Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:

Strange Cure [Read it]


A doctor wanted to get off work and go
hunting, so he approached his assistant. Akpos, I am going hunting tomorrow. I
dont want to close the clinic. I want you
to take care of the clinic and take care
of my patients. Yes, sir! answers Akpos. The doctor goes hunting and returns
the following day and asks: So, Akpos,
how was your day? Akpos told him that he took care of
three patients. The first one had a headache so I gave
him Panadol. Bravo, and the second one? asks the
doctor. The second one had stomach burning
and I gave him Flagyl, sir. says Akpos. Bravo, bravo! Youre good at this and
what about the third one? asks the
doctor. Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the
door opened and a woman entered.
Like a flame, she undressed herself,
taking off everything including her bra,
her panties and lied down on the table.
She spread her legs and shouted: HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any
man! Lord Jesus! Akpos, what did you do?
asks the doctor. I put eye-drops in her eyes. One word For Akpos#BOLLY_SMART™®


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-08-25 08:16:37

611 Views





Akpos’ young daughter in her teens got pregnant. Akpos was so furious.

He asked her who was responsible for the pregnancy and she said told him a rich famous chief.

Akpos called the chief over to the house and they sat down to discuss the matter.

Akpos: Chief, I heard you are responsible for my daughter’s pregnancy. What rubbish have you done?

Chief: You are right, that is true, let me add this, if she gives birth to a male child, I will give you 5 million naira with a furnished flat. If she gives birth to a female child, I will give you 2 million naira and a bungalow. If she gives birth to twins, I will give you 10 million naira with a duplex but if she gets a miscarriage-

Akpos: [interrupts] You will have to sleep with her again!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-30 07:27:15

691 Views




I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed!

-Michael JordanRelated

home alone [Read it]


NEPA broth light today and everyone shouted up NEPA yaa in our house a lovely family of lornand in Enugu state but base in Abuja we still shout up NEPA so not quit long my grand ma called out my younger sis amara, amara she called amarachi my younger sis who is 10y of age rush to my grandmother bedroom and my grand ma said pls go put my phone on fire ah my little sis showted said grandma me I don't understand u ooo wat did u mean by put ura phone on fire imidetly my grand ma sequence her face like someone who drank saward Pammy and shouted with Igbo language ,,, New ara gbachie GI nti if they took dis fire ehh and u didn't put my phone on fire I will kill u den my kid sis rush into d kitchen turn our gas cooker on and place d phone on it not quit long she broth out d phone and said mama mama d phone don dorn u CNT imagine how my grandmother asha 200 melted my grandmother CNT STP crying I have said sorry for d past 2h she CNT just stop crying did crying of a tin is getting out of hand wat will I do. to dis girl now am so confuse


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-18 20:08:50

789 Views




History repeats itself because no one listens the first time.

-AnonymousRelated

I looked at her and she was still breathing, i couldn’t believe Aisha slept off during sexual intercourse. I had exhausted myself too, i laid beside her and didn’t know when i slept off too. I woke up around past 3 and noticed Aisha was not beside me. I stood up and saw her in the kitchen preparing food. I asked what she was preparing and she told me she was trying to make Amala for us. She said she wanted to prepare it and preserve it till i wake up but since am up now it will be better for us to eat at once.
Told her i will love to take my bath and pray before eating, she insisted on joining me in the bathroom and i accepted. We finished taking our bath, prayed and eat. I was still wondering what happened since yester night and why the sudden behaviour from Aisha. I asked if she knew what she did and all the promised she made, she said Yes in affirmative.
We were still discussing when my phone started ringing, i looked at it and it was Ismaeel on the line
Ismaeel: where have you been Abdulrahman
Me: am fine…hope no problem
Ismaeel: Am just worried that i didn’t know your where about
Me: I will be coming home now…..
I left Aisha’s place around 5pm and she insisted on following me,on our way going home, i kept thinking of so many things that people seeing us now will think Alfa and Hajia are working on the street not knowing that we have been having sex since the previous day up till that moment. At least it doesn’t show on face, everybody has one or two thing they cover under their cloth.
We got home, Amaka, Ezekiel, Elizabeth and some other guys were all in our room gisting, they greeted me and made some jokes about us. Ezekiel said have gone to go and enjoy myself since yesterday (As if he was there) but Ismaeel said lailai….
Me: Lets i forget, what kind of fried rice did you guys cooked yesterday
Ismaeel: Normal rice now…..
Ezekiel: Yes..what happened…ohh sorry, who dish your food yesterday?
Ismaeel: It was Amaka
Ezekiel: Where did she dish it from
Amaka: I took from the big pot now, is there any difference in the rice?
Ezekiel: Ahhhhhhhhhh……..Amaka, u don kill person
Ismaeel: Wetyn happen
Ezekiel: Na the rice wey we cook with weed she dish for them…Hope say you no eat am Alfa
“me and Aisha looked at each other”
Me: How we wan take know now…..i was the one that took it yester night at Aisha’s place and i was told i knocked down immediately and didn’t wake up till 10am this morning
“they all burst into laughter as i strong my face”
Ismaeel: Ahhh…am so sorry abeg, Amaka see wetyn you caused.
I saw Aisha off later in the evening and gisted about what happened, how we misbehaved under the influence of weed. We laughed it off even though we actually enjoyed what happened. On our way going, we saw Aminat on the road, Aishat greeted her but she didn’t respond. That was when Aisha told me that she has noticed Aminat doesn’t respond to her greetings nor talk to her ever since she has been coming to my place over 7 months ago.

To Be Continued...

>>

I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it.
And it will say Nobody Likes This.

Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.

Facebook is like a fridge.
Even when u know there's nothing new going on, u still go on & check it every 10 minute.

Why is Facebook like Jail?
"You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know!"



