Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Why Do Girls Like Gold Things More Than Boys?

Answer: “Because Gold Has 24 Carrots And Boys Have Only One“ :3Related

Keep going. Everything you need will come to you at the perfect time!Related

Shaam-e-Wada Sahi, Dukh Zyada Hi Sahi, Phir Bhi Dekho ‘Faraz’;

Aaj Shab, Us Ki Furqat Mein Keh Lo Ghazal, Kal Usay Dekhna!Related

Finally Rahul finished his work and was ready to go home. He looked at Ana, who seemed to be taking a power nap.

He approached her quietly and sat by her side watching her peaceful sleeping face. He extended his hand slowly and caressed her cheeks. Ana opened her eyes slowly and looked at Rahul, giving him a warm smile. Even though her body was screaming to remain in the same position and enjoy his caressing, she got up and picked her bag.

"You ready." She asked him.

"Yep, lets go." He switched off the lights and followed her.

Since the apartment was close by, they started walking towards it. Rahul stopped on the way and led her to  TAO - a popular Chinese restaurant. He ordered their best wine along with the food.

"I am not going to drink."

"Why not?"

"I am not good at holding it."

"What is the worst that could happen?" He asked.

She looked at him, knowing fully, what he meant. A slow blush was already spreading through her face. The expectations for the night were killing her. She didn't want to care what happened, so she went for the wine.

After finishing dinner, both resumed their walk to the apartment. Ana was already feeling the warmth of the wine, spreading through her body. Suddenly it started pouring. Rahul pulled her under the patio of one of the buildings to escape from the rain. After waiting for two minutes, Ana bent down and started removing her heels.

"What are you doing? "

"Here hold this for me." She gave him her purse and ran out in the rain, holding her heels with one hand.

"Ana wait ..." Rahul had no choice, but to run behind her, holding her handbag with one hand. He hated to get drenched, but was worried about Ana crossing streets, without bothering about walk signs or rushing cars. He realized, she enjoyed getting drenched in rain.

He followed her for some distance and then caught her arm , making sure she does not fall down.

"Hey! Please stop running! I can't run with stomach full of food."

"Who asked you to eat so much?" Ana tried to pull her arm out of his grasp.

"Ok, you seem to be having lot of fun, but atleast watch for the signals and passing cars. Also we are going away from our apartment. We need to go that way .." Rahul pointed to his right, showing the direction to the apartment.

"Its not our apartment, it's your apartment. Also I am going towards that store. I need an ice cream." She pointed straight towards a store in a distance and at the same time, pushed him and ran across the street.

Suddenly a car appeared from nowhere and took a sharp left turn. Rahul pumped all his strength into his legs and ran towards Ana, pushing her out of the rushing car's path. Both of them fell into a road side puddle drenching them fully.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Episode 7

He asked Stella to take her things inside
and show
her to a room.
Stella grudgingly extended a fat hand.
‘Let me carry your bag.’
‘Worrying not, Anty Ste-llar. I carrying my
bag
myself.’
Stella took back her hand quickly. As if she
was
dying to help her with the bag before.
She showed her to a room and showed her,
all with
a bit of grudge, how to shower.
‘You smell nice,’ Nnanna told her when she
came
into the sitting room again.
‘Thanking you, jare.’
‘What fragrance is that?’
‘F-l-a gini?’
He smiled.
‘You washing oyinbo. Putting Mr. Ibu na.’
She held
her long gown together in between her legs
and
made to sit on the floor, cold and smooth
with
shiny cream-colored tiles.
‘No. You can sit on the couch.’
‘No. I liking to sitting here.’
She screamed when a Nollywood movie
came on.
But it wasn’t Mr. Ibu. Patience Ozokwo was
raving
and ranting at one of her daughters who
had
started to date the son of her enemy.
‘You like it?’ he asked.
She nodded. ‘I liking Patience well well.’
‘Hmm.’
She watched the movie with sounds, oh’ing,
hey’ing and aw’ing to the actions. ‘So
when is
Madam coming back?’ she asked.
‘Madam?’
‘Your wife.’
He stared at her before looking up at the
clock. He
picked his phone and scrolled down to the
number
saved with ‘Boo of Life.’
The reception was poor and he managed to
make
out her ‘Baby, almost home’ in the midst of
scratchy noises.
He turned the TV volume down a bit and
turned to
Mma.
‘Look, Mma, this is a mistake, you know
that?’
She nodded.
‘It was never my intention to put you in this
way.’
She nodded. ‘Stopping to blame yourself
na. I
opening my legs for you, I faulting myself
too.’
He inhaled deeply. ‘When my fiancee comes
home
we will make a decision. Hope you’ll be
okay with
that.’
Mma nodded. ‘Anything she saying, I
agreeing.’
He stared at her and then moved his head
in a
nod. ‘Ok.’ He ran his hand across his lower
lip. ‘I
promise you –‘
A noise came at the door.
He turned. ‘That must be Cynthia.’ He
looked up at
the big clock again.
‘Really late today.’
Cynthia entered, elegant in her prim dark-
grey suit
and shiny brown bag. Though her face was
dull
from exhaustion.
Mma rose quickly. ‘Good evening, Madam.’
‘Good evening.’
She hugged and kissed Nnanna.
‘Quite late, what happened?’
She shook her head, taking off her jacket.
‘The
bridge was blocked to the teeth. You have
to
consider that Lekki offer really quickly,
Richard.’
‘I think what you need is to stop work. You
shouldn’t be going through this stress
now.’
‘My leave is coming in next month.
Meanwhile, I
aint complaining yet and Dr. Hope said it’s
ok.’
He pulled down his lips. ‘If that’s what you
say.’
Mma stood there, hands folded behind her
and
head fully bowed.
‘Yes,’ Cynthia said, dropping her bag and
jacket on
the glass table. ‘If you really want to help
though,
you can do by hastening our move to the
Island.’
He made a face. Cynthia always wanted
everything
hastened; seeing her parents, moving to
Lekki,
getting a new car.
He inhaled deeply. ‘So–‘ His ‘so’ came out
loud and
his gesticulation exaggerated.
‘This is Mma. She just arrived.’
Mma gave another quick bow.
‘Welcome, Ma.’
Cynthia stared at her with pursed lips. She
did
something like a nod.
‘Richard, room.!!!’
Like a boy caught in an act of mischief by
his mom,
he followed her quietly into the room.

