Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


A lady lost her handbag. It was found by Pappu and returned to her.

Looking in her purse, she commented, “Hmmm…. That’s funny. When I lost my bag there was a 1000 Rupee note in it. Now there are ten 100 Rupee notes”.

Pappu: That’s right, Ma’am. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward.Related

temple run [Read it]


Real men don't play Temple Run cos its too childish

They go to the Zoo, slap a lion and start running....

Are u a real man?
Go try it 2moro morning please....


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-23 13:49:14

397 Views



Dear Dollar [Read it]


Dear Dollar,You slut…
Stop rising so much coz after 58 Government will retire you..Sincerely
Indian RupeeRelated

What do you call a group of people where 2 people are thinking of sex and all other are thinking of food and drinks?

.

..



A Wedding!Related

Can't belive this.....
Seven of my Girlfriends are cheating on me
Please i need your advise, what should i do


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-11-19 21:59:43

190 Views




What place is it where you find a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?

The NBA.Related

Folish question [Read it]


i was in the plane ,ready to take off ,just then a man just ask me:sho!, u don collect visa? no, i neva collect visa, i dy help people carry load inside.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-21 13:47:14

239 Views




“When will all these end?!”
(You are welcome to another episode of
this story, king is happy, is the people happy
too? Let’s continue)

Dele woke up the next morning to discover
that his wife was not beside him on their
mat. “Sade! Sade!” He called his wife. Sade
came into the house with a plate full of eba
and another filled with well-prepared efo soup
with meats Sakin gave to Dele.”Am here, I
went to prepare our breakfast” that was Sade
replying her husband. The farmer and his
pregnant wife ate to their satisfaction. They
became so intimate. “Thank you my
love”.Dele said to his wife. Sade with a
sense of pity asked her husband, “when will
all this evil from this king end? Why would
the gods and our ancestral seven warriors
continue to see the people suffer?”. Dele was
shocked because his wife knows about the
seven warriors. “how did she know the seven
warriors? Has she heard of the prophecy?”
Dele thought to himself. “Sade, how did you
know about the seven warriors of OROPO?”.
He asked his wife. ” Ha ah, when I was
young, my father use to call myself and my
other sisters outside to tell us stories, the
seven warriors of OROPO is one of the stories
he told us and its not a secret story to
anyone living in the village” she replied her
husband. “Maybe because my father died
when I was a young boy, is the reason I
don’t know about the story”. Dele said. Dele
still doesn’t want to tell his wife of the
incident that happened in Araromi village, in
other to change the topic, Dele with a smile
on his face asked his wife “what name
should we give our child?”. “With the way am
feeling the child in my belly, I think the child
will be a boy and we will call him
OGUNLANA” she replied her husband. Dele
took a nap after which he went to his farm in
Araromi village to work.
(The heart of a man is full of evil, who can
comprehend him? Who will tame him?) This
is the situation of Oba Adeagbo when he
asked the guards to send the people who
were celebrating the conception of his first
child away. “Send them away, let them
return to their miserable lives”. Said
Adeagbo.
That night, when Dele returned from his
farm. He sat down at the front of his house
facing the star-studded dark night, looking up
to heaven. He was trying to remember what
the spirits told him but he couldn’t. “Is this
not going to be a problem for me and my
family later on?” He thought to himself “Eleda
mi, ma fi mi si le o”, this is what Sade heard
Dele saying when she came out of the house.
“You are back, what’s wrong?!” She asked
her husband, sitting intimately beside him
with her arms all around him. “Am just trying
to beg the gods to make our child live
comfortably more than us ife mi” he lied.
“Don’t worry my husband, I know the gods
will send a deliverer to us”. At this point, Dele
began to remember the prophecy but it was
still not clear. The two went in to sleep.
In Dele’s dream, the spirits came to remind
him of the prophecy.”Dele, truly Adeagbo is
our son but you are going to conquer him”.
One of the spirits said. Dele woke up, it was
day break already. He could now remember
the three prophecies well. So as not to
forget, he went straight to Sakin’s house at
Araromi village to tell him. “The prophecy is
strange and confusing, how will his flesh and
blood kill him,is he going to have a disease
or what?”. said Sakin after which he was
told about the prophecy. “That was all they
told me and till now that’s all I know” replied
Dele. “Have you told your wife?” Sakin asked.
“I don’t want to tell her because of her
condition. Wo, Sakin I have to leave now”.
After Dele said this, he went back to his farm
to work for the day.
Months later, when it was time for the
queen, Adesewa to give birth. Adeagbo
travelled to another village. Adesewa gave
birth to a baby girl but the king was not
around to make the announcement. Days
after which she gave birth, Adeagbo was still
not around in the palace. Adesewa was very
angry and sad. The mystery was that,
Folashade also has birth to a baby boy.
There was dancing and singing around Dele’s
house to the extent that the angry queen
heard their merriment. “Adisa! Akin!” The
queen called two guards. ” Go and check
what is causing that noise”. The guards went
and came back to tell Sewa that they also
gave birth that’s why they are rejoicing.
“How can they give birth to a child, the same
time with mine and they are even making
noise, go and bring me the child and the
parents now” Sewa said angrily. The guards
did as they were instructed. “Take them to
the prison, when my husband comes around,
I will execute them”. (You are trying to
imagine how wicked Sewa is, if they will be
executed how will the prophecy come true?
Will the king ever come back…to be
continued…thank u for your time…bye for
now)

>> Part 4 -

Look right and left for vehicles and bike riders aka okada. 


