Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:

confession [Read it]


Akpos and Ochuko were drinking palm
wine together. Ochuko said,"Akpos, I have
a confession to make."Akpos asked,"What
is it?"Ochuko said,"Last week, I slept with
your wife. I am sorry."Akpos shouted,"You
slept with my wife?!" Ochuko said,"Please forgive
me."Akpos
cooled down and said,"What are friends for?
I forgive you."The following week, Ochuko
was furious that someone had harvested all
his crops in his farmland. During their
drinking time in the evening, Akpos said to
Ochuko,"Ochuko, I have a confession to
make."Ochuko asked,"What is it?"Akpos
said,"I was the one who harvested all your
crops. I am very sorry I did that."Ochuko,
after getting angry, said,"What are friends
for? I forgive you."Two weeks later, they
were drinking palm wine together when Ochuko
said to Akpos,"Akpos, I have a
confession to make."Akpos asked,"What is
it?"O
chuko said,"I poisoned your drink because I
was angry with you. Please forgive me.
Akpos said,"So you poisoned my drink? Anyway
what are friends for? I forgive
you. I also have a confession to make."
Ochuko asked,"What is it?"Akpos said,"I am
sorry! I exchanged our drinks. Please
forgive me!".


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-06 01:48:04

547 Views




A man who bed-wets went to see a
psychiatrist.
PSYCHIATRIST: "Does a dream usually precede
your bed-wetting? Tell me how it happens."
MAN: "A little demon appears to me in my
sleep and says, "Oya, let us pee". Then, I wake
up to see the bed wet with my urine."
PSYCHIATRIST: "This is what you must do. If
the demon comes tonight and tells you "let us
pee", just reply him that you have already
peed."
The man left and returned the following day
with tears streaming down his face.
PSYCHIATRIST: "Why are you weeping? Didn't
my therapy work?"
MAN: "Walahi, you have worsened my case!"
PSYCHIATRIST: "What? How?"
MAN: "When the demon came, I told him I'd
already peed. Then he said, "Oya, let us shit!. #FunnyJokesOnly #B-goF #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-08-20 12:37:12

569 Views




JOKE PART 70 BY DINDY
.
Teacher: Dindy, you naughty boy stand up!.
:.......
Dindy stands up.
:.......
Teacher: I have told you severally not to interrupt me when I talk.
Dindy: I'm sorry sir.
Teacher: Shut up!.
Teacher: Now anything I say, reply "Me".
Teacher: Who's mum and dad gave birth to a child with no future and is standing up right now.
:......
Dindy smiles wickedly then replies
:......
Dindy: You sir!......
DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 71.









NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-12-17 22:15:13

223 Views




Comedy of errors :
A man checked into a hotel. There was a
computer in his room, so
he decided to send a mail to his wife. he
accidentally typed d wrong
email address, and without realizing he sent the mail to a widow
who has just returned from her
husband's funeral. The widow
decided to check her mail, expecting
condolence messages from
relatives and friends. After reading d first message she fainted. The
son rushed into d room, found his
mother on the floor and saw d
computer screen which read:
'to my loving wife, i knw u are surprised
to hear from me, they hv computers here and we are allowed to
send mails to loved ones. I
've just been checked in. How are u and
d kids, d place is realy
nice but am lonely here. I hv made
necessary arrangement 4 ur arrival 2morrow. Expecting u darling. I
can't wait to see u.
Laugh away Ur loss jaree.
HAPPY SUNDAY 2U ALL.
#BOLLY_SMART™®


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-12-18 12:57:40

497 Views




You know, there is no greater insult than a rejected high five.Related

Banta: What are a married man’s two greatest assets?

Santa: A closed mouth and an open wallet!Related

A man and his nagging wife were on holiday in
Jerusalem, when the
wife suddenly died. The funeral company told the
man that it would cost $45,000 to ship her home
or $500 to bury her in Jerusalem. The husband
said, “Ship her home.”
Shocked, the undertaker asked,
“But sir, why don’t you bury her in the Holy Land
and save the money?” To which the husband
replied, “A long time ago, a man was buried here
and 3 days later, he rose from the dead…. I can't
take THAT RISK!” #B-goF


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-19 19:30:36

497 Views




Pappu: I picked up my girlfriend from the police station. She’d been mugged, raped and beaten up.

Bunty: It’s pretty sad.

Pappu: But I fail to understand, why she went to the Police Station in the first place!Related

“Beta, tumhe koi ladki pasand hoto batao, hum shadi kara denge”

“sach?”

“Haan, bas ladki apne caste ki, gori aur hume pasand aani chahiye”Related

Bra Ki Mehak Churai Nahi Jati;

Panty Ki Jhalak Chupai Nahi Jati;

Kitni Bhi Chothi Ho Ladki Ki Mosambi;

Ek Bar Choos Lo To Bhulai Nahi Jati!Related

History lesson [Read it]


TEACHER: Wat happened in 1809?.. 
AKPOS: Abraham Lincoln was born.. 
TEACHER: Wat happened in 1819?.. 
AKPOS: Abraham Lincoln was 10 years old


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-09 06:26:33

209 Views




You should run faster than your competitors, if you don’t want them to step on your toes.

~ JD GhaiRelated

Be satisfied with what you have, but never with who you are.Related

Me: what happened again Ezekiel, is it because of this issue you brought Esther here again?
Ezekiel: Is not my fault Alfa, she said she wanted to be sure that our secret is safe with you
Esther: Alfa please, help us keep this as a secret
Me: I already sworn with the holy quran that nobody will hear it from my mouth, not even Ismaeel. My word is always my bond not to talk of using the quran just to affirm all what i saw tonight never happened according to me.
Esther: Thanks so much Alfa….
Ezekiel: Ya Alfa, had it been you always do like that, i would have love we go out tonight just to enjoy ourselves but i know you don’t do like that
Me: like what? I don’t do anything ooo..please i want to pray
Ezekiel: You never pray finish Alfa? You wan wait collect answer from God tonight?
Me: Prayer is never too much Ezekiel
Esther: Lets go jhoor..bad boy, you think everybody go be like you wey dey fuccck hin senior?
Ezekiel: everybody will never be like me that will fuccck his senior and always make her ask for more
Me: abeg you guys should go, i want to pray….
Even though there was no prayer in my plan, i had to use that to send them out of my room as i believe i have had enough of the bad words for the night. After a while, it was past 10, Ezekiel had delayed me with their issue that i didn’t know that time has gone like that and i was seriously hungry because i didn’t eat in the afternoon. I went to the kitchen to prepare eba and warm stew but it was a surprise i saw Esther preparing food in our kitchen…in fact the rice she was cooking was almost done by the time i stepped onto the kitchen
Esther: You just want to cook tonight Alfa, its late ooo
Me: Hunger came in not quite long so i decide to come to the kitchen
Esther: hey yah…your rice is part of what i even cooked
Me: my rice ke? No oooo…….dont feel like eating rice thank you
Esther: No ooo Alfa, so am offering you food for the first time ever and you are rejecting it
Me: “if not what happened tonight, have you ever offered me food before” No…dont worry, i will prepare eba now
“Ezekiel walked in”
Ezekiel: whats up baby (held her by the buttock, kissed her and she responded)
Me: Alfa said he is not eating our food oooo
Ezekiel: why will he said so, dish his food and go and drop it in his room jhoor and don’t allow him light the stove ooo
They both held me into ransom, she dished my food and took it to my room and didn’t allow me to lit the stove. I was forced to eat the food that night and i seriously enjoyed it even though i was scared of poisoning but my mind was off it because they dished it from the pot in my presence.