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-12 11:49:34

460 Views



Two brothers [Read it]


Two brothers nicknamed P SQUARE sang a song titled DO ME and got INFUNAYA pregnant they ran to escape the TEMPTATION but their BIZZY BODY couldn't allow them to stay because E NO EASY, while running they ran into DANGER till they began to ROLL IT until GAME OVER. These twin brothers now decided to trick BEAUTIFUL ONYINYE by telling her you must CHOP MY MONEY, she is happy dancing ALINGO not knowing that they will deal with her PERSONALLY. (")


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-20 13:58:24

287 Views



runs girl 1 [Read it]


Runs Girl
Runs Girl is a story about Linda, a university
student who in a bid to make ends meet and
out of the desire to live large and be among
the ruling babes on campus ventured into the
business of selling her body for money…
Read on and see how everything played out in
the end…
Episode 1
LINDA NARRATES…
I woke up with a start unable to recall where I
was. The room was familiar but I couldn’t
remember how I got there. I looked round and
realised it was a hotel room.
Then I noticed I was naked and my private
region was dripping wet.
The least I could remember was that I had
gone for a night party with my roommate the
night before.
There was enough to eat and drink and the
fun had flown lavishly.
Then along came this middle-aged wealthy-
looking man who came with Stella – my final
year roommate.
I was in 100level while Stella was in her final
year.
“Meet Chief Adeboye,” Stella introduced
pointing at the middle-aged wealthy-looking
man. “Chief Adeboye please meet my
wonderful roommate, Linda.”
I stretched out my hand and shook hands with
Chief Adeboye.
Chief Adeboye held unto my hand for some
seconds before dropping it.
“I wish you guys fun,” Stella said and left
immediately.
I felt uncomfortable when Stella left. It was
my first time in a night party and I never
foresaw that I was going to be left alone with
a total stranger for any reason.
But then Chief Adeboye turned out to be a
very nice man from the way he treated me.
He lavished me with attention, showered me
with compliments and treated me like a queen.
Everything went on fine till he handed me a
glass of red wine.
I sipped a mouthful, sipped another and yet
another and another.
Then I started feeling dizzy and that was all I
could remember.
The bathroom door clicked open and Chief
Adeboye stepped out from the bathroom
completely naked.
The picture of what had happened became
clear to me.
Chief Adeboye must have drugged me, carried
me to his hotel room and slept with me
without my consent.
But then I had no evidence to support my
claim.
His phallus stood erect between his two legs
pointing at me like an aggrieved snake.
“What did you do to me?” I asked trembling
with fear.
Chief Adeboye ignored my question and
climbed unto the bed.
“My friend, spread your legs!” He ordered
grabbing my knees and yanking them apart.
I felt sharp pain in my lower belly as Chief
forcefully drove his phallus into my aggrieved
pu$$¥.
Back and forth he moved for some minutes
before he began to groan like a bull on heat
as I felt warm, sticky fluid hit the mouth of
my womb.
When he was done, he pushed me aside and
threatened to deal with me if I ever revealed
what happened to anybody.
Then he dressed up, took his car keys and left
without uttering any other word to me…


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-08 20:31:25

546 Views




A.D.I.D.A.S. = All Day I Dream About Soccer
B.I.T.C.H.= Boastful Individual That Creates
Haters
B.I.T.C.H.= Beautiful Individual That Corrects
Hoes
B.I.T.C.H.= Boys, I'm Taking Charge Here!
B.I.T.C.H.= Beautiful Individual That Causes
Hardons
B.M.W. = Big Money Waster
B.O.Y.S. = Being Obnoxious Youthful Souls
B.O.S.S. = Built On Self Success
C.L.A.S.S. = Come Late And Start Sleeping
C.S.I. = Cannot Stop Investigating!
D.E.N.I.A.L.= Don't Even Know I Am Lying
D.I.L.D.O. = Daringly Inserting Large
Disgusting Objects
D.I.E.T. = Do I Eat Today?
D.I.E.T. = Don't Indulge Every Time
D.I.E.T. = Did I Eat That?
D.R.A.M.A. = Dumb Retards Asking for More
Attention.
F.A.D.W.I.C.F.= Folk, are, dumb, where, I,
come, from
F.E.A.R. = Fuck Everything And Run
F.I.N.A.L.S.= Fuck, I Never Actually Learned
Shit
F.I.S.H.= Fuck It, Shit Happens
F.L.U. = Fluids Leaking Unstoppably
F.O.R.D. = Fix Or Repair Daily
F.O.R.D. = For Only Retarded Drivers
F.Y.I. = Fuck You Idiot!
F.U.B.A.R. = F**ked Up Beyond All
Recognition
F.U.C.K. = Fornicate Under Command of the
King
G.R.E.A.T. = Get Really Excited About Today
H.A.T.E.R.S = Having Anger Towards
Everyone Reaching Success
H.O.P.E. = Hold On, Pain Ends
I.D.G.A.F.= I Don't Give Away Food
K.I.A. = Korean Industrial Accident
K.I.A. = Korean Imported Abortion
L.A.D.Y. G.A.G.A. = Like All Damaged Youths,
Great At Getting Attention
L.A.M.E. = Laughable And Mildly Entertaining
L.I.F.E. = Living Isn't Freaking Easy
L.I.F.E. = Love Is For Everyone
L.I.F.E. = Living It Fully Everyday!
L.I.F.E. = Learning Is Fun & Exciting
L.I.V.E. = Learning Important Values
Everyday
L.O.V.E. = Loss Of Valuable Energy
M.A.I.D = Mother Actually In Disguise
M.A.N.A.G.E.R. = Meaningless A**hole
Needlessly Activating General Employee
Resentment
M.A.T.H. = Mental Abuse to Humans
M.C.D.O.N.A.L.D. = Making Children Diners
Order Nuggets And Large Drinks
N.A.S.C.A.R. = Non-Athletic Sport Centered
Around Rednecks
P.I.G. = Pretty Insensitive Guy/Girl
P.M.S. = Psychotic Mood Shift
P.M.S. = Potential Murder Suspect
P.M.S. = Purchase More Shoes
P.M.S. = Punish Men Severly
P.O.O.R. = Passing Over Opportunities
Repeatedly
P.O.R.S.C.H.E. = Proof Of Rich Spoiled
Children Having Everything
P.R.O.M.I.S.E.S. = People Really Only Make It
Sound Extra Simple
S.A.A.B. = Sad Attempt At Beauty
S.C.H.O.O.L. = Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Life
S.C.H.O.O.L. = Sucks Children's Happiness Out
Of Life
S.I.N.G.L.E = Stress Is Now Gone, Life's Easier
S.I.N.G.L.E = Strong, Independent,
Noticeable, Generous, Loving, Enlightened
S.M.I.L.E. = Showing Miracle In Little Effort
S.P.A.M. = Seriously, Poor Advertising
Method!
S.T.R.E.S.S = Shit To Remember Every Single
Second
S.W.A.G = She Wants A Gentleman
S.W.A.G = Something We Africans Got
S.W.A.G = Scientific Wild Ass Guess
S.W.A.G = Secretly We Are Gay
S.W.A.G = Secretly Weird And Gay
S.W.A.G = Studies in Women and Gender
S.W.A.G = Stolen Without A Gun
S.W.A.G = SHOWING the WORLD ALL your
GREATNESS!
S.W.A.G = Sold Without A Guarantee
S.W.A.G = Stupid Wild-Ass Guess
S.W.A.G = Someone Without A Genital
S.W.A.G = Success With A Goal
S.W.A.G = Successful Woman Accepting
Greatness
T.E.A.M. = Together Everyone Achieves More
T.H.O.R. = The Hammer's Over Rated
T.S.A. = Touching Sensitive Areas
T.W.I.T.T.E.R. = Things Which I Type That
Everyone Reads ,
T.W.I.T.T.E.R. = Thoughts Which I Think They
Enjoy Reading
U.S.B. = Ultral Small Balls/Boobs
V.O.D.K.A. = Very Overpowering Drink, Killing
Agony
V.O.L.V.O. = Very Odd Looking Vehicular
Object
W.A.T.E.R. = Wonderful And Totally
Energizing Refreshment
W.E.I.R.D.= Wonderful Exciting Interesting
Real Different
W.I.F.E. = Washing, Ironing, Feeding, Etc.
W.I.F.E. = Worries Invited Forever & Ever
W.O.M.E.N. = Want One Man Every Night
W.T.F. = Worse Than Failure