Look above for planes and down for a bomb. 


Look sideways and backward for kidnappers.


Hold your handbag tightly and watch the person beside you. 


Then walk zig zag to avoid stray bullets.




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-05 11:19:58

97 Views




Akpos applied for an engineering position at AoNomolos refinery. Ekene applied for the
same job and both applicants having the same
qualifications were asked to take a test by the
manager. Upon completion of the test, both men
only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Akpos and said: "Thank you for your
interest, but we've decided to give Ekene the
job."
Akpos asked: "And why are you giving him the
job? We both got nine questions correct. This becux am ugly, and me being a worri boy, I should get the job!" The manager said: "We have made our decision not
on the correct answers, but rather on the one
question that you both missed." Akpos then asked: "And just how would one
incorrect answer be better than the other?" The manager replied: "Akpos, its like this. On
question #4 Ekene put down; "I don't know."
You put down, "Neither do I." #lobatan #Akpos vs Ekene Episode 7 Season 1#AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-06 11:23:46

786 Views




Little keys open big locks;

Simple words reflect great thoughts;

Your smile can cure heart blocks;

So keep on smiling, it rocks.



Happy New Year !!!Related

"TWO CUNNING FRIENDS"rnThey were two friends they are dating for 6months but they don't know what each other use to store their names.rnthey are all wise and fraud nobody gives each other their phones. So one day,her girl friend want to really what her boy-friend used to save her b/c he usually called her my love" She came in a cunning way by telling him to give her phone she want to message her father an important message." the boy agreed" immediately she dial her line it shows "my grand mother" the girl surprised and pretend she sees nothing after some seconds the phone off and she gave him back his phone. After the boy also beg her to give him phone to calculate important thing as his phone is alrealdy off." "she agreed" he dials his num it appears my father the boy surprised and ask her my love did u really love me.? why not replied by the girl!rnthe boy ask him again how man friends did u have? " u're the only one i have replied by the girl!rnThe boy say are u sure u're not lying to me?rnThe girl say noooo! how can i lie to u my love!rnThe boy say ok! what did u really used to save my name?rnShe replied my heart!rnThe boy get angry and show her what she used to save my name as my "my father while i save ur name my love!rnThe girl shouted na lie u store my name "my grand mother" the boy fainted!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-14 16:29:26

504 Views




My eyes quickly scrutinize her figure. She is wearing a mini skirt and a thin harmless blouse which has been made see-through by the rain, and one can see a good portion of her bosoms from her string vest. Before I say anything she greets me, and she says she was coming from somewhere and the rain started when she had walked faraway. She decided to come here because our place is the closest shelter.
“I am feeling cold,” She says, shivering indeed, “I need to meet Lara to get me a dry cloth and I will be leaving immediately the rain stops.”
“Oh, you don’t bother yourself with too much explanation,” I say, “just come in and change. It’s really cold … Although your friend is not at home.”
The look on her face shows that she is disappointed or she would feel uncomfortable with only me around. She shrugs her shoulders hopelessly and follows after me as I climb the staircase.
I directed her to Lara’s bedroom as we get inside.
“Thank you, sir.” she says.
”Just feel at home.” I say to her as I resume my seat.
I switched on the TV, and I changed the station to MTV base. I can see a considerable difference in this wide flat-screen in comparison to the small one I was using before. I have changed all the things in my apartment since I acquired my wealth. I have discarded my old furniture for imported ones. I can see my clear image through the grey imported tiles. I have changed the whole interior walls from cream colour to white and the colour goes with my white couches with curved silver arms; same thing on my glassy center table with silver curvy legs. in short my apartment now looks like a paradise. Although the decoration doesn’t suit my taste like the one I would have in my own mansion.
The young lady, or sexy Debby as Lara would address her, soon joins me in the sitting room. She is now wearing one of Lara’s modest gowns. She is seated in the couch right opposite me. She crosses her legs and focuses her attention on the TV.
Some minutes later, my eyes stray to her direction as I think I heard a sound from somewhere. Then I realize that the girl has diverted her attention away from the music video. She turns her head sharply towards the TV as our eyes are about to meet. Who knows how long she has been staring at me? Maybe I need to leave the sitting room for her. I don’t think I’m a type of man that takes advantage of women. Besides that, my Remilekun will be here any moment from now.
In the midst of my thought, I hear a knock at the door. I hear the gateman’s voice again. But this time he opens the door before I get there. Surprisingly he appears with my darling Angel! I almost scream, but I restrain myself. Instead, I simply give her a hug and she fills my cheeks with warm pecks. I help her place her umbrella at one corner by the doorway.


