Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


A few honest men are better than numbers.

~ Oliver CromwellRelated

“so when do you plan heading to the house?” the detective asked seconds later.

“it should be tonight, by 10pm. The neighbourhood will be dark and lonely by that time” i answered quickly.

“that’s okay but without a good recorder and hand gloves, i doubt if your mission will be successful. I can get them for you. Thank me later” he offered with a smile.

“oh thanks very much. You are indeed an angel” i thanked him.

“i think we are forgetting something. We are yet to come up with a plan on how to get her out of this place without your colleagues noticing” my brother queried suspiciously.

“leave that to me. I’ll get your sister out myself, but you will be right outside the premises to pick her up. You will be the person to drive her to the house” the detective said while my brother nodded in agreement.

“now get ready, in thirty minutes we should be out of here” he added.

“but it’s still 6:30pm i thought she’s breaking into the house by 10pm?” my brother asked with surprise.

“yea she is, but i can’t be able to get her out of this place by that time. I can only get her out in thirty minutes while you then take her to your house or anywhere till showtime” he answered. I breathed deeply. I really was nervous.

_____

By 7:15pm that fateful evening, the detective took me out of my cell and helped me out of the compound by hiding me in his car. We had no problem leaving the police premises. It really was the most easiest part of the plan.

In a couple of minutes we arrived at the agreed rendezvous where my brother was already waiting. As i made to alight from the detective’s car, he held me back and stared at me with a worried look.

“please be careful. Here is the recorder i promised. It’s very small, uses micro card and has high recording capability. It’s already charged” he said with care, as he gave me the recorder with little lecture on how to use it.
“here are the gloves as well. You need no lecture on how to use them” he joked.
“please don’t disappoint me” he begged. I nodded, gave him a reassuring smile and alighted from his car. The detective was just a perfect gentleman.

“so what now?” my brother asked as i joined him in his car.

“let’s go home first. I want to see mum” i answered quietly. He gave me a long look, licked his lips and drove me home without another word.
______

10pm arrived much faster than i expected. I soon found myself at the back of my husband’s house with my heart pounding furiously while my eyes examined the fence as i prepared to scale it.

Yea i was born and raised in the village among boys. I knew how to climb perfectly well. My only fear was on how to achieve my mission without being detected.

>>

e day I was in a car traveling to lagos an old woman was at the first roll sleeping all of a sudden she wake up and said "ma children if we reach benin make una wake me up" and every body reply no problem. But unfortunately every body forgot and we pass benin before a man at the back seat remember dat ma said we should wake her up. We taugh of wat to do and ame bring an idea that w should turn back t benin before we wake her and every body pleaded wit the driver and agreed to pcontribute one thousand each and te driver agreed and turn back. When w each benin we wake mama expecting her to drop instead she opened bag and broght out paracetmol and took two tablet she said her son said so 


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-14 12:42:21

480 Views




Akpos and his beautiful wife was just settled down for bed when the Akpos realized he left the lights ON in the boysquater. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the boysquaters. Scared, they called the police. The DPO replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls. Akpos waited for a few minutes and called the DPO again and said "Don`t worry about sending an officer, I shot the robbers and now the dogs are eating their bodies!" In no time at all, police were all over the place and captured the robbers red-handed! The DPO asked Akpos, "I thought you said you shot the robber and your dogs were eating them. "Akpos replied, "I thought you said, there weren`t any officers available."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-17 06:51:47

3546 Views




THE DEADLY MARK
(Love hunters)
Season 1
Episode 4
EPISODE 3
EPISODE 2
EPISODE 1
(Next=8:30)
People moved in black jacket and sweater to drive away the cold morning weather and Daniel was among them. He walked briskly along the road immediately he left Grace’s resident.


He could see cars moving slowly and passengers waiting patiently for morning buses.

Long storey buildings were seen in every side of the road. Kali city was regarded as the most wealthy and small city.

Daniel crossed the road. One could see him from a distance bringing out his phone and placed it on his ear once more.

“Hello, are you still with Grace?” Cassandra asked from the other side of the phone.
“I just left there” he entered into a lonely road with beautiful buildings. “Are you still at home?”
“Yes, just preparing to go and help my mum at the shop”
“Okay, we shall see latter this night in a our gathering”
“What of if a say now?”
“No, i have to sort out something now”
“What could that be?”
“A strange mark..” he paused when he saw a gentleman standing at the entrance of his apartment.

“I will call you later” he hanged up the call walking faster…
Cassandra was in the kitchen when she called Daniel. She kept staring the carrot she brought out to cut.

She parked her hair backward wearing a white singlet. “What mark is Daniel talking about?” she thought and continued her

breakfast preparation.
Mrs Jonas, Cassandra’s step-mum worked as a tailor. Her shop had a glass transparent door which enable passerbys to see the lovely and beautiful clothes she make. She sat before her sewing machine with a fabric in her hands staring at the door in thought. People were passing continuously in front of the shop but she couldn’t see any of them, yet, her eyes were wide opened.

One can easily deduce that she was lust in thought.
“The love hunters were destroyed years ago which ended the deadly mark. How come Cassandra dreamt about the mark? Does it mean that they are back..? Oh my God! That will be disastrous..”
CONTINUE READING AT

Akpos father had a visitor(man,wife and children).after preparing food for dat night akpos was asked 2 pray b4 the dinner. AKPOSur father thank u,pls bless our visitors so dey wil nt cum 2 finish our food and ice cream nxt tym.4gv d boy who remove my sister her clothes and wrestle wit her.on christmas tym give all d naked ladies in my dad's laptop money 2 buy clothes.provide house for al d young men who use 2 stay in my mums room if my dad went 2 work.all we pray in jesus name.AMEN.Guys reason dz prayer whth ur coment


