Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


The statement from my dad was like
putting petrol in already burning fire, I
know my dad very well that it takes the
grace of God to to change his mind once
he made his decision and since he said
he wasn’t going back there and wont allow my mum to go back, I knew he
mean it and the only way my mum can
go is going behind him. What if he
eventually find out that my mom goes
behind him, it might cause serious
problem. I got home later in the evening and
initiated a chat with Biola
Me: Whats up boo
Biola: Am fine baby boy..please am eally
sorry for what happened in the morning
Me: No problem dear
Biola: I will find time during the week to
come and apologize to mom and dad
Me: no problem dear..we will definitely
go together
Biola: Thanks honey Me: So, how far with popsy? Any luck
with him
Biola: he is still adamant oooo…seriously
that we wont give his consent and if I
want to force it, I should bear the
consequence.
Me: wow…that’s serious, what of
mumsy?
Biola: she’s on our side and has given
her consent but you know my dad his
hard to break, the blood of a general is
still running in him
Me: But I thought they said when one is
getting old, u leave behind your
youthful character
Biola: Not like my dad ooooo……so, hw
about mum and dad? Hope they didn’t
feel insulted
Me: Uhmmmmmm
Biola: Whats hmmmmm? Please talk to
me baby
Me: It was just like the same thing
happening to you..dad felt insulted and
embarrassed but mom took it lightly
Biola: So, how far with him?
Me: Who?
Biola: dad of course… Me: Well..just exactly like what your dad
is saying too……….. Biola: That he wont give his consent?
Me: except we are getting married
compulsorily
Biola: wow….this is serious issue
oooo……..am confused Me: Confuse myself too….i don’t even
know what to do but mum is still trying
to talk to popsy to soften his mind
Biola: Have spoken to mom and we
agreed that we will involve popsy’s
mum, that’s the only person he fears
most and will always do whatever she
asked of him
Me: well, that’s good…..maybe I will
adopt that too with my dad cos I believe
he also respect his mum so much too…
so, what is the plan baby Biola: we will be going to her place on
Saturday, explain everything to her and
bring her down to our house to talk to
dad
Me: Ohk dear..i will call mum too to
explain this plan to her..we will see
tomorrow now baby? Biola: yes baby, after work..i love you so
much baby
Me: I love you too dear…Good night dear I ended the chat with Biola and started
thinking and prayed for quick
resolution, I called my mum to find out
if my popsy mind has soften down but
she told me that he didn’t even want to
discuss the issue with her again but I should relax my mind that everything
will be fine in no time. I brought up the
issue of involving my grandmother
which she objected to. In her own word
“don’t worry yourself too much about
that, your dad is my husband, I know how to get things I want from him, all
our efforts should be on Biola’s dad for
now.



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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The blind man [Read it]


A blind man went to a restaurant .
"Menu sir?" Asked the owner.
"I'm blind. Just bring me one of your dirty forks.. I will
smell it & order."
The confused owner got a fork.

The blind man smelt the fork with a deep breath.
"Yes, I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables
"Unbelievable! " thought the owner.


The blind man ate and left.
2
weeks later, the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to see how good
his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was
cooking.

He said, "Do me a favor and rub this fork over your privates!!", which she does!
He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork.

The blind man takes it, puts it to his nose and says "Oh interesting..!! ! , I never knew Brenda worked here!! :
Owner fainted..


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-08 19:53:00

860 Views



Akpos d killer [Read it]


A movie producer was using someone's house to shoot
a movie.
They needed someone to act the role of a Gate-Man.
The House-Boy of the
house Akpos was offered some money to act the role.
The director gave Akpos a brand new cutlass and told
him to give a pretense
chase behind the star actor who was acting the role of
a thief.
The Director said; If you hear me say "action" you
should run after him, just do
as I say. Did you hear me?.
Akpos nodded in affirmation. The Director shouted;
"Action". The star actor
took off N Akpos started chasing him round the
compound.
When they got to the fence, the director shouted; "Cut,
cut, cut".
The star actor's funeral is on friday...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-30 10:08:19

492 Views




Ek baar ek aadmi BANGKOK ja raha tha… uski wife ne… naa chaahte hue bhi use jaane ki permission de di.


Jis din wo ghar se nikal raha tha… jaate jaate usko wife ne bulaaya aur 12 condoms ka ek packet dekar boli: Jaanu, ise rakh lo, agar dil kare toh…”


Husband: Nahin darling, iski zaroorat nahin padegi.


Wife: Rakh bhi lo na jaanu, kahin mann ho gaya kuch karne ka toh ?

Aadmi khush ho jata hai aur sochta hai, “Waah kya biwi mili hai!”


Achaanak uski wife awaaz de kar usko phir bulati hai aur kehti hai, “Ruko, usmein se 2 mujhe de do… kahin mera mann ho gaya toh…”


BC Trip Cancelled…Related

LOVEHACKS

episode 1

Dani make her way to the counter at the san Francisco cafe before the first day of work at her new job, the barita hands her a latte, complete with a recycied paper sleeve and her name written on the side

Dani: thank you,that's not how you spell dani, is danithag even a name ?

A guy in a plaid shirt over by the milk and sweetners flashes you a smile

Evan: they never spell my name right either, I am evan or effin according to my coffee cup

Dani: I an dani

Both gave themselves an handshake

Evan: so, dani, do you take sugar in your coffee? Because I'm pretty sure you're sweet enough as it is.

Dani: you are cuter then you start talking

Evan: ouch, but you do think am cute right?

Dani: maybe but you definitely need to work on your flirting skills.

Evan: and I suppose you are an expert in flirting.

Dani: its kinda my job, so yeah, its my first day at Clickit. you know, viral posts,life hacks, listicles .

Evan: I've heard of it '20 things only 90's kids will understand, that kinda stuff.

Dani: exactly,I'm the newest writer for their love and dating section.

Evan: love and dating,huh? In that case...how am I doing

Dani: that's usually the first indication that you're doing alright, you were confident,but not creepy, your body language was open, but not aggressive, with just the right amount of eye contact before approaching.

Evan: wow anything else

Dani: actually...you've had some thing in your teeth this whole time

Evan immediately covers his mouth making dani to laugh

Dani: kidding, you've done well enough that if you gave me your number, I wouldn't immediately delete it. I might even let you show me around the city sometime.

Evan: it'd be my pleasure

Dani exchange number with Evan who smile the whole time.

Evan: wow, you really are good at this, how is some one like you till single

Dani: dating is fun don't get me wrong, but I'm till looking for the real thing.

Evan: I'm sure you will find it, it might be closer then you think

Dani:maybe

Evan: any chance you're walking my way? I'm headed to the zamble office

Dani: cushy tech job,huh? I'm actually heading the other way, can't be late for my first day on the job.

