Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Jimmy took the team and left for the golden house, the
official hideout of the invisible quartet while Musa went
to the hospital but not before calling the security team
in the hospital to inform them about a possible attack
on the patient in ward 18. Jimmy and his team parked at the end of the street and
walked all the way to the golden house.
“How far is the back up team?” Jimmy asked. “15 minutes away” Agent mike replied. Agent mike was supposed to lead the team in the
absence of musa but Jimmy who had no training
whatsoever in field ops, took it upon himself to lead the
team. They got to the golden house, it was a spacious
compound with just a building at the far end. Jimmy
was able to hack their cameras and viewed inside the
room. Three men where present inside the room. “Get me the megaphone” Jimmy commanded. “And what do you want to do?” mike asked. “Tell them to come out ofcourse” Jimmy replied. “Are you crazy? Lets go inside, we have the element of
suprise on our side, they wont expect us.” mike
countered. “Do you think there are fools? Their security camera
would spot us before we get there and you dont even
know the kind of security accessories they have. They
best thing is to order them out and if they fail to come
out then we smoke them” Jimmy explained. “Alright Jimmy, lets do it your way, but when this fails, i
will be the first to tell sani during debriefing that you
brought this idea” mike threatened. Jimmy collected the megaphone and spoke. “This is
NATU commanding all [email protected] of this building to
come out in the next 2minutes” He ordered and
watched their reaction from his ipad. The three men were startled. Agent white quickly ran to
his keyboard and punched some keys. The large screen
in the room came alive. It was showing all the angles
outside the room, there were cameras outside the
building. He used different angles to view the
sorrounding but he didn’t see any body. Whoever it was was well trained and has hidden perfectly.
“You have one more minute” Jimmy shouted into the
megaphone. “What do we do?” White asked. “Let them come, we would be ready for them”
Agunechemba replied. “You have 20seconds left” Jimmy reminded them. “This isn’t working” Mike said. “Trust me, its working perfectly” Jimmy replied and
then turned to another member of his team
“Hope you are with the tear gas?” he asked. “Affirmative” the guy replied. “Good! After the count of three, i want you to smoke
them out” Jimmy ordered and started counting albeit
whispering to his team.
“1…..2……3” he counted to three and then signalled the
guy. The tear gas was shot into the room via the window
which was slightly open.
“go go go!!!” Jimmy ordered and they all ran towards
the door. Jimmy planted dynamite on the door and it
blasted open. They all wore gas masks and ran into the room. Lo and
behold, it was empty. Jimmy used his ipad to access the
cameras but they had all been deactivated. “I told you this was a bad idea” mike Shouted. +++++++++ Musa broke his all time speed record as he was driving
to the hospital. You would mistake him for a formula1
driver. How did he get a car since jimmy and his team
took the official NATU van? You might ask, but there
should be a guy somewhere in the island who might be
reporting a missing car any moment soon. Paul walked majestically to ward 18 where Grace was,
all the security men had converged at the north west
entry. He opened the door and went in. Grace was
sleeping peacefully. He brought out his gun and wanted
to point it at grace when security men barged into the
room. They had been tipped by Agent musa about a possible attack on the patient in ward 18. “Freeze!!!” They shouted. Paul didn’t wait to be told that he was busted. He
quickly jumped through the glass window of ward 18
which was located at the second floor of the hospital
building while the security men kept shooting to the
air. Their orders were to use non-lethal force. Paul landed on a vehicle that was parked was parked
outside. He felt the pains as his back ached but he had
to run. He quickly got up and just then, musa drove into
the hospital. The security men ran to the staircase and ran
downstairs.
Musa came down from his car and together with the
security men, they gave paul a hot chase.
Paul ran into an abandoned warehouse.
The men followed him but they applied caution. The warehouse had many rooms and it was difficult to
know which particular room paul entered.
Musa who was outside the Warehouse put a call across
to Jimmy
“Send paul’s photograph to my PDA” he ordered. They
were chasing someone without actually seeing his face. Only two security men who barged into the hospital
room were able to see his face and it was even the side
of his face they saw. “I dont have his picture” Jimmy replied. “Then find it” Musa shouted. And ended the call. Paul hid perfectly behind a large drum in the room. He
saw the door slowly open without a sound and he
became alert. A police man walked in, slowly inspecting
the place. He walked slowly with his gun, turning his
head at every slight movement. Paul saw his shadow, he was coming towards him. He
braced himself for the inevitable and held his breathe.
The policeman suddenly passed where paul was
without seeing him. Immediately he passed, paul
grabbed him on the neck. The policeman was
struggling, there was no way he could turn his long gun and shoot paul and there was no way he could shout
because paul held his neck so tight. He struggled till he
gave up. Paul dragged him to one corner, removed the
policeman’s uniform and wore.
“This will facilitate my escape” he said.

>>

Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!

Banta: Oh! That’s terrible.

Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions.Related

Do you have Facebook?

No.

How about Twitter?

No.

Do you have Whatsapp?

No.

Then, what do you have?

A life.

Great , I need it for Candy Crush?Related

the game [Read it]


Mitchy's Humour House - MHH.
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next
to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept
bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of
intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1
odds, and said every time the blonde could not
answer one of his questions, she owed him $5,
but every time he could not answer hers, he’d
give her $50. The lawyer figured he could not
lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, “What is the distance
between the Earth and the nearest star?”
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5.
then the blonde asked, “What goes up a hill with
3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4
legs?”
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several
hours, looking up everything he could on his
laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground
phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally,
angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the
blonde $50
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without
comment, but the lawyer insisted, “What is the
answer to your question?”
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him
$5.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-06 00:38:27

295 Views




A couple were having financial problems until finally they couldn`t stand it any more. The husband said to his wife that is was necessary for her to make some money through prostitution to get by.

So the husband drove her to the place where she had to do the job and in the evening he picked her up again.
“So, how much have you earned today?” the husband asked.

“Well”, the woman responded, “I`ve made one hundred dollars and fifty cents.”

“That`s strange”, the husband responded, “who gave you the fifty cents?”

