Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:

NEEDED PRAYER [Read it]


(FUNNY PRAYER)
Dear God,
Please, give me the nature of JIM IYKE so as to never allow intimidation; a heart like RAMSEY NOAH’s to love my woman but please a wife like OMOTOLA, not like FUNKE AKINDELE who will beat me up and throw me out; a mother-in-law like NGOZI EZEONU and not PATIENCE OZOKWOR biko Chineke! A father-in-law like PETE EDOCHIE and not CHIWETALU AGU that will curse me and call me names; a tolerant heart like that of KENNETH OKONKWO, please God, do not give me a maid as curvy as MERCY JOHNSON OKOJIE, Oluwa i beg You. Please, if I have TONTO DIKE among my unborn children, please may my wife abort her before I meet her. God, give me the wealth of OLU JACOBS because I have never seen him poor. I need neighbours like MR. IBU, CHARLES AWURUM, VICTOR OSUAGWU and Co so that laughter will not depart from my life. I need smart male children like CHINEDU IKEDIEZE and OSITA IHEME but with height; give me wisdom like you gave NKEM OWOH, and Oluwa I beg you to please, crown it all with a long life like you gave that old man who narrated the story of IGODO, Amen!
Are you laughing alone? Abeg share and put a smile on someone’s face joor, hehehehehe..


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-08 21:10:53

979 Views



The true fact [Read it]


It is said that husband is the head of the family.

But remember that wife is the neck of the family.

And the neck can turn the head exactly the way she wants.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-28 07:18:37

472 Views




5 different skills training(Lagos only) classified into weekdays (date:21nov-14dec, time: 10am-3pm) and weekends (date:26nov-18dec, time: 12pm-5pm) Early Payment: N4,000 per course closing 18nov 2016 Late Payment: N5,000 per course after 18nov 2016 Includes all ingredient, practical materials, and certificate (Installment Payment Accepted) VENUE: Line G, shop 146, military cantonment ojo barracks Lagos. WhatsApp: 08103827713 for more info and enquiries also like our Facebook page genius mind concept. Course Outline. Bead making Hair making Make-up and Gele Ankara craft Cake baking and decoration.







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-11-01 23:20:12

156 Views



whos more smart [Read it]


On a faithful day me and my gf sat down inside the sitting room and we started discussing about something...... Me:baby lemme see your phone...and she gave it to me I called call her phone to know what she use to save my name and I see my love meanwhile I save her name wt Ella 2 she snatch the phone from me and see what I was doing and found out that I was confirming what she use to save my name... gfya bring ur phone to I wanna see what u used to save my name...Me:shouting....so u don't trust me abi u why do u think I wanted to check to see if our mind works alike and now I see that we both save our name the same thing......I stop shouting and said baby we both are gonna be great together because u saved my name with your love and I saved your name with my precious...... she smile and said dnt worry I knw u saved my name with Ella2 I just wanna knw who's Ella 3 bcuz that's non of my numbers....and meanwhile I knw u used to check my phone I jst changed ur name back from olaide 3 to my love.....


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-31 22:48:31

415 Views




Akpors was sitting quietly in the garden
after church one Sunday, he was looking
very troubled and seemed to be thinking
hard. Akpors wife noticed his behavior
and got concerned, so she decided to ask
him;
“Hey darling, why are you sitting so
quietly in the garden? What is it that is
bothering you?”
Akpors replied, “I’m still thinking about
what the pastor said. It’s making me
uncomfortable.”
Wife: What is it?”
Akpors: The pastor confessed to me that
he has slept with all married and single
women in the
church except one, he refused to say her
name but he insisted she was the only
woman who refused to sleep with him.
I’m just wondering who that is, I’m
hoping it’s y…..(wife cuts in before he
finishes)
Wife: “Ehnnnn, it must be that stupid Mrs
John of a woman, she is always forming
superiority in the women’s meetings,
apparently she thinks she’s better than
everyone!”
Akpors fainted!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-08 10:54:01

666 Views




Don't tell anyone all this words

1. Don't tell anyone say na me disvirgin ur mother before dey born me in d year 1880
2. Don't tell anyone that my dad steal my mum purse before they give birth to my grandfather
3. Don't tell anyone the first day i meet you, toast you, and you accept
4. Dont tell anyone the time i always drink my dads yoghurt in my mum wombs
5. Don't tell anyone that i forget to kiss u wen u are no more intresting
6. Dont tell anyone that my principal beat hell out of me and put back heaven into me
7. Don't tell anyone the relationship between me and your sister before your mother was give birth to
8. Don't tell anyone that thiis joke is too sweet and you drop the comment that is so sweet.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-23 01:10:41

1163 Views




JOKE PART 52 BY DINDY
Girl: If you had to pick an animal, which animal do you find the sexiest of all?.
Dindy: Give me options.
Girl: Ok.
Girl: A zebra?.
Girl: A Horse?.
Girl: A Dog?.
Girl: A Cat?.
Girl: A Wolf?.
Girl: A Snake?.
Girl: A Donkey?.
Dindy: Non.
Girl: Then which animal?.
Dindy: Your mum.......... .
DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 53.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-11-17 23:06:16

148 Views




ONE WRONG TURN
Episode 13

The usual traffic in Benin city
ensured that i was almost late for
school. My mum Droped me off
exactly 2 minutes before 8 0’clock.
She handed me a hundred naira
note for lunch, and zoomed off.
As i walked through the gate, i
took time to examine the entire
school compound. And kept
wondering how i would be able to
make it out without being noticed.
The entire compound was tightly
secured. The perimeter fence was
high, and lined with barbed wire.
It was impossible to jump over.
The school had 2 entrances, and 2
security posts. One in front and
one behind. Each had stern
looking men manning the gates,
with strict warning not to allow
students out of the compound till
the school closes.
The security arrangement in the
school, coupled with the hostile
nature of the gatemen made the
school look more like a federal
prison than a learning center.
I walked straight to the assembly
hall with my bag firmly hung on
my shoulders, as i was already
late.
The morning assembly was like
every other one. We sang some
hymns, recited the national
anthem and performed other daily
routine.
The principal made an
announcement, reminding all SS3
students of the commencement of
waec and JAMB registration, we
were to part with the sum of
25thousand naira in all.
The annoucement was greeted
with some happiness, it meant we
would soon be out of secondary
school. I can’t wait to be in the
university, it would mean one
thing…..Freedom!
We marched to our various classes,
singing along.
As soon as we sat in class, i
moved to Ruth’s seat. I couldn’t
contain my excitement. I wanted
all the details of the escape plan.
How exactly I’m i going to leave
this school compound?.
Ruth and Hannah looked at me
with surprise and laughed
hysterically. My naivity must have
amused them. I looked like a
curious lamb perhaps.
” Did you bring extra clothes?”
Ruth asked
“why? What for?” I asked,
genuinely surprised.
“Haba you can’t be walking
outside with your school uniform
na, you want to tell the entire
Benin that you escaped from
school?” Hannah replied, a little
irritated.
“i didn’t know i had to, so what
do we do now?” I asked, with a
worried look
“Ruth will give you her own”
“will you?”
Ruth obliged, she always comes in
handy for evil deeds. She was like
the devil’s assistant to me.
I was about to ask other
questions, when the class suddenly
became quiet. Our class teacher
had just walked in.
I turned around and headed for
my seat.
“last period before break” Ruth
wispered to me. As I approached
my seat.
The morning lessons went by
slowly. I barely understood
anything that was said in class,
thanks to the fear and excitement
building up inside me.
The bell rang, to signify the end
of the third lesson of the day, and
the beginning of the last lesson
before break.
The subject was geography, which
i don’t offer. I got up and hurried
left the class before the teacher
arrives. Ruth and Hannah were
right behind me. They were both
holding their school bags, mine
was still on my seat.
They led me towards the security
post behind the school. I kept
wondering how we were going to
walk past the gateman.
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
To be continued


>>

Madman Tv [Read it]


At night, a thief came in and stole a madman’s tv and dvd. On getting out of the house, the madman wakeup and chase the thief.

After 2 hours race, the thief gave up, he start pleading but the madman replied "Dont worry, i wanted to give you the remotes."

Source: Newz.Twomini.Com


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-21 16:21:31

439 Views



Going to heave [Read it]


A priest was talking to a group of kids about "being good" and going to heaven.

At the end of his talk, he asked Akpos, "Where do you want to go?"

"Heaven! Heaven!" answered Akpos.
"And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the priest.

"Dead!" Shouted Akpos



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-29 08:16:14

355 Views




Gen.
Buhari and other executive members of his party this morning January
7th went to the hospital to visit some members of APC who were allegedly
shot during his presidential campaign in Port Harcourt yesterday
January 6th.