>>

Definition of an orgasm: Gland Finale.Related

Jeeto: Did you go shopping for my birthday present?

Santa: Yeah, and I found a perfect thing for you.

Jeeto: You’re such a darling. And what exactly is it?

Santa: Nothing!Related

BROKEN SEAL 2
EPISODE 6

BACK TO THE PRESENT SCENARIO
The police van halted just
before Rodelio’s house.
They were urged in by the
gateman.
Rodelio accousted them in the
compound, he was expecting
them anyway.
But he had to pretend and act
as confident as he could.
That is the number one key in
decieving people of the law.
Rodelio: how may i help you,
officers?
They showed him their respect
I.D
police: i’m inspector clement,
we are from the state CID
(criminal investigation
department).
Rodelio: yes?
Clement: you’d like to ask you
some questions.
Rodelio: lets go in please.
**inside**
Rodelio: inspectors don’t tell
me am a suspect here?
Clement: like i said, we’d only
ask you a few questions, your
answer determines whether or
not you are a suspect.
Rodelio: hmmmm
Clement: do you know any Ella
lagdemio?
Rodelio: yes i do, she use to be
my girlfriend.
Clement: you mean you broke
up with her?
Rodelio: yes officer….know
why? She called it quit her self.
Clement: do you still love her?
Rodelio: isn’t that meant to be
a personal thing? Besides i just
said we broke off long ago,
what makes you think i haven’t
moved on?
Clement: okay? Were you
aware of her wedding?
Rodelio: these questions are
getting too much, you said ‘a
few questions’
Clement: Mr. Rodelio, i advice
you answer all the questions
thrown to you ‘coz we have
substantial evidence that can
nail you down!!!!
Rodelio: hahahahaha nail me
down for what i know nothing
about?…..yes i was aware of
her wedding ceremony, i got a
late invite, i was in dubia at
that time so i couldn’t attend,
satisfied?
Clement: dubai? we have prove
that you were in Manila at that
time!!
Rodelio: misinformatio,
misinformation inspectors!!!
I was in dubia, and i have
passport proves, my business
partners are my witnesses.
Clement: lets see the passport
and where are your witnesses?
Rodelio went in and returned
with a fake passport that
looked so real, it was single
handedly faked by a corrupt
passport issuer.
His friend cort was to assume
the position of his businesr
partner.
Rodelio: here are the passport
papers, cort here is my
business partner.
Clement scanned through the
papers before him. He was no
expert in that field, he only
checked the date and other
minute things.
The inspectors were satisfied
with what they saw.
Clement: what were you doing
in dubai?
Rodelio: strictly business! We
had a wine transfer deal.
Clement knew Rodelio had a
wine making company, no
need asking further questions.
Inspector Brayne: thanks for
your corperation, we’d get
back at you when the need
arises, we’d have to leave for
now.
Clement: i advice you don’t
leave the country just yet….
Rodelio: thats fine by me, if
there’s any development i’d
like to know about it.
***********************************
Ella laid on the bed, thinking
about no one but Isaiah.
She missed him so much! She
yerned to see him again.
Just then she thought of
escaping, she wasn’t tied and
the door isn’t locked.
She tiptoed to the door and
opened it slowly, making sure
it doesn’t make creaking
sounds.
The house looked so big and
magnificient, it should be
nothing less of a mansion.
She continued tiptoeing until
she saw the back view of an
armed man.
She reached for the flower
base beside her, breaking it on
his head, he slumped almost
immediately.
She reached for his
submachine gun and made to
leave the house.
She wished she had the
blueprint of the house ‘coz its
rooms were much.
She wandered into another
guard, she dropped her gun
and round her lil arm round his
neck, in a swift turn he gave
her a hard kick, she fell to the
floor but got up immediately.
She reached for her gun, the
man was also pointing his gun
to her chest….

>>

The Nigerian Police, FBI & CIA were having a disagreement on which of the three are good at catching criminals.
They released a rabbit and put it in a thick forest.
The CIA went to the forest & after 3 months of extensive investigation, they concluded that there's no rabbit in that forest.
Then the FBI went to the forest & after 2 weeks searching, they set the forest on fire killing alot of animals, and then came back without the rabbit.
The Nigerian police lastly set out, and the same day they were seen coming back dragging a lion which was heavily beaten. Due to the torture, the lion at last was heard confessing, "Ok, Please Stop Beating Me, I'm Indeed the Rabbit You Were Looking For!"
%
%
%
%
police make an innocent man confess!
hahahahaha........


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-12 20:57:04

863 Views




Madam: English mein kamar ko waist kyun kehtey hain..??