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-13 18:47:12

400 Views




It was two weeks after the one night stand with
the stranger. Priscilla sat quietly in the bathtub in
the guest room reveling in the privacy, Tunde
could be heard moving around, and he was on
leave much to her dismay, she so longed to be alone in the big house. Her eyes closed, thoughts
drifted off to that night remembering the feel of
his hands on her. Her face flushed, somehow
there was no remorse for what she did only a
wish to could see him one more time and see if
she felt the same way again. She thought that she could be could be pregnant, the thought made
her frown, the little sizzling feeling in her heart
disappeared. She could be pregnant.
Pregnant for a stranger with no money in her
pocket because she was sure Tunde would get a
divorce, she felt uneasy imagining how the family would get into an uproar. Her mother would never
even look at her again and Tunde would have the
perfect excuse to throw her out. Would she be
sorry then that she slept with this total stranger?
Priscilla wondered. Perhaps. The soothing tune
played in her head again: God give us Christian homes; somehow it seemed to calm her. ‘God
help me, I felt no remorse for what I did’.
***
Finally, he parked in front of her house; he had
never made it beyond the front door. He turned
off the engine and silence reigned in the car for a few minutes more. They had an argument.
“I hate it when we fight”
“I do too” he replied gruffly “I just hate the
thought of you with someone else Karen”
“But I’m living with the thought of you with
someone else” her tone rose in defense and he shrugged
“It can’t be helped I’m married to her Karen and
you even brought him to the club” Tunde felt a
hot stab of jealousy drive through his chest “What
was his name again?”
“Does that matter?” she asked in resignation “He’s not you.”
“Yeah but he’s not married either.”
“And I’m not her.”
“Regardless”, he replied knowing he was being
unreasonable.
Karen’s tone was flat “But you aren’t happy… we both aren’t happy” she repeated slowly
Tunde looked at the beautiful woman beside him;
there was no stopping her when she made up her
mind to do something. Somehow, half of him
was filled with scorn for her knowing how much
he loved this independent woman beside him. She chuckled loudly, “Remember four years ago?”
Karen’s tone was pregnant with regret “When you
asked to marry me” her eyes were downcast
hiding her emotions.
Tunde sighed remembering that night and his
tone softened “It’s too late for that now isn’t it?” he swallowed painfully and she nodded sniffing.
The car fell silent again. He could tell she was
upset and he placed his hand on her thigh giving
it a gentle comforting squeeze.
“I don’t know how to explain the way I feel
Tunde” Karen uttered frustrated “I don’t know.” “I understand my dear”
She nodded letting her gentle sobs subside
“Should I keep waiting or move on?”, her voice
was nearly a whisper and he said nothing for a
minute.
“What do you want to do?” he asked slowly and Karen let out a shaky breath.
“You could get a divorce.”
Tunde scoffed and looked away. “You can if you
want to Tunde” she continued her voice now
demanding, “Her alimony would be fat enough.
Isn’t that what she wants? Money?” Tunde threw a glance her way. The woman could
be very selfish at times, “You know I can’t let that
happen for now.”
“Why?” Karen almost wailed, “Isn’t that what you
want?”
“The company’s stocks aren’t the way they used to be, giving away a quarter of its shares. It’s not
a wise decision; a quarter is almost as good as
half right now.”
“You’d have your peace of mind, Tunde,” she
purred. He was almost convinced but he shook
his head vigorously in disapproval “No…It’s not the best choice. I still have to protect all that my
father left. Should it go to waste on a divorce that
can wait?”
“If they cared about you, you wouldn’t have been
in this mess and you know it”
“Don’t you start on that, Karen!” She opened the car door shaking her head
regretfully and got out of the car. Peering at him
through the window and her voice staccato she
said, “We can’t be together if this is what you
choose for us” with that she walked into her gate
shutting it loudly behind her. Tunde sat still trying to calm his anger, she was not being reasonable.
He started the engine and began to drive down
the dark street. After an hour, Tunde walked into
the dark parlor and locked the door behind him.
The house was silent and he let out a ragged
breath. He was tired of living in the house with a stranger he called his wife, it made him want to
scream coming home every day to this. Tunde
loosened his tie walking languidly into the
bedroom where she lay. He could feel her
watching him silently in the dark as he moved
around the room. She had no idea of the way her eyes sparkled in the dark; strangely, he smiled at
the random thought. He sat at the edge of the
bed, the room was so dark but in a way it
comforted him because so was his heart.
***
Richard sat on the cane chair overlooking the busy road. His flat was a mess as always, full of
crumpled paper and can verses’, easels and
pastels. He wrinkled his nose up in the stale smell
of paint; he was looking a mess in his work
clothes. His mind was frazzled thinking of the
woman in the club weeks ago, he could not understand what fascinated him about this
woman, this mysterious woman called Priscilla.
Richard inhaled a rugged breath and dragged in
the cigarette in his hand wondering when he
would see her again. Should he call her? He
thought to himself, would she want to see him, was she thinking of him the way he was thinking
of her. What was so special about this woman?
She was beautiful and she looked like a painting,
every curve and hollow of her body; every
movement was like a work of art and the exciting
thing was she refused to believe. He let out a slow breath of the cigarette and
stubbed what was left on the windowsill. There
was a rapid knock on the door of the flat, he
cursed loudly to himself, and he did not want any
disturbances. Reluctantly he walked to the door
and opened it, it was Karen. Richard groaned inwardly looking at her face, he stepped aside
and she entered his apartment. He knew she was
angry with him for not calling after calling but the
feeling was mutual after all she had left him to go
after another man. So much for faithfulness in
their relationship, he shut the door behind him. Karen scanned the untidy apartment disgusted
she looked at him “So when were you going to
call me?”
He shrugged walking back to the windowsill.
Karen stared at Richard’s handsome profile. A
little of her anger chipped away as desire cursed through her veins but she was still angry, he
didn’t even bother to look at her or what she wore
to please him even his favorite color, red. Karen
dropped her bag on the nearby chair, crossing her
arms across her chest.
“Come on, let’s stop this. I hate it when we fight.” He looked at the woman scathingly, he could not
remember what attracted him to her even though
she was clearly beautiful; but they both knew they
were playing a fools game. The feelings were
more physical than any other emotion.
“You left me in the club alone, Karen.” She walked up to him with a pout on her lips “I’m
so sorry, something urgent came up.”
“At a party?”, he looked at her full of disbelief.
“Business. Besides,” she lifted up his hand and
placed it on her red painted lips “we know the
nature of our relationship. I’ll tell you when I’m ready to settle down” he mind was now clouded
with thoughts of sex; she wrapped her arms
around his shoulder.
Richard looked at her. Was this even a
relationship? Somehow, he had begun to doubt
what he felt for her. He wanted to pull away from her embrace but his body betrayed him
responding to her, as her body pressed closely to
his. Karen placed a kiss on his lips.
“Let’s forget that this happened uhn? But you
should still have called, I was worried.”
Her word lacked truth in them but he said nothing just blandly staring at her. She only came to him
when she wanted her body warmed as though he
was only a service provider; anyway, she had
made that clear already. They were both free to be
with other people, no strings attached. He placed
a kiss on her lips wondering the difference between her and Priscilla’s and she expertly
responded.
Priscilla was almost inexperienced and it thrilled
him about her to know she still had an element of
purity in her.
…WHEN they were finished, he sat on the floor in the sitting room looking round at his clothes
scattered around him. Karen was already
fastening the front zip of her mini gown with a
satiated look on her face; he felt nothing anymore
when he touched her, no excitement or softness
just pure libido. She applied another lipstick on her swollen lips.
“Why are you staring at me like that with a
frown?”
He had no idea he was staring at her, lost in his
thoughts.
“Didn’t you enjoy it?” Karen asked with a note of worry.
“I did”. His words did not sound convincing in his
ears. Richard got up dragging his under wear
along with him.
“Are you going to be free on Saturday?”
He nodded “Most likely” She took her handbag “Good. I’ll come by then”
with that, she walked out of the room.
Richard stood for a moment remembering how
Priscilla had scrambled to get her things when
she was trying to hurry home. He smiled, she was
clumsy when she was nervous, and she had rushed away from him as if she was a teenager
who was caught red handed with a boy. He
laughed out loudly and walked up to his phone
placed on the table to dial her number.
***
As she walked further into the church, she began wondering if it was good idea after all there but
she didn’t turn around. Rather, Priscilla walked up
to a seat by the entrance. She came here because
of the tunes emitted from its organs but the
church was beautiful. “God give us Christian
homes”, she sang to herself. She had forgotten the feeling of warmth when one was in the house
of God. She came because her heart was troubled
as always. But this time, it was because of the
strange lover whom she could not get out of her
head after their sinful night of passion. Priscilla
was attached to the tune; it was so soothing; she could feel herself relaxing in the chair.
When last had she felt this unusual peace? She
could not even remember. She believed in God at
least. She believed in most of the things
preachers said but not the part about him
wanting the best life for her. No, but she liked to believe God and she respected Him even though
she had not been inside of a church for years
now.
A sad sigh escaped her lips; maybe this was the
place. Just this God, she still wanted to believe in
something, anything that would give her hope or an anchor she would hold on to and if this it then
she would gladly take all she could.
She sat like that for a while, just staring at the
altar with a blank mind. She did not know how
long she sat there but she was lost in the beauty
of the church and the comforting warmth that welled up inside her.
Someone tapped her from behind making her
look up to a slim fair woman who wore a church
hat. She smiled at Priscilla.
“Hello dear.”
“Good afternoon” Priscilla replied still staring at her.
“Did you come to see the pastor?”
“No…No” she grimaced “Who are you?”
“I’m a deaconess. You’re not a member of the
church are you?”
She flushed feeling a bit flustered “No” her voice sounding tiny.
“So then you’re not here for the married women’s
fellowship?” she asked looking at the wedding
band on her finger. She shook her head getting
up, she had intruded on the warm feeling Priscilla
was enjoying alone. The deacon got her cue and hurriedly touched her
hand lightly “Please stay. We don’t mind people
coming into the church.”
“I have to go anyway.”
“But you should please come for the married
women’s fellowship it would do you a lot of good.” Priscilla stared at her full of irritation; did
she know what was good for her? She nearly
hissed aloud, the woman gave her goose bumps.
“It’s every Wednesdays by 6. Just an hour”
Priscilla nodded absent-mindedly and walked out
of the church. The sunrays hit her face as soon as she left the building, her phone rang in her
pocket and she took it out looking at the number,
it was an unknown number.
“Hello”, she said
“Hello.” It was a male voice and it sounded so
familiar “Who’s this?” Priscilla asked trying to remember
“It’s Richard.”
At that moment she could have slummed full of
surprise as her heart began to race “Richard
who?” she asked still trying to be sure.
“Is this Priscilla?” The way he called her name gave her a flutter in
her belly and she looked back at the church
behind her. God really did answer prayers and
fast. “How did you get my number?”
He laughed, his usual full rich laugh that could
make a woman melt “You gave me remember? When you were in such a hurry to leave.”
She started walking down the road smiling from
ear to ear “Yes, yes. I just remembered. It has
been what? Two weeks?”
“Yes” he sounded sober. “I’m sorry I didn’t call
earlier” “You shouldn’t have called”, Priscilla replied as
matter of fact, “I’m a married woman.”
There was silence from the other end of the line
and she bit her lip half wishing she had not said
that.
“I know” after a minute Richard, stated, “Let’s meet.”
“I don’t know” she replied,unsure.
“As friends” he continued hopefully “I’ve longed
to see your face.”
It was tempting to tell him the same, to tell how
she had no sleep at night thinking of him but she kept quiet, her feelings did not change the fact
that she was married to another man.
“Come on! As friends?”
“Alright… but not your apartment”
He laughed, “Okay not my apartment. How does
tomorrow sound? I could take you to my gallery.” “Sounds like fun” Priscilla replied smiling in the
sun
“Where can I pick you up?”
“I can meet you at the junction leading to Adeola
Odeku road, maybe Silverbird?”
“Alright that’s fine then”; she could tell he was smiling. ‘Ten, right?”
“Yes”
“Thanks a lot” Richard replied heartily. “I can’t
wait”. With that, she heard the call disconnect
and turned round the bend headed for home,
smiling.