Unknown
gunmen opened fire on their vehicle around 5.30am yesterday while the
APC members were on their way to Buhari's campaign ground at Adokiye Amasiemaka Stadium in Omagwa, Ikwerre Local Government Area or River state. One person was killed while the others were rushed to the hospital








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-07 14:19:10

630 Views



Bad Old Woman [Read it]


A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped open, and every now and then, a $50 bill fell out onto the footpath. Noticing this, a cop stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $50 bills falling Out of that bag."


"Oh, rats! Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer."


"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. "Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?" 


"Oh, no, no," said the old lady. "You see, my yard is right next to the baseball stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through a hole in the fence, right into my garden. Then I thought, "why not make the most of it? So, now, on game days, I stand behind the fence by the hole with my shears. Every time some guy sticks his dingus through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, "O.K., buddy! Give me $50, or I cut off your thing!" 


Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"  


"Well, you know," said the little old lady, "not everybody pays


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-25 12:29:22

250 Views



cells [Read it]


in biology class teacher asked
teacher:what d we find in cells
Akpos:ah na thieves


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-27 00:58:22

394 Views




Akpos attended a church service one Sunday.
While the pastor was preaching he said, “Tell the
person seated next to you that what happens to you
will also happen to me.”
But unfortunately for Akpos, he seated next to a
cripple.
So Akpos replied the cripple, “What happens to you
will remain with you!”.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-13 21:04:03

244 Views




EPS2

So luckily, you are the only one to apply since one week we posted the notice. "Really I must be lucky" replied Ellen.
Unfortunately my husband and I are going out on a meeting, with our business partners, you could stay with the kids if we come back we can discuss about your salary and other stuffs .
Yes ma'am that's not a problem' Ellen replied in a gentle manner.
Henry!!! Jane hollered ...
Yes Darling !!!' Henry answered from the kitchen side. '
Come meet the new girl . henry came out, he was puttinon suit just like a gentle business man should. ' She's great henry added'. .. '' you look just like Richard '' Ellen said .. 'Excuse me' .. "I mean, Richard his's my favourite actor, you look just like him ... Everybody says my husband look like this , like that, Jane added .. Honey we are already late I think we should start going, henry said
I told Ellen that she should stay with the kids till we return , she said no problem.. Okay let's go then ..
Don't be in a hurry let's introduce the kids to her.. Jane called out for the kids ..
This is.. Marry she's 11 and this is Zack he's is 13 and this is Linda she is 10.
Mom she is pretty Linda compliments.
.. Thank you. Said Ellen's ....
Kids this is Ellen your new Nanny.
'honey, Henry said .. Henry phone rang .. See they're already calling ..
Okay ,, Bye bye Jane waved to the kids .. Bye, the kids waved back.
The left .. The kids stared at Ellen..

' Do you believe in witches '? Ellen asked
Yes, the kids reply..
I wanna tell you guys a story ...

Long time ago there live a witch who fell in love with a normal human..
She was afraid that if the man found out she's a witch, he will run away, so the witch decided to keep her secrets to herself, but their love grow even deeper.. So one day she asked the man 'If she was a witch will he love her the way he do now'
"I will love you who ever you are, my love for you is unconditional ",
replied the man which gave the poor witch hope, later the witch told her secrets to the man, that she is a witch .. Nothing change the love was still there even stronger than before .. A plague came upon the land, the young children , grins .live stocks start to die.. The village was worried.

''Is it because the man loved the witch caused the plague? Linda asked ..

No replied Ellen, you know sometimes climate changes and things will go from normal to abnormal .. '
So the man blamed the witch for all that is happening. The witch said "because I'm a witch doesn't mean you should blame me for all this" . out of anger the man called her a 'wicked witch' . The witch slaps the man. The man left and let out her secret that she a witch . the villagers gather and burn the witch alive. but the witch promise that she will be back to hunt the man's generation .......
Did she come back ?? asked Linda ...
Yes the witch is me.
Ahh the kids were freighted and shocked... Ah ah ah ah ' I got ya Ellen said the all laugh ... The witch must havd felt bad ..Linda added
really bad, said Ellen
..did you guys love the story ??
Yess .. Tell us another one
Okay I will . the all laugh..







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Ledan was sweating all over like someone who had just lifted a trailer engine, he couldn’t believe none of his many friends refused to help, he felt so alone on the world. What would he do? How do he get #150000?, he knew his account was empty, he wasn’t close to his family members either who could have helped him. Peem, peem! Ledan was jolted from his reverie by the horns of a trailer that wanted to park where he had been standing.

He apologized immediately to the occupants of the trailer who were by now raining causes on him.
Ledan crossed the road to the other side where his car was parked. He had just arrived from his friend Thomas’ house who claimed to be broke. Before coming to Thomas’ house, he had gone to five others of his friends but couldn’t get the financial assistance he needed.

They all gave him different reasons for not being able to help. Salisu had said he didn’t have money because he paid his children’s school fees last week, Onalo couldn’t help because he gave his wife money to go to market yesterday, Onoja said one of his elder sis died and he needed all the money he could get to sponsor her burial, Ajudu couldn’t come out to answer him because he had been sick for three days now. Such were the excuses given by Ledan’s friends. He didn’t want to ask money from his best friend Akande who would surely give him but wasn’t part of their clique, “the seven masters”.

All his life, Ledan had only made friends with friends who are chronic drunker. If you can drink alcohol very well, then you’re Ledan’s friend. As a result, he goes to places like beer parlours, brukutu joints and other places where the misfits of the society hibernate. He failed to save money anytime he got his salary, he would always give his wife Imabong 10000 naira to manage for the month while he will spend the remaining 170000 naira remnants of his salary on buying drinks for people and dashing his so-called friends money.

It’s after he spends the money finish that his eyes becomes clear and he goes to stay with Imabong at home, the reason why he was at home when she went into labour.

It now dawned on him he had fairweather friends. He had always avoided Akande who was his true friends because he doesn’t drink alcohol and always advising him to attend church with his wife despite the fact that’s he’s a Muslim. He had also avoided his relatives because they were always advised him to stop living his kind of life. Ledan was confused and dejected.

Then a call entered and he soliloquy was cut short. The caller was no other person than his best friend and colleague, Akande.

Ledan:Hello (after picking the call)

Akande: Besty of life, bawoni

Ledan: I’m fine oo, what about you and Mrs Akande..

Akande: sorry i couldn’t call to inform you when my wife went into labour wife has been in labour for about 11 hours now and the doctor said the reason is because the baby is facing the wrong place

Ledan: sorry my friend, five miscarriages is already enough, your wife will give birth to a healthy baby this time by God grace.

Akande: insha Allah she will, what about your wife my friend?

Ledan: she also went into labour, but she’s having complications and would need a caesarean section

Akande: subhanalah!… I’m sorry my friend… Its a….

Ledan: *he cut him off so he would be tempted to reveal his need for money* I have to go now my friend, I’ll talk to you later. *he didn’t wait for him to reply before hanging up the call*

After hanging up the call, he smiled to himself. An idea had just crossed his mind while speaking to his friend.He was sad though because he had to betray his best friend who had done him no harm once again.

But he reassured himself that the safety of his unborn kids is more necessary than his best friend.

“After all a popular Yoruba adage says ‘money is in the mouth of the lion’, I have to put my mouth in the lions mouth to get money to save my wife and kids even if it means sacrificing my best friend”, he opined, “betrayers have been happening from the genesis of the world, Lucifer, the Morning Star betrayed God, even Jesus was betrayed by Judas, so if saints good betray the Supreme Beings, there’s no reason he shouldn’t betray his friend” he thought justifiably, “desperate times requires desperate actions, even God will understand I’m doing this to save three lives”, he concluded.

———————————————-

Akande was forcing himself not to dose. He hasn’t been able to sleep since he brought in Medinat yesterday night, just then he heard cries from the labour room, and almost immediately he ran into the delivery room like someone who had suddenly gone mad in his curious rush to find out what had happen. Alas! The nurse was holding a baby. His joy knew no bounds, he is a father at last.

“Congratulations Mr.Akande, your wife just delivered a bouncing baby girl, she’s so……haaaa!”, the nurse couldn’t complete her sentence because the baby had just pissed on the nurse’s mouth.

Everyone laughed and it provided a form of comic relief to everyone on the room.

Just then, Akande received a call. “What?”, Akande screamed, “you mean the patrol money was stolen?”, he asked the caller.

The phone dropped from his hands and he fainted.

>>

akpors went to america to search for money and when he was walking on the road he stole a lot of money and was be chased by the police' so he ran into a dark room when the police came in the room the searched for him but couldn't find him then one of them said lets on the light we will see now what will happen. so the on it and akpors from his hidding shouted up nepa !