Said the woman: “All of them, of course!”Related

Hike:"do you know who I am?.I am hike.a great demon.how dare you talk to me in such manner.now I shall divide thy wings from thy body and thy head from thy body and thy tongue shall be feed to the creatures of the first dimension".it said demonstrating every single thing it spoke out.
I stood up still trying to recover from the very heavy punch it unleashed on me.I used two seconds to get myself back on the battle.then I ran towards him carrying my sword like a 5 years old kid who was carry a 25kg of beans.hike just stood and watch as I came closer to him.I jumped as i raised my sword so that i could use it to hit his head.
he knew what I was about to do.so he threw a punch towards my head to knock me off.but little did he know that it was all my plan for him to throw a punch at me.i weaved his punch then I turned my sword over to the other end(in a quick motion).then i used it to hit him heavily on his stomach pushing him backwards.he held his stomach and his face was faced down as he moved backwards.
When he stopped moving back.he looked up and saw a smile on my face.he got angry and screamed raising his two hands up simultaneously.he ran toward me like a wolf after an antelope.he was aiming for my head with his mouth.each step he made cause vibrations.he was very fast and quick.as he came closer i fastened my hold on my sword .his mouth got very close to my head then he opened his mouth widely to decapitate me.I quickly pushed my head backwards as I raised my right knee to his lower jaw to knock him over.
my knee hit his lower jaw so hard that it made his entire body to fly over me.he land with a big bang and with his back.......(AME talking)very demon has their own weakness and hike's own was underneath his jaw.and if a demon lands on it's back then it shall be weak.......i stood up properly then I turned to look at hike.he was laying hopelessly.as i walked up to him.he started changing back to his normal short form.i looked at him and took him by his legs to go put him were he belongs. in the "PIT OF HELL".
When I got there.the gate opened then I threw him inside.as he fell.he looked me in the eyes and said we shall see again AME.the gate closed as i flu back to HEAVEN saying "MAY THE NAME OF GOD BE PRAISED"......................................................to be continue....................THANK YOU FOR READING THIS STORY.........story by DINDY.....WhatsApp number:07087750433....facebook namessy nnamdi
PLEASE DO NOT SHARE WITHOUT TELLING ME



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Timeline:



Girl1: Cancelling My All Upcoming Trips,

Scared To Fly Now in planes nowdays



Girl2: Awww Me

Too didi.



Chat:



Girl2: Market Chale didi?



Girl1: Paidal Chalte Hai, Rikshe Ke Paise Nahi

Hai Be…!!! ????Related

form dis [Read it]


Reply is a must
Everyone try..
GAME TIME
find your birthday month, day and year, and
form a sentence!!
January : I need
February: I killed
March: I slept with
April: I raped
May: I Slapped
June: I Hugged
July: I played with
August: I jumped on
September: I got drunk with
October: I spit on
November: I kissed
December: I love
Pick the day (Number) You were born
on
01: Someone
02: a Donkey
03: a Monkey
04: Agbani Darego
05: an Elephant
06: My wife/husband
07: your Boyfriend/Girlfriend
08: Obasanjo
09: your girlfriend
10: the Joker
11: a drunkard
12: Bin Laden
13: Superman
14: Macho man
15: a Gorilla
16: Spiderman
17: a Frog
18: Christiano Ronaldo
19: a Pepsi can
20: My cat
21: My first love
22: An old man
23: an old lady
24: a Dinosaur
25: Kim Kardashian
26: a Crocodile
27: Pikachu
28: My Best Friend
29: a fat Hippopotamus
30: Your best friend
31: the Hulk
Select the year u were born
1960- by the atm
1961- in the ambulance
1962-in a parlour
1963- in a bar
1964- in a subway
1965- in a car park
1966- in a bungalow
1967-in a dirty pond
1968- in an ocean
1969- in a police van
1970- in a jumbo jet
1971- on a yacht
1972- in a museum
1973- in a garage
1974- in a fridge
1975 - in a theatre
1976 - in a village
1977 - in a forest
1978 - in a swimming pool
1979 - in a canteen
1980 - in a room
1981 - on your balcony
1982 - in a park
1983 - on the beach
1984 - in a toilet
1985 - in a zoo
1986 - in my office
1987 - in a garden
1988 - in an airport
1989 - in a stadium
1990 - in a hospital
1991 - in a hotel
1992 - in a bus
1993 - in a taxi
1994 - on my bed
1995 - in a river
1996 - in our hostel
1997 - on the playground
1998 - in the presidential villa
1999 - in your school
2000 - without my pants
REPLY YOUR SENTENCE!
its fun to see a variety of replies
Eg.-I killed donkey in stadium
Don't spoil d fun of d joke!



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-27 07:42:57

282 Views




Do you want to surprise your Girlfriend this valentine? Follow these 4 steps below...


1. Ask What She Wants. 


2. Buy Online (Jumia or Konga)


3. Enter Her Address


4. Select "Cash On Delivery"


That's all...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-11 17:41:17

210 Views



Best proof [Read it]


A man went to lawyer Akpos and told him, ‘My neighbour owes me N10,000 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?’
‘Do you have any proof he owes you the money?’ asked the lawyer Akpos.
‘Nope,’ replied the man.
‘OK, then write him a letter asking him for the N20,000 he owed you,’ said the Akpos. ‘But it’s only N10,000,’ replied the man.‘Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!’


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-07 15:44:53

460 Views



MY GIRLFRIEND [Read it]


Your girlfriend wants u 2 meet her family, when u got there...The elder sister is ur ex girlfriend .The younger brother is the boy you were fighting with over a girl .His dad is the doctor who advice u to stop coming with girls for abortion. And finally the mother is the sugar mommy who just bought u a ferrari sport car.Wat will u do? Your girlfriend wants u 2 meet her family, when u got there...The elder sister is ur ex girlfriend .The younger brother is the boy you were fighting with over a girl .His dad is the doctor who advice u to stop coming with girls for abortion. And finally the mother is the sugar mommy who just bought u a ferrari sport car.Wat will u do?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-28 15:34:17

602 Views




During church service, this 16-year
old
pastor's daughter stood
up and says:
"praise the Lord!" everybody shouted
with
joy, "Hallelujah". She continued:
"since the age of 13, I've been
experiencing painful monthly
periods. But now, after a series of
Bible studies and prayers with
brother Alex in his house, my
monthly periods have stopped
for more than 3 months now. No
more pain, no more
menstruation.
You can see I'm even
getting fatter and prettier.
We are starting to pray seriously
about the small problem of
vomiting, especially in the morning.
Praise the Lord".
The whole church was silent! Brother
Alex fainted.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-19 19:47:38