Brilliant Santa: Kaam ki chiz toh uskey upar aur neechey hoti hai…Beech mein kamar toh waste hi hoti hai na.. ????Related

Vina: i have heard let me give you something to eat
Stephanie: if it was Desmond's mom that saw us that day;i would had say that she asked him to stay away from me. it was mom we saw and i know she wont do such a thing
Vina: right but whatever happen know that i love you and mom also love you
Stephanie: i know that already and she can never do anything to hurt me
Rose: funny girl;she is gone
Janet: i wish she doesn't have to go

Blessing: mom;grandmaesmond is drunk
Rose: what?
Mercy: he is so drunk
Janet: son what is going on?
Desmond: nothing;grandma nothing
Janet: what did you mean
Desmond: i said nothing and i meant nothing
Beauty: is it because Stephanie left?
Desmond: i beg you mom;please beg her mom for me;tell her i will not hurt her daughter;tell her that i will not get her pregnant;tell her you will not hurt her. please tell her to stop making me hurt her. please tell her;i will not....tell her anything. please do this one thing for me and i will not asked for anything else (he felt down and slept off)
Rose: my poor son. i am sorry
Blessing: but why is her mother so heartless
Mercy: and she was acting like a good mother
Rose: that bastard hurt my son. she will get it from me
Mercy: mom;where are you going?
Rose: i will be back
Beauty: do you think she is going to Stephanie mother
Mercy: i don't think so;just take care of my brother

Monalisa: hey Rose;what are you doing in my house?(she slapped her) are you crazy?
Monalisa: i still don't understand
Rose: since you are a dull;i will make you understand. why did you asked my son to stay away from your daughter?
Monalisa: is simple;i don't want her getting hurt. what is your business if i don't want my daughter to mingle with your son
Rose: he is my son and i don't want him to get hurt also. i am begging you please;let my son court your daughter
Monalisa: leave;my daughter will never date your son(enter Stephanie/Peace)get out of my house
Rose: you are evil
Peace: what is going on?
Stephanie: ma Rose;why are you calling my mother evil?
Rose: your mom is evil
Stephanie: will you stop it
Rose: your mom want Desmond to stay away from you
Stephanie: that is not true;my mom cant do that
Rose: bit she did;she made my son hurt you
Monalisa: get out of my house
Peace: please ma;just go
Rose: i will
Stephanie: what is wrong with that woman?

Monalisa: her son did something bad and she have the boldness to show her sorrowful fave to me because i continue making her friends
Stephanie: i thought she has change but i didn't know that she is a devil. excuse me
Monalisa: rubbish
Peace: Lisa
Monalisa: what?
Peace: retrace your step before it is too late. i don't want a situation where the love she had for you will turn hatred
Monalisa: that is never going to happen because she will soon travel out
Peace: don't say i didn't warn you before hand

Mercy: motheresmond is drinking again
Rose: i don't know why life is treating me this way
Blessing: what do we do?
Desmond: mom;why are you staring at me?
Blessing: brother please stop hurting yourself
Desmond: i am not;i just want to forget everything;i want her to forgive me for hurting her;i want her to forget those time i hurt her. i am sorry Stephie. please forgive me and come back. i beg you
Rose: i am sorry son;i wont had hurt her
Desmond: mom stop crying;you are making me feel bad that i always hurt those that i love
Blessing: thank God you are here. please talk to Desmond
Jackson: son what is wrong this time?since you came back is been one problem after another
Desmond: are you regretting that i came back?
Rose: that is not true;that is not what he meant
Desmond: don't worry i will leave

Blessing: i don't want my brother to leave
Jackson: don't worry;he will be fine
Mercy: i hope so

Nancy: Peace;told me everything that happen,you are hurting that girl and you are putting that innocent boy into trauma
Monalisa: i don't care
Nancy: when did you became so cruel and cool?
Monalisa: i don't care now you see it;i just want that boy to stay away from my daughter. he is such a good boy at least he kept to it
Stephanie: mom;what did you just say?don't tell me;you made him break up with me?

Nancy: we are not talking about Desmond
Stephanie: don't try to wash my brain. i hate you;you are wicked. i cant believe you can do this to me

Monalisa: Stephanie;my daughter please try to understand me;i am just trying to protect you
Stephanie: no;you did that out of your own selfish will. i hate you and i don't want to see you again
Monalisa: i am sorry my daughter
Stephanie: i am not your daughter (she try t touch her)stay away from me;you aren't really my mother
Monalisa: i am sorry
Nancy: is okay;i know she will come back
Monalisa: i hope she does;i cant bear to loss her
Nancy: she will be fine,pull yourself together


Blessing: younglady;what are you doing here?
Stephanie: i want to see Desmond;i know the truth now
Blessing: what truth?
Stephanie: please take me to him
Blessing: alright

Desmond: Beauty;please get dress someone might see you like this and get the wrong interpretation
Beauty: i just want to make you happy;don't you like me

