Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


One Wrong Turn
Continues
Episode 17

We drove for about 5minutes, and
Ehis pulled over in front of a
fenced compound, we both
alighted.
“this is my hostel” he announced
proudly.
It was a decent environment, with
two story buildings facing each
other. There must be about 25
rooms in all
The compound was well adorned
with flowers, the floor had
interlocking tiles. It had the look
and feel of a really expensive
accomodation.
Ehis motioned me foward, and we
took a flight of stairs up to his
room. It was the fourth room
upstairs.
The room was quite as impressive
as the surrounding. It was
tastefully furnished and nicely
decorated.
The wall curtains and bed sheets
were a match, with different
colours of paints on the wall.
A plastic reading table and chair
laid in a corner of the room, with
books arranged around it.
He had some really expensive
electronic gadgets too. A 32
inches plasma screen television
hung on the wall, with a portable
LG home theater system. A fridge
and some other electronic
appliances i haven’t seen before.
Overall, the setting of the room
provided more than comfort, it
was pure luxury. Just how much
does his parents give him? I
wondered silently.
“Here, have your sit” he said,
pointing towards the bed.
I sat down, feeling a little uneasy.
I wasn’t sure what i was supose to
do or say exactly. A fish out of
water is how i would describe
myself.
“your room is lovely” i managed
to say.
“oh thanks, I’m glad you like it”.
He grabbed his remote control
and turned on his home theater.
The music came on, it was a
westlife album. I nodded slowly to
the beats.
Ehis pulled up close to me on the
bed, and placed a palm on my
cheek.
“Did you mean it when you said
you loved me too?” He asked in a
rather innocent tone.
There was a look of humility and
sincerity on his face, he was like a
little child pleading for ice cream.
“yes” was all i could say.
“then prove it to me Ella”
“How?” I asked, genuinely
puzzled.
While i was still anticipating a
response, he pulled me closed to
himself and moved in for a kiss.
It was a continuation from were
we left off in the car. The whole
sequence was repeating itself.
It became a little different when
he pushed me back gently to the
bed, and climbed over me.
I tried to resist, but a certain
weakness enveloped me. I just
gave in and fell back.
I could feel his hands all over my
body, touching everything that
made a woman.
There was that wetness again, i
started moaning lightly. I loved
the feel of his hands all over me
He my pulled my shirt up, and i
raised my hands, allowing him to
take it off completely.
He unhooked my bra too, and
took it off, as he started to suck
like a hungry child.
I just laid back moaning. A feeling
of guilt lingered around my head,
I knew i shouldn’t be here, but
the pleasure of the moment
blocked my common sense.
I felt uneasy, as he unbuttoned
my trousers, and slid his hand in. I
just couldn’t take it anymore. I
held his hand mid-way.
“No please don’t ” i pleaded.
“Ella, i thought you said you love
me?”
“I do, but i can’t do this, I’m
scared”
“Are you a virgin?” He asked,
looking surprised
“yes, and my mum inspects me
regularly, she did the last time the
catechist caught us in church” i
replied, trying to avoid his gaze.
“what do you mean by inspect?
You mean she checks you down
there?” He asked, pointing
towards ‘it’.
“yes”
He got up from above me with a
resigned look on his face. He
probably knew if i was disvirgined,
my parents will take it out on him.
I drew his sheet, and covered my
Unclad body with it. For the first
time i realised i was Unclad, and
felt really shy.
“you know we can still have fun,
and you will still be a virgin” he
said with some anticipation.
“how?”
“Just trust me” he replied, as he
climbed over me again and took
off the sheets.
This time, he pulled my trousers
down, without any resistance. I
was completely Unclad.
He did everything unimaginable
with his fingers. I was powerless
to refuse. Partly because i enjoyed
it, and partly because i wanted to
prove i loved him.
It was around 10minutes before
the end of our break, it was time
to go.
I dresses up hurriedly, arranged
myself in front of the mirror and
we headed out.
“did you have fun?” Ehis asked as
he started the engines.
“yes” i replied shyly
We drove off and headed back to
my school. Ehis did not pressure
me to have s-x with him.
Unknown to him, it has increased
my love for him.
But on the other hand, he has
introduced me to a habit that
would complicate my life. A life
style that has led me to my
current state.