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-31 00:35:20

385 Views




I quietly carried her to the staircase, my
heart beating wildly as I carried the heavy
load. I needed a whole lot of luck to avoid
detection.
Only a single mistake could destroy
everything I had planned.
Luckily I got to my destination without being
seen. I calmly dumped and pushed her
well,underneath the staircase (of the first
floor).
“If things go as planned perhaps it will take a
day or two before she’s discovered” I
reasoned before another idea came into my
head.
I rushed up to my room, grabbed a bucket of
water, came down and poured it all over her.
I wasn’t a biologist but i felt it could destroy
any evidence like my prints which were on
her body.
Yea it might sound silly but i felt a bit relieved
after doing it even though the water quickly
spilled out towards the exit door but it wasn’t
enough to draw attention.
I grabbed the empty bucket and returned to
my room. I knew nobody would investigate a
spilled water in a lodge filled with students.
Unless of course the cleaners.
As I got to my room, I quickly cleaned up
everywhere, packing up all of Nmeka’s things
in a big black sack bag including her phone
which was the first in the list, but before
doing it I first, logged into her 2go account
(luckily, the application opened without asking
for a password) and deleted everything about
me, including my phone numbers and text
messages we shared. I knew the police had
the means to get me if they were serious but
I did everything just as a precaution. I equally
washed the bathroom, and changed my bed
sheet, made sure everything was in order
before sitting down to rest.
I was so terrified and nervous. I needed all
the good luck in the world. I was scared of
being caught. My future just stood before me,
glaring at my face. I knew i did the worst
atrocity by trying to hide the poor girl, but I
had no choice than to do it. I wasn’t ready to
hang for something I had no hand in.
Nervously I waited for the hostel gate to be
opened, the success of my plans depended
on it.
I had to dispose Nmeka’s things in a place
very far away. Precisely in a river.

>> Page 5 -

It is not what’s outside, but what’s inside, that takes you to the top in the world.Related

I have many problems in my life. But my lips don’t know that. They always smile.

-Charlie ChaplinRelated

“seriously i don’t think things that happened when we were dating has anything to do with his death, believe me” i said slowly. The officer simply folded his hands and breathed deeply.

“nothing is hidden under the sun for long. Sooner or later i still will find out, so i believe it’s in your best interest to tell me all i need to know” he pushed with a smile.
I battled with myself one more time before making up my mind to open up.

“Damian was stealing from the company. He was doing it with a colleague in the records department. I found out about the whole deal three weeks into our relationship but couldn’t do anything apart from confront him. He ended up convincing me to keep quiet, equally promising to marry and take me to his home country. His plan was to get me established over there. I was a woman in love with a whole lot to gain. Of course i kept quiet and helped him steal more. He kept his word and married me, only to die before fulfilling the last part of his promise. Now what has that got with his death??” i poured out with tears.

“and the colleague in question, do you think he has a hand in his death?” he asked curiously.

“of course not, they had seperate accounts and divided proceeds evenly. No he is much more valuable alive than dead to the man” i answered seriously.

“well in a murder case we don’t rule out any possibility until the crime is solved. I admire your honesty. You bravely confessed being an accomplice to another crime. I appreciate and will keep my promise by watching your back. It should interest you to know that your husband might have been murdered in his garden, we saw some drops of blood down there, which now gives us two crime scenes” he said while i gasped with shock.

“yea Damian loved smoking and probably went to the garden to heat off while i slept, but how the hell did he get back to the bed, if he was killed in there?” i asked with disbelief.

“it’s time to go to your cell my dear. I’ll permit you to keep your phone. Just pray something new never comes out to incriminate you further, as for now the lastest discovery works on your side” he added with a cold smile, got up and led me to a quiet cell where I had the most terrying night ever.
I kept seeing my dead husband all through that night. Oh it was one nasty experience.

Dear friends, I spent the second night after my wedding in a police cell. What can be more horrible than such fate??

>> Part 7 -

Akpos and his wife were in bed one morning when the wife said, "I had a
strange dream last night. I dreamed I was at a penis auction. Long
penises were going for $100 and thick penises were going for $300." Akpos asked, "What would mine go for?" The wife replied, "They were
giving ones like yours away for free." Akpos said, "I also had a
dream last night about an auction where they were selling juicy vaginas
for $500 and tight vaginas for $1,000." "How about mine?" the wife asked
and Akpos replied, "That was where they were holding the
auction."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-06 08:09:14

1212 Views



bb tinz [Read it]


Njong: hello na who dey call?
Jennifa: it's me Jennifa!
Njong: Jenni Babe! U remember my side
today?
Jennifa: u know that I'm the caring type but
school wouldn't allow me visit u. Where are u? And what
are u doing?
Njong: Ah ah Je!! One question at a time. Anyway,I dey
chill for town! I dey on BB right
now!
Jennifa: u are a bigger boy now Oooooh!
Njong: na the levels that! Always on BB level
Jennifa: Do u know what Today's date is?
Njong: not at all!
Jennifa: U are not caring at all! U've forgotten that today
is my Birthday!
Njong: Weh sorry Jen, na the reason that u call me?
Jennifa: just want to invite u over to my hostel to make
my day!
Njong: that one na small thing na!
Jennifa: Ehen! Get me something special
Oooh!
Njong: like wetin?
Jennifa: I want to be on BB also!
Njong: that one na small level for me to arrange!
AFTER 3 Hours Akpos Arrived with a brown
paper
bag with 4 corner shape!
Jennifa: JEZZZZ!!! I guess it's Bold5!
Njong: Ah ah! Take it easy, na becos of BB u dey shout
like this?
She gave Njong everything he wanted!
AFTER EVERYTHING-
Njong: Jenni Babe! I wan move! Take ur BB
Jennifa: let me see u off fast, can't wait to see my
BB!
AFTER 10 Minutes Njong's Phone Rings-
Clara: hello Mr Njong, ur Gal friend has fainted
just now after opening a brown paper bag that
contains Bread and Beans
Njong: Na still BB nor, or e be think say na Black Berry?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-06 00:31:49