Both says their goodbye, dani walk into the Clickit office for the first time.

Dani: whoa, what is this place

Martin: you must be dani, I'm Martin, editor in chief here at Clickit, this way, we're about to start our daily stand up

Dani:daily what

Martin:I don't know how they do things on the east coast,but out here, we host a meeting east morning so all the writers can sync up.

Martin leads you to a brightly decorated lounge area where several men are already sitting on bean bag chairs

Martin: not the sort of vibe you're use to, huh?

Dani: open spaces,modern docor...everything is so hip and chic...

Dani try to settle onto a bean bag but immediately sink deeply into the push

Dani: although, maybe there's such a thing as too comfortable.

Tj: a chich on the staff for a minute and already she's sucking up, typical woman

Dani:excuse me?!

Felix: hey, tj , can you turn down the douche? She just got here

Tj: I don't take advice from junior writer, Felix

Martin: bejave now boys, everyone meet our newest Clicker, Dani, she's the head of the new love hacks page, she'll be our resident expert in all things, fashion and romance

Tj: so the girly stuff

Martin: dani knows what she's doing, her personal blog post, "the worst date ever" went legit viral, two million likes, five hundred thousand shares and more retweets than kendal kendal jenner's latest selfie. And I'm sure she has plenty more ideas up her sleeve

Martin looks at dani expectantly ans this made you a little confused

Danih,right! Actually, I'm glad you brought that up, Martin because I have done a lot of brainstorming lately,on how to take a long date and be single.

Tj: ha what are we, a website for ugly people

Dani:ugly people, you mean single women?

Tj:that article would get like negative clicks. But if ypu insist on catering to the uggos, you gotta at least make it snappy something like, "five ways to replace your boyfriend with a body pillow? That sorta thing

Dania little bit hurt) that's... that's actually not bad.

Tj: you know, i'd be happy to help you with some field research,if you love

Martin:field research, that's a great idea

Tjsurprised) it is

Martin: dani can go on dates and write...the 10 Guys you date in your twenties, what do u think

Dani: as long as I don't have to date Tj am in

The group laughs including Martin

Tj: (not happy) you'd be lucky to date a tj

Martin: relax Tj, if Dani keeps dishing it out like this,love hacks will be our new top page, one month should be more than enough time for the articles. I expert to see your progress and notes each week Dani

Dani: you got it

Everyone left to their various place, soon after you settle into your new workplace, a desk clustered together with others in the big open space of the Clickit office, suddenly a knid face leans into view from the workplace next to you.

Felix: hey, I'm Felix. Look like we're desk neighbors, sorry about Tj back there , he can be a jerk sometimes and by that I mean all the time

Dani: I know the type, How and why do people put up with him?

Felix: despite being a human poop emoji, he's actually one of the most clicked writers on our site and he's Martin's favorite

Dani: that is not fair, some one needs to call Martin out, on one should get special treatment for being buddy buddy with the boss.

Felix: hey, people have tried, but what're you gonna do? Martin sign the check and we all trying to get that paper, I immediately regret saying get tha paper, let's pretend I didn't

Dani: striken from the record

Just then a woman strides over, glaring at Felix

Coworker: Felix, did you eat all our horseradish for your stupid video?

Felix:Isabel, yes, I,uh, did! But I also got horseradish challenge fail, trending? And the doctor says my sinuses will heal in no time.

Isabel sighs and turn to dani

Isabel: it's dani, right, I'm Isabel

Both gave handshake

Isabel: don't let felix tope you into any of this video, especially anything that involves wasabi.

Dani: duly noted

Isabel turns and walks away, and dani notice Felix watching as she leaves

NEXT EPISODE





NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Homosexual: Someone trying to widen his friend’s circle.Related

Madea: there you are Lara, I was going to bring your food to your room.
Lara: that won't be necessary, I will be eating with father tonight.
Williams: is anything wrong Lara?
Lara: no, I just want us to have dinner together and have some father-daughter bonding session, that's all. Is anything wrong with that? Or are you too busy to spare sometime for your ailing daughter?
Williams: no of course not. Serve her Madea.
Lara: no please, I'll serve myself. Excuse us now aunty.
Williams: this is very unusual Lara, it's been a long time we ate together.
Lara: actually father, we haven't eaten together since my sister died and u can't help but wonder why.
Williams: you know I'm a very busy person and lately, you haven't been yourself as well.
Lara: you have been busy and I was thinking you've been avoiding me because You think I've gone mad. Tell me father, why do you think dara committed suicide?
Williams: I should be asking you that Lara. After all, you were always with her, you both spent quality time together.
Lara: I don't know and that's why I have to go back to Nigeria, I have to find out.
Williams: so what are you going to do, go to her grave and ask her why she killed herself abi? You have to come back to your senses Lara, I don't want you to end up like your sister......
Lara: I went for the medical test today. Doctor Susan said I should tell you to see her in her office tomorrow morning for the result. I will go back to Nigeria father, with or without you....and whether you like it or not......
Williams: wait, you haven't even touched your meal.
Lara: I'm not hungry!
.......the next day chief William went to see doctor Susan.......
Susan: these are the result of the test carried out on your daughter. There is noting wrong with her medically.
Williams: what about psychologically doctor?
Susan: well, that why I am having those sessions with her. I haven't seen anything wrong with her psychologically yet but maybe as time goes on, I'll find out.
Williams: doctor, this girl keeps asking to be allowed to go back to Nigeria, claiming her dead sister keeps calling her and you say there is noting wrong with her? Is it possible for dead to communicate with the living?
Susan: well, personally, I think she just misses home and she's trying to turn it into a big deal so you can allow her to go.
Williams: if that is the case, then she is not going anywhere.
Susan: you should let her go sir, if this goes on for a longer period of time, she might develop higher levels of psychological disorder. I see no reason why you can't let her go home for the vacation and come back when schools resume. After all, it's not like there won't be a place for her to stay back in Nigeria. You have relatives, don't you?
Williams: well, I do but I don't even trust myself with those relatives how much more an eighteen year old girl who is going to be helpless in such environment.
Susan: so, does that mean you won't let her go?
Williams: I'll think about it. Thank you very much doctor, I have important issues to attend to now.
Susan: I'll let you know if I find out any other thing from your daughter and please, do think about letting her go home, it will do her a lot of good.....
Williams: OK no problem.... May God help us....have a nice day.







NAIRAJOKES.COM




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A guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window,
"I want to
open a fuckin' checking account"

To which the lady replied, "I beg your pardon, what did you say?"

"Listen up dammit, I said I want to open a fuckin' checking account
right now."

"Sir, I'm sorry but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this
bank!"

The teller left the window and went over to the bank manager and told
him about her situation.

They both returned and the manager asked, "What seems to be the problem
here?"

