Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Mom: At what time did you go to bed last night?

Child: Please never ask me again to disclose confidential information!Related

The foolish man [Read it]


Once a rich man house was on fire,he quickly called the fire brigades. The conversation went thus......
Man: is that the combustion officer?
Fire man: Yes
Man: granite here with tremendous clarity because a gigantic conflagration have engulfed my enormous domicilaries......
Before the man could look for d meaning of the words in the dictionary,his house has been gutted down by fire...
Hahahahahaha


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-26 18:40:56

483 Views




akpors and a white guy
were sitting in the park.
the white man had a pet
monkey and akpors was selling bananas.
akpors said ‘Mr. Can u look after my bananas,
i’m
going to the toilet”,
” Yeah sure, go ahead” said the white man.
When akpors came he
found his bananas had
disappeared, and asked “where are my bananas”
the white man pointed to the monkey
and said “ask your brother”
akpors chilled and sat down.
Few minutes later the white man asked
”can u watch my monkey I’m going to the toilet” ,
”oh yeah sure!” said akpors.
When the white man came back
he found his monkey dead and exclaimed
“what happened here?”
akpors replied ”
Don’t get involved please , it’s a family matter”

haha


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-23 20:44:47

134 Views




A scientist built a Robot that can test how stingy someone is. People began testing how stingy they are with the Robot but before the robot tells you how stingy you are, you have to insert a new battery in it.

Mr James went for the test, so he inserted a new battery in the robot.

Mr James:- robot how stingy am I?

Robot:- you are only 5% stingy

Rita then inserted a new battery in the robot to test how stingy she is

Rita:- Robot how stingy am I?

Robot:- Your are just 20? stingy congrat.

it was Akpos turn to test how stingy he is, so he inserted a new battery in the robot

Akpos:- how stingy am I?

Robot:- ( no response)

Akpos:- can't you hear me? I said how stingy am I?

Robot:- Fake battery detected....fake battery detected....China made battery detected

Akpos:- Robot you are 1000% stingy for expecting original battery when a bag of rice cost #30000

More funny joke at www.laughkillme.wapka.mobi


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-09-24 20:14:56

364 Views




Every wife is a ‘Mistress’ for her husband.

‘Miss’ for one hour and ‘Stress’ for the 23 hours.Related

I need someone physically stronger than me…. I am always on top. It’s really unfortunate. I am begging for the man that can put me on the bottom. Or the woman. Anybody that can take me down.

~ Angelina JolieRelated

Thanks for following dear reader. Please in case you didn't read the prologue "THE FORTUITOUS MEETING", rest assured you won't get this part at all. Do well to locate the prologue please, for proper understanding.
.
Now, the Epilog:
.
TD writing for himself.
Friday 25th October, 2013.
.
It had taken Chad a little more than two hours to narrate his experience of five days to me and two weeks for me to write the story. The two weeks was not because my schedule had been more hectic than usual, it was because the whole encounter put me in a dilemma.
First, the story sounded incredulous to me even after he showed me the gunshot wound on his shoulder that was still healing. I had given my word to write it and Chad was counting on me to do that. More seriousy, what if it was true? That possibility looked sinister. There were loose ends - personalities not mentioned but who could come across the story and feel the possibility of a threat: Someone alive, knowing them and their evil deeds. And someone writing the story, albeit masked. That was when i told the story to Diane.
.
Diane is my best friend. She is the best listener in the world. One from whose wisdom i had drank time and again. I had put her in one of her rare pensive moods when i told her the story and my dilemma. She had advised me to write it and mention only the people that didn't make it out of the experience alive. I had considered that sound advice. So i had gone ahead to write it and given her to read. She had made a few corrections.
.
When Chad learnt that the story was ready, he had arranged to meet me. He had refused that i e-mailed it to him. He wanted the manuscript, in hard copy. We met in a garden on the university campus. A driver brought him as he couldn't drive because of his hand. He patiently went through the printed manuscript after asking me if anyone else had seen the story. I made to answer in the affirmative when his phone rang. The call seemed to cast a gloom on him. He went ahead to read the story without waiting to hear my answer. I kept mum mainly because of his sudden change of mood. He had enough to be sad about, i surmised.
.
The time was past three in the afternoon when he finished. He had said no word through the three hours it took him to read the whole manuscript.
I searched his face for an expression that summarized how he felt reading the story, but all i could see was the shadow that had come upon him after he received the call three hours before.
"So?" I posed. I was eager to know what he thought about it.
"TD, you know what, i will let you know what i think. I have to go now. Here's a little something i personally wrote. A kind of Prologue. You should read it. I got a call from Mom. She wants me at her place when she gets home from the hospital. I'm worried at her tone of voice. I'm thinking she's having a relapse. I guess the sorrow of hearing about her son's accident and death has been too much to bear for her. Since she returned to Nigeria for the burial, she has been a shadow of herself. I'm really sad about everything. I wish there was something i could do about it. I blame myself sometimes. And God, too. For the dumb gift i am cursed with." He paused and looking at his wristwatch said, "It's about time i started moving." He handed a printed sheet to me while he spoke.
"Should i drop you at the university gate, the main one?" He asked. I answered in the affirmative. There was nothing else i had to do on campus. I hopped in the back seat with him as the driver drove off.
We were almost near the main gate, when his phone rang again. There was light traffic on the main road and his driver moved a little further down to find a good place to park so i could alight. He was still on the call when the car stopped. I waited for him to end his call so i could do the courtesy of sending my regards to his Mom. He finally ended the call and i did send my regards. He simply nodded, his expression still cloudy. I had shrugged and made to open the door to alight when he called my name.
"TD."
I turned to look at him and i briefly saw his bad hand swiftly and firmly press a sweet smelling handkerchief to my face. That was the last thing i remembered.
.
#TO BE CONTINUED...#


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Not around [Read it]


DAD: Akpos, if Mr John asks
after me, tell him I’m not
around. How will you tell
him
when he comes, cos i know
you are funny? AKPOS: When he comes, I
will say my daddy said I should tell
you he is not around.
DAD: Idiot! Just tell him, he is
not around. Ok!? AKPOS: Yes daddy.
[When Mr John arrived…]
MR JOHN: Akpos, where is ur daddy?
AKPOS: He is not around.
MR JOHN: When is he coming
back?
AKPOS: Wait let me go and ask him he didn’t
tell me.
(Rushed into the room, shouting, daddy,
daddy,
when are u coming back?)
.
go to Emmexcity.blogspot.com
to see more jokes


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-13 15:08:01

507 Views




Being in a long queue, hoping to use an ATM service can be very
frustrating at times. Thanks to these characters who make it annoying.

1. The guy that counts money before leaving the ATM for others. As if if the money short, ATM go complete am for am?

2.
The dude that knows he does not have a kobo in his account, but hopes
for a miracle. After wasting everyone's' time,' insufficient balance'
will chase him away!

3. The guy that multiplies the cue just to check his balance. You will be left wondering whether he does not receive alerts.

4.
The guy that acts as if the world will end today. He goes to the Atm
and you think he wants to withdraw his whole life savings. At a point
people will start begging him to remain some cash in the ATM.

