Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:
Happiness comes not …. [Read it]
Happiness comes not because we do great things, but because we do small things with great love. Be filled with love everyday.
HEART CODE: Episode 4 (Life expectancy) [Read it]
“What?, my mom is awake? Are you sure of what you’re saying?” ,Ledan who was so surprised at the latest news asked back to back questions.
“Yes Sir! , she’s awake and demands for your presence immediately”, the nurse replied.
“Let’s go please”, he followed after the nurse unable to hold in his curiosity anymore.
In no time, they got to Ledan mother’s ward. Lo and behold, Ledan met one of the strangest miracle of the millennium, his mother who has been diagnosed with stroke and slated to die in a week time is sitting up and looks as healthy as ever.
“Leave us!, I want to be alone with my son”, grandma said in a commanding tone.
The two nurses in the room gave Ledan a questioning look and he nodded in approval after which they left.
“You shouldn’t have done that!”, grandma said in a high pitch voice after the nurses had left, “don’t you know, pride comes before a fall?, your so-called ego led you to an irrational action which will make your unborn son face serious consequences”, grandma remarked leaving Ledan in the valley of confusion as he wondered how grandma came to know all these. “Perhaps she was possessed, or her ghost might be talking”, he thought.
“Get a pen!”, grandma said, “I said get a pen and paper now!”, grandma barked the order with much vigor and power than her old age suggests.
Ledan looked around and found a pen and a jotter on the table which he took and came back to where grandma was staying.
“March 27, 2020!”, grandma said while Ledan was looking at his seemingly possessed mum with a puzzled look.
“What are you waiting for?, write it down”, grandma blurted out leaving Ledan with no other option but to act as told.
Grandma appearing satisfied continued, September 5, 2023?, which Ledan wrote down without much ado.
“February 14, 2025”, grandma finally said Ledan wrote it down in the small jotter.
“Those days I called are three evil days your unborn son’s will experience in his life and he could die on any of the three days but he’s bound to die on the third day”, grandma explained as Ledan attempted to protest but grandma had continued before he could utter a word, ” this is the consequence of your ego and wickedness and your unborn son will have to face the waterloo for your crimes”.
"He would be called Gift by every one, he would love music dearly”, grandma added leaving Ele to laugh out loud for the first time.
Grandma ignored him and continued as if truly possessed, “only one thing could save him, that’s LOVE”.
Almost immediately the tears of a baby was heard, simultaneously grandma ceased to breath.
Ledan was numb! He couldn’t believe what was happening around him, he blamed everything on Akande who he believed has always been cynical and pretending, first of all stole his position in office and now his son’s happiness have been stolen by that same man.
He vowed to deliver karma himself to the ever condenscending Akande. “What a life expectancy Fate has given my son”, he thought out loud.
Akande couldn’t believe all that was currently happening around him. His joy of becoming a father has been overclouded by the lost of his job. They had gotten 7.25 million from the patrol money, and had kept it in his office because he was the head of the patrol team as the most senior officer. Only he,Ledan and Officer Sani knew the money was kept in his office.
Ledan has been with his pregnant wife who has been in labour for hours, and even though, he could bet his life that his best friend will never bring such harm to him. Officer Sani had gone somewhere with another team for patrol, so who on earth could have taken the money, if he put his mind to it, he could catch the culprit, but God had saved him, because a lot of people in the Force have ended up in jail in this kind of situation, but as the honest officer he his, he was only given a sack letter. At least he is now a father, if he were to choose between keeping his job or getting his daughter, he would choose getting a daughter over and over again.
“Life doesn’t give us challenges we can’t handle, there are people who have all the riches of this world, but would easily give them up for good health and a child, both of which he currently has, once there’s life there’s hope”, he thought, “All fingers ain’t equal Allhamdulilah for mine”, he said with a deep sigh.
bad news [Read it]
Akpos wife was in the emergency room, she was having a baby. Few minutes later, the doctor came out and said...
DOCTOR: I've got good news and bad news
AKPOS: what happen doctor?
DOCTOR: during the course of the operation,your wife died
AKPOS: what is the bad news?
husband and wife [Read it]
husband and wife agreed that whenever they want to have sex they will call it ' phone call' so that the children won't understand. one day dad sand son to tell mum, that he went's to make a phone call mum, replies tell dad that network is busy to day; dad replies tell mum that the call is urgent. if the network is busy am going to a public phone booth: mum replies tell him that if he date goes to public phone booth, I Will open a business central and all phone calls will be free.