TO BE CONTINUED

>>

Pappu took her dumb girlfriend to see a Hockey match. He explained the field layout.

Pappu: See that man in front – he is the forward, and that guy at the back – he is the defence.

Girlfriend: Oh no, he is forward, too – I’ve been out with him a couple of times!Related

I was feeling exhausted. I'd gained so much. Grey revealing how he felt about me had been unexpected but it had been made me so happy. Seeing the specialist had taken away any of the hope that I'd had that my condition wouldn't be that bad. Grey held me while I cried trying to expel the heavy emotions filling me up. He patiently rubbed my back while I wept against his chest. After a few minutes my tears eased and I pulled away to brush the remains from my face.

"You feeling better?" he asked softly. I nodded.

The tears didn't alter the verdict but crying had eased some of my bottled up emotions.

My gaze pulled back to my house.

"I don't want to go in there," I said softly. I could just imagine how badly my dad was taking it and I had no idea how Alex would handle it.

"It won't be that bad," he said trying to ease my reluctance to face the rest of my family.

He gave me an encouraging smile. I took in a deep breath and expelled it trying to build up the strength to go inside. It had been such a long day already and I was tired but there was no hiding now.

"Okay," I said before I opened the car door and got out. Grey got out and walked beside me to my front door. He didn't touch me but I felt his presence right beside me every step of the way.

He opened the door for me and I stepped inside. A soft murmur of conversation came from the kitchen and I hesitated for a moment. Grey stopped beside me and looked at me. I took a deep breath and walked to the kitchen. In the doorway the conversation hushed.

My family looked to me. My mother had been crying. Her eyes were red and puffy. I breathed in trying to unclog the emotion in my throat. My father walked to me and pulled me into hug and I hugged him back.

"It'll be okay," he assured me softly and I nodded my head. I didn't want to cry again and if I tried to talk I would ball my eyes out again.

He pulled away and looked down to me.

"We are all here for you, and we will help you through this," he promised and felt the sting of tears but refused to cry again.

"I love you," I murmured to my dad without crying and he smiled at me. I pressed my lips together to keep from falling apart.

"I love you too."

That had gone better than I'd expected. I looked to my brother who had unreadable expression on his face. My brother pulled me into a hug and held me so tight it took me by surprise. He didn't say a word but I felt his desperation as he held me. He was scared. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I'd taken as much as I could and needed to escape.

"I'm a little tired," I said. It wasn't a lie because I was tired but what I needed more was time on my own.

"Okay baby," my mom said giving me the understanding that I needed space.

Grey walked out of the kitchen with me.

"You okay?" he asked softly as he stood in front of me at the bottom of the stairs. His eyes searched mine.

"I just need time to process everything," I said. I needed time to think about all my options and what the outcome for each one would be. Facing my fears of what could happen, were important for me to be able to take the next step. Time was running out and I had to make my decision.

"You need company?" he asked softly.

I nodded. I needed space from my family but having him around made me feel more peaceful. Thinking that I wanted all the time I could have with him and I didn't want to waste one second that we could have together.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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A youth corper was one of the
invigilators in a WAEC exam holding in
the school he was serving. Right inside
the hall when the exam was ongoing, a
very sexy girl who was wearing a very
skimpy skirt and looking so gorgeous was seductively making eye contact
with the corper, giving him that, "come
and get me" look. He went straight to
where the girl was sitting to find out
what her problem was. She asked the
corper to help her with the answers to the mathematics questions. He obliged
and gave her the solution to the
questions.After the exam, the corper
immediately met up with the girl and
asked her out for 'night out'.She
laughed and replied, "Do you think I'm a prostitute? All those actions I was
displaying for you in the hall were fake!
My boyfriend is over there waiting for
me!" The Corper laughed too and said,
"Do you think I know anything about
mathematics? I studied Yoruba in school, all those answers I gave to you
were all fake!" The girl screamed and
fainted!
Who is at loss between them?#BOLLY_SMART™®


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-11 15:27:09

471 Views



funny akpos [Read it]


Akpors gets home early from work one day and hears strange noises coming from his

bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

“What’s up?” he said.

“I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grabbed the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his
4-year-old son comes up and says, &ldquoaddy! Daddy! Uncle Ejiro is hiding
in your closet and he has got no clothes on!”

Akpors slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.

Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked inside the closet.

Akpors Angrily said: “You rotten bastard”, what is the meaning of this?
My wife is having a heart attack and you’re here running around my house
naked and scaring my children, is this thing fairs?!!”


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-18 15:07:58

406 Views




It’s good to have money & the things that money can buy. But it’s too good to check up once in a while and make sure you have not lost things money can’t buy!Related

Interviewer: This is supersport news and here am I with Nigerian player John Mikel Obi. Now I have a question 4 u when will u score
Mikel: I do score. but most of the times during training. I am the highest goal scorer in training
But am sure 2 score a hat-trick against Manu.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-09 01:27:11

241 Views




If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat ?Related

David zoomed out of the compound with many thoughts racing through his mind.Where could she have gone to?
Ebere's place was where he first drove to but she wasn't there.He called Ebere on the phone and asked her if she has seen her friend.Ebere told him she never saw her that day.
The thought of her running away to kill herself scared him.He knew the whole incident got her shattered,downcasted and heart broken.The only thing on his mind at that time was to find her safe,then whatever happens between them would be another bridge to be crossed.She had left her phone at home.

Somewhere along the road,David saw a crowd of people.Some were peeping,others were stretching their neck while others only shook their head.
He wound down the glass of his car to inquire from one of the on-lookers what was going on.

"Na one useless driver o wey jam one woman leave am there run"The bald headed skinny man answered,revealing his brown teeth.