563 Views




EPISODE 37

Mma felt faint.
She’d completely run out of energy. She felt her
body shutting down, her hands clasping Vanessa
in the air getting numb.
With one last stroke of energy she knocked the
syringe off Vanessa. The piece fell and skidded down the floor.
Mma opened her mouth to scream but the energy
to produce words was not there.
Vanessa groaned in the frustration. She picked the
pillow and pressed it down on Mma.
Mma struggled underneath. Vanessa didn’t relent. She held on ever so tightly.
But then, at that one glorious second, the door of
the ward flew open and Cynthia rushed through.
Dr Hope had called her. She hadn’t waited to hear
all the doctor had to say. As soon as she
mentioned that her friend dropped by the clinic, she threw the phone aside and ran downstairs.
She didn’t drive. She picked a taxi in front of their
gate. The hospital was not that far from their
residence in Ikeja.
Cynthia flew to the bed and pushed Vanessa off
Mma. Vanessa fell to the floor.
She bent over to make sure Mma was fine.
Vanessa grabbed her from the back and threw her
off.
Cynthia fell away but she regained her stance
quick enough and grabbed Vanessa before she could near Mma again.
They entwined, twisting this way and that in
ladies’ fight.
Vanessa seemed more experienced.
She pulled at Cynthia’s hair, earrings and
scratched all around her skin with her long nails. Cynthia cried out.
A nurse attending to a patient in a nearby ward
ran in.
‘Oh my god!’ The slim nurse ran out again, into the
silent hallway, screaming ‘Doctor!’ ‘Doctor!’
As if further enraged by the lady’s presence, Vanessa pushed Cynthia forward, away from her,
and sent her long heel crashing into her belly.
Cynthia let out a loud cry of pain and fell to the
floor.

>>

ab yaar itna girls k liye post krta hu ????

ek post boys k upar ????



Difference between real boys n fb ones



1) real name:-keshav,bhimrao,yogendra,lokendra

Fb:-rocky,smarty,yogi,smarty



2)bachpan se lekar ajtak kbhi apne family ko gm wish nahi kiya hoga but friendlist mein add har bandi ko personally gm wish karenge:P



3)real mein toh padhtey hai nhi but fb par last nyt we did group studies likhkar ek pic zarur sem se pehle update karenge:D bhale lyf mein bicharo ne books dekhi bhi na ho:P



4)pura din ghar par soye rehne par bhi status daltey hai ajj toh office mein itna kaam tha i m so tierd gosh



5)mumy ne daant daant kar jhadu se maar maar kar uthne ke bad jb bichare uthkar local market se bread ka pckt utha late hai….n status dalte hai had aloo tikki in kfc ..



6)10-15 gf bhi q na bana le but status humesha single hi rahegaRelated

snake [Read it]


BREAKING NEWS!!!
A very dangerous snake that has astonished
scientists in the world has been discovered.
according to BBC news, the strange snake keep
on increasing in length by 0.5cm every second
and if in any case it touches its body using its
own body, it dies immediately. That is the only
way it can be killed. This is the world most
deadly and poisonous snake for now. This kind
of
snake can only be found in Nokia torchlight
mobile phone under game option, snake Xenia.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-26 21:05:15

508 Views




MECHANIC JOKE BY DINDY
Please you guys need to stop looking at mechanics as some strangers from another planet and please stop looking at them as if they are madmen.
Let me explain the different features between madmen and mechanics
Madmen have;
1). Dirty fingers
2). Unkempt hair
3). Smelling cloths
4). Smelling mouth
5). Body odour
6). They also say things normal people don't understand.....etc.
Mechanics have;
1). Dirty fingers
2). Unkempt hair
3). Smelling cloths
4). Smelling mouth
5). Body odour
6). They also say things normal people don't understand.....wait!, what am i even saying? they are both the same....please o my people if you see a mechanic run ooo and if you are harbouring one please quickly take him to a mental institution for further treatment.......lol
#DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-09-29 00:01:34

166 Views




Mid week laff
Paul: do you drink beer?
Patrick: Oh yes
Paul: how many bottles per day?
Patrick: 5
Paul: When did u start drinking beer?
Patrick: 18yrs back.
Paul: how much is a bottle?
Patrick: $2
Paul: so you spent $10 for beer per day?
Patrick: yes
Paul: If you were saving that $10 per day times18yrs, you get $648 000, you could be driving your own Ferrari right now!
Patrick: May I also ask a question?
Paul: go ahead
Patrick: do u drink beer?
Paul: No
Patrck: So where is your Ferrari?
Enjoy your midweek.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-10 15:34:02

992 Views



Funny boy [Read it]


Teacher: “If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?”
Boy: “Seven!”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?”
Boy: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Let’s try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?” Boy: “Six.” Teacher: “Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?”
Boy: “Seven!”
Teacher: “How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?”
Boy: “I’ve already got one rabbit at home now!”

Guess the name of the boy?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-07 08:42:07

741 Views



funny yoruba [Read it]


yoruba girl will wear one pant for 3 months
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Then she'll finally take it off...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. are you thinking she wants to wash it??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
She will turn the back and wear it again....


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-03-28 21:17:06

432 Views




Jeeto and Santa see a hot girl.

Jeeto: So big, aren’t they?

Santa: Yes!

Jeeto: Are they artificial?

Santa: I think natural.

Jeeto: Earrings and Natural?

Silence…Related

Ladka, Ladki ke Baap Se: Mai Aapki Beti ka Haath Mangne Aaya Hu..!!!

Baap: Kyun ??

