Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


MTN, let me tell you people, i'm wiser than all these, no matter how you
rephrase this sms to me, i would never fall victim to your business
gaining tricks.
At first it was ''Text yes to 7070 for a chance to win
N2,000,000''. I moved it to the trash bin.
Then it graduated to "Few
steps away from receiving your N2,000,000 reward". I kept quiet.
Then i
checked my account balance and saw, "You would not receive your
N2,000,000 reward if you dont text "yes to 7070". I kept quiet.
Then i
recharged and saw, "reward your self right now, text yes to 7070 and you
could win N2,000,000".
I still kept quiet. Then i got an sms from MTN
and checked it. What i saw was "Does your number end with 6217? please
send OKAY to 7070! *******6217 has been rewarded with access to MTN's
N2,000,000 draw today! subscribe, 100/day". I still kept quiet.
I was
waiting for my uncle to send me some money when i got an sms. I thought
it was the bank alert but when i opened it, i saw "If your number ends
with 6217, follow the instruction in the next sms". I waited patiently
for the next sms, lo and behold it was "0813***6217 just won N2,000,000
draw tonight. Text Yes to 7070 to claim. 100/sms." I was angry but said
nothing.
Then i got another message again!!... "Are you James? Yello,
you just won MTN's N2,000,000 draw.
Text OKAY to 7070 to claim it,
100/day". (Money wey i don win, i go still text 100/day to claim am,
abi? MTN no dey use their brain again o, because them wan chop awuuf).
Okay, i still kept quiet.
Then just few minutes ago, i got a call and
guess who called? ''7070''!!!... Please, what do you people want to tell
me that you have not already sent through text message? Is it by force
to win N2,000,000?.'' Make una leave me alone



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-14 08:59:20

641 Views




A man goes into a library to ask for a book on suicide.

He met with Akpos the librarian.

Man: Please! Do you have a book on suicide?

Akpos: What do you want to read that kind of book for?

Man: I want to commit suicide.

Akpos stares at him for a while and said; Please leave this place! Who will return the book.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-22 14:31:20

258 Views




Marwadi biwi ke sath naha raha tha.

Biwi ne saabun lagaya

Marwadi ka khada ho gaya??

Biwi gusse se

“Is ko chhota karo? Saabun abhi do hafte aur chalana he”Related

say it [Read it]


Girlfriend: sheliz I don't like what you are doing
Sheliz: what again
Girlfriend: you are cheating on me, I gave you all I have, my heart, my life, my everything but you don't love me
Sheliz: I do now
Girlfriend: are you sure you love me
Sheliz: yes
Girlfriend: if you love me then say it
Sheliz: It

One name for sheliz

Happy Easter to you all


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-04-16 10:43:29

340 Views




Santa: I am all for women’s rights.

Banta: That’s new to me. But still how?

Santa: They actually get a choice between a “School Girl” or a Nurse’s outfit when I’m horny!Related

True Fact [Read it]


Q: What is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean?
A: A chalkboard.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-29 15:21:05

308 Views




GOD is so wise that He never created FRIENDS with price tags.

If He did, it would have been impossible for…

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

you… to afford me!Related

My neighbour's wife just gave birth to
twins yesterday.
He told me he is tired of regular names for
twins
like:
Taiwo & Kehinde,
Peter & Paul,
Victor & Victoria.
So he has been disturbing me for some
suggestions. After racking my brains for
some hours, I was able to come up with
these swaggalicious names for his twins.
So which do u prefer i suggest to him..
~ Tom & Jerry
~ Tithe & Offering
~ Praise & Worship
~ Copy & Paste
~ Find & Replace
~ demand & Supply
~ point & kill
~ Open & Close
~ Facebook & Twitter
~ Input & Output.
**You can also contribute if you have any
better ones.
Lols.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-10 02:24:29

474 Views



Answerd prayer [Read it]


AKPOS prayed so hard and one day God finally talked to Him.
GOD: My Son, what do you really want?
AKPOS: I want a job, a big car and lots of girls to be all around me..
GOD: Is that all?
AKPOS: Yes...
GOD: Your prayer has been answered.
AKPOS: Thank you God.


***Now AKPOS is now A BUS DRIVER in a FEMALE SCHOOL.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-13 08:05:23

288 Views




Santa: I’m in a big trouble!


Banta: Why is that?


Santa: I saw a mouse in my house!


Banta: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.


Santa: I don’t have one.


Banta: Well then, buy one.


Santa: Can’t afford one.


Banta: I can give you mine if you want.


Santa: That sounds good.


Banta: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.


Santa: I don’t have any cheese.


Banta: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.


Santa: I don’t have oil.


Banta: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.


Santa I don’t have bread.


Banta: Then what the hell is that mouse doing at your house???Related

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.

~ Mother TeresaRelated

You are cute,gorgeous,fine and dandy. Really sexy,you make me randy. You've got the face and you've got a body.....Oops sorry wrong number,forget what I said!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-08 20:59:00

221 Views




?? ?? ??? ?? ????? ????? ????? ??
??? — ????
?????–??

???? ??

?? ?? ??? ?? ?? ?? ??? *??????* ??

G??D
?????Related

Akpos was having sex
with his mistress at
her house,when
suddenly thieves
broke in and he went
out of the house
running as fast as he
could to his house.
When he arrived, his wife asked, "why are
you naked?" ..He
replied,"well, i was
attacked by thieves
on my way home, they
took everything from
me". Wife: So why is a
condom on your
penis?... Akpos...well,
as a grown up man, i
couldn't run home
completely naked.
One word for Akpors


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-20 08:13:06

739 Views



the message [Read it]


Akpos was so afraid and shy dat he dont knw how 2 toast one girl dat gave him her number.after sum day,as Akpos in a bus he received a message alert,as he opened it,it reads.'hello,i have nt seen ur cal or message,tel me now if u stil luv me send me message now or forget it.
Akpos was so happy,dat he immediately type d message,just to send,d conductor asked them 2 come down.on coming out of the bus one passenger snatch d phone from him and ran away.
Akpos ran after him and was shouting.'Abeg press send for me...oh