>>

A Hollywood director was shooting a big budget movie on location in the desert. One day an old Indian came up to him and said, “Tomorrow rain.”


And sure enough the next day it rained.


A few days later, the old Indian appeared on set again, sidled up to the director and said, “Tomorrow storm.”


And sure enough, the following day there was a fearful storm which brought a temporary halt to filming.


The director was hugely impressed by the old Indian’s weather predictions and told his secretary to put the tribesman on the payroll. However, after a number of other successful forecasts, the Indian didn’t show for three weeks. Then the director sent for him.


The director said, “I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow and I’m relying on you. What is the weather going to be like?”


The old Indian shrugged his shoulders, “Don’t know. Radio broken.”Related

The fact that different guys pick you up every
friday
night does not make you a big girl.
The fact that you wear all the latest clothes in the
market does not make you a big girl.
And of the fact that you use the latest phone and
different guys pay money into your account does
not
make you an actual big girl.
It does not even make you smart! You are only
wasting away your FUTURE!
A big girl is a girl who uses the brain in her head.
She
is not the one who flirts with all the rich men men
around her.
She is the girl who respects her relationship and
marriage.
She is every man's queen, decently dressed.
A big girl respects the value of womanhood... She
carries herself with dignity.
Stop boasting about the number of men you've
slept
with my dear.... Remember, cheap articles have
more
patronizers.. Build yourself into the woman
people
will always respect and admire. Never follow men
who will make a mess of your life.
Be bold but humble, be Godly.. Be hardworking,
be
ambitious but contented.. Don't make men a
priority
in life.. Real men will seek you!
Build yourself into the woman men will always
want
to take home to their mamas.. Not the one they
only
want to take to hotels and clubs. TRUST ME, if you
just trap a man with your body, he'll go one day.
Work on your character, let God be your
foundation,
That is a Big Girl!
Do You Agree? YES or No?



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-10 21:25:00

252 Views



100 Bricks [Read it]


Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a
closed room with an open
window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room
and close the door. Leave
them alone and come back after 6 hours and then
analyse the situation. If they are counting the bricks. Put them in the
accounts department. If they are recounting them. Put them in auditing. If they have messed up the whole place with the
bricks. Put them in
engineering. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange
order. Put them in planning. If they are throwing the bricks at each other. Put
them in operations. If they are sleeping. Put them in security. If they have broken the bricks into pieces. Put them
in information technology. If they are sitting idle. Put them in human resources. If they say they have tried different combinations,
yet not a brick has been
moved. Put them in sales. If they have already left for the day. Put them in
marketing. If they are staring out of the window. Put them on
strategic planning. And then last but not least. If they are talking to each other and not a single
brick has been moved,
congratulate them and put them in Executive
Management. #No com mit me if ur company go bankrupt oooo #All nah Joke #lobatan #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-12 11:04:11

535 Views




They all stepped out of the room, i
started wondering what was happening
but i couldn’t give any explanation, even
if i said i should run away, will i go out
Unclad? Won’t people see me as a mad
person and the fact that i didn’t even know where i was and does not know
what was happening outside. I peeped from the door and could hear
noise of people talking and music
blasting from the sitting room, i could
feel the smell of cigarette around the
house, i quickly ran back to the bed
when i heard foot step approaching the room. Two of the ladies entered the
room with a bowl of Rice, one bottle
water and two tin of milk with a cup…I
could see traces of gun by the side
pocket of one of them
Lady One: This is your food oga
Lady Two: At least you need to enjoy your last super before going to your creator
Me: Please i don’t want to die
Lady One: SK, he said he doesn’t want to die
SK: You are not dying now..the time for you to die is not now….you will still
enjoy yourself to the fullest before meeting your ancestor…. You need to
give her special treat Opa
Opa: Special treat as how? Me i no get time for nonsense oooo.. if not for una, i
for don waste this nonentity from the first day self
SK: No be so…u know say na mama still dey arrange now..its her game so we
need to give her the honour
Opa: Oga, your food is ready..come and eat
Me: Am not hungry..please am okay
Opa: You are not hungry? E be like say
craze dey your head abi? Or you want
make i sample you…abi u think say the
stick wey i carry na toy? No be play play
oo…me i no get time for this nonsense ooo
SK: Take am easy abeg Opa: wetyn i go take easy? After i suffer
myself go get food for this idiot
SK: No worry…he will eat now SK moved closer to the food, opened the
tin milk, pour them inside the cup, pick
the spoon inside the rice and took two
spoon from the plate, took a meet also
and stepped it down with water and
pushed the remaining one to me…I collected it from her and started eating
Opa: So, you no wan die abi? SK: “laughing”..if to say na you nko? You
go trust anybody in this kind of situation?..the guy dey fear for hin life now
Opa: Person wey never see death wey
dey fear..when the death come nko?
Wetyn hin go do?
SK:lolzzz..i just hope we can conclude
this transaction latest by weekend cos
we need to move on to the next thing “Mary walked in”
Mary: I hope he is cooperating?
Opa: Who born am wey hin no dey
cooperate
Mary: Snakie my husband……please eat very well oooo
SK: mama, you can see he is eating
Opa: I just wish we finish this
transaction tonight Mama
Mary: Not so soon Opa, weekend is very close here.. don't let us be in a haste “started coughing”
Opa: You better drink water before you
killed yourself “SK passed me the milk which i drank” Mary: babes, abeg lets go continue our
enjoyment, we will come and check on the motherfucker later in the day… we need to let him rest for his work tonight



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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The boy, Felix Uzonna, was a quiet boy.