Ladka: Kyunki Ab Mera Haath thak Chuka Hai…Related

ONE WRONG TURN
Continues
Episode 14

As soon as the gateman saw us, he
beckoned on us to hurry up. We
quickened our pace, and entered
the gate house.
I saw too other girls inside the
house, i couldn’t tell which class
they were, because they were no
longer on their uniforms.
One was putting on blue denim
jean trousers, with a white t-shirt,
with very low neck line that
revealed some cleavage.
She was busy applying make up,
she hardly noticed our presence.
Her companion seemed a little
more decent, she was uneasy and
shy just like me.
They finished their make up, and
handed 1000 naira note to the
gate man.
He stepped outside, opened the
gate and looked around for a
while. When he was sure no one
was in sight, he beckoned on
them to proceed. They both
walked briskly across the gate and
out of sight.
It would be really difficult for
anyone to spot them, because the
rear gate was quite far from the
main school compound, and it was
shielded by trees and tall grasses.
It is rare for anyone to use the
rear gate. It is mainly used during
the morning hours, to ease traffic.
As i stood and watched, i began to
understand how the whole process
works. The gate man was merely
making money off the girls.
He collects, a fee of 500 naira
from each girl, and allows them
escape unnoticed. The gate house
was their changing room. The
gateman even keeps their uniform
safe when they are gone.
It all seemed like a safe plan, at
least for now.
“here, put this on” Ruth ordered,
as she handed me a pair of
leggings and a pink top.
I struggled into the trousers. It
felt really wierd, i had never worn
trousers before, my mum doesn’t
like it on me, even if she wears.
Hannah opened her school bag,
and brought out a box containing
make up accessories, and handed
them over to me.
I held on to them, not knowing
what exactly to do with them. I
have never used make up before.
This was a whole new experience
for me.
Ruth noticed my dilemma, and
came to my rescue. She applied
the make up on my face, layer
after layer. I felt like a different
person already.
I grabbed a mirror from the box,
and looked at my face. I couldn’t
believe how pretty i was.
The red lipstick matched my
earrings, the handbag went with
the shoes. Everything looked
perfect. I wished i could look like
this every day.
Ruth brought out her phone, and
dialed a number. I guess she
called Ehis.
Few minutes later, we heard the
sound of a car horn just outside
the gate.
The gate man came out, looked
around around as usual, to make
sure no one sees us. He signaled
us to go. Hannah handed over a
thousand naira note to him, as we
made our way outside.
Ruth waved me farewell with a
smile on her face, urging me to
have fun. She did not go with us,
because i had
Borrowed her cloths.
A car was packed just outside the
fence. I recognized it, it was the
same car from Sunday.
The door opened, and i sat in
front. Hannah took the back seat.
There was someone else at the
back, a boy. I haven’t seen him
before. But judging by his
appearance, he was in his late
twenties.
I turned towards Ehis at the
drivers seat. He smiled as my eyes
met his.
“you look beautiful honey”
“thank you” I replied, almost
blushing.
He introduced me to the boy at
the back, his name was Odion, he
was a cousin of Ehis, who just
returned from his NYSC.
I turned around and greeted him
in English. He extended a hand,
and i gave him mine. He drew my
hand up to his mouth and kissed
the back of my palm.
“You are such a pretty lady” he
said, starring down my cleavage.
I was a little embarrassed
“thank you sir” i replied, trying to
turn around quickly before he
tears of my bra with his eyes.
Ehis started the ignition, and
drove straight ahead. I had no
idea where we were going, or
what we were going to do. Ehis
simply said we would hang out.
I raised my head and looked at
the rear view mirror, i could see
Hannah and Odion. They were
kissing lustfully. He had one hand
underneath her skirt manipulating
her,while the other caressed her
b---m.
My heart began to beat faster. I
felt the tension building up in my
head. Only then i realised what
was going to happen that day.
I was deeply terrified, I didn’t
think i wanted to do this anymore.
But it was already too late, as Ehis
pulled over and stopped the car.

>>

Ekene:"why are u crying?"

Akpos:"i just got slapped in the face by a
lady"

Ekene:"what happened?"

Akpos:"i was holding a photograph,but i
dropped it and it fell underneath a woman dress. I asked her,'excuse me
can u hold up your dresses? I want to
take a photo! #Akpos vs Ekene. By AoNomolos #AoN







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-25 12:49:44

855 Views




During a Maths Test...
QUESTION 1 IF (3x^2+4x)/(2x+9) = 5 FIND X?
This was Akpos answer script he submitted to the Maths Teacher after
the test...
ANSWER X is plenty there.
One is beside 3, it has 2 on top.
There is another one besides 4.
X is also under, it is beside 2.
TEACHER'S REMARK: I think you are a very stupid boy!
#BOLLY_SMAR



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-02 09:53:19

313 Views



Bicycle Theft. [Read it]


A kid went to the police to report
about his lost bicycle this
morning...
KID: My new bicycle has been
stolen!
POLICE: When did you notice?
KID: This morning.
POLICE: Do you have a suspect?
KID: Yes, my mum and dad.
POLICE: Why do you suspect them?
KID: Yesterday at midnight, I heard
mum say, "Make it stand so I can
sit on it very well." and dad said,
"Climb up fast before it falls." I
then heard mum say, "Push Slowly,
don't hurt me!"
POLICE: (laughing uncontrollably)
Go back home kid, I'm sure they've
returned it!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-24 20:46:20

579 Views




Joy met Akpos after school and ask him, "Akpos do you think I'm pretty?"
Akpos looked at her from head to toe irritably and replied.
"You look like a monkey. And belong in a zoo."
Joy got angry and started squeezing her face.
Akpos touched her on shoulder and said "Do not worry, I'll be there too."
Joy a bit excited replied "Really?"
Akpos ans "Yeah, Not in the cage, But laughing at you".
Joy fainted


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-05-25 21:38:55

372 Views




Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in Maine, I was stopped by a state trooper in New York for exceeding the speed limit.Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, I gave him a small bag of my grandmother’s delicious chocolate-chip cookies and proceeded on my way.A short time later, I was stopped by another trooper.“What have I done?” I asked.“Nothing,” the trooper said, smiling. “I heard you were passing out great chocolate-chip cookies.”Related

Adejoke packed her cloth from the
floor, picked up olamilekan and
headed to the bedroom, i was
stunned with what i just heard, so
what exactly is Joke up to? Is she
trying to force me to marry her after 3
children? How will i marry someone
that has even been married before
when is not that there are no single
girls out there again, what is she
trying to achieve? Those where the
questions i was asking myself that are
begging for answers.
We couldn’t sleep in the same room
that night as i needed to think of
what to do with her, even though she
was the one that cooked the dinner i
took, the communication between us
was not that lively. After so much
thought that night, i decided that the
best thing for me was to send her
away before she feel relaxed. Fine
the son might be mine but i can
never ever marry someone like Joke
because if she can cheat on her
husband with me, she will definitely
cheat on me with another guy too
and for the fact that she already had
two children with another man was
not it at all…
First thing in the morning, i went to
the bedroom, she was still sleeping
and i woke her up, i told her bluntly
that even if i will accept responsibility
for the child, i can never marry her, i
gave her excuses that for the fact
that she was married before and had
two kids with another man, i can
never marry her as a wife
Joke: You must be crazy for saying
that, what do you take me for?
Oh..oh, its now you know you cant
marry someone that already have
kids with another man, when you are
fucking me with you sweet words,
didn’t i have children then? The first
time we had sex together at the NYSC
camp, was i not married? Didnt i have
a baby then? You can fuck a married
woman with 3 kids in the bush, in the
toilet, in your car,on the street , at
various hotels but you can never
marry that same woman…..Oga, you
are joking, ko jhoor rara, am going
nowhere, i prepared for you before
coming here because i foresee you
saying something like this but believe
me, am going nowhere..its either you
marry me or we both die
Me: Which one is die again, you are
taing this too far, i believe you
should try and understand me
Joke: Understand what? What do you
want me to understand? Understand
the fact that i had a baby for you and
you don’t want to marry me? Have
you forgotten all what you said
yesterday when you were rushing to
fuck me that i was the best thing that
ever happened to you. If i was the
best thing yesterday then i can be the
best thing for the rest of our lives……
I later turned it to serious fight as i
was dragging her out of the room,
the wrapper she was putting on fell
off at a point and i couldn’t drag her
out of the room naked and the fact
that the baby was seriously crying. It
was a serious fight that she bit me all
over my body and i slapped her so
many times too with some other
beating all over her. I have never
touched a lady before but the spirit
came from nowhere, we dragged for
close to two hours and i had to let go
and went out of the house when i
was unsuccessful.
I came back late in the night,
Olamilekan was asleep while Joke was
watching a movie, i hissed and went
to the bedroom, i was surprised
when she came to meet me in the
bedroom, and started pleading that i
should forgive her, she said where do
i want her to go as she has nobody
else to run to again except me,
everybody has rejected her already
and the man she love most is trying
to reject her too that how do i want
her to feel? She said her life is empty
that even though if i don’t want to
marry her, i shouldn’t have voiced
out so early as she was still going
through serious trauma, she believed
she will find comfort in me since i
always claimed she was the best
thing that ever happened to me that
was why she decided to start coming
to Ilorin, everybody has rejected me
and now you are also rejecting me…
she started crying uncontrollably.
I apologized to her too and made her
realized what i did was not
intentional that how will she feel
someone coming into her life
unexpectedly and the next thing that
was happening was the person trying
to forced himself on her. I told her
my reaction was based on anger and
i will never use my hand to hit her
again.