>>

labour machine [Read it]


a woman who was in labour about to deliver in a hospital due to tthe pain involve the woman told d doctor i can't bear it again pls call my husband the husband came in and the doctor told him we have a labour transfering machine it means we are going to transfer the pain of the woman to you sir, the man in annoyance said i didn't bargain for this oo the woman scream so you don't love me!!! 


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-30 17:00:04

144 Views



funny customer [Read it]


CUSTOMER: na wa oh! Person go dey call una on top him money, na nonsense music una go dey carry person play, abi una think say na flash i dey flash since?
CUSTOMER SERVICE: thanks for calling customer service. my name is kingsley, how may i help you?
CUSTOMER: help who? If i tell you my problem una go fit help me?? Na una get problem yet na una go dey ask person him own problem. For the past three days now,network no dey my phone, i no fit send text, call out or even browse, shey na by force to give the whole nigeria free browsing? Una carry the browsing wey people pay for
give people wey no pay still yet na promo una claim say dey happen, which kind level be
CUSTOMER SERVICE: we apologize for
any inconveniences sir, what’s your name and where are you calling from? CUSTOMER: na thunder go disvirgin all una mouth, na my name go solve the problem? Abi craze dey play draft with ur head? I say i collect number frm one fine girl since on Friday reach today, i never call am! And i wan carry am comot dis saturday today na Friday already, As i dey talk so i never fit
call am, make una no fall hand ?.. Cos ah don send am N1k card.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-30 22:16:35