"There's no damn problem," the man said, "I just won 50 million dollars in the
lottery and I want to open a fuckin' checking account in this damn fucking
bank!"

"I see sir," the manager said, "and this fucking bitch is giving you a hard
time right? She is fired"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-12 11:43:30

545 Views




NAMELESS (EPISODE FOUR) STORIES DA VIBA
Please do not share without taking permission from us, thanks for reading.
:
:
:
Lady Miriam's joy knew no bounds; the next day as the doctor gave them the result of the test, she couldn't believe that the same doctor who told her that she wouldn't be able to conceive due to her imaginary Uterus displacement can give such news.
Her husband Mr Godson felt elated about the news as they cuddled themselves pepped up by their notch.
"Madam, I'm actually flabbergasted when i got the test result, having been diagnosed by even me, i guess God walks in mysterious ways and your story would change the spot of all barren women never to lose hope", the female doctor said a bit of an enlighten words.
The couples thanked the doctor tremendously which after the doctor exerted them to take the ante-natal serious (stating its louse when one not take a blind bit of notice), they took their leave.
Miriam being in foal prided them up (What makes someone think? The love they had for the new baby), they picked up increased as they thought about how their hopefulness drew a blank sheet after they have pulled all the stops but Just few months after they picked up the baby; they are the ones enjoying the beer and skittles of ownership after years of effing and blinding sorrow.
Mr Godson made a huge gallop ahead in his business within the months with sorts of slobber and the coming baby, Miriam went for antenatal not doing anything by halves, Knowing its better safe than sorry.
Nine months later, Miriam was in labour wailing and groaning as the baby jumped in enthusiasm to see the world.
Godson tried to open up his emotions although sick at heart when the doctor told him that his wife would be giving birth under critical operational measures, he girl himself up as he signed the papers which was a "go ahead".
He continued pacing along the waiting room full of imaginary bad dreams, the Doctor later came out of the labour room to liven up his mood after eating the hot potatoes.
"How did it go?", he asked enthusiastically.
"Calm down Mr Odson, your wife miriam just gave birth to a bouncing baby boy", the doctor said smiling faintly at Godson who fussed on a smile back at him.
He went into a pregnant pause before a shout escaped his mouth thanking the doctor for his strings.
"Can i see them now?", he asked.
"yes but be careful with her, she is quite weak for now", said the doctor.
Godson felt out of this world as he feasted his eyes on his new blood. Miriam laid weakly smiling at them as she snuffed the abdominal pain she felt.
After being Discharged from the hospital, the couples on their element gave people a high old time as they celebrated about the child....to be continue
THE STORY HAD JUST BEGAN...
What happens next!? find out in the next episode.
This story is brought to you by Stories Da Viba and was written by;
1). Nonsegzy
2). Evybliss
3). Princeprezide
4). Dindy
5). Blexxybaby
6). Nelly
Watch out for episode 5, your comments are needed... Please like our page on facebook "Stories Da Viba".




NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Vibrators were originally used to treat hysteria in women.Related

My people be very careful these days… This happened to me last 2 night when I returned home, after celebrating my Birthday…. My face oooooooo , I can’t believe what
happened to me, Wonders dey always say shall
never end. I was standing in front of the
entrance of my house waiting for my sister
to open the gate so I can go in. Then a woman
came and told me that she knows me, that she has met me before. So I was like I can’t really
recall where and when I met you, anyway, pls
remind me. Then the woman said that she had met me in a
conference in Abia State, Umuahia, in February
to be precise. Oops! Madam, I’ve never been to
Abia State… That was my reply. Before I could
complete the statement, I heard “TAWAI “, A
very hot slap on my face, If the temperature of that slap was to be measured, it will be around
200 degrees. I felt so confused, at first I
thought the slap was from a man, I looked
behind her to see if there was another person
behind her, but there was none. I tried to ask her what I have done, I was
trying to apologize, sorry Ma for not recalling
ur name ‘TAWAI!’ The hot slap came the 2nd
time ! I couldn’t bear it any longer. I regretted
being alone in the night. I held the woman’s
hair and started pulling her legs. I pulled and pulled, stretched and stretched her legs then
pulled again just as am pulling your legs now.
hahahaaha… Kaiiiii! U too like gist oooooooo. See as you dey
serious they read am..……#AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-19 11:04:57

421 Views



Teenage Love. [Read it]


**PART ONE**
CHAPTER 1…….
It was a bright saturday morning
on the 7th of september 2013.
Akinola oluwasegun was walking
along a popular street in Ibadan,
Oyo state. He was dressed in a
white T-shirt and a black pant
trouser and a black vickers shoe.
He was on his way to Loyola
College, a government owned
secondary school around Agodi
gate GRA Ibadan for his WAEC GCE
exam.
He entered into the school
compound and walked towards
the school building. Being his
first paper English Language, he
had no idea of where the
examination hall was situated.
So, he had to ask for help from
other candidates who had come
the previous days for chemistry
practicals and Commerce. He
walked up to a girl seated on the
staircase reading to ask for the
help.
“Hello, good morning.” he
greeted.
“Good morning.” she replied.
“Please, are you here for exam?”
he asked.
“Yeah.” she replied.
“Okay. Please, which way is the
examination hall.” He asked.
“I don’t know. This is my first
time here.” She answered.
(disappointed) “Okay, lets ask
others the way to the exam hall.”
He adviced.
“Okay.” She replied standing up
and dusting her skirt.
*TEN MINUTES LATER*
The invigillator walked into the
exam hall carrying a green sack
with the inscription; WEST
AFRICAN EXAMINATION COUNCIL.
No 62. He was accompanied by
five teachers of the school.
A laptop was removed and with
a thumb printing device attached
to it.
“Line up for your biometrics.”
one of the teachers barked.
After the completion of the
biometrics. The candidates were
asked to sit down according to
their numbers. The answer
booklets and the question
papers were first distributed
before the attendance was
marked. The paper lasted two
and a half hours. The paper
ended by 11:30am and they
were given 3hours break before
the commencement of the paper
2&3(objectives & the Test of
Orals respectively).
Outside the examination hall,
students were seen in group,
some in fours, in fives and so on
discussing and arguing over the
just concluded paper.
Oluwasegun(segun for short)
wast sitting alone under a big
three near the school football
pitch. He was flipping through
the pages of the WAEC English
language past question. Just then
someone tapped him from
behind. He looked up and saw
his cousin Omolayo Akinola.
He stood up and hugged her.
“What are you doing here?” he
asked.
“I came to greet my friends
writing their exam here. She
answered.
“Where is your centre?”
“Ikolaba grammar school.”she
replied.
“Most of my friends are in that
centre.”he said.
“Are you the only one here?” she
asked.
“Yes, am the only one here from
my school.”he answered.
“You must be feeling lonely
o.”she said.
“Yeah”………
The gisted for like ten minutes
before Omolayo stood up to go,
“Let me introduce you to my
friends over there.” she said
pointing to a group of 2 boys
and 4 girls gisting.
He stood up and followed her
towards the group. Immediately
they saw them approach they
stopped talking.
“Where have you been? One of
her friends jummy asked
Omolayo suspiciously.
Ignoring her question. “Meet my
cousin, Segun. Segun meet my
friends.” she introduced.
“Hi guys.” he greeted.
“Hi.” They chorused.
They all hung around till it was
1:30pm, 30minutes before the
next paper.
“Bro, i think we should get going
so, we won’t be late.” Omolayo
said.
“Alright, bye. Segun answered.
Omolayo left with four of her
friends remaining two who were
also in segun’s centre. Among
which was Jummy.
–to be continued–


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Smart Student [Read it]


A student playing with his teacher's intelligence asked thus: 


STUDENT: Sir, can I ask a question? 


