Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Five people are on a plane, four guys
and one girl. Suddenly the engine stalls
and they crash. Miraculously, all five of
them survive the crash but are stranded
on a small deserted island. Since these
four guys will need to have their natural urges satisfied, they decided to make up
a schedule. Each guy would get a week to have sex
with the woman as much as possible,
the next week another guy and so on.
This arrangement works out great for
years, satisfying both the guys and the
nymphomaniac woman until she suddenly dies. The first month went by and it was
really awful, second month was really
bad, third month was almost
unbearable, fourth month rolls around
and the guys couldn't handle it
anymore so they buried her.
#BOLLY_SMART™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-08 20:50:07

636 Views




Akpos has been admiring his neighbour’s wife.
The neighbour’s wife always gives him this seductive smile whenever they greet each other.
Akpos didn’t know how to approach the lady to tell her of his desires because she’s married.
So, one day the lady herself approached Akpos alone in his apartment and the folllowing conversation took place
AKPOS: Hi.
LADY: Hi.
AKPOS: Is everything alright?…
LADY: Yes. Just need little help from you(Smiling seductively).
AKPOS: Wow! Anything for the angel.
LADY: I…I…I… just don’t know how to say this. I’ll be so ashamed of myself if I ask and you say no.
AKPOS: Oh my lady. you don’t have to. I am ready to do anything for you. LADY: You know, it’s been over 3 weeks since my husband travelled…
AKPOS: Yes! Yes! Yes!
LADY: And even when he’s around, he has some…(pause for a while) he has some disabilities…
AKPOS: Oh poor you… You must have been going through hell!
LADY: I know you’ll be stronger than him…
AKPOS: Sure.
LADY: Can you help me?
AKPORS: Wow! Now? Sure, I’m ready if you are ready.
LADY: Oh thanks goodness! that’s why I came to you. Can you help me carry our deep freezer from our kitchen to the next street for repairs? *Immediately Akpos fainted*


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-03 19:26:02

7343 Views



Akpos school [Read it]


Akpos got admitted into my village school,AtanateneGrammar School. The best school in myvillage.It was his first day in the school and aninspector of Education came visiting. The CRS teacher was in class telling us thestory of DANIELIN THE LION'S DEN when he sighted theprincipal and the inspector headingtowardsthe class. The old and forgetful CRS teacher wroteGENESIS as the topic on the board withoutthinking.Class: Good mooooooorning sir,we are happy to see you sir.Inspector: Good morning class, i can see your teacher is tellingyou what happened in the book ofgenesis?.Class: Yeeeeeeeees sir!.Inspector (pointing to Akpos): Ok,you there, who killed Abel?. Akpos: Sir i don't know, i have been in theclass since 8am, ask my friend Ofego, ididn'tkill Abel sir.Inspector (angry): I said who killed Abel?Akpos: I am a christian, i don't kill. I don'teven know this Abel you are talking about,is he in our class?.Inspector (Turning to the Teacher): OkTeacher can youtell the class who killed Abel?Teacher (Knees down and open his hands wide): My son, How can you expect me tokill, what example will i be showing to mystudents if i kill a person?.Inspector (disappointed and turns to theprincipal): Ok class the principal will helptotell us who killed Abel. Mr principal, who killed Abel?.Principal: When you came to my office,didn't you see me there?.Inspector: Yes, i did!.Principal: Did you see blood stains in myhands?. Inspector: No!.Principal: How could i have killed Abel?Where is the proof that idid?.The whole class clapped for the principal.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-04 19:41:28

684 Views





I WANT TO BE A TV
A Primary School teacher asked her pupils to
write
an
essay on ”A wish you want from God?" At the
end of
the day, the teacher collected all the essays
given
by
her pupils. She took them to her house, sat down
and
started marking.
Whilst marking the essays, she sees a strange
essay
written by one of her pupils. That essay made
her
very
emotional. Her husband came and sat beside her
and
saw her crying. The husband asked her, "What
happened?" "What's making you cry"
She answered "Read this. It is one of my pupil's
essay."
"Oh God, Make me a Television. I want to live
like
the
TV in my house.
In my house, the TV is very valuable. All of my
family
members sit around it. They are very interested
in
it.
When the TV is talking, my parents listen to it
very
happily.
They don’t shout at the TV. They don’t quarrel
with
the
TV. They don’t slap the TV. So I want to become
a
TV.
The TV is the centre of attraction in my house. I
want
to receive the same special care that the TV
receives
from my parents. Even when it is not working,
the
TV
has a lot of value.
When my dad and mom come home, they
immediately
sit in front of the TV, switch it on and spend
hours
watching it. The TV is stealing the time of my
dad
and
my mom. If I become a TV, then they will spend
their
time with me.
While watching the TV, my parents laugh a lot
and
they
smile many times. But I want my parents to
laugh
and
smile with me also. So please God make me a
TV.
And last but not the least, if I become a TV,
surely I
can make my parents happy and entertain them.
Lord I
won't ask you for anything more. I just want to
live
like
a TV. Please turn me into a TV.
The husband completed reading the essay. He
said
"My God, poor kid. He feels lonely. He did not
receive
enough love and care from his parents. His
parents
are
horrible."
The eyes of the primary School teacher filled
with
tears. She looked at her husband and said, "Our
son
wrote this essay."
What do you think of this piece?
May our children never desire to be wassap
#B-goF