512 Views




An old retired soldier employed Akpos and Okon in his house.
Okon is to work as the gardener while Akpos is to man the gate.
The old soldier took them to a mango tree at his backyard and warn “You can eat any other fruit but stay away from this mango tree. I cherish it so much and anyone I catch will be jailed”
One week later, the old soldier notice that some mango fruits are missing.
He summoned them with immediate effect.
“Who has the effrontery to pluck my mango ” asked the angry soldier.
They kept silence.
He turned to Okon and ask “Are you?”
Okon replied “No sir! My hands are clean”
He then turn to Akpos and ask “This one you are shivering, I guess you are the one”
Akpos replied “Sir Nooo! Am seeing this mango for the 2nd time”.
The old soldier said “Anyway, let me not act until I ask my wife. Meanwhile, pluck some for me to eat”
Akpos carried a stick to pluck the mango, Okon shouted at him “Take that stick back! Its not tall enough”
The soldier asked surprisingly “How did you know?”
Okon replied “I tried it yesterday.”
Just as the old soldier was figuring out best way to handle Okon.
Okon grabbed the longer stick and started plucking the mango, Akpos shouted “Pluck the back ones, the front ones are not sweet”.

Who is the real thief?

HaPpY sAlaH. Love you all


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-25 11:52:06

31984 Views




Tell a therapist, not Facebook.Related

EYE CONTACT [Read it]


QUESTION: Why do men struggle to
make eye contact with women? ANSWER: Because breasts don't have
eyes.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-08 18:07:40

260 Views



Motion Sickness [Read it]


Santa and Banta are discussing the possibility of love. “I thought I was in love three times,” Santa says.
“Thought…?” Banta asks. “What do you mean?”
“Three years ago, I cared very deeply for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me,” Santa says.
“Wasn’t that love?” Banta asks.
“No, that was obsession,” Santa explains. “Then two years ago, I cared very deeply for an attractive woman who didn’t understand me.”
“Wasn’t that love?” asks Banta.
“No, that was lust,” Santa replies. “And just last year, I met a woman while I was on a cruise. She was gorgeous, intelligent, a great conversationalist and had a super sense of humor. Everywhere I followed her on that ship, I would get a very strange sensation in the pit of my stomach.”
“Well, wasn’t that love,” asks Banta.
“No. That was motion sickness!” Santa replies.Related

Enjoy your life at every moment

Once a fisherman was sitting near seashore, under the shadow of a tree smoking his beedi. Suddenly a rich businessman passing by approached him and enquired as to why he was sitting under a tree smoking and not working. To this the poor fisherman replied that he had caught enough fishes for the day.

Hearing this the rich man got angry and said: Why don’t you catch more fishes instead of sitting in shadow wasting your time?

Fisherman asked: What would I do by catching more fishes?

Businessman: You could catch more fishes, sell them and earn more money, and buy a bigger boat.

Fisherman: What would I do then?

Businessman: You could go fishing in deep waters and catch even more fishes and earn even more money.

Fisherman: What would I do then?

Businessman: You could buy many boats and employ many people to work for you and earn even more money.

Fisherman: What would I do then?

Businessman: You could become a rich businessman like me.

Fisherman: What would I do then?

Businessman: You could then enjoy your life peacefully.

Fisherman: Isn’t that what I am doing now?

Moral – You don’t need to wait for tomorrow to be happy and enjoy your life. You don’t even need to be more rich, more powerful to enjoy life. LIFE is at this moment, enjoy it fully.

As some great men have said “My riches consist not in extent of my possessions but in the fewness of my wants”.



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Continues..
Miranda:I am also confused. Milly has helped me
alot
and I can’t bear to watch her suffer
Presley:she must hate Preston so much but I
have no choice. He ran out of the house and drove his car
away.
Miranda was shouting his name but he refused to
answer. I slept off.
In Preston’s house
Preston:guy why you leave me for the party na? Presley:see ermm I nor come here about that
party just come with me right now?
Preston:watin dey sup na why all these
attitudes?
Presley:abeg you go follow me or not?(shouting)
Prestonkay,okay make we dey go thank God say I
never pull my clothes
Laurashe walked in) baby what’s going on(in
a foreign tone)
Preston:I will be ba…..(presley cuts in)
Presley: what? Can’t you stay on your own? Are you
still a baby? Aren’t you ashamed of following
preston
around like honey and bee? Why are you
following
him as if you are his car keys? Laura:I didn’t ask you so shut up and tell that to your
mother
Presley:your father! If I slap you one day,your
senses
will be intact. Nonsense
Laura:baby you are watching this…..this thing insult
me this way(tears forming in her eyes she ran
into the room Preston was about following when
presley held
him back)
Presley:u nor go leave that spoilt brat alone? must you
even doe follow her? If you nor maintain now I
nor go
hesitate to slap you. Na so foreign people lives
be and
the day wen I go slap her eh she go know say naija nor be Australia.
Preston:but joke level down , where are we
going?
Presley:if you want to know follow me if not you
can
go and meet that butterfly Back in my house
I was shivering and had a hot temperature by
the time Miranda entered the room
Miranda:OMG.please this shouldn’t lead to
sickness o.
Melissa would notice in no time and maybe your father will find out. What are we going to do
now?
Me:I don’t know. I have never experienced
such in my
entire life. Miranda went into the bathroom and
brought out a bucket of cold water and a towel, she went to
the
fridge and brought out ice. She pressed my
forehead
with the towel after squeezing out the cold
water in it then she gave me ice to lick. This went on for
twenty
minutes until the door opened and I saw preston
and presley come in.
Presley:please Milly take it easy font get mad at
me for bringing him here. Put away the anger you
have
for him.
I was speechless without knowing the reason.
Preston was looking confused and when I looked
at his eyes eyeball to eyeball, I saw tears welled up. He
came to me and sat on the bed
Preston:what happened to you?
Me:uhmmmm…I…I…I..
Preston: just tel me what happened(I couldn’t
help but cry) Me:I am sorry if this will hurt you but I have
no choice
but to tell you. I tried my best but
Preston:just tell me what happened!
Me:I..I..I..was raped
Prestoneyes opened wide and surprised with anger
in his eyes. His eyes suddenly turned red)
what!!! By who?? How?? When and where

To be continued after comments…


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Real happiness is cheap enough, yet how dearly we pay for its counterfeit.