Without waiting for him to conclude,David hastily alighted from his car to see the victim.Could it be Angela? His beartbeat increased.
He pushed through the crowd and behold,there she was.A young lady in a purple dress with her long hair scattered on the ground.He could see traces of blood.His heartbeat dropped as he sighed,wiping the sweat off his face.Angela was wearing a red top with a skirt made of jean material but he felt sorry for the lady lying on the ground there.Who knew if she was still breathing? That's the problem with people,David thought,instead of people to take her to the hospital on time,they left her there,staring at her as if she was something from another planet.He ran back to his car and saw four missed calls from his father-in-inlaw who also went his way in search of her daughter. He dialled back,shook his head,aborted the call and read the message he sent:"HAVE YOU SEEN HER? WHERE ARE YOU?" He drove away,his mind focused on finding his wife.


Ebere had paid some boys who raided Angela's shop but didn't get her.However,David's call informing her of Angela's disappearance got her worried because she was bent on sending the boys to her home,to kidnap her.She went over to see things for herself only to Angela's mother pacing all around the house pensively.
The baba said she must be brought to his shrine that very day.
She hung around with her boys near Angela's locality,searching everywhere with her eyes for her prey.
It was when she finally gave up hope of ever finding her that she caught the sight of something.They were from Angela's area.
Ebere focused her attention on the person she saw.She was trying to hang herself with a large rope.It was no other person than the Angela everybody has been looking for.

Angela opened her eyes when the blindfold was removed from them.She felt some pain and closed them again.
'What do this people want from me?',She kept asking herself,they should have let me alone to have peace.To rest from all these pains'
She remebered how she had gone over to Sonia's place with the gun in her hand.If only she had met her there or even her mother but alas,the door was locked with a heavy padlock.

She rubbed her hand over her eyes burning with pains.
She glanced around the place.The angry looking faces of the gods,combined with the furious men that kidnapped her made her nervous.

"What do you people want from me!?"She asked with shaky lips.

"Your time here on earth is up,woman"the old 'dibia' who was just emerging answered her.

"You lie.you are not my creator and so,you cant decide when my time is up"Angela,who convinced herself that her time was up when she wanted to take her life heard herself say.Her words earned her a heavy slap from one of those men,leaving traces of his fingers on her face.

Ebere showed up,looking at Angela straight in the eyes.

"Times comes in this life when we pay for the crimes and sins we commited.Angela,this is the time to pay yours"Ebere said with a mean face.

"What are you talking about Ebere?"The confused Angela asked,not believing what was happening.

"You thought i wasnt aware all this while? So you are happy that i have remained unmarried while you are enjoying life to the fullest with your husband,right? You drove away Mike,the only man that wanted to marry me by telling him how i do go about sleeping with men.Isn't it?"Ebere stressed out.

"Ebere,What do you take me for? Goodness me.So you believed i did that to you? Why should i? Everyone knows the type of life you are living.Its never a secret"Angela felt betrayed.

"I'm sorry.Sonia is already pregnant for your husband.I masterminded everything.She will take over your home because you are not getting away alive"Ebere said and turned her back on her,leaving.

"Ebere,Ebere,Ebe...why,i am innocent.why are you doing this to me? Save me oh God,my hands are clean"Angela cried,her heart almost crashing to pieces.

"Take her to the execution ground"The old dibia commanded.

>>

When your mother call your brother and you help in calling the brother of yours that time you are truly finished
.
.
.
.
.
..
Make something happen
Something is involved

I dragged her bump short and gstring pant
simultaneously, i couldn’t wait so much as i slotted my
dick inside her, i was just going slowly inside her, i put
my whole mind in the act as i was sucking her breast
too at the same time, it was a relief when i came after
like 10minutes in the act, i was shouting while coming because that was the most painful aspect of it too but i
didn’t bother to remove my dick inside her pussy, i was
still going in and out so that i can release fully, i rested
all my body on her after coming, my dick was still inside
her as it was a bit cool down inside her there.. She held my body to herself, i could feel her trying to
tight and loosen her dick against my dick, that even
make it so lovely as the pain was going down little by
little, she pushed me to the other side of the bed after
like 10 minutes… SK: How are you feeling now Me: A bit better..thanks so much Sk: You welcome…..what will you eat Me: Anything will be better please Sk: You guys doesn’t hear word, anyone that sees you
now will never know what you did to my babe, i just
pity your wife and family sha Me: Thank You so much SK, But where exactly is this
place “flaky and Mary walked in” Mary: uhmmmmm………………….You didn’t tell us
enjoyment is going on here SK: I just say i should come and play with our toy jare Flaky: that is good..and how was it? Sk: You should trust the horse now..only that i allow him
take charge…see how wet the bed is Mary: His thing don even come down sef Sk: U know trust me….the guy pump out like two times
ni…i was just laughing as he was coming out cos the
pain was out of this world Mary: I know in his next life, this dick will definitely not
want to follow him down to this world Flaky: You know say i dey always wish to cut the dick
away as one of my toy after hin don die..just that the
thing no go stand up again ni Sk: Sincerely have never seen a dick as big as this
before…… Mary: You think say na small thing..i dey tell you, the
guy go dey release inside you, you go dey enjoy am and
wouldn’t want him to stop all because of the size….. SK: abi oooo Mary: how you take know? He released inside you? SK: Yes ooo mama, i no fit lie for you abeg….Na the tip
of the ice bag gang an be that… Mary: Na hin be say flaky and opa don miss very
well..you need go clean up oo babe Sk: abi now…. Mary: but lemme have some fun before you clean up
now ….. I was dumb founded when mary passed the gun in her
pocket to flaky, pull sk closer and they started kissing
each other, it was a full blown up romance, flaky was
hailing them as they engaged in the act. They finger
each other and at a point i was pushed out of the bed
while Sk started sucking mary..”what an irritating scenario” i said on my mind