To Be continued

>>

More Proof [Read it]


A kidnapper kidnapped my neighbour's wife and cuts her finger and sent it to her husband demanding for money. The husband said, ''I want more proof, send me her head now!.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-25 09:08:19

1058 Views




A woman wanted to test her husband.So she decided to write him a letter saying she is tired of him and did not want to live with him anymore, after writing she put the letter on the table in the bedroom and then hid under the bed. The husband came back and read it, he replied on the same paper and then began to sing and dance changing his clothes. He got his phone, dialed someone then said; Hey babe, am juz changing clothes then wil join you, as for the other fool it has finally dawned on her that i was fooling around with her and has left. I was wrong, really wrong to have married her, i wish i had known you earlier. See you soon honey!
The husband walk out of the room and left. In tears and very upset, the woman got up frm under the bed and decided to go and read what the husband wrote on the letter,it said' I could see your feet under the bed,i didnt make any call,i am going to buy bread.Stand up, stop your silly game and prepare me a meal. I LOVE YOU.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-21 10:29:38

766 Views




JOKE PART 73 BY DINDY
It was a Friday evening Dindy went to buy something in a super market. After he had picked what he wanted, he went to the counter to pay for what he bought.
Suddenly from no where the head pastor of his church came and met him there.
Dindy: [shocked] Good evening sir.
Pastor: Good evening my son.
Pastor: What did you come to buy here?.
:.......
Dindy looks up thinking of a lie.
:.......
Dindy: I came to buy juice.
Pastor: Ok, what's that thing you're holding?.
Dindy: [Confused ] m sir, it is m.
:......
Pastor pulls it out of Dindy's hand
:......
Pastor: Jesus Christ!, what is this!?,
Pastor: Condom! Dindy!, what are you doing with condom!?
Dindy: Pastor it's not for me o.
Dindy: It is for my house Dog.....
DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 74.







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-12-20 22:17:38

264 Views




Ibadan girls are becoming very 'hygienic'. They now use fork to eat pop-corn, and spoon to drink viju-milk...

Wonderful Development.... Abeg I hands ^(._.)^


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-03 18:07:29

415 Views




Salim Aur Anarkali Ke Pyar Ka Kissa Bada Mashoor Hai, Ek Bar Dono Apas Mein Bat Kar Rahe Thhe.


Salim: “Jaaneman Tere Kadmo Mein Rakh Dunga Saara Khazana”


Anarkali Ko Sex Ki Iccha Sata Rahi Thhi, Sunke Boli.


Anarkali: “Maa Chudane Gaya Tera Khazana, Andar Daal Aur Chal Shuru Kar Dabaana.“Related