-Hosea BallouRelated

Dead prostitute [Read it]


A guy was with a prostitute in a hotel room. During sex in the dead of the night, the lady suddenly went limp and lifeless. While the confused guy was still trying to understand what was happening, the girl's phone rang. He picked it up.


Here's the conversation between him and a male voice from the other end of the line:


VOICE: Guy, you're in trouble! That girl you just raped to death is the IG's daughter.
GUY: But I didn't rape her. I paid her for service rendered.
VOICE: Tell that to the police.
GUY: So what do you want me to do. I can't afford to go to prison.
VOICE: Pay me 50k and I will handle the rest. We could go to the nearest ATM machine if you don't have the cash with you. I'm a patient businessman.
GUY: Look, I'm a businessman too. I know a spiritualist who will pay one million naira for a fresh corpse like this one. We can share it 50/50. Give me a minute to call him.


The prostitute suddenly jumped up and said, "I'm back now! Where did we stop?"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-21 21:38:35

189 Views




Akpos and his best friend buba visit a prostitute.

Buba goes into the bedroom.

He comes out ten minutes later and says, ‘Tufia!
My wife is better than that. I shouldn't have waste my money’
Akpos goes in.
He comes out ten minutes later and says, ‘Confirmed!
Your wife is really better.’
Buba fainted.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-21 16:28:11

787 Views




Santa touched Jeeto’s boobs and sung: Piyo glass full doodh, wonderful doodh.

Jeeto touched his penis and said: Thanda matlab CHOTA COKE!Related

Frustrated Rajinikanth:

It’s really height of personal attack by saying that I can screw without a dick!Related

BLIND BY NATURE EPISODE 21 (STORY BY DINDY)
please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story…
…..A DAY LATER…..
[WRITER SPEAK]=> Celestin’s memory was back fully, he had remembered all that happened to him from his past to his present, everything in his memory was back again; like hairs regrown. The doctor called mr Smart to inform him of the new changes.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Mr Smart saw his phone ringing, so he checked his phone to see properly who the caller was. To his belief; it was the doctor that was calling him. When he picked it, his eyes all opened up, after he heard what came out from the doctor’s mouth.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Mr Smart was extremely eager to help and know Celestin’s family, so he quickly picked up his car key with all happiness and Joy, knowing that celestin had all his memories back.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> He left a Job he was doing, with his laptop and rushed out, leaving everyone at home; including Julian who was his best pal (without informing them).
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> He got to his car, got in then drove off. While he was driving approaching a traffic light, his car encountered a small wicked nail which deflated his car tyre.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> He noticed the strange way one side of his car felt, so he stopped; parking by the road side. When he came down, he saw the deflated tyre which was the back tyre. He looked at his deflated tyre, then took his mobile phone to make a call.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Three minutes later after the call, a man came with a brand new tyre for his car. Without no excitation, mr Smart car’s tyre was changed immediately and the old one was threw into the boot of mr Smart’s car.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> After a short while of driving, he got to the hospital. He called the doctor to inform him of his arrival, the doctor told him that he would be with him very shortly.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> He Looked around; like an owl, searching for the doctor. Within 4mins of his arrival the doctor show up (due to the call he made to the doctor).
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> When mr Smart and the doctor met, the doctor explained everything that happened from how Celestin screamed to after he wake up when he fainted.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Mr Smart just nodded and steered like an agama lizard. As the doctor explained more and more, they got closer and closer closer to the room where Celestin was.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> When they got there, Celestin was trying to sit up properly (although he still felt pain) on the bed.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Celestin was trying to sit because his mind didn’t let him rest, from the deep thoughts that went through his mind, about his past and the marks it left deep within his soft undertaken soul.
[CELESTIN THOUGHTS]=> Now I have nothing to live, hope, and fight for. Everything was destroyed by the rain and heavy storm that fell that day. I think it’s time for me to change from my attitude, I need to stop blaming life for where it kept me. What made me come back to this world? I was with my mum and dad.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> While he tried to sit up right with his thoughts rolling like a car’s wheel, the doctor called his name causing a breakage in his mind.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Celestin smiled, after the doctor told him that he had a visitor (who was mr Smart). The doctor left both of them, when they started talking because he had other works at hand.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> After mr Smart asked celestin how he felt, Celestin told mr smart said something, which was very interesting to mr Smart because he wanted to know about Celestin’s past and he wanted to help him find his parent.
Celestin: “[Talks slow] Sir, I know you really want help me”, he said now sitting up right.
Mr Smart: “Yes i do”, he said.
Celestin: “[Talks slow] Sir, you want to know about my parents?, he asked.
Mr Smart: “Yes I do”, he said sitting down on a chair right beside Celestin.
Celestin: “[Talks slow] Ok sir, Iet me tell you about to my parents”, he said.
Mr Smart: “Please do, I’m eager to know”, he said expanding his ear sensors.
Celestin: “[Talks slow] Sir, 7 years ago when I was just a young adult, I went out to go get something for my dad. On my way back home, I saw people gathered around my house. I quickly ran to know what was going on, I found my parent right there in front of our house, they were short in the head and heart”, he said as little tears drop came down his eyes.
Mr Smart: “I’m really sorry to hear that”, he said feeling pity for Celestin.
Mr Smart: “Don’t you have any other relations? Or family friend?, he asked.
Celestin: “[Talks slow] I did, but no more”, he said.
Mr Smart: “What happened?”, he asked.
Celestin: “[Talks slow] He was killed, the same way my parents were”, he said.
Mr Smart: [Shocked] Gosh!, that’s serious”, he said.
Mr Smart: “Do you have any idea who the killer might be?”, he asked.
Celestin: “[Talks slow] No sir, I have no Idea”, he answered.
Mr Smart: “Well, thank God you are alive and ok”, he said.
Celestin: “[Talks slow] Yea”, he said.
Mr Smart: “Celestin, since you have no one and no house as you told the doctor, I have made up my mind that you will leave with me”, he said.
Celestin: “[Surprised] Are you serious sir?”, he asked talking slowly.
Mr Smart: “Yes I am, well at least let me pay the price for knocking you down”, he said.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Celestin was very happy, to hear what he heard from the mouth of mr Smart, he was also happy because he believed his choice to take a new life style was beginning to go well for him.
……MEAN WHILE AT CELESTIN’S OLD HOUSE (WHICH WAS DESTROYED BY THE RAIN……
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> A lady with a red bike, stopped and looked at the deserted place, she came down her bike and walked up to where the position of Celestin’s house was ought to be.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> She walked majestically, opening the soil ground with her killer high heels. When she finally got to the right position of the house, she saw things scattered everywhere, she also saw the trace of fire.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> As She moved forward ahead, she spotted a shinny bottom on the ground. She bent down and picked it up.
Lady: “[Grin] So you are still alive, no matter where you are, I will surly find you someday”, she said………..to be continue.
STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected]
Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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It has been determined that having sex before participating in athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does not impair the athlete’s abilities.