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-24 16:51:28

658 Views




clara: mom; when did you come back
julia: not too long; how is everyone
clara: we are fine
Isabella: grandma; when did you return
julia: not too long ago& you where are you coming from?
Isabella: i went for auctioning
clara: what did i tell you; i dont like that
Isabella: mom relax is not that bad
Clara: its bad, that is not the kind of life i want for you
Isabella: grandma, please tell mom to say yes; if ever my name was shortlisted
Clara: dont even go there
Julia: Clara, can you please hear her out and my sweet; what is it all about
clara: mom; is like making an advertisement for a brand product but this one is presenting television show were you talked about family give others the opportunity to comment on topic rise in the show; i dont like know but i dont just want my daughter to go into that; i dont want her to be a celebrity
Julia: but why not? dont you want your daughter to be famous
Clara: that is not true, i just want her to become an accountant
Joab: what is going on?
Isabella: good afternoon dad
Joab: i said what is going
Julia: we were just talking about your daughter, she said, 'she want to go into showbiz
Joab: if she want to go into prostitution; how is it my business
Clara: that is our daughter we are talking about; your daughter
Joab: i know woman; dont be too sensitive to things; so the fact i said those words that doesnt mean she will become a prostitution unless she want to become one or do you want to become one? spoil brat ( she cried and ran out)
julia: i dont like the way you talk to my granddaughter and please stop treating her like she is not your daughter
Joab: at least you said 'she is my daughter' that means am her dad, i can do anything to discipline her, if she act like a spoil brat but if you try to stop me that show that i am not her dad and i really dont know if my blood run in that girl
Clara: will you stop being dramatic; are you by chance calling me a prostitute too
Joab: are you better off than one (julia slapped him) what?
Julia: i will not be there; why are you abusing my daughter
Joab: then leave, leave my family alone
clara: That is my mom you are talking about
Joab: i dont care
Julia: i am not leaving, i cant take this; i wouldnt take this and i am not taking it (exit Julia)
clara: mother; please wait; did you see what yo are doing
joab: stop patronizing me (curtian)
katherina: small girl, where is Isabella?
lola: i dont know, maybe she is at the studio
katherina: why is she always there
zippor: maybe she want to become an actress; she make her a prostitute
katherina: are you okay upstair
zippor: yes, i am not the one that said it, dad did; so stop taking it out on me (enter Isabella)
Isabella: hello everyone
Zippor: are you back prostitute?
lola: will you stop it Zippor; you are hurting her dont you know she is our sister
Zippor: she is not my sister
Katherina: i am sorry and you get out of here (exit Zippor)
Isabella: you dont have to
Katherina: alright, i go ahead
lola: dont mind that naught boy
Isabella: is okay, i'm not thinking about it
Lola: tell me, if your name is short listed will you be happy?
Isabella: of cause, i will
Lola: whoa, that means very soon, we will be famous
Isabella: naught you
Lola: come here, lets go help mom
Melisa: obedient, why is the dishes not washed
Obedient: mom, is Obed turned to tak care of the dishes
Melisa: really
Zuriel: of cause mom
Melisabed, why didnt you wash the dishes
Obed:i cant, i'm not your slave, if you are need of slave go make your bastard son slave
zuriel: what did you just called me
obed: bastard, are you not ashamed, look around you; you are the only one with light skin and every other person is dark, even your mom is dark. why dont you asked your mom who is your father or maybe she is not your mom too
Melisa: (she slapped him) may it never be well with you
Alice: it will be well with my son, is it not obvious that this child doesnt belong here; go give the child to his parent
melisa: i try as much as possible not to get mad at you when you insult me but you insulting my son also; is one thing; i wouldnt take from you
Alice: what will you do? are you not a prostitute? go on answer me (she slapped her and fight break out)
Zuriel: mom stop fighting
Zeal: will you two stop it, what if i came in with a friend; what will i tell them?
Alice: she started it; she slapped me first
Zeal: keep quiet and you, why dont you avoid her
Melisa: i am sorry
Zeal: is okay, even if she slapped you cant you just wait till i returned
Alice: Oh! i see, i will leave since you dont like me
Zeal: your are free to
Alice: i should go? no problem, i am leaving with my sons. obed and obedient go pack your things
obedient: mom, why? i dont want to, i dont want to leave dad
Alice: cant you see he doesnt love you or your brother
Zeal: dont you dare turn my kids against me and make me look bad, if you want to leave do that alone
Alice: you think i will leave my kids behind to be maltreated by this witch
Zeal: then go with then, go, all of you get out of my house
Zuriel: no dad, i dont want my brother to leave
Zeal: will you get inside; if then want to go let them go
Melisa: handsome please stop this joke, we are still family
Zeal: fine, you can stay
Alice: i am not
Zeal: then suite yourself (exit)
Obed: mom, i dont want to, lets stay (they cried together)
Alice: you see what you are doing to my kids
Melisa: can we talk
Alice: talk about what
Melisa: even if we are not in good terms now before now, we used to be best of friends even after the wedding , what happen to us? what went wrong? how did this hatred start? is there anyway, we can make up
Alice: you answer that and please get out of my way
Melisa: just open your mouth and tell me what i should do and i will gladly do it
Alice: go away; stay away from my family, my husband and my sons; just leave
Melisa: is that what you want
Alice: yes, didnt they say that when you love someone, you set them free
Melisa: but i cant do that
Alice: that means you are just pretending, so get lost and stop acting like you love him when deep down in you; you dont
Melisa: i do love him and you know it
Alice: i dont, if you truly love him as you have prophesy then set him free, cause if you do not,t show that you are happy that he is getting hurt all because of you
Melisa: i am not doing it
Alice: then suite yourself

to be continue........

just wait and see if melisa will accept or will continue staying with her family



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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ONE WRONG TURN
Episode 23

The lecture couldn’t have ended
any quicker. As soon as the
teacher left the class, i hurriedly
gathered my books, tucked them
in my bag and headed straight for
the gate house.
Ruth and Hannah where right
behind me. They too had plans. It
was time to execute.
As early as we were, we weren’t
the first to arrive at the gate
house. We met 3 other girls there.
I recognized them, they had left
the class a while ago during the
English lecture.
They weren’t wearing their
uniforms anymore, the make up
on their faces had completely
transformed them.
One of the girls handed 1500
naira to the gate man, and he
opened the gate for them.
There was a yellow range rover
sport packed just outside the gate.
It had a passenger at the back
seat. He was a well dressed middle
aged man, probably in his 50s.
Two of the girls hopped into the
back seat, while the third occupied
the front seat.
Just before the door closed, i
could see one of the girls kissing
the middle aged man shamelessly,
as he ran his hands over her body.
She looked so much like a
prostitute.
But who I’m i to judge? Aren’t we
very much the same? I thought to
myself as i slowly took off my
uniform.
I put on my gown hurriedly, and
sat quietly waiting for Ruth to
make me up. I still didn’t know
how to apply make up. Every time
i tried was a disaster.
Ruth got dressed on time. She
looked so pretty in her make up.
She was naturally endowed just
like me. The tight fitting short
gown she wore made a fine print
of her shape.
I sat motionless as she applied
make up on my face, she was
quite meticulous. She seemed so
keen on making me look beautiful
today
After a while, I looked at myself
in the mirror. My own beauty
made me proud.
I turned from side to side, trying
out various poses. Everything
seemed perfect. Even the gate
man couldn’t help himself, i
caught him staring.
I took my school bag, and we
headed out of the school
compound. Just outside, Ehis car
was packed in front of another
camry.
I didn’t bother to look at the
occupants of the car behind, i
simply took a seat beside Ehis,
while Ruth and Hannah entered
the car packed behind.
“you look stunning baby” Ehis
said, moving in for a kiss.
His lips met mine without
resistance, the shyness i use to
feel was gone. I felt bolder and
more confident in the presence of
Ehis.


>>

Aap ko To Pata Hai Apne Pappu Se Aaj Tak Koi Ladki Nahi Phasee lekin bahot mehnat k baad Raat din ek karke

Pappu Ne Facebook Par Ek Ladki Set Kar hi Li

Jiska Facebook Par Naam Tha “Princess Krutika”

,Jiska Status Tha – I don’t work cause I’m a princess,Aur

Usne Katrina Kaif ki Profile Pic Lagayi Huyi Thi.



Pappu ko Laga Ki Ye to Bahot Hi-fi Ladki lag rahi hai

Kabi Din Tak Dono Whatsapp Aur Facebook Par Chat Karte Rahe Aur

Dono ko Ek dusre se pyar ho gaya,aur dono ne apne ghar walo ko Shadi ke liye mana Liya.