9ja police be like. [Read it]
•Why is your laptop bag empty,u want to steal laptop and keep it in the bag abi, oya enter motor!
•The victim committed Suicide, but we just arrested the person that killedhim.....
dis your Range Rover Sport fine o. oya use am take jam dis wall make we
check weda ur airbag dey work perfectly. But u no gree? oya park!!!
your car no get A/C? u wan use heat kill yourself...u wan commit
suicide, we will rather arrest you than let you commit suicide?.. Oga
•The picture in your license, you carry Afro with beards, why do u now carry low cut without beards uhn? Ogbeni Abeg come down.
•Why do u have fertilizer in your boot? You dey grow weed abi? Follow us to station
Sleeping son [Read it]
One early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up
MOM: Wake up, son. It's time to go to school.
SON: But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school.
MOM: Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school.
SON: One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.
MOM: Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.
SON: Give me two good reasons WHY I should go to school?
MOM: One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.
Akpos and his son [Read it]
Akpos and his son
Son: Daddy, our teacher gave us an assignment to find out the meaning of "African Time".
Akpos: when where you asked to submit the assignment?
Son: In a week time.
Akpos: I will tell you before then and meanwhile your mother told me you keep late night. From today onwards you are expected to be home before 7pm. Failure to do so, you will see the other side of me. Did i made myself clear? "Yes daddy", responded his son.
6 days later his son asked him, dad you taught me not to return home late and for 5 days now you have been coming back from 9pm. Akpos replied, Thats "African time" for you
Full Bed Bath [Read it]
The nursing student, on her first rotation in the ICU, had to give a patient a full bed bath. She had never given one before and was terribly nervous about it.To make matters worse, the patient was a gentleman in his late sixties who had been admitted after a heart attack. As se nervously set her equipment up, she confessed to the patient that she had never given a full bed bath before.“I’ll tell you what,” he said, “how about if you wash as far down as possible, and as far up as possible, and then I’ll wash possible?”Related
A developed country …. [Read it]
A developed country is not a place where the poor have cars.
It’s where the rich use public transportation.
~ Gustavo PetroRelated
The President's Daughter And I... PART 9 [Read it]
I closed up the distance to my room and found
someone standing in front of my room… next
thing i heard was…
Mirabel: Hi Victor
Me: (Like seriously? am i dreaming or what??
Mirabel How did she even locate my
room) Hi Mirabel
Mirabel: Hhmmm… he even knows my name
Me: Yes i do, what are u doing here?
Mirabel: Just to talk
Me: About what?
Mirabel: Why do u hate me?
Me: *Laughing in my mindI don’t know what
you’re talking about
Mirabel: Why don’t u talk to me then? u make
friends with people, those girls and all, while u
snub me whenever u walk pass. And you’re also
trying to make me look like a fool in the class by
answering questions with more details whenever
i attempted… tell me why you’re being like this?
Yet people say you’re cool.
Me: (Chai! Where do i start from?) Listen, i have
no negative intention towards u at all…
everything u just said is coincidental i must say.
I mean, i don’t even know u so… why would i be
mean towards u? Its crazy, it doesn’t make any
Mirabel: What about the snubbing?
Me: Well, that… i dunno, just that i don’t want
to be embarrassed or even feel embarrassed at
Mirabel: What do u mean by that?
Me: U know i’m talking about class,
sophistication. I saw how u treat those guys,,,
made me think you’re arrogant.
Mirabel: Can we go to somewhere and talk?
Me: U mean now?
Me: I just got here, i need to rest little
Mirabel: May i come in?
Me: (What?! Sh!t No!) See, uhmm… how about
we talk some other time? I really need to rest
Mirabel: Very well then…. its ok, and ermm…
sorry for coming unannounced.
*My phone rings*
Me: Its okay…
Mirabel: Alright, see u around
Me: U too
She left with her bodyguards while i answer my
Lola: Hi handsome, are u on your way already?
Me: About to, let me just take care one or two
Lola: Ok, make sure u don’t eat anything before
Me: What? Why??
Lola: Hey, easy there food lover, just don’t eat
before coming over ok?