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-27 02:56:13

413 Views




I was tired with the amount of messages I was getting from Acho, telling me he has broken up with Yewande and it was the devil and shii.. I reminded myself that I would have to have a frank discussion with him. Another thought that crossed my mind was Timi. I was stupid to have hugged him, now that’s all I can think of. Toun and I had agreed to go share fliers at bele , which was the most crowded hangout spot in Ago. I didn’t like the idea of visiting Ijebu-igbo so soon after the fracas, Timi and Abayomi would pick us up and drop us at bele while they proceeded to Ijebu-igbo.
I kept convincing myself I wasn’t dressing so nice to impress Timi, this was how I dressed often..but did I use lip-gloss at night?…no…I cleaned it. Toun was lying in my bed, all she wore was a tank top and a mini-skirt. Still she looked hot!..Abayomi was a fool o..in fact I was gonna talk to him.
Toun: I have something to tell you Tee.
Me: what?
Toun: someone told me Abayomi has something to do with Kofo
I didn’t like where the conversation was going
Me: something like what
Toun: that she was his side-chic
Me: where did you hear this ?
Toun: Evelyn, the one studying French.
Me: that girl can say rubbish ehn…don’t just believe people o…
Toun: I just need you to find out if anything is going on…I know you like Abayomi but I am your friend also..
I seriously hated where we were now…
Me: I am the wrongest person babe, I can never rat on Abayomi..
Toun: even for me?
Me: yes
Toun: I always liked your bluntness, but right now I hate you
Me: I know honey, you will like me soon!
Toun: I guess I have to find out myself
Me: lets get ready for bele..
Toun: yes o…amma shake my bumbum
Me: looool…
]The knocker of my door was Abayomi, he didn’t even pay attention to me as I opened the door, and instead he pounced on his girlfriend. I wish I had the opportunity to warn him.
Toun: hold you kiss
Abayomi: what is this? We weren’t late now; Timi had to fuel his car
Toun: whats my business if you are late? Only God knows were those lips have been
Abayomi: babe are you hungry…Tana why didn’t you give her excellency food?
Me: na una sabi, lets go jor..
Timi was waiting in the car when we got there,thankfully Abayomi sat infront with him.
Toun: oga Timi, when you go change this car now?
Timi: me and this car have been through the good and the bad..she is my buddy…
Toun: abi you are waiting for the 200,786 naira..
Everybody laughed…including me..Timi looked at me and winked…i yawned like I was bored all of a sudden. He didn’t seem to mind…then my thoughts switched to one time in this car…..
I had late lectures that ended 6pm, I called my then boyfriend, Timi to come pick me up. He had been looking particularly cool that day, as usual whenever I had late lectures, he brought me food and we would eat in the car together, my favorite was chips and fish, and he sure knew it. That evening, he drove me to a secondary school field close to olopomerin…at that time most students had gone home. He pulled back his car seat, wound up the car windows and pulled me to his laps. He didn’t kiss me on the lips, he went to my neck…pulled my top up and pulled a cup of my bra down. After sucking my nips till I started groaning, he lifed my skirt, shifted my white g-string to the side and stuck his finger in. I started moving up and down his finger…after a while, I brought out his D--k, while my mouth enveloped his cape..my left hand teased his balls..his hands grabbed my butt from beneath the skirt and gave it a sweet squeeze..i gasped, I was shaking..shivering. Then he lifted me by the lap till my nips was same level with his lips..he didn’t lick it for so long before lowering me on his D--k. My moistness and warmth spread to accept his hardness.. I wrapped my hands around his neck….and started riding him like a cow-girl…
Toun: Tana!
Me: what?
Toun: what are you thinking about…mtch www..where should they drop us?
Me: front of Best care hospital…we will walk to bele from there..
It was more likely to see some students at bele than in their lecture hall, while cars of different makes were parked on the road, students holding bottles of liquor and red cups of liquor filled the bar area and the streets. Sharing the fliers at bele was very easy, most of them just collected the fliers and shove it in their pockets, some teased with the usual “fine girls”…” ”mehn..see that yansh”. It didn’t take long before Toun saw a group of guys staying in her area and went to meet them..It didn’t take 5 seconds that Acho appeared at my side..he was on a white tommy top, holding a bottle of calypso..
Acho: babe..how are you?
Me: I am fine Acho dear..how are you?
Acho: I am fine…how is the campaign going?
Me: we thank God
Acho: you havnt been replying my messages o..
Me: sorry..you know I have been busy..
Acho: look I am sorry…
Me: don’t be sorry…I have forgotten about it
Acho: does that mean we can’t start again?
Me: no sweetie, that ship has sailed..
Acho: but I miss you…your smile..your body..when we are making..
Me: stop it Acho…
Acho: but I miss being inside you and..
Me: I will slap you Acho..dont ever talk to me like that again..
Acho: wow wow young lady…watch your mouth or else…
Toun: or else what?
I didn’t even see her arrive, Acho kept quiet
Toun: I am listening, or else what? I will slap you myself if you touch her
Acho: wetin be this one now, abi both of una don jogodo?
Me: bounce Acho..respect yourself and bounce…
Acho: don’t talk to me like that..
Toun stood infront of him and due to her height, she was tall as he was..
Toun: bounce…
And she wasn’t smiling…Acho walked away…
From a distance I saw Uche and someone else give Toun and I thumbs up..like they were watching if Acho was gonna trespass.. I recognized Uche easily..but the other person was dark…and the distance made it harder..his smile though..cool…confident and magnetic..
To be continued

>>

Episode 33

two months passed and i did'nt hear from lmade,i did'nt know if i should be scared but i was, something in my mind keep telling me that all was not well, as for i and Mimi we were moving on fine, i had less things to worry about, my operation was schedule to hold two weeks from my present day, i was happy that i was getting my legs done but just as the good news came bad one came with it.

i was in my room as usual resting on my bed one morning when a call entered my phone, it was an unknown number, i was surprised to see an unknown number on my phone but i picked it anyway, i waited for the unknown person in the other end to speak, for up to one minute there was silence then i heared the vioce crying through my phone, i could feel the pain and fear in the vioce, "mimi" i finally spoke out, the only thing she could say was please help me, she kept repeating it, "mimi where are you, what is going on" then a male voice replied "if you want to see your beloved again,come out of your gate and you will see her, you have just five minutes and don't bother to call the police or anyone because that will be a mistake", then the line went dead, i wouldn't think or do anything, my parent was around, how am i going to go out without them knowing or seeing me, who was that guy, does this mean mimi is kidnapped, those were the thoughts that was running through my mind, but i don't have time to think, i qicklly helped myself on my wheelchair and roll myself out, luckily for me my parents was not in the sittingroom,i went outside and opened my gate, before i could say jack, two men came out from both side of my gate, i could say they have been waiting for me, i was scared to see them and wanted to shout but they signaled me not to try it, both lift me from my wheelchair and draged me into a parking vehicle, well that was all i could remember, i did't know what they used but i know i sleft for a long time.

i woke up and found myself on the floor, i couldn't say where i was but i know it's a room but what time it was that i do't know because everywhere was dark, that was when the thought of Mimi came flashing through my head again, i just pray she is fine, but who will want to kidnap me and Mimi, that moment the door opened and the same guys that came to take me from my house came in, "time to go" one of them said, "go where, please don't kill me" i begged, but both didn't say a word, they just lift me up and took me outside, then i know where i was, it was an uncomplated building and from the look of it, it was located nowhere because forest was all i can see, i was put down immediately we came to an open space and brighter too, with an high temperature i know it was mid day, i was till trying to balance myself when the answer to my question walked in.

i could have thought as much, i wonder why i did't think to that direction, "lmade, what's all this" i asked but i was answer with an hot punch that almost got me blind, "ahhhhhh" i screamed in pain. " that's for talking when you were not asked to" imade said, she walked and sat down on a wooden chair that was opposite me, i would see smiles on her face but i know it was not a good one, " look at you, just look at yourself, how pathetic you are" she said, i could feel the anger in her vioce, just then i know in my heart i might not make it alive out of here but atleast Mimi should be save, "where is mimi" i asked but instead of an answer i got a deadly look from lmade.

"is that all you think about, mimi,mimi, right" " lmade, i am the one that sined againt you, i should be the one that should be punished not her" i said with a broken vioce, " and you will, i will make sure of it" she answered, " bring me sister here" she told one of the boys and he went immediately, few minutes later he came out with mimi and another guy came with them, this one was holding a gun, "Mimi" i shout out when i saw her, " uyi" she also shouted trying to run to me but was stoprd by one of the boys, she has been crying no doubt, "lmade, why are you doing this, what have we done to you" mimi asked crying, " shut up, both of you know what you have done to me, so don't try to pertend that you don't know" she replied angryly, " yes i know what i have done to you and a deserve any punishment from you but she has done no wrong why punish her" i spoke out, "she left me to be with my emery, that's what she did, she is my sister and should always fight abd stand by me" "i was only following my heart" mimi cryed out, lmade angryly rose from the chair, "let that heart rot in hell, you know what i went through because of him, you know the pain, the embarrassing, yet you choose him over me" lmade said with tear, " am sorry, am sorry" mimi apologized, " am tired of accepting apologies" "then what are you going to do kill us" Mimi asked, "no i will kill just him, and for you, you will be rape by these three guys here, then you will understand what it feels to be raped". i and Mimi looked at ourselves and i saw fear in her eyes.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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joke A girl [Read it]



A girl was with her
father when she
saw her boyfriend
coming.
GIRL: Have you come to collect your book
titled "DADDY IS AT
HOME?" by Ngozi
Okafor
BOY: No, I want
your hymn book called "WHERE
SHOULD I WAIT FOR
YOU?"
GIRL: I don't have
that one but maybe
you should take the other one titled
"UNDER THE MANGO
TREE" by
Chimamanda Adichie
BOY: Fine, but don't
forget to bring "I WILL CALL YOU IN 5
MINUTES" while
coming to school.
GIRL:Ok, I will also bring
you a new one too
titled"I WON'T LET YOU DOWN" by
Chinua Achebe.
Then...
DAD: Those books
are too many, will
he read them all? GIRL: Yes dad, he is
very smart &
intelligent
DAD: Okay don't
forget to give him
the one on the table titled "I AM NOT
STUPID, I
UNDERSTOOD
EVERYTHING YOU'VE
BEEN SAYING" by
Shakespeare! And also the one on the
dinning table titled
"IF YOU GET
PREGNANT PREPARE
TO GET MARRIED"
by Wole Soyinka Hahahaha.....
don't leave it there
pass it on because
you never know
who needed just a
smile.
#BOLLY_SMART™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-09 08:14:37