406 Views




Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?Related

Toun: gist me now, what happened?
Me: forget that guy dear
Toun: but you said you are heartbroken, or were yoy
lying as Abayomi said?
Me: nope, though I am not heartbroken..i am scared
Toun: Talk to me jare, is Acho threatening you? Me: this is not about Iheanacho, it’s about Timi.
Toun: what about Timi?
Me: Those computer science guys that want to sponsor
our election insisted that kofo shouldn’t be our
campaign manager, they insisted on Timi as one of
the conditions for sponsorship. Toun: eeeeeyahhhh poor kofo, and she liked the
position o…she is a hard worker.
Sometimes I wish I could tell angels to help me slap
stupidity out of some people, this poor girl didn’t
know kofo was working harder on her boyfriend.
Me: true, very hardworking girl..such a pity. Toun: what will you do now, have you guys been
keeping in touch?
Me: no, I try to avoid all contacts. There was a time I
could have done juju for that guy to die
Toun: is it that serious?
There were a couple of things I didn’t tell anybody, including Toun and her boyfriend Abayomi. The only
thing they knew was that Timi and I were no more in a
relationship; they even believed I called it off though I
told them it wasn’t so. Everything was okay, I was
having the time of my life, all my prior relationships
were s--t compared to Timi. He was wonderful and always seemed to get me, we were the envy of a lot of
people, including my igbo colleagues that felt I was
blind. Then he just called me one evening and told me
we couldn’t see each other anymore. I though he was
joking, one of his expensive jokes that everybody
knew him for, so I ignored him. Only for me to go to his house and he insisted that it was so. I kept asking
him what I had done wrong. Did he hear anything…did
I disrespect him, I even called his siblings…all to no
avail. After somedays of no word from him I got angry
and decided to forget about him, but it was
impossible. I saw Timi in everything, I deleted his number but I had it stuck in my brain. I threw away
the PS2 he had gotten me for my birthday. A month
later I went to him and was on my knees…I begged
him to forgive me for what I knew not, I cried on his
floor…it was unbearable. He just stared at me, he
didn’t utter a word, until I stood up, dusted my skirt and left.
I reminded myself I was the daughter of Chief Dike.
That was 2006 April, this is 2007 and I still remember
some of the moments, like when he bought me an
arsenal jersey with number 1 crested on it, it was nice.
I have never stopped supporting arsenal even after he left me.
Toun: you guys won’t be seeing every time na, after
the elections you go your separate ways, moreover I
leant he is dating that Annie, the one in micro-biology.
I hate that girl ehn…too proud.
I had also heard that he was dating her, It wasn’t my business though, I thought Annie was a girl that
carried herself well, I am not sure that was being too
proud
Me: you are right sha, after 6weeks, it will be over. Toun: so tell me about Acho, what happened?
Me: he started sleeping with Yewande, mass-comm
department, but its not his fault sha, I caused it.
Toun: how, you are the victim here, not him!
Looool…you go fear woman rights leader na….
Me: its me really, I starved him of affection..and later s-x..
Toun: its not like I f--k Abayomi everytime he is h---y,
sometimes they need the chill pill..
Me: you won’t understand…anyways he is gone.
Toun: so what are you going to do now?
Me: I am going to focus on the elections and my studies, lord knows I have a lot on my plate.
Toun: what of Timi?
Me: I will figure that out…come and put prison break
for me, Abayomi says you have season 2..
Toun: yes…yes…Michael Scoffield is so handsome…lets
watch! Yes he is handsome I said to myself…. but Timi is
beautiful. Toun doesn’t know how to make noodles.
The watery mess in front of me irritated me, even the
egg was not boiled well. I knew if I complained she
would say she doesn’t wanna kill the protein. All her
attention was on the series, I watched prison break
mainly because of Tee-bag. I liked his diction and the way he flicked his eyes when he wanted to do
something evil.
My phone rang…
Abayomi: evil pikin
Me: presido
Abayomi: ermmm, how are you, hope you have not killed my angel?
Me: your angel is fine o..why are you calling me sef,
call her now
Abayomi: ode, I called because Timi wants your
number, he said he doesn’t have this line
Me: Does he really need my number. Isn’t yours enough?
Abayomi: you know you are in charge of the campaign
committee..you guys will walk directly together
Me: oh well, give him. At least it means we wont need
to see except very necessary
Abayomi: exactly, like the rally tomorrow at Shokas, Ijebu-igbo…that’s very necessary
Me: give him my number…
Abayomi: give your phone to the lady in the room
Me: what am i?
Abayomi: witch
I passed on the phone to Toun, and laughed at the thought that the both of them would probably be
having s-x now if not for me…then I thought of s-x…
then I thought of Timi…I remembered the first time.. We had just been dating for 3 weeks then and things
were going at its own pace. We had gone to Sagamu
for a friend’s wedding, one our way back, it rained
bitterly. With his rickety Mazda 626 refusing to start at
the right occasion, we had hitched a ride to Ago-iwoye
via Ikenne-Remo. After dropping me in my house, he started to leave, I knew I ought to have allowed him to
leave but It was so cold. I begged him to stay the
night. Lying beside him that night felt so good, the
only warmth I felt was when I held him. He started
telling me jokes; later we were making fun of the
people at the wedding. Then he brought out a bottle of wine we had smuggled from the wedding and
toasted to me saying “ to the most beautiful girl”. He
drank some and offered me some but I declined. The
only alcohol I took was Gordon spark and palm-wine.
But he insisted and I have never been able to tell him
no.. But I took too much a gulp and couldn’t swallow it, so he attempted to assist me reduce the quantity in
my mouth by using his mouth to drain mine. Lawd! His
lips tasted so good…then we started kissing. We kissed
till there was no alcohol in my mouth, then he licked
my lips, he licked my neck…all I could do was moan. I
could feel the bristles of his day old beard on my neck as he kissed my shoulder blade. I pulled up the short
gown that stood as my nightie, so he could continue, I
didn’t want him to stop…I had never felt like that
before. My n-----s were so hard they were almost
painful, till the warmth of his mouth enveloped them.
I pulled his shirt and started fumbling with his belt, why should a guy’s belt be this difficult?. He asked if I
was sure I wanted to go there…I said yes.. When his
buckle came off and I pulled down his boxers, I could
see his D--k in the dark. I didn’t know what to do at
that point, I was dripping wet and I wasn’t thinking
straight. He pulled off my panties and ran his fingers on my wetness…his fingers separated the lips and
rubbed against my clits, I screamed… then gently he
started kissing my navel and rib-cages. I rested my
back on the bed and stretched my hand until I got
hold of his D--k; I spread my legs and guided it to my
V… He stopped me again and asked if I was sure…I told him to shut up and stop talking… he verified I was
sufficiently wet by running his hands on me again
before entering me… Before deflowering me…. Toun: why are you not eating?
Me: this your rubbish indomie
Toun: you cannot appreciate anything in your life
Me: lol
Toun: Ab was telling me about Uche..
Me: yes o..he said he is representing a client, that is ready to pay a s--t-load of money
Toun: I don’t like that Uche boy, he taxes freshers
anyhow…very notorious
Me: what his clients want sef is too much ahn ahn…
game centre and Cd selling monopolies.
Toun: I am not comfortable about it and I told Abayomi..
Me: yeah, I don’t like it also, but I think your boyfriend
might want to accept it.
Toun: he sounded so over the phone…how is National
doing?
Me: only God knows were that boy is getting his money from, everywhere it is National!
Toun: you guys have to step up o..
I sighed..
I attempted to sleep but all I could think about was
tomorrow at Shokas…I will have to be with Timi. I was
going to blank him, everything would be official, I hope he doesn’t bring Annie along though.
Me: Toun, I want to sleep..oya off your television
Toun: oh…that Michael is so smart..he will break-out…I
tell you!
My phone rang…
Me: hello, Caller: hey
Me: who is this please?
Caller: it me..
His reply coincided with my brain recognizing his
voice…
Me: oh.. Caller: its Timi
Me: hey
Timi: just got your digits from Abayomi
Me: ok
Timi: I want to intimate you about the rally tomorrow
at Shokas…please come with your friends…branded tee-shirts and jean shorts..
Me: you don’t waste time at all o..
Timi: the tide isnt in our favor now, we have a lot of
work to do, I don’t want us to lose.
How dare him use the word “us”…this boy dey crase?
Me: you don’t wanna lose your good reputation Timi: yes.
Me: don’t forget I am the one calling the shots
Timi: I wont ,ma
Me: good, how much are you being paid for this?
Timi: 200786 if we win
Me: and if we lose? Timi: nothing..
Me: what is the 786naira for?
Timi: nothing
Me: anyways na you and Abayomi problem..
Timi: see you tomorrow, goodnight dear..
Me: night. After hanging up, I realized I had been clenching my
fists
Toun: who was that?
Me: Timi
Toun: awww… what does he want
Me: about the rally tomorrow…branded tops and jean shorts…
Toun: he is fast o, rally now now?
Me: he said Abayomi is paying him 200786naira
Toun: why that weird amount?
Me: I don’t know for him o…
Toun: oh my God…I know … Me: why?
Toun: he is passing a message to you
Me: how?
Toun: 20/07/86…..your birthday..