Me: Hhmmm… ok
Lola: Good boyy… take care of your whatever
and come here ASAP
See? This is exactly what i was trying to avoid
in the first place… Promise!! See what your
advise got me into?! I don’t want to go back to
who i was with the girls… now its happening
again. If person no fine, dem go say him no fine.
If person know book na girlogical and
sexaddiction problem, if him no know na
academical and illiteracy problem. Chai!
I open my door, got in, off my clothes and
removed everything in my pockets then saw the
number that girl gave to me earlier. I don’t even
know if i should call her or not, i just kept it one
side hoping i would forget it.
So… that girl said i should not eat abi? I hope
they have a better food for me ‘coz i don’t joke
with my food at all. I took my bath and got
myself ready to go there… the shoes i was
supposed to wear, those yeye friends of mine
took it already. I just dressed casually, took my
accounting note and head out thats after i took
a bottle of yoghurt with me, sipping it along the
The bike guy dropped me in front of the gate, i
paid him he zoomed off while i called Lola to
inform her. She came out in less than a minute
putting on a mini-shirt with a tight transparent
short and gave me a tight hug, then ushered me
in. Wow! Look at the environment filled with
exotic cars, so beautiful with flowers all over,
they got swimming pool, awesome! Thats
something that’d motivate me to come next time
‘coz i love swimming. Walking with her to their
lodge with her holding my arms like a girl
welcoming her fiance to her parent’s house.
Getting closer, i sighted the 1st class wing, i
didn’t get the full visuals though, but it was
We got into their apartment, i was like ‘students
living in a family house?’
Cynthia rushed to give me a hug wearing a bra-
like shirt with ah bum short chai! What is their
I sat down, as in they put me in their middle
bombarding me gists, u know erm… this eh…
that this… that that bla bla bla…
ME: Ok ermm… lets get to business
Lola: Come on… u just got here
Cynthia: And its your first time of coming here.
So… we have to treat you well don’t u think?
To My People, I Extend The Question To Y’all,
What Do U Think??.
To Be Continued... #B-goF
>> Part 10 -
Clean environment [Read it]
TEACHER: What should we do to keep the environment clean?
STUDENT 1: We should put all rubbish in the bin
TEACHER: Good! Next person.
STUDENT: Sir, we should stop schooling, so that no one dump rubbish in the compound.
Preacher [Read it]
A Preacher said: "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river". And the congregation cried,"Amen!" "And if I had all thewine in the world, I'd take it and throw it in the river". And the congregation cried,"Amen!" "And if I had all thewhiskey and rum in the world, I'd take it all and throw it in the river". Againthe congregation cried,"Amen!"
The preacher sat down. The deacon then stood up& said: "For our closing hymn, let's turn to page 126 of our hymn books and sing, 'We shall drink from that river".
THE CONGREGATION SCREAMED HALLELUJAH!!
Every day we clean o …. [Read it]
Every day we clean our teeth with Tooth-brush.
Same way, let’s clean our mind, heart and soul with Truth-brush.
A Funny Crime Story. [Read it]
Five friends lives in one room. There names re Mad, Brain, Fool, Nobody an Somebody. One day, Somebody killed Nobody. At that time Brain was in the bathroom. Mad called the police. Mad: Hello police! Somebody has killed Nobody. Policeman:You must be Mad? Mad: Yes I am Mad. Policeman: Don't you have Brain? Mad: Yes actually Brain is in the bathroom. Policeman: are u a Fool?. Mad: No sir I am Mad actually Fool is busy preparing dishes.
Akpos and taxi driver [Read it]
One day akpos was going home from work,he entered a taxi without asking how much the driver will collect.when he reached his house he told the man stop here .this is my house said akpos.how much will you collect? asked akpos.10 dollars answered the driver.akpos searched his wallet and then told the taxi driver "take me back to my office,i only have 7 dollars.the taxi driver hit akpos hard and he fainted!
MTN CHEAT [Read it]
I just tried dis and it worked...........
HOW TO BORROW AIRTIME WITH MTN
WITHOUT PAYING BACK.
This will work for MTN Users Only
Follow the Steps below
1. Borrow airtime by dialing *606#.
2. After you have exhausted the borrowed
airtime, Dial *326# and change your date to
3. Remove your battery and Sim.
4. Insert d battery&Sim card back, u’ll receive a
feedback Message from MTN saying :-
Dear customer, the thunder wey go fire u still de DAB
In a country of free …. [Read it]
In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?Related
#All about Blues [Read it]
Harrysong- Reggae Blues remix ft.