TEACHER: Yes! 


STUDENT: How can one put an elephant inside the fridge? 


TEACHER: I don't know. 


STUDENT: It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in there. I have another question! 


TEACHER: Ok, ask. 


STUDENT: How can one put a donkey inside the fridge? 


TEACHER: It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in there. 


STUDENT: No sir, you just open the fridge take out the elephant and put it in there 


TEACHER: Ooh... ok! 


STUDENT: If all the animals went to the lion's birthday party with one animal missing, which animal would it be? 


TEACHER: The lion of course because it would eat all the animals. 


STUDENT: No sir, it's the donkey because it's still inside the fridge. 


TEACHER: Are you kidding me? 


STUDENT: No sir, one more last question. 


TEACHER: Ok! 


STUDENT: If there's a river of crocodiles and you want to cross, how would you? 


TEACHER: There's no way, I would need a ladder to cross. STUDENT: No sir, you just swim and cross it because all the animals went to the lion's birthday party.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-15 15:56:05

288 Views




Nigerian police be like







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-31 22:18:39

1877 Views




It's very easy to know the age of a
woman on her traditional wedding
day... 18-21 years: There will be no dancing.
Rather, the bride and her mother will be
hugging each other and crying. 22-25 years: Only the bride will be
dancing while the mother will sit and
watch with wet eyes and forced back
tears. 26-30 years: Both mother and daughter
will be dancing with all their might and
strength. 31-35 years: Daughter, mother and
father will be trying to outdo each other
on the dancing arena 36 years and above: The father o,
mother o, brothers o, sisters o, and the
entire extended family will take over
the dancing arena.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-09-23 18:05:55

422 Views



pastor's wife [Read it]


Pastor's is buzi doing facebook inside the while the elders are doing wassap


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-04 11:07:20

234 Views




ME: My principal is so dumb
GF: Do you know me
ME: no i'dnt
GF: i am your principals daughter
ME: do you know ME
GF: No i dnt
ME: okay (never wish to see you again)


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-18 14:56:09

596 Views




Penguins have one mate throughout their entire life and sometimes they `propose` by giving their mate a pebble.Related

Four reasons why I curse:

1. Because I F**king want to.

2. Because I F**king can.

3. Because I love it.

4. Because I don’t give a F**k!Related

I met this pretty lady some few years back, she
approached me and initiated a chat with me. She
was driving an SUV that day. We finally
exchanged contacts. She works as a senior staff
in Chevron. She also own a couple of properties
in Lagos and Johannesburg.
We became very close. As a poor guy, I was very
loyal but she wanted me to be the man in the
relationship. Each time we meet her friends, she
will be like, "Baby please buy me this... buy me
that...". It is her money but she paints a picture
that I am the one spending on her. She buys
clothes that I never would have looked at because
of the outrageous amount it would cost and says
I bought it for her as a gift.
She rented a 2 bedroom flat for me and each time
she comes around, she washes my clothes and
cooks for me. She suggested that I become
independent, that I should quit my N25,000 salary
job and start my own business. She budgeted
N15million for my business. I started asking
myself what's going on? She hasn't even met my
parents. I haven't even proposed to her. I went
ahead and resigned.
We started preparing for my first business trip,
buying of Visa and all that. She finally transferred
the money to my account. That afternoon, I came
to the bank to transfer the money to my
domiciliary account, I waited for a long time.
Just when it was about to be transferred, my
phone rang and it was a friend I owe N400 who
woke me up from the dream...
one gudt word for me


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-27 23:21:38

619 Views




who say we no getam








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-25 09:44:22

279 Views




Wezzy.bm
good guy turn bad
4

*watching discovery Channel when with

parents*

*hears words like “Nar” aur “Maada” back to back*

*searches for remote like a Ninja & changes the

channel*

-,- -,-Related

Georgina: i thought you were just stupid;i don't know know you are also senseless. who else is bearing that name in this house;if not you?sometime you get me angry;you are so pathetic. please get lost(exit Brown)
Desmond: do you know why i am always mad at you?is because you are insulting people unnecessarily. that is one problem i have with you
Georgina: here you go again. please give me a break
Desmond: i really need to give a break
Georgina: come on baby;you know that is not what i meant. lets just forget about this and discuss something better
Ayo: you are right;so how are you preparing for your admission in our university
Georgina: it is going on fine except i am waiting for my admission letter
Ayo: that means we will be seeing more of you;unlike then?(phone ringing)
Tunde: Ayo;your phone is ringing
Ayo: excuse me(talking on the phone)hello babe
Anita: good day;how are you and your friends?
Ayo: we are fine;they all sent their regards. how are you?
Anita: good;i just want to know how you are doing and to tell you i love you
Ayo: nice if you;am doing okay and i love you too. goodbye
Anita: bye(he end the car)
Georgina: love birds;i think i like that;think?no,i love that and that reminds me;i had notice since i came back a lot have change about Desmond;how he treat me;how he view my attitude;even his attitude towards me
Desmond: wait;how do i treat you?was it not the same way i have been?is there any......
Tunde: Desmond;you are shouting;lower your voice
Desmond: i am not;why is she trying to make me feel bad
Ayo: must you shout?let her explain her reason
Georgina: no;allow him
Desmond: i am sorry;please go ahead
Georgina: first;you don't really do say;you are sorry even when you are wrong;that aspect i like. secondly;you don't used to screamed at me in front of your friends and it seems like you have a girlfriend that used to exhibit all these qualities and....
Desmond: what do you mean i have a girlfriend?
Georgina: am not through;sorry for that;you don't say baby when i called and when i do say i love you;you normally say i love you two but you will just say me too;is it that you don't want to say does me because you said those words to someone else;i hope is not what i am thinking;if it is;it will be just too hot for both of us because i will so frustrate you two;that she will not recognize you
Desmond: what is wrong with you?
Georgina: nothing;but am just giving you my warning
Desmond: you all should tell her to keep her mouth shut
Tunde: Desmond;take it easy
Desmond: in fact;get out of my house and i don't want to see your face again. out of my house(he pushed her)
Ayo: take it easy on her;she is just speaking her mind
Desmond: her mind?let her go do that in her father's house;this house is mine
Georgina: do you know what?i am leaving;don't plead with him because i am not going to take any rubbish from you and i will tell your parent all that had happen(exit Georgina)
Desmond: go tell them all that;is not my business
Tosin: i heard you scream and Georgina drive out;do you two had a fight
Desmond: don't you asked me anything or i will make you loss your tongue
Ayo: what is hurting you?is it her attitude?i don't think so;is it because you had an affair with another girl that is making you mad. are you crazy?
Desmond: yes;i am;all of you;you;you;you;you;she have made me go insane;yes i am crazy because you always rub my past in my face;you always open old wound that is the problem;i am trying to keep a conversation to avoid quarreling;no Gina is there to criticize me and when i turned to my friends;they are making matters worse for me;i told you i don't want to be involve with her but no;you wouldn't let me be;you kept pushing me to the extreme;were you expecting me to still love Gina;when i told someone else i love you or when i called someone else baby;things doesn't work that way;there is the word sincerity that is what i live by;i hate been fake
Ayo: is it that you are in love with Stephanie
Desmond: don't you dared asked me that stupid question again in your entire life because the next time you do. you will look for a tongue to taste and speak this nonsense(exit Desmond)
Tosin: what is wrong with him?
Alfred: i don't know
Ayo: why don't you asked him?(curtain)