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Akpors father was inside a bus
going to his village when he
suddenly realised thats his purse
containing all his money was
missing. Somebody had picked it
from his pocket. He looked
around the bus, everybody was
calm, well seated and enjoying
the ride. Thinking of what to do,
within som few seconds an idea
struck his mind. Making sure that
everybody in the bus could hear
him, he said: somebody stole my
purse from my pocket.
People in d bus: no answer.
Papa Akpors continued: I said
somebody picked my purse
containing my money from my
pocket.
People in the bus (lukin at him):
stil no answer.
Papa Akpors: if the person that
stole my pulse does not want
what hapenned in 1994 to
repeat itsef now, the person
should own up now.
People in the Bus: now
everybody was looking around
and at each other. Some
murmuring among themselves.
Papa Akpors: i said what hapen
in 1994 wil repeat itself now if
the thief did nt return my purse.
People in the bus: now
everybody were seriuos. Som
asking within themselves what
hapen in 1994. And even others
are beginning to suspect Papa
Akpors as a native doctor or a
wizard.
Within a minute, Papa Akpors
saw his purse on floor of the
bus. An unknown person had
thrown it there. Papa Akpors
picked his purse and check his
money. Then comfirming the
amount to his satisfaction.
The people in the bus were
amazed, how they wish they
could realy know what happened
in 1994 .
One teenager, a very beautiful
girl with a glasses approached
papa Akpors were he was sitting
and asked him that he would like
to know what hapen in 1994.
Papa Akpors looked at her,
smiled and said: in1994 i was in
the bus like thiss and they stole
my money. Na leg I take waka go
house..


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-05 14:31:26

587 Views



BREAKING NEWS [Read it]


BREAKING NEWS:the federal government of nigeria has announced that today is thursday 25th of june 2015,and tomorrow is Friday 26th of june 2015..thanks for listening..no public holiday


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-25 14:22:25

707 Views




Truth is if I could be with anyone, I would still choose you!Related

BROKEN SEAL 2
EPISODE 4

Nenita was glad that her ‘dad’
can see again, she couldn’t
hide her joy, she was the
happiest girl on earth at that
moment.
Tomas was also happy, he
never dreamt he’d see again,
he hope he’d regain his lost
memory real soon.
Nenita hugged him tightly the
moment she set her eyes on
him.
Nenita: daaaaddddyyy
Tomas: Nenita? Is that you
Nenita? (in a very excited
tune)
Nenita: yes daddy! You can see
me now?
Tomas: of course baby……
(turning to Angelo) thanks alot
sir, i appreciate all you’ve done
for me, i’d never forget this…..
Angelo: you’ar thanking me for
the fifth time…..
Tomas: i don’t mind doing it a
thousand time over.
Angelo: (smiled)
*************************************
The prison guards werd on
their usual routine checks
when the saw a prisoner lying
next to the door, thick white
liquid drooling from his
mouth.
Guard1: Jim, can you see that?
(pointing)
Guard2: he seem to be having
an attack, quick! let take him
to the hospital before he dies
in here.
Guard1: we’d be dead if he
does……you know he’s the
Mayor’s son!!!
Guard2: you talk too much…….
They carried him to the prison
emergency car and zoomed off
to the national hospital.
************************************
The national hospital is a very
big one, actually, the biggest
hospital in the Philippine,
when it comes to size of labor,
state of the art facilities and
phisical size.
Making impersonation a very
easy thing.
Samuel bought some doctor
kits and other necessary stuffs.
The hospital has alot of
entrances, but anybody
bringing a patient must pass
through the reception hall. A
very big hall, housing over 150
receptionists.
Samuel sat with a receptionist,
they were getting along pretty
well.
He fed her with lies, how he
studied cardiology in the
university, struggled to get a
job in this hospital blah blah
blah……..
Few minutes past 9pm, four
armed policemen brought a
‘sick’ person, samuel knew it
was no other than Isaiah.
But why four policemen? Not
even two!!! Gosh! Hope their
escape would go smoothly.
*************************************
***5:46am***
Samuel: morning beauty.
Receptionist: there you go
again.
Samuel: you spent the night
here?
Receptionist: uhm….yeap, but
today is my work free day,
wanna hang out?
Samuel: yeee….a.as (stressing
the ‘yes’) but that should be in
the evening….er what ward is
the police’ patient?
Receptionist: why? Are you
some spy?
Samuel: no…no no, just
curious….
Receptionist: if you say so…..
He’s in special ward 4.
Samuel: floor?
Receptionist: lemme check.
She flipped through some
pages of a very large book,
then finally heaved a sigh of
relieve…..
Receptionist: third floor.
Samuel: thanks you’ar the best!
Er i need to use the rest room,
i’d be back before you know it.
He picked up his bag from the
rest room, and got clad in a
white ‘doctor coat’, white
glasses rested on his nose and
a stethoscope hunged freely
from his neck.
He took the elevator and soon
arrived the third floor.
After minutes of wandering, he
found the a hall way with
‘special wards’ boldly written
on it.
He located the 4th ward ASAP.
Two policemen were at the
entrance to the ward, ‘only
God knows how many are
inside’ he told himself.
Police 1: morning doc.
Samuel: i’m here to attend to
the patient in there.
Police 2: its not up to 5minutes
he was examined by another
doc.
Samuel: i know….that same doc
sent me here. if you don’t
mind…..
Police 2: wait! Whats in that
bag of yours?
Samuel: medical stuffs.
Police 2: can we see it?
Samuel: no you can’t!
Police 1: i insist.
Samuel: don’t tell me a doc is
also a suspect?
Police 1: whatever! Go in
already, hey make it snappy.
Samuel went in, Isaiah was
still asleep.
He(samuel) scanned the entire
ward, no other exit except the
one being guarded by the cops.
The only window was in the
adjoining rest room, but the
window was very narrow, and
there are on the third floor,
not even a super hero can
make it alive, jumping off the
window.

>>

A man went to Church on Sunday and gave
testimony
that he was
infected with ebola and God had healed him.
When he
had finished, he
tried to give the mic to the 2nd man but the
2ND Man
refused to take it:
2ND MAN- I have no testimony. Give it to
Pastor.
PASTOR- I'm not in charge of testimonies so
give it to
the Senior Pastor.
SENIOR PASTOR- Brother in Christ, the mic is
yours. It's
a gift from the
Church. You may take it home.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-19 20:19:13

481 Views




An aeroplane was boarded in a university in nigeria as the aeroplane was about to start the pilot say welcome ladies and gentlemen i want to inform you that this aeroplane was manufactured by your student and this is d first time of flying as everybody hear this dey start to run out except one man proffessor lamidi when everybody saw that he did not run away they ask him he say that no need of running because if na d thing we teach them d aeroplane no go work.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-07 23:40:29

527 Views




What would have been the name of “Mona Lisa” if “Leonardo da Vinci” was Gujju ?