Afta d matches face d boo (d blues, d
Make u do as I do (I do, U do)
Enjoy d matches Chelsea lose(d blues, don
Share d pts n score d goals(d pts d goals)
Every team wana win (d blues d blues)
As far as IVANOVIC dey play(dey play dey
Wingers o pop champagne oo.... Aahhh
Bobo c Naismith wey dem dey boo(dey boo
He don turn Amokachi d bull(d bull d bull)
Mourinho dnt know wat to do(to do to do)
Oga Abrahimovic just dey look(dey look dey
If Ivano play dem must lose(must lose must
Porto na tiger bitee d blues (d blues d
Dem Hazard oooo
He don taya ooooo
If Mou no sell lvanovic
Dem go still dey lose.
Going to random wedd …. [Read it]
Going to random weddings and getting an erection by looking at hot girls is like:
“Begaani Shaadi Mein Abb Lulla Deewana!”Related
People always make w …. [Read it]
People always make war when they say they love peace.
~ David Herbert LawrenceRelated
9ja Nawa oº°??°ºo [Read it]
NIGERIA DON TIRE ME
I go school ----> cultism
I nor go school ----> illiteracy
I write jamb -----> no admission
I go university ----> strike
I go bank -----> BVN wahala
I relax for outside ----> kidnapping
I go work -----> No salary
Make I shake hand ----> Ebola
I buy Garri -----> Lassa fever
Mosquito bite me -----> Zika virus
Make I chat ----> No light
I buy motor ----> No fuel
NIGERIA NO EASY OOOOOO
Joke part 63 by Dindy [Read it]
JOKE PART 63 BY DINDY
Girl: You are too rude Dindy.
Dindy: I know.
Girl: No girl will ever marry you with such a character.
Dindy: Good, how old are you?.
Dindy: Are you married yet?.
Dindy: Don't you think you need a face surgery?.
Girl: You are an idiot!.....
DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Watch out for part 64.
my problem wit phones [Read it]
My Android don chop my money tire, na him I come vex yesterday sell am, come take some money buy chinaphone! The phone get TV, Touch screen, Nail cutter, Fire lighter etc. I fit write Text message with toothpicks sef. But now am in bigger trouble!!!
1. E go full after 3 minutes of charging.
2. The spellings get mistakes e.g NokLa, blackderry, i-pon, samswag etc.
3. When aeroplane pass, e go record "One missed Call".
4. When a big car horn; e go show "Charger connected"
5. When Chinese man pass, e go show: "One Bluetooth device found"
6. When fine lady waka pass, e go show "WiFi On"
7. When ugly lady waka pass, e go show, "Virus detected"
Abeg ooo! I wan sell am! Who wan buy ooo? Even as I dey find buyer, e dey show me for screen say "No contacts found"
Pls don't laugh alone, send to those you wish to put a smile on their face
TIME ForBOYS TO BREAK UP [Read it]
DECEMBER IS AROUND THE CORNER! TIME For
BOYS TO BREAK UP LOL!!!
1* U saw me sweeping my room n u never care
2 collect the broom and finish d sweeping, It's
2* U don't bend properly wen u
sweep, U wil have Pride issues, & i can't marry
a proud woman, *its over*
3* Did u just call me honey? You are trying to
say my mum is a Bee? We're done! *its over*
4* My mum checked my future, you are not in
it. *its over*.
5* baby my mum says dat there are a lot of
witches in ur village so we can't go out
anymore! *its over*
6* why would u tell me to watch champions
league wen Man United is not there! U want to
mock me abi? *Its over*
7* U smiled at d guy in the car while we were
trekking. *its over*
8* U don't use ma picture as ur profile picture,
9* U cook d eggs instead of boil, it's over,,,U
hug me instead of kissing me it's over
10* Anytime u enter my house
network will disappear it's over and over!
11* I gave you six eggs, boil 3 and fry 3, you
boiled the wrong 3 and fried the wrong 3, Lobatan *Its
OVER... now add yours guys!