5.
The dude that quarrels with the ATM. Even though the machine is
prompting him that his pin is incorrect or card has expired. U will
still him complaining or screaming at the ATM. 'Jeez! I used this card
just this morning! Which kyn bank be this?

6. that man/woman
that just goes there an stand for almost 20minutes... When you go closer
you discover the machine asked 'do you wish to proceed? Yes or No? And
the olodo just did not press anything.

7. The instructor. Leaves the cue to go and instruct another only to be the next person. Too annoying.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-03 22:14:23

268 Views




Day1- Me: bhaiya Chandni chowk chaloge?

Autowala: No



Day2- Me: Railway station?

Autowala: No



Day3- Me: Connaught place?

Autowala: No


.
.
.
.
.
.


Day9- Me: India Gate?

Autowala: No



Me: bhopdike.. desh mars pe pahunch gaya aur tu kahin nahi ja rhaRelated

I ran to Mirabel’s room for the second time in two days. This
time, Mirabel was really worked up. Mirabel was the girl in
whose room I slept that night. “What is it again?” She asked
staring at me angrily. “That same ghost,” I replied trembling.
“But you said you will inform me when you get back, you
didn’t inform me again,” she complained. “I’m sorry dear,” I
apologised. “Had lots of things in mind and didn’t
remember.” Mirabel stared at me for some seconds before
sitting down on her bed. I sat along with her still trembling.
She cleared her throat and began. “Do you mind telling me
what exactly is happening?” she asked nodding her head in
emphasis. “I mean how exactly did all these come about? I
mean when did all these start? I mean how did all these start
and who did you say is pursuing you?” “My dear I don’t
know,” I lied in the bid to save face. “It all started that night I
ran to your room for no reason in particular.” “So tell me
about it,” Mirabel pressed on. “I had come back from
fellowship,” I lied. “Had my bath and sat on my bed to apply
cream on my body but on squeezing the cream unto my
palm, I saw blood and at the same time a woman’s voice
started laughing at me and I ran to your room immediately.”
Mirabel kept mute after listening to my story. “You need to
see a man of God,” she advised after the short silence. “Let’s
go now if you’re ready.” “Yes I’m ready,” I replied springing
to my feet. We drove to the man of God’s place somewhere
around town and luckily for us, the man of God was in his
office when we came. He was a middle aged man in his late
forties and wore a dark suit. “You’re been pursued by too
many spirits,” he revealed pointing at me. “And the whole lot
of them are out to kill you.” I and Mirabel froze with fear as
the man of God made his pronouncements.? “Say these
prayers alone when you get home,” he directed scribbling
some bible verses on a piece of paper. “Say it alone.” After
that he stood up and handed the piece of paper to me. We
stood up and left afterwards but not without first putting our
offering in a large bowl on the table. He blessed us and we
left. We got to our lodge and I went to my room to do the
prayers. Mirabel went to her own room as well. I unlocked
my door and fearfully went inside. “Return my five hundred
thousand naira or you will never know peace,” an unseen
voice declared as soon as I locked the door. The keys I had
in my hands fell off and my legs wobbled. Then my phone
began to ring. My phone hadn’t rung for the past two days
and I even forgot I had a phone. I glanced at the caller and
behold it was senator clifford. I picked the call immediately.
“For the past three days I’ve had this severe each at the tip
of my p€nis,” the senator complained as soon as I picked the
call. “Why didn’t you inform me that you had veneral
disease?” “Hah senator,” I replied nervously. “I don’t have
any veneral disease.” “Shut up you liar!” The senator barked.
“You infected me with gonorrhoea and you still have the
audacity to lie to me? We shall see!” I shook like a leaf as the
senator ended the call. My entire world was crashing before
my eyes and I didn’t know what to do. The duplex he
promised to buy for me he didn’t even talk about it but was
rather threatening me for infecting him with gonorrhoea.
With the last strength I had, I picked up my bible and read
one of the verses the man of God had written for me. I
couldn’t remember the last time I brought out that bible
talkmore of reading it. I read psalm 121 which began thus: “I
look to the mountains; where will my help come from? My
help will come from the lord, who made heaven and earth

>> Episode 45 -

Pack ur things [Read it]


Drama this Morning: My wife and I were having a serious quarrel
when I said to her..."pack your things and ....."At that point, her
phone rang, so I had to stop for her to receive the call. It was her
dad. The phone was on speaker so I could hear what he was
saying. After the usual pleasantries between father and daughter,
he said:"my daughter, I have transferred $1,000,000 into your
account, give your husband $500,000 out of it, and you can have
the other half." Am sending one of the parked cars to u and ur
husband for family use. After the good-byes, the call ended, and
she turned to me:"you said I should pack my things and do
what?""I SAID PACK YOUR THINGS AND GIVE THEM TO ME TO
WASH.". I will iron them when light comes back. Pls don't smile
alone, put smile on someone's face too.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-24 10:02:41

635 Views




JOKE PART 13 BY DINDY

Dindy vs lawmaker
Lawmaker: Dindy laws are not meant to be broken.
Dindy: Yes they are!.
Lawmaker: Ok maybe some are meant to be broken.
Dindy: See.....
Lawmaker: But Dindy respect yourself and don't break any rules here.
Dindy: My toilet respected itself now its condition is beyond repair.........lol# crazy dude
#DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 14


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-09-19 08:38:27

157 Views




Jananiya De Drame Te ‘Nike’ De Pajame Saara Saal Chalde Ne!Related

A university student was
asked to give a
speech
on her graduation day, she
said…..
good day lendings and gatel men,
I wanted to thank God for
my mum,
dad, parents, brothers and
sisters, siblings,
cousin, for paying my schools fins, if not
for
them I would have not be a
school
student, I
will seriously thank my great grand father
who
is dead for his support
towards my
SCHOOLING
as a student, I joined cult but I have
already
comot, and also greeting
chineye,
ayomide,
teju, timileyin, ngozi, onyinye, sukurat,
atiku,
tunde, okeke, ifeanyi,
johnny, Paul, and all
my
late student Who I studied in this school, I
thank my VICE CANCERLOR,
for his effort to
of
making me the best
SCHOOLDENT in ENGRISH
RANGUAGE AND TRANSLATON,
I also thank
the
gateman, the HOWSE
KEEPER, I ALSO IN THIS
MINDIUM TO THAN MY DAD
MY MUM AND
MY
PARENTS ONCE AGAIN
thanks .
.
.
abeg which kind of
certificate should be
given to this graduate…?
#BOLLYSHOW™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-16 17:19:23