>>

A priest is walking down the street one daywhen he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house acrossthe street.

However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.

After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to theboy's position.

He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and,placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives thedoorbell a sold ring.

Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks,"And now what, my little man?"

To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-04 11:35:14

410 Views




Preeto: What is the least sensitive part of the penis?

Jeeto: The man attached to it!Related

“Duniya ka sbse khatarnaak hathiyaar kya hai?????……

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

..

.

.

.

Nahi pata?????….

.

.



Ladki ! ….. ache acho ki wat laga deti ……fir chahe pyar ho ya dosti.Related

For in reason, all government without the consent of the governed is the very definition of slavery.

-Jonathan SwiftRelated

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husbandto describe her.


He looked at her for a while…then said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E,F, G, H, I, J, K.”


She asks, “What does that mean?”


He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy,Gorgeous, Hot.


She smiled happily and said, “Oh, that’s so lovely. What aboutI, J, K?”


He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”


The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.Related

ournalist: Mr. Akpors, first of all, is it true that you are the bread
winner in your family.
Akpors : I am not hearing that allegation for the first time, I have
been hearing it for some time, I know this allegation is coming
from my political enemies who want to tarnish my image.
I want to tell you that I have never been in any competition to
win bread.
Ask them where I won that bread. If anyone saw me entering a
competition to win bread, then they must provide the evidence
otherwise I will start suing anyone saying I am a bread winner,
yes including you reporters and your newspapers.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-10 18:03:01

777 Views




FOUR YEARS AGO…

Sola Irumogbe walked into the hotel room, it was empty. She hissed in irritation, seeing he had not arrived and looked at the leather watch strapped tightly across her chubby wrist, her husband would be home at any minute and she had not gotten anything ready. She hoped and prayed that her daughter would at least prepare something before Festus got back.

She dropped her new bag with care on a nearby faded chair, tied her iro more securely around her waist and sat down on the bed. Waiting, her mind slowly went back to her childhood; her yesteryears, she could swear that if they had told her she would be cheating on her loyal husband, she would have denied it vehemently.

She remembered her home in the most pitiful slums in Lagos. Still, her mother had gone through hell and high water to send her to school while her father was the area’s drunkard. She had been teased while growing up, insulted and pushed around until she had pulled out of the clutches of poverty, she had broken the chains her parents had lived in.She had defeated the very thing she despised the most and yes, all those who mocked her now drooled with envy leaving them behind in the pit of mediocrity.

Look at her now. Who would have thought she was on the verge of the same thing she had despised her parents for? ‘A whole Sola Arebodun Irumogbe?’ Never!, Sola shouted within her, she would never go back, never be mocked and teased for anything, she would never be what her parents were.

“There must be a way out” Sola said to herself full of conviction. “There has to be a way out”. She would rather die than go back along with her husband and two girls to the pit of poverty and mediocrity. To be laughed at among her peers, those that feared her would fearlessly tread on her feet. Never!

* * *

Festus Irumogbe stared at the broken glass windowsill and smiled slowly to himself. The smile of a defeated man. He walked to the king-size bed that seemed to dominate the entire room and sat on the edge, resting his elbow on his knee and supporting the sagging chin with the cup of his palm.

What had he done to deserve this? Who had he offended? Was it God? He had cried and cried like a baby, rolled restlessly on the bed at night while his wife who was now the breadwinner of the family snored loudly beside him. Life indeed had dealt a terrible blow on him. Festus shook his head in shame; the shame of a defeat was the worst kind of shame for a once rich African man.

It all started when he had invested in a bad deal having taken a hefty loan from the bank. That was the beginning of his misfortune. Ah, had he listened to the prophet! His mind flashed back to the time of their last prayer session when he immediately ignored the warnings of the prophet. He had always been a daring man and now the lion had been tamed to a lamb.

He almost spat in self-disgust. The once rich and mighty had fallen like a great iroko tree, what would people say? Would they now laugh and mock his family? His mind was working furiously thinking of a way out, he had screamed at his friend when the investment in the South African firm had gone sour. The company was said to have folded up taking all the money he had invested into it; his friend, Chief Omotayo Ariyo had called it a pansy scheme.

Festus wiped the tear stained cheeks with the back of his hand, what would he do now? Whom would he turn too? He thought of his family who live by just the money from their mother’s business. Imabong would be off to school soon and that would mean another session of bills and school fees of the private university she attended. Thank God, Priscilla was done , left with her National Youth Service Corporation (NYSC) programme to complete.

Sola walked into the airless and dark room and let out an exasperated sigh as soon as she saw her husband staring morose into the air. She walked up to the curtains and opened them startling him from his thoughts.

“Ah Sola, when did you get in?” he asked turning to look at her

“Just now o”, his wife replied, sinking into the chair by the dressing table “I didn’t see Ima when I got in”

“She went to church,” Festus said waving his hands in dismissal.

“Have you eaten?”