THIS DOG IS A GENIUS! [Read it]
A butcher saw a dog in front of his shop,
he saw 10 pound and a note in his
mouth that read, "10 pound meat,
please." Amazed, he took the money, put 10
pound meat in the dog's mouth and
quickly closed his shop. He followed the dog and watched him
wait for a green light, looked both ways
and trot across the road to a bus stop.
The dog stood waiting. When a bus
arrived, he walked around to the front
and noticed the destination, then boarded the bus. The butcher followed,
dumbstruck. As the bus travels out into the suburbs,
the dog took in the scenery. After a
while he stood on his back paws to
push the "stop" button, then the
butcher followed him off. The dog ran
up to a house and dropped his bag on the stoop. He went back down the path,
took a big run and threw himself -
Whap!- against the door. He does this
again and again. No answer. So he jumped on a wall, walked around
the garden, beats his head against a
window, jumped off and waited at the
front door. A big guy opened it and
started cursing and pummeling the dog. The butcher ran up, screaming at the
guy, "What the hell are you doing? This
dog is a genius!" The owner responded, "Genius my ass.
IT'S THE SECOND TIME THIS WEEK HE HAS
FORGOTTEN HIS KEY!"
looking 4 ur wife [Read it]
Two guys are moving about in a supermarket when their carts collide. One says to the other, "Excuse me, I was too busy looking for my wife."
"What a coincidence, so am I, and I'm getting a little desperate."
"Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?"
"She's tall, with dark hair, long legs, firm breasts, and a tight butt. What's your wife look like?"
"Never mind, let's look for yours."
The Runs Girl..... Season 1 - Episode 10 [Read it]
I had barely gotten to my room when my phone began to ring.
I looked at the caller and it was the receptionist at Hilly
Zander guest house.
Instantly, my heart skipped 3beats and my breath
The reason why she was calling me was clear to me and
this added to my anxiety.
But then I had to pick or else I would be tagged the chief
suspect without any waste of time.
With trembling hands I picked the call.
“Hello,” I said on picking.
“Yes, am I speaking with Cindy?” The female voice at the
other end of the line asked.
“Yes, you are,” I replied.
“What did you do to Alhaji? Alhaji was found dead this
morning after you had left. What did you do to him?” She
asked nearly precipitating a spontaneous cardiac arrest
I nearly slumped on hearing the receptionist’s question
but to God be the glory I didn’t.
“I don’t understand what you’re talking about,” I replied
with all the courage my failing heart could muster.
“Please can you come over to Hilly Zander guest house?”
She asked sending my already weakened heart beating anew.
“Sorry I’m not in town,” I lied nervously.
There was no way I could go back to that guest house for
any reason not to talk of now that a murder case was
“The best thing you can do for yourself and this guest
house,” the receptionist continued. “is to bundle yourself
back to this place and clarify things or risk turning
into a fugitive. Alhaji came in here healthy and hearty till
“The Alhaji was sleeping when I left,” I countered
myself. “I don’t know what you’re talking about and I’m
currently not in town.”
Angrily, the receptionist ended the call.
It was obvious that the guest house was in big trouble as
the deceased person was no small individual.
Imagine a senator of the federal republic of____found
dead in a guest house?
The case was indeed no small case and the guest house
was bound to answer for it.
No wonder they wanted me at all cost.
But then truth be told, I didn’t kill Alhaji and all of you
can bear me witness.
But all the same I wasn’t going anywhere.
As far as I’m concerned, I was out of town and out of sight.
The police arrested all members of the hotel
management including the manager.
They also sent Alhaji’s body to a well known hospital for autopsy.
News was sent to the media about a wanted prostitute named Cindy.
Luckily for me, my real name wasn’t Cindy so I only had
my picture to contend with.
Once or twice some friends called to confirm whether I
was the one been shown all over the news in connection to
the murder of one reputable senator.
I strongly denied being the one and waved aside the
picture as mere resemblance.
Even my roommate Stella was shocked about the whole
My only saving grace was that the name all over the
news was Cindy not Linda.
Funny enough when the autopsy result of the dead Alhaji
came out, it showed that the Alhaji had died of circulatory
arrest resulting from the complications of his intake of
one locally made aphrodisiac known as buruntashi.
This cleared both the hotel management and “I” of the
crime but the news nonetheless spread all over the country
that a senator had died in a guest house after a
marathon s €x session with a prostitute after taking a locally made
aphrodisiac they called buruntashi.
stay tune for Episode 11.