246 Views



FACT [Read it]


PLAY YOUR WOMAN LIKE FOOTBALL AND LET ANOTHER MAN CATCH HER LIKE GO KEEPER, YOU WILL REGRET WATCHING THE HIGHLIGHTS.......... FACT OF THE DAY


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-04 23:28:59

337 Views




Rose: hurry up call the doctor
Mercy: alright mom
Beauty: thank God they are out
Rose: son are you alright?
Desmond: am fine;Stephanie(he press the water off her chest)please wake up;i beg you
Beauty: get hold of yourself;she will be fine
Mercy: the doctor is here
Desmond: welcome
Doctor: don't worry;i will take care of her;just bring her to the room;she will be fine
Desmond: what is going on?
Doctor: she is out of danger?she has been able to vomit the water in her system;she only have a scratch on her head
Desmond: do you think she is suffering from any other injury about from this
Doctor: none that i can tell for now;she is just relaxing just make sure that she eat when she woke up and give her the drugs

Rose: thank you
Doctor: i have to be on my way
Rose: no problem
Doctor: bye

Rose: what happen Beauty?
Beauty: i am sorry ma;i did not mean to hurt her. i just got into an argument with her and i mistakenly pushed her into the water
Desmond: you mistakenly pushed her into the water;do you want to kill her
Beauty: no;i didn't meant to
Desmond::if anything happen to her;i will kill you
Beauty: i am sorry
Desmond: leave;get out(he pushed her)
Rose: is okay;Beauty leave him alone
Beauty: alright ma
Blessing: Desmond calm down
Desmond: i hate it
Mercy: oh brother;you are overly working yourself;you need some rest
Desmond: is okay;lets leave him alone. take care
Desmond: thanks mom;baby please wake up;i promise i would hurt you any more;please. you know i can't bear to see you in this kind of condition. am sorry if i hurt you
Stephanie: Desmond
Desmond: are you alright?(he held her hand)please;talk to me. are you hurt?are you feeling pains?(she smile)why are you smiling?you are getting me scare (she continue smiling)will you stop smiling;here i am worried sick about you and you are smiling
Stephanie: thank you;for saving me,it show that you still care about me
Desmond: i always care about you and i will always care about you. please next time be careful. i will get you your drugs and water
Stephanie: thank you

Rose: Monalisa;what are you doing here?
Monalisa: i just had a bad dream;i felt my daughter is in danger;i am sorry;i try calling to tell you but you didn't pick you
Rose: your daughter;had a little accident;she almost drown but she should be okay by now

Monalisa: what?oh my daughter;can i see her now
Rose: of cause;you can;shall we
Monalisa: yes
Stephanie: thank you for saving me
Desmond: is okay;stop it;if you were in my shoe;you will do same
Stephanie: i still want to thank you
Desmond: fine;i have heard
Stephanie: i love you
Desmond: i love you too
Stephanie::really?you love me. does it mean we are okay now (he open his mouth to say something) don't say anything. i know we cant be dating but i am happy that we can still be friends that i can still say you care about me genuinely. thank you
Desmond: i am sorry;i collected the bracelet from you
Stephanie: is okay;i understand
Desmond: I will like to renew our friendship;close your eyes
Stephanie: what is that?

Desmond: just close your eyes(she close her eyes and he wear her a necklace) you can open your eyes
Stephanie: what is this?it has your picture
Desmond: of cause;anytime;you feel lonely;just take a look at that and anytime you missed me. know that i am right here(he point at the necklace)i just hope you forgive me for hurting you and know that i love from my heart
Stephanie: i hold no grudges against you because you are my friend
Desmond: and i am happy that you still love me.(he hug her) i want to tell you why i break up with you
Monalisa: hey young man;why are you hugging my daughter
Desmond: is nothing
Monalisa::what do you mean is nothing?I just saw you hug my daughter
Stephanie: mother;don't be too hard on him;we are were just talking
Monalisa: what about?
Stephanie: why he break up with me
Monalisa: what is it all about
Desmond: is nothing important;i was just telling her sorry for hurting her
Stephanie: the good thing is that he still love me;that means there is a probability that we can make up
Monalisa: really Desmond(she stare at him)go on tell me
Desmond: no ma;Stephie that is not what i meant
Stephanie: but you said you love me
Desmond: yes;i do but not be in a relationship. am in love with someone else
Stephanie: is it Georgina
Desmond: no
Stephanie: Beauty
Desmond: stop asking;just go home with your mom
Stephanie: Desmond wait
Desmond: just let him be. lets go home.
Stephanie: alright mom;i will just say goodbye to them
Rose: take care;i will really missed you
Stephanie: i will too. please tell the others that i am gone
Rose: i will bye

Vina: thank God you came to visit
Stephanie: i missed you especially now that we are no longer in same house. i am happy that you are married now
Vina: tell me all about your stay in that house?where you able to make up with him
Stephanie: do you know how someone feelings when he is in some kind of situation. when he wish to do something but he kept thinking of what will happen if he does that thing
Vina: i don't understand
Stephanie: do you think so one asked him to stay away from me (she cough)are you alright?should i get you water
Vina: i am fine;what did you say?
Stephanie: Vina;please don't start;i have this feelings that he is been threaten
Vina: you and your feelings
Stephanie: stop it
Vina: and you stop thinking about boys;you are just too young to be involve in a relationship
Stephanie: you are not listening. i am eighteen. am an adult;i am all grown up. stop treating me like a baby


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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A 300 Kg man walks into a doctor`s office. This doctor is known for his unusual but effective methods. The man says, “Doctor you must help me. I have tried everything. I just cannot lose this weight.”

The doctor hesitates for a minute. He finally looks up and says, “The only thing I can do is to sew your mouth shut and teach you to eat from your butt.”

The man agrees. He returns one week later to have the procedure. Six months pass and the patient returns to have the stitches out.

The doctor says, “Now return to me in 1 month for a post-op checkup.”

The patient agrees and loses an astonishing 100 kg. One month later, the patient returns for his post-op checkup. As the patient sits down in the chair, the doctor notices the man is twitching his butt up and down. He lets it go and continues his examination. After one hour of watching this man twitch his butt, the doctor can`t take it anymore.

He finally says, “Mr. Charles. I have concluded that you have a nervous tick in your butt as a result of your operation.”

The man thinks, laughs out loud and says, “Doc, that ain`t no twitch. I`m chewing gum. Wanna see me blow a bubble?”Related

women wahala [Read it]


One day, a woman asked her son to call her husband to ask him what he wanted her to cook for dinner.After the sixth time the boy complained to his mother that a female voice was what he heard everytime he called and the lady would not let him speak to his dad. By the time the man got home that evening, his wife was fuming seriously.She was so angry that she met him at his car and grabbed his shirt right there in the front yard."How dare you cheat on me?" she shouted, attracting the neighbors instantly. "How could you? After all we have been through?"The confused man stared at her - he could not fathom why she was so mad at him. The neighbors tried to calm her down but she refused, and when someone asked for evidence, she recounted the phone call episode and called on Junior to repeat everything the lady on the phone said."The number you are calling is not reachable at the moment. Please try again later," Junior said.





NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-04 15:11:46

503 Views



Marijuana joke [Read it]



The phone rings at Police headquarters. “Hello?” “Hello, is this Police headquarter?” “Yes. What do you want?” “I’m calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood.” “This will be noted.”
Next day, the FBI comes over to Tom’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no marijuana, swear at Tom and leaves.