Continues..
Everything happened so fast. Matrix fulfilled his mission and left miranda on the floor who fondled herself and was crying. I wanted to go to her but brenden drew me back again..
Brenden: presley did you enjoy that show?
Presley: just pray I dont make it out here alive
Brendenh you wont of course
Preston: why dont you kill is already?
Brendenh no,,, not now its a gradual process…
Me: brenden leave me alone
Brenden: why should I do that?
Me: you are such an heartless being you should be in your grave not in the land of the living…
Brenden: how dare you! What did you just say??
Me: (I gathered courage this time ready for the worst) you heard me right!
He raised his hand to slap me but instead he dropped it
Brenden: it will be a waste to slap you…
He kissed me infront of preston. After he kissed me he slapped me and I landed on the floor…
Preston: if you are that brave untie me lets make it out,, if I lose she will be yours but if you lose yoz will have to leave us alone.
Brenden: I like how that sound but its too late
Preston: you b-----d (brenden laughed)
I stood up and ran to meet miranda
Me:are you okay?
Miranda: how will I manage to live with this shame?
Me: I am sure presley will understand
Miranda: I feel like dying (crying bitterly)
Me: please stay alive we all want you alive. Do not take this mistake too personal I was once raped you know and I know how exactly it feels and you have presley and us. I assure you everything will be fine.
The door opened and a gunshot was released. Everybody was shocked because some one fell which meant the gun hit someone. We checked our serves and discovered it was brenden.
Me: you came late today and my friend was raped…
Melissa: we came early but the war we experienced outside made us late I sorry we lost melinda and nyssa.
Me: (shaking) lost them asin?
Melissa: they died due to the war we faced outside they were hit by bullets..
Meh my God! What will I tell my father what will I tell their father?
Melissa: mistress I think its high time you let your father know everything. I cant bring myself to tell him so please do taht yourself..
Me: I am dead!
Melissa raised me up while anita loosed preston and presley. Presley helped miranda up and held her on her shoulder telling her he still loves her which made her smile.on getting outside the building what I saw almost got me shouting. There were about forty men. Five were able bodied and the rest were just ordinary guys. I soon walked to where melissa and nyssa were killed. Melissa was shot in her her belly the direction of her naval while nyssa was shot in her chest. Tears rolled down my cheeks when I remembered the childhood memories we shared together. Two sisters dead on the same day. I cant affors to loose anyone else. Now I know Nigeria is not a place to joke with. Melissa and the other girls bought three cars theirs and mine. I, miranda, preston and presley and anita and bernita entered mine while the other girls and the corpse fitted in the two cars and we left. We wnt home to preston’s house but the nobles went to my house instead. We ate quietly and went to our rooms quietly. I called my dad and told him everything including two deceased. He got angry and yelled for the first time at me for lying all these while to him. He angrily hung up. I was scared nothing bad should happen to him.
Preston: I am sure your father wont bear to loose you after loosing your mom. He will come around. Do not get yourself worked up already.
Mecrying) but I have never lied to my father I dont know since I came to Nigeria lying has now become what I feel my father with. Thank God I didnt tell him I was raped.
Preston: its okay. Everything happened because of me. I have been too nice lately but that will change as from tomorrow.
Me: (sniffing) I hope so..
We didnt read for the day’s exams.
The next day early in the morning I sent the bodies to Europe with the private jet I used in coming to Nigeria along with vanessa she knows what to do.
To be continued ..


NAIRAJOKES.COM




Rate this story
Add Your Own Rating



Interesting



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Educative



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Unique



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Organization



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%







who is the most stupid one here







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-02-08 18:21:32

500 Views




A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.Related

Kiss me twice. I’m schizophrenic.Related

A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”

The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear.
Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”

The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-26 15:35:39

365 Views



Amazing Rat [Read it]


AMAZING RATS...
Rats were disturbing a woman in a house every night,so she bought a rat trap and ussually put fish to attract the rats to the trap. The trick was workin and the woman was happy.
One day the woman forgot to buy fish and as it was already late in the night to do dat she thought she was smart. She cut out a picture of a fish from a calender in her daughter's room and fixed it to the trap to attract the rats again.
As she woke up the next mornin,to her amazement,she saw a picture of a dead rat attached to d trap.........
?#? Hahahahaha?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-14 08:35:10

134 Views




Little Johnny is delivering newspapers.

He knocks on a door and says to the lady, “I’m collecting today… that’ll be five dollars.”

She says, “I’m a little short on cash, but I’ll gladly give you some great sex instead.”

Little Johnny agrees, “All right.”

He walks in and the lady undoes his pants and pulls them down. To her surprise, she sees the biggest penis she’s ever seen.

Little Johnny then reaches into his shirt pocket, pulls out a handful of washers, and begins sliding them onto his penis.

The lady says, “You don’t have to do that… I can take all of it.”