Do you think cindy will go free?
Care to drop a comment (especially if you had missed the story)
>> Episode 11 -
Akpos Joke: TV Licence [Read it]
Akpos: I do not have a TV, that means I do not have a licence.
Inspector: But I saw a TV antenna on your roof?
Akpos: Inspector please come in.
(Akpos opens the fridge and points to the jar of milk)
Akpos: Inspector, what is this?
Inspector: How can you ask me such a silly question, it’s a jar of milk.
Akpos: Does that mean I have cows in my yard?!
Girl goes on date .. …. [Read it]
Girl goes on date ….
worried mother gives her [email protected]
girl laughs , hugs mother & says :
yehi soch to badalni hai maa,
I’m dating with julie, so give me muli
CONFESSION ....... EPISODE 8 (End) [Read it]
The final episode
“He is the one”The girl said
again pointing at me.I was too
dumbfounded to speak.I
couldn’t believe this was
“He impregnated you”her
mother asked pulling her hair.
The poor girl nodded as she
cried out in pain.
I stole a glance at my father
and found him looking at
me.Other eyes were also on
“Who?”i heard myself ask
chika,the girl in question.
“You you.you did it.that day
you took me to the bush close
to the school”Chika explained
I was so ashamed of myself.I
knew she was telling the truth
but i must never admit it.
“what is going on here?”my
father asked asked harshly as if
he was just coming out.
“Didn’t you hear what my
daughter said? Your useless
son impregnated my
daughter”Her mother fumed.
My father couldn’t believe it.
thought it was a joke all this
“Johnpaul!”my dad called.I
turned to look at him with fear.
“Is it true?”he asked.
I shook my head negatively.
I had to do that.I didn’t know
what will become of me if i
“You are lying.go and look for
who impregnated you”my
mother cut in,referring to
The doctor handed the test
results over to my father.I
knew the test will find me
out.At first,i had refused to
come to the hospital but he
forced me.My father almost
beat the living daylight out of
Chika had to come with us.Her
mother said the child must
never be aborted.I was full of
shame.I couldn’t bear the
thought that i now am going
to have a child soon.I equally
knew some people would
address her as my wife.
After that incident,i started
thinking of a way to break free
from what i was addicted
to.The more i tried to stop,the
more i indulged in it.It had
sunk into my blood.I had come
to see why drug addicts can
not break free from drug.The
more you try to stop,the more
the urge increases.
I had stop schooling.I couldnt
face the shame at school
Few months after chika
delivered,another trouble came calling as
woman came with her
daughter.She claimed i had
impregnated her and i knew
she was telling the truth.
Keneth and kelvin were still
single but i have two girls or
should i say wives under my
My life turned upside.
molested almost every girl that
came my way.
I hated myself.I tried
everything to break free from
the problem i was into but all
trials to no avail
That was how it happened and
now i have no other option
than to end my life.I was tired
of the shame i always got into.I
must hang myself and it has to
be this nigh.
Nobody can stop
me.My two victims has gone to
sleep.The clock on the wall
made me realise its 11.20pm.
I took the rope and set out to
fulfil my mission.
I had tied the rope to the tree
branch somewhere around the
compound.As i made to put the
rope on my neck,i heard my
father running to me,shouting
in the darkness of the night.
Soon,i saw my mothers and
siblings coming.My father’s
shouting must have woken them up.
I started crying.I explained everything that has been happening to me to them,right from the day the television was brought into our house.I never knew my step mother would forgive me for stealing her money.
My father blamed my mothers for everything while they blamed him in return for not always being around.
My father told me that they all loved me and would be sad if they lost me.
He told me he would help me get over my problems.I prayed his strategies works.I want to be free someday.
Physically,mentally and emotionally.I want to look at the opposite sex and not feel guilty.I want to log into the internet without visiting porn sites.I want to be free.
I believe my father would help me.And i also believe God will also play a part to rescue me.
Thanks for reading this short story.
Hope you enjoyed it?