The phone rings at Tom’s house. “Hey, Tom! Did the Police come?” “Yeah!” &ldquoid they chop your firewood?” “Yeah they did.” “Okay, now it’s your turn to call. I need my garden plowed.”



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-20 12:56:42

194 Views




BLIND BY NATURE EPISODE 6 (STORY BY DINDY)
please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission,thank you for reading this story..............


[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Celestin was on the road,body stained with his own blood, his right hand was bent behind his back,his left hand was beside him,his left leg was broken,and his right leg was right on top of his left broken leg,his face had a cut which ran in-between his two eyelashes downwards to the right side of his face which was facing right,his eyes were shut closed.
Julian:"oh my gosh!",she shouted in fear.
Julian:"what are we going to do now dad?",she asked him.
Julian's dad:"I don't know",he said, still in stock,and his hands on the steering wheel of his car.
Julian's dad:"let me go check on him",he said as he slowly removed his hands from the steering wheel of his car.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian's dad hand came down to his right side and removed his seatbelt,then he gently closed his car door, as he came down his heart raced;like a spinning wheel,his hands became cold,his thoughts took his happy side. He walked gently towards Celestin,as he walked his thoughts took him on a journey.
[JULIAN'S DAD THOUGHTS]=> God please help me,I hope this man is not dead,I hope he is still breathing very well,if this man dies in my hand, I will be in big trouble. Why did I take my eyes of the road in the first place,I shouldn't have argued with Julian. God help me,if not for anything but for the fact that my wife,sons and daughter needs me more than anything,and for the fact that I do goto church every sunday and for the fact that I help the needy. God let him survive,I don't want my hands to be stained with blood of an innocent man. As he walked very close to him,his heart almost fell out, because of the amount of blood he saw which he has never seen in his life before except in movies. He saw blood all over Celestin body,he was so afraid that his hands were shaking; like a man held at gun point. Ah!,but this man might be dead oo,see the blood on his body and face.
........IN HIS HEAD HIS MIND STARTED PLAYING TRICKS ON HIM.......
Julian's dad's mind:" forget about this guy and let us move out from here. Remember that cars pass here from Time to time,and if anyone sees you here,you will be taken to a police station and will be charged for murder, only God knows how long your sentence will be,it might even be for life. And you even broke the law of driving, so death is what they will sentence you to. So leave this man here and run for your dear life, now that you have the opportunity and time to leave here,I beg of you,I know you won't want to be seeing your family from inside jail walls,and I am sure you won't want them to be visiting you in jail. Can't you see how scattered he looks,i am sure the man was already died, see his rough beard,even his hair is very unkempt. He might be a madman. Maybe you hit him so that he could die and leave this world to rest in after life. I think you should turn back and driver off now that you have the time to run away. Beside he is at fault, he shouldn't have bent down on the road,in fact you are not to be blamed if you leave him here,after all he broke a law himself, no normal human begin will hear a car coming and still bend down doing only God knows what.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian's dad turned back and was about to walk back towards his car when.......
Julian:"dad is he still alive",she asked with fear in her voice, and an increase in her heart beat which sounded;like beat used in rapping.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian's dad looked into his car and saw how his daughter Julian held her two hands on the seatbelt which ran through the middle line of her chest to her waist region. He saw that she was in fear.
[DAD THOUGHTS]=> I can't lie to my daughter. What was I even thinking. This man maybe lost or something, and maybe his parent might be looking for him. No way,I won't allow the devil to fool me,I better check on him to know whether he is dead or not,if he is dead,I will pay for my crime,and if he is not, well thank God. But I pray he still breathes.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> He immediately turned and walked up to Celestin. Then the middle finger of Celestin's left hand moved a little. Julian's dad was so happy inside him to know that Celestin was still alive.
[JULIAN'S DAD THOUGHTS]=> thank God that he is still alive. Thank God that i didn't leave him alone. I would have had blood on my hands,i better quickly take him to the nearest hospital. I hope he hangs on until we get to the hospital.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian's dad quickly bent Down to pick him and put him in his car. He used his right hand and placed it under Celestin's head,then he used his left hand and placed it under Celestin's legs, to enable him to carry Celestin very well. He tried to lift Celestin up at first but he didn't carry Celestin properly,Celestin's legs slipped off his left hand and dropped on the ground. Julian's dad dropped Celestin slowly and tried once more to carry him properly. This time he made sure that his left hand was rightly placed under Celestin's legs before he carried him.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> He carried celestin until he got to the back door of his car,he dropped Celestin on the ground to open his car.
Julian:"Dad is that you,is the man still alive?",she asked.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian's dad was not able to answer julian at that moment, because he was too busy trying to place celestin in the backseat.
Julian's dad:"yes dear,its me,the man is still alive,i pray he shouldn't give up the ghost before we get to the hospital",he said as he properly laid celestin in the back seat.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> He quickly closed the backseat and went into the driver's seat. the clothe he wore was stained with blood,but that was never the case on his mind at that time. Julian was speechless and didn't know the bad condition of the man her dad knocked down was...............................................to be continue......story by dindy.........whatsapp number:07087750433.... [email protected]@gmail.com or [email protected] facebook namessy nnamdi


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Akpos has tried all possible means to succeed in life but to no avail. One day he decided to visit a prophet.
The prophet promised to deliver him but he has to pay 20,000 Naira.
Akpos went and borrowed the money from a friend. The next day, Akpos handed over 20,000 naira to the prophet.
After series of speaking in tongues, The prophet then say to him "young man, Your mother in-law is a winch and she is the cause of your problems.
Akpos replied surprisingly "Ha! but am not married."
After another round of speaking in tongues, The prophet said "Error error, you did not remove your shoes outside."
Akpos went outside and removed his shoes.
The prophet wanting to be clever then asked "But do you have a step mother?"
Akpos replied "Yes".
After the third round of speaking in tongues, he said "Yes yes yes! your step mother covered your destiny inside a pot and hid under her bed. So go home and break the pot".
Akpos got angry and removed his shirt.
"Wait wait! What's that for?" Asked the prophet.
Akpos replied angrily "My money else two of us will die here".
Prophet "meaning?"
Akpos "Because my step mother died before my father married my mother"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-15 20:58:41

26370 Views




HOW I GOT SACKED

EPISODE 2
“Hmm, let me quickly go and buy indomie
bellefull two packs” I quickly thought within
myself “oh no, where will I cook it? There is
not stove here talkless of pot to use in
cooking it” I thought again countering the
previous.
After thinking, thinking and thinking. I
decided to settle for rice. I rushed to mama
Risi who sold rice down the street.
Immediately I got there, I called her out
confidently to come and attend to me. I told
her my preferred combination of the food
and their respective amount, at last, it all
summed up to four hundred and thirty naira.
Then I ordered for two sachet of pure water
to make it up to four hundred and fifty
naira. Even tho I had plans to take out of
the juices we sold. I knew there is no way
water would be evicted from my meal.
Everything was packed into a polythene bag
for me. The time came for me to pay and as
I dipped my hand into my pocket, I told her
that she should bring out change for one
thousand naira.
“mi o ni change one thousand o, mo se se
shi shop ni o” she said, meaning she didn’t
have change for one thousand naira, that
she just opened for business of the day. So
I told her that she would get her money
later in the day when I also have change
and she agreed. She knew me from my
shop. She also comes to buy juices from us.
I got back to shop and settled down to
devour the free food I got as a result of
finding free money in my pocket. I took
three bottles of juice from the fridge. Sat
down gallantly in a corner of the shop. First,
I took another look at the food I was about
to devour. I haven’t eaten this much before,
for where! Where I wan see the money? But
you all know that money not worked for
would be spent anyhow and that was what
was manifesting right now. I decided to
count to three before commencing
consumption but before I could count to two
I lost interest and started devouring it
shamelessly. I didn’t obey the law of table
manners. Before swallowing a mouthful, I
had inserted another full spoon into my
mouth. In a jiffy, I was done with the rice,
beans, plantain and spagetti. It was time to
consume the two big meats that crowned it.
“omo, no time to waste time at all o” I said
loudly to myself and before you can say
TICK – TACK; I was done with them, I
gulped down the last of the three bottles of
juice and said “hallelujah” to the heavens for
providing this wonderful opportunity. I felt
my belly filled up to the brim. And you know
that once you are that filled up, you become
lazy, I mean very lazy, even to pack the
plates. I just stretched my legs on the other
plastic and began to wish I could be living
this kind of life everyday. You know what I
mean na.
About an hour 30 minutes later, the sweet
voice of a bread hawker attracted my
attention. Thoughts of topping the just
concluded meal with it crossed my mind and
I wasted no time in calling the bread seller.
She reversed to my shop and I helped her
put down her board. I ordered her to give
me two hundred and fifty naira worth of
bread and then add one hundred naira worth
of butter to the middle. As she was
preparing my order, a friend of mine, Eunice,
was waking by. She saw that I was buying
bread and she quickly crossed over and
begged me to buy for her. Feeling kind of
big, I asked the bread seller to grant her
wish. She ordered for one hundred naira
bread and fifty naira butter then she left.
Eunice was a my school mate, i always
wished I dated her but she always seem
inapproachable because she had a wild character but I always loved her because she was a very caring type and apart from
that, she knows how to control her pay in
order not to affect her education. Believe it,
she was part of the top 3 students in the
class.
“Ah, I no get change o” the bread seller
protested when I told her I was going to
bring out one thousand naira note from my
pockets.
“weytin we go do now? Me sef no get
change o, I never sell anything today.” I
explained to her and she herself said she
would come back to ask for the money
when she returned. I agreed and she left.
As I returned to my sit, I immediately started
devouring the bread. It was as if I hadn’t
eaten anything before. In a twinkle of an
eye, I had demolished the long loaf of bread and drank two more bottles of juice to push it down. I then stretched out my legs and relax so that I can fully digest it. Before I knew it, I was dozing off.
.
To be continued