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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shout out! [Read it]


Shout out to all d Nairajokes. Member, I want to use dis medium to say hapi sunday to u all!! Cheers!.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-02 09:17:55

95 Views




Ek Baar Santa Ka Dost Musibat Mein Tha Wo Santa Se Ye Baat Share Karte Hue Kahta Hai.

Dost Bola: “Yaar Musibat Ke Waqt Gadhe Ko Bhi Baap Banana Padta Hai”

Santa: “Wah Yaar Badi Himmat Hai Jo Teri Mummy Maan Bhi Jati Hai“ ????Related

GUY: Hi girl
GIRL: Yes, how can I help you?
GUY: I want you to be my girlfriend.
GIRL: Do you work in a bank?
GUY: No.
GIRL: Do you earn salary?
GUY: No.
GIRL: Do you have an apartment?
GUY: No.
GIRL: Do you have a range rover?
GUY: No.
GIRL: Then, there no way on earth I'll be your girlfriend.
GUY: But, what do I need an apartment for when I have a
duplex in lekki? What do I need a range rover for when I
have a porche, two ferraris, and a bugatti? Why do I need a
salary when I'm the owner of two multi million dollar
companies?
GIRL: Ok, I'm ready to be your girlfriend
GUY: No, not a chance!



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-06 01:46:34

521 Views




Ahmed stayed up in his yoga posture for
about 50 minutes. He sat deep in thought and
seriously meditating. He thought about the
trend of events that had happened to him
lately. He had been hospitalized, there was the
death of his protégé Agent Mercy, there was
the attack and theft at the office, and now his
dogs had been killed. The first conclusion that
came to him was that the incidences were
related, most probably carried out by the same
group of people. He marveled at the organized
way in which the actions were perpetrated.
What did his dogs do to deserve their fate? He
decided it was time for action. No more lying
down and taking hits. He needed to be a step
closer. He opened his eyes. His usually white
clear eyes were now red and blood shot. He
was angry. Very angry. He got up and went
into his room. He searched his drawer and got
out a torch and a plier. He took them with
him to the front of his compound where his
electricity meter was connected. He pulled
down the lever on the meter to shut out the
current. All electricity in his compound went
off. With his torch, he carefully traced the
cables that supplied current from the meter
into the main house. He found them and cut
them with the plier. He turned the lever on the
meter back on. The security lights around his
compound came on. His house was dark. He
had a feeling that whoever had been causing
him all this trouble somehow had access to
his home.
With his torch switched on, he found his way
to his bed, sitting at the edge. He looked
round his room, pointing his torch at every
corner, and studying every nook and cranny
for anything suspicious. When he was
satisfied, he picked his phone and dialed the
number of the only person he trusted; his
uncle, Retired Colonel Giwa Haruna.
Colonel Giwa Haruna was the younger brother
to Ahmed’s father. He took care of Ahmed
when he lost his father at age 4. He took care
of Ahmed up until military school. They had
only seen each other twice in the past three
years. The Colonel was the complete detective
during his active days. Complete in every
sense of the word. He was physically well
built. He was 6ft.5inches tall, had broad
shoulders, bulging muscles, and a handsome
face. He was vast in English, Igbo and Yoruba.
He also spoke French and German at an above
average level. He was the smartest man on
the force. His ability to decipher codes,
retrieve destroyed evidence, and sift clues from
debris made him the most respected agent in
the field. He had a reputation for hard work
and never left any stone unturned in his bid to
solve a case. He was famous for his famous
bust of the Marine Mafia and Drug Cartel
which had been terrorizing and killing police
officers for over 8 years. He went undercover
and infiltrated the Cartel. He was put to
various tests. He faked the deaths of police
officers and transportation of guns and hard
drugs to rise to the level of Trusted Knight.
There were only two people who had this
position and they protected the King of the
cartel. For years no one heard about the
Colonel until one day he brought the Cartel to
the cleaners. He single handedly destroyed the
organization.
He retired seven months after the operation at
the age of 45. No one knew what he looked
like after undergoing facial reconstruction. He
had many dark organizations on his tail. He
retired into a deep village in Ibadan and had