“Yes, I warmed the vegetable left” he turned to look at her. “Mr Gbenga just called; the remaining investors have pulled out. I have nothing left,” he sobbed placing his face in his hands. Sola walked to her husband and rested his head on her stomach “There will be a way out, I’ll think of something. You should trust me.”

He looked at her sniffing like a child. “What are you planning, Sola?” Festus studied her under his bushy eyelashes; a shudder ran through him as a dark shadow fell across her face. He knew she slowly brewed something and this was one of those moments when he feared his wife the most.

***

Tunde drove into his parents’ house at the corner piece of Osborne Estate with the car his parents had presented as his birthday gift; the house seemed empty with only his father’s car parked under the shed. He parked his car and walked into the house, the door was strangely opened.

He was musing, musing over Karen again after the fight they had at her place in the morning. How many times would he have to ask her to marry him before she agreed? Why was she bent on being in his class before they could get married? Heck, he knew why. She had always felt inferior to people, having grown up in an average home. But it was not so bad, she was not suffering. She was just over ambitious.

Where was his father? His car was parked outside. The house cleaner, Margaret came out of her room quickly with a masked look of discomfort “Good afternoon oga”

“Good afternoon. Is my mum around?”, he looked round him as he spoke, wondering why the house was quiet.

“No sir, madam went to church for a meeting.”

“And dad?” Tunde caught her brief look of discomfort “where is he?”

“He is in the study”, Margaret replied hastily in a condescending tone. They looked at each other and he could tell she was uncomfortable. Margaret had been with them for long so why would she start acting formal.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes sir” she scurried away as though running from him and he watched her leave the sitting room. Tunde shrugged it off walking to the study with his mind still on Karen.

Somehow, the more steps he took closer to the door of the study the more he felt a cold tug at his heart. He could hear distinct sounds coming from the room and he placed an uncertain hand on the door knob his heart beating unsteadily in his chest.

Tunde slowly opened the door. He staggered back not prepared for what he saw.



TWO WEEKS LATER…

Tunde jolted upright from the bed; his body was slick with sweat and for a second, he tried to remember where he was, yes he was in Karen’s house. Not the study, “Karen’s house” he repeated quietly to himself.

His chest heaved unsteadily as in his mind’s eye; he kept replaying what happened two weeks ago. He could not understand why he had to be the unfortunate one to witness what he did as his eyes stayed on the sleeping body beside him.

Karen slowly got up rubbing her eyes in sleep. “What are you doing up?”

“I cannot sleep”, he replied shakily. She placed a hand on his shoulder in quiet understanding.

“Take things easy Tunde”, Karen replied gently. “This is life. Let your parents work it out, don’t get yourself involved in it”

“My mother doesn’t know” he replied, so full of pity and guilt. “I just can’t get over the shock of it, I can’t believe he would cheat on her with his best friend’s wife.”

“I’m sorry”. She kissed the smooth curve of his shoulder trying to ease his pain “Come back to bed Tunde”. Her tone was soft; it soothed his aching heart “Let me hold you for a while.”

This was why he loved her. She had a way she put his troubled mind at ease, they lay down with his head gently placed on her chest. She hummed sweetly to him until he fell asleep.

***

Tayo sat on the window ledge overlooking the busy roads of Ikoyi from his air-conditioned office; he gently swished the glass of burgundy in hand. He was buried in deep thought these past few weeks that everyone seemed to notice his eyes bulged from hours deprived of sleep. His wife readily believed it was stress from work, adding that he needed a vacation.

Tayo smiled, remembering Toun’s note of concern in her voice. His heart beat unsteadily waiting for the call from his assistant announcing Sola’s arrival. He had ended it the same day they were caught but it seemed she was dogmatic- though he had only just picked up one of her numerous calls after the threatening text message she sent to him. He knew she would go to his house if he did not grant her audience in his office.

Yes, she was that kind of woman, she claimed to love him but he knew she was the kind of woman who loved only herself. Sometimes, he wondered how she had stuck to his friend, Festus. Though Festus had openly cheated on her on several occasions, she herself had admitted to him on more than one occasion that she had gotten a fair share of lovers after her husband, in one of his throes of passion, had impregnated one of his flings.

He shuddered, thinking of what kind of marriage that would be and he felt a pang of guilt thinking of his faithful quiet wife at home who was innocent in all this. He thought of his children and how they would feel if they found out. Well, one of them found out and it didn’t go down well.

Tayo smiled a bit to himself thinking of his son, Tunde. Things had changed between them now. He could not even stand proud before his son and Tunde in turn shielded away from even looking at him. Damn Sola for this, damn her for getting under his skin four years ago…

The intercom shrilled interrupting his thoughts and Tayo got up, placing the receiver on his right ear. “Hello”

“Sir, Mrs Irumogbe is asking to see you.”

He took a deep breath before replying, “Send her in.”

He heard the call disconnect, placed the receiver back in its cradle and sat behind his large oak desk. He sat there staring at the door. The door finally creaked open and Sola came in, smiling benignly at him. She closed it softly behind her, not taking her eyes away from him.

He stood up not moving from his seat while she walked up to him; Going round the table to face him, she left no space between them.

“Hello Tayo.”

“Sola”

She tried to kiss him but he looked away and she smiled in understanding. Sola walked back around the table and sat on a sofa, her boubou making a whisper as the ankara swept the tiled ground.

“I came to talk.”

He sat in his hair not taking his eyes off her. “I ended this a while back, if that’s why you came then I’m sorry but I’m busy.”

She laughed, a callous sound, “This is more important.”

“Does Festus know you are here?”

“Does Festus know we make love?”, she pinned him with her gaze at the direct question, making him feel a flood of guilt wash over him.

“What did you come here for?” His tone sounded weary.

She shrugged “Festus is planning to sell his company.”

“What does that have to do with us?” Tayo asked puzzled, he loosened a button from his shirt.

“It’s ‘us’ now I see?” She raised an eyebrow in amusement. Sola stared at him, seeing he was trying to maintain his composure and she almost smiled. It was very easy to control a man, which was her pride in being a woman. It was what got her to where she was.

“As I said Festus is planning to sell his company to you.”

He shook his head the minute she spoke “We won’t buy. It’s a lot of money to get that firm started up again.”

Sola laughed this time, her eyes brightened up at the challenge “Oh you would, you see Festus has been assured that you would.”

“By who?” He knew the answer before he finished his statement.

“Me of course”, Sola replied, staring at him, challenging him.

Tayo grunted. They both knew she was playing at something but he was patient. He wanted to hear it out. “That still won’t help you out of your situation” he scoffed. “I don’t think you understand the full extent of a pansy scheme.”