Pappu Apne Mummy Papa Ke Sath Sagai (Engagement) karne us Ladki Ke Gow Aur Ghar Gaya,Ladki Ke ghar Walo Ne pappu Aur uski Family Ka Shawgat Kiya, Fir Pappu Ne Ladki Ki Maa Se Pocha



Pappu – Aunty ,Krutika Kaha Hai

Ladki Ki Maa Boli – Beta Vo Kheto Me Tatti Karne Gayi Hai Bus Aati Hi Hogi..



o.O ye sunte hi Pappu ki Bolti Bandh Ho Gayi





Thodi Der Baad Jab krutika Tatti karke vapas Aayi To Usse Dekte hi Pappu Coma Me Chala Gaya ???? ????



Note – Krutika Dikne ME Comedy Nights Wit Kapeel ki Palak Ki Tarah Thi ???? ????





Moral – Facebook ki ladkiyo Par Jada Vishwas Na Kare , Aisa Dhoka Aapke sath Ho b sakta hai ???? ????Related

Akpors return from his working place as he reached house is mother told him that he should cut the fish into half so that he will take one and leave the other so keep not to eat the fish dat next day is going to eat the fish fully not half again but when akpors woke up next day the rat has eat all the fish na the fish bone remain.akpors they cry now.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-02 08:40:39

882 Views




ANGELS 10



"Rescue me me o LORD from this people.I don't wanna die like my friends and other people that died.GOD please if you save me from this situation I will never again go back to my old ways.I will always pray and I shall serve you forever.just please save me.i promise I will do all this I said" Racheal prayed in her heart with tears on and in her face,soul and mind.
Rachael was a lady in her early twenties.she was in need of help because she was in a big case of death.
It all started on Wednesday 26 of july 2006.she was invited to a party filled with people of her age.her mum and dad are People who fear GOD very much.they we actually pastors. she had no respect for GOD or her parent.her parent warned her not to go but she didn't listen to them.instead she blasted out screaming at them.her dad bent his head in shame because he couldn't believe that he had lost the ability to control his own daughter........(ANGEL talking)that is how GOD feels when you humans disobey him.it is seriously hurtful believe me............
The party was to hold on the 28. Friday from 10pm until dawn.she had planned to go stay with a friend called ify on the 28th so that they could go together.ify stayed 8 blocks away from hers and they were very close friends
ify was a girl who once was a good girl but after she was introduced to Racheal by a friend named Daniela.she became as bad,nasty and naughty as racheal.
The day came for the party and racheal was fully ready for it.she even went to the market a day before the party, to buy a new clothe that she would wear to the party.she had already planned that she would move out the house by 12noon to ify's house.her morning went on smoothly but slow.she couldn't wait until 12noon so she decided to leave the house by 10:30am.she packed the clothe she bought inside her middle sized hand bag that she kept beside her bed.
After she was done packing, her bag was filled with the new clothe,shoe and money plus other girlish stuffs. she zipped it close and went to take her bath.as she was taking her bath. her phone rang uncontrollable on her bed.she quickly took her bath so that she could come out and know the caller was.
She came out of the bathroom leaving a trademark of foam on her left ear.she went to her bed and picked the phone up.she saw 5 missed calls. when she checked the name is was ify.she unlocked her phone then called ify back.they both discuss for 6mins which made her phone a little bit hot.she dropped her phone after they both talked.she went back to the bathroom.to brush her teeth then she came out and applied Cream, got dressed and applied make up.she took her bag and phone which was on her bed then she left her room and head to the parlour after locking her room.when she got to the parlour her mum and dad were not there.they went out.she walked pass the parlour and moved out side closing The door behind her.she got out side then she remembered that she forgot her sun glasses.so she went back to get it.she got to her room and her sun glasses was on the shelf where she left it.she picked it up and left the house.she locked the gate with the spare key that she had.she didn't want to trek to ify's house so she stoped a bike man who was going down her street.
She got to ify house and knocked on her door.ify came out and unlock her door to let her in.as she entered they both started talking of how they will rock the party and other silly stuffs they would do.in the afternoon they both went to see a friend that would follow them to the party.they all agreed that they would leave by 9:30pm.Ify and Racheal stayed there until around 7pm then they left to go get dressed for the party.
Racheal and ify to home then they moved into action by getting dressed up.racheal brought out the gown and shoe she planned to wear to the party.The gown was short and blue in colour .while her shoe was a 4inches high heel and it was red in colour.after she got dressed,she looked at herself in The mirror then she smile.ify and racheal with the other friend left for the party by 9:30pm as they planed.
The other friend had a car so they all boarded into the car and drove to the party in style and class.they got to the party by 9:50pm.the place was a very big place.but it was an under ground house.they parked and went straight in.as they walked people where just steering at them.they got to the door leading to the underground part of the house. they pulled the door open and went in.there was a staircase drop down from the door to the floor.they walked majestically until they got to the floor.the time was now 10.00pm so the dj started the music.people where still coming in.the music was on a middle level sound of loudness.racheal and her friends took drinks which got them turned on to dance.......THANK YOU FOR READING THIS STORY.........story by DINDY.....WhatsApp number:07087750433....facebook namessy nnamdi
PLEASE DO NOT SHARE WITHOUT TELLING ME

EPISODE 10 CONTINUES....... the time was now 11:27pm and the party was still bubbling. Racheal,ify and the other friend met some guys who where the main host of the party.they all related and exchanged number.the security men locked the door leading out side because they didn't want anyone moving out and they didn't want robbers to get in.as time went on the dj started increasing the music.racheal was looking around and she saw a man wearing a complete black suit with a black shoe and hat..she turned to ify and they both made mockery of the man that wore suit to a hot night party.
5 minutes later racheal saw another man wearing the same suit,shoe and hat.she started feeling uncomfortable.then she saw another and another.now half of the people in the party both male and female were wearing the black suit, shoes and hat.
now it was 12:00 mid night.the light changed to red as the dj killed the music.racheal became very afraid she turned and looked around then she saw that they were only fifteen people that were not wearing the black suit,shoes and hat.she turned over to ify and the other friend.they were shaking in fear.racheal, her friends and the remaining people all ran towards the door.racheal was in the middle running but she fell to her knees when her left high heel plunge into a medium crack on the floor.she quickly pulled off the heels and dropped it there.she hopped with one leg while she tried to remove the other heel.they got to the door and tried pushing it open but it was totally a waste of effort.they all started crying and shouting for help.but it was hopeless because no one could hear them cry or shout out loud.racheal looked at the dj and bar man and they were both in the same dressing like other.she knew that it was a cult group and she was going to die.
They all went down in tears and were forced to kneel down.they brought out a greenish substance for them to drink in a glass cup.they all drink it and fell to sleep.
She wake up the next day still a little bit confused of where she was.she tried standing up but it was hard for her.she noticed that she was tied down.so she turned her head to the left and to the right she saw that all of them had no head.they had all been behead including her friends.she started crying and crying.that was when she started praying to God from her heart and mouth to help her
After 30mins she had two voices talking about how they will throw away the bodies and how they will kill her because her head was not used in the sacrifice .after they talked finish the two huge man came out for where they stood.one of the men untied her while the other stood and watch.after he untied her he took the edge of his cutlass to knock her out.
They threw her into a hole and left her there to die or to be killed by a wild animal.but luckily for her God held her prayer and he sent me to rescue her.
When I got to the hole I disguise myself as a hunter.she was very unconscious and couldn't tell a man from an ant.I jumped down and jumped by up with her at my back.then I took her to where she could enter a car.I dropped her there.before she could say a word.i left then I changed to a young taxi driver.she got fully hold of herself then she stop a taxi.I was the taxi man she stopped.she entered and I drove off.I asked her "where are you going to".but she didn't reply me back instead she first asked where she was.I told her the place where she was. she was totally shock because it would take up to 6 hours to get to the state where she lives.she told he that she didn't have any money.I told her no problem as long as she paid me when she gets to where she is going to.
I drove her for six hours and finally we got to her house .she said "thank you please wait let me go and bring the money".I said to her "remember your promise to GOD".she looked at me with that eyes of "how do you know I made a promise to GOD". she went inside to get the money.I disappeared after she went inside.........
We rescue angel do what we have to do when we have to do it. and why we do it?.well we do it to the glory of GOD......THANK YOU FOR READING THIS STORY.........story by DINDY.....WhatsApp number:07087750433....facebook namessy nnamdi
PLEASE DO NOT SHARE WITHOUT TELLING ME