He did have called her Monali Shah.Related

Aderonke: if you have said this about three days ago, you might have won my heart, but today I am already in a relationship. I have found the love of my life, my heart beats only for him.nChief Agoro: who is it? I mean who is deceiving you? A pawpaw that does not fall when a noble is passing, a common bird will take it for lunch.n Aderonke walk away from chief and continue in her journey to the market.n Ak Oke's school, we se pupils on the play ground, some are playing football, some are running, some are sitting down under the tree discussing and eating, while a boy is noticed sitting down alone, maybe he has no friend, maybe he is a reserved type. Oke is seen inside a classroom, he is bussy with marking of primary five pupils notes, a pretty lady is aproaching him, she is looking at him in a romantic manner, she is holding a food flask in her hand, the sound of her legs make Oke noticed that someone is comming, he raised up his head suddenly.nOke: ho! Miss Awelewa, good morning.nMiss Awelewa: good morning my dear, how has your day been? I hope it is not too stressful.nOke: my day is very good, what about yours.nMiss Awelewa: seeing makes my day to become a wonderful one, I prepare something very delicious for you, it is your fovourite, she hand over a food flask to him, he opened the flask, behold it is a well prepared rice and fried plantain Oke's favourite.nOke: wow! what a delicious delicacy! How did you know my favourite.nAwelewa: I love you and will do anything to please you, don't worry about how I know your favourite.n Oke stand up, he moves toward Awelewa, he places his right hand on Awelewa's left shoulder, he look straight into her eyes.nOke: you are a woman that every man will pray to be with, you are kind hearted, you her beautiful, your beautiful eyes can make a man readily fall in love, let alone your sparkling skin, I am very fortunate to have you by my side. Thank you very much for the love you have shown to me, I will reciprocate your love not with romantic love but with platonic love. I am already in love with someone, and I won't want you to be wasting you to be wasting your time with me, and be thinking that something is going to happen at the end of the day.nAwelewa: (weeping) who is that lady? Is she more beautiful than me? Did I offend you? What is happening? Please talk.n Oke did not say anythingnAwelewa: I will do anything in this world to see that you become mine.n Oke did not say anything, he just decided to be more careful with her because she is very despirate.n After clossing hour, Oke goes strait to Aderonke's house.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Government annouced dat anybody who av 5 children dia salary wil be increase by 50%
Husband: dear i av 1 kid with my gfwd so i wil bring him ome to cum nd join d remainin 4....... on getin ome back he met only 1child nd he asked his wife, dear where re d remainin 3children?
Wife: U re not d only 1 who heard d news so dia father has cum 4 dem.......
who supose to b blame? 1, government 2, husband 3,wife


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-21 10:44:25

490 Views



consider this [Read it]


i chat with a girl online she said "all men are goat" i asked her "have you given your father grass this morning" she removed me and block have i done anything wrong?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-13 14:47:35

208 Views




A local FM Radio station was
running a contest, and I
phoned up. The
Radio presenter said,
"Congratulations on being our
first caller, all you have to do is answer the following
question correctly, to
win our grand prize."
"That's fantastic!" I shouted in
delight.
"Feel confident?" she asked. "It's a maths question."
"Well, I am an Engineer and
have been teaching and
practicing maths for almost 10
years, " I proudly
replied. "Ok then, to win our grand
prize of 2 return tickets
for an adventurous trip to
sambisa forest and an
opportunity to meet
Shekau and the chibok Girls Face to Face, What
is 2+2?"
I replied, "7"
#BOLLY_SMAR


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-05 01:31:49

1807 Views




Three heavyweight men; an American, and an English man and Akpos were going to commit suicide by jumping of the top of a
building.

The American jumped off and shouted "God save America!"

The English man jumped off and shouted "God Save The Queen!"

Akpos jumped off and shouted "God save the person who I land
on!''


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-30 11:21:33

620 Views



100 points [Read it]


Akpos lived a carefree life and died, when he got to the heaven gates, Angel Michael told him he needs hundred points to pass through the gates of heaven, "So tell me all the good deeds you've done on earth."

Akpos started, "I helped a man change his car tyres while he was stranded on the highway.

ANGEL: Yeah! 3 points.

AKPOS: What! Just 3?! Okay, I always settle quarrels between ladies living in my compound.

ANGEL: That's true! 2 points.

Akpos, frustrated he's not making any headway, thought for long a moment and remembers one...

AKPOS: I saw a bunch of thugs beating a lady seriously and were about to rape her, so I parked my car, carried a big wood and hit their leader real hard in the head till he fainted!

ANGEL: Sorry, when was this?

AKPOS: About 15 minutes ago.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-09 10:09:22