been living peacefully since.
He had made many enemies. He had to cool
off. Two years had passed without incidence.
Only six people had his number. The person
calling him had to be family. The Colonel
picked Ahmed’s call at the second ring.
“Hello.” A hoarse voice spoke from the
background
“Uncle, it’s me.” Ahmed replied.
“Son! It’s been a while. How are you?” The
colonel asked
“Hello Uncle. There is something going on I do
not understand.” Ahmed replied.
“What is the matter son? You sound very
worried.” The colonel replied.
Ahmed could visualize the frown on the
colonel’s face as he spoke the words.
“Uncle, you know that I only call you when
situations are out of hand. I am sure you can
vouch for me that there is hardly a situation I
cannot handle. However, this is beyond me.
Believe me when I say you would be very
interested.” Ahmed replied.
There was a pause at the other end of the line.
“Hmmm. You have my attention. What do you
need?” The Colonel said.
“I need your help Uncle. I know you are retired
but this is beyond me. And I think it started
when you were in office.” Ahmed said
“What started? How do you need my help?
Come out with it son.” The colonel said
hurriedly and impatiently.
“Uncle, we need to talk about this. Face to
face. I can be at the villa in 3hours.” Ahmed
said.
“No. Don’t come. I will. I haven’t been out of
this place in three weeks. I need the journey. I
will be with you in two hours son.” The Colonel
replied.
“Thank you Uncle. Please be careful.” Ahmed
said.
“I may be retired son, but I am still an agent.
Old soldier never die!”
They both laughed at his joke. After
exchanging pleasantries and asking about
loved ones, the colonel was about to hang up
when Ahmed said
“One more thing Uncle. Mercy is dead.”
He could feel the tension. He imagined his
Uncle’s stony face all soft at hearing the
news. Ahmed had never seen him shed a tear.
He always held it back. After a few seconds,
the Colonel replied:
“I will see you in 2 hours son.”
He hung up.
Directly to the right of Ahmed’s compound,
there was a brown painted bungalow which
had just recently been completed. Bruno and
Marshal sat opposite each other in the living
room by the door, with a wooden table in
between them. There were earphones in
Bruno’s ears. He was listening in on the
phone call Ahmed was making. There were
various boxes scattered on the floor, some
were open while the rest were locked. The only
other piece of furniture was a huge mattress
which was placed on the ground in the middle
of the room. Marshal was cleaning his gun
and settling it into a briefcase. He left Bruno
on the chair and carried a small gallon
containing the remaining goat blood he had
used to write the inscriptions on the huge
white papers. He poured the contents in the
toilet, flushed and covered the gallon. He
dropped it on the floor and resumed his
position opposite Bruno, awaiting his orders.
A few days earlier, Detective Ahmed was in his
office trying to decipher the status of Agent
Mercy, when Bruno and Marshal entered his
compound. They had gotten a copy of his keys
and entered the house with ease. Bruno
marked the spots while Marshal planted the
bugs. Tiny powerful micro cameras, which
were the size of a Coke bottle cork. They were
designed lemon green, the same color with
which the rooms were painted. There were two
in his bedroom, four in his sitting room, and
one each in his bathroom, toilet, kitchen and
store. After assessing the work and confirming
the stealth settings, they exited his house. It
did not take 20 minutes. The Ghosts
Corporation had previously bought and
renovated the bungalow beside the detective’s
compound. They were only waiting for the
right time to move in.
Bruno brought out the keys and entered the
bungalow, with Marshal following just behind.
There was just a bed and a table with two
chairs. That was all they would need. They set
up the devices and Bruno left Marshal in the
bungalow. Marshal was to watch Ahmed for
two days before they made their move. He
could take care of himself.
At 6pm on the night of the scare, Bruno took
a taxi into the detective’s estate while Ahmed
was at work. He brought the guns and the
blood that would be used for the job. Marshal
woke up when the door opened and went
immediately back to sleep when he saw it was
Bruno.
10pm.
Bruno woke Marshal. Marshal carried his
heavy frame out of the bed and sat on the free
chair opposite Bruno. Bruno had already set
up the small palm top screen which had four
different views. The bedroom, sitting room,
bathroom and toilet. They went over how the
operation was to be done for the third time,