In fact, men have known and practiced this for centuries.

After sex, they glance at their watches and say, “Oops, gotta run!”Related

When the Egyptians destroyed Libya in the 13th century B.C. they took 13,250 penises of their conquered enemies as trophies.Related

love quote [Read it]


LADIES,Don't think having sex with a guy will
make him love you. You will only get confused
with your feelings. Learn to draw the line
between love and sex. A man's emotion is not
connected with sex but yours is associated
with your feelings. Men can have sex with
many ladies without having any feelings for
anyof them. But a woman finds it difficult to
let go of a man who disvirgined her or whom
she enjoys sex with.GENTLEMEN,Don't
pressure ladies for sex when you are not ready
to take up its responsibility.Being a man is
not about how many ladies you have slept
with, it is more of how many ladies you've
helped to become better. Not by making them
a mother by circumstance, abort a pregnancy
or delaying their progress in life. But by
bringing out the best in their career,
ambitions or virtues in life. I hope those who
need to know these would learn


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-10 20:08:29

740 Views




It has been 2weeks since i returned from the U.K, since after Amanda’s visit to my room she has been acting normal and the visit never repeated again.

She goes about her daily activities normally without initiating eye contact with me or winks though she always wears a dirty smirk when ever am around.

“I have a surprise waiting for you” Those words rang in my mind over and over again. what ever she might possibly mean by that, i had no idea but it still scares the be-jesus out of me just remembering those words. Her calm yet serious tone she addressed me with sent goose bumbs surging through my body.

After several begging and bribes Jessy finally obliged to give me Chioma’s number and i have managed to get her to agree to visit, as a matter of fact she is flying in from Abuja this weekend.

The Saturday was rainy and boring, having poured cat and dog all night long. The morning maintained a very lazy humid atmosphere with bone penetrating colds.

Papa have gone to his party meeting having been elevated to the post of Party Chairman in the state.
Jessy have rushed off to University of Nigeria Teaching Hospital where she now works, and from the news she kept announcing to my ears about Wilson coming to pick her up for a lunch date, I knew she wasn’t coming home anytime soon.

I on my own part was dying of anxiety, Chioma’s flight will be arriving anytime soon. I did a quick scan of the whole house mopping up dirt here and there, arranging seats in order.

Shifting this and shifting that, all that Amanda sat in the sitting room, legs crossed with an amused look on her face and most part of her thighs exposed in a very short knicker with a slim flimsy pink top to match.

I hurried over a cold shower, trimming my beards and a long spree of teeth brushing running my hand in front of my mouth to make sure i had the freshest breathe possible.

11:45am my phone buzzed and hummed and the name Chioma buzzing out from the installed call announcer making my heart skip a beat.
“What if Chioma have lost that enchanted teenage emotion” my mind mulled over as i hurriedly literally jumped into a blue jean and white T-shirt.

Rushing off after checking myself for the one thousand and one time on the mirror.
Chioma’s call was now becoming frequent and she was sounding impatient.

I got to the airport 12:30 hitting the airport lounge with full speed. I stood there tilting my face left and right with my phone in my hand displaying Chioma’s number in the dial screen.

Felt a slight touch on my back startling me a bit making me turn swiftly in an involuntary fluid movement.
Chioma was standing in front of me, my mouth dropped open and i can swear my eyes widened a bit.

She was clad in a white gown that stopped just before her knees, running all the way to her shoulders hugging it tight in a graceful short sleeve.

Beautifully long braided hair flowing to the back, her hips and boobs were somewhat fuller than i recall. All in all a full grown angel was in front of me, Chioma was a full description of what you can call beautiful woman.

“Hey chioma” I blurted out opening my arms and closing it again in a moronic manner not knowing whether i am supposed to hug or handshake..

Like she read my mind, she chuckled a bit and retired her body into mine crushing heavily into mine sending slight tingles into junior sky.

“I missed you sky” I heard the words flow into my ears like music causing my heart to race faster than usual.
“I missed you too chi” i uttered rubbing her head.

We drove home on papa’s lexus jeep i came with, it was like the chemistry between i and chioma was automatic.
Who can imagine we have been apart for more 5years now but the affection and love i detect in this girl was still as strong as it was during our teenage age.

We got home after some minutes, i still can’t help always laughing anytime i see how effiong’s smallish body made it seem like the gate pushed him instead of him pushing the gate.

Amanda was still seated in the sitting room when i walked in with Chioma.
The look on Amanda’s face was priceless, that exact look she wore the day Joy visited me.

“Good afternoon Ma” Chioma greeted with a smile.
“Good afternoon dear. welcome” she uttered back flashing a smile at chioma.
**That type that only shows teeth**

I took chioma’s luggage to my room with her trailing behind.
leaving her to freshen up and change her clothes i strolled downstairs to check what we have in the fridge

“Sky!!” that definitely was Amanda’s voice my mind announced and my body making a U-turn.
Amanda stood with both her hands on her waist and her face looking like a tilled ground.

“I promised you a surprise, and you will get that surprise soon” She retorted letting out a mild scoff as she pushed pass me.

This time her words sounded more like a threat than a mild promise like she initially used the first time.
My confusion was intensified greatly, but whatever this is, wherever Amanda is going with this; I will be right here to see.

..To be continued..