>>

Me: salam aleikum
Voice: Wa aleikum salam
Me: Esther, are you the one that just answered now, it sound so smooth in your mouth
Esther: No be you teach me?
Me: You called me, what happened? You sounded so urgent on phone…hope no problem Esther
“Esther was actually putting on bump short and a tube”
I already knew i was in danger because as much as i tried to withstand her, my body has already started failing me. If she had moved closer to me, she would have felt my heartbeat because i was beating so high and hard. My mind has already travelled far as i started thinking of the escape route in case she wanted to try any nonsense. Esther walked a bit to the door and jammed the door.
Me: why did you lock the door Esther? What happened? Open the door jhoor..
I tried to move to the door and she quickly came to me and held my hand and i heard “Alfa Abdulrahman”
I look back and it was Aisha that called my name, i started laughing instantly
Esther: where are you running to before
Me: Salam Aleikum sister Aisha….So, you were even the one that answered my salamo the other time, i thought it was Esther and she claimed it
Aisha: Wa Aleikum Salam…..how are you
Me: am fine jare
Esther: Look at you, you are not even comfortable, you wanted to run away from the room..
Me: Look at you, why will i run away, i only wanted to open the door. Are you not my sister again?
Esther: i thought as much ooo
Me: What are you doing here Aisha, how did you guys meet each other
Esther: have been asking you to introduce her to me all this while but you always decline but look at how God work…he definitely work in a miraculous way. She is like a sister to me though because me and her senior sister attended the same secondary school and she told me last week when we talk on phone that her sister is in our school, i located her and it was through our discussion that your name came in.
Me: My name came in? How?
Esther: she told me she was going for tutorial that day and i asked if she knows you and i was so happy when i heard she was actually the Aisha that me and you always gist about
Me: uhmmmm
Esther: so, i invited her over to my place, since you cant invite her then there is nothing bad there if i invited her
Me: ok oooo…yo are welcome sister Aisha
Aisha: I don’t know this is where you stay Alfa Ismaeel…..one of my course mate stays at the next street there and i always pass through front of this place
Me: hey yah..this is where i stay and esther is my sister….sister from another mother oo
Esther: o serious at all..dont mind him, am his girlfriend ooo……..
Aisha: lol
Esther: Aisha has been here for long sha but do you know why i called you
Me: why will you call me other than to come and see her
Esther: and are you happy seeing her?
Me: Will i be sad before?
Esther: You see Abdulrahman, ever since i became so close to you, i love you so much and i really like your kind of person. Had it been i can turn back the hands of time, i wouldn’t mind dating you just that i dare not take you home that i want to marry you, my parent will definitely kill me.
Be that as it may, i realized if i cant date you, i should take it as a responsibility to make sure you are in safe hands as regards relationship. I know you seriously like Aisha and from my conversation with her, she loves you so much. So, what is stopping you guys from dating each other.
I know this might be strange to you because i know you have not had any relationship in the past but everything start in a day, like the adage which says a journey of a thousand miles start in a day. If you said you are not ready for relationship now, at least you will have one when you leave this school. Why not start nurturing it now till you graduate and formalizing it by then will be so easy for you guys after graduation. By then you would have known each other in and out.
Aisha i believe is not a small girl too and we have talk a lot before i called you. I had to engage her to be sure she feel the same way just as you before discussing this with you
Me: who send you message Esther? Did i tell you i don’t know how to toast?
Esther: You know how to toast? You think toasting is like reading your quran? That is what you know how to do best ogbeni Alfa
Me: You are not serious…..
Esther: maybe i should leave you guys alone to allow you talk it through
Me: No ooo…dont go out ooo, there is nothing to talk through
Esther: ahh..you are too scared jhoor..iru okunrin wo ni e na?…if you said i shouldn’t go out then you guys should start talking, i will be the judge and witness. At least in heaven or what do you muslim call that una own Alu…alu wetyn ooo, aisha tell me now
Aisha: Alqiyamat
Esther: Yes..Alqiyamat, i will tell Allah that i was the witness then..so, you guys should start talking
I was dumbfounded and didn’t know what to say, there was total silence in the room for like 10mins without any word coming out of either of our mouth


>>

The day I met you was the luckiest day of my life, and I bet you feel the same. At least I hope you do.

-We Belong Together(Music)Related

Finding good players is easy. Getting them to play as a team is another story.

-Casey StengelRelated

Banta is a teacher and exam ke liye Question Paper banaya…

Paper dekhte hi saare bachche behosh ho gaye… Questions were:


1. ‘China’ kis Desh me hai ?


2. ’15th August’ kis Date ko Aati hai ?


3. ‘Green’ colour kis rang ka Hota hai ?


4. ‘Tamatar’ ko Hindi may kya Bolte hai ?


5. ‘Mumtaz’ ki Qabar main Kon Dafan hai ?Related

I put my heart, soul and tears into the game and this is what I get. I don’t know what to do. My wife can’t sleep at night. I hold my daughter all night. I am ashamed I played cricket.

-Kapil Dev on the betting scandalRelated

Large quantity of Herbicide is available for sale at a very low price of 500 Naira per litre.
Hurry now while the offer last.