460 Views




Susan: what is it Lara? (She glances from the paper which is now lying on the floor to Lara, undecided which to go for.)
Lara: oh my God! Dara was right. She was right, she knew.
Susan: knew what? Please don't leave me in the dark Lara, tell me exactly what is going on?
Lara: it's a letter from Dara. She knew wrote it before she died, no wonder she wanted to leave so badly, he touched her!
Susan: (moves closer and places her hand on lara's shoulder.) Calm down Lara, you are not making any sense right now.
Lara: mother isn't our biological mother. I don't know how dara got the information but that us what is written in his letter.
Susan: and are there any clues about how to get the facts behind the information?
Lara: mama akin, she says in the letter, she heard mama akin say it.
Susan: you know the woman? Where can we meet her?
Lara: mama akin is dead.
Lape: I heard noises, is everything alright?
Lara: aunty, did you know mother is not our biological mother?
Lape: Lara I know this has....
Lape: Answer me! Did you know she isn't our mother? Do you know who our real mother is?
Lape: your mother, I knew her a little. She was from the eastern part of the country. Her name was chioma.
Lara: what happened to her?
Lape: I don't know. I don't even know where she is now. You see, your father and his wife, the woman you knew as your mother, they didn't have any children for a very long time and your father was so in love with your mother, he didn't want to take another wife so he employed other methods.
Lara: other methods?
Lape: yes, he went and brought a girl from a village in east, he married her under the customary Law, got her pregnant and she put to bed, he took the babies and ran away.
Susan: you knew all of this and did nothing about it?
Lape: No, no. Mama akin and I later got to know six months after the incident. He called mama akin and told us where he was. But by that time, chioma had returned to her village with her parents and there was nothing we could do.
Lara: he was touching her, he was touching her.
Lape: what do you mean by that?
Susan: ( walks up to adewale and holds him by his shirt.) Why? Why did you do it?
Adewale: I don't understand what you are talking about.
Lara: that's why she was acting the way she was, he was touching her.
Lape: please, now I'm confused. What's going on?
Susan: she us saying that your son molested dara several times.
Lape: what? Adewale? When? How?
Lara: no, not him, father did it. Father was molesting her!( they all exchange glances and Lara slumps on the floor; crying softly.)
Lape: your father was abusing dara? That's ridiculous, it's an abomination!
Lara: it's all in the letter, that's why she kept appearing in my dreams. She was trying to warn me.
Susan: wow! This is huge. The rich truly have lots of secrets. Williams was sexually abusing his own daughter, I don't believe this.
Lara: that's why he left, that's why he locked her away, dara wasn't mad, she just wanted to tell the whole word she was suffering. Oh God! My own sister was going through all that and I didn't even know it.
Susan: do you know where there mother is now aunty?
Lape: I'm not sure, I've only been to her village once. I'm not sure I remember how to get there.
Susan: please, you have to remember, we have to find out more about that woman.( Lara still on the floor, continues to cry softly. Lape walks over to console her. Susan is standing by the window, a palm on her fore head while adewale stands in a corner, shaking his head.)







NAIRAJOKES.COM




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A woman decided to have a face lift for her
birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good
about the results. On her way home she stopped
at a dress shop to look around. As she was
leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you
don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I
am?" "About 35,"he replied. "I'm actually 47," the
woman said, feeling really happy. After that she
went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the
order taker the same question. He replied, "Oh,
you look about 29." "I am actually 47!" she said,
feeling really good. While standing at the bus stop
she asked an old man the same question. He
replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is
going. But when I was young there was a sure way
of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your
skirt I will be able to tell your exact age." There
was no one around, so the woman said, "What
the hell?" and let him slip his hand up her skirt.
After feeling around for a while, the old man said,
"OK, You are 47." Stunned, the woman said, "That
was brilliant! How did you do that?" The old man
replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-06 13:18:51

706 Views




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Boy Vomit 2 Coins But One Was Still Inside.

Father Shouts: “Help! Help! Help!”

A Woman In A Business Suit Saw It & Comes To Them.

She Pulls Down Boy’s Pants, Hold His Testicls (Goti), Squeezes & Twist Them Gently Then Tighter.

Boy Screams In Full Of Pain & Cough Out The Last Coin.

Father To Lady: “Thank You Very Much, How Did You Know All This Stuff, Are You A Doctor?”

Woman: “No, No….. I Am With Bank Loan Recovery Department.“Related

dreaming girl [Read it]


A girl in her sleep was
dreaming....
She dreamt dat she was
engaged on feb 14th. Still in
her sleep, she was getting
married to d same lucky man.
After d wedding, she became
pregnant and was rushed 2 d
delivery room and d nurse ask
her 2 push.
She pushed and delivered a
baby BOY, but d nurse told her
it was still remaining, she
pushed and delivered d second
baby Girl, and she was told it
was still remaining another
baby. As she was trying to
push d third baby out, her
room mate shouted "Justina
wake up! U don shit for bed
ooooooh". Lol! Stay connected with nairajokes.com



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-22 21:37:51

347 Views




Luke: i am....
Jude: hi baby brother
Luke: hello Jude
Loveth: baby;meet my best friend Vivian and Darling
Jude: Loveth;excuse me and please come get me something(exit Jude)
Loveth: please;forgive my husband for his rudeness
Darling: alright;we really missed you big time(she hugged her and press her burned arm and she frown)what is it?
Loveth: nothing
Vivian: are you sure(Luke stared at her)we missed you
Loveth: i missed you two. i will be right back(she walked away)
Darling: this friend of ours has change big time. i don't think all is well with her
Vivian: she is fine;have you forgotten that she have been away from us for five long years. five years is like a thousand years
Darling: you are right;she must have really change
Luke: excuse me ladies
Darling: not too fast;what is your name?
Luke: Luke Lucas
Vivian: alright;
Luke: excuse me(EXIT LUKE)
Vivian: see why Loveth is falling head over him
Darling: he is really humble(back to Joan)
Joan: Ruth;where is your dad?
Ruth: i don't know mom;is like he went to bring glass for the wine(enter Luke)oh!there comes dad;dad come sit close to mom;she is missing you already
Joan: baby
Ruth: its true dad
Muriel: you are teasing your mom
Ruth: i am not but mom am i lying?
Luke: Love;don't be a talkative. come here(he dragged her closer and peck her)i will always love you my baby
Ruth: i love you too dad
Muriel: i am jealous;my son has transfer all the love he has for me to this little thing
Luke: come on mom;you know no one will replace you in my heart because i will always love you
Muriel: i am just joking;you two are the best thing that ever happen to me(she hugged them)and you too(she hugged Joan also)i love you also
Joan: and we love you too(back to Lucas)

Loveth: dad;do you want anything?
Lucas: no;how is your injury
Loveth: fine sir;what about your health?
Lucas: managing
Loveth: alright