She smiled at him tentatively. “You seem to forget that I too am educated and unlike my ignorant husband I know what a pansy scheme means and trust me I hold the 4 aces here”.

He eyed her cautiously slowly understanding with dread what she wanted to do “What game are you playing now Sola?”

“No game at all Chief Ariyo”, Sola replied smugly. She felt her hold on him growing each minute “You see I thank God for opening your eyes to reality the day your son caught us. My pastor always says that all things work together for those that love the Lord,” she laughed, giving full effect to her words. “Your decision opened my eyes to new possibilities”

“What are you planning Sola?” Tayo replied shakily as the cold hand of fear slowly curled around his heart. “What do you want?”

“I want you to buy that company and I want a percentage of any profits you make come straight to our account. I can settle on 20% if you don’t mind.”

Tayo threw back his head in laughter. “You must be mad Sola! Raving mad!”, he sniffed trying to regain his composure. “Who gave you such an outrageous idea? I should have known you would come up with such a dull plan. You think you can sink your claws into my money, you think Festus would agree to that?”

“Leave my husband to me”, her tone was curt and she could feel her anger rising. “I’m very sorry for you, you are laughing at me? You forget I hold the cards here.”

“I think it’s high time you left Sola, I’m a very busy man and I don’t have time for your weak fantasies on how you can blackmail me into giving you money.”

“My weak fantasies?”, she repeated, “I am very serious and I give you just three days to decide.”

“What would you do if those three days are up?” He stared at her. “You would threaten to tell our families? Please get out.”

She laughed and ignored his last statement clapping her hands “So you are catching up! Yes,”, Sola replied coldly. “l would tell everyone what a husband you are! How is your wife’s health? I hope you aren’t going to give her a heart attack with her high blood pressure.”

“Are you mad Sola? You think I would sit back and watch you terrorize me?”

“I don’t think we would let it get to that”, she replied sweetly. “Think of this as a business deal and you know I don’t make idle threats. I have nothing to lose. Even if my husband hears about my unfaithfulness, he would never dare to speak but your family…” she grimaced. “The great Ariyo family…”

“You are very wicked”, he looked at her in deep hatred. “You think your plan will work? If the company has been sold, people will wonder why a percentage of the profit belongs to you”, Tayo snared.

“Not when Tunde is married to my daughter”, Sola replied calmly as his face darkened in anger.

Tayo almost jumped out of his seat with what she said. God, he wanted to kill this woman, he wanted to throttle her neck where she sat so comfortably spilling all this nonsense from her mouth. “Get out of my office”, he barked in anger “Leave my office.”

Sola slowly got up, clutching her purse. As she did, she plastered a broad smile on her thin lips gazing steadily at him. “You keep forgetting that I also know about this pansy scheme and I know it was you who set the whole thing up.”

“That is a wild allegation to make; you forget that I was also punned into it.”

“You make me laugh. It was you who set the whole thing up, you seem to forget the day you let a little of your escapade slip from your running mouth.”

“All you have are just empty words”, Tayo replied coldly.

Sola smiled. “Not when I have a flash drive to prove it. I’m sure you’d like to know when I had it with me.” He said nothing and she continued “I’m not stupid. In fact, in this whole game I’m the wisest.”

“Just get out.”

Sola walked towards the panel door leading outside his office “Three days’ time”, she laughed and walked out of the office.

Tayo sat slowly in his seat, he realized he was shaking; he was in trouble, deep trouble.

>>

Deliriously happy was an apt description of how I felt as we drove back to my house. Thoughts of being sick and what that meant no longer played in my mind on repeat. I was a little nervous about telling my family about us but Grey wasn't. "Don't be so nervous. I'm pretty sure they will be happy for us," he assured me as he covered my hands with his.

I had no idea how my family was going to react. There was no doubt that my family loved him but I wasn't sure how they would feel about the two of us together. I glanced to Grey and he smiled at me. My stomach flipped and I smiled back at him.

"I like to see you happy," he said. His eyes studied me for a moment before he looked back to the road.

"You make me happy," I said softly. Just being with around him put a smile on my face. Before it had felt like I'd been searching for something I found with him.

"Good," he said squeezing my hands under his.

I still felt like I was dreaming. It just seemed too good to be true but no matter how many times I pinched myself I didn't wake up, this was real. It was late morning by the time he parked in the driveway of my house. He switched off the car and faced me.

"Come on," he said as he opened his door.

I wanted to be able to spend more time just the two of us but after hearing my news my family would need me.

I opened the door and got out. Grey waited beside me. He reached his hand out for mine. I didn't think I would ever get over the simplest things like holding his hand. It still blew my mind that my life had changed so suddenly.

The dark thoughts crept back in as we got to the front door. There was no hiding from it. I was sick, very sick. That could only be forgotten briefly, if at all. I shook my head. I squeezed his hand tightly feeling nervous. He stopped and looked down at me.

"We don't have to do this if you don't want to," he said softly. "I don't want to rush you into something you're not ready to do."

"I want to," I said trying to disguise the nervousness I felt. Now that I finally had what I'd wanted for so long there was no way I was ever letting it go.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

I nodded my head and he smiled. The flash of his dimples was enough for my knees to weaken.

I'd never really thought of what my family's reaction would be if we'd ever got together, maybe it was because I always thought it would be something I would dream about but never live the reality of.

He opened the door and led me inside. Voices were coming from the kitchen. Quietly I followed him into the kitchen.

"Hi baby," my mom greeted. I smiled at her. She was trying so hard to be her normal self but I could see the emotion mixed with fear in her eyes. I wanted to hug her and tell her everything would be all right even if I didn't know it for a fact.

"Hi," I greeted. The knots in my stomach tightened.

My mom was the first to see our connected hands. She gave us a questioning glance and I smiled sheepishly. Her lips widened in a smile and she beamed at us. I looked to see my Father smile at us.

"It's about time," my brother said as he stood up and came over to shake his friend's hand. He even leaned over and gave me a brief hug. About time? Had he known how his friend had felt?

I gave Grey a questioning look.

"Yeah, he knew."

I'd been nervous for nothing.

"This is wonderful!" my mom said as she hugged both of us. To them he was the nice and dependable boy that had been a part of our family for years not the bad boy rocker who had reputation with women.

Even my dad shook his hand.

"I'm happy for you," he whispered in my ear when he hugged me. "You deserve this."

"Thanks," I whispered. I couldn't help thinking about the tumor and how much time I still had to be happy.