For more information please call 07057026984
Location: Cross River State, Nigeria.








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-26 17:34:00

458 Views




I WAS ONCE A KID=>WRITE UP BY DINDY
do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission,thank you for reading this write up...

When time and fear never existed,happiness was without time,and time was nothing more than two different space of day and night. Happiness was the only existence of joy in my world as a kid. The beauty life lies in everything i saw,felt and touched...my imagination as a kid was my world,it was my strength,it was my belief,it was the only way to escape the reality of life. The beautiful things I imagined as a kid was so beautiful that it could make a soulless beast cry...MY MIND COULD MAKE UP A BRAND NEW WORLD WHEN I WAS ONCE A KID.
MY NAME IS NNAMDI AKA DINDY AND I WROTE THIS WRITE UP.LEARN FROM WHAT YOU READ NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND.THANKS FOR READING...........................WRITE UP BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI.........whatsapp number:07087750433.... [email protected]@gmail.com or [email protected] facebook namessy nnamdi.......Skype: 07087750433 or [email protected]:@nnamdiossy








NAIRAJOKES.COM




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‘The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.’

-Woody AllenRelated

A married man was having an affair with his
secretary. One day, their passions overcame them
in the office and they took off for her house.
Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they
fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the
man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to
take his shoes outside and rub them through the
grass and dirt. Confused, she nonetheless
complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove
home. "Where have you been?" demanded his
wife when he entered the house. "Darling,"
replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been
having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in
her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You
liar! You've been playing golf!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-05 23:12:50

817 Views



Crazy children [Read it]


A Mom goes to the store shopping. She tells to the children, "Your father will return very drunk. Undress him down to the waist and put him to sleep." "Why to the waist", the children interested. "Because your father has a large snake below and it can bite you." The mother returned and her children met her at the door, "Mom! Mom! Dad came home! We undress him all and put him to sleep." "Are you undressed him the entire", mother worried? "What happened with the snake?" "Don't worry, Mom!" proudly answered the children. "The snake was strangled with dad's belt, her eggs were trampled and the nest was burnt." Mum fainted


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-22 15:31:52

973 Views




There Are At Least eight types of orgasm for a woman.


1. The Optimist – Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh Yes…


2. The Pessimist – Oh No, Oh No, Oh No…


3. The Confused – Oh Yes, Oh No, Oh Yes, Oh No…


4. The Traveler – Ahh, I’m coming, I’m coming…


5. The Religious – Oh God, Oh God…


6. The User – Ahh, More, More, More…


7. The Murderer – Ahh, If you take it out, I’ll kill you…


8. The Submariner – Mmm…Ohhh…Deeper…Deeper… Go Deeper!Related

Trivial pursuit [Read it]


A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It
was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &
Nature. Her
question was: "If you are in a vacuum and
someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or
off?"#AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-04 10:59:58

700 Views




After making love I said to my girl, Was it good for you too? And she said, I don’t think this was good for anybody.

~ Garry ShandlingRelated

I was on a mission. I was going to get over Grey and start becoming more independent.

Granted I hadn't made the decision of what I wanted to study but getting the job at the restaurant had set into motion my plans to have a life of my own and to get over my obsession with Grey.

It wasn't healthy and the only way I was going to be able to get over him was to keep seeing him to a minimum so that meant spending less time at home where there was a possibility of bumping into him on a regular basis. The hurt I felt at hearing that he'd gotten some girl's number had helped me set my mind to keeping him at a distance. With work and my plans on spending more time by Reece over the weekends I was determined to see less of the boy who kept battering my heart.

Anytime I wavered slightly I pictured him kissing that girl. That alone kept me to my plan.

I was nervous when my mom dropped me off for my first day at work. David showed me to a small staff room in the back of the restaurant. He picked up a shirt that was neatly folded on the desk and handed it to me.

"You will need to wear this," he said and I took the shirt from him.

"You can wear it with jeans or a black skirt," he told me and nodded. Unsure what I had to wear I'd shown up in a shirt and jeans.

"Go change," he'd instructed and I went into the girl's toilets to change into the white button up shirt with the "Gourmet Burgers" logo in blue written on the pocket. It was slightly too big but I'd manage.

I tucked the shirt into my jeans and grabbed my normal shirt before I left the toilets to go back to the staff room.

There was another guy in the office when I entered. I looked around nervously.

"This is Jax," David introduced me and I extended a hand to him. Jax smiled as he shook it.

"You will be working the same shifts as he is until you are ready to work on your own," he instructed. "Good luck."

I followed Jax out of the room and down the small passage to the restaurant.

"on't be nervous," Jax said throwing me a look over his shoulder.

"We all start at the same point knowing nothing. You'll get the hang of it and before you know it you'll be a pro and wondering why you were so nervous to start off with," he said with a reassuring smile.

I liked him straight away. He was taller than me. His hair was a sandy blonde color and reached just below his ears and his eyes were a deep blue color that reminded me of the sea.

It was Monday so the restaurant wasn't that busy but there was a steady stream of customer and at lunchtime it got busier. I kept my eyes glued to Jax and tried to remember as much as I could so I when I finally got to work on my own I didn't mess things up.

By the end of my shift at four I was tired and my feet hurt.

"You did well," Jax said. I shrugged because I hadn't actually done anything but follow him around and watch him like a hawk.

My mom was waiting outside when I left the restaurant.

"So how was your first day?" she asked with excitement.

"It was good," I answered.

By the time I was home I was tired. First stop was the kitchen to get something to eat. I wanted to have an early night.

"So how did it go?" Alex asked when I entered the kitchen.

Grey was sitting beside him at the kitchen counter and his eyes rested on me. I pulled my gaze away from him and turned my attention to my brother.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Banta: Agar Aapko Grmi Lage To, Ap Kya Krte Ho?

Santa: Cooler K Samne Baith Jata Hu

Banta: Phir Bhi Grmi Lage To?