covering all possibilities and loop holes.
Bruno gave Marshal the artillery, while he took
the huge white paper and spread it on the
floor. He scribbled a message on three of the
papers.
At 12:17am they played cards over a light
bottle of Vodka. Bruno was letting Marshal
win the games and the bets were getting
heavy. That was his strategy. Marshal always
performed excellently when he was in a
fantastic mood. Bruno increased the bet to
5000 naira per game. Bruno lost the next four
games. Deliberately. Marshal did not suspect
a thing. All the while they were watching
Ahmed sleep in the palm top monitor on the
table.
At 3am, Marshal made his move. He sneaked
to the front of Ahmed’s gate and watched for
any movement within the premises. There was
nothing. He threw his knapsack over the gate
into the compound and jumped over the short
gate. Gun in hand he moved slowly and
stealthily towards the front door. He got to
the door, kept his gun inside his belt and
entered with his spare key, shutting the door
behind him noiselessly. He checked the
countdown timer on his left wrist. He had four
minutes and fifteen seconds more. He was
already behind schedule. He opened his bag in
the sitting room and pulled out one of the
huge papers. There was a small white earpiece
hanging in his ear. Bruno was watching him
from the bungalow and directing him. He was
done in 90 seconds, hanging the two papers
in the sitting room. The tricky part was the
bedroom where Ahmed was lying down,
asleep. Bruno had watched him for close to an
hour. He decided that they could enter.
Marshal tip toed into the bedroom and opened
the door slightly, just enough for him to
squeeze through. As he was about to go in,
Bruno spoke into his ears
“Hold on. Don’t go in yet. He is stirring.”
Ahmed turned in his bed and changed his
position. He was now sleeping with his back
to the door. After 26 seconds, Bruno said,
“Go in now. And please, hurry!”
Marshal entered the room and pasted the
white paper with the inscription on the door.
He was done in less than 20 seconds. He
didn’t bother to lock the bedroom door behind
him. He checked his wrist. 1min 59ecs left. He
picked his knapsack and zipped it as he
walked out of the sitting room. He closed the
door shut and was locking the door when he
heard the wicked snarls of two huge
Rottweilers. He was taken aback. He left the
door and backed up on it as the bigger of the
two dogs came towards it. They were angry
and snarling, saliva dripping from their
mouths.
“I have a situation here Bruno. Two dogs.
What do I do?” Marshal said through clenched
teeth. His hand was going to his gun.
“I can see. Take them out. Use your silencer…”
Bruno was saying but did not finish.
Marshal was trying to locate his silencer from
the knapsack when the huge dog came at him.
He turned just in time and shot the dog
squarely in the face. There was a loud bang. It
fell to the ground. The other dog began to
bark as loud as it could. Marshal had gotten
his silencer now. He shot the second dog.
There was no sound.
“Shiiiittt! He is awake. Get out of there,
now!!!!” Bruno said.
Marshal ran to the gate and escaped just in
time. He took a back entrance to the
bungalow and sat on the bed panting. His
hands were bleeding. He went to the
bathroom, washed off the blood and came to
sit with Bruno. Bruno looked at him and
nodded. Marshal nodded back. They both sat
down to watch as Ahmed paced, sat beside
his dogs and after a long time went to his
room. They saw him get some items from his
drawer and go to his electric meter. A few
seconds later, they could not see anything
anymore.
The screen went blank.
Bruno was pissed.
“Shiitt!!!” He cursed.
He buried his heads in his hands. Suddenly an
idea occurred to him.
He brought out a small device, turned it on
and adjusted a knob by the side. After a while
he got the correct frequency and smiled.
Voices came on from the device. One of the
voices was Ahmed’s. He was making a call.
He quickly called Tawo.
“Hello” Tawo answered with a very alert voice.
Music was playing softly in the background.
“Trace Ahmed’s call. It’s a code 11” Bruno
said.
Bruno, Marshal and Tawo listened to Ahmed’s
conversation with the Colonel till the very end.
When Ahmed dropped the call. Bruno asked,
“Did you get the location?” Bruno asked.
“Positive. Well done, Bruno. I’ll take it from
here.” Tawo said.
Tawo called Shina.
“The Colonel has finally come out of hiding.
Dispatch some of your guys at Berger and I’ll
be at the other entry point to Lagos. Ready
some of your best buggers. The Colonel is
coming to town.”
To be continued…