He was nothing like the other Zoo boys that scream and run about the class, telling jokes and calling each other animal names.

There was an ugly boy everyone called Mandrillus leucophaeus. A short round girl called a sea cow and a tiny talky one called a mole rat.

There was also a small aggressive girl called a jackal and a very short boy called Cricetomys gambianus.

Whatever you do or say in class instantly lands you with a Zoo name!

The Zoology lectures were different too. Often, the lecturers joined the students in the jokes and name calling so that classes easily turned noisy, and fun.

Adaku often joined in the jokes too. Not all UNIZIK students might have thought so, but she considered her department the most enjoyable in the entire school.

Because Felix had stood out with his quietness and transparent reading glasses, Ada was quick to notice him.

This attraction was spurred only by curiosity. A Zoo boy that behaved nothing like a Zoo boy.

She’d sat with him in the same seat at the induction meeting. That was her first encounter with him.

She had said hi as he shifted for her to sit and he returned it.

But it was when the class went frenzy after the lecturer announced that all new students would wear red to the induction that Adaku turned to really look at the boy.

While the other boys laughed and made jokes about the unusualness of the color red for such an event, Felix’s eyes, framed by his transparent glasses, remained on the open text book in his front: Integrated Principles of Zoology.

It didn’t surprise Ada so much that he seemed to be the only one that had bought the big textbook.

When she’d asked Mary what textbooks she would advise they buy, Mary had hissed in unconcern and said, ‘Which textbook? My dear, the most important thing is the hand-outs and past questions. They are all you need to pass.’

Because her father had already given her money for the books, she went to the bookshop near Royal Sound and bought Advanced Biology.

‘What do you think?’ she asked Felix.

The boy glanced at her. ‘What about?’

‘Wearing red to the induction.’

‘The lecturer said it signifies blood hence life.’

‘So you are okay with it?’

‘I’m more concerned about the significance.’

‘I don’t get.’

‘If I’m asked to represent life with a color, red is the last thing I’d use.’

Adaku’s lips remained open longer than she intended. ‘What color would you rather use? Green?’

‘Green is envy, red is passion. I’ll use blue.’

Adaku’s face twisted slightly in surprise. ‘Blue?’

‘Yes. Blue.’

Her eyes remained on him for some time. ‘What is your name?’

‘Felix. Yours?’

‘Ada.’

‘Ada, are you an ada?’

‘Yes.’ She somehow liked the sound of that, might be the way he’d said it. He spoke English like a Professor who an evil witch somehow magically turned back into a student.

‘Nice to meet you, Ada,’ Felix said.

‘Same here.’

He closed his textbook and stood. ‘Let me get to the library.’

Adaku nodded. Her eyes remained on him till he disappeared out of the class.

***

Back in the hostel, she was peeling yam in the tiny space in her room that was designated for cooking when she heard a knock on the door. ‘Who is that?’

‘It’s me!’

She opened the door and it was Debby.

‘Please give me two packs of Indomie,’ she said. ‘I will buy and give you back when Mama Onyinye opens.’

Ada stared at her. She wondered if it was hunger that had made her eyes look swollen. ‘Have you been sleeping?’ she asked.

‘Yes.’

‘Did you go to school at all?’

‘No. Please give me the Indomie first.’

She opened her cupboard and brought out two yellow noodle packs. ‘I’m making yam porridge,’ she said, extending the packs.

‘Wow, cool!’ Debby took the packs hurriedly from her. ‘Let me hold my stomach with the Indomie first.’

As she hurried out of the room, Adaku wondered if classy girls ate Indomie too.

And what was the stupid story about Mama Onyinye’s shop not being open. Even if one came out by midnight, that woman would still be in her shop ready to sell.

***

That same night she was reading—flipping through the pages of her Advanced Biology, searching for interesting coloured pictures— when a knock came on the door.

‘Come in!’

The door whined and went back, letting in Candy and Debby.

Surprisingly, she did not feel the slight discomfort she usually felt when they come into her room. She found herself nearly pleased they’d come.

They sat on the bed and she dished out the porridge she’d prepared on separate plates for them.

Candy requested for a fork instead of the spoon she brought the food with.

Ada watched the way she held the fork upright, taking the yam in tiny bits, as though it was something more sophisticated than yam she was eating. The slow movement of the fork, her sluggish chewing, all did not show she was eating yam, ordinary yam porridge.

‘Babe, you really can cook o,’ Debby said, her voice low from chewing.

Adaku smiled. At least, unlike Candy, she ate normally, with spoon and life.

She did not like that she’d called her babe though. The name made her feel different, as though she’d become like them, the girls who regularly missed lectures, wore bum shorts to the road and kept numerous boyfriends.

Candy dropped her plate; more than half the food was still on it. She took the sachet of water in a plate nearby and drank from it.

She drank so little, as though it hadn’t been yam she ate. ‘Ada, we have found a name for you,’ she said, casually, like Ada had known all along that they’d been searching for a name for her.

‘A name?’ Ada said, slight confusion and one other emotion on her face.

‘Yes, something befitting of our class.’

‘I don’t understand.’

Debby dropped her own plate and said, ‘Ada, I think you will like the name’, and then, ‘Thanks for the food’.

‘Which name? My name is Ada.’

‘You can keep Ada for your village people,’ Candy said. ‘From now on, your name is Berry.’

Adaku burst into laughter.

Surprise came over the two girls.

The laughter lowered and then she restarted it again.

Finally she halted, clutching her chest. ‘Wait, did you just say my new name is Berry? Berry, isn’t that the name of a fruit?’

Candy crossed her legs. ‘The fruitier the better, my dear.’

‘Don’t you like the name?’ Debby asked.

‘Please, if the problem is English, I have an English baptismal name.’

Candy rolled her eyes. ‘Which is?’

‘Agatha.’

Now it was the girls’ turn to laugh and they really did.

Then Candy suddenly got rid of her smiles and turned serious in the face. ‘From now on your name is Berry, take it or leave it.'

Adaku wondered if that was an order.

‘Now let’s move on to your mode of dressing,’ Candy went on.

Adaku looked over herself. ‘What about the way I dress?’

‘Nothing is wrong with it,’ Debby said. ‘But, Ada—’

‘Berry!’ Candy screamed.

‘Yes, Berry, dear,’ Debby corrected. ‘You need improvement. Your dresses are all so loose and long and full of space.’

‘I like the way I dress,’ Ada said.

‘We know you do, but society don’t,’ Debby said, tone now advisory.

‘Who is society?’