For more stories; check me at www.dahmie.wordpress.com


Contact on WhatsApp: +2347088259350, +2348182078620









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“You are a shame to womanhood and the institution of marriage, and a shame to motherhood” the voice of the chief judge rang out through the court room.

She was a middle aged woman, probably in her early 60’s but looked fresher. Fair complexioned with an aura of blatant authority.
Her voice portrayed a lot of pride and a sense of responsibility.

Amanda stood face down as the whole court listened to the chief judge let out her scolds before passing her judgement.

The NDA have charged Dr Odili to court for his involvement in illegal dealings of haimdal pills, falsifying medical reports and an accomplice in Amanda’s attempted murder on papa.

Amanda on her own part was charged with basically same charges with Dr odili only difference being she was the first hand suspect of the attempted murder while Dr odili was an accomplice.

I sat across the the courtroom, papa sat at my left flank with a blank misty look in his eyes, he was getting better and robust, with a little difference from his old laugh-filled self.

Wilson and Jessy sat at the other seat behind ours in the row, Ryan was already asleep in Jessy’s arms after hours of boring court activities, little did he know his mother was the bone of contention in this matter.

Amanda’s mother sat beside Jessy, a wet eyes and swollen face. A dim look of self pity and disappointment in her eyes as she watched on at her daughter.

After the DNA test result was found out, it was redone for confirmation and it turned out Ryan was neither my son nor papa’s. She had confessed it belonged to her boy Friend, who she was seeing in school as a student and way after papa married her she was still seeing him.

Her mother have taken Ryan to live with her hence forth, papa promised to see him through school till he completes his university education. “after all, he is still my son” he had muttered to Amanda’s mother who was thanking him for his kindness with tears freely flowing down her face. Somehow his face wore a sad look a father would wear if he lost a son, Ryan was part of the family. Blood or not.

Chioma had been absent from the court room, she had gone back to Abuja to put her things in order.
Her parents had tendered an apology to both of us, with the usual “God said that and this in the bible” reeling out from Mrs Ugwu’s lips. I wondered if it was supposed to be an apology or she was preaching to us.

“After much considerations and scrutinization of evidences presented, this court finds the accused guilty as charged” the chief judge intoned adjusting her perky glasses in a little pause.

A bout of murmur and hisses followed her pause, with the clerk banging his fist hard on the desk shouting “Order in court” i’d thought his washed out ties needs some order too.

“The accused have been sentenced to 20years imprisonment” she finishes up banging her wooden hammer crisply on the desk. And the court clerk following up with a shout of “Court……….!!!” his tie dancing to the wind.

Their was a wild shout from the people in the court room, many smiled and nodded while some wore a rather gloomy look.

Tears rolled down Amanda’s cheeks in quick racing succession, Dr Odili had gotten 25years in his own sentence, the NDA had followed the case to the last making sure justice was served right in a hot platter.

We watched as the policemen dutifully guided Amanda into a police van waiting outside the court, being very professional like a receptionist receiving someone into a hotel.

She looked at me, her handcuffs shimmered in the sun that filtered into the open van, her face seemed a little darker than usual and flesh around the cuffs beaming red and swollen.

Could see her lips moving while her eyes was fixed on me. Her hands clasped together like she was in a fervent prayer, could make out the words “I am sorry” from her lip movement.

I nodded slightly and rewarded her with a smile, she let out a little smile at Jessy who still had Ryan on her arms, then her face tilted low facing the floor of the van this time.

* * *

“Nnam, words cannot explain how proud of you i am today. today my son becomes a man” Papa’s voice rang into my head.

I was in my room, a tight black Italian suit and with a gold tie knotted over a shimmering white shirt, a smart shiny black Italian shoe i had imported directly from italy.

I looked at papa’s face it was a mixture of both pride and fulfillment. Happy and tearful as well ladened in a mild grin.

“Your mother asked me to give you this on your wedding day” papa said stretching a gold necklace with a little gold plate on it, and engraved writing, though tiny was still readable.

it read “Happy married life to you my baby” papa’s eyes were becoming misty and it sparkled under the light. “she bought that days before she died, said nothing can ever make her miss giving you a wedding gift on your wedding day, not even death could” I could swear a tear escaped his eye.

I looked at the tiny gold necklace on my hand, it threw off some spontaneous gold sparkles responding to the lights when hit at the right angle. This was the best wedding gift i ever hoped for and somehow it was like mama was present at my wedding.

Yes, my wedding. it has been 2 months after Amanda was jailed.
Our wedding have being replanned and things had already taken shape. it was now a reality.

The church bells tolled as we stepped in. I was wearing an identical suit and shoes with Wilson.
The church was filled to the brim with people, echoing sound of a slow solemn song oozed from the choir stand.

I and Wilson stood before the priest, who was wearing a white flowing chasuble, papa was in the front row pew, chioma’s parents too and wilson’s. beaming flashes of grinning teeth were visible with tiny whispers amplified by the ever cool environment of a church.

Olumide stood behind us wearing an identical suit too, wiping of imaginary sweats from my face every now and then, the way he stretched his hands to its limit to reach my face was particularly funny.

The church organ changed its tune into a slow steady version of “Here comes the bride” everyone stood up performing a reflex tilt of the heads to face the aisle.

I looked on, my eyes glued to the aisle and so was Wilson’s and the priest who was standing just a foot away from i and Wilson wearing a holy smile and a book clutched in his arms.

Their was a high bout of appreciative awe sound as Ryan, smartly dressed in a miniature version of black suit with gold tie, walked in through the aisle door with Chioma’s little niece who wore a small version of wedding gown clutching a flower.

A tear dropped from my eyes as Chioma appeared in the aisle, a long flowing immaculate wedding gown with tiny sparkling white jewels in some desired places. she sparkled and the smile on her face was dazzling.

Olumide at least got a real job, felt his handkerchief wiping the lone tear from my face almost immediately.

Licia was behind Chioma holding up her veil, she herself wore a beautifully slender pink long gown.

Jessy came almost immediately after Chioma, in her own wedding gown too, an exaggerated big gown. she had never looked more beautiful, could see Wilson’s face light up.

People beamed on with smiles following them with their eyes as they walked down the long aisle with slow graceful steps that seemed to have been counted.