EPISODE 10 CONTINUES...... GOD the greatest of all gods.the superior being.the most powerful GOD ever.everything Tremble underneath HIS foot.HE is an understanding teacher.HE knows your secret and life pain.you are an open book before HIM.you can't explain HIS accelerating power and understanding.HE knows everything and I mean everything.HE owns beauty.HE owns gold and diamond.HE own powers.we angels are just nothing but HIS creations.HE made us to glorify HIM not for humans to glorify us.HE loves the humans more than us angels.if we angels and the 24 elders pray and song to GOD every single day.who are you not to.who are you not to sake his face and mercy. who are you not to beg for his protection.who are you not to serve HIM................my name is ENTT and my existence is nothing without my GOD the one and only true God of the heavens and galaxies...............................THE END

THIS STORY WAS NOT BASE ON NORMAL THINKING.BELIEVE ME GOD TOLD ME WHAT TO WRITE THROUGH OUT THE STORY.....THANK YOU GUYS FOR READING THIS STORY.THANKS TO ALL MY SUPPORTERS AND TO THOSE WHO BELIEVED IN ME..........MY NAME IS NNAMDI AKA DINDY. I AND MY GOD WROTE THIS STORY.....FEAR GOD MY PEOPLE, FEAR HIM I SAY.....story by DINDY.....WhatsApp number:07087750433....facebook namessy nnamdi
PLEASE DO NOT SHARE WITHOUT TELLING ME



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Some women are so concerned about their husband’s happiness
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that they hire a private detective to find out as to who is responsible for it!Related

WRITE UP BY DINDY: PROMISE
Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this write up.
A word of trust and truth, a word never to be broken, a word of life and death, a word that keeps us alive (after all our bad doings).
A promise should be what you live by, it should be your ground, it should never be miss used, it should be held on to like the last naira in your pocket (I don’t mean it should be what you depend on, what I mean is that you should not play with it).
People make so many promises they can’t keep which is totally bad; if you can’t keep a promise then don’t try to make it (in life you should not hold on to what you can’t handle, or keep, or protect). I have learnt so many things in this life and one of them is when you start something always try to finish it up no matter what the situation may be, or may look like.
Each time you make a promise, you unknowingly place a seal of hope on whosoever you made the promise too.
Life is all about promises, everyone is attached to one promise or the other; Eg: good health, riches, long life, children, food, growth, knowledge, understanding……etc, all are promises given to us by GOD and we could only reach it when we are brought to life.
A Promises is more like an ordainment to human beings, every promise broken by human (for example; a man who was ought to live on earth for over 89 years but live only 37years because he was killed by someone or people, that action breaks a promise) on earth ends badly, and the result could effect a nation.
NEVER EVER LOOK BACK WHEN YOU MAKE A PROMISE BECAUSE EACH PROMISE BROKEN IS A SHATTERED RAY OF HOPE, LIVE BY YOUR PROMISE, LIVE BY YOUR GOOD WORDS, STAND BY THEM, BE A #HIGH FLYER#C.P.M
MY NAME IS NNAMDI AKA DINDY AND I WROTE THIS WRITE UP.LEARN FROM WHAT YOU READ NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND.THANKS FOR READING…WRITE UP BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI………whatsapp/viber number:07087750433…. [email protected]@gmail.com or [email protected] facebook namessy nnamdi…….Skype: 07087750433 or [email protected][email protected]……[email protected]







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Nimat: where are you going? So, you just want to go just like that? Abeg come and top it up jhoor..is it not your baby? Let him drink some of your sperm before going back to his ancestor tomorrow
Me: Sister is outside ooo
Nimat: The door is locked already jhoor…..
Me: This is not the right time to do this now
Nimat: What is not the right time? You better start putting off your cloth now before i go out and tell that dog that you are the one that put me in the family way and you know the consequence of that
She pull down my jean, pull off her cloth totally (both hijab and gown), push me to the bed and started riding me, she was riding me when i remembered someone once told me it was possible to bring down a pregnancy with big deek, i fashion out the best way to hit her hard and i realised is to come from behind. I let her hold the chair in my room and started hitting her hard from behind, i was so full of energy, i was actually hitting her stomach, i though i will start seeing blood but there was nothing like blood rather it was water coming out of her pussy until i released inside her again. She dressed up back and i told my sister that she didn’t tell me who got her pregnant either but i will see some of her friends the following day.
We visited various hospitals the following day after taking excuse from work to attend to some urgent family problem. After visiting the fifth hospital someone describe for us and they also told us that we might lose her life if she tried to abort the pregnancy. Someone describe one hospital for us in Ogbomosho, she came to meet me in the office the second day and i drove there but it was still the same thing they told us, we visited 3 hospitals there and they told us we shouldn’t try it. I called a friend who recommended a drug for me and told me that the only place i can get it is at Oke-Oyi, i drove down to Oke-Oyi and i was able to get the drug for N350.
We were told to use the drug after eating that it will start working exactly 1 hour after using it and the thing will come down on it on. I was able to convince Nimat before she could use the drug, she used it around 6pm in the evening and everything seems alright till 10pm we all went inside to sleep. I was fast asleep when i had a bang on my phone, it was my senior sister shouting my name that i should come out that Nimat was bleeding, i quickly rush out and there i saw Nimat on bed holding her stomach and shouting, the bed was soaked in blood, i quickly put on my cloth, checked the time and it was around 3am in the morning, we quickly put her in the car and the closest hospital to my house was civil service hospital at commissioner road, we took her there and on sighting her, they said we should take her to Ola-Olu Hospital opposite Stella Obasanjo hall, we quickly rushed her back inside the car and zoomed off to Ola Olu, we brought her out and when the Dr saw her, he said the best thing was for us to take her to University of Ilorin teaching hospital at Oke-Oyi, My sister was already crying as she was with her behind assuring her that everything will be alright, i was on full speed driving towards sango when my sister shouted “Nimat is not breathing again” “she’s not breathing”, i match break, put on the inner light and started calling her name but she was not responding NIMAT IS DEAD.

Read Episode 58

Rehna Chaahte The Saath Unke;

Par Iss Zamane Ne Rehne Na Diya;

Kabhi Waqt Ki Khamoshi Me Khamosh Rahe;

To Kabhi Unki Khamoshi Ne Kuch Kehne Na Diya!Related

Consider this scenario:

You were eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocked over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt .
You harshly scolded your daughter for knocking the coffee cup over. She broke down in tears. After scolding her, you turned to your wife and criticized her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table.
A short verbal battle followed. You stormed upstairs and changed your shirt. Back downstairs you found your daughter had been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She eventually missed the school bus. Your wife must leave immediately for work. You rushed to the car and drove your daughter to school. Because you were late, you drove 80km/hr above 60km/hr speed limit. After a 15 minute delay and eventually having to pay traffic fine, you arrived at your
daughter's school. Your daughter ran into the school premises without saying good-bye. You arrived at your office 20 minutes late only to discover you forgot your briefcase at home.
Your day has started terribly already. As it continued, it seemed to get worse and worse. You transfered the aggression on your customers and subordinates in the office. You looked forward to going home. When you arrived home, you found a small wedge in your relationship with your wife and daughter because of how you reacted in the morning.
.
The question now is, what or who
created the bad day?
A) The coffee
B) Your daughter
C) Your wife
D) The road safety officer
E) You
The answer is You. Yes, you!
You had no control over what
happened with the coffee, but YOUR REACTION to the little scenario created the bad day.
HERE IS WHAT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED:
.
Coffee splashed over you. Your
daughter was about to cry. You gently said "It's OK honey, you just need to be more careful next time". You rushed upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase. You came downstairs in time, looked through the window and saw your child getting into the school bus. She turned and waved. You and your wife kissed before you both went to work. You arrived 5 minutes early and cheerfully greeted the staffs. Your boss commented on how good a day you were having.
Do you notice the difference?
Two different scenarios both started the same way, but ended differently. Why? Because of YOUR REACTION. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% is determined by YOUR REACTION.
HERE ARE SOME WAYS TO APPLY THE PRINCIPLE.
1.) If someone says something
negative about you, don't be upset.
Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the
negative comment affect you. React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend or relationship, being fired,
getting stressed out, etc.
2.) How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound the steering wheel till it falls off? Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try
and bump them? Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry
about it.
3.) You were told you lost your job. Must you lose your life as well? Use your "worrying" energy and time into finding another job. Everything will normalize again.
4.) The plane is late. It is going to
mangle your schedule for the day.
Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passengers, etc. Why get stressed out?
It will only make things worse...
Now you know the 90/10 principle.
Never waste time laying emphasis on what went wrong, or who should be blamed, activate the "solution mode" immediately.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-16 01:08:07

351 Views



April fool [Read it]