Rector: how are you Stephanie?
Stephanie: am fine;good day sir;head of department said you want to see me
Rector: yes;i want to tell you something but lets wait for somebody
Desmond: am sorry sir;i didn't mean to be late
Rector: is alright;how are you
Desmond: fine sir
Rector: you and her have been pick to represent this school in a quiz competition there will be other school coming. it is going to be held in university of calabar it is for a week. i don't know if there is any question you would like to asked
Desmond: as for me none but i don't know if she had any question (he turned to her)
Stephanie: no;i don't have(she turned to him)you
Desmond: yes;you what is it?
Rector: do you know each other?
Stephanie: no sir;we....
Desmond: yes sir;we are friends
Rector: that makes it easy for me;you can take her there and both of you can live in same room because i know him;he is not a bad person. so you can go ahead and prepared for tomorrow
Stephanie: excuse me sir
Rector: is there anything else?
Stephanie: yes sir;i can't live with......
Desmond: don't mind her;just ignore her
Rector: let her speak for herself
Desmond: (to Stephanie)do you have a problem?i don't think so
Rector: young lady;please be fast i have other things to do
Stephanie: no;no sir;i don't have anything to say;its fine by me
Rector: goodbye then
Desmond: good bye sir(exit Both)
Rector: (to himself)i know my nephew is up to something;i hope nothing bad
Stephanie: what is wrong with you?why wouldn't you allow me to speak for myself?i can't sleep and wake up in same room with you and get it into your head
Desmond: baby;you are my friend ;we are not enemies
Stephanie: and neither are we friends
Desmond: at least;you didn't tell me;you are not my baby
Stephanie: you are so pathetic
Desmond: crazy girl;so should i come to pick you
Stephanie: no;i will wait at the library block
Desmond: okay(curtain)
Tina: i learnt that you were pick to sit for the competition
Stephanie: yes
Tosan: really
Stephanie: it is and some other student
Tina: i also learnt that Desmond is a representative also
Stephanie: yes

Anita: does it mean that both of you;will be seeing each other through out the competition
Stephanie: yes but i have a problem
Tosan: what kind of a problem
Tina: i know the problem;is just that you both are going to be seeing each other and may be he wouldn't be given you attention;sorry girlfriend
Tosan: is it the problem you have?
Stephanie: never mind;i will just go ahead and get prepared for my tripe tomorrow
Tina: take care and in case i didn't wake up to see you before leaving;i wish you God's speed
Stephanie: thank you(curtain)(the next morning)
Desmond: am sorry i kept you waiting
Stephanie: is alright;good morning;anyway bagger are no chooser
Desmond: come on;lets go (after some hours of travelling without talking Desmond decided to break the silent)do you know that this government has really improve in their infrastructural process and i like it when they also build more hospitals and schools. what do you think?(no answer)baby;didn't you heard what i just said?(no answer) is it that;you are ignoring me;i thought you said you hold nothing against me?you have forgiven me but no;you are mad at up to this point;i try to make up for all the wrong i did but no;you wouldn't pick up my calls;you have the right to be mad at me for letting you face sure an embarrassment in front of my friends but you would had hear me out because if i had told you that we would break up in front of my friends;would you had agreed(no answer)i am talking to you;are you deaf?(he screamed on his voice)
Stephanie: i am not deaf and don't you ever tell me that again
Desmond: and don't you scream on top of voice;while talking to me
Stephanie: why would i?am i suppose to shut my mouth?no;you should tell since i had forgotten
Desmond: will you keep your mouth shut
Stephanie: the last time i check;there is freedom of speech;which is the right of every citizen in this country. so don't you dared tell to shut up
Desmond: all women are the same;there is no difference,just when i thought you are a saint but no;you are worse than.......(he paused)
Stephanie: go ahead complete your statement and prove that you are not a saint also or are you?
Desmond: am sorry;i didn't mean to abuse you
Stephanie: but you just did that
Desmond: but i said i am sorry
Stephanie: are you really sorry?you are not;if you are;you wouldn't be screaming on your voice and saying all does abusive words to me from your mouth. is so absurd
Desmond: here you are insulting me also(he speed up and its like to hit something)
Stephanie: do you want to hurt yourself?
Desmond: as if you care and point of correction;is not just me that will get hurt but both of us
Stephanie: is it that you enjoy it when i get hurt?




TO BE CONTINUE......


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Q: What’s the closest thing to a woman’s period?