584 Views




It was 10:30pm in the
evening.charity and i started our
journey to another town.far away to
my own town.the journey lasted 1:30
minutes.by 11:45pm.we came down
from the bus and was strolling down
the street.to no were in particular.on
our way.charity stopped and faced
me.
ME.dear.what is it?
CHARITY.*panting* i can’t continue
this journey any more.
ME.*face her*why.what happened?
CHARITY.i’m tired. hungry and tasty.
ME.hmmm.please don’t give up.lets
go down more.and see if we could
get something to eat and drink.
CHARITY.but were particular are we
going.were are we gonna sleep.what
is the time.?.
I looked at my wrist watch.
ME.11:59 pm.
CHARITY.ooh my God.it’s almost
12.what are we going to do
now.were are we going to
sleep?.please dear.i’m tired of
walking.do something.
ME.yea.you are right.lets go and
lodge in any hotel aroud here for
the main time.
CHARITY.i think that will be better.
We both bought some snacks coz
nowere to buy food.we left for a
near by hotel in that midnight.we
searched for any hotel around for
another 30 minutes.before finally we
saw one hotel called.chucks hotel.
We got there and after some
questions by the security men.we
went inside and met the
receptionist.we paid for a room for
two weeks.she gave us the key to the
room number we paid for and we
left with our bags.
We got inside the room.and the
room was okay.immediately.we ate
and drank the snacks and the soft
drink we bought.the hunger in us
instantly reduced.
CHARITY.let us go and bath.
ME.you mean both of us?.
CHARITY. yea.i’m afraid to go alone.
ME. Alright.i’m with you.lets go.
She removed her clothes and
bra.including her pant.before i could
say any other word.she was
completely naked before me.front
and back.i was staring at her.mouth
open.i don’t know what else to
do.my body was getting the
signal.but i wasn’t in the mood to do
such thing.i have a war waiting for
me.no time to f--k.but if she give
me.hmmm.i go take m o.(body no
be plank na).
Her voice brought me back to life.
CHARITY. hey.are you going to stand
here forever staring at me.remove
your clothe lets go and bath.or are
you shy?.
ME.*clear throat* me shy?no am not
shy.but what i’m seeing is affecting
my thing.sorry i mean my body.
CHARITY. naughty you.lets go jooh.
Without wasting any much time.i
removed my clothe.and together we
went to the bathroom.although my
thing was hard.but i didn’t let her to
see it.her body was tempting too.but
man gat to controll himself.
We bath together.10 minutes
later.after the bath.we went back to
the room together.
She wore one of my shirt and
basketball short. She climbed ontop
of the bed and said.
CHARITY.good night.
ME.*just like that?*
CHARITY.what did you said.
ME.ooh nothing.good night.
She back me.and slept off. I couldn’t
sleep.i was wondering what Jc and
his gang will be doing now.probably
looking for me.or they have gone for
the night operation.i hope my people
are safe.what about Seyi.charity’s
sister.ooh.how am i going to tell
charity that her sister is among the
Jc’s gang.if Seyi eventually found out
that i’m dating her sister.i’m sure
she won’t let that happen.she would
do everything for me to leave her
sister.no criminal would like a follow
criminal to date his/her sister.but
i’m not a criminal na.or am i?.how
long will i continue to hide from
those notorious gang.ooh God.i
need your help more than anything
now.
Check the time it was some minutes
past 3am.charity woke up and saw
me still awake.
CHARITY.baby.you are not yet
sleeping.what is the matter? *she
asked with care*
ME.dear don’t worry.i’m fine.not
really feeling sleepy.
CHARITY.baby is okay.i know how
you are feeling right now.but i want
us to have faith in God.i assured you
that everything gonna be fine.we will
have victory at last.please stop
thinking.okay.
ME.*smiled*okay.thank you.i am
very proud and happy to have
someone like you by my side.i call
you my comforter.
CHARITY.*smiled*thank you darling.i
love you.
ME.i love you more.(kiss her)
CHARITY.please hold me tight. lets
sleep.
I held her as she command.she
smiled and slept off again.still i
couldn’t sleep.sleep was faraway
from me.what a life self.
TBC.


>>

Falling in love [Read it]


I fell in love with my wife at second sight.
The first time I didn't know she had money.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-01 15:45:16

686 Views




BROKEN SEAL 2
Final episode…..
EPISODE 27

Ella: *tears*……
Me: whats the result saying?
Who is the father?
Ella: you are!…..you are the
father of my baby!!!!
Me: are you serious? Lets
see……..wow! Its so more than
positive, i’m a father now, hear
me everyone am a father!
Ella: ssshh….you’ar
embarassing me!
Me: embarass? You have no
slight idea how happy i am.
Ella: am happier than you
are…..finally! We’ve scaled
through all our trying times.
Me: this calls for celebration!
Ella: of course it does.
We left the hospital filled with
joy and happiness, i don’t
think i’ve ever had a cause to
celebrate like this before!
OUR WEDDING DAY
our wedding venue was at our
family mansion in cebu.
Tens of persons were invited-
close friends, families and a
priest.
The priest who officiated the
wedding brought with him the
necessary documents we were
to sign.
It was indeed a blissful and
memorable day for all of us,
even the Angelo family were
present, we were now family
friends just like old times.
The wedding ended.
Its now 9pm, some guest have
departed while others decided
to sleep over.
Ella and i retired to
my…..ooops ‘our’ room.
Ella: wow! We gathered alot of
gifts, i dead curious to know
what we’ve got.
Me: that should be
tomorrow……
Ella: nooo! I want it done now.
Me: aren’t you too tired for
that?
Ella: no am not.
Me: well i am.
Ella: i’d do it myself then……..
Me: it seems you’ar forgetting
something, this is our couple’s
night aren’t we suppose to be
performing some bed stunts?
Ella: whats so unique about
this night?……..sshhh i would
answer that, what is unique
about tonight is the gifts.
Me: you’ar so stubborn, fine
lets do it your way.
Ella: that sounds more like it.
She brought out a basket full
of wrapped parcels, we got rid
of the wrap sheets one after
the other, the gift items ranged
from household utensils to
edible items which Ella didn’t
fail to have a bite of.
One particular item caught my
itention, it was a folded piece
of paper, it look so weird i
mean who would give newly
weds nothing but paper?
Out of curiosity, i unfolded the
paper, a car key glided down,
the paper also had some
written words….
Ella: who gave us a car? Read
the letter lets know where the
car is parked. *smile*
Me: okay….it reads…..
Hi! Isaiah, first of all
congratulations, pls accept my
written felicitations, i just
don’t want you to see me….
Secondly, the key there is
yours, its the key to the car i
bought as a wedding gift for
you.
The car is parked in your
father’s parking lot, a black
hyundai sonata.
I know you’ar are curious to
know who i am, guess it!
Guess it mr Isaiah.
Okay just a hint- Nikspurs.
Yes thats right, i’m Nikky,
Nikky Angelo.
Mum told me about the burial,
glad to say this ‘ you buried
the wrong lady’
I was saved by this charming
young man, he saved me from
the jaws of death, treated me
and had me underwent a facial
surgery, oh yes my face was
damaged by crocodiles, i swear
i would skin them alive.
Joking……
Seriously i was at your
wedding today, i’m even
writing this in your house.
I discovered the truth atlast! I
still can’t believe i share the
same father with my own child!
Nenita must not know about
this, the more reason i would
be flying to canada first thing
tomorrow.
The dude who saved me is
head over heels in love with
me, he is ready to accept
Nenita as his daughter, we are
going to canada with him,
there we would start a new
life.
I realise we were never meant
to be, we have different
destinies….
Don’t bother searching for me,
what i’m i even saying? You
don’t even know what i look
like hahahahaha
i have to go now, bye! I love
you….ooops Agape love i
meant.
Yours lovely Nikky;the only
girl whose prince charming
saved from the jaws of death
and gave a whole new
personality
Ella: oh! I’m so happy for her.
Me: me too…
Ella: so mister do you still need
a slice of that romance cake,
from the sweet bakery?
Me: aaaww i would give up the
whole world for the full cake.
She drew me closer and we got
locked in a hot kiss, heart
tearing romance and brain
exploding pleasures…..you
wouldn’t wanna get details
about that....................................
*************************************
The early the following
morning, Ella and I went to
Nikky’s father house.
Carolyne was glad to tell us
Nikky was alive, though she
told us Nikky had left with
Nenita and her new boyfriend.
Well i was happy for her but i
wished i saw her before she
left.
It was afternoon, its now time
for our flight, Ella and i had
booked a flight for Maimi,
where we would be spending
our honeymoon for the next
six months.
Soon we arrived Maiami beach,
we lodged in a nearby hotel.
Mark had also got his work
back, his employer got news on
how we helped philippine
authorities capture Rodelio.
***ON THE YACHT***
Ella was clad in pink bikini, she
stood at the tip end of the
yacht with her hands wide
spread, she was enjoying the
fresh air.
Me: hey hey! I don’t want you
drawning, not for your saftey
but for my baby’s.
Ella: i’m also your baby!
Speaking of kids, how many do
you want us to have?
Me: six would do.
Ella: six what! Do you plan on
turning me into a baby
factory?
Me: not really, i want my kids
to each bear the initials of my
name I.S.A.I.A.H.
I for Isaac, S for salha, A for
Abraham…..
Ella: oh shut up… *kisses*
Me: hmm…hmmm you would
surely devor my lips before we
leave here, its only two day
and my lips are blood read,
infact, this honeymoon is over.
Ella: with the authority vested
on me, i hereby extend this
honeymoon to 12months
*kisses* *kisses* *kisses*
The E….
No no no before i go, i must
tell you Ella is a wonderful
kisses,,,,sorry i meant
KISSER!!!!
THE END
Thanks for reading,