Lucas: where are your parent
Loveth: i don't know sir
Lucas: okay
Loveth: i am sure they will come
Lucas: alright;i need to catch up with my friends and family,so excuse me
Loveth: no problem sir(he walked away and she walked to her friends)hello girls
Vivian: yes baby
Darling: i thought you forgotten us?
Loveth: no way;i cant do that,you two are my only friend;i hope you girls are enjoying the party
Darling: of cause we are(she sit with them)you have turn into a big woman and a very attractive one at that
Loveth: of cause;so any new story;please feed me with it
Vivian: we are just there.
Loveth: why so?
Darling: is because you left us. so lets start from you
Loveth: what?(Jude stood two table before them and listen to their conversation)
Vivian: yes;tell us;why did you get married without telling us?
Loveth: is a long story;i didn't even know i am getting married
Darling: tell me;few days back before your marriage you were madly in love with Luke
Loveth: who is Luke
Darling: the boy you are madly in love with
Loveth: superman(back to Jude)
Jude: so this stupid girl is still in love with Luke but how come she did not know his name?(back to Loveth)
Vivian: yes;what happen to your love for him?
Darling: i know you too much and i can see that you still love him because he was the first and only one you love and i know that you still love him
Vivian: tell us;you are still in love with him. i see the way you two are staring at each other
Darling: the thing is;he is still in love with you
Loveth: fine;i am still in love with superman;i can't stop loving him because he is the only one that make me feel love;wanted and important too
Darling: then why did you get married to Jude?
Loveth: everything is complicated;this is the best for the both of us. he is married and he is my husband's step brother
Darling: what?
Loveth: yes;i am happy that i am married now
Darling: are you sure?
Loveth: of cause(enter Jude)Jude
Jude: fellow me
Loveth: do you want anything?
Jude: just fellow me(he dragged her to the kitchen)
Vivian: what is wrong with him?
Darling: he is too proud and i don't know why Loveth got married to him
Vivian: just let us enjoy our day(back to Loveth)
Jude: are you still in love with him
Loveth: no
Jude: go on and answer me(he slapped her twice)go on
Loveth: Jude;stop it(back to Lucas)
Lucas: son;go get me more glass from the kitchen
Luke: alright;i go ahead(he walked close to the kitchen)this man want to turn me to errand boy(back to Luke)
Jude: Loveth;i hate you because you are making a fool out of me(she punch her)i hate you(he slapped her continuously)
Loveth: Jude;stop hitting me;you are hurting me
Jude: i will kill you;if you don't stop loving him. stupid girl(he walked away)
Loveth: Jude;i am sorry(She sit on the floor and cry out)
Luke: are you okay?
Loveth: i am fine(she stool and wipe my tears)
Luke: are you sure?why are you crying dear
Loveth: i am not crying
Luke: alright(he walked towards the glass)
Loveth: so your name is Luke
Luke: oh!so you finally know my name,i am sure your friends told you because you really don't care
Loveth: i do care
Luke: really?(he walked to her and held her hand)you don't have to pretend(he mistakenly held her burned arm and she screamed)what is it(she withdrew from him and her burned arm was exposed)he is hurting you?that monster is hurting you
Loveth: he is not?you are the one hurting me;just go and leave me alone(she hit him)leave me alone(back to Lucas)
Lucas: where is that boy?he is taking too long
Muriel: i wonder why he is still in there(enter Grace)
Grace: good day sir
Lucas: welcome dear
Grace: thank you(she sit)where is Liz?
Lucas: she is in the crowd;where is your husband?
Grace: he is unable to make it
Lucas: alright;i am glad that you made it
Grace: where is my daughter?
Lucas: i don't know but i am sure she is in the crowd as well
Grace: alright
Lucas: Muriel;where is your son?
Muriel: i don't know;Joan;go get your husband from the kitchen
Joan: alright mom
Lucas: please do;my dear(she walked into the kitchen)
Luke: hold on,what did i do?
Loveth: why do you keep hurting me?(she cried more and Luke hugged her)
Luke: that is enough;i am sorry
Joan: prostitute(she pulled them apart)stay away from my husband;how else do you want me to tell you?prostitute(she slapped her twice)slot
Luke: Joan;is not what you think
Joan: oh!i see(she dragged her out into the living room)everyone(she grab the mic)attention please
Loveth: Joan;please stop it
Joan: why?everyone look at this little prostitute or should i say a big slot. can anyone tell me what will a married woman be doing with some one else husband who happen to be her husband's brother alone in the kitchen
Luke: Joan;will you stop
Joan: oh my poor husband is ashamed because this woman has continued to seduce him(Muriel slapped Loveth)slot
Muriel: stay away from my son. do you want to break my son's marriage
Liz: you are such a prostitute(she slapped her twice)if you know you are not tired of flirting with boys,why did you get married to my son
JUDE: Loveth;did you have to flirt around my own brother
Loveth: baby;is not what you.....(he rise his hand to slapped and Grace held his hand)
Grace: don't you dare raise your hand on my daughter
Joan: if i were you,i will be ashamed to call this girl my daughter
Grace: i am proud of my daughter because no one is like my daughter in this wide world and she is ready to do anything for the one she love
Joan: oh!really?just tell your daughter to stay away from my husband;when she left him,i am the only one who was there to amend his broken heart
Grace: you boast about been there for him;what about my daughter?
Loveth: mom
Grace: leave me;let me say what is on my mind. if you think my daughter did nothing for him;then you are mistaken because if my daughter didn't sacrifice her happiness for him;this husband of yours will be long dead(she grab Loveth hand)come on dear;lets go
Jude: Loveth;do you want to go with her?
Loveth: no;mom,just leave me alone
Darling: is this what you want?
Loveth: yes
Vivian: Love;please come with your mom;no one trust you here
Loveth: you all should leave me alone with my husband. this is what i choose
Grace: my daughter please
Loveth: mom if you love me;you will do this for me(she walked in)
Luke: Loveth(Jude stood in his front)what?
JUDE: leave;just stay away from my wife and you(to Loveth's mom and friends)get out of here
Lucas: will you keep quiet
Jude: tell them to get out of this house
Grace: i am not leaving without my daughter;Love please come down
Jude: i said get out
Lucas: Jude
Darling: ma;come lets go home
Vivian: yes;come on(they pull her up and walked away)
Jude: what are you still doing here?you bastard
Luke: Jude;don't you dare call me that
Joan: Luke;i hate you;come on Ruth;lets go
Ruth: i don't want to. i just want want stay with my dad and ma Loveth because i missed her story
Joan: don't you provoke me(she dragged Ruth outside)
Muriel: Joan;stop hurting the baby(she walked after them)
Jude: get out(he pushed Luke)
Lucas: will you stop it;he is my son and he deserve to be here also
Jude: then stay with him
Luke: i am leaving(he turn to leave and Lucas held his hand)
Lucas: i am sorry son
Luke: is not your fault(exit Luke)
Liz: so you want to take side with that stupid boy. for crying out loud this boy is having an affair with your son's wife
Lucas: woman;just keep quiet(exit Lucas)
Liz: where is that stupid maid(she called the maid and maid show up)you go and make sure everything is in order
Maid: okay ma(exit Liz)hello everyone please relax and enjoy yourself we are just having a little situation and everything will be find
guest 1: i wonder what kind of a family is this?brother is going after his brother's wife(enter Jude)
Guest 2: they are shameless family
Jude: go to your house and stop gossiping about people family
Guest 1: is it our fault that your wife is a flirt(Jude punch him and they fight)
Maid: sir please stop it(they separate them)
Jude: let me go(he walked into his room)
Guest 2: lets leave before this stupid boy will injury us(all the guest walked away)useless people(curtain)