‘Ada, this is higher institution.’

‘So?’

‘What is wrong with this girl sef?’ Candy said. She uncrossed and crossed back her legs.

Adaku wondered if she was now angry, if it was now time to hold her by her thin shoulders and push her out of her room.

‘Ada, listen to Candy,’ Debby said. ‘It’s for your own good.’

Now Adaku confirmed it. Debby hadn’t always been like this. She was converted. There might have been a time she came to the hostel, fresh and natural, before they had her brain twisted.

‘Thanks to both of you but I think I can take care of myself,’ she said.

‘Fine!’ Candy stood. ‘Fine! Debby, let’s go, biko! Ana agwo mgbada ibi o na eto afor.’

Adaku’s eyes flew wide.

Didn’t she say it at the beginning that this girl must have come from Nsukka!

They left the room and she went back to her book.

She couldn’t read still and now even the pictures seemed to have lost their appeal. She slapped the big text book closed and fell to her mattress.

The next morning, she wore her jean trousers out, the one that hugged her curvy frame tight and caused nearly every man to turn to stare.

As she stepped out of her room, the bucket nearly fell from Debby’s hand.

She dropped the bucket and stood still there, staring at her as she sashayed away.

***

The boys got to Ojuelegba Under Bridge in the evening.

The area was as busy and noisy as always.

Shops were sandwiched in-between shops.

Bike men and tricycles struggled for passage with bigger-bodied cars and buses.

Hawkers screamed out whatever products arranged on their trays.

Conductors hanging on yellow buses screamed too: ‘Ikeja-Palmgrove!’

‘Ketu-Ojota!’

Ahanna dropped his Nike sports bag to retie his shoe lace. He checked and saw that one of the soles was starting to come off again. The four-year-old piece might not survive another cobbler visit.

‘Follow me,’ he said to Obinna, lifting his bag again.

Obinna hugged his own Ghana-must-go tighter as they waded through the crowd.

Ahanna had told him Ojuelegba was better than Oshodi but to him, Ojuelegba was just like Oshodi, if not worse.

But what Ahanna had meant was that it was easier to live under Ojuelegba flyover than under the one in Oshodi where the boys would keep harassing you for months till you blend in.

He followed Ahanna by the steps. He seemed to know his way around.

Underneath the massive overpass, they walked to the foot and put their bags in the corner.

They then covered them with dirty cloth. When the evil-eyed boys come, they would mistake it for a mad man’s trash and walk away.

They hung around waiting for the city to quieten.

Ahanna bought two sachets of ‘pure water’ and a loaf of Agege and they shared.

From where they sat at a corner near one of the flyover piers, Obinna heard a woman scream, ‘Barrow! Wheel barrow!’

He ran to the woman and lifted her big basket before any of the barrow boys already running towards them could come close enough.

The woman pointed when she got to her shop space. ‘Gentle!’ she said as Obinna bent to lower the basket to the ground.

Probably it was because of how gentle he’d handled the basket that the woman gave him N200 and asked him to go with the N50 change.

‘Nwanne-Nwanne!’ Ahanna called him with a smile when he returned.

***

Lagos must have been tagged the city that never sleeps because of Ojuelegba. At past 10, everywhere still looked alive and bustling.

In fact, it appeared to Obinna that the area got busier with each hour that passed. There were shops that seemed formerly closed that were open now.

Or maybe it was because of the bright lights now shining from them.

Headlights of commercial buses scrawled the entire area with yellow.

They passed time by walking around, sitting on raised platforms in front of shops and calling hawkers over and pretending to buy.

Finally, it was past 12 and everywhere was calm.

Most of the shops were closed now, yellow bulbs hanging from their tops still shining.

The road was freer now too. Now there was an interval after one car passed before another would come.

A few people still sauntered around.

Obinna needed not ask Ahanna to know that most them were people like them, people without homes.

Flyover residents.

They walked to where their bags were. They spread wrappers on the ground and used their bags as pillows.

In a short while, Ahanna was already snoring beside him.

Obinna could not sleep.

He tried all he could but his eyes still always found a way to open, more active than they had earlier been.

He wished he could just develop wings and fly back to Anambra now, to the comfort of the spring bed in his room.

Not utterly exquisite so saying, but quite very relaxing.

His mother would have made a delicious soup.

He pictured himself on the slanting back chair in the backyard veranda, awaiting her with the tray.

He would hear a noise from the kitchen, a crinkling of the zinc door or the knocking sound of a spoon dropping, and quickly washed his hands.

Like his father when he was alive, he moulded fufu like it was art.

His forefinger worked together with the thumb to carve out just the right size, and then with the other fingers it is rolled into a smooth round ball, very easy to swallow.

He clapped around his ear to drive a mosquito. He turned to face up, his eyes wide open at the darkness.

Back into his mind, he thought about what he would do after a nice evening meal like that.

He would wash his hands well. He would use Dettol the soap to wash his hands, and the liquid to have his bath.

Inside his room, he would press a tiny amount of Close-Up into his mouth and spray his armpits and groin area with Brut.

He would wear clean boxers.

‘Mama, I’m coming,’ he would say, dashing off before his mother could look up to ask him where he was going smelling like a bride.

Since they were small, the avocado tree at the back of her house had always been their meeting place.

Most times, Ada didn’t come on time and he had to whistle.

She intentionally did so, making him to wait, testing to see how long he could wait.

Once, she’d come to the edge of their wall and in feigned male voice, growled, ‘Who is there?’

Obinna ran away.

There was a day she deliberately shut her ears to the whistles and did not come.

He whistled and whistled, but she did not come.

When he got home, he lay on his bed and folded himself.

He thought about her, briefly about why she did not come and then what would have happened if she had.

Slowly, the veins of his organ filled with blood and it rose, steadily, till it was almost pushing off the single button of his boxers.

He slipped his hand in and pulled the fit organ out. He thought deeply of her, the past moments they’ve shared together and freed himself.

But now, under the mighty Ojuelegba Overpass, as he thought of her, his organ did not rise.

He only wished she would somehow appear magically beside him so that he would hold her firm to himself and sleep with his head resting on her bouncy breasts.

That must be the only way his eyes could ever close in sleep in a place like this.

Far into the silent night, his earlier thoughts metamorphosed into pictures in his mind and he did not know when he pulled Ahanna close and held him tight.

Ahanna’s snores quietened and then died out.

He came awake and slapped him on the head. ‘Nwokem, face the other way,’ he said. ‘This is not Ore’s room.’

In the morning, as he searched for his toothbrush, he saw something in his bag.