December prayer [Read it]


If you are above 18 and you are still planning to buy banger these December, then this prayer is for you
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
Receive sense in jesus name


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-08 17:03:28

984 Views



APC CHANGE [Read it]


No Electricity..... APC change
No Fuel......APC change
No Mobile Network......APC change
Dollar Cost.....even aboki wey dey sell KOLA NUT
shout dollar e don cost.....APC change
High School fees.....APC Change
Traffic on our Roads...... APC change
Increase Prices of Food stuff.....APC change
Everything that is happening in our Great Country
Nigeria is cause by our Greed Leaders, they
established in another country while there own is
suffering.
They converted our Great YOUTHS to jobless
and thugs. Their children are schooling in abroad
while our universities tuition fees are high even
poor man can not send their children there, book
haram are killing human beings as if they are
killing goats and rats......they used BILLIONS of
Naira to buy Weapons.....where are the
weapons?, Nigeria is blessed with many Natural
Resources..... where is/are the Revenue
generated from them......we pray, we fast, we
call upon God.....he answer but our leaders are
such GLUTTONS. We are experiencing original
Change ooooo, Nigeria go beta....let our
government tell us the date that Nigeria go beta
ooo.
I don talk my own, oyah talk your own. #Starry


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-06 14:48:24

380 Views




Teacher: What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Akpo: Stress is when wife is pregnant. Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant. Panic is when both are pregnant



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-14 09:20:08

510 Views



Funny Riddle [Read it]


What can you break without touching?

Promise.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-06-10 14:41:54

376 Views




Read it in Rhyme:

Early to bed, early to rise ~ whoever started this shit, fuck you guys.Related

Adolf Hitler took 28 different drugs for his chronic flatulence — Among these were cocaine and amphetamines.Related

I went back to my room the next morning to discovered to
my surprise that all the blood and cream with its container
had disappeared. The girl in whose room I slept had
accompanied me and found it difficult to believe that any of
the things I narrated to her the night before happened. I
stood at the door peering fearfully into the room. “What
exactly did you say happened last night?” The girl asked
staring at me. “My cream turned into blood and I heard a
woman’s voice laughing at me,” I replied. “My dear you must
have been hallucinating,”? she said surveying the room
further. I stood at the door still very afraid to enter. I had
forgotten to return baba’s soap in the hidden corner of my
wardrobe and it lay at the foot of my bed where I dropped it
while escaping to my neighbour’s room. “What is this?” The
girl asked bringing up the bundles of palm leaves with
something wrapped inside. “What is what?” I asked with
mouth agape. I didn’t know where to begin my explanation.
Baba had strictly warned me against another eye seeing the
soap and the consequences that were bound to follow if
they did. I stood still staring at the girl and the palm leaves.
“What is this thing?” The girl asked again staring at me
suspiciously. “My dear I don’t know o,” I replied. “Smells like
soap,” she commented. “Really?” I asked pretending like I
didn’t know. “Please drop it in that waste-bin over there.”
The girl did as I directed and dropped it into the waste-bin.
With anxiety all over my body, I tiptoed to my wardrobe and
wore my blue gown and blue underwear. I was in double
soup and didn’t know what to do so I had to see baba right
away. I hadn’t brushed my teeth nor washed my face but it
didn’t matter to me as much as seeing baba. I hurriedly took
my car keys and walked out of the room. “I will be right
back,” I announced to the girl and locked my door firmly.
“Where to?” The girl asked looking at me suspiciously. “Don’t
worry, I will gist you when I come back,” I replied and left.
The baba laughed at me for complete one hour after I had
narrated what brought me to his shrine. “Baba please what’s
so funny?” I had asked getting irritated. Instead of a reply,
the baba had continued to laugh. “The soap was never
meant to be used after sleeping with a fellow woman,” he
explained tightening his face. “Nature from origin had never
supported man to man or woman to woman s€x and that
soap is not an exception.” I fidgeted uneasily on the seat as
baba unrolled his explanations. “That is offence number
one. Offence number two,” the baba continued. “Is that I
warned you against any other eye seeing that soap and you
failed and your neighbour saw it and not only seeing it but
smelt it too.” “Baba sorry o,” I apologised. “it was because of
that blood issue and the woman’s voice I heard,” I
explained. “You don’t have any excuse,” the baba continued.
“But you never told me that the soap wasn’t to be used after
sleeping with a woman,” I pointed out. “Did you tell me you
were going to sleep with a woman?” the baba asked raising
his brow. “Thought your ashawo bizness was with men alone
which it ought to be. The spirits of my ancestors never
supported man to man or woman to woman fork.” I shook
with fear as the baba made those pronouncements.? “So
what am I to do now?” I asked bursting into tears. “Nothing,
absolutely nothing,” the baba replied shaking his head. “You
have to bear your lot.” That I didn’t collapse that moment
must have been a miracle. I was sweating profusely and
didn’t know what to do. “Go,” the baba commanded. “Go
before the gods get angry. You don’t deserve to stand in this
shrine one more second.” With trembling legs I ran out of
the baba’s shrine and into my jeep. I sat in my jeep for
hours thinking of what to do with no idea forthcoming. At
long last I picked courage and drove back to my lodge. I
couldn’t remain in my jeep crying forever. If eventually I had
come to the end of the road then crying wasn’t going to
change anything. I made up my mind and went back to my
lodge to await whatever was going to come my way…

Could this be her final bus stop?