“Not for five bucks, you can’t,” replies Little Johnny.Related

A flaccid penis is hard to beat.Related

A professor drove into a petrol station in his sleek state of the art range rover sports.


Professor: guy, abeg, give me full tank.


Fuel Attendant: Sir, I don't speak pidgin, I only speak English


Professor: Ok! good morning, I currently feel a profound desire to replenish the propelling of my motorized automobile. Therefore I cordially request you to transfer from your subterranean reservoir a sufficient quantity of the combustible fluid of the highest octane rating to fill the appropriate receptacle of the said means of perambulation to the brim.


Fuel Attendant: Oga na play I dey play o, how much fuel you wan buy?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-05 12:12:06

207 Views




Aata Hai Kaun Kaun Tere Gham Ko Baantne;

Ghaalib Tu Apni Maut Ki Afwaah Udaa Ke Dekh!Related

This morning as I was trekking to see a friend. I came across one slim guy beating one girl mercilessly.
The girl was screaming “Please ooo!! Somebody help me!!” with a swollen face.
Ha! I thought they were just shooting film but when I inquired, I was told the girl is his girlfriend.
What baffles me most was that people around were just folding their hands watching. No one seems to help the girl.
Before I knew it, the guy picked a bottle to scatter on the girls head.
The girl ran to me and hid at my back.
I couldn’t bear it again. i asked the guy “What’s the matter? Do you want to kill her?”
“Stay away! Stay away! Stay away” the guy shouts.
Like play like play, what I heard on my heard was ‘gbowaiiiiiiiiii’.
Out of anger and confusion, I gave the guy a heavy kick on his testicle.
The guy fell down, rolling and entered into a dirty gutter.
As I notice say water don pass garri, I removed my shoes to take off.
The girl grabbed me on my waist and said “Where do you think you are going? You want my baby to die”
I then shouted at her “Leave me, isn’t that what you want?”
She replied “But I never asked you to help me”

This is the statement i made in the police station.
My people, am i guilty or not guilty?



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-08 18:54:28

32315 Views




Pehle me bohat pareshan rehta tha bohat tanaav me rehta tha har waqt koi na koi tension rehti thi phir mene krk chutiya ka page like kiya phir kya tha pure din ki tension uski post par gaaliya de kar chu-mantar ho jaane lagi

Thanks krk bhopadi k meri pareshaniyo ko door karne k liye aise hi Chutiya rahiyo zandagi bhar lehen k bhodeRelated

Nothing’s more expensive than a woman who is free on the weekend.Related

These are the names of
different salaries... 1. Onion Salary – You grab it,
you open it, and you cry. 2. Storm Salary – You don’t
know when it’s coming or
going. 3. Menstrual Salary – It comes
once a month and lasts only
four days. 4. Magic Salary – You touch it
and it disappears. 5. Amnesia Salary – You can’t
remember what you spent it
on. 6. Time Traveling Salary – You
spend it paying various debts
even before you collect it. Which one have you ever
experienced?
#BOLLYSHOW™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-24 00:10:05

659 Views



Life style [Read it]


Life is like a MOVIE.If u r sad-DRAMA,If u r afraid-SUSPENSE,If u r angry -ACTION, When u Luk at the mirror - HORROR,Now u r smilling - that’s COMEDY


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-11 18:36:23

256 Views




Banta: Did you hear the news? Anil drank so much, his wife left him!