Desmond: stop;there is only person that can make me happy and that is Stephie. i love her very much. i don't know why but i just love her
Beauty: don't you love me?
Desmond: i love you very much
Stephanie: what?you love her(she cry)i hate you. i thought you love me but i was such a fool
Desmond: please wait;i really do love you
Blessing: Brother;you are disguising and you;you will hear from me. Stephanie wait
Desmond: i told you get dress(he fell back)

Monalisa: my baby;thank God you came back. i am sorry;i promise i will go tell him to take you back and i will not try to make you travel out even if i have spent money on it. i thought i was protecting you,i don't know that i was hurting you i beg you forgive me
Stephanie: is alright;i am sorry;i yelled at you. i am sorry i told you;i hate you(she hug her)when am i travelling
Monalisa: you don't have to go;i will tell him,i accept him
Stephanie: there is no need,he love someone else(she wipe her tears)i am leaving
Monalisa: i am sorry for all the pains i curse you
Stephanie: is okay;i have forgiven you


Vina: do you really want to leave
Stephanie: yes;there is nothing here for me,nothing. everyone is hurting me
Vina: but....
Stephanie: please;don't i have mad up my mind already
Vina?: is okay;when are you leaving?
Stephanie: am leaving by next week
Vina: no problem
Stephanie: what will you give me?
Vina: don't worry;i will get it from you from the supermarket
Stephanie: no problem(she pull her jacket) this house is so hot
Vina: hey where did you get that from?it look pretty with a nice locket
Stephanie: it was given to me by Desmond(she take it off)
Vina: it is lovely;it seems you can open and lock the locket. whoa!Desmond's picture?he must really love you
Stephanie: will you stop it?what kind of stupid love is that?anyways just go and come back on time
Vina: yes ma;wait till i return
Stephanie: no problem but trust me;i will empty your chocolate bag
Vina: i know you and chocolate
Stephanie: go on crazy girl

Desmond: i am getting frustrated;what if she takes it the wrong way?what if she feel i am dating you?what stupid ideal came into that head of yours?
Beauty: i don't know;i just want to make it up for all the pains that i cause you(she cry)
Desmond: will you stop crying(he wipe her tears)is okay
Blessing: shameless girl;i pity you;my brother doesn't love you
Rose: i thought you really love that girl?her mother called and said you should make up with her daughter
Desmond: i don't want her daughter anymore. let her look for the best man in the world for her daughter. excuse me

Mercy: and you what are you still doing there?when you get pregnant take it to your mom because my brother is not going t get married to you
Beauty: i am sorry ma
Blessing: sorry for your stupid self. mother;you are getting too cool for my liken. what is wrong with you?
Mercy: are you crazy?why are you insulting mom?
Blessing: i am not;i am just trying to remind her of her duties
Rose: is okay;i will fixed it
Felix: i am glad that today you decided to go out with me. you are always avoiding me

Stephanie: that is not true,i enjoy going out with you
Felix: really
Stephanie: of cause;thank you very much i have to go
Felix: i really wish i could drop you but i have to go back to mother
Stephanie: is okay;just extend my regard
Felix: bye(he hug her)
Stephanie: bye

Desmond: so you now hug boys in public places?
Stephanie: how is it your business?i am not your girlfriend
Desmond: yes;you are my girlfriend
Stephanie: God!forbid if you have amnesia,i do not and stop bothering me
Desmond: you should be happy that i still love you
Stephanie: i don't need your foolish love. go give it to Beauty;not men i wonder the kind of husband you will make. let me think;a notorious womanizer (he slap her )are you mad
Desmond: yes;i am and i will never take insult from you
Stephanie: fine;leave me alone
Desmond: i am sorry please wait
Stephanie: get lost

Mercy: welcome brother;where is the ice cream?
Desmond: i am sorry;i change my mind ....



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Akpos got 0% marks in an exam and was surprised because all his answers were seemingly correct!
The questions and answers below:
Q.1- In which battle did Usman Dan Fodio Die?
Ans.- In his Last Battle.
Q.2- Where was the Declaration of Independence Signed?
Ans.- At the Bottom of the Page.
Q.3- What is the Main Reason for Divorce?
Ans.- Marriage.
Q.4- What day is the Nigeria Independence?
Ans.- Independence Day
Q.5- When was Nelson Mandela Born?
Ans.- On His Birthday.
Q.6- How will you Distribute 8 Mangoes among 6 People?
Ans.- By Preparing Mango Shake!
Do you feel that he was wrongly penalised?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-09 11:11:03

234 Views




On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related

Friends burial [Read it]