Pls care to drop your opinion.
I need 30 comments to continue the story

>> Episode 43 -

A lakh time, hate me;

A thousand time, avoid me;

A hundred time, criticise me;

A ten time, make fun of me;

But just one time, love me!Related

Akpos get home at midnight and knocks the door:

Wife: Go back to where you are coming from!

Akpos: Open the door or I will throw myself into the swimming pool!

Wife: Go ahead and kill yourself, do you think I care?

**So Akpos stands near the dark part of the gate and waits for 2 minutes, takes a big stone and throws it into the swimming pool !!!!..Scheweew..!!!!

**Wife hears, opens the door and runs towards the swimming pool. Akpos quickly sneaks into the house then locks the door.

Wife: Open the door or I will shout!!

Akpos: Shout till all the neighbours wake up and come here. Tell them where you are coming from by this time of the night with only a pant and bra!




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-08 13:09:36

774 Views




Doctors after sugery; and students after exams have the same words to say:

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Kuch Keh Nahi Sakte, Bass Dua Karen!Related

I was in church one day when a pastor said, "Tell your neighbour what happened to your neighbour, will happen to you!"

I turned to my neighbour and saw a guy bandaged all over is body, "I just looked at the guy and said, "What happened to you will happen to you again!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-09 10:04:28

402 Views



dis recession [Read it]


if na u which type of purnishment u go give this kind rat.







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-12-08 12:32:12

218 Views




There were three friends that always wanted to play golf every Saturday afternoon, but couldn`t because of their wives objections.

So one day after many years they finally got together on the golf course and were waiting at the first tee when one guy said, “I had to buy my wife a diamond necklace to get to play today!!!”

The second said, “That`s nothing I had to buy MY wife a new sports car to get out here today!!!”

The third said, “Boy you guys are a couple of wimps; I didn`t have to buy my wife anything!!!”

They both looked at him and asked how he managed that!

The smartest of the three said, “It was easy, when I got up this morning I looked her straight in the eye and asked, “Golf course or Intercourse?”

She threw me a sweater and said, “Take this, it might get chilly out there!”Related

These are simple questions and funny answers, logical thinking, on
various occasions, various subjects, and various locations.Enjoy your
time and don't forget you can also add yours.
1.What ended in they year 1919?
Answer:1918- Yes, the year 1918 ended when the New year 1919 begins! Isn't that right?
2.What is the strongest force in d earth?
Answer:LOVE!
3.Why do some Criket players never sweat?
Answer:Becos they av huge fans!
4.Do u know; what is d best thing to put on a delicious cake?
Answer:Your MOUTH!
5.What is d major difference between a bird and fly?
Answer:A bird can fly but a fly cannot bird!
6.What do u say when u find two banana peels together?
Answer:A pair of Slipper
7.Can u tell me how to make an Egg roll?
Answer:It is very simple.Just push it, it will role!
8.Join these two sentences "I was riding to School, I saw a dead body.
The Answer is very funny, I saw a dead body riding to School.
9.Most of d kids love to carry these keys.What are those keys?
Answer:Cookies!
10.A few months av 31 days, a few months has 30 days.How many months have 28 days?
Answer:All months
11.What is d difference between HERE and THERE?
Answer:The letter 'T'
12.Can u make SEVEN an even number?
Answer:YES, Remove 'S' from It...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-06 18:05:27

354 Views




After a long class with Akpors' teacher on comparison , Akpors the class prefect told his class members that he understands that perfectly thereby trying to teach them that every word ends with -er, -est.
It came to notice that Principal and some guests were to visit Akpors class, watch out and see what that happened in the class during the visit.
Teacher : Ok class; let us show the principal and our guests
how
much we have learnt so far this
year! Let’s do comparisons ....
So if I say small, you say small,
smaller, smallest.
[Students nod]
Teacher : Big
Students : “Big, Bigger, Biggest.” ....
Teacher : “clean.”
Students : “clean, cleaner, cleanest.
Teacher : “tall.”
Students : “tall, taller, tallest.
Teacher [smiles] :”very good!!!
Students : “very good, very goodder,
very goodest.
Teacher : “oh gosh.”
Students : oh gosh, oh gosher, oh
goshest!!!
Teacher : “stop it now”
Students : “stop it now, stop it
nower, stop it nowest!!!
Teacher : “oh please.”
Students :”oh please, oh pleaser, oh
please-st..
Teacher : “Look at me..!!!
Students : “look at me, look at me-er,
look at me-est.
Teacher : “what a disgrace!
Students : “what a disgrace, what a
disgracer, what a disgrace-st.
Teacher [furious] : I don die…
Students : I don die, I don dier, I don
diest!!!
Teacher faint!
Is Akpors a good class prefect ? #NECS.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-30 03:59:57

538 Views



The blind man [Read it]


A blind man went to a restaurant .
"Menu sir?" Asked the owner.
"I'm blind. Just bring me one of your dirty forks.. I will
smell it & order."
The confused owner got a fork.

The blind man smelt the fork with a deep breath.
"Yes, I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables
"Unbelievable! " thought the owner.


The blind man ate and left.
2
weeks later, the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to see how good
his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was
cooking.

He said, "Do me a favor and rub this fork over your privates!!", which she does!
He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork.

The blind man takes it, puts it to his nose and says "Oh interesting..!! ! , I never knew Brenda worked here!! :
Owner fainted..