Santa: Bartender! Give me six large, on the rocks!Related

Mrs paula found her daughter weeping in the
middle of the night. ” arent you asleep?” she
asked her. Christy made it known to her that
she was very sad. Mrs paula tried her best to
figure out why but christy wouldnt say a
thing. She knew her mum wouldnt allow her to
go out again if she finds out that her friends
were the cause.
Miss cynthia also called Little ishmeal to talk to
him about his rude behaviour towards christy.
” son, you dont have to be mean to every
rich person because of what your father did.
Not all rich people are like that, that girl for
instance is a good one. Please dont be mean
to her again.” she said to her son. ” alright
mum” ish responded and slept off again. He
actually didnt hear a thing.
There was this big event coming up for
children at the children’s park and every kid
was willing to attend. School will be reopening
soon and it looks asif it was their last fun as
kids. ” mumy please take me to this program
please.” christy pleaded when she saw the
advert on the television. “no, we will be
leaving to the states as soon as your father
comes back” ” but its coming up this saturday
mum, please…” christy pressured, mrs paula
with hesitation agreed.
Ish was at home playing with the animals
around him. His mum came to him and asked
him why he likes playing with animals. “not all
animals mum, i reaaly want a dog to play
with. I want a big, giant dog as my pet. But
since i dont have it, then any animal goes
mum.” ish responded. Miss cynthis told her son
that she wished she could buy him the dog
but she doesnt have the resource to do so.
And much less the money to feed that dog.
Ish was having a talk with his mum when his
friends came around. They greeted miss
cynthia, she escused them after the responds.
” guess what man?” they chorused out. Ish
told them to just let the cat out. ” its kids
party! Coming saturday. There is going to be
lots of fun, games, food and a whole lot” they
all voiced out. ” are you guys advertising or
what?” he asked without interest. Juliet joined
in the discussion and plans were made for the
event.
It was saturday afternoon and almost all the
kids in accra were set and ready for the
occation. There was music at the background
and drinks all over. ” i wish she was around”
juliet said to herself while ish and her other
friends were running about. Christy also told
her mum she was going to play around when
they got there, ” just be careful” she warned
her daughter. “Okay mum.” she responded
whiles running off. Unfortunately ish ran into
christy and they all fell on the ground. He got
hurt on his elbow, he turned and realised it
was no other than, the white rich girl,
christiana.
CHRISTISH CONTINUES

>>

No matter how happily married a woman may be, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not!Related

Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, “I was cleaning in Father`s room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines.”


“What did you do?” the other nuns asked.


“Well, of course I threw them in the trash.”


The second nun said, “Well, I can top that. I was in Father`s room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!”


“Oh my!” gasped the other nuns.


“What did you do?” they asked.


“I poked holes in all of them!” she replied.


The third nun fainted.Related

Life is a gift [Read it]


Life Is A Gift

Today before you think of saying an unkind word–
think of someone who can’t speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food–
think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife–
think of someone who is crying out to God for a companion.

Today before you complain about life–
think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children–
think of someone who desires children but they’re barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn’t clean or sweep–
think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive–
think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job–
think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another–
remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down–
put a smile on your face and thank God you’re alive and still around.

Life is a gift – Live it, Enjoy it, Celebrate it, and Fulfill it.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




Rate this story
Add Your Own Rating



Interesting



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Educative



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Unique



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Organization



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%







Q: What do you call it when a person with multiple personality disorder masturbates?

A: An orgy.Related

thank you [Read it]


Some weeks back, a certain
xenophobic South
African
walked into a restaurant in Pretoria.
As soon as he entered, he noticed a
Nigerian man
sitting in
the corner.
So he walked over to the counter,
removed his
wallet and
shouted, "Waiter! I am buying food for
everyone in
this
restaurant, except that NIGERIAN over
there!"
So the waiter collected the money
from the man
and began
serving free food to everyone in the
restaurant,
except the
Nigerian.
However, instead of becoming upset,
the Nigerian
simply
looked up at the South African and
shouted,
"Thank you!"
That infuriated the man. So once
again, the
South
African
took out his wallet and shouted,
"Waiter! This
time I am
buying bottles of wine and additional
food for
everyone in
this bar, except for that NIGERIAN
sitting in the
corner over
there!"
So the waiter collected the money
from the man
and began
serving free food and wine to
everyone in the bar
except the
Nigerian.
When the waiter finished serving the
food and
drinks, once
again, instead of becoming angry, the
Nigerian
man simply
smiled at the South African and
shouted, "Thank
you!"
That made the South African man
furious.
So he leaned over on the counter and
said to the
waiter,
"Whatis wrong with that Nigerian? I
have bought
food and
drinks for everyone in this bar except
for him, but
instead of
becoming angry, he just sits there
and smiles at
me and
shouts 'Thank you.' Is he mad"
The waiter smiled at the South
African and said,
"No, he is
not mad.
He is the OWNER of this restaurant."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-13 20:21:51