In Abuja, An Atheist(one who believes there is no
God) brought up a case against the upcoming
Christmas Holiday. He hired a Lawyer to bring a
discrimination case against Christians and
Muslims concerning observation of their Holy
Days. The Argument was that it was unfair that
Atheists had no such recognised days. The case
was brought before (The Judge) Akpos. After
listening to the passionate presentation by the
Lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel declaring;
"Case Dismissed". The Lawyer quickly stood up,
objecting to the ruling and said; Your honour,
how can you possibly dismiss this case? The
Christians have Christmas, Easter and Others.
The Muslims have Id-el-kabir, Id-el-fitri and
Others. But my client and other Atheists have no
such holidays. (The Judge) Akpos leaned forward
in his chair and said; Your client and other
Atheists have. Is just that your client is woefully
ignorant. The Lawyer said; Your honour, we are
unaware of any special observance or holiday for
Atheists. (The Judge) Akpos said; The Calendar
says April 1st
is April Fools day. Psalm 14 verse 1 says, The
fool says in his heart, there is no God. It is the
opinion of this court that, if your client says there
is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is
his day.
How Many Like For Akpos


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-30 11:17:28

814 Views




The greatest mental principle is that you become what you think about most of the time







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-04-20 01:56:16

187 Views




Isabella: come off it;he is not my type,he is so cunning and too uptight but he can be caring;loving and......
Zippor: Bella
Isabella: what?
Zippor: you are having a crush on him
Isabella: Crush,crush,anyway Katherina why are you here
Joy: Isabella;don't avoid the question
Isabella: Joy;there are something that are better let unsaid than saying it;so tell us why are you here?
Katherina: dad want to see all of us
Zippor: like all his children?
Isabella: go on;what are you waiting for?
Zippor: aren't you coming?
Isabella: dont be funny;i am not your dad's daughter;so he doesnt need me
Katherina: but he said....
Isabella: hold on;i know where you are going to;he is not my dad and he can never be my dad;fine he is.....(she pause)what did i want to say?i just cant remember;just go ahead
Zippor: are you sure you will be fine?
Isabella: come on;go ahead;big brother
Katherina: alright we go ahead
Isabella: bye
Zippor: make sure you take care of yourself
Isabella: i will;just go on(exit)
Joy: your brother really love you
right?
Isabella: yes;before now we don't get along but when he became more mature,he started showing me love and care and whenever dad hurt me;he will always defend me;he protect me;tease me when i am sad;but i love it because he give me reason to smile;he make me happy and whenever i am with him i feel like the world should stand still;do you know it feels so good to have a big brother who truly love you and make you feel like a princess?
Joy: Isabella
Isabella: what?
Joy: do you love him?
Isabella: of cause;i deeply love him
Joy: even when he is not your biological brother?
Isabella: what makes one your brother?is it because you are related by blood?no;is the fact that they have truly play the role of a good brother to you. so it doesn't matter if he is not my biological brother;what really matter is what we regards ourselves
Joy: but
Isabella: dont worry i dont have any intention of changing the fact that he is my brother;so excuse me(exit)
Joy: i dont know what kind of girl she is?in as much as i don't like her;when she is still Zippor's sister,i hate her more now that the truth is out (curtain)
Zeal: Zuriel
Zuriel: yes dad
Zeal: i and your mom had decided to sent you out of the state
Zuriel: what?
Zeal: you have no option,you are leaving just pack your bags;you are leaving tomorrow
Zuriel: but dad what will happen to me?my friends?i don't want to leave my siblings behind;i don't want to go;please dad
Zeal: i have made up my mind and that is my decision
Zuriel: obedient,come on beg dad for me,i dont want to go;please dad;if it is because of Dedo?i swear i could break up with her,just let me stay;i beg you
Zeal: if you break up with Dedo;what about Isabella?
Zuriel: dad she is not my girlfriend
Zeal: yes;for now,maybe in future,i wouldn't want to see my son been distracted over some low life bitch
Zuriel: dad you are insulting her(he raise his voice)
Zeal: you are shouting at me?
Zuriel: i am sorry dad

Zeal: get out of my sight and make sure you pack your bags(exit Zuriel)stupid boy
Obed: please;don't let him leave
Zeal: will you keep quiet and get out of my sight(curtain)
Joab: where is Isabella?
Zippor: what do you want to do with her?remind her of her predicament?or torture her?which one of them?now i get;pack her bags for her?don't worry i could do that for her
Joab: that is not what i want to do.i want to beg for her forgiveness
Zippor: there is no need for that,it is too late to cry when the head is off
Joab: Zippor;i know i hurt you also,please forgive me;i am really sorry
Katherina: is okay dad,we forgive you;right Lola and Zippor?
Lola:yes
Zeal: what about you son?
Zippor: that is one thing;i will never give you,if i were you,i will stop wishing for it(he turn to leave)
Joab: i am your father
Zippor: yes you are my father,is one fact that i regret but so painful that i cant choose my dad(exit ZIPPOR)
Joab: Zippor;come back here
Lola: dad let him go,he will be fine
Joab: do you think he will forgive me?
Katherina: yes;he will,it's just with time
Joab: i am really sorry(curtain)
Isabella: Zuriel;pick up your call,i beg you,pick it up;i really need someone to talked to before my thought consume me
Zeal: is it she?she is calling you
Zuriel: dad;just let me answer it
Zeal: no way
Isabella: i beg you pick it up(she continue calling)
Zuriel: dad;i beg you let me just answer it
Zeal: oh she even texted you
Zuriel: dad;what does she say?
Zeal: dont bothered;just get into the car(enter Zippor)
Isabella: is this it? at the time i need you most,you just couldn't be here(she throw the phone away)i hate it,i hate life
Joy: thank God you are here,Isabella;have been acting funny
Zippor: what?(he ran to her)Bella;what is it?why are crying?
Isabella: i am not crying(she wiped her tears)are you back?what did your dad said?what grandma said is true;right?don't mind your sister;i am your sister right?so i have the right to take care of you?let me get you something to eat
Zippor: stop this Isabella
Isabella: i am not doing anything bad or am i?am i that bad that everyone doesn't want to talk to me?dad doesnt want to talk to me,even Zuriel maybe he had find out something about me like dad;everyone hate me
Zippor: Isabella;stop it;i am still here
Isabella: you wouldn't leave me;right?
Zippor: i wouldnt;go on;take your drugs(she take the drugs and fell asleep)i just hope my sister will pull through
Joy: definitely;she will(she kissed him)
Zippor: stop it Joy;i am not ready for this;i am still too young for this
Joy: i am sorry
Zippor: is okay(curtain)
Obedient: we will missed you
Zuriel: i will miss you too
Ada: dont forget to write us or call
Zuriel: i wouldn't;you all take good care of yourselves
Obed: i will missed you Zuriel
Zuriel: i will missed your teasing,goodbye mom
Alice: goodbye(he hugged his dad)
Zuriel: goodbye dad,i pray you forgive me
Zeal: good bye(curtain)
Katherina: its been three years,since we list our mom and grandma to the cold hands of death,live as move on but the space they left behind has never be filled;i am done with my studies;Zippor now have a girlfriend called Joy;Joy is a very understanding person but every time she and Zippor had issues,is always because of Isabella,she is always jealous of his closeness with her
Joy: Zippor;who have that gown?is it for me?
Zippor: no;i bought it for Isabella
Joy: why?
Zippor: she is my baby sister;if i dont buy her clothes;who will?and i dont want her to run after boys
Joy: she is grown up;you don't need to continued treating her like a baby
Zippor: oh! please spare me that;she is only seventeen she is not grown up
Joy: a seventeen years old girl is old enough to get married and she is not even your sister
Zippor: drop it Joy
Joy: is it not the fact
Zippor: i said drop it
Joy: if i don't what will you do?am i saying the wrong thing?is she your sister?no

Zippor: i cant believe i am having this conversation(exit Zippor)
Katherina: is funny how fate played a fast one on us;Lola is in high school;she will soon be a graduate and Isabella;she couldnt continued her education because she doesnt want anything from dad,life wasn't easy for her but in all her difficulties,Zippor was her back bone;the day she pack her bags to leave after the burial of grandma was the worse day for everyone of us,i could never forget that day(flashback)