>>

BRILLIANT AKPOS [Read it]


Clash of talents joke: I carry 3rd
15 Comments
Akpos no dey carry Last
Akpos :- Papa, See my result, Na me
carry 3rd.
Papa Akpos :- Hahahaha, Akpos
Akpos! Na now I know say na me
born you.
Akpos :- Shey I tell you na. All those
time I dey carry 35th..Na the
teachers dey do ojoro, They know
say I too brilliant.
Papa Akpos :- I believe you my boy.
Na now I fit buy that Bicycle wey you
see for Papa Metus shop !
Akpos :- Papa na u biko. You get
mouth pass BasketMouth.
Papa Akpos :- but, Who be the two
idiots wey pass u sef Akpos?
Akpos :- Na one WIZARD wey be
Isaac and one WITCH wey be
Patience.
Papa Akpos :- No mind them, You go
show them next term. But who you
come pass na? I no say dem plenty
and you no fit mention all of them, I
just wan know how many of una dey
class.
Akpos :- Na just the three of us I don
mention so na… Isaac, Patience and
Me. Na just the three of us
PRINCIPAL put for Elementary Class
‘F’ !!!
Na im Akpos papa just land for floor,
gboossa, faint o!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-04 17:54:52

258 Views




Desmond: what?you all are just telling me the wrong thing,do you know what both of us look like?like father and daughter. can't you see that she is my baby
Ann: you are so funny
Tina: lets go
Stephanie: yes
Desmond: come on all;i will just take you girls home
Tunde: yes boss(curtain)(at Desmond's apartment)

Alfred: i never imagine that someday you and Stephanie will become friends again and let your differences passed bye;you face your problem squarely and move on with your life
Desmond: since;i was able to get forgiveness from her and we came friends again;it give me joy that she was able to give me a second chance
Alfred: young man;i hope you don't get her hurt
Desmond: i pray;i wouldn't get her into trouble;i just pray so(the next day)
Alfred: today was such a nice day;wake up that man(to Ayo)he has being sleeping since morning;don't minding he had a visitor
Georgina: do i blame him
Ayo: guy wake up(he hit Desmond)don't you know you have visitor
Desmond: young man;you are disturbing me and who is my visitor?
Georgina: so;am now too small
Desmond: was it you;he is calling my visitor?(he laughed)
Georgina: so i am no longer your visitor
Desmond: (to Georgina)i never knew you wanted to make yourself a guest in your home(to Ayo)life can be so funny;if i had told her that this house is mine and that she is just a guest;wouldn't she had been mad at me?
Ayo: why do you feel so?
Desmond: lets try it
Georgina: don't change the topic
Desmond: am not changing anything;it is the fact
Alfred: (to Desmond)hey buddy;don't pushed it
Georgina: leave him;let him finish;when i get angry they will say the mad girl has started again
Desmond: come on my pretty(he dragged her closer)you know that is not what i meant;why would i castigate the mother of my kids
Georgina: are you sure
Desmond: am sure;have i ever lie to you before now?
Georgina: no;back then but now i can't vouch
Desmond: really
Georgina: yes;anyway its been long we go on a date back then we always do have time to spend with each other
Desmond: but i don't have chance
Georgina: we can create one for ourselves. that way we can be able to learn new thing about one another
Desmond: do you think it will work(enter Tosin/Tosan)
Georgina: i know it will work
Tosan: (to herself)i never knew she is here
Tosin: were you saying something
Tosan: no
Tosin: was up brother
Desmond: nothing serious;is just that she(referring to Georgina)said both of us;should go on a date
Tosin: is a good ideal;don't you think so
Ayo: she is right(to Desmond)why don't you spend quality time together
Tosan: i think that way you both can get to know your like and dislike
Desmond: we have been together seen childhood;so what will we be learning that is new about both of us?
Georgina: come on baby(to Desmond)she is right;i think we really need it(enter Tunde/Tina/Ann)
Ann: good day all
Alfred: how are you?
Ann: am fine
Georgina: Tunde;please come;we have been arguing something
Tunde: was that
Georgina: i told Desmond;that both of us should go on a date but he refused
Tunde: its a nice ideal;why don't you give it a try?
Desmond: you know i don't have time,that was the same thing i just told her
Tina: maybe you guys can go on a weekend
Desmond: i won't agreed for a date that will last for just an hour or less,you are talking a weekend. you must be joking(enter Anita)
Anita: baby(to Ayo)do you know what something just cross my mind on my way here
Ayo: was it why you couldn't greet
Anita: am so sorry all,good day;is just that baby i want us to go on a picnic;you and i,in fact......
Desmond: not again