>>

Words of Wisdom [Read it]


Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater.If you give her a sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.So, if you give her any aggravation, be ready to receive a ton of stuff in return.Related

That was what i shouted when i
opened my eyes as sweat was all
over my body, i look around and
what i saw was my parent and some
people including snakie86 my
childhood friend in a place that look
like our house in Offa, i was not
mistaken, it was definitely our sitting
room in Offa, my parent started
jubilating as i was trying to figure out
where i was, they were just shouting
“Alhamdullilahi” Alhamdullilahi”
Allahu Akbar” “ Allahu Akbar” (We
thank Allah, Allah is great)
My parent told me have been
unconscious for the past 8 months, i
was in LUTH for 3 months hoping i
will wake up but when i didn’t, they
later transferred me to Offa general
Hospital, i spent another four
months there before i was taken
home as the dr and nurses advised
that it was only prayer that could
revive me.
I started crying and begging my
parent to forgive me for what i did, i
told them it wasn’t intentional and
how i wish God can give me a second
chance to correct all my anomalies, i
explained what happened between
me and Nimat to them, how we were
dating as husband and wife while in
school, how i started chasing over
women, i told them we started
sleeping with each other since her
100level years till she got to 400lvel
after which she got pregnant for me
and i was the one who gave her drug
to use which eventually killed her.
I beg them to help me seek for her
forgiveness as her ghost is seriously
hunting me down and she was the
one that chased me till i opened my
eyes. I told them how i use to sleep
with married women, how i use to
play on their emotional imbalance to
get them to bed, i told them Joke was
one of my girl friend that was
married to a man and had given birth
to kids before i started sleeping with
her, she got pregnant for me and
pushed the pregnancy on her
husband, that one later got to know
that the baby is not his so he
divorced her and that was how she
ended in my house with my baby.
I told them about my landlady that
relocated abroad with pregnancy who
was not sure if it was mine or her
husband, i told them i dated her for
good 7years and aborted four
pregnancies for her before she
travelled abroad with her family.
I told them how i was a sex addict,
how i used to have sex with series of
ladies without using protection, i
don’t know who infected me with the
disease and how many people have
infected through sex, i don’t know
how long it has been on my body
because when the symptoms were
still fresh in my body in form of
headache and tiredness i always
think it was due to the nature of my
job and resulted to self medication of
paracetamol and anti malaria drugs
not knowing that what was wrong
with me was beyond that.
How i wish i can get a second chance
to correct all my mistakes as i wil
never do his again and this will serve
as a deterrent to people like me that
are engaged in this kind of activities.
If God should give me a second
chance, i will use my experience to
preach the gospel of God to people.
Please help me seek forgiveness from
God and the spirit of Nimat to forgive
me, it wasn’t intentional.
My parent busted into tears and for
the first time in my 30years of
existence in life, i saw my father
shedding serious tears and crying like
a baby……
THE END
I appreciate you guys for taking
your time to read this story.
Coming up with this wouldn’t have
been possible without your
support.


Q: What does a nosey pepper do?
A: Gets jalapeno business!


Q: What do you call a fake noodle? 
A: An Impasta


Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? 
A: An Investigator


Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!


Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?"
A: "You can't tuna fish."


Q: What do you call a pile of kittens
A: a meowntain


Q: What do you call a baby monkey?
A: A Chimp off the old block.


Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? 
A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!


Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock?
A: It went back four seconds.


Q: What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies?
A: An ambulance.


Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
A: Because she will Let it go.


Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.


Q: If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
A: Idaho... Alaska!


Q: Did you hear about that new broom? 
A: It's sweeping the nation!


Q: What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? 
A: An irrelephant.


Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
A: Lawsuits!


Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?
A: A towel.


Q: Why did the belt get arrested?
A: He held up a pair of pants.


Q: What do you call a fat psychic? 
A: A four chin teller.


Q: What do you call a computer floating in the ocean?
A: A Dell Rolling in the Deep.


Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato? 
A: Lettuce get together!


Q: What do you call a computer that sings?
A: A-Dell


Q: Did you hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica?
A: It's dread-full.


Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? 
A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!


Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogey in it!


Q: What is heavy forward but not backward?
A: Ton.


Q: What do you call a gangsta snowman?
A: Froze-T


Q: What did the femur say to the patella?
A: I kneed you.


Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? 
A: Kitty Perry


Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed.


Q: What do you call a three-footed aardvark? 
A: a yardvark!


Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks.


Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom?
A: At the BP station!


Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away? 
A: A taxi driver.


Q: What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise?
A: LMAYO


Q: What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?
A: a thesaurus.


Q: "How do you shoot a killer bee?"
A: "With a bee bee gun."


Q: How do you drown a Hipster?
A: In the mainstream.


Q: What kind of jokes do you make in the shower?
A: Clean Jokes!


Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
A: "Where’s Popcorn?"




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-07 09:23:07

285 Views




I use to be fucking stupid, but then we broke up…Related

Safe cracker [Read it]


The local bank near a large prison had a problem opening their safe one day. Seems that the mechanisms working the combination failed, so they called the prison to seek help.
The prison had a convicted safe cracker in custody. They released him under guard and took him to the bank to see if he could open their safe.
The convict worked on the lock for quite a while but finally he was able to open the safe.
The bank president was delighted to see his safe opened without having to have it ruined in the process, he turned to the safe cracker and said, “Thanks for helping us out here, how much do we owe you?”
The safe cracker replied, “Well the last time I did one of these jobs I got about $100,000!”Related