Lola: princess;where are you going
Isabella: to look for my root
Lola: but you belong here
Isabella: there are something that are not true,even if you force them,it will never work,so just let me go
Lola: Katherina;tell her to stay
Isabella: don't push it,will you rather i live like a princess?when in a real sense i am a slave,i just need to go
Joab: you dont have to leave;i am still your father
Isabella: my father?i don't think you know what you are saying,i am not your daughter
Joab: i don't have to give birth to you before i become one,all i need is to love you
Isabella: you dont need to prophesy those love to me;is not needed,i begged you not for anything but just for your love and protection nothing more;is it too hard for you to love me?even if i am not your daughter,just what happen to all the love you prophesy to me when i am still a baby?did they just disappeared when you find out i am not your child or you were just pretending?
Joab: i am sorry(he tried to hold her)
Isabella: you don't have to give me that anymore because you are not obligated to
Zippor: Isabella are you done
Isabella: of cause
Lola: you are leaving too?
Zippor: yes;i cant stand father;lets go
Joab: son
Zippor: i am not your son
Katherina: (present)it was hard and painful but we have to,all i pray for now,is for our family to be together;to be hold again;i just prayed it come true(curtain)


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Confession! [Read it]


A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
“You will understand,” he said, “the seal of the confessional, can never be broken. However, I got my first impressions of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I can only hint vaguely about this, but when I came here twenty-five years ago I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had stolen a television set, and when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. Further, he told me he had embezzled money from his place of business and had an affair with his boss’s wife. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that, and I had, indeed come to, a fine parish full of understanding and loving people.”
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk.
“I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in this parish,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.”Related

Written by Naijaboiy…

March 26th,, 2008.
6:42pm.
It was a very dark and cold evening. The
sky had
just finished reminding the residents of
benin city
that it has lost it’s child with a heavy
downpour.
The sun had set so quickly,,like it was in a
hurry to
attend the funeral and the moon was no
where to
be found either.
Down in the streets of ekosodin,,it was as
quiet as
a grave yard. You could hear your
neighbour
breathe in the next house. The town of
ekosodin is
known to be one of the most dangerous
and
dreaded towns in the city of benin.
Nobody dare walk along the street in the
dark
except you are a MACH. This was also the
territory
of one of the most feared confraternity in
Benin
City “The Cobras”
In newton street,, two groups of men were
coming
towards each other. One from the left made
up of
two men and the other from the right
consisting of
four men. They were both walking steadily
and at
alert. In case of any move to attack from
the
opposite direction.
Slowly and steadily they walked until they
met in
front of the Newton hostel. Newton Hostel
is one
of the many lodges that students stay off
campus.
The bright light from the fluorescent shone
on both
groups and they could see each others
faces.
Nobody was smiling….
“So you get the liver to carry your two legs
reach
this cabal abi? You nor dey fear again?”
Asked Zick. With a dangerous smile on his
face.
Zick was the capon of “The cobras”. He was
tall,,well built and dark. The upper part of
his lip
was slightly deformed which made it look
like he
always smiled. The deformity of his lip
comes with
a story though.
Zick was well feared amongst the members
of his
confraternity and he was also well known in
the
confraternity world. He really worked and
fought
hard to earn that respect for himself. This
is
because when he joined “The cobras” they
were at
war with a rival group called “The lynxx”. It
was a
very big war and “The cobras” were at the
losing
side. They had lost 19 members and many
others
had to flee for safety. Zick was brave
enough to
organise and lay an ambush with 7 other
brave
mach men against the top members of “The
lynxx”.
It was in the heat of a gun fight with the
capon of
the rival group that he sustained the injury
which
has come to stay forever.
“Capo make I sample them sharp sharp. No
time to
waste time. Body dey hot”
Said Jack,,Zick’s most trusted wing man.
As he
cocks his gun and points it at the two men.
The capon signalled him to be quiet with a
stop
sign from his hand.
The two men from the other group belonged
to
another confraternity known as “The
Wolves”. They
were Obaz and Alberto;also known as
scarface.
Alberto was a very short and stout guy. He
hailed
from the north and he was very good with
knives.
There is a story that he single handedly
fought and
killed two men who were with guns when
they
attacked him at his house. He also had a
very
sharp reflex and could throw a knife before
one
could pull out his gun. Scar face kills
ruthlessly and
makes sure that an internal organ comes
out of his
opponent’s body whenever he fights at
close range.
That was how good and devilish he was.
He got his nickname “scar face” after a
fight with
another knife wielding fighter back in the
north. He
ran to benin city after killing the opponent
for fear
of being killed by his followers. His name
was “tom
Daggers”
As usual,,he was wielding two daggers in
his hands
ready to strike at anyone who makes a
move. He
also had with him four pocket knives
hidden at
different positions on his body where he
could
easily access.
Obaz who had been calm and quiet all
these while
with his left hand inside his
jacket,,caressing his
shot gun opened his mouth to speak.
” I came here with a message”
“And that message is for you alone zick.”
“But anyone of these fools who wants to go
down
with you can as well join you”
Obaz spoke calmly as he points to the
other three
men standing behind zick.
“Don’t make me laugh obaz”
Zick replied; smiling.
“You are still the little boy I know”
“You have always been like a younger
brother to
me,,but now i’ve seen that you have grown
wings. I
laugh at your stúpidity.”
Zick had always known obaz from their
childhood
days. He was the friend of obaz’s elder
brother
Daniel osato or Osas. But things went very
sour
when they all got into the university and
Daniel lost
his life in a fight between the rival
confraternity
zick belonged to. Obaz believed zick was
responsible for it.
“Those wings which I have grown will make
me fly
and i’ll triumph over you”
Obaz replied.
Jack again pointed his gun in a bid to
shoot at
obaz but alberto was quick to stand in
obaz’s way
raising his knife in a swift second at jack’s
neck.
Zack spoke again.
“Tell your man to calm down obaz. You are
greatly
outnumbered and surrounded.”
“Look at all these men around you”
he uses his hand to direct obaz’s attention
to
various dark hideouts where some men
were
coming out from.
“I for don use you do suya now now but I
nor dey
fight like that. I wan make you prepare well
for
your death so that I go dey justified say I
fight you
well”
He continued talking in pidgin with a
higher tone
this time.
Obaz then beckoned on scarface to
withdraw his
knife and then he removed his left hand
from his
jacket and handed a little piece of red
paper to
zick.
It was encrypted….
“THE FEET SHALL ALWAYS TRAMPLE
UPON THE
HEAD OF THE SNAKE”
And they both walked away,,fading into the
dark.
To Be Continued…

>> Part 2 -

JOKE PART 68 BY DINDY
:.............
Girl: Dindy guess what?.
Dindy: What?.
Girl: I just got a new iphone 7.
Dindy: Sweet.
Girl: Yea.
Dindy: Wait.
Dindy: what was sold?.
Dindy: liver, lungs or kidney or virginity? ....

DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 69.








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-12-14 22:02:05

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Strange dreams [Read it]


Akpors’ young wife was taking an
afternoon nap on the day before
valentines.
After she woke up, she told her husband
Akpors, “honey, I just had the most
amazing dream. I dreamed that you gave
me a diamond necklace for Valentine’s
Day. What do you think it means?”
Akpors looked at her sternly and replied:
“You’ll know tonight.”
That evening, Akpors came home with a
small package and gave it to his wife. She
could not contain her joy as she
delightedly thanked him and ripped the
package carefully, only to find a book
titled “Strange Dreams and their
meanings.
Akpors is still in the hospital as at the
time of this report.
One word for Akpors this time around?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-08 10:23:37

284 Views



weeding card [Read it]


Be careful wu prints your weeding
programme.
Akpos, who was printing a weeding
programme was asked to put 1 john 4:18
in the programme but he made a mistake
and instead printed john 4: 18.
1 john 4:18 says, there is no fear in love;
but perfect love casts out fear, becux fear
has torment. He that fears is nt made
perfect in love”
John 4:18 reads, 4 u hve had five husband,
and he whom you nw hve z nt your
husbnd.
.
go to my blog @
Emmexcity.blogspot.com
or send your jokes to
[email protected]
if you want your joke to be on my blog.
thank you


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-13 15:02:41

622 Views




WARNING:

Drinking alcoholic beverages before pregnancy can cause pregnancy!Related

make up [Read it]


na only makeup wit mak u date 1 gal 2tyms morning nd nite. wen she no makeup her name na chioma, in d nite ha name na chibaby