“Do you, Wilson take Miss Jessica as your lawfully wedded wife, promise to love her in sickness and in health, in riches and in poverty, for better for worse till death do you part” The voice of the priest sang out looking at Wilson, this was one of the questions everybody already know the answer to before it was asked.

“Do you miss Jessica take Wilson to be your lawfully wedded wife……………….” her face was glued to his with an unending smile. a gold sparkle escaping from her neck and i could see a similar necklace like the one papa gave me from mama around her neck.
Mama really didn’t miss our wedding.

“Sky” i could hear a whisper and a gentle nudge on my back, its definitely Olumide. “Guy answer the priest na” He whispered “e don reach 10years he asked you your question and you are still mopping at Chioma, come deh shed tears like woman”

That was when the tears in my eyes became noticeable to me, i had spent more than a minute lost in my own world looking at the heavenly creature before me. Some months ago it seemed impossible now its a reality, it really is over.

“I do” I muttered out wiping the tears off my face with the handkerchief olumide slipped into my hand.

“I do” Chioma’s voice rang out filtering into me. My heart jumped, her beauty was unmatched.
“I now pronounce you Man and wife, you may kiss your bride” The priest announced again, i wonder why they are allowed to watch the kisses.

Wilson wasted no time in delving his lips into Jessy’s.
Chioma’s lips on mine was unlike any i have ever felt in my life, somehow their was a special ‘feel’ that comes with wedding.

Could see Chioma’s father hugging papa warmly as they watched on with big grins. Mrs Ugwu clapping hard, her crisp golden head tie towering above others beautifully matched with a similar gold lace blouse and wrapper, flashed a thumb up to i and Chioma her grin was an ear to ear brand.

The reception ceremony lasted till the wee hours of twilight, it is impossible not to notice the way detective David and Licia utilized every little opportunity to talk which always got licia laughing out loud.

I looked around, people were dancing, howling and shouting with flutes of champagne in their hands raised in the air, bottles of beers as a blaring hit song from the speakers got people on the tip of their feet.

David and licia were also dancing, my eyes moved to papa who was laughing out loudly being in the midst of pot bellied politicians, his friends. His usual self was coming back and so was his protruding stomach.

The wedding hall was massive and no expense was spared in decorating it. Jessy and Chioma worked on the plans together. Clicks of photo cameras from media house firms was heavy and the flashes, blinding.

Jessy winked at me and touched mama necklace on her neck, i smiled and touched mine, clutched Chioma’s hands tightly. everything was perfect for me now and hopefully soon the real Johnysky junior will join us.

It really happened just like papa said “All will be well”

THE END

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Thank you all for your time and patience

Long live Nairajokes



My father kept to his words.He
stopped his travellings to stay with
us.Maami and i.I always wondered
why he had to travel all the time but
each time i ask him,he will tell me his
little job demands for it.
Even maami became suddenly soo
nice.
She made sure I ate well, she even
helped me with exercises and
massages.
The little joy i had was that
i was able to write my J.S.C.E before
my tommy started bulging.
I
wondered what Bisi,the over sabi- sabi would say if she sees me
pregnant.So i always avoided her.
::::::***::::::
The day I had the baby was a great
day. The joy on my father's face was
beyond description.I wondered if he
should actually be happy but i
guessed he never wanted to blame
me.
"omo dada- good baby" he
whispered into the baby's ears.
He sat on my bedside. "Sorry, mummy" he teased me.
I smiled for the first time since past
months i was pregnant. "She looks just like you, very
beautiful and hairy!" he patted its
hair.
"What name would you call her?" he
asked I looked away, name ke! How old
am I that I should know how to
name babies?! Unless if they would
name her Tejumola after me.
"I was thinking of naming her Eniola
or Ayobola, but more preferrably
Eniola." he continued, he was used
to me refusing to talk.
I simply nodded.
"Welcome to the world Eniola." he
said before whispering some
prayers into its ears.
And that was how Eniola came into
our family, the identity of her father
still remained a mystery to
everybody except me.
No one dared
asked me unless they want to see
me cry.
**************
on Eniola's fourth birthday, things
went sour for me. I was alone in the house, my father
has taken Eniola with Maami to the
Amusement park.
I refused to go with them despite
Eniola's pleas.
There was a knock on the door.
"Who's there?" I queried before
opening the door.
I saw a fat man with a pot-belly
enclosed inside a brocade Agbada
smiling at me.
"Good afternoon sir" i flexed my
knees, he should be in his early
fifties.
"how are you?" he smiled again.
"Fine" I replied with a frown.
"Is Mr Benson-your father around?"
he asked.
"No, He went out."
"Okay, if he comes back, tell him
Chief OlaBadmus came to look for
him o" he said before turning to
leave.
I slammed the door. Who is this one again? Of course I
know Chief OlaBadmus, he is David's
father, what does he want? Where
did Baami get this new friend?
Hmmn. I lay gently on the rug, and sleep
stole me away.
"Mummy...mummy!" Eniola shook
me out of my beauty sleep.
"Lil' cutie, you're back?" I sat up.
"Welcome." I greeted them.
My father handed me an envelope
"The post-man said its for Tejumola
Benson."
I gave him a quizzed look, opened
the envelope, a beautiful flower
encrusted card fell out: it read I MISS YOU MY DARLING.
I looked up at my dad, he saw it too,
his face expressionless.
I brought out the letter, and
commenced reading it.
It was from David, he said he's sorry
for not keeping in touch,that he
would be coming back next week,
that he missed me,that he loved me
e.t.c.
I hissed aloud, tore the letter, picked
the card and envelope, and into the
thrash can I threw them.
I walked into my room in anger.
Rubbish! I muttered under my
breathe.
After ruining my career...he missed
me and so what? I guess he wanted
to continue from where he stoped I hissed aloud again.
"Teju?" I turned to see my father holding the
torn letter.
"Is he Eniola's father?" He asked.
I kept mute. He sighed.
"Teju sit down, lets talk." he began
"you have to tell me, you see...you're
getting married next week..."
I jumped up, my right hand clutching
my chest. "Married? To who? Baami to who?"
my voice was close to a whisper .
"I've already made arrangements,
you can't sit at home like this.." he
hesitated.
"You see...errm, that man that came
looking for me, he is your husband
to-be" he concluded. "Baami? Chief OlaBadmus? A man old
enough to be my father? That's a
joke right? " my lips quiverred.
"No joke Teju, you're getting
married." He rose to leave.
"Baami, please don't do this to me, it
hurts, Baami it hurts." I was on my
knees.
"It hurts? Hmn?when you dragged
my name in the mud, threw sand of
shame at my face, didnt you think
how hurt I was? When you
disgraced me, did you stop to think
how I felt?" he shot back at me before leaving my room.
I let out a heart rending sob. This can't be happening to me, my
father can't do this to me "Mummy sorry." Eniola circled her
tiny arms round me.
I hugged her tightly and we wept
together.