To Be Continue

Pls if you had sacrifice 20min reading this story, pls care to sacrifice 1min to drop a comment.




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naughty kids [Read it]


Teacher: How old is your father?
Kid: He is 6 years.
Teacher: What? How is this possible?
Kid: He became father only when I was born.
Logic!!Children Are Quick and Always Speak Their Mind
TEACHER:Yusuf, go to the map and find North America .YUSUF:Here it is.
TEACHER:Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Yusuf.
TEACHER:Waleed, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
WALEED:You told me to do it without using the tables..
TEACHER:Amir, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
AMEER:K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER:No, that's wrong
AMEER:Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
TEACHER:Rislan, what is the chemical formula for water?
RISLAN:H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:What are you talking about?
RISLAN:Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER:Mukhtar, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
MUKHTAR:Me!
TEACHER: kabiru, why do you always get so dirty?
Kabiru:Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER:Haidar, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
HAIDAR:I is...
TEACHER:No, Haidar...... always say, 'I am.'
HAIDAR:All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet'
TEACHER:George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Abdallah, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Abdallah: Because George still had the axe in his hand......
TEACHER: Now, Husssainah ,tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
HUSSAINA:No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER:Hasiya, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
Hasiya :No sir, It's the same dog.
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
TEACHER: Faiyid, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Faiyid: A teacher
LAUGHTER is the best medicine!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-27 21:30:10

753 Views



God understant [Read it]


**********LAFF IT OFF*********
Last week.., there was a program
going on in our
church titled"love fest"..
This is a program where by, you will
buy a gift,
wrap
and package it, another person will
buy his or her
own gift, wrap and package it, then
we will all
gather
in the church and exchange the gifts.
So last
week, I didnt have much money won
me and I
didnt want to miss the program
because, I must
gain a
nice gift from someone.. So I decided
to buy
anything,
I went and bought garri, u know that
garri use to
be
heavy, so I packaged the garri in form
of television,
I
bought a carton of television, put the
garri inside
and support it with a heavy stone,
then i
packaged it, and
it gave me a shape of television.
So when I arrived at the church,
people were
dragging,battling,struggling to sit beside me because
they wanted to
exchange their own gift with mine.
(Una don die
today) I said in my mind" Finally a
girl who also
brought her own gift sat near
me, her gift has the shape of a fridge,
I didnt
know
what was inside but I believed it would be a nice
gift. (I don
hammer"I said in my mind)
So when it got to the time of
exchanging of gifts,
me
and the girl both exchanged our gifts,
she smiled
and collected my own gift that
contains garri and
stone but
in shape of television.
I collected her own gift, it was heavy
like a fridge,
I
ran home quickly before the girl would
change her
mind.
When I got home, I locked my door and
windows,
very
happy that I have cheated the girl
and collected
her nice gift, but I have begged God
for
forgiveness
because I didnt have much money.
When I opened the gift, behold!! I
saw two bags of
sand with two heavy stones bigger
than the stone
I
put inside my own gift, when I
opened the bag of
sand
I saw a written letter, which reads:.."I
saw you
yesterday when you are packaging
your own garri
and stone, you think you are wise"
I just fainted.......


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-14 22:59:52

729 Views




JOKE PART 35 BY DINDY
Girl: Dindy
Dindy: Yes love dear.
Girl: Where do I belong in your life?.
Girl: Family?.
Dindy: No.
Girl: Friend?.
Dindy: No.
Girl: Love?
Dindy: No.
Girl: Then what am I to you?.
Dindy: Don't ask me, go ask the first lady!.
DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 36.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-30 18:07:55

134 Views




BROKEN SEAL
Episode 24
By Owoeye Extinate Ayodeji


The earth crust drew nearer,
those tiny stuffs i was seeing
from afar magnified with each
passing seconds. The plane
tyres bounced a little, it
bounced some more, rolled for
some metres before finally
halting. The aisle was thrown
open, we all alighted gently.
“welcome to Riza” the
stewardess clad in blue
muttered into the speaker.
Three white luxurious buses
were waiting for us, we hopped
in and soon found ourselves in
the event centre. The place
looked so beautiful and cozy.
The structures were erected by
the philippine government
solely for this. (trade fare) the
event would be aired live on
TV stations across philippine
and beyond. Today being the
first day, we have nothing
much to do, only to have
dinner and retire for the night.
The main thing kicks
tomorrow. We were all given
tickets, on every ticket is a
room number. I devored my
meal and located my room
after minutes of search and
bumping into other person’s
room.
EVENT DAY 1
Jog kits were delivered to my
room, i quickly got clad in
them and went outside to join
the others. We jogged round
the street for about 30mins.
The street look deserted, you’d
hardly see houses. We came
back, did some clean up before
having breakfast. The first
business seminar started by
9am and ended a few minutes
to 12noon. The speaker was an
American successful business
woman. She own’s a printing
house in los angeles. I really
enjoyed her seminar! She
spoke on business relationship,
how you’ar to treat a
customer/investor blah blah
blah.
Its now time for lunch, we all
went to the eatery. I haven’t
made any friends yet, i placed
my order, and sat alone. In no
time, the waiter served me and
left. I was about having my
first taste of the food when…….
Voice: hi! The voice sound
strangely familiar!!! Who could
that be? Lets have your
powerful guess!
***************************
Adrian woke up with slight
headache, his whole body felt
weak and heavy. He let
his eyes roam the room, it was
a small room, it looked more
like a hut. I sighted an old
man seating on a stool next to
his bed. Adrian: (trying to sit
up) where am I?
Oldman: beach road…..i found
you washed up by the shore
side….
Adrian tried hard to recall the
events of the past but they all
appeared hazy. He remembered
the race….the torture and…and
thats all his memory could
produce.
Adrian: i need to get out of
here now!
Oldman: your strength is
drained you can’t do that for
now, just relax okay?
Adrian: got a cell phone?
Oldman: no, why?
Adrian: I wanted calling home,
so that someone would pick
me up.
Oldman: can i have the
contact? I can make the call
using the public phone.
Adrian: great! He gave the
oldman his girlfriend’s contact,
the man put a call through to
her, explaining everything. In
less than an hour, Adrian’s
girlfriend came by, she
thanked the oldman for his
kindness, and drove Adrian
home.