A: Your salary. It comes once a month lasts about 3-4 days and if it doesn’t come everythings fucked.Related

ONE WRONG TURN
Episode 35

hmmm you know, dad and mum
searched the entire city for you,
we even went to see your friend
Ruth. This morning dad had gone
to the police station to make a
report, fearing that something bad
might have happened to you”
I fought of the laughter that
threatened to spoil my straight
face. The knowledge that my
parents were really worried gave
me some joy.
“so whose phone is that?” Ighalo
asked, pointing at the phone in
my hand.
” its not your business” i replied.
Ighalo got up and gave me a long
suspicious stare before walking
out of the room. I couldn’t look
straight up at him, he already
knew i was lying. Infact i had
become an expert at lying, almost
competing with Ruth.
As Ighalo left, my mum entered,
still doing the sign of the cross.
This time i had tucked my phone
under my pillow.
“where did you go?” She asked,
without a worried expression
I repeated the same set of lies i
have been telling.
“those bad friends you are
keeping eh, hope they did not
bring a boy to the house?”
“mum please!, don’t insult the
people that took me in when you
drove me away” i shouted,
feigning anger.
“i wanna have my bath” I said,
springing up from my bed and
walking towards the bathroom.
Mum my sat there, i could see the
look of surprise and fear in her
eyes. This was clearly beyond my
fleeing from the house last night.
She was clearly afraid of the
person i was becoming.
The boldness, or perhaps rudeness
with which i spoke surprised me
too. It just didn’t sound like me
anymore. I had changed, and i
knew it.
I entered the bathroom, and shut
the door behind me, listening to
hear when my mum will leave.
As soon as i heard her footsteps
walking out, i came out of the
bathroom to prepare for school. I
was already going to be late.
I dressed up rather slowly, looking
at myself at the mirror to notice
any changes. Perhaps i looked a
bit bigger.
Elsewhere in the sitting room, i
could hear my dad’s voice, he had
returned from the police station.
He sounded rather angry. My
mum was trying to pacify his
anger. Suddenly, he stormed into
my room, demanding to know
where i slept.
I stood aloof, staring blankly
ahead. I had no intention of
replying him.
He motioned towards me, and
lifted his hands to slap me. I
made no effort to dodge or resist
the sting of the slap.
Luckily, mum held his hands in
the air.
“Leave her, she slept in Hannah’s
house” my mum said, attempting
to defend me.
“is that what she told you? This
little liar. that my police friend i
went to see at the station this
morning told me that he saw Ella
with a boy, driving around town
at 4 a.m this morning. I’m very
sure she slept with that boy.”
My heart skipped a beat, that
police officer definitely saw me.
He was speaking the truth.
“Ella is that true?” My mum asked
with a resigned tone. She was
almost close to tears.
“it’s a lie, i slept in Hannah’s
house” i replied defensively.
“come and take us to Hannah’s
house, I ll confront her mum
personally” my mum said,
dragging my hands towards the
door.
As we walked towards the door, i
remembered that Hannah’s mum
wasn’t in the house when i slept. I
just hoped the entire plan played
out.
I SUDDENLY CAME BACK ONLINE THIS AFTERNOON AND SAW CARDS SENT TO MY WALL I WAS EMBARASSED WT SURPRISES,U REALY SURPRISED ME WOMAN,TNX STAY BLESSED


>>

Big Question [Read it]


_WHICH OF THIS CAN YOU DO FOR 300 MILLION DOLLARS_
1. Start school again from kindergarten
2. Become a mad man/woman for 12 years
3. Become a blind person
4. Drink 50litres of dirty water
5. Kill a lion with your hands
6. Selling your own child
7. Prostitution
8. Murder your wife/husband
9. Slap a soldier in front of Barack
comment below......


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-05-03 17:27:04

352 Views



just a minute [Read it]


The man:God how long is a million year ? God:to me,it's about a minute. Man:how much is a million dollar? God:to me it's a penny. Man:God may i have a penny ? God:wait a minute......(man fainted )


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-24 20:15:29

348 Views



spw [Read it]


2females and 1male when they are on the way to go to lagos ,and no any noise in the car one girl she was called by her girl friend when she pik d phone,first she was said
pls m on trvl to abuja we have general meeting Nd she close d phone Nd d next girl said
"hello m on d way to go to take my cars
when d boy heard this
at his talk first he said
hello my gfriend m in jet on way to London bcs we have general meeting ,
just d talk till down in d ear of DAT girls
as they talk to say
this my is our oga .







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-19 18:05:07

588 Views



ZIP [Read it]


One day i forget to zip up my my trouser when one lady said to me your zip is opened so i asked her if she saw my range rover packed inside so she sad that she saw only a keke nape with two flat tyres
Abeg watin i do am comment very fast


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-24 22:04:05

262 Views




Akpos came back from work and meet NEPA light at home, he kept quit. Next day, he also noticed that the NEPA light is still steady. He shake his head and left for work. When he returned back in the evening he noticed that the light is still there. He called his wife and asked if NEPA never take the light throughout the day. The wife replied "YES".
Immediately he brought out his phone and call NEPA Manager.
Manager: Hello, who is on the line
Akpos: is me Akpos
Manager: Any problem?
Akpos: Just wanted to know if all is well.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-12 13:15:50

502 Views




Wife: Why Arent You Taking Me With You To Bangkok?
Husband: Because Nobody Carries A Tiffin To A Restaurant.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-19 08:36:23

446 Views



family [Read it]