NAIRAJOKES.COM




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ANGELS. EPISODE 4

I stood there looking at the beast and hike.the beast was right in front of hike.I kneelt down again to ask my FATHER(GOD) to give me more power to defeat the beast and hike.
The beast:"hahahahahahaha".laughing with a bold voice.
The beast:"thou are crying to thy father to help thou win a war thou can't fight".it said changing emotions from smiling to a squeezing it's face.
AME:"DEAR FATHER I pray unto thee please grant me the power and the strength to defeat and win the mission thou gave to me.".I prayed as I ignored what the beast said to me
AME:"AMEN".I said as a conclusion to my prayer
Hike:"kill her!!!!!"He shouted with a very loud voice that caused vibration.
I looked up and saw the beast running toward me.I too ran with my two hands and my sword flying at my back toward the beast with the same speed it ran toward me .we were both running at the same speed.it got very close to me so did I to it.it swung its two left hands.......(AME)remember it has the body of an ant. so it had four hands. two left and two right...... to knock me down.I slide downward putting my sword upward with both hands.its two left hands moved above my legs towards my sword while my eyes was fix on hike.its hands crossed my sword making the beast to loose its two left hands.it screamed in pain and fell forward towards the side I ran from. I got up and ran toward hike to get him.
Hike sat and watch me while I ran close to him.I boost myself very high with my wings and with full force shouting"MAY THE NAME OF THE LORD BE PRAISED" while I push my sword from my back to my front to knock hike down.my sword was very close to his face when I saw a dark ant hand coming from hike's front toward my face to knock me down.I quickly use my sword to block my face.the force at which the hand came pushed I and my sword back.I fell back landing with my legs and pointing my sword forward and my face down.
After I landed I look up and I saw the beast which lost its two left hands beside hike.the beast left hands has grown back.but I didn't understand how it ran so fast to stop me.......(AME talking)well I guess beast can do anything for there master.they could goto any length to defend there master.........it was breathing heavily while hike was smiling.....(AME talking)deep down i know that the only way for me to kill the beast was to take of its head........I looked at hike and the beast and said to the beast.
AME:"back off thou beast from my path before thou suffer THE ANGER OF GOD"
Beast:there is no GOD.the only god is hike.it said standing in front of hike.
.....(AME talking)The beast was a stubborn one and its stubbornness would make it see my other side.................THANK YOU FOR READING THIS STORY.........story by DINDY.....WhatsApp number:07087750433....facebook namessy nnamdi
PLEASE DO NOT SHARE WITHOUT TELLING ME



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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A little girl made a cup of tea for her mother.


“I didn’t know you could make tea,” said mum taking a sip.


“Yes, I boiled some water, added the tea leaves like you do, and then strained it into a cup. But I couldn’t find the strainer, so I used the fly swatter.”


“What!” exclaimed mum, choking on her tea.


“Oh, don’t worry. I didn’t use the new fly swatter. I used the old one.”Related

Secretary to boss: All the other women in the office are suing you for sexual harassment. Since you haven’t sexually harassed me, I’m suing you for discrimination.Related

1) “Tujhe Yaad Na Meri Aayi, BCCI Se Ab Kya Kehna”…

– Yuvraj To Dhoni

2) “Dil Aisa Kisi Ne Mera Toda, Carrier Ke Annt (End) Ki Taraf Mooda”…

– Sehwag, Gambhir

3) “Bhoola Dena Mujhe, Hai Alvida Tumhe, Tumhe Khelna Hai, Mere Bina”…

– Sachin, sir

4) “Chanda Ne Pucha Taaron Se, Taaron Ne Pucha Hazaaro Se… Sabse Pyaara Kaun Hai….. Papa, Mere Papa…

– Stuart Binny

5) “Khaali Haat Aaye The Ham, Khaali Haath Jaayenge”…

– Raina (Duck Specialist)

6) “Kya Karu Ooo Ladies, Ooo Ladies, Mai Hun Aadat Se Majboor”…

– Virat Kohli (Mr. Flying Kisser)

7) “Ham Toh Hai Aandhi, Ham Toh Hai Toofan, Dadagiri Kisi Ki Chalegi Nahi Yahan”

– Dhoni (Like A Boss)

8) “Run Barse, Dhule Team India, Ho Run Barse”…

– Umesh Yadav, Ishant Sharma (Run Machine For Opponents)


*But Finally One Thing Is Common In Everyone’s List*

~ Hum kehat rahi na E-Sasura Is Baar Ka World Cup India se Naa Ho Paayega…!! ????Related

When I was a teacher I worked my transfer to China to continue teaching there because I heard they pay teachers well there.
The first day I entered class, I began by calling register. I said, Sheng! A student answered, Present!
I called the second name, Chu Muon. Another student answered, Present!
Suddenly, I sneezed, Hatchia! One student seated at the corner stood up and answered, Present!
I exclaimed, Hmmmm…! All the student shouted, Absent!
I got confused and yelled at them, Shaa… Three students stood up and asked, Who among the three of us?
I got more confused and asked, What is wrong? A student stood up and said, Sir, I’m not Wrong, I’m called Wong.
I laughed, Hahahaha! A girl said, Present sir! (I came closer to find out what was happening).
As I moved, my pen fell on the table and made a sound, Ping chung chong! One boy got up and answered, Present sir!
I got more confused, frustrated, and ran back to Nigeria!


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2015-01-17 07:08:20

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I wanna wrap you up;I wanna kiss your lips;I wanna make you feel wanted;I wanna call you mine;I wanna hold you forever.Related

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BLIND BY NATURE EPISODE 24 (STORY BY DINDY)
please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story..
......3 DAYS LATER.....
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> The lady was in her house, with a bottle of alcohol thinking deeply of all the years and times she has stayed alone without celestin. she drank slowly, the bottle of alcohol with pains and drops of tears in her eyes. Her house was upside down, bottles and plates where littered around, the house smelled of hard drugs (cocaine and marijuana), she wore a bum-short with a shirt coloured grey, her hair was parked backwards into a long attractive ponytail. Her left hand was placed on her head as she drank of the bottle of alcohol which was half way over. Her mind was not where her body sat, as her mind juggled up and down her present and past life.
[LADY'S THOUGHT]=> My Celestin is still alive and close to me, it's been so long I saw him. I'm sure by now, he would be more handsome than before. [Laughs] I do remember those times I text him and he would reply immediately the message enters his phone, the times he would fight his friends just for me, I guess that was what build the love I really feel deep down for him. Celestin really brought air to my breathless life, he gave me what no one did and he also helped me through my challenges, There is absolutely nothing compared to the love I have for him.
[LADY'S THOUGHT]=> I need him to take me back, I need his forgiveness, he might be scared when he hears my voice, but I have to make him understand that, it was because i love him so such that it got me so mad when he rejected me and throw me out like a useless piece of rag. I really need to make him see reasons to take me back to his arms.
[LADY'S THOUGHTS] I understand that it was all my fault, that he lost everything he had, both the companies and his high standard in the state, I caused his down fall and now I wish I had never done that, but he actually caused what happened. He should have taken me into his arms when I threw myself to him, instead he turned me down and pushed me because of some stupid reasons.
[LADY'S THOUGHTS]=> I can't even understand myself anymore, time to time I just sit and think all about him, seven years as gone by and all I feel and have are regrets of what I did to him, seven years of uncontrollable heartbreaking pain. Life is horrible without him, every passing day of each of this seven years; I have spent without him are my days of pain. I have tried as much as I could to forget him, but it never seemed to work at all.
[LADY'S THOUGHTS]=> When I dated Prince, I couldn't forget celestin my first love, I kept on calling 'Prince' 'Celestin' and I also called the name of Celestin each time i and prince kissed. I am truly in love with celestin and wish I had never made such mistake.
[LADY'S THOUGHT]=> Why have nature chosen to treat me in such manner? Why have life chosen to punish me like this?. I know it was wrong of me to do what I did, I know what I did was beyond normal, but I was young and confused, I was really hurt by his rejection. I didn't know how to handle rejection from Celestin because I loved him ten times more than i loved myself, nature should understand me and the pain i feel now, nature should favour me so that i could rewrite my wrongs. At least I have tried my best, after seven years of trying to find celestin, maybe nature wants to teach me a lesson.
[LADY'S THOUGHTS]=> Wait a sec, how could this be? I couldn't get his current address, after all this years of searching for him both day and night, why did i give out so quickly when the nurse was about calling the doctor, well what is done is done, what can I do now?.
[LADY'S THOUGHTS]=> Wait a sec!, I could hack the hospital's system, why didn't i think of this since, nature have sided me this time, yes!.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> The lady, quickly stood up from where she sat leaving the bottle of alcohol on the table, where it stood like a little dangerous tree of confusing. She walked slowly, passing six empty bottles of alcohol which was drank by her alone. She walked into a room, filled with the pictures of Celestin --You could call it a Celestin shrine-- all over the walls, from the top to the bottom. A large laptop, was placed on a table close to the window side with the map of the state they habitat.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> She quickly turned on her laptop and waited patiently for it to fully turn on. As it came on, she danced her left and right fingers on top of the table waiting in absolute excitation to explore her idea.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Finally the laptop came on, so did the smile on her face too. She quickly did what she knew how to do best (hacking), but there was one more thing she eliminated from her mother plan and that was.
Lady: "Da*n!, this sh*t needs passwords", she said angrily.
Lady: "I would have to try out my password cracker numbers out, one of them should work", she said then she typed in one of the password cracker.
Computer: "[Robotic voice] Password denied", it said rejection her access.
Lady: "sh*t I have to try another", she said typing in another password cracker.
Computer: "[Robotic voice] password denied.
Lady: "[Frustrated] what the fu*k!, just accept", she said out of deep frustrating then typed in another password.
Computer: "[Robotic voice] password denied.
Lady: "[Angry] c'mon accept", she said putting in another password cracker.
Computer: "[Robotic voice] password denied.
Computer: "[Robotic voice] password denied.
Computer: "[Robotic voice] password denied.
Computer: "[Robotic voice] password accepted", it said making the lady smile widely.
Lady: "Yes!, I've done it!", she exclaimed with over loaded joy.
........MEAN WHILE......
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Celestin and Julian were out in the garden, they sat on a wooden chair which was right beside the entrance of the colourful garden. The cold breeze blew calmly and the sunlight shined bravely but gently in the atmosphere.
Celestin: "I wish I could see your face and tell you how beautiful you look", he said holding Julian's hands.
Julian: "I know dear, I feel the same way too", she said smiling wide.
Julian: "[Low voice] Baby, I want to tell you something", she said tighten her hold on Celestin's hand.
Celestin: "[Worried] go on, tell me", he said then moved a little bit closer to Julian.
Julian: "[Sad] I should have told you this a long time ago", she said.
Celestin: "Julian you sound so sad", he said.
Celestin: "Please Julian, don't feel sad, just tell me what you wanna tell me", he said to her in a sweet tone.
Julian: "Ok", she said.
Julian: "[Talks very slow] I would be going for a surgery next week", she said cowardly.
Celestin: "[Shocked] so you're going for a foot surgery?", he asked then smiled.
Julian: "[Laughs] Celestin stop it", she said.
Celestin: "Well you never told me what type of surgery you wanna go for, so I made one with my brain", he said.
Julian: "[Laughs] C'mon Celestin, I'm being serious here", she said giving him a smile.
Celestin: "[Laughs] Ok, I'm sorry my love", he said as he lifted her right hand with his, to his mouth level then kissed it.
Julian: "[Blushing] Ok, i forgive you baby", she said.
Celestin: "What surgery are you going for?", he asked her.
Julian: "Eyes surgery dear and i won't be back until 3 months", she answered.
Celestin: "Cool", he said.
Julian: "What!, i just told you i'm going for a surgery and all you could say is 'cool'!?", she shouted.
Celestin: "Yea, i already know, over heard it when you and your dad were talking about it yesterday", he said.
Julian: "What!, so you already knew and didn't even ask me!", she said.
Celestin: "You talk too much Julian", he said.
Julian: "What!, i talk too much?", she asked.
Celestin: "Oh come here you", he said as he gently placed his right hand at the back of her head, then pushed her head towards his side forcing her lips on his, making them kiss.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> While Celestin and Julian were kissing, Sam and jack where heading towards the garden. When they got to the garden, they paused due to what their eyes behold.
Jack: "Oh sh*t!, not again", he said looking at Celestin and julian kissing.
Jack: "This house is now a kissing ground for love partners", he said.
Jack: "Sam, i think we need to run out of this house", he said then turned to Sam.
Sam: "[Licking lips] let's kiss love", he said smiling.
Jack: "fu*k!, not this sh*t again bro", he said.
Sam: "Come closer my love", he said as he moved closer to Jack.
Jack: "Mummy help me!!!!", he screamed running away........to be continue
STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected]
Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi
Dindy blog is now active••••!!!!