217 Views




There was once a guy named(Begenasu).The was an monsters ancestor,anybody that mention the guy name will hastly die.One day a boy was rolliing a tyre with his and said.Hey look,I was told that there is a name in our town,anybody that mention the name will die.His friend asked"May I know the name",and the boy said"Is begenasu"and d boy die immediately.The second boy run strait to police station to report the case.On getting there,he met first corperal and said someone just died now bcos of this name,the boy wrote and forward it police for reading and the police said"begenasu"the police died.The proceeded to the DPO,and tell about the story.After the explanation,DPO asked the guy to mention d name,and the guy wrote it for him and he said heeeeeee,I can`t pronounce it,cos I don`t wanna die.The guy said"Is begenasu"DPO said"bege what?"the guy said I don`t know.And DPO said"Haaaaaaa begenasu!"after this,DPO.hastly cross the border and the boy run away.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-13 09:19:29

787 Views




At the end of church service, the pastor told all the disable people to come to his house and collect a special gift. Later in the day, they all line up at the pastor`s house and the pastor was giving them gift one by one. The next to receive a gift was Akpos and the pastor saw him and became surprise. The pastor said "Young man you look healthy and physically fit, why are you here?". "My manhood is too small and I don`t last long in bed with a woman" replied Akpos. The pastor started laughing so loud. After a while he turned to his wife and asked "did you hear what this young man just said? "Honey don`t mind him, he is lying, Do you know that his manhood is bigger than your own" said the wife. The pastor fainted


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-19 21:52:03

17528 Views




Dhokha Deti Hai Shareef Chehron Kee Chamak Aksar;

Har Kaanch Ka Tukda Heera Nahi Hota!Related

Worldwide conversation...


KELVIN: I'm HUNGARY.


MUM: Why don't you CZECH the fridge?


KELVIN: Ok, I'm RUSSIAN to the kitchen!


MUM: You'll also find some TURKEY in the fridge.


KELVIN: Yeah, but its all covered in GREECE... Yuck!


MUM: There is NORWAY you can eat that!


KELVIN: I know, I guess I'll just have some CHILE.


MUM: DENMARK your name on the can.


KELVIN: KENYA do it for me?


MUM: Ok, I'm GHANA do it!


KELVIN: Thanks, I'm so tired! IRAN for an hour today!


MUM: It TOKYO long enough.


KELVIN: Yeah, ISRAELly hard sometimes!




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-20 22:09:24

204 Views



funny dude [Read it]


Conversation between teacher nd akpos.?Teacher...? If it takes 10 men to cultivate a plot of land in 3 days how long will it take 20 men to cultivate d same plot of land...Akpos...? replied teacher na wa for u ooo if 10 men don cultivate d land na watin u want mk d 20 men cultivate dem go kukuma park d ground...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-01 10:41:12

487 Views



Facebook pix [Read it]


Am beginning to fed up with Facebook... i think i have to stop using it...because anytime i uploaded pix...nobody will like it...even if they like it maybe 2people but if nah the girls... yepa..u will see 21,31,50,120..are we in girls world? abi nah only them waka com


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-21 11:26:18

574 Views




We have imaginary farms, cities and animals; we cook fake food; we poke people; and we even write on walls.