melisa: sometime we live with the notion that we belong to a perfect family but the truth is that our family is not close to perfection and that we are from a particular family when that is far from it. at birth one doesnt know what he will become in life; if he will be a good person or otherwise, so then should our parent celebrate our birth, i dont think it's upright; well every woman should be happy because she is able to give birth successfully but fate as a way of playing a fast one on us even if i really dont believe in it, is very difficult for me to accept that it doesnt exist but if i do, i am indirectly calling God evil but sometime in our journey of life, so many things happen we cant take hold of and we just ended up feeling like that was how God destiny it to be; there are also things we do to hurt others feelings thinking it was the best thing to do and there are some decision we take without thinking twice i wish i dont have to go back to memory lane but it just kept playing on my head
Zuriel mom
melisa:it seems someone is calling
zuriel:mom; what are you thinking about
melisa:nothing son (outside) that is my lovely foster son, oh sorry my son (back to reality) who told you am thinking?
zuriel:my teacher said; 'if one is quiet and kept staring at a particular object or place, it simply means the person is meditating and once you are meditating you are having a deep thought'
melisa: oh! my son is all grown up, you talking like an adult, i just couldnt forget yesterday, when you were so little like the doll of Ada
zuriel: mother, i am no long a baby, i'm thirteen go on fourteen already so stop comparing me with Ada's doll
Melisa: fine, you are not a baby but you are still my baby
Zuriel: alright i agreed (enter zeal/ obed/ obedient)
Zeal: hello pretty
Melisa: welcome handsome (outside) that is my husband
Zuriel: welcome dad
obedient: mother you didnt go out?
melisa: no my son, mom is just tired
obed: why are you calling him your son, he is not your son, you are just a wicked witch
zeal: will you keep quiet, she is your mom
obed: she is not my mother, she is the mother of that spoiled brat Zuriel; who thinks he know everything in life neither is she the mother of my twin, she is evil
obedient: stop it brother dont called mother a witch; dont you know that the bible says; 'we should respect our parent'
obed: she is not my mother, my mother is Alice not Melisa
Zuriel: dont dare insult my mother
Obed: if i dont what will you do? your mother is worthless woman
Zuriel: you are very stupid (he slapped her)
Alice: go on, gang up on my son; just because your favorite wife is pretending to be nice
obedient: but that is not true mom, obed is just been disrespectful
Obed: will you keep quiet, you are taking side with this witch and her son
Zeal: you are very disrespectful ( he slapped him again)
Alice: i can see you want to kill my son but you wouldnt succeed
Melisa: Zeal is alright, just let him, be he is just a baby
zeal: a baby? when he is almost sixteen already
Melisa: i know but he is still a baby
Zeal: if i dont discipline him now, he will be out of hand if he grow more than this and i am sure by then, he will be wayward
Alice: it is zurial that will be wayward
Zeal: woman wash your mouth
Alice: you think i dont know; you dont like my children and i
Zeal: but that is not true, i love everyone of you
Alice: dont worry, with time we will leave, obed; let's go
Obed: and you obedient would you come with us
obedient: what for?
Alice: leave him alone, when they start turning the table towards him, he will retrace his step (exit obed/ obedient)
Zeal: i dont know what i will do with that woman
Obedient: dad dont be too hard on my brother and mom; i am sure, he will come around very soon and i am sorry mother for the insult
Melisa:it's nothing, he is also my son too, so you dont have to apologies, come here (she hugged him)
obedient: thanks mom
Melisa: and you will come closer ( to zuriel) i love you too
Zuriel: we love you too
Melisa: is okay; you both should go on
Obedient: alright (exit both)
zeal: i wish i never did get married to her; i wish it was just you and i; i dont have to put my kids into a situation like this
Melisa: stop
Zeal: how can i stop it; when at every point in life, i'm being reminded of my stupidity; i wish she is just like you
Melisa: we are two different human being; so dont blame yourself over it
Zeal: why wouldnt i; whenever i see her, i feel like i'm such a fool to listen to dad's foolish ideal
Melisa: is not your fault neither was its dad's fault; it just so happen that dad was looking for heir to his empire
zeal: not am heir to be precise; an heiress
Melisa: what?
Zeal: grandfather had three wives and each of the wives have kids; but my dad Edward was the only child of my grandmother and each wives have male kids each and he was also first son among the eleven of them. grandpa have a lucrative business; the business began to expand and he decided to build hotels & many other business that will bring him money and as he invested in things they grow even more but in all these things he is doing; he wanted his family to hold & to always be under one umbrella but in a polygamous home its difficult for such kind of thing to exist. everyone of them became worthless except my dad; so grandpa will do everything to him
melisa: why
Zeal: is because he wanted someone to always be there for him and for his business to continue even after his death but grandpa other wives was so upset; so they took the case to his family member but no one was able to bring the case to an agreement between grandpa; his wives and kids; the only way to stop bad breath among grandpa's family was for grandma to intervene
Melisa: that is your dad's mother
Zeal: of cause, so she told grandpa to rethink about it; grandpa eventually gave in but he said 'my empire will be run by all member of my family but if anyone of my grandson gave birth to a female child; she will become the heiress
Melisa: what
Zeal: yes; is because for five generation no one; as given birth to female and even in the sixth generation no one have and he felt that no one will give birth to a female and that means everyone will always have a share
melisa: but why is it like that
Zeal: that i dont know? only God knows why
melisa: what if nor of you gave birth to a female; what will happen?
Zeal: you dont want to know right?
Melisa: i want to
Zeal: the entire empire will go back to the government after twenty five years
Melisa: but that is unfair
Zeal: nothing in life is fair; if grandpa kids were all behaving well ; he wouldnt had say those words out of anger
Melisa: i'm sorry, is all my fault that you have to get married to someone else because i wasnt able to give birth to kids on time
Zeal: not only that; i gave in to dad wish because i felt Alice will give birth to female because..
melisa: her family have so many female (they laughed)
Zeal: you got me there but i am happy that she didnt; if not; she would had ruled over my house but i was thinking when you were pregnant you will give birth to a female
Melisa: why? you dont like my son
Zeal: that is not true; i love him because if he was a girl by now; i dont think she will still be alive
Melisa: you are right; i'm glad; i made the right decision
Zeal: dont be ridiculous stop sounding like you are God that give gender of children
Melisa: yes;i'm not God but God answered my prayer because i cant bear to lost my child all in the name of inheritance
zeal: you are something else; come here


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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A dying woman [Read it]


The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, ‘I’ve got some bad
news. You have cancer, and you’d best put your affairs in order.’



The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the
waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

‘Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we
celebrate when things don’t go so well. In this case, things aren’t
well. I have cancer. So, let’s head to the club and have some drinks.’


After 3 or 4 bottles of drinks, the two were feeling a little less somber. There
were some laughs and more drinks, They were eventually approached by
some of the woman’s old friends, who were curious as to what the two
were celebrating.


The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end,
‘I’ve been diagnosed with AIDS.’ The friends were afraid, gave the woman
their condolences and left.

After the friends left, the woman’s daughter leaned over and whispered,
‘Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told
your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that??’


‘Because I don’t want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I’m gone.’.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-09 09:33:53