>>

THE SILLY QUESTION JOKES BY DINDY (PART 1)
***After seeing me carrying a baby****
Girl: Wow is that a baby?.
Dindy: No it's the bush baby that your daddy caught yesterday's night....non sense.
:......
:......
****After looking at the phone I bought for her****
Girl: Is that the phone you just bought for me today?.
Dindy: No it's the gun I bought for your grandfather which he used to kill your grandmother......idiot.
:.......
:.......
*****After seeing my sister*****
Obinna: Is that your sister?.
Dindy: No na the ashewo wey you carry for night......fool......
DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 2.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-12-22 22:56:33

253 Views




Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick, your friends will. So always stay in touch!Related

After having sex, Akpos and his girlfriend were chatting in his room when she suddenly asked him a question:
Girlfriend: Sweety, you claim to read Novels a lot right?
Akpos: Yes dear. Is there a problem with that?
Girlfriend: Not at all, I just want you to describe my boobs with the name of a novel.
After some seconds, Akpos laughed and blurted out, ‘Things Fall Apart’.

Like us on facebook www.fb.com/naijaniggis


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-16 08:15:10

406 Views



quiz [Read it]


Am arguing wit my friend abt it
________
Pls guys which is the correct
arrangement for someone
who jst woke up in the
morning?
A. Brush,Breakfast ,Drink a
glass of water
B.Drink a glass of water,Brush,
Breakfast
C. Breakfast,Brush ,Drink a
glass of water
D. Breakfast,Drink a glass of
water,Brush
E. I dont know



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-28 11:38:01

604 Views



MARA episode 22 [Read it]


We watched as she slipped her legs into her shoes and carried one cheap, tattered handbag that she had probably gotten as a gift from a ceremony long ago.
She walked close to the door before turning back.
I was perplexed but pastor’s reassuring smile kept me seated.
“I will be back” she said
“Where are you going…?” I was asking when she cut me short herself.
“To have a chat with God…or isn’t it right?” she asked and I smiled, nodding like an agama lizard.
“It’s right” I said and she opened the door.
“But…” I wanted to say again, seeing how weak she looked.
I didn’t want her to faint on the way.
“And…I don’t want to be followed please” she said with a kind of finality and the door was jammed.
I looked at the pastor and he smiled at me.
“It should be fine” he said but I wasn’t convinced.
If he had used ‘will’, I might have calmed down bit; but ‘should’….ah!
>>>>>>>>
If nothing, I knew about the story of Naomi in the Bible very well
I remembered that story lucidly.
I was taught in our Sunday school class while I was in the orphanage home that Naomi went out full but came back empty!
Of course I remembered so well!Some people suffer so that they will be better equipped to comfort others in their suffering
And what is the difference between us now?
Nothing!
But the fact that she went out full and came back empty while I had been empty all my life!
I had been the real Mara!
But I couldn’t bear it anymore…I had been pushed to the wall!
God had been so unfair!
Oh God!
As I alighted from the bike that brought me to the church- the one my doctor attended- with great difficulty, I faced the motorcyclist and he looked into my face
“Bani kudi” he said, stretching his hand in readiness to collect money.
“Ba kudi dan Allah” I quickly pleaded.
It just dawned on me that i had no dime on me.
He frowned a bit
“Me ne ne?” he was almost getting angry
“Dan Allah, ya ku ri. ka ya kuri” I started apologizing as I turned to go
My feet could barely hold me again.
I was about collapsing
The labor pains had been severe and I had nothing to show for the hours of pains I went through.
The child died!
Tears rushed into my eyes
Why my life was full of shambles and pains and calamities like this, I would appreciate if God could explain to me.
I turned back to see the motorcyclist and he was still there.
He looked puzzled as he held his chest out of perplexity.
What was he looking at so intently?
I turned to look at the back of my blue wrapper and there it was…
Full of blood!
I gasped in shock but I went further
“Sanu” he waved
I smiled
“Muje hospital” he said but I shook my head
Whatever had brought me here should kill me here.
If it was death, it should kill me there
I entered the church and fell t the ground.
I gasped for air for a few number of time before I started dragging myself to the altar side
It was a very big church and so it took me minutes to get to the front.
By the time I got there, I had perspired like a Christmas goat and was gasping for air seriously.
The pain was much for me but I endured even as I gaped in pain as I felt the hot, sticky substance streaming down between my laps
Was I dying?
When one loses blood, it is said that life is being lost.
Was I losing my life too?
But wait…
I could hear the sound of a piano
I listened more as I tried to quiet down my moaning.
Someone on the podium was playing the piano
Could the person not see me?
Could the person not rise up to help
TBC


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Elephant females can have babies until they are about 50 years old.Related

*****AYOMIDE*****EPISODE 3*****
I swear this young lady is very beautiful,she can't be a yoruba lady I think,she looks and dress like she is from PH,if you see this lady you would neglect this story and ran after her..lol..as a lady if you see her you will like to be a friend with her****she walks slowly and gracefully to the direction where I was sitting,I can't take my eyes off this young damsel as she reach the position I was sitting,at that moment I feel like I should hug and kiss her but wetin I dey think sef,this lady go old pass me now,and I don't even know her...so I just stop imagining all those rubbish and I concentrate on attending to her,she is here to buy something I think.


"Hello sir,pls can you attend to me?,I am here to get for my self provisions and I hope you don't give me high prices and don't treat me harshly"she said jokingly..wow!!!,I was really carried away with the way this young lady speaks formally to me,some others would have speak informally to me but she is really different,I was like oh my God is this an angel sent from heaven?,my face was full of happiness,see how this sister speaks formally to a seventeen year old boy like me,though I was taller than both my age and this young lady,so this my stature dey freak some people also?,I also on the other hands don't wanna form street boy like I always be,see as I dey form porche for this young lady..LOL..


I come dey speak orally...thanks to my proprietor in my secondary school,he taught me lots of things in English..oral english was the main thing he teaches us then...so I reply this young lady...


"Ohh you are welcome to our supermarket my dear lady!can I know what your needs are?,I will surely treat you well like how I did to other customers and our price are not really high..you will be comfortable with it"...I replied...na so we start dey communicate o,she buy everything she wants to buy summing up to #5,000.then she was about paying for her bill when this spirit jump on to me to form MR NICEGUY for this girl.You are free to go my lady and don't bother paying for all you buy...I said


Na so this lady look up surprisingly,do you mean I shouldn't pay for this things?? She asked...I nodded my head in agreement smiling at her.chai!!!...girls too like free things sha..come see how she dey thank me with a very happy look...she left with a happy look sha...
SISTER! SISTER!! SISTER!!! I shouted as I ran after her...
TO BE CONTINUED...**********
This is the original copy of this story...any other one is a fraud...