Isn’t Facebook a mental hospital and we all as its members, its patients?Related

My heart desire [Read it]


Session one episode 2
I dedicated this episode to my Aunt Akpene and my lovely mum LUCIA EBUTOR

Cont....
I've call Rose only to hear from my operator service provider ( *THE MTN NUMBER YOU CALLING IS CURRENTLY SWITCH OFF PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER ²*) I redail again the same thing, after I've finished fetching water I've tried calling her but this time it went through.
Me: Hello
Rose: Yes
Me: It me Anchor
Rose: I know
Me : Hmm(clearing through)
Rose: U were saying something that I don't understand can you bring it to my level of understanding
Me sad face) I was saying let us put everything in one particular plate
Rose: Which means?
Me: All am trying to say is to date you or?
( * service provider : YOU HAVE JUST ONE MINUTE REMAINING*)
I thought this time was the best to make call? I don't die finished
Eiii medonvor make she speak fast before this people do this to me.
[ smile with a laughter ]
Rose: Okay I've heard you but let me think about it
( better for you)
Me: Okay what is that you want think about while what ever you plan to tell 1,000 years the same you will say, so better tell me what you have in for me. ( to you reader what is that girls always think about? destroying ur life with their needs?)
Rose: You i'll (* YOU HAVE NO CALL CREDIT IN YOUR MTN ACCOUNT PLEASE RECHARGE*)
Eiiii this MTN people must be watching me let me check number of minute I've used before
Checking I've just spent 3 minute ooooo this must be a cheat or a situation of loot and share. Before the call ended I've a message box, I quickly check the sender it from MTN GH, I open it thinking it was a bonus message come see
*Dear costumer GH¢ 0.53 has been deducted from your Account for the CTRB services (Caller Tone Ringing Back) Next deductions is on next week.
After reading this I got angry with them craaa so I deactivated the service I didn't activated but pay for it.
I quickly ran to the room and find my friends phone checking his balance he has only Ghc 0.10p for no mercy I quickly dial Rose's number it went and she pick it up,
Me: Hello it me my credit run off but I will recharge and call you
Rose: Please can you do me some?
(You have no call credit in your MTN account please recharge)
I thank god I've finished my talking
*PHONE RINGING*
on my screen appears
Incoming call
*Rose * calling
I quickly pick it up
Me: Hello
Rose: I was asking to recharge my a/c to call you with.
( so you also have credit but refused to call me back, anyway so there is no need for me to buy credit to call you again)
Me : Okay I will
Rose: When will that be?
Me: You when ever I reach there you will get the notification
Rose: Okay I will be waiting for it
Me: Okay but can't you tell me what you have in mind with the
Airtime of yours?
Rose: It not enough am evening going my mum is calling me
( Hmmm na so?)
Me: Okay no problem
After I've finished my call my friend (Peter my room mate) entered the room with speed I quickly run to drop his phone silently,
Peter was searching the room like a CID, ( criminal investigation department) I asked of what he was looking for but he didn't mind me, I went out of the room to take my bath, Peter run out of the room again with speed, I went to pip at what he was doing, to my surprise he was chalking a certain fair lady, after he handle her his phone to dial her digit, it seems the call wasn't going through to his surprise maybe they told him, he has no call credit, from there I come out where I was hiding to let them see me ( in order to let him not to say much about him missing credit in front of the lady gaga)
After his talk the lady vanish.
To me
Peter.: Who used my credit?
( is that credit to talk of? And u I've use it? that is what you (reader) u will ask)
Me : Nooo just now I went to buy credit asked the vendor (referring to the vendor)
Peter. : Can I use some?
Me: So u thought you are the only one facing such problem?
Peter: But u said u have just buy airtime?
Me: And did you ask me if I've used it or not
Peter: Whom did you have to chat with since you are a Roma father
Me: ( I don't blame you) stay calm soon u will get notifications
Peter: Apooooo let me feel your phone
I handle him my phone he check my balance but this time it appears
Your a/c balance is Ghc 0.00
SMS a/c 0.00
Bonus a/c 0.00
Screaming
Peter: chiiiieeeeee!!!!
Me: What is it? I got bonus?
Peter; from where?
Me: So why that noise
Peter: Since when did your credit start running to 0.00? But you are the one who supply us credit to call
Me: (Tsaa kese dzo avu le) old monkey jump a dog catch
Peter: Really?
Me: U 4 tap cul u will see her live in black and white not coloured
Peter: I laugh enter toilet ( ame trorna) People really change at once
Me: Masta make I go bath
Peter: As u can see I have a visitor tonight so please balance some where for now.
Me; good news we are going to enjoy together
Peter: Wene enjoyment dat?
Me: Masta u 4 shorn de G we go have one after one
Peter: U dey crassssss abi
Me: Say I be holy ko? I 4 decode am give you shap shap
Peter: U dey mad? My girl be ur girl? U 4 look sharp and find one, abi Roma father's no dey decode them be holy ko 4 the wood inside, u 4 come pray give me say make she come
Me: That pen drive of urs get virus, so I 4 scan the machine give you first before you spoil am, abi u kno dada?
( Peter shouting behind hey hey never think of that craaaa what did you know about lady, hey hey, I 4 sent am go beach)
Me: What? ( better for you)
I went in for my bath and I slept after loading my front axel( stomach)
To be continue