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-07 13:21:40

357 Views




Two days after Jboy’s burial, i made up my mind to go
back to my apartment but Chioma fought very hard to
prevent me from leaving.
“what’s pursuing you from my home. Isn’t it better you continue staying with me until you settle issues with
Mary” she protested,
“you are right baby, but don’t worry. I can take care of
myself. I can’t continue hiding from her. I don’t want to
give the impression that i’m scared. I equally plan on
visiting her this evening” i explained. She breathed deeply and shrugged.
“very well then, but i don’t see the sense in hurrying to
leave my apartment which you know is very safe” she
murmured with resignation. I kissed and hugged her.
On getting to my apartment later in the day, i was
informed by a neighbour that two ladies checked up on me the previous day. The descriptions i was given
matched that of Mary and her sister. I was a bit nervous
over the information.
I couldn’t imagine what was their plan, showing up at
my house but refusing to answer my phone-calls.
“What are they up to?” i wondered. By 7:30pm, i freshened up, dialled Mary’s phone
number again but as usual she refused answering. I
cursed under my breathe, grabbed my car keys and
headed out of my apartment.
My mind raced wildly as i drove towards Mary’s house. I
was uncertain of the fate that awaited me there. My spirit was weak but i was determined to reach a
compromise with her.
The only thing i prayed for, was to meet Mary alone in
the house. I couldn’t stand her elder sister and i had no
doubt that things would turn out badly if i was unlucky
to meet the obnoxious lady. As I got close to Mary’s apartment, i called Chioma to
tell her about my movement and equally hear her
sweet reassuring voice but unfortunately she didn’t
answer my phone call. I breathed deeply, dropped the
phone and drove on.
Exactly ten minutes later. I arrived at Mary’s place, knocked nervously on the door and prayed silently. The
door was soon flung open by no other person than
Mary’s obnoxious sister. She frowned on seeing me
while i smiled politely.
My phone rang that moment, drawing my attention.
I stared at it for a while, not sure to answer the call or not, since it was Chioma who was calling.
“hey how far” i finally answered, but the voice that
spoke to me wasn’t Chioma’s,
“good evening sir, your friend just had a car accident.
Please can you come over to St. James hospital, at
hospital road. I hope you know the place? Our sign post is lighted, once you get to hospital road, just drive
straight you will see the place” a female voice
announced, sending cold shiver down my spine.
“hello sir! Are you there?” i heard the caller ask,
“yeah i’m coming right away” i replied and hung up,
while Mary’s sister scanned me with her cold annoying eyes.
Chioma never told me she was going anywhere that
fateful evening, and I couldn’t help but wonder how the
accident could have happened.
“First it was Jboy, now Chioma. What’s happening?” i
wondered as i stood facing Mary’s sister.


>>

T? ???? ? ?????? ????,
E?????, ??? ??s? ???? ? T??? L???? G?????? ???? A?? F?????s,
O?, O?? ??s? ???? ? T??? F????? ??? R????? C???s,
M??? ???? ? L????… ????Related

Biola: why are you so particular about
him..i believe
Mary was better on bed than me too, that’s
why you
settled for her and was banging her in and
out…Gist
me sef, how was s*x with Mary cos have
been
thinking of it
Me: s*x with Mary will never be as
interesting as
doing it with you, I was only playing
around with her,
you are always the best in terms of
satisfaction…..have always had the craziest
s*x with
you baby, remember the last time we had
s*x in this
car, it was mind blowing baby, it was just
like this in
my compound, a very risky one for that
matter after
we both arrived home late in the night, it
was as if we
were drunk but we were not, even though it
was a
short one but it was crazy, I missed all
those
wonderful moment baby
“ I noticed Biola was just starring at me like
someone
who was lost in thought”
Instead of calling her attention, I decided to
go a step
forward by placing my mouth on her lips,
she was
didnt hesitate nor responded for like 5
seconds until i
moved my right hand over her neck and
held her
second hand with my left hand, she
regained her
conciousness immediately and before i
knew what
was happening, she responded fully by
removing her
own hand and placing it on my neck.
I shifted a bit forward, adjusted d seat
downward
while using the opportunity to cross over to
her side
by resting on her, little kiss turned to full
blown
romance and within 5 mins i was already
pant down
on her, it was not until i raised up her
gown i realized
she wasnt even putting on any undies, no
pant nor
bra at all…..we both loss control and before
we knew
it, my dickson was already inside her going
up and
down, i was digging it seriously, there was
no too
much sound as i clip her mouth with my
lips, i was so
carried away that i poured everything
inside her,
didnt even think about condom or anytyn
neither did
i think of the consequence of my action as
at that
moment.
I stopped after like 10 minutes while still
resting on
her then Biola bursted into tears
Biola: Have missed u baby
Me: have missed you too…..life without you
is
meaningless, am so sorry for all i caused
Biola:Am sorry for abandoning you too….i
know you
made mistake, i shouldnt av listened to
your mum, i
should have stayed by you
Me: i never stop loving you baby
Biola: same here…..i still love u and will
always do
Me: pls find a place in your heart to forgive
me
baby…
Biola:you are forgiven already baby….dont
just know
wat will happen next, i tried to do away
with you,
your thought and evrytyn but the more i do
the more
i keep loving you baby
Me: same here with me baby….i love u so
much baby
Biola: I love you too baby…….i guess u
should start
going home, its late already…this is past 10
Me: i wish i can stay with u……..
Biola: common, u nid to go to your wife
jhoor…..dont
4get 2nyt is ur wedding nyt
Me: which wife?
Biola:which wife noni…..abeg put on the
light lemme
adjust myself jhoor
“i put on the inner light”
Biola: wow…..your seat is stained with
blood
Me: blood ke? 4rm where…..
Biola:even your white sef…..look at your
cloth, blood
stain all over your cloth
Me:wow……..this is serious…..where is this
from?
Biola: today is my last day, never knew
blood will still
come out
Me:and u didnt tell me?
Biola:why should i? Lets go and clean this
up at my
place…its just the nxt street here
Me: ok
Never knew we were close to her house
until she
pointed to the house in black gate, we didnt
even
drive up to two minutes. We got to the
house and she
opened d gate for me to drive in as she
suggested it
was too dark for us to stay outside.
The house was a storey builfing with flats
but she
occupied d BQ behind the main building, we
entered
and it was a room and parlour sef contain.
She
quickly dashed inside to change her own
cloth to
something a bit more casual like a night
wear
revealing all her body shape.
She brought out soap and foam for us to
clean the
car seat, we went together to do that, came
back
inside while i offloaded my cloth and gave
it to her. I
chevked my phone and say 27 missed calls,
most of
them from Mary and my mum. I put my
fone in
silence.
She help me spread my cloth outside as
there was no
light, while waiting for the cloth to dry, she
asked wat
i will eat and decided to make noodles for
us to eat.
After eating, i requested to take my bath
and she led
me to the bathroom in her room, i didnt
even think
twice before pulling off my cloth and totally
unclad
while in her room, i remembered she was
not bold
enough to look at me as she pretended
spreading her
bed.
I grabbed her from behind, turn her over to
me and
started kissing her, she responded. From
kissing,i
went further by removing her cloth and we
were both
unclad. Didnt take long before i started
digging her
again going up and down with lots of
energy, it was a
full blown s*x as if she was ready for me.
Biola gave
it to me like never before, it was as if i was
not
coming back again and for the first time in
my sexual
life, i got tired before a lady and pleaded to
rest.”who
will blame me after going tru so much
stress since
morning”.
We went to the bathroom together, took our
bath and
by the time we were totally through, it was
10mins to
12.., we decided to rest on bed…….
Biola: thanks so much baby
Me: thanks for giving me another chance
Biola: uwc baby….but am scared and worry
baby
Me:i know your worry but its nothing
jhoor…there’s
nothing to worry about
Biola: nothing to worry about? What will
happen to
us?Me specifically
Me: good things will happen to us baby…
let’s put
evrytyn in God’s hand, i trust him to do the
best for
us….
Biolahk ooooo……but i cant let go ofu ooo
Me: if i can, will i be here with you on my
wedding
night?
Biola:uhmmmm…..thanks for putting smile
on my
face baby
Me:thanks to you too ifemi…..so, gist me,
what about
your guy that suppose to be home anything
from
9pm
Biola: he is still coming now and he can
come in any
moment……so, u believe its so easy to give
another
guy a chance with what am going through
Me: uhmmmmm……i for fear, now my
mind with at
rest. So, is there any guy out there?
Biola:guy ke? Nobody oooo…..never knew
we will end
up like this 2nyt, had to put that up so that
you wont
think am desperate to see you
Me: you are not serious…i love you baby
(with a kiss )
Biola: i love u too…..got this place after yhe
incident
as i couldnt stay at home, moreover here is
even a bit
closer to my office
We gisted about so many things, we ended
the night
with another round of s*x around 2am and
slept off.
I woke up around past 8 in the morning,
Biola was
already up and i saw my cloth in the
room…i went
out of the bedroom and met her in the
kitchen
cooking, we greeted with a kiss while she
excused
herself to prepare the bathroom for me.
Took my bath , dressed and took breakfast. I
check
my phone and saw 67 missed calls, my
battery was
almost drained. 90% of the call was from
Mary. I
started driving home and was thinking of
the lie i will
put up once am home….i got home around
10am, i
knock at the door and was surprise to meet
my
parent and Mary in the sitting room
To Be Continued…



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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