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Kitne Majboor Hain Hum Taqdeer Ke Haathon,

Na Tumhe Paane Ki Aukat Rakhte Hain Na Tumhe Khone Ka Honsla!Related

Judas [Read it]


One faithful day, Jesus was accompanied by his twelve disciples who were going around doing miracles and preaching the gospel. They got to a point where the disciples were tired and hungry, so Jesus told them to pick some stones that were laid on the floor. Judas being who he was picked up the least. On seeing this, Jesus turned the stones into bread for them so therefore Judas got the least.

On the next day, they were going about their normal business and they got tired again, Jesus again told them to pick up stones. Due to what happened the previous day, Judas decided to pick a sack full of it. Jesus seeing what Judas had done told the disciples to carry what they had taken to Jerusalem


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-04 07:50:36

245 Views



married man [Read it]


If you are a married man and you find yourself attracted to school girls, just buy your wife a school uniform.
Lols!!!!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-17 22:40:11

346 Views




????: ??? ?????? ???? ???? ???????? ?? ????? ??? ???

????: ???? ???-??? ?? ??? ?? ?? ??? ??, ?????? ???, ??? ???? ????, ?? ?? ?? ?? ???? ?? ?????? ???

????: ?? ????? ?? ?? ????? ???? ??? ?? ??? ??, ??? ?? ?? ??? ?? ?????

????: ???… ?? ????? ????, ?????? ?? ??? ?? ??? ??? Related

LMFAO [Read it]


Akpos had a serious
accident with his brand
new car. A police officer
nearby ran to the scene
to help them out
. .
Akpors ran out of his car Yelling.
"This man's car just hit
my car! That car is
worth Six million Naira!
Now,my car is a total write-off!"
The police officer shook
his head in amazement
and said "You are so
materialistic.You didn't
even realize that your hand had been cut off"
..
Akpors looked at his
bloody arm and
screamed "OH MY GOD!!!
Where is my gold wristwatch"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-18 06:50:42

359 Views




Below is a list of the types of Students you find in an examination hall (In Nigeria).

1. THE GURUs

The
first on the list is the gurus, who are the gurus? this are the type of
student that starts writing immediately they are given the Question
paper and answer sheet. They don't stop until the Invigilator ask
everybody to submit.

Everyone knows them in their Department and
regard them as one of the brilliant person in class or the most
brilliant but they always end up with bad grades. (Only God knows why).

2. THE MIRACLE SEEKERS

Who
are the Miracle seekers in an examination hall? this are the Students
that did not read at all but still walk into the examination hall with
an assurance that manners will fall from heaven.

Most of this
type of Students will not enter the examination with micro chips but
will still write far more than the person they are asking from or
sitting with. (I Salute una Faith o).

3. THE PHONE A FRIEND CATEGORY

This
set of students depend fully on their friends and even enemies in the
same hall with them. Immediately the sitting arrangement is out, you
will see them going from desk to desk asking other students where they
fall.

Immediately they get to hear that the most brilliant
student falls in their hall, they limp for joy and of course they book
the space behind the student. (Chai, Una go good for Ultimate Search).

4. THE THIEVES

A
lecturer once describe this category of student as the smartest among
students this is because they manage to get their micro chips to their
desk no matter how strict the invigilators are.

Search them from
now till next year, you can never find anything on them yet, there are
loads of chips with them. (Deris God Oh!)

5. THE GIRAFFES

The
list can never be complete without this category of students. From the
start of the examination till everyone submit their booklets, Mr Giraffe
neck will stretch from one corner of the room to another. (I Hail o).

6. THE OLODOS

"Please
spell APPLICATION for me" No, i am not the one asking, it is a student
in his/her final year asking you to spell Application for him during a
GNS examination. (Bros, go learn trade o!).

7. THE PHOTOCOPY MACHINE

This
set of student can copy anything as long as it is on your answer
booklet. They will copy everything including your name, surname and
matriculation number. (Blood of Jesus!).

8. THOSE THAT CAME TO SIT FOR OTHERS

Do
i really need to write much about this category? They are in the hall
to write the examination for a friend who is sick or the person who paid
them to sit for them.

9. THE SU's

Yes, this category of student are the Mummy G.O's and Daddy G.O's who will mind their business throughout the examination.

Call them from today till next week they will not lookup talkless of answering you.

10. THE BIRO EATERS

All
they do is chew the cover of Biro or start eating biro all through the
examination period. (Shey na Hungry abi na another thing?)

Fell free to add your own


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-31 19:08:15

182 Views



Adanna** part 2 [Read it]