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My virgin story
Episode 11

After riding me pleasurably for several
minutes, she released my kini from her
K---y for a while before resuming. Then I
remembered that Rachel was supposed to
be a virgin. That K---y was too smooth
and too wide to be Rachel’s in reality. A
sinking feeling overwhelmed me and I
longed to see her face.
“kiss me” I moaned to her.
Hesitantly, she moved to my face and
kissed me. Then I saw her eyes. What I
saw filled me with horror because it was
not my Rachel it was someone else.
“OMG!” I screamed.
It was Rachel’s mother. The mischievous
look of pleasure in her eyes sparked up a
mixture of horror and anger in me. I
sprang up from the bed instantly and
woke up from the dream.
I looked around me at the dark room,
how come I was having s-x with Rachel’s
mother in my dreams? I quickly switched
on the light. I felt my kini; it was ramrod
stiff. Then I heard footsteps approaching
the room. I had an inkling of danger
immediately. It seemed there was
something metaphysically wrong, as if
something fetish was going on. I fixed my
gaze on the door; fear of the unknown
gripped my heart. I saw the door open
and Bimpe stood there, looking at me like
a predator surveying her prey. She had a
blanket wrapped around her. She
removed the blanket and threw it on the
floor, leaving only her panties and bra
on. OMG I don die today oh! After
dreaming of having s-x with Rachel’s
mother, her sister walks in with the
wicked intention of raping me.
[]I sat up on the bed immediately, with
my back against the wall. I was scared,
confused and h---y at the same time. My
mind kept telling me to flee the danger
instantly but my body longed to stay
there and experience whatever was going
to happen. Then Bimpe quickly bent
down and picked her wrapper. The look
on her face changed from sensual to
serious. My eyes cleared immediately and
I realized she did not come with the
intention of having s-x with me, she
wanted to talk to me and her wrapper
had fallen by mistake. I heaved a sigh of
relief but felt disappointed underneath.
“Good morning, am sorry to disturb your
sleep. I just need someone to talk to.”
she said
I nodded “No problem” But I wondered
what was so serious that she would walk
into a man’s room at that time of the
night. She walked in and sat beside me
on the bed. Then she told me something
that surprised me. She said Rachel was
not really a virgin as she claims, that she
actually sleeps around and in fact she is
a nympho but she is just keeping me as
a future guy that she can marry. I didn’t
believe Bimpe, I accused her that she is
just been jealous. She said she she is
jealous but that she is telling the truth.
She said every Sunday she used to come
home when their parents were not around
with one guy from her school called
Johnson. I became alarmed and asked
her to describe the guy. The description
fit perfectly with my friend Johnson, my
roommate. An anger rose in me as I
thought about it. So the b-----d had
been banging my girlfriend while acting
like a good friend. But I still didn’t
believe Bimpe fully. There was only one
way to find out; ask from Johnson and
Rachel.
[]The following morning, Rachel hadn’t
woken up before I sneaked out of the
house. I went straight to Johnson’s
house in Ikeja and asked him about it.
He denied it initially but eventually
confessed that they started strafing when
she came to tell him that I was too slow
in banging her that I was dulling her
moves. I was so angry that I it him. We
had a fight that day that gave me a
bloodied nose. Rachel called later in the
evening and started crying, trying to
apologize. I cut the phone and deleted
her phone no. I felt so angry, and
betrayed. My Rachel whom I had thought
was the purest, most innocent girl in the
world was actually a biatch stabbing me
in the back. Throughout the week I was
miserable. I had to leave Lagos and
travel down to my family house in a
South-west city
One New Year’s Day I made a resolution
that I would not trust any girl anymore. I
would not even have a girlfriend. It’s all
over, there is no reason searching for
love, trying to stay innocent. What came
to my mind was to f—ck the next girl I
laid my hands on. I would seek pleasure
anywhere I found it and nobody would
stop me. But first I had to get rid of this
silly virginity.
The following evening I hit the streets. I
located the most popular brothel in town.
Today I was going to lose my innocence.
To be continued

>>

Saaye Ne Saath Chhod Diya Yaar Ne Dil Tod Diya;

Ab Toh Khuda Bhi Mere Khilaf Ho Geya;

Jo Pyaar Ka Chirag Jalaya Tha Maine;

Usi Chiraag Se Jalkar Mera Ghar Khak Ho Geya!Related

Big boobs don’t count if you’re fat;

And well, big dicks don’t count if you are one!Related
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