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-08 19:53:00

859 Views




Na so this people, bayo begin bombard me with calls ooo almost every 3 hours forcing me to come and buy e-gold. That it would soon turn to N100. With all that, the pressure was on me and I no come get rest of mind again. Na so I call Abisoko make he borrow me like N5k and Uchenna N7k. At first they refused but I threatened that I won’t help them with their assignment. Them com later cool down. I called folarin and collected their account number and sent it to Uchenna to send their money into it. Na so dem folarin send me $500 in e-gold. Kaiii, I come dey happy say I don hammer. These people are indeed good people. Na so I go put the money for my investment oooo.
Unfortunately, I didn’t come back the Friday I was supposed to. I just wanted to see that my mom’s health improved to a moderate level before leaving her.
The next week, on Wednesday, I was still in Ilorin when uchenna called me that police raided folarin’s office and the guys were on the run. People had begun asking for their money at the place, and it seemed they defrauded people of their money. Immediately he told me that, I just thought.. “Kaiiii, shey I never enter one chance shah.” Uchenna said the place has been locked down for 2 days. Na so I come dey shake. “I don die!” Many thoughts began flying through my mind. “It seemed the enemies from illorin followed me to school. My village witches have succeeded. They knew I was at the edge of making millions and they want to destroy it.” Abisoko and uchenna began mocking and laughing at me and the phone.
I called bayo’s phone number and it was not going. I tried folarin’s own and it was still the same thing. “Chaiii, make e no be say this people don scam me oo,” I thought to myself.
I kept on trying their lines(Bayo and folarin) and they weren’t going through. I kept on trying till I returned to Abeokuta and went to their office and it was locked. It was dawned on me that I had been scammed by those men. When I narrated the case to Adaobi, my former housemate. She said I was lucky enough, that some people, even students invested up to N10,000, N20,000 and some N50,000. So my N5000 still small. Adaobi herslf lost N2000 to them. I just felt they were fraudsters from the pit of hell.
Now to make matters worse, I went on the internet to check my online investment, the website was no longer in existent. The Cyprus based company no dey exist again. I wan log into my e-gold account. And e-gold had been blocked and banned. “This one na one chance.” I felt sad. It looked as if something had gone out of me. I began wondering why those people did what they did to me.
Uchenna and Abisoko laugh me tire. Infact they started disturbing me to pay them their money. “And how I wan take pay?” Na them sef dey sustain me sef.
I waited for days. Days turned into weeks and yet no sign that my investment would be returned or any positive outcome. I never heard from Bayo or folarin again. I later learnt that the American Government frustrated E-gold out of Business. They shut the company down, thereby making people lose their money. “The online investment too don go.” And I began wondering, “later they would say Nigerians are scammer, na dem scam me now.” All my hope of being a millionaire in a shortest time had been dashed. My dream of driving big cars and putting my mom into a comfortable environment has been dashed.
This particular evening, Uchenna called me. He said he was expecting a visitor from Ladoke Akintola university of Technology (LAUTECH) in Ibadan. He said the guy was coming and loaded with cash. And he’s a confirm Yahoo boy with one fine toyota car like that. He said he was just telling me so I won’t invite funke Kpomo lips to the house, because the guy would be staying for 5 days with us and they would probably be bringing in some girls from FCE Osiele and Mapoly to keep us company. The 2 Generator wey we get, Abisoko don go service them. Uchenna also said that at least before the guy leaves, him go roger us small money. “But I began wondering why he would choose to stay with us. If he was that rich, he would have gone to a hotel.” When I talk this, na so my guys laugh. They said it was even a privilege for them that he would be staying there. He wanted to go to a hotel but due to the job they wanted to do together. And it was a very big job. So they begged and forced him to come stay with us. At least them too go benefit some few things from him experience of Yahoo yahoo business.
That evening, na im the guy land. The kind of car he came with, am not a car freak but it was indeed sophisticate. The guy was fresh and clean that I was even scared of having a handshake with him. I felt my hands were dirty, even say I don bath 3 times that day. Looking at the young man, one may think he was just coming from the U.S. But na Ibadan the guy dey. “Money is good,” I thought. He brought 3 laptops, modems and some other things with him. But the one wey fear me pass be say. He came with a gun. A pistol. He said it was for his private use. His name was Gbadeyan but my guys Uchenna and Abisoko called him G-money.
As he just entered the house. Na so my guys on Gen com lock the front door of the parlour, so no outsider will enter into the house.
I thought that, “as the guy G-money from Lautech don come, my guys no go go school again.” And truly, Na only me come dey go school those period. Dem go just stay house with their laptops. Night time, I go join them for car and we go enter Oke ilewo go drink and carry Ashewo come house. And I no dull myself for that one. But I don’t take alcohol. The others do. The We go out at night and bring back women each. The kind of money G-money spends on drink. “I could remember the first night we went to Okeilewo together. I ordered for fresh fish pepper soup of N800. Everyone were laughing at me. “Baba order for better thing nah, G-money will pay. Abi you dey fear?” Gmoney said. I told him that I wasn’t afraid only that I didn’t want to deplet his money. Na so everyone come dey laugh. “Deplete my money keh! U.C (uchenna) omo this your guy go kill person oo,” G-money said referring to me. He said no one can finish his money. That I was very funny for making that statement. “Infact, isoko, slap this guy N5k from that money,” G-money said. He told Abisoko to give N5k. na so the mumu guy(Abisoko) take N5000 slap me for cheeks. “Guy remember say you dey owe me ooo,” Abisoko said as we all laughed. Me collect the N5k put inside pocket.
As days went by, I noticed I was becoming weaker with my everyday sleeping with different women. I struggle to even wakeup. That was not the kind of life I wanted. Three days gone and 3 women gone, I was loving the enjoyment with women which was making me more exposed, but the effects was taking it’s worse turn on me psychologically.
G-money left but not before giving me N12,000. He gave the other guys N20,000 each. First semester result came out. It was impressive. My guys GPA were on 3point while mine was 4.41 and I loved it.
This certain Friday evening, Funke did well for my house. He cooked for us. And my were beginning to call us couples. After everything, I saw off funke. I came back to the house. Uchenna call me to sit. Abisoko was there. At first I was scared why they called me to sit. Many thoughts were flying through my mind. Or have they decided to throw me out!
I sat down. Uchenna began saying that my attitude in the house was unbecoming and he doesn’t like it, even though he was just keeping quiet. As he was saying it, I was still scared. We have never quarreled or fought. I began thinking maybe it was the money I was owning them. Chaiii, if this people pursue me, where I wan go! “Uchenna continued that I was just eating but don’t want to work for the money.” After so many talks. He said he wants us (him, abisoko and me) to work together in the deal he is in. He said Abisoko knows about it but he was just telling me. Abisoko also reminded me of how I was scammed and said it was time for me to join them in the game. “People wey dey inside no get two heads,” Abisoko said. “Even pastors dey scam people with tithes and offerings,” Uchenna said. Dem say make I follow them dey do yahoo yahoo. They also said that that is how G-money them, john and other guys make it big. They don’t work alone. They have their own team so the three of us should team up. Well, I told them I will think about it. “There is nothing to think about. Just decide now,” Abisoko said. Uchenna told him to calm down. He should leave me to think about it.
That night, I had a dream where two of my friends in my previous place of work pushed me into a deep pit and I was shouting and crying, begging them to help me but they refused. When I woke up, I didn’t know the meaning of the dream though I never told anyone.
As days gone by, I was still thinking about the proposal Uchenna and Abisoko made to me. Part of me doesn’t want to, but another part of me said I had no choice because I have been partaking in the proceeds they have been making from their dubious deals, so I was already in and shouldn’t deceive yourself. And indeed I have been eating from the small small money they have been making. And uchenna said they were going for bigger fishes now. They want to hit it big just as G-money and other big players are doing. Another thought also came into my mind. I was born into poverty and still in it, yet no progress. I thought “that might be a greater opportunity for me. I was so innocent doing a good boy while I lost thousands of Naira to oyibo scammers in forex and to dubious folarin and his gang of robbers.” “Why didn’t you take up this thing,” the thought said to me again. “Take it and free yourself and family from bondage. Dem don thief your money tire. Now take their own. After all you have been eating from the ones they have been making.” It is just for a while. After making your money, you leave the business and invest into real and genuine business.” All that where my thoughts. That I will just do it for a while. After making reasonable amount, I go comot.
After all the thoughts, I went to tell my guys that I was ready to partner with them as a team. Abisoko was surprised. He said he thought I would object to the proposal. Abisoko com dey hail me, carry me up oo. Na so Uchenna come tell us say dat no be the main thing. We have to get down to the main business. That they were not waiting for me to agree to their demand. Even if I refused, they would still go on with their plan but they would cut me off everything. They would have even sent me out of the house. Uchenna said he needed me to join so he could have his own team connection like G-money and other guys. Work will be shared among us and when the money comes, we share it among ourselves.
Few days later, uchenna sat me down to put me through some few things and etiquettes of the game. He said my own role would be “Assistance and forwarding”. I would be the one following up their contact in the bank and also doing the withdrawal and distribution of the money we make. He also briefed me how the work would look like. He said he chose me for that area because I was smatter, intelligent and calculative, and I also have a sound retentive memory. So Uchenna and Abisoko would be the ones doing the main work of processing and formatting the maga.
This particular Saturday, Uchenna had gone to Ibadan to visit G-money, Abisoko had gone to Mapoly. Funke came to the house. I had really fallen for her. In as much that my guys didn’t really like her, with the tag of “Funke kpomo lips” they always call her in absent.’ Funke was arranging the parlour when she discovered something, a small calabash.