Blessing: but you told me not to cook
anything
again na.
Me: yeah that was because i wasnt hungry
then, but now my stomach is crying. Blessing: the only thing you can take now
is
garri manage it when day break i will cook
something for us to eat. I gat no choice so
i got up and soak garri, i
put salt and then feed the worms in my
stomach.
Since light dey i just carry the laptop, open
it and configure everything for her, all
apps
are installed but not on homescreen, so i help
her
move them, i also activate her video player
so that she can watch movie, when i finish
i
took one movie and start watching, she woke
up
and
join me i guess the sound was disturbing
her. Blessing: what we did let no mouth
hear of it. Me: i really dont care i love you and
even if
the
whole world know about it i dont care.
Blessing: your girlfriend mercy is my friend
and shes a faithful girl, so i dont want to put
asunder, so pls just focus on her and
forget
about me. Me: (shock i thought i was
dating her
secretly, how she come manage know na) waoh
how
did
you know about mercy. Blessing: haha i
ask about you, the first time
you ask me out. Waoh, i was dumbfounded i never knew
my
affair with mercy will comeout.
We watch the movie silently till we slept
off.
I went to my house the follow morning i took 8
cup of rice with me of course, My bag of
rice
finish since last week.
.
I got home, dressup and go to church, i came back from church in the afternoon
and saw
my
door open, i went in and saw everywhere
neat
and sparkly clean. only one person can clean my room neat
like
this and only one person know where i put
my
key and that person is mercy. I wasnt
suprise to see her, she was lying down
watching movie from my laptop, she saw
me
and got up, gave me a hug.
Me:when did you close from church?
mercy: by 9am me: ok, you attend morning mass right
mercy: yes dear
me: so how was the service
mercy: fine and urs
me: wonderful mercy: i hope you wait till
they share the grace
me: yes na (if i tell her no, she wont be
happy
with me), so what did you cook sweet.
Mercy: afam soup and garri
me: thats why i love you mercy: only when food is involve abi? Me:
haa u know me now, i dont need to tell
you
how much i love you because if i start i
wont
stop mercy: abegi let me hear word. I removed my clothes while she serve the
food,
she use her money to cook the soup, i like
her
because she is very caring, light in
complexion, big Bosom, tall and good backyard.
We ate in silent while i keep on staring at
her
pant, she sat in a way that make her pant
visible to me, she noticed it and adjust.
Me: why you dey adjust na mercy: today na sunday lets keep it holy.
After eating i tried to touch her but she
nor
gree oh, all those lord’s chosen girls them
dey
dey stubborn sometimes, i remember the day i disvirgin her she started speaking in
tongues
asking God to forgive her, as if na God
carry
her come my house. she really ment that
her word “holy sunday” , if she really want to keep it holy why did
she
come at all, well even if no touching, at
least i
don get soup for house wey go reach me
till wednesday, we watch movie together
(falling
sky) till 8 in the night before she said its
time
to go, i got up took my phone and escort
her, her house dey the same road to blessing
house,
but her own far pass blessing own well
well,
i
escort her to her house before going back, i
make sure she enter inside her gate before
i
turn back the time was 9:30pm in the
night, i
check my pocket no transport and i thought
i
put 50 naira on my pocket, hmmm i hope
no
ghost today. .
I was coming towards MCC junction, before i
reach lord’s chosen church headquarter
in
Aba,
place where big lorry spoil and bad road, i
heard footstep following me, i stop look back and
saw
nobody, i fasten my footstep and continue
going, not quite long i heard footstep
again, this
time i didnt stop to look back i just kept on going, i heard the footstep coming closer, i
ran
and the run after me, i ran till i get to the
big
lorry then i hide, the person stop at the
spot where i stop running, i can see the person
now,
shes a girl, a beautiful damsel, she look left
and
right, move left and right also, then she
said ”
ok you can comeout now” with her
sweet voice that can melt
anybody’s
heart. She look so beautiful yellow like
madonna, have
red redlips like madonna, slim like rihanna,
she
wore red shirt, black trouser and has white
something in her hand in form of
wristwatch. “you can comeout now she repeat
herself”
who
she dey talk to self, i dont think shes
referring
to me i said in my mind, she wasnt looking at
my direction, she just face front and
repeat
herself for the third time “OZ you can
comeout
now” i was scared like hell, i came out from
where i was hiding, walking slowly to
where she
was looking at her straight in the face to
confirm if i know her, but unfortunately i
dont. Unknown girl: Hi Me: (amidst fear) who are you and what do
you
want from me? Am telling my blood is
bitter and
am covered with the blood of Jesus christ.
Unknown girl: hahahaha man like you dey fear? Me: who are you please (getting
inpatient)
and
why are you bothering me? Unknown girl:
bothering you, want from
you? Am adanna your friend. Me: who the hell is
adanna, i have never
come
across that name before, am sorry i dont
know
you and you should stop following me. Unknown Girl: Am adanna, and you know
me
I look her face very well, i never see this
kind
person before for my life oh, still look
scared i said Me: am sorry i dont know you. Adanna:
remember that time, me and your
neigbour chinansa were cutting bitterleaf
at
your backyard in the night when you offer
to help us. .
I remember then that was like 6months
ago, she
came to visit her friend chinansa in the
night
and they came to our backyard to cut bitterleaf
where i was reporting my book, she look
so
beautiful that i wanted to woe her then
but
i just bone the matter base on say i dey
knack chinansa, i nor wan fuckup then, i
greet her
and
compliment her beauty though i didnt ask
her name then, i never saw her again even
though i look for her, i collect her number
from
chinansa
phone secretly but her number was
always switch off any time i try it, so i gave up,
and
now here she is, like a ghost. Me: adanna?
waoh, you have change
drastically
(of course she has change, she now has big butt and big Bosom like nicki minaj)
and how the hell did you know i was one
the one passing. Adanna: i know your
movement. Me: how would you know my
movement
when u’ve seen me just once. Adanna: not only
once, you always pass this
road every weekend and i always see you.
Me: and you never call? and what stop you
from
coming to our compound again? Adanna: chinansa told me to stop coming
so i
stop. Me: why would she say that. Adanna:
i dont know, i thought you are in
best
position to answer that question. Hmmm, i hope she never tell you say we
dey do
that thing. Me: no i dont know anything, so
where are
you
going, and by the way you scare the hell out
of
me. Adanna: sorry about that, you pass
my
street,
so i thought i should say hi. Me: (na im you come dress like person wey
dey
go cult meeting) ok its late just give me
number, i will call you tomorrow Adanna: i
thought you have my number. Me: (how
did she know that) yeah i do, but your
number is always switch off. Adanna: ok
dont worry i will call you,
she said and start going, i tried to call her
back
because am not sure she will call, she just look
back and wave me bye. Hmmmmm,
something is fishy, how did she
know my name, and how will she call me?
Question for the gods. I got home rest my
head on my pillar why i enter into dreamworld.
.
I never heard from adanna again for 2
months, i
even proposely stroll that area in the night
but i never saw her again, i called that her fake
number but stll switch off. Then the
unexpected happen around 1am
in the
night in my house as i went outside to
ease myself, i pass my neigbour room, and close
to
her window, i saw a figure in my backyard
sitting down on my neighbour’s window.
Me: adanna? Adanna: hi sweetie Me: what
are you doing here? Adanna: waiting for you to comeout.


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No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness.Related

Hindi commentary would be a

lot more fun if they used phrases

Like

.

.

.

.

.

‘Chutiye sale ne phir catch chod

diya’, ????Related

Bros ofego [Read it]


I and akpos went 2 a party,when we reached there i saw 1 bald head guy i told akpos dat 'i would lyk 2 slap d guy's head bt im afraid of his face'. Akpos told me dat he will slap his head ntng wil hapen,i doubted it,he went straigth 2 d man and slap his head.'bros ofego so u r here and we are for u at home'.said akpos,the guy replied.'im nt ofego may be we look alike'.after sum minutes akpos told me again dat he wil d same guy and ntn wil hapen,i doubted it again,he went 2 d guy and gv hm a big slap on hs head and said.'bros ofego stop lying na u be dz u cum and hyd here is u'.d boy replied now angry.'im nt hm stop dat'.d guy got up dr and went 2 anoda place.after sumtym akpos told me again dat he is goin 2 slap d same guy and ntn wil hapen.i told hm dat if sumtin hapen dz tym dat i wil deny hm.he went stra8 2 d same guy and gv hm a bigger slap on hs head and said.'bro ofego so na here u cum hyd i cum dey slap anoda person for back'.d u tink sumtin wil hapen 2 akpos dz tym.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-06 18:21:20

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