Loveth: Jude;you are hurt(she touch his face)
Jude: will you stop acting like you care
Loveth: i do
Jude: i can see how you care by flirting with that bastard that call himself my brother
Loveth: believe me;i didn't know he was there and i didn't do anything with him
Jude: really?(he pushed her to the floor and he flogged her with his belt)i will cast out the demons off your head that is making you love him
Loveth: Jude;stop it(he continued and flogged her eyes)my eyes(she screamed and Lucas ran in)my eyes
Lucas: are you mad?(he pushed him from her and pull her out)Loveth;the doctor will be here soon. relax(he text his family doctor)sorry my daughter(Loveth kept crying)


TO SEE.....


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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¤I LOST IT¤( A Short Story)
Written By : Nonsegzy De Magnificenti



The sun illuminated through the hole called Window , sending scalding ultraviolet rays down to my face as i romanced the pegged-down bed which my sleeping matter laid on. At 10, my long legs and matured Face made me look more manly than my age which i later knew to be caused by high secretion of thyroxine. Being the first out of three had so many responsibilities , like I had to sweep our section of compound plus the interior - Thanks to our tenants who would sweep theirs, if not, my story could have changed, Preparing breakfast which my siblings will eat before going to school became an everyday routine. It was really pain-staking doing everything by myself. I complained countless of times to my Parents but they were headbent on their non-exalting insinuations that "A first child will always be a fIrst child".


"If chiemerie, my younger brother will take my birthright like Jacob, so be it" I would always reply why my father will laugh it off, Labelling it to be a Child's talk. More reason, I concluded within me that he dislikes me to his favourite Kids - Chiemerie and Ada which made me Isolate myself from telling my parents my ordeals ,knowing they will do nothing. Growing up, I understood my hard parents has always loved me, their love was hidden in a pinkscript which i couldn't understand with my shallow thinking. Back to my Story.


"Nonso, Nonso; Ebee ka nwaa no?" My mother's voice echoed throughout the whole room. The intensity in which it travelled mesmerised scientific elucidations. I needed no soothsayer to tell me the book of havoc about to be opened.I quickly sprang up my bed and Knelt down.
"Nonso, Nonso" The call continued as she barged into my room. I just kept mute, It has always been a tradition in our house-not to disturb someone praying. She calmed down on seeing me.
"Do fast!!, the time is 6:30am, Prayer Warrior" She blurted getting out of my room. I heaved a sigh of relief before getting on my feet to do my everyday routine. I hurried up, before 7:40. My siblings were already on their
Schoolbus while I dressed up for mine, not after getting blasted by my parents about how unserious i have been about my academics. They even talked about how i failed woefully last term by taking the 3rd position which got my thinking how my lateness to school brought about this early tonguelashing.


Reaching my school, The teachers for late-discipline, has already started their heavenly flogs. I couldn't help but laugh when I noticed one of my schoolmates, cry badly like someone being stung by a bee, without me knowing that today had so many reserves for me, which i never imagined. The day studies went as always as form teacher kept dishing out advices- To read ahead of our common entrance examination which was coming in few day's time. The bell rang signalling the time for break.
My close pal gave me a piece of paper, after ellaboraing who gave it to him- Ogonna The oldest girl in class. I quickly opened it and saw "I LOVE YOU" written in her blemish handwriting. I looked at her direction and she was winking at me. I couldn't digest what she was trying to portray. My friend noticing the change in my countenance, Looked into the paper and started laughing.
"Chiedu, what is it?" I asked suprised by his action.
"You just won a Jackpot" He said running away.
"Noonoo!!", I heard Ogonna call out. I matched to where she was seated, Handing the piece of paper back to her.
"Yes, I gave it to you, "
"Why?"
"Come, I have something to show you" She said dragging my hand. Still holding me, she led me to one of the uncompleted building in our school.
"What are we doing here?" I asked suprised.
"Don't be a shy shy boy" She said pulling her skirt up revealing her G-spot while i jerked in suprise.
"What are you doing?" , I said turning to run while she grabbed me.
"Where do you think , you are going?" She asked while i shook my head feebly.
"See i have done this with Edu, so why are you behaving like this?" she said pulling down.....





The END!!!



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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The law student [Read it]


A student failed in law and decided to make a deal with professor.


Sir, do you know everything about law?


Professor: Yes.


Student: If you can answer this question, I will accept my final marks, if you can't, you have to give me "A".


The Professor agreed.


Boy asked, "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical?"


The Professor thought about it for hours & pondered but no answer. He finally had to give up as he really did not know and he gave the boy an "A".


The following day, professor asked same question to his students.


He was shocked when all of them raised their hands. He asked one student.


The student answered "Sir, you are 65, married to 28 years old woman, this is legal but not logical. Your wife, is having an affair with a 23 year old boy, this is logical but not legal. Your wife's boyfriend has failed in his exam and yet you have given him an "A", this is neither logical nor legal."


The professor collapsed...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-05 11:18:19

240 Views




?????? ?? ?? ????? ?? ??????? ??, ?? ?????? ?????? ?? ??????? ??? ??? ?? ???? ??? ????? ???? 25 ????? ?? ??? ????? ???? 

???? ????? ?? ????? ?? ???, ???? ?? ??? ???? ????: ????, ??? ???????? ??? ???? ??? ??? ??? ??? ????? ??? ?? ??? ???? ??”.. 

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?? ?? ?? ???? 

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President Buhari's meeting with Chinese officials has
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Its a positive development and one will be glad as u read
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NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-16 21:21:46

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