BLIND BY NATURE EPISODE 18 (STORY BY DINDY)rn please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story...rnrnAunty Grace: "[Talks super fast] Hello old man of the century", she saidrnMr Smart: "[Sniffs] How are you Grace?", he asked.rnAunty Grace: "[Talks super fast] I'm fine, where are you?", she asked.rnMr Smart: "I am in front of a hospital right now", he said.rnAunty Grace: "[Talks super fast] What!, I thought my rage sis was jesting around, I never knew she was life!", she exclaimed.rnAunty Grace: "[Talks super fast] What happened?, did your ways befall to the ungrateful nature of life?", she asked.rnMr Smart: "[Confused] Actually nature comprehended negative pulse upon my gently soul", he said making Grace believe that he understood what she said.rnAunty Grace: "[Talks super fast] That is very rear for your person of love, what did you do to attract such negative pulse of pain?", she asked him.rnMr Smart: "[Totally confused] I obviously observed that the.....cur...lin...i...op...we....", he spoke as if the line was breaking.rnAunty Grace: "[Talks super fast] I can't hear your words of sense", she said.rnMr Smart: "[Smiles within] I think the line is breaking...ma...b...i....shou...ju...ca..yo...la...", he said.rnAunty Grace: "[Talks super fast] Shit!, maybe we would talk when you resume home after your negative adventure from the hospital", she said.rnMr Smart: "Sure", he said as he quickly ended the call.rn[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian laughed so hard after her dad ended the call, with tears running down her eyes. rnJulian: "[Laughing hard] you should be given an award for the smartest human existing, like seriously, you're totally the craziest dad ever!", she said.rnMr Smart: "[Low eyes] I just have only one thing to tell you; lets go see the Doctor", he said.rnJulian: "[Laughs hard] you thought you were smarter than me, MR SMART", she said then laughed again.rnMr Smart: "Thanks to you, she slammed me with her Unknown out of the universe English", he said.rnJulian: "But you guys are twins", she said then laughed.rnMr Smart: "Julian.... Can we just go see the doctor?", he asked.rnJulian: "sure old man of the century [laughs]", she said.rnMr Smart: "[Low eyes] I ain't gonna help you walk, since you called me 'old man'", he said.rnJulian: "No need, I ain't so helpless, I brought my guide-stick along", she said.rnJulian: "[Deeps her right hand into her bag] see... Here is it", she said.rnMr Smart: "Oh!, you brought the adjustable one, lucky you", he said.rnJuliana: "I sure did [Tongue out]", she said as she opened the car's door gently.rn[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Mr smart came out quicker than Julian, then he locked his car after Julian came (without help from her dad) and they both went inside the hospital to see the doctor. On their way in a lady who was one of the nurses that help them when they first came with Celestin, was walking by.rnMr Smart: "Excuse me nurse", he said.rnNurse: "[Turns] Oh it's you", she said.rnMr Smart: "You know me?", he asked sounding surprisedrnNurse: "Yes I do, you were the man that Brought a blind man who was seriously wounded", she said.rnMr Smart and Julian: "[simultaneously] Blind man?", they both said surprisingly.rnNurse: "Yes blind man, don't you know?", she asked.rnMr Smart: "No we don't", he said.rnNurse: "I guess you wanna see the doctor", she said.rnMr Smart: "Yes", he said.rnNurse: "Ok then, please come with me, let me take you to the doctor's office", she said.rnMr Smart: "Ok", he said as Julian placed her right hand back on his left shoulder for support.rn[WRITER SPEAKS]=> As they walked slow and steady to the doctor's office, a lady who wore a strange perfume (Julian hasn't smelled it before in her entire life) passed Julian, the perfume smelled like rose mixed with banana. Julian liked the smell she perceived making her nose follow the smell in a space of seven seconds. After the lady passed Julian began to think about the perfume she previously perceived.rn[JULIAN'S THOUGHT]=> Da*n that perfume really smells awesome, I just wish I had my sight; I would ask the person where he/she got it from, it is so unquestionably awesome.rn[WRITER SPEAKS]=> while she was busy thinking about the perfume she perceived, they got to the doctor's office.rnNurse: "[Stops walking] The doctor is inside", she said.rnMr Smart: "Oh thanks alot", he said.rn[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Mr smart knocked then opened the door, the doctor was seated with his eyes fixed on some report/result.rnDoctor: "[Surprised] oh it's you sir, please come in", he said.rnMr Smart: "Thank you", he said as he and Julian walked in then sat on the chairs which were there.rnDoctor: "Sir, I didn't tell you something over the phone because i wanted to tell you face to face", he said.rnJulian: "I hope it ain't something extremely bad?", she asked.rnDoctor: "No it's not", he said.rnMr Smart: "[Sniffs] Thank God", he said.rnDoctor: "Well sir, He can't remember where he came from, I guess it was the way his head was hit, but no worries he would remember things in due time", he said.rnJulian: "Thank God it's not that bad", she said.rnMr Smart: "Is he blind?", he asked hoping to find out whether what he heard from the nurse was true.rnDoctor: "Yes, he is blind", he answered.rnMr Smart: "Shit!, why didn't you tell me that the accident look away his sight?", he questioned the doctor unhappily while Julian face was written with sadness all over it.rnDoctor: "[Smiles] No sir, it wasn't the accident that caused it, he was already blind, from the look of his eyes, someone poured him acid which ate up his eyes", said the doctor.rnMr Smart: "[Feels sorry] Oh, that's so sad", he said.rnJulian: "[Sad] Why will someone do such an evil thing?", she asked.rnDoctor: "Well not everyone you see are actually humans, some are demons from hell", he said.rnMr Smart: "Sir why didn't you tell me this from the start?", he asked the doctor.rnDoctor: "I knew that if I gave you that report from the start you might over react and there would be no way for me to calm you down", he said.rnMr Smart: "How did you know?", he askedrnDoctor: "Sir, I'm a professional doctor, it's never advisable to give your patient all the bad news at once, it might promote some necessary hard feelings which might not be controlled", he said.rnJulian: "Hmmm, smart doc", she said.rnDoctor: "[Smiles] Thanks", he said.rnDoctor: "Sir, who told you that he was blind?", he asked.rnMr Smart: "A nurse that brought us here", he said.rnDoctor: "Please can you describe her/him for me?", he asked.rnMr Smart: "Yes sure, she is dark, 5.6 foot tall, has..", he said unable to finish up his describing about the nurse due to the way the doctor reacted.......to be continue.rn STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDIrn contact me onrnWhatsapp/Viber: 07087750433rn Email: [email protected] or rnEmail: [email protected] rn Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdirn Skype: 07087750433rn orrn Skype: [email protected]: @nnamdiossyrnINSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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SON: Wow! The fabulous Asante Kotoko will be playing a football match with Accra Heart of Oaks. Can we go to the stadium tomorrow? 
DAD: No. You have to queue to get tickets and probably stand during the match. You can see the game better on TV.
DAUGHTER: Can we make it to the trade fair this weekend? 
DAD: No sweety, there is a grand sale show live on TV every Saturday. We will watch everything on TV. 
WIFE: Honey, let's go have a wonderful time at the Ghana Music Awards this evening. 
DAD: Hmm. No Darling, it will be broadcast live on TV. Better we watch it on TV


Later that night: 


DAD: Darling, I'm hungry. What are we eating for dinner? 
WIFE: You can watch Asanka Delight on TV. They are preparing "fufu" this night on TV.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-22 10:52:55

224 Views



Making Cakes [Read it]


There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.
The little girl says, "mummy, what are they doing? The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm the are making cakes."
The next day the are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she ask her mother whot they are doing and her mother relies with the same response, "Making cakes."
The next day the girl says to her mother. "Mummy, you and daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" shocked, the mother asks, " How do you mean?"
she says, "Becouse i licked the icing off the sofa."
Good to know you are there.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-04 13:19:51

322 Views



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