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Matlabi Duniya Ke Log Khade Hai,

Hatho Me Patthar Lekar…



Mai Kaha Tak Bhagu Shishe Ka Muqqadar Lekar….!Related

A virgin is someone who has never had sexual intercourse or sexual activity.
Virginity In Yoruba Culture
During the traditional era and before the advent of colonialism, virginity was held at high esteem among the Yoruba people. A lady is expected to get married as a virgin as having sexual intercourse before the wedding ceremony is a taboo. This is the reason why the intending couple are not allowed to have close contact or be in the same room with each other before the D-day: thus, the need for an intermediary (Alarina).

Virginity to them is known as ‘Ibale’ and it is the pride of any Yoruba lady to keep hers till her wedding night.The wedding night is usually seen as a frightened day for the bride and her parents. In those days, mothers were fond of asking their daughters about their virginity so as to prevent the shame and disgrace that come with not been a virgin.
On the wedding night, a white cloth is usually given to the couple and the cloth will be spread on their bedding, mostly mats. The parents of both families sometimes stay at the entrance of the house waiting for the cloth to be brought out of the house while some parents will be in their homes expecting result. In this culture, the white cloth is expected to be stained by blood and after the sexual intercourse, if the cloth is stained, it means that the new bride is a virgin. If it turns out that the white cloth is not stained with blood, it signifies that the new bride had been promiscuous and slept with a man before.

A bride that is met as a virgin by her husband will be celebrated while the one that is not will be disgraced and banished from the village. The white cloth (stained or not) will be sent to the bride’s parents. Other items like rotten yam, half-filled matches or empty box of matches, half keg of palm wine will also be sent to them meaning that their daughter was rotten and not complete before she was married. The parents will be publicly blamed for not training their daughter. Grief, sorrow and loud cries will follow suit. Such bride that will sweep the whole village, dance naked in the market’s place before she finally leaves her village. The groom also has the right to divorce such a woman.
On the other hand, if the newly-wed was met as a virgin, the groom’s family will send a full keg of palm wine, full matches box to the bride’s parents indicating that their daughter was complete before the wedding night. She will be praised publicly and her parents will be happy. It is believed that virgins have self-discipline and are well-trained by their parents.
This custom and virginity has many advantages as it prevent the rate of fornication and helps the married women to be faithful with their husbands. Also, many lives have been lost to the act. Some young ladies have committed suicide because of the shame. Highly respected or elders can also commit suicide if their daughter was found to have lost her virginity before her marriage. This tradition is no longer in practice and has eaten deep by colonilisation.

IBALE(VIRGINITY)....ITS ALL ABOUT A MAIDEN FROM HER VILLAGE TO THE UNIVERSITY, SHE KEEPS HER VIRGINITY THROUGHOUT HER LIFE, BUT WHEN SHE GET TO THE UNIVERSITY SHE HAVE TO FIGHT VERY HARD IN ORDER NOT TO LOSE IT BECAUSE IT'S A LAW AND AN OAT MAKE BY THE ANCESTORS AND MUST NOT MISTAKENLY BE BROKEN BY ANY HOW GUY IF NOT THEIR HUSBAND

WILL THE MAIDEN LOSE HER VIRGINITY?
WHO WILL DISVIRGIN HER?
WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF HER SEAL HIS BROKEN?
WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE GUY WHO BREAK IT?
WHAT'S IS BEHIND THE LAW AND THE OAT?
WHAT CAUSES THE LAW AND THE OAT?

STAY TUNE FOR IBALE(VIRGINITY)







NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Facts of life [Read it]


RACISM is when a white BB Bold 6 cost more than a black BB Bold 6.

NEMESIS is when you submit your answer sheet with your expo inside.

LONG THROAT is when you take a girl out on a sunny day and she orders for a hot plate of pepper soup.

A WITCH is that girl that eats nkwobi, fish pepper soup, shawama, suya, chicken, smirnoff, fayrous and when you take her home she says sorry I'm on my period.

OVERSABI is when you are eating salad with a girl and she says, "Honey, this food no done."

OLODO is when you are in a plane with a girl and she says, "Honey I'm hot, can you please roll down the glass."

A HUNGRY CHILD is that kid that sees you eating and says, "My mummy said I shouldn't take food from strangers."

A STUBBORN CHILD is that kid that wakes up in the middle of the night when daddy and mummy are having a good time and says, "Mummy, I want to piss."

STINGINESS is when you finish reading this and you refuse to comment. #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-30 12:52:43

1330 Views




Alex: what is wrong with you?
Luke: nothing;did someone tell you;that something is wrong me?
Alex: don't play smart with me;why didn't you pick my calls?
Luke: sorry about that;i was busy
Alex: busy doing what?
Luke: will you stop patronizing me?what will you take?
Alex: fried rice
Luke: are you sick?do you expect me to go cook that?
Alex: of cause;if you don't who will do it?the last time i check;there is no woman in this house so you will have to do it or get...
Luke: please;i am not just in for that;will all just leave me alone,i am not the only one who is not married in this whole wild world
Alex: of cause;you are the only one
Luke: you are wrong;they are thousand and one boys and girls that are not married like me
Alex: i have heard;just go and prepared it
Luke: i have heard(door bell ringing)
Alex: are you expecting someone?
Luke: not;at all;who is it?
Yemi: is me;Yemi
Luke: Yemi?
Yemi: yes
Luke: i am coming,what is she doing here?
Alex: why answer me?go answer her(he sign and open the gate)
Luke: come on in
Yemi: baby;why are you hurting me?
Luke: i don't get you
Yemi: i though you love me but you don't call or text. are you tired of me?
Luke: is because i don't...
Alex: he doesn't have time
Yemi: Alex
Alex: i came here because is like ages we meet
Yemi: is that true baby?is that what you wanted to say?(Alex cut his eyes for him)
Luke: yes
Yemi: thank you baby;lets go on a date
Luke: i don't have money and time for that
Yemi: don't worry i wouldn't buy anything much
Luke: so you even have plans of buying?i am going,i will give you...
Alex: come on;i will treat you two
Yemi: really?
Alex: of cause
Luke: then you two should go,i don't feel like
Alex: don't be naught(he dragged him)
Luke: alright;fine,i will change to something nice
Alex: thank you(exit Luke)how are you?
Yemi: am good
Alex: alright;lets wait for Luke
Yemi: okay(curtain)