Anita: what going on here?never mind;please baby(to Ayo)say yes
Ayo: baby;is not that easy
Georgina: that makes the two of us(to Anita)then...
Anita: so you have suggested it before now
Georgina: it was the same thing we were talking about
Ann: i think you guys should give it a try
Alfred: not even you Ann
Ann: there is nothing wrong in treating oneself,don't you think so;Tosan?
Tosan: you are right since i and Tosin are dating;we haven't really go out that much
Tosin: so this is a conspiracy
Georgina: is not that;is just our mind that is connecting one another
Anita: okay;lets do it this way;everyone of us is involved;we will all go on a picnic in the same place and same time. it will be like a group date
Georgina: you are right;i like it;we will get to know one another better
Anita: accepted
All girls: yes
Anita: what about you boys
Tosin: you too won( to Georgina/Anita)because you succeeded in drag us in and Desmond what do you think?
Desmond: fine by me;what about Tunde and Ayo
Three of them: is alright
Desmond: but it is not this weekend it should be two weeks from now
Georgina: thank you;you are darling(curtain)(at Jackson's apartment)

Rose: do you know what darling?i think we should go on vacation;even if it is just for a week
Jackson: i know going on a vocation is a good thing but then i want us to spend it with our children;so we can be one happy family;were we come to know about the different challenges of our kids
Rose: that is okay by me
Jackson: and less i forget;do you know that Georgina's family are coming back from the state
Rose: and Betti did not bothered to tell me;when we were on the phone
Jackson: you know i and Billy has been friends since childhood
Rose: i know but she would had tell me instead of keeping it away from one
Jackson: young woman;slow down
Rose: am really going to get mad at her
Jackson: i know you can't get mad at her;when she is your in-law
Rose: that is true;i don't know why i like that girl form all my friends,i could even give my son to his daughter,it was just easy
Jackson: at first;i never knew you could be this serious
Rose: you know when i love someone;i do with my entire life and when i do hate,i just can't love
Jackson: so does it mean you will never go back on your words?when you said, Desmond is betroth to Georgina
Rose: why will i?i always keep my promise
Jackson: come on;lets have dinner(curtain)(enter Stephanie/Desmond)

Stephanie: good afternoon;how are you?
Desmond: am fine and you was up with you
Stephanie: fine;nothing much with me;i just finish by lecture
Desmond: me too;i will you like to hang out?don't say no
Stephanie: do i really have a choice?even if i don't want to,i always ended up accepting it
Desmond: do you mean i am forcing you to do things that you don't want to do?
Stephanie: no;not that
Desmond: then what is it
Stephanie: the true is that;since i met you,i was able to discover myself. from the first day you took me out and show me that girl whom i said,'she is more beautiful than i am and you said i lack self confident;it was true because back then i accepted everything people say about me,so i realised that i really need a friend like you
Desmond: really?that means you owe me
Stephanie: i hope you nothing and don't let your head get swell because you are not a good influence
Desmond: really?
Stephanie: yes
Desmond: do you know what?(he drag her close) even if you don't accept that you have a crush on me,fine by me because i know that someday you will accept it
Stephanie: really?you see why i get mad at you because you are always teasing me(she frown)
Desmond: do you know when you frown,you look like an old woman(he drag her chin) come on smile
Stephanie: will you stop teasing me. i hate it (she frown)
Desmond: here you go again,do you have to take every thing serious?you know i don't take anything i told you to hear
Stephanie: oh that is the fact,i have always be one play thing for you(she walked away)
Desmond: hey young lady(he ran and stand in front of her)slow down,you are misunderstanding me,what i meant is that whenever i say those words to you;i never meant it,i just want you to smile
Stephanie: really?
Desmond: you know you are my friend and i will never do anything to hurt you
Stephanie: are you sure?
Desmond: yes;i am(he take her hand and put his hand on her)even if i was a monster;i wouldn't hurt my daughter
Stephanie: here you go again(she dragged her hand from his)i hate it when you tease me
Desmond: alright;has for that;i will stop,if you don't like it

Stephanie: i don't like it
Desmond: okay;i promise i will stop and i cross my heart to it
Stephanie: thank you;very much(she jump on him and hug him)am sorry;i don't mean to(she withdraw from him)
Desmond: is alright;you are my baby;come here,lets go i want to hang out and here we are spend the entire day standing here
Stephanie: am sorry;i am always wasting your time
Desmond: come here;shall we (she drag her by the hand)come on(enter Anita/Tina)
Anita: home sweet home
Tina: what a difficult day?where are all the people in this house,Ann?so both of you are in there and you heard our voice and didn't bothered coming down
Tosan: is just that we have some unfinished business to attend to
Tina: so you too had a business and we don't know. can you imagine(she turn to Anita)what you have to say to this confession?
Anita: i am hungry
Tina: you and food nowadays;is getting me worried
Anita: what is wrong with eating food?