Santa: To Cooler On Kar Leta Hu.Related

MARA episode 19 [Read it]


“These are the clothes I bought for you. They are maternity gowns for you.” He said and I was alarmed
Nightgowns for me!
“You are shocked?” he asked and I nodded so vigorously.
He smiled
“That was how it was meant to be before the devil came, planted the tares among the wheat and went on his way” he said again and I was awestruck
With the little I knew about the bible, I knew that that was quoted from the Word of God and I was really awestruck
That change was so fast.
As he brought the clothes out, I looked on and observed
“But why are they all white?” I asked
He looked dumbfounded
“Because the baby is holy of course” he stammered
I smiled
I thought deep down that I was making him uncomfortable with my questions and comments
“Thanks so much dear” I said as I stretched my hands to collect the clothes with my right hand
He shook his hand
“Use your left hand” he insisted
I looked into his face and he widened his eyes
A cold shiver ran down my spine.
I obeyed
The material was cotton and despite how poor I was then, I really did struggle to buy silk as I react often time to cotton.
He knew this well and why he would buy this material when he knew my condition got me a bit angry.
“That was what I could afford. I am sorry. I know you don’t wear cotton” he said and I nodded
“Thanks” I said as I put the clothes down.
“Wear them” he said and I looked at him strangely
He nodded again and I picked up the clothes
“All of them?” I asked and he nodded
“Why?” I asked and he looked at me sternly.
“You ask too many questions. Its all for your good” he said, almost angrily
“I am sorry if what I said made you angry. Forgive me” I said and he smiled
“Wear them first” he insisted, raising his voice a bit
“ok” I said and I wore the three white gowns
I didn’t want to make him angry
I felt that it was absurd but I obeyed him anyway
…as if I was being controlled.
“Good girl!” he said, smiling and patting my back
I smiled sheepishly too.
“There is something I need to intimate you about now.” he said seriously
“What?” I asked seriously too
“I made a pledge to the Lord when I became born again and we have to fulfill the pledge because then and then only would our glorious dreams come true” he said and I watched on
“Ok. What pledge?” I asked and he interlocked his fingers
“I promised to give the placenta of our baby to the Lord” he said and my eyes widened
“Placenta?” I asked
I was alarmed.
“Yes…the pastor asked for it” he said
Something was not right!
I just felt something fishy!
Exactly what was wrong?
Why couldn’t I think of my own volition again?
Was I being manipulated or something?
There was a battle within me and there and then I looked at him and gave a warm smile
“If it’s a pledge to the Lord, then, so be it! The Lord gives and he takes” I said and he smiled
Just then, there was a bang at the door.
“Noooo…that’s a lie! Never give your consent to such” I heard the voice of my doctor outside the door.
She had been eavesdropping?
Why was she screaming that way?
What was so bad about giving to the Lord?
Didn’t she know about pledges and redemption of pledges?
>>>>>>>
I didn’t know when I screamed but the pastor was not surprised when I did.
…at least he didn’t look surprised
“Pastor, is this woman under a spell?” I asked loudly.
I didn’t care anymore about anything
Was it a movie or something?
What was wrong?
I had only heard about it happening in the imaginary life but in reality, relaying in my very ears?
It felt really bizarre!
I kept on banging the door and the pastor shook his head as he watched on.
“The door is locked” he said and my eyes widened
“What!” I exclaimed
He nodded
“And you just endangered her life” he said and I held my chest in numbness
“How?” I asked, panting heavily for breath.
He smiled painfully
“The battle line is drawn.” He said and I looked on as the pastor placed his ears close to the door.
I did likewise


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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PREMIERSHIP WAEC
EXAMINATION.
DURATION: 48 Hrs
ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS.
SECTION A.
1. Discuss the fall of Chelsea
and the rise of Leicester in
relation to season 2015/16
(20marks).
2. Using Tottenham as an
example, describe the force
of gravity (15marks).
3. Manchester United sold Di
Maria to PSG for £44m when
they had signed him for
£59.6m. Prepare a profit and
loss account (12marks).
4. Write an essay on the
proverb ”old is gold” in
relation to Old Trafford.
(10marks)
SECTION B.
5. Calculate the probability of
Arsenal winning their next
game in relation to previous
performances (20marks).
6. Estimate the velocity at
which Liverpool is
depreciating considering the
absence of Suarez and
Sterling (15marks).
7. With the aid of a diagram,
prove that Chelsea will go
trophyless this season
(15marks).
8. Without using tables, list
out the clubs that will qualify
for the Champions League
next season (10marks).
9. Explain the sudden
quietness of all Chelsea fans
these days on all social
networks (20marks).
10. Complete this...
In Wenger we trust,
In Pellegrini we're happy,
In Mourinho we ____________?
(5marks)
11. Who should take the
blame for Chelsea's bad
form? Explain (10marks)
BEST OF LUCK!



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-12 11:44:47

452 Views



true or false [Read it]


1) You buy
your girlfriend ice cream, you
dey sip pure water abi you get
diabeties?
2) You claim say you no dey
cheat on ur guy, yet you dey
receive
different calls for him presence
my sister... You be customer care
agent?
3) You buy your girlfriend suya
you come dey chop onion.... oh
boy you be
vegetarian?
4) You snap different pix with
different cars yet you claim say u
no be
runs girl.... My sister you be
mechanic?
4) You dey sponsor your
girlfriend for university yet you
never write
jamb.... My brother you be
scholarship board?
5) You ask a girl what she
wants, she tells you money and
you are angry,
what do you expect her to say,
wisdom and understanding abi?
6) Your babe get F9 parallel for
WAEC, she still dey ask for
Brazilian Hair
of N150,000, were she wan fix
am? On top of that coconut
head?
7) You have 8 tribal marks
scattered all over ur body, yet
you still want a
tattoo.... Ah my friend you be
zebra?
You are 6.5ft tall , you still come
wear 6 inches high heel shoe...
shey
you wan go moon?
9) You gather different girls pix
for your phone yet you expect
your
girlfriend to believe you are not
cheating.... Uncle you be
photographer?
10) He gave you an engagement
ring for over 5 yrs, he never
marry you,
my dear you be lord of the
rings?
True Or False


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-26 10:22:59

511 Views



Akpos again [Read it]


Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested??
Akpos: A teacher!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-01 17:47:26

851 Views



Prof and sailor [Read it]


A professor was travelling by boat, on their way he asked the sailor 'Do u know Biology? Ecology? Zoology? Embrylogy? Epidemology? ''No'' said the sailor . Professor angry and said what the hell do u know? You will die of illetracy. One hour later the boat started sinking the sailor looked at the prof and ask, prof do u know Swiminology and Escapeology from Sharkology? ''No'' said the prof. Well that means Crocodileology will eat your Headology and u will Dieology with your Knowledgeology because of your mouthology. Good morning NairaJokeology Lol


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-07 07:27:20

670 Views




The door of the ward came open and Loretta walked in.

She wore a face of remorse as she walked quietly to them.

‘Aunty, I am very sorry,’ she said. ‘Please find it in your heart to forgive me.’

Both Adaeze and her mother were staring at her with confusion in their eyes.

‘Loretta?’ Angela called her, ‘what is the matter?’

Loretta’s face was hanging down now. ‘I’m sorry for sleeping with your husband, Aunty.’

She turned and walked out of the room, leaving mother and child still in shock.

Outside, she said to Nnanna, ‘Let’s go.’

In the sun, Nnanna’s sight became blurred again. He walked slower.

‘What is it?’ Loretta asked him.

‘My eyes,’ he said. ‘They have become blurry again.’