Darling: today;will be a lot of catching up
Vivian: why?
Darling: is like ages we meet together like this
Vivian: that is true;where in God's is that stupid girl?(enter Loveth)
Loveth: sorry;i am late. i have to take mom to the airport
Darling: is she travelling?
Loveth: yes;she had gone to meet her husband
Vivian: you will be lonely again
Loveth: i prefer being lonely than to be with her.
Darling: why?she used to be your best friend
Loveth: back then yes but this last few weeks is like i am loosing my breath with her constant reminder of getting married(they both laughed)what is funny?
both: go get married
Loveth: you two are crazy
Darling: but not as crazy as you;who want to stay single all her life
Loveth: hold it;i am just 26;is not like am 40 or 50
Vivian: now i see you have brain problem;so you want to tell us;that you are praying to get to that age and still remain single?you are unbelievable
Loveth: will you all just let me be
Darling: no one is holding you;just go ....
Loveth: if i don't get married;is it not my problem?if i remain single all my life;is my business right?
Darling: people will laughed at you
Vivian: and i don't want that for you
Loveth: is not people that will laughed at me but you that i called my friend
Vivian: what is wrong with you?
Loveth: i am out of here
Darling: will you come here?
Loveth: maybe next time but today i am out(she walked away)
Darling: what is wrong with this girl?
Vivian: let her go;if she want to die single good for her
Darling: don't say that;she is our friend
Vivian: a friend that doesnt want to take advice is not a friend
Darling: that is enough;lets just go Vivian: of cause;i just loss my appetite(curtain)


Luke: (to himself)life is so bored;i don't know why today have to be off for me. what do i do now?i do not want to call Alex because everything in his head now is marriage;he is beginning to sound like a broken record like my mom. what do i do now?(he wanted to pick his phone but he pick the handkerchief given to him by Loveth)whoa!(enter Monica and Muriel)i wonder was your name?(to the handkerchief)funny girl;i wish i could see her again but this time before anything i will answer her name and number. will you stop Luke don't tell me....(he looked up)mom;Monica,what are you two doing here?
Muriel: who where you talking to?
Luke: no one;no one;i was just thinking aloud
Muriel: are you sure?
Luke: yes mom;mom why are you with her?
Monica: we met at the supermarket;so i decided to help her take her things home
Luke: what about your driver mom?
Muriel: i told him to go home
Luke: mom;why did you do that?who will take you home?
Muriel: i wanted to show your wife where you live?
Luke: mom;please she is not even my girlfriend talk more of my wife
Muriel: you once dated her that means you used to love her
Luke: mom;you said it all;i used to but i don't like her anymore
Muriel: what us it with you?Yemi no and now this. if you don't want to get married i will no long asked you
Luke: better
Muriel: you are a liar;you must get married and Monica is the one
Luke: mom;please
Monica: please font insult me;i am only here because your mom insist not because i want you back
Luke: i am sorry
Monica: keep your stupid sorry to yourself;i am sorry ma;i have to leave
Muriel: you don't have to;he said he is sorry
Monica: i can't ma;please forgive me but i have to go(she walked away)
Muriel: you see what you cause
Luke: mom
Muriel: get lost(she walked away also)
Luke: just tired of all this people;i don't know if they just want me to walk up to any girl and tell her to marry me;when i don't love her(enter Alex)
Alex: my personal brother
Luke: you are here too?
Alex: of cause;you font want to see me?
Luke: not really;i was really bored and mom just make it worse by bringing Monica here
Alex: how did your mom;get to know her?
Luke: i introduce both of them
Alex: your mistake
Luke: i know
Alex: let go out and have fun(he saw the handkerchief)you and this your handkerchief girlfriend;is like this one is different
Luke: of cause
Alex: meaning you two have meet again?(he brought out three)
Luke: this was the first day;second and the third day
Alex: whoa!is like she is going to be romantic. what is her name?
Luke: uh...um...
Alex: is okay;you don't know her name. she didn't tell you or you didn't asked?
Luke: assuredly;i was just carried away....
Alex: if i were you the next time i see her;i will just tell her i love you
Luke: you are sick
Alex: i know but you don't know you are in love with that girl
Luke: you sick;lets just go and have fun
Alex: you won't believe until you start dreaming of her
Luke: naught boy(at an eatery)i like coming here because their food is tasteful
Alex: i wonder if your wife will be able to satisfy you?
Luke: of cause she will(enter Loveth)look over their that should be her
Alex: should be?you are not even sure
Luke: i am sure;i will call her Alex: you don't even(enter Jude)know her name(enter Yemi)
Luke: will you stop messing with my brain?young lady(she turned)
Loveth: you;(she smiled and start walking towards him)
Jude: babe(he held her by the waist)
Luke: who is that boy?
Alex: her boyfriend of cause
Luke: she doesn't have a boyfriend;she told me so
Alex: you are at it again;she told you so and you believe her?
Loveth: will you let me go(she pull herself from him)get out of here
Jude: i won't (he pull her closer and Luke stood up)
Alex: where are you going?
Luke: can't you see he is assaulting her
Alex: is it your business
LUKE: yes(he walked towards them)
Loveth: i said let me go
Jude: if i don't what will you
Loveth: then i will scream
Luke: hey(Yemi stood in front of him)
Yemi: sweet heart(she kissed him and Loveth saw it)how are you doing?
Loveth: come on lets get out of here(she dragged him out and they went away)
Luke: are you sick?(he dragged her back to their table)do you know what you just did?
Alex: what is going on?
Luke: asked her;she just ruin everything for me just now
Yemi: will you calm down?its embarrassing
Luke: i don't think so;that shameful act of yours is embarrassing not my yelling
Alex: will you stop
Luke: i should stop?fine then tell her to stop flirting and kissing men unnecessarily. excuse me(he walked away)
Alex: what is wrong with you?why did you kissed him?
Yemi: nothing;why is he barking like a dog?
Alex: is simple;he doesn't like it
Yemi: why won't he?i was there;when you were teasing him over a strange girl that kissed him but he didn't do anything
Alex: that is different
Yemi: it is in deed;he already knows me so it is me that he is not suppose to be mad at...
Alex: suit yourself;i am out of here
Yemi: i am leaving as well




TO BE CONTINUED


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Ugly Woman [Read it]


An Ugly Fat Woman With Two Kids Enter Shoprite,Shouting Angry At The Kids With No Reason...
The Man At The Reception Say Cheerfully To Her "Good Morning And Welcome To Shoprite,,,Cute Kids Are The TwinsThe Horrible Woman Stopped Shouting Just Enough To Say "Hell They Are Not Twins The Older Is 9 And The Other Is 7!Are You Blind Or Just Stupid...?
"No Madam...Im Neither Blind Nor Stupid,, I Just Cant Get That There Is A Man Out There Who Had Sex With You Twice...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-02 10:03:16

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