NAIRAJOKES.COM




Rate this story
Add Your Own Rating



Interesting



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Educative



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Unique



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Organization



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%







An optimist is simply a pessimist with no job experience.Related

Mary: Hello Love!
Sarah: Hello babe, how are you
today?
Mary: I'm fine dear, I've missed
you a lot.
Sarah: And me too Mary: I am calling just to
inform you that I will pay you a
visit this afternoon.
Sarah: Ok my dear; it will be a
great pleasure to have you... I
will be expecting you sweet. AFTER DROPPING THE CALL: Mary: I'm going to visit that
dirty girl again.
Sarah: This witch is coming
here again, she thinks I will buy
her drinks with my money
again, she must be joking.
#BOLLYSHOW™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-10 20:09:28

409 Views



TWO THINGS [Read it]


One faithful day, a teacher came into
the class and decided to ask the
students some questions; TEACHER: Students, I'm holding two
things right now, who can guess what it
is? 1st STUDENT: Ma, it's two red apples! TEACHER: NO, they are two red
tomatoes, but I love the way you think. The teacher picked two objects from her
table and asked another question... TEACHER: Students, I'm holding two
green things in my hands right now,
who can guess what they are? 2ND STUDENT: Ma, they are two green
mangoes. TEACHER: No, they are two green apples,
but I love the way you think. One of the students stood up in an
aggressive way and decided to ask the
teacher a question; OSAS: Ma, I'm holding something long,
hard and fat in my pocket, can you
guess what it is? TEACHER: Osas, you are a very bad boy!
You are incredibly foolish! In fact you
are stupid! You are an idiot! You are not
well brought up at home! Imagine what
you are thinking about!... Osas interrupted his teacher... OSAS: It's a PENCIL ma, but I love the
way you think.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-23 13:28:15

334 Views




Nairajokes fans,see wetin happen me and dis girl.i saw dis gal at onitsha today,opposite one plaza.dis gal is tal,with gud shape,fyn breast and so on.she is fyn dat i can resist her beauty.As a guy i decided 2 toast her.seing one black Toyota venza beside me,i stood beside dis car cover my eye with my speck,and pretend 2 be d owner of d car,at least 2 b part of what i wil use 2 woo her.as she was coming closer 2 d car,i lay on d car just 2 call her attention,now she have reached 2 d car door where i was.as i want 2 open my mouth 2 talk,she put her hand in d handbag.guess what.
She bring out the car key and said.'excuse me'.i was so ashame dat i dont knw how 2 get up,finally i reluctanctly walked out of the car,she entered and drove away


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-27 02:08:52

413 Views



Next Page >>
<< Previous Page