfred: what did your mom say?
Desmond: she said if you guys are alright then i said....
Alfred: are you sure?but you don't look happy
Desmond: am okay;just want to get some fresh air. excuse me(he walked out and get on his power bike,Alfred try to calm him but drove off)
Ayo: why is Desmond on that?
Alfred: you should know any time he is angry he ride on that
Ayo: poor boy;i just wish he get over it
Alfred: i pray so too because he doesn't deserve this kind of treatment from his mother;his fiancee and to crown it all;we his friends because all this started with us
Tosan: i wish i could take those hurtful words said to him by his mother(enter Tunde)
Tunde: as she left?
Alfred: who?
Tunde: Georgina
Alfred: she has and Desmond is devastated by the words of his mother
Tunde: and who told his mother?
Ayo: why would you asked such a question?when you and i know that Georgina is now aware
Tunde: you right but who told Georgina about it?
Alfred: that is the point;the only one who know about it;is just we. no one else know about it or could it be Stephanie told her
Tunde: it can't not be when both of them are not friends
Alfred: i just hope she heard it from somebody else and not from anyone of our girls
Ayo: i hope so(curtain) (at Stephanie's apartment)

Stephanie: are you alright Desmond?
Desmond: i am alright;i just needed to talk to someone
Stephanie: really?come on in;no one is at home and i am bored
Desmond: thank you(he walked in;sat down and said nothing to her)
Stephanie: are you sure you are alright?
Desmond: i am fine(tears roll down his eyes)i am okay;even if everyone has seems nothing good in me,i am still alright
Stephanie: stop crying i am your friend,i am ready to stand by you and whoever think so,is just saying those words to pull you down

Desmond: you think so?
Stephanie: i know so(she pull her hand on his)come on;there is no problem that is so great that you can't handle. so tell me what is the problem?

Desmond: (tears fall more on his eyes)nineteen years ago;i was born into the Jackson family;during delivering my mom was in labor for four days and at the end she has to deliver by operation. when i was born she has no love for me even though some people might think that been the only male child would make my mom love me but that is always the other way round. she hate me and sometimes hurt me. when she gave birth to my younger sister,she show love to her and even to my elder sister. whatever i do she look for the mistake. at five i break her photo with my dad;she was so mad at me that she pick up a pierce of the bottle and used it on me;i was hospitalise for days,when i came back mom became worse. then my dad's parent decided to take me away then i found little joy because i got to take my grandmother as my mother;she show me love;which i felt was the only thing i needed until i did i stupid thing;i have carnal knowledge with our neighbor's daughter;back in the state they call what i did as child abuse even when i was eleven and she is thirteen. when mom heard about it,she said i was such a bad son,i really was a bad son and she blame my grandmother for everything. so my grandmother became mad and asked me to go with her. when i got to Nigeria,her hatred grow even more stronger. back then in the state i do have two friends;Alfred and Georgina,they were my childhood friends and their parent was my parent's friends. so one day mother came up with a plan that i should be betroth to Georgina;i accepted it even though i am not in love with her because i thought that will make my mom happy and love me;if i accepted her but anytime i wrong her and she heard about it;her hatred just could not hide anymore;even if i try to see that I love her(tears flow more)she is always blinded to it. i even have to end up doing things i don't want to do all for her but she still assume that i am a failure;a loser and a worthless son. for nineteen years i have look for love in my mother's eyes but its not there. no one since to take about me because i am worthless;i am really worthless

Stephanie: you are not,even if others don't care about you;just know that i am always here to show you i care about you and you are my friend and brother and some days those that doesn't care about you;will care for you and for your mom;she will see reason to erase all the pains she must had felt while given birth to you
Desmond: thank you very much(he hugged her)what will i have done without you?
Stephanie: (she pull herself from him)its nothing;you are my friend

Desmond: (he wipe his tears)now you have see me cry like a baby;anyway i am not a baby
Stephanie: you are a baby because it is only baby that cry and i will tell every one that you are my cry baby

Desmond: do you know that i am your dad and you want people to laugh at your dad as a cry baby?
Stephanie: why should i do that?when i have nothing to gain
Desmond: you are such a good girl;that is why i love you
Stephanie: what?




READ MORE.......





NAIRAJOKES.COM




Rate this story
Add Your Own Rating



Interesting



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Educative



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Unique



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Organization



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%







Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest informs her that she cannot enter without it. A few moments later, the lady re-appears wearing her blouse tied to her head. The shocked priest says, “Madam, I cannot allow you to enter this holy place without your wearing a blouse.”

“But Father, I have a divine right,” she informs.

“Yes, I see. And your left one isn`t bad either, but you still must wear a blouse to enter this church!” he insists.Related

Father & son [Read it]


An old farmer wrote 2
his son "Akpos" in prison.
Dis year I wont b able 2 plant
potatoes cos I can't dig the field,
I knw if u wer here u
would help me.
D son wrote back, Dad,
dont even think of diggin d field
cos dat's where I buried d money
I stole.
The Police read d letter & d next
day d
whole field was dug by
police lookin 4 d money but
nothin
was found.
D following day the son wrote
again,
Now plant ur potatoes,
Dad..It's the best I can do frm
here...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-01 19:46:15

596 Views




Santa Banta Se Kaafi Time Baad Milne Aaya.



Santa: “Or Bhai Banta Koi Ladki Phansayi Tune Ya Nahi?”



Banta: “Yaar Ladki To Maine Phansa Hi Li Thi, Par Tum Logo Ne Ye Mohalla Hi Chhod Diya.“Related

Person: Rajinikanth ji, total how many jokes have been made on you?

Rajinikanth: Only 2-3 jokes.

Person: 2-3 jokes?

Rajnikanth: Enna Rascala! Rest all are facts!Related

Be careul what u purchase online.



A person spent 100$ for a [email protected]@s enlarger &

the bastards sent him a magnifying glass.



With instruction “dont use in sunlight.. ???? ????Related

The best curve on a woman’s body is her smile. ????
.
.
.
.
.
Just kidding.. ????Related

A wealthy popular musician was driving on the street one day.
He came across 40years old ugly lady walking on the road.
He then parked his car at her front and with so much surprise he say “Chai!! Lee kwa Ukwu!!, see waist!!! Baby your waist is so spectacular“
The girl with so much excitement say “Wao!! Like seriously?”.
“Yeah baby!  Can you believe  I have been driving round the town looking for a girl like you.”  Says the musician.
She was so dumbfounded and she says “OMG! I can’t believe this.”
The guy came out of his car, grab her on her shoulders, with a low voice he says “Baby, please will you be my………”
The excited girl cut him and shouted “YES!! YES!! YES!! Am yours already.”
The guy says “Really?”
“Yes! You know what? My house is just close by. If you don’t mind, you can follow me so that I will show you the stuff am made of” says the girl.
The guy then say “Thank you, but it’s not actually what I meant”
Immediately her mood change and she asked “What then do you want?”
You see, am actually working on my new video titled “Shake bom bom” and am looking for a big waist like yours to sample in the video. That’s all”
The girl fainted



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-10 21:32:19

31296 Views



Next Page >>
<< Previous Page