Haaaa gbese re ooo [Read it]
Akpors' story ••••
Last week sunday i woke up very late, so i
rushed to take my bath
and dressed up quickly so that i wouldn't be late
for church. As i
reached park, i saw that all the bus were all
filled up remaining only
one, i then struggled to enter that one. People
were many inside. I
was begging the guy sitting near me to shift
small for me to breath
well, he didn't agree. He was forming don
gorgon. I had begged and
got tired of begging, he was telling me we paid
the same money that
i should allow him to relax his nerves. I looked at
the woman near me
at the other side, she looked like someone that
was not well, so i
decided not to disturb her. As the bus started
moving my mind
thought of something, that i should threaten this
that didn't agree to shift for me. Let me see if he
has liver. I started
shouting at him, Shey i was telling you to shift
for me you didn't
agree abi, just sit down there and be looking like
zombie, but if this
Ebola that is worrying me catch you, is you that
know. God knows
that i told you to shift. My people na so our
driver match break o, if
you see how everybody started to jump out of
the bus eh, through the
window and door, driver sef picked race. The bus
became empty. I
then noticed that the woman that looks like
someone that is not
feeling fine that sat near me from the other side
did not run, she just
sat down. As i looked her, she said, Don't mind
them jor, why did they
run, shebi if we that have Ebola is talking to
them they will be doing
anyhow, by the way my brother which medicine
are you using for your
own cause the medicine that doctor gave me for
my own did not
Whaaaaaaaaaaat i fainted.
The Runs Girl..... Season 1 - Episode 29 [Read it]
not hesitate in paying me my balance and making me three hundred and fifty thousand naira richer.
The general even collected my phone number and promised to keep in touch with me because of the sweetness of my pu$$¥.
The amount of money these rich men are willing to pay for pu$$¥ baffles me atimes and I wonder what it is in pu$$¥ that entice them that much.
I was becoming a millionaire little by little and I felt so satisfied with myself.
My contacts and connection had grown and I was becoming more popular and comfortable.
My room was excellently furnished and I was contemplating buying my first car.
The major general was still sleeping when I woke up the next morning.
I quietly tiptoed into the bathroom to avoid interrupting his sleep and had my bath.
By the time I came out, he was awake but still lying in bed.
“Goodmorning sir,” I greeted.
“Goodmorning dear,” he replied. “You’re already awake?”
“Yes I am,” I replied. “I have two important lectures this morning.” I lied.
“Walahi you’re very sweet and I would love to have your number. The receptionist will transfer your balance to your account,” he informed.
“080,” I called out to him. “3399450. I’m very grateful sir. Thank you so much sir.”
By then I had fully dressed up so I bade him goodbye and left.
I had barely gotten to my lodge when my phone began to ring and the caller was my mum.
“Hello, mummy goodmorning,” I greeted on picking.
“What is this I’m hearing about you sleeping around in different hotels with different men?” My mum asked shocking me deep to my marrow.
It took me like 10seconds to regain myself and face the question facing me.
“Mummy I can’t understand what you’re talking about,” I replied buying time to think up a better reply.
“What can’t you understand!?!” My mum barked.
“I have never slept outside my room since I came here,” I lied squeezing my face. “Where did you get such information from?”
“It doesn’t matter where I got the information from,” my mum replied back. “Better use your tongue to count your teeth and know what you’re doing to yourself. I’ve told you my own. Whether you agree or deny is your business. The grasshopper burning up in flames foolishly believes that it is producing oil. A grasshopper which allows itself to be killed by the fowl – okpoko, is definitely deaf. Don’t say I didn’t tell you.”
She hung up.
I sat back on my bed ruminating over what my mum just said. “How on earth did she come across such information? I’ve never met any familiar face since I entered this business. Who then fed her all the information?”
I couldn’t tell.
But then my mum didn’t have any evidence or prove to support her claims and who knows, she could just be whining me to know whether I was involved in the business or not.
I had to tighten my game nonetheless to avoid further scandal on my track and also keep an open eye and ear to know who was leaking information to my mum behind my back.
My phone started ringing again for the second time in five minutes.
This time around the caller was no other person than Senator Clifford
>> Episode 30 -
Sign of Changing Tim …. [Read it]
Sign of Changing Times:
Santa to Pappu:
Son, Success is when Signature turns into Autograph.