A group of friends attended the burial ceremony of their mate’s mother who passed on. After lowering the coffin the family of the dead put yam rice, meat e.t.c into the grave in line with tradition. When the friends asked why the family of the man explained that according to their traditions, the dead is on a long journey and needs all the food items they can get.” One of the friends then dropped N100,000 inside and said “when the food finish,buy more.” Another friend dropped N50,000 and said “add this in case its not enough.” The third friend Akporssmiled and brought out his cheque book, wrote acheque of N200,000, dropped it in the coffin, took out theN150,000 put in previously as change and said “Mama, I just added N50,000 to make everything N200,000. Please, withdraw it when you reach there oh, it’s going tobe a dangerous journey we don’t know how many robbers are out there and after all we are in a cashless economy now so it’s better to travel with the cheque! Safe journey oh! What do you think of Akpors this time around?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-21 16:34:14

342 Views




A man and his wife were arguing
over sex.
Man: Sex is work!
Wife: Sex is pleasure!
Man: I don’t blame you, you don’t
know what men are passing
through.
Wife: All I know is that sex is
pleasure whether you like it or
not.
With this, the argument lasted for
a long time until they decided to
invite Akpors, theirhouse help to
hear his own version.
Man: “Ehen… Akpors!”
Akpors: “Yes oga!”
Man: “Is sx work or pleasure?”
Akpors: “Ehmmm… Oga, sx na
pleasure because if to say sx na
work, you 4 don call me make I
come do am” Gbam!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-04 23:52:26

264 Views



Big Lie [Read it]


Imagin a friend of my told me that her uncle was on a plane and some girls came with parasuite saying uncle buy gala


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-29 21:17:44

373 Views




Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajnikanth, there is no other way.Related

Deti ho to khada ho jata hai,

Rom-Rom jazbat ka!

Muuh me lena tumhe pasand nahi,

Ek bhi qatra sharab ka!

Phir Kyu bolti ho ke dheere se daalo,

Balon mein phool gulab ka!

Woh Soti rahi mein karta raha,

Intezaar uske jawab ka!

Abhi uske haath mei rakha hi tha ke usne pakad liya,

Guldasta Gulabon ka!

Usne kaha pichhe se nahi aaGe se karo,

Deedar Mere husn-e-shabbab ka!

Usne kaha bada maza aata hai jab andar jata hai,

Kano Mein Ek Ek lafz Tere pyar ka !! :p ????Related

Akpos, Kwame and Monsu works at a
toothbrush company as salesmen. Each
day, Kwame and Monsu sell twenty
toothbrushes each and Akpos
consistently sells two hundred. Kwame and Monsu were jealous, but
they couldn’t figure out his secret. Then,
one day, they run into Akpos at the
mall, where he’s set up a juice tasting
sample table. “This is your secret?” says Kwame “Try some dip,” says Akpos. They both take a little bit of dip. “Ech!”
says Monsu, “This tastes like shit!” Akpos replies, “It is shit. Would you like
to buy a toothbrush?”

#BOLLY_SMART™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-10 12:36:46

438 Views



Naughty2 [Read it]


Wezzy.bm
Naughty
Continuity 2
Then she turned around , covering her pale breast with both hands in "x" form .
Do you wanna see it ? She asked in a low sexy tone . I node ma head like a lost male lizard ,, she slowly start removing her hands, I could feel some changes inside ma jeans ..ma heart beat increased rapidly .. Ma eyes were wild open ... Kele do you wanna see it she asked giggling .. I just can't stop nodding ma head indicating 'yes yes ' she finally let go.. I was like Jesus Christ !! .. She looked so much sexy with her shirt off ... How do I look she asked '' wooow so hot I mean good oh sexy " I replied in confusion ... Sure she said .. I can still feel changes down there .. .. Do you want me to come closer ?? That question bursted ma brain ...' No No no yes yes yes!!!' Am still confuse .. She's fair . same height with me... She had a pointed nose and a brown sexy eyes ,slim fit ..... She was approaching closer thus me .. Slowly slowly she walked like a cat .she bent down and hold ma knees .. Would you like to touch them , they would like to feel your cold-warm palms .... ? She hold ma hands slowly raising it up kele don't be shy ... .. .she move closer thus me .. Wow I felt the softness and warmness of her sexy tits , she lift ma other hand .. Move ma hands in a kinda motion do her what you are doing her , she's jealous . she said . she kissed me surprisedly I felt the wetness and warmness of her pink lips , ma eye automatically closed... Ma first deep kiss ... She hold ma neck craving for more .. Ma hands are still on her tits .. Ma d*** start twitching .. Do you like what I'm doing to you.. ? Yes I replied
She kissed me the second time . she such a good kisser..where did she learn all this , I asked my self.. She look at me straight into ma eyes " do you love me" she asked in a low tone.... Yes I do .. Are you sure,
Do you want more of this.. ? I nodded ma head..
.. Http://Facebook.com/wezzybmtnsb....
Like page ...