Loretta came and took his hand. ‘The doctor said it would take a few more days for them to be fully okay,’ she said. ‘Come.’ She drew him along as she walked.

Outside the hospital gate, she waved down a taxi.

***

About an hour later, the doctor came into the ward to check on Adaeze.

She asked him again about Ekene.

The slim man in a blue shirt and black pants didn't say a word immediately.

Adaeze stared at him and then nodded as if to mean she’d known all along.

Her face crumpled and her eyes flooded over.

Her mother held her, but the more she patted and squeezed her shoulder, the more her tears flowed.

Just then, the door of the ward came open.

She raised her face and saw him.

He was smiling as he walked slowly to her.

She looked at the doctor and saw that he was smiling too.

She ran up from the bed to him.

She hugged him tight, sniffling in his scent like an excited puppy.

He reached and wiped the tears on her face.

But then she brought her eyes up to him and gave him a hard slap. ‘How dare you do a thing like that to me?’

As Ekene held his slapped cheek, the doctor looked at Angela with his lips curved in a smile.

Angela only managed to smile back.

***

When she struck the gate and the gate man asked, ‘Who is that?’, Loretta screamed back, ‘Open the gate!’

At the front door of the house, Ese told them, ‘Now is not the time.’

‘What do you mean now is not the time?’ Loretta asked the plump maid.

‘Prof has not been feeling too well,’ Ese said. ‘You can’t see him now.’

Loretta pushed her aside and they entered.

Ese ran after them, calling, ‘Stop! Stop! You can’t see him!’

‘Lady, you must stop!’

But Loretta and Nnanna were in the sitting room already.

Prof sat up on the couch, a thick blanket pulled over his legs.

His hair was unkempt, his beard unshaven and his face downcast.

The skin around his eyes appeared much darker than other parts of his face.

A flat plate containing two small avocadoes and a halved pawpaw sat on the table in his front.

‘Sir, I told them they can’t see you and they just barged in,’ Ese said.

Prof gave a light wave. ‘You can go.’

Ese bowed and walked away.

He turned to the visitors. ‘What can I do for you?’

‘Prof, I brought back your son,’ Loretta said.

‘Who?’

Loretta took Nnanna’s hand. ‘You should remember that night, Prof. It was cold and stormy. The month was July. Your wife went to see her people and did not return that day.’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘You were drunk, Prof. It happened right here on the couch, twenty-four years ago. You began by telling me a story. A story you could have told your wife had she been around that night. You had an issue with the dean and she gave you a query. Something concerning a student you failed. Please remember, Prof. Please.’

Professor Ilonna’s narrow eyes steadied at the air. ‘I remember that night,’ he said.

Loretta gave a little smile. ‘Then you must also remember what happened afterwards.’

Prof turned his face to her. ‘Tell me.’

‘You kissed me, Prof, yes you did. Then you reached to my dress and–’

‘Stop!’

>>

sweet bf [Read it]


BOY: I would cross the deepest sea, I would walk through the hottest desert, I would climb the highest mountain just for you.

GIRL: Awwww...that's so sweet! Can you come over tonight?

BOY: I would love to dear but it's raining!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-09 09:46:32

337 Views




Today, I want to take time and thank
God for making Buhari the president of
this country.
At first, I did not understand why God
allowed it to happen. But now I know and I have seen the benefit.
This is how I understand the benefit.
Had it been Buhari did not become
president:
1. We will think that by now fuel will be
N45 per litre. 2. We will think that by now N1 will be
equal to $1.
3. We will think that by now three
million jobs would have been created.
4. We will think that by now
unemployed youths would have been receiving N5,000 stipends.
5. We will think that by now pupils
would have been getting at least a meal
(including fruits) in school.
6. We will think that by now Buhari
would have made his assets and liabilities public.
7. We will think that by now 720,000
jobs by the 36 states in the federation
yearly (20,000 per state) would have
been created.
8. We will think that by now there would be permanent peace in the Niger
Delta and other conflict prone areas
such as Plateau, Taraba, Bauchi, Borno
and Abia.
9. We will think that by now the
government would have started creating additional middle-class of at
least two million new home owners in
the first year in government and one
million annually thereafter.
10. We will think that by now maternal
and children healthcare services would be free. . . Copied
#BOLLY_SMART™®


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-08 18:18:44

516 Views




‘KISSWHORE’ in Punjabi apparently means “Which Direction?”Related

THE THOUGHTS OF THREE DIFFERENT PEOPLE=>WRITE UP BY DINDY
do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission,thank you for reading this write up...
{person=1}
My old light of happiness has destroyed my new found future of unbearable joy,how I wish i could eliminate my past,how I wish my past didn't come to existence.
{person=>2}
I fell for him but he betrayed me,my whole world has changed,my trust for him is divided,my image of him is now like a rootless tree,I am just confused.
{person=>3}
I never liked him,I warned her to stay away from him but she didn't listen, and now her heart is far away from her body. But wait what if the guy is truly in love with her but people don't want them together?(hmmmmm life)
What will this thoughts end up in?,confusion?,more thoughts?,disagreement?,fight?,lies?,misunderstanding?,heartbreak?,anger?,death?, frustration?, happiness?,tears?.
Well I can't say because it is still taking place in their lives, and I am sure that it has happened or will happen or is happening in our lives,in one way or the other,it all depends on how yours plays out.
MY NAME IS NNAMDI AKA DINDY AND I WROTE THIS WRITE UP.LEARN FROM WHAT YOU READ NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND.THANKS FOR READING............................WRITE UP BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI.........whatsapp number:07087750433.... [email protected]@gmail.com or [email protected] facebook namessy nnamdi.......Skype: 07087750433 or [email protected]:@nnamdiossy







NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Area boy [Read it]


Akpos and his father were having a discussion:


FATHER: I have told you not to stay at the bus stop again!


AKPOS: But, papa why? 


FATHER: Do you want to become an area boy?


AKPOS: But you always stay at home. Does that make you a house boy?


Akpos is right now in a hospital.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-02 13:40:54

140 Views




Two old drunks were lapping them up at a bar.


The first one says, “Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn’t bend it with both hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard.


“By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I’m gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand.”


“So”, says the second drunk, “What’s your point?”


“Well”, says the first, “I’m just wondering how much stronger I’m gonna get!”Related

The boss who was on the 25th floor of the building called up the blonde secretary on the ground floor for an important file.


Since it was rather urgent the boss told the secretary it was an emergency and that she should hurry with the file.


After more than 30 minutes the blonde clerk appears all tired and panting for breath.


The Boss asks him why she was panting and what caused the huge delay.


The blonde secretary replies, “Sir, when I went to the lift it said ‘during an emergency please use the staircase’!!!”Related

FUEL SCARCITY [Read it]


Guys check out dis pix.........is dis d change we ar expecting....
**#Lols#**







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-21 02:15:24

800 Views



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