No Dad, Success is when, Signature turns into Black Label!Related
*****CONTINUE PART *****
"You non dey talk" ah which kind wahala
i put myself, i was just standing there
figuring out what to say or do,the guy
was already growing inpatient of my
attitude and i can see it in his eyes,i
have two options either to lie that i missed
my way or just pretend to be deaf and dumb
"uyiekpen " that was the voice of lmade,she
came to meet us she has been inside all this
while,i felt so much relief thank my stars lmade
came to my rescue,she told the guy that i was
her friend from school ,the guy was mad at me
that I couldn't even speak when he was asking
questions, he just hissed and went back inside,
lmade apologies about the attitude of her cousin,
ne only cousin ne make me fall my hand like this,
ne only God know know waytin i go fall if her
parents con join or her brothers,i non dey put
her sisters join i fit handle those ones they
be girls ne.
She ushered me in and i sat down but
I wasn't myself, she observed me and
told me to relax myself that her parents
was not around,e be like say this girl
dey read my mind, i felt more relaxed as
I heard what she said,she went to get me
something to drink, that was when I got
time to cross check the sitting room,
it wasn't looking bad at all,it don't like
to compare but my sitting room dey well
pass her own,she later brought me a bottle
of drink (Malta) she opened it and handed
it over to me,i thanked her and she sat down
crossing her legs,the short skite and a round
neck top go well together on her,she really
look sweet on them,we talked about so many
things,i was told that she was the fourth
position out of six,there were three girls
and three boys,her mother was working at the
state house of assembly and her father is a
doctor, nice family tree i thought, we both
had a good time together i was now feeling
more better then before, we could laugh out
loud that i even thought her cousin will come
and shut us up but he never did maybe he is
busy with his own things,our conversation went
on and on that i didn't know when I spent two
hours there,i later look my leave and promised
to come back another day,i got home feeling
fulfil only God knows why,it wasn't as bad as
I thought well that was how I constantly began
to go to her house,i even got to meet some of
her siblings as I was told most of them were not
living with them,i also met her mother on one
occasion she was as nice as lmade and beautiful
as well,i was not surprise at all because I
can now see where lmade got her beauty from,
her house was now like my second home but I
know if I want to accomplish my goal i need
to step up my game,wait oh...is this really
a game to me now,i am accepted by her family
and we were now more closer then before,
i just hope my heart is not deciving me
because to me this is now more then just a game.
*****TO BE CONTINUED ******
LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS AND
READ NEXT PART
Everybody will ignor …. [Read it]
Everybody will ignore you when you
are alone ,,but the moment you get
into a relationship everyone will say
“Ladki kya mili saale bhai ko bhool
Hehehe! [Read it]
Man: Marry me?
Woman: Do you have a flat?
Woman: Do you have a Toyota car?
Woman: How much is your salary?
Man: No salary, but,..
Woman: No but. You have nothing. How can i marry you? Leave please!
Man: (talks to himself) I have one villa, 3 property lands, 3 Ferrari's, 2 Porsches. Why do i still need to buy toyota. How can i get
the salary when actually I'm the BOSS...
Woman:? thatz why i told you to leave,,cuz am coming to your house to propose to you.....
reward of fucking [Read it]
a murtuary attendant, was fond of sleeping with dead ladies. one day, a gourgeusly dead lady was brought in his care, as ussual, he quickly swing into action. He seperated the lady's legs and quickly undressed himself, he plug his dick into the lady, and was digging it hard. Surdenly, the dead woke up and grab him with her hands and says dont stop, its over a year, dat I had such experience since she was confirmed of a i d s.
Drunk and driving N …. [Read it]
Drunk and driving
Nitin & Manoj Daaru pee k ghar ja rahe the.
Tabhi Manoj chillya – Nitin, Deewar …Abe samne dekh deewar hai ….deewar… dhadaaaaam!
They hit the wall.
The next day in the hospital Manoj asked Nitin – You r good for nothing, I’ve been screaming for you to watch out, why didn’t you?
Nitin answered him: – Gaadi tu chala raha tha sale bevde..!!!
???? ???? :)) ????Related
Pass or Fail [Read it]
Girl ; " Dad, what's better ?
To pass or to fail ?
Dad ; " To pass obviously "
Girl ; " OH GOOD, YOU'LL BE
PROUD OF ME ! I
PASSED MY PREGNANCY
Mother: Kaun tha pho …. [Read it]
Mother: Kaun tha phone par?
Son: Friend tha.
Mother: Vaastav mein bata kaun tha?
Son: Sanjay dutt.Related