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Joke by Nelly [Read it]


JOKE BY NELLY
Do you have any idea why people say bless you! When you sneeze?
.
.
.
.
.
It was around the world war 2, after the war was over, a strong bad disease that didn't have a cure at all was spreading, the symptoms were coughing and sneezing, so when ever someone sneezed that time people around the person would say "bless you or bless your soul; because they knew the person was gonna die.......lol
#NELLY WROTE THIS=>facebook usernane: Nelly Nally.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-08-30 20:58:56

222 Views



SPARE WIFE [Read it]


Daddy, where is my mummy?’ Titi asked her dad for the umpteenth time. ‘She is dead, I’ve told you this before’, her dad replied, exasperated and perplexed. ‘Yes, I know she died. But if death took her, there must be a place where he must have kept her?’ Titi tried to assert her point of view stoically.  Her dad looked at her incredulously. She was only ten years old and she was more handful than his job as a computer security expert. He found it extremely weird to discuss the philosophy of death in the detail that she demands and his resolve was wearing thin as each new dawn rears its head. He wondered how he was going to direct this conversation and it was quite disenchanting to him that his daughter had grasped the concept of death at such a tender age...‘Why are you smiling?’ his daughter interrupted his reverie. He pondered on her question and couldn’t immediately conclude why. ‘Haaa’, the thought invaded him all of a sudden, ‘you referred to death as a ‘he’, why not a ‘she?’. He was aware now that he must have been the one that encouraged his daughter to think the way she does. For God do love the world, she should be playing with dolls and sand, but his daughter doesn’t like cartoons or games she only loved to talk. He watched his daughter switch on her introspective personae.

She mulled over the thought, mumbling and chewing on words that were quite fascinating to observe. He expected her to mull over it for the next few days because one of her interesting attitude is to complete a thought process. He was about to stand up when she smiled at him wildly, and he knew he was in trouble. ‘Death cannot be a ‘she’ because women give birth to life’, she paused trying to gauge her father’s reaction before she let out the rest of her conclusion. ‘Death must be a ‘He’ because like men, it takes what he wants when it wants it like a man can take a woman’s heart and marry her and enforce his name upon her and decide where she lives and surrender her to death without fighting back.’ Her dad’s jaw dropped so much that a train of saliva was almost trailing its way out of the corners of his mouth.

Before he could muster a response to her lopsided logic, Titi stood up from the chair she was seated, took three strides towards her dad who had his tablet on his lap and peered deep into her father’s eyes.‘I’ll probably end up like mum’, she suggested as a matter of fact. Her dad was lost for words. Tears welled up in his eye; he sniffled to hold it back. Titi looked at him pitifully, took away his tab and hugged him whispering in his right ear at the same time, ‘You are such a cry baby! Why did you try to evade my last question by asking me a question?’ she stroked her dad’s head and combed his beards with her tiny hands. ‘I was thinking you and I could launch a rescue mission to save her, that’s all! Considering you are too much of a coward to do what men know how to do best; to find another wife that will take care of us.’

Titi’s dad never felt embarrassed in his daughter’s presence. He understood what she was asking him to do but his wife’s death took immeasurable toll on him. He was an orphan, the only child and his wife’s families were all abroad. They tried in futility to take Titi off his hands so that he could rekindle his life, but that was the most impossible thing to require of him. He composed himself and pecked his daughter on her forehead and she smiled with a hint of shyness for her dad’s show of affection. ‘So who do you have in mind?
Titi’s dad enquired with a twinkle in his eye. He gave his daughter a wink and she blushed magnanimously knowing she couldn’t catch her dad off guard on this topic.

If her dad had come in another life, he would have been a successful actor and this was what she enjoyed the most about him. She was visibly excited now since her dad rarely entertained this topic for conversation. ‘I’ve racked
my head dad, did meta-analysis and trust me, it is the best’. Titi spewed the words out rapidly with a few stumbling across her lips. She was holding her breath and trying to preempt her father’s reaction. ‘Spit it out already’, he encouraged her harshly. ‘Aunty Riri’, she blurted out while she mesh her eyes together anticipating any form of unexpected reaction. ‘What?’ her father sat up, serious and disturbed. ‘Who in the world seeded that thought into your bedazzling mind?’ he stared at her intently intensely clueless on how to really react.

‘Well’, Titi tried to choose her words carefully knowing she had to sell her idea maturely, ‘since aunt Riri is mummy’s twin, identical for that matter, meaning one egg split into two, and she is single, and she has all mum’s specificat…i…o…n’, she trailed off as she saw her father’s brow tighten with disbelief. There was a pregnant silence between them, each peering intently at the other trying to find how to steer the conversation. Titi took the initiative and blurted out the rest of the most brilliant idea she thought she had ever had.
‘I just feel Aunty Riri must be a BOGOF package for you from God. For God so loved the world, she is a perfect spare’. She pouted petulantly exasperated at why her proposition was quite challenging to understand.

What do you think? Possible? Marrying her twin



Likes nd comment


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Stop studying for MBBS, you can save someone’s life by pressing the like button too. Don’t you know?Related

Successful people have two things on their lips,

“smile and silence”.

Smile can solve problems, whiles Silence can
avoid problems.

Sugar and salt may be mixed together but ants
reject the salt and carry away only sugar.