736 Views




"Akpanu oooo, where are you?" I yelled as I sauntered
towards his room at the gate.
"Akpan bo si ta ooo, I say come out here!"
The unsuspecting Akpan rushed out holding his shorts
loosely.
"Wetin happen na?" he frowned.
I didn't reply, instead I drag his shorts down leaving him
unclad except for the singlet he was wearing.
He stood rooted to the spot, too astonished to speak.
"Oshi! Omo olori buruku! Shameless ! How dare you prey
on my daughter?" I screamed and clapped my hands.
"Rubbish!" he replied pulling his shorts up.
"What did you just say?"
"I say rubbish! Carry your bastard pikin comot ma see road
jare!" he retorted.
I landed him threw slaps in quick successions.
"You called my daughter a bastard abi? You must show me
you weren't born a bastard too! Agbero!" I said as I rushed
towards his guard room
I emerged with a stick and kpo! The stick landed on his
head. He screamed and fell down.
"Oshi!" I charged at him
a car's horn blasted at the gate. I knew too well it was Lina.
Akpan crawled to open the gate, holding his head.
I pounced on him again after he opened the gate.
Lina rushed out of her car towards us.
I was sitting on Akpan, feeding his face with slaps and fists.
"Stop that!" Lina shouted.
I didn't oblige, instead I took hold of Akpan's balls.
He screamed loudly.
I didn't let go, he started speaking in tongues.
"What's wrong with you?"Lina pulled me off him.
I didn't reply, I was breathing heavily.
"the both of you should meet me inside." she instructed
before walking into the main building.
**********
I explained everything to Lina, but Akpan denied it all.
He told her I attacked him after he refused to succumb to
my seductions.
I gaped at him, bruises and swells all over his face, his
forehead was bleeding. He would never forget Tejumola all
through his life!
"Tejumola, I'm suprised at you." Lina began
"How could you come so low?"
"Ma, you believed him?" my lips quivered
"of course i do!" she snapped.
My eyes almost popped out.
"I've been living with Akpan for ten years now, i don't think
Akpan can do such. He is well-brought up..." she began
I swallowed hard and exhaled.
"Its in my interest to protect my gate-man, you nearly killed
him!" she emphasised the 'kill'
"In that case, I'm gonna pay you off." she said carelessly.
I bit my tongue, I stopped myself from apologising.
Tejumola isn't that cheap.
"here's fifty thousand naira, you have to leave now, you can
go elsewhere, where they can gulp down your attitude". She
concluded opening her handbag.
I collected the money, murmured a thank you, and made to
go out with Eniola on my shoulder, I stoped at the exit on
impulse
"Ma, I really want to appreciate you for what you've done so
far, you've tried..." I sighed.
"Its just that, Tejumola won't sit back and watch some slum
prey on her daughter..." I shook my head.
"May God bless you, for all you've done, may he reward you
abundantly." I concluded with tears streaming down my
cheeks.
Lina's lips moved but no words came out, she was full of
pity and regrets. I didn't wait to hear what she'd say, I
walked out.
"Mummy sorry" Eniola sniffed as I packed our few
belongings together.
"Eniola, can you do mummy a favour?" I asked without
looking up.
"Uhm!" she whimpered.
"Mummy wants you to stop crying, okay? Please my one!" I
pleaded with her.
"But you're crying too.." she said amidst tears.
"Okay, mummy won't cry again." I turned to her wiping my
tears.
"Now do the same." I forced a smile wiping her tears.
"I won't cry again." she smiled reassuringly.
I shook my head gently.
"I love you mum" she said throwing her arms round me.
"I love you my one and only." I patted her head.
"We need to leave now." I rose from my squatting position.
I've already made my plans.
I've made few friends, so I'd go to them now, I'd get an
apartment before the week runs out, I'd get a shop and
start selling provisions.
Atleast two hundred thousand naira would do, I assured
myself as I and Eniola walked towards Bola's place. I and
Bola have become so close within those few months.
Bola welcomed us, she was homely in her one room self
contained apartment. She promised to help us get an
apartment within a few days time.
I glanced at Eniola, she looked calm. For once I never
regretted my actions, I would do even more than that to
protect my child. That's why my name is Tejumola now. I
smiled inspite of myself.
Eniola smiled too, she was watching me. I hugged her, our
bond was too strong.




NAIRAJOKES.COM




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jokes [Read it]


Customer:my wife needs a bra but i don't knw d size.
salesgirl:touch my breast and try to calculate.
customerh i forget she needs panties too.

................................A sexy female employee meets her boss and says sir will you remove somting 4rm my breast?.
boss:wow, what?
girl:ur eyes


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-23 08:14:26

991 Views




When i woke up late, Aminat wasnt in the room.
I rembered last night and smiled. I stood up, wore a boxer and a black singlet then i went to look for Aminat. "Was she
gone? No her handbag is here" i asked myself.
On getting to the corrider, the door to the kitchen was open.
Whaaat? What was she doing in my kitchen?
I hurried in . I was so so surprised to see her nak.ed in my kitchen cooking.
I stood at the door since she was backing me, i was staring at her yumicious fleshy nyash and hips i had seriously
attacked last night.
She noticed my presence and turned to see me licking my lips and my growing tent.
My manliness had already start sending me signals. She smiled at my growing tent
"goodmorning, the one wey you do last night never belleful you ba? She asked massaging her big bo.o.bs right infront of
me.
"you know say im never do me. What are we having for breakfast?""ehh you pay me to come cook for you? I be your
wife? If you wan eat this food you go pay"she said.
"ehhhhh? For my house? My food? Haaaa person go die today" i said clapping my hands.
"so who won last night match?" i ask rubbing my di.ck.
"it was draw draw. Make we see who go win this morning match" she said.
"is that a threat" i asked removing my singlet and beating my chest.
She giggled , coming over, she pulled down my boxer and took my manliness in her mouth.
Aaaaaaaaahhhh!! I moaned.
I was in another space shuttle leaving earth to one of the planet i named "WAPGOODIES"
I was space shuttled to wapgoodies. A place filled with aliens.
I even met with a monster like creature who called himself "tecno4life" what a name.
When i demanded to know the meaning of his weird name, he collected his oga "fatalveli and d9t7" an ak47 to scare the
hell out of me.
"Cheeeeeeeeeeeesssssoooooozzz" i screamed. Something had bitten my manliness.
I was running back to earth i felt a great pain at my medulla oblogata. Jeez has tecno4life shoot me? So i go die? No how i
go take die i get six life na.
I heard some one called me when i was running. Ehh how this aliens take know my name?
Within six seconds i was back from Wapgoodies with a parachute, Unclad.
Has tecno4life for life stripped me Unclad before pursuing me? I asked myself.
I came back from WG to meet Aminat laughing out her behind.
I was on the floor Unclad.
"Jeeez when did i fall? I asked aminat" i was breathing as if two lions(tecno4life and fatalveli) pursued me.
Aminat was still laughing. I staggered up with the remaining energy that was left.
"chaii maurice you funny o. Common Mouth Gig wey i give you wey you for mad" she said.
"wetin happen why i the for ground?" i asked.
"chaai as i the suck you ,the shout "tecno4life" na im i you come fall down so i come the suck you more. I come tire i say
make you come Bleep me, you no respond. I call your name five times, you no talk i come fear. Na im i bite your koboko
o you come shout jesus i laugh tire. Abeg make i check food before im burn" she said.
The revelation made me laugh.
I was shouting tecno4life when i was escaping from those aliens. That was when i fell hitting my head hard on the floor. I
thought they had shoot me when i felt the pain.
Remember when i thought tecnoilife was calling my name. That was Aminat calling and that was when Aminat bite my
precious di.c.k. WATCHOUT FOR PART TWO



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-13 16:57:36

2315 Views



Come join me [Read it]


Guys make una come join me oooo i dey chop fried garri with roasted lizard who wan join bfor i finish am


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-11 19:10:49

412 Views




10 minutes to your wedding and you are called for a contract of 10million dollars which one would you go to.
Your wedding or the contract?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-28 13:12:09

354 Views




Raat Ki Tanhaayi Mein Haath Kachhe Ki Gehraayi Mein,



Kuchh Mehsus Sa Hota Hain,



Mat Chhedoh Usko Zalim Kyunki,



Pappu Bhi To Sota HaiRelated
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