SEE MORE.....


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Nigerian most paid actress















NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-07 22:55:36

176 Views




English Movies Dubbed in Hindi:

Hurt Locker – Ghayal Tijori

Batman- Ballebaj

She’s the man- Bobby darling

Blood diamond- Khooni Heera

Saw- Dekha

Saw2- Doabara Dekha

Saw3- Phirse Dekha

Saw4- Baar Baar Dekha

Superman,Spiderman,X-men,Hulk etc-

Rajnikanth :pRelated

The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an “E”. Akpos says, “Elephant.”

Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a “T”. The same Akpos says, “Two elephants.”

The teacher sends Akpos out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning with “M”.

Akpos shouts from the other side of the wall: “Maybe an elephant!”

Lols, One word for Akpos....


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-10 02:57:34

321 Views



DID YOU KNOW?? [Read it]


Did u know-say the first word wey naija pikin they learn na UP NEPA..!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-12 00:43:47

626 Views



Times-Episode 7 [Read it]


"Please Fiyin,am pleadinq.You cant leave me please",Dimeji beqqed while on his knees.He held Fiyin's leqs firmly after she had tried to walk out on him.They were outside Fiyin's home."Bae now,am sorry.Everythinq you saw yesterday was a reflection of my past.I swear,am a changed guy,olohun"."Just shut up and dont involve God in this.Where did you put God when you were about to break my heart ehn?"."No,you dont understand.You see.."."And i dont want to understand!Ahah,must you date me?Please Uncle Dimeji,just let me bear this cross of mine.To imagine that me,Fiyinfoluwa Haastrup,agreed to date a mere playboy.Chai!".Dimeji released his hold on her leqs,stood up and attempted to touch her."If you touch,i repeat,if you dare to touch me,I will show you who I really am.Just let my brothers meet you here.Mtchew",Fiyin hissed as she walked back into the house.Dimeji stood dumbfounded."What can I do bayii?",he thought.Suddenly,he exclaimed,"Kiitan!" .And with that,he got on his power bike and rode to Kiitan's house which was within the estate.Fortunately,on qetting there,he saw her outside talkinq to a quy he recognized as her boyfriend."Hey,kiitan",he said as he got off his bike.Kiitan looked to see who was calling her and saw Dimeji."Ah,Dimex,hello.Dad is not around oh"."Yea,I know I want to see you"."Me?Oh,spare me a minute then",she said as she turned to face Bode."Baby,I'd call you later ehn",Bode said as she hugged him good bye."Come in,Dimeji."
She led him into their spacious sittinq room and told him to sit."I hope am safe oh"."Yes.I just need you to help me beg Fiyin.I know she's angry with me but shes not willinq to forgive me.You are her friend,Kiitan please"."Ah,baron.Fine boy like you,bothering yourself over Fiyin.See,she never liked you oh",she stood up,walked over to Dimeji and sat next to him,with her arm on his shoulder,"I really like you,infact love sef".Dimeji yanked her arm off him and looked at her sternly,"What is the meaning of all this?Fiyin must hear about this.".He was about to stand up when Kiitan held him back and wanted to kiss him forcefully.Just then,Fiyin entered...




**Sorry,it took me so longgggg to post.School has been tyinq me down oh.



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Silence is golden when you can’t think of a good answer.Related

Akpors went to the United States of America and
had a one on one meeting with Obama, the
following conversation ensued:
OBAMA : “I want to show you how much
advanced we are, Come with me”. He took him to
a forest. “Dig the ground”.
Akpors did it.
OBAMA : “Keep digging… Keep digging”.
Akpors dug deeper, up to 100 Feet.
OBAMA : “So now, try searching for something”.
Akpors : “I got a Wire”.
OBAMA : “You know, it shows that even about
100 years ago we had telephones”.
Akpors became frustrated. He invited Obama to
Nigeria. That year, Obama visited Nigeria.
Akpors : “I want to show you our advancement.
He took Obama to a forest”.
Akpors : “Dig it….” Obama did.
Akpors : “Dig faster and deeper”.
Obama dug up to almost 400 feet.
Akpors: “Try to find something”. Obama tried.
Akpors: “Did you get anything?”
Obama: “No,there is nothing here”.
Akpors: “You know, it shows that even 400 years
ago, we had WIRELESS mobile”.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-04 10:46:00