Select the right people in life and make your life
better and sweeter.

If you fail to achieve your dreams,change your
ways not your God.

Remember, trees change their leaves and not their
roots…

Have a pleasant weekend


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Akpos was always stealing
his mother's money any
where she hid it. The mother,
very confused about what to
do, decided to talk to her
husband about it:
WIFE: I don't know where to
hide my money from Akpos.
He has discovered all the
secret places I keep my
money.
HUSBAND: It's very simple. I
know where you can hide the
money from him. He won't
know where it is.
WIFE: (excited) Where?
HUSBAND: In between his
school books!



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-13 08:14:25

397 Views



The Future [Read it]


Imagine What Church Will Be Like In The Year 2030 if care is not taken...
Pastor: Praise The Lord!
Congregation: Hallelujah!
Pastor: Can We Pls Open our iPads to Exodus 20:1.
When U r Done Kindly Switch On Ur Bluetooth To Receive The Sermon...
Pls Have Ur Debits Card Ready As We Collect The Tithes And Offerings....
You Can Connect To Church WiFi Using Password Lord3732
And As For The Renovations And Donations U r Welcome To Contribute Via Cellphone Banking.
The Holy Atmosphere Will Be Electric As IPads Flicker. Meanwhile...ANNOUNCEMENT.
Church Secretary: Dis Week's Meeting Will Be Held On Various WhatsApp Groups So Pls Don't Miss Out ...
Wednesday Bible Teaching Will Be Held Live On Skype @1900GMT...
By D Way You May Follow The Pastor On Twitter For Counselling And don't Forget Our Weekly Prayers On YouTube... God Bless us....
If care is not taken, this is how next generation children will
learn their ABC.
'A' for Apple won't be useful anymore....
A is for ATM
B is for Bluetooth
C is for Chatting
D is for Download
E is for Email
F is for Facebook
G is for Google
H is for Hotmail
I is for instagram
J is for Java
K is for Konga
L is for Laptop
M is for MTN
N is for Network
O is for Opera mini
P is for Picmix
Q is for Quick time
R is for RAM
S is for Skype
T is for Twitter
U is for USB
V is for Vista
W is for WhatsApp
X is for Xender
Y is for Yahoo! and
Z is for Zuma.
Don't laugh alone....hahahahahahaha


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-07-23 15:12:34

411 Views



Funny kids [Read it]


There where 2 little children playing alongside the road so when they where playing 1 saw 2 used condoms laying flat on the ground and they decided 2 take it home in name of ballon but when they reached home and they showed it 2 their mother she became vry upset with them and said "i have warned you children 2 stop picking things along the road" and then she left, but 1 of the children said "why is mum not happy abt our new ballon??" and the other 1 said again "thank God we didn't tell her that we drank the yoghurt inside the ballon....."LOlz


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-02 14:11:53

569 Views




In Rockstar-

‘toote hue dil se hi

Sangeet nikalta hai!!’…

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

In exams- ‘chhute hue chapter se hi Questions nikalta

hai!!’Related


Super Eagle Gud 4 Tu Things:-


Draw
Loss
Loss and Draw
Win



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-23 15:26:24

120 Views




Real men Don't play Temple Run.
They go to the zoo, open a lion's cage, slap
the lion and start running.....????


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-23 04:59:43

285 Views




In the entire state of Ohio in 1895, there were only two cars on the road and the drivers of those two cars crashed into each other.Related

College Mein Ek Professor Bhooto Ke Baare Mein Bachhon Ko Lecture De Raha Tha, Aur Hall Mein Keval Ladke Hi Aaye Hue The.



Lecture Ke Beech Mein Professor Ne Puchha: “Kitne Bachhe Bhoot Mein Yakeen Karte Hai?”



Kareeb 50 Bachho Ke Haath Khade Ho Gaye.



Professor: “Bahut Achhe, Ab Ye Batao Ki Kitne Logo Ne Bhoot Ko Dekha Hai?”



Lagbag 20 Haath Khade Ho Gaye.



Professor: “Bahut Achhe, Achha Ab Ye Baatao Ki Bhoot Ko Kitne Logo Ne Bahut Kareeb Se Dekha Hai?”



Lagbhag 5 Haath Khade Ho Gaye.



Professor: “Shabash, Achha Ab Ye Batao Kitne Logon Ne Bhoot Ko Chooma Hai?”



Keval Ek Ladke Ka Haath Khada Hua Aur Wo Apna Pappu Tha.



Professor: “Maine Aaj Tak Khud Nahi Suna Ki Kisi Ne Aisa Kiya Ho, Aap Idhar Mere Paas Stage Par Aa Jaao”



Pappu Uth Kar Professor Ke Paas Chala Gaya.



Professor: “To Aapka Kahna Hai Ki Aapne Bhoot Ko Chooma Hai, Jara Baat Puri Detail Mein Batao”



Pappu: “Ohh Sorry Sir, Maine Choot Suna Tha“Related
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