As if sensing my sudden change in my mood Grey squeezed my hand and I looked to him. There was no mistaking what I was thinking about.

"It will be okay," he whispered and I nodded my head. I wanted to believe his words but the reality was no one knew what was going to happen.

My mom started to make us breakfast and we sat down beside my brother. The happy atmosphere couldn't get rid of the underlying worry that we were all busy trying to hide.

"What time is the appointment with the specialist?" my mom asked Grey.

"At two," he answered. I looked down at my watch. I had two and a half hours still to go. A knot of nervousness settled into my stomach and when my mom offered me some scrambled eggs I shook my head.

The next two hours dragged but finally it was time to get in the car and drive to the specialist.

Bringing my whole family to the appointment seemed a bit much. Grey said he would drive and it was a given that the other person to go with would be my mom. It was strange that I was eighteen years old and enough to make my own decision but at that moment I wanted nothing more than to have my mom with me.

Grey drove us while I sat in the passenger side. My mom sat in the backseat. Some traffic made a us a few minutes late for the appointment and it only added to the stress that had been steadily building.

"He will wait," Grey assured me as he parked the car outside the building. I tried to calm my nerves as I got out the car and looked up the glass building in front of me.

I can do this, I kept repeating in my head.

Grey opened the back door and helped my mom out as I clasped my hands together. I'd already gotten really bad news so I wasn't sure why I was stressing so much. It couldn't get worse, could it?

This time he didn't take my hand into his as he led us into the building. No one other than our family knew we were dating so we could keep it a secret. I had so much going on I didn't want the press to find out about us yet.

A short lift ride and we were on the fourth floor.

I sat down with my mom in reception while Grey spoke to the receptionist. The girl was our age. One smile from Grey and she was star struck. It still surprised me to see girls act that way around him. Even knowing how he felt about me I couldn't help feeling a little annoyed when she seemed to hang onto every word he said. She even leaned forward to display her cleavage better and I tightened my hands into fists so I didn't go over to her and tell her he was mine.

The receptionist ushered us into our appointment with the specialist.

"Mr. Grayson," the specialist greeted Grey as he extended a hand to him. Grey shook it.

"Mr. Clark," Grey said turning to me. "This is Lacey Harper."

"Hi Miss Harper," Dr Clark greeted me. Grey introduced my mom and I took a moment to look the doctor over. He was much older than the specialist I'd seen before. Did that make him more experienced? I hoped so.

Once the introductions were made we were seated and the specialist sat down behind a big oak desk. He opened a few files and saw him shift through some of the pages. It was probably my files from the other specialist so he wouldn't have to repeat the same test.

I watched the doctor's face for any sign of good or bad news but this guy had the best poker face. I had not clue what he was thinking as he went through my file.

When his eyes lifted to mine I knew whatever he was going to say wasn't going to be good. Grey must have seen the same thing because he reached out and held my hand as we waited for the specialist to give us his verdict.

His eyes met with Grey's before they rested back on me.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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meeting Parents [Read it]


A girl invites her boyfriend over for dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner she wants to have sex with him for the first time.


The boy is ecstatic, but nervous because he's a virgin. He goes to the pharmacy to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist his situation and asks for advice. The pharmacist tells him everything there is to know about sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks how many condoms he'd like to buy: a 3-pack or a 10-pack. The boy says he feels lucky and insists on the 10-pack.


That night, the boy shows up for dinner a little late. His girlfriend meets him at the door leads him straight to the dinner table where her parents are already seated. The boy sits down, quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still silent with his head down. Five minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 10 minutes, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boy, "I had no idea you were this religious."


The boy turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-04 12:23:13

610 Views





An Igbo man mistakenly sent 2million Naira to a wrong
phone number via Mobile Money. He realised that before
the person withdraws the whole money,he had to think
of what to do to get his money back. To the person's
phone number,he immediately sent a text: "Hello Dark
and Worthy Initiate, I hope you are okay. I believe you’ve
received the money I sent you for the initiation
ceremony into Eternal Mystical Order Of Glorious Satanic
Order in the Ogboni Fraternity scheduled to occur at
12midnight tomorrow. That money is only for transport. I
will send you more for pocket money and there are
riches awaiting you. 2 weeks after the initiation, the
family member closest to you will die under mysterious
circumstances and this death will unlock your ticket to
wealth, ability to fly at night and change into all kinds of
animals to deliver your various assignments. Remember
to carry a syringe and needle meant to draw your blood
every 20 minutes. Please don't be late because the
Viceroy of Satan himself will be present to officiate the
ceremony. Thanks in advance. But in case you are not
ready to join, please send back the money or you will die
in the next 24hrs". 3 Minutes later. Igbo man gets a
Mobile Money message – You have received 2million
Naira for your mobile money account.
If you were the one the money was sent to mistakenly,
after seeing the text what would you do?



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-16 10:59:43

189 Views




Girls Only Know Two Thing Perfectly,

1. Make Up.

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2. Break Up. ????Related


My name is Freedom, last week.., there was a program
going on in our
church titled "law fest"..
This is a program where by, you will buy a gift, wrap
and package it, another
person will buy his or her own gift, wrap and package it,
then we will all gather in the church and exchange the
gifts.
So last week, I don't have much money with me and I
don't want to miss the
program because, I must gain a nice gift from
someone.. So I decided to
buy anything, I went and bought garri, u know that garri
use to be heavy, so I
package the garri in form of television, I bought a carton
of television, put
the garri inside and support it with a heavy stone, then i
packaged it,
and it gave me a shape of television.
So when I arrived at the church, people were dragging
to seat with me
because they want to exchange their own gift with
mine. (Una don die
today) I said in my mind" Finally Gloria Maria who also
brought her own gift sat near me, her gift has the
shape of a fridge, I don't know what is inside but I
believe is a nice gift. (I don
hammer" I said in my mind) So when it got to the time
of exchanging of gifts, me and Gloria Maria both
exchanged our gifts, she smiled and collected my own
gift that contains garri and
stone but in shape of television.
I collected her own gift, it was heavy like a fridge, I ran
home quickly before
the girl will change her mind.
When I got home, I lock my door and windows, very
happy that I have cheated the girl and collected her
nice gift, but I have begged God for
forgiveness because I don't have much money.
When I opened the gift, behold!! I saw two bags of sand
with two heavy
stones bigger than the stone I put inside my own gift,
when I opened the bag of sand I saw a written letter,
which reads:.."I saw you yesterday when you
are packaging your own garri and stone, you think you
are wise"
I just fainted......


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-11 19:40:43

461 Views



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