324 Views




My Dear love,
Yesterday i was passing by your rectangular
house in trigonometric lane. There, I saw you
with your cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular
garden. Before seeing you, my heart was a
null set, but when a vector of magnitude
(likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of
the radius made a tangent to
my heart, it differentiated. My love for you is quadratic equation with
real roots, which only you can solve by
making good binary relation with me. The
cosine of my love for you extends to infinity.
I promise that I will not resolve you into
partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from
zero to infinity. You are as essential to me as
an element to a set. The geometry of my life
revolves around your acute personality.
Yours ever loving,
Emmy Pythagoras. .
# And akpos was like:
.
Hey Emmy !!! how did u get this? That's the
letter i wrote to Rihanna when we were in
high skul. . . Akpos ur fada!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-18 09:06:08

523 Views




i was making jollof sphag and boiled eggs for Timi and i for dinner. He wanted to spend another night in my house, i was liking the idea. while he was watching Californication, i was in the kitchen, i decided to call Jafar to check up on him.
Jafar : Hey…
me : hi…
Jafar : you just remembered me….
The baga did not know i had been thinking of him since hearing of Eli..
Me : lol, how is Uche and the rest of your guys?
Jafar : we are good, how are you?
Me : im good…
There was a weird silence before he spoke…
Jafar : is there something you want to tell me?
Me : Jafar, Abayomi told me about Eli…i am scared..
Jafar : oh…dnt worry, we will take care of things…you shouldnt stay alone though…how about staying with Toun?
Me : Im not alone
Jafar : You are with another friend?
me : yes, i am with Timi
Jafar : oh…He will be spending the night?
me : yes….
If the earlier silence was weird, this was worse….i didnt know why i felt guilty, Jafar could have like 3 girls in his bed now…
Jafar : nice then, cool to have someone take care of you…
me : How is fatima and her friends?
Jafar : they are good. Time for me to sleep…my regards to Timi…
me : Goodnight…
After the call i climbed into bed with Timi..he wrapped me in his arms as we both watched Tv. my fingers went through the bristles of his hair when i remembered that i hadnt gone to see Kofo.. I immediately picked up my phone to call her but she didnt pick..After a couple more tries, i stopped and went to bring the food from the kitchen…As we ate, i spoke to Timi..
Me : so has Annie been trying to reach you. You guys spoke on the phone?
Timi : nope. why ask?
Me : i dont want to be left in the dark
Timi : no dear…i wont keep anything from you…
Me : honesyly Timi, are we going to win this election?
Timi : Yes…though its a tight race, im sure we will pull through…
Me : I really do hope so, we have come a long way…
Timi cleared the dishes after we finished eating, i was too lazy to wash the plates. promised myself to wash them before classes tomorrow….
I went to the bathroom,to take my bath. hoping that Timi would have slept before i finished. i was trying as much as possible not to have s-x with him so soon. Lord knows i wanted it badly..
The cold water from the shower hit my skin with the sweetness of bursting freedom, with my shower cap on, i stood beneath the shower for a while, then i started washing my body, starying with my neck, then breastz downwards…my face always came last….with soapy hands, i closed my eyes to wasjy face…i heard a sound, opening my eyes…i saw Timi standing close to me….naked too.
he came closer, beneath the shower were i stood….
me : what are you doing here?
Timi. : guys have to take a shower too…
i wanted to talk again when he lifed me and drove my back to the wall…his mouth found mine,withy eyes closed, my tongue tasted his, the water from the shower setting a tone in the backgroud…His cupped my bum my laps spread wide around his slim waste….
I took his n----e in my mouth and s----d at it a little….then i went to the other one, that drove him crazy with moans emanating from his lips…his fore finger found its way into me..i could feel it filling up places that had been,empty in a while
..His thumb rubbed against my clits…even with the cold water on my body, the warmt of my wetness spreading to my laps was noticeable…
He placed me down infront of him. i knelt down and tool his throbbing D--k in my hand….after caressing it alongside his balls, i took it in my mouth….first the cap then slowly down the s---t..He was breathing loudly now…hand tweaked my n-----s…After a while he could take no more…. i was dripping too…..so gently nudged me so i was on my back with the shower just above us, splashing away…..
My legs were wide open when his D--k touched the outer part of my Vee….with one movement he would have been in when i stopped him…
me : I think we should stop….
Timi : why? you want it as much as i do….its been a while dear….please…
i pushed him away….rinsed my body and left him in the bathroom….He came out some minutes later….
Timi : what happened in there?
me: nothing. i think we should wait a bit…..
Timi : why? we aint stangers nkem……
me : i know bby, i just think we should go slow….
I fell into bed, he came beside me and held me in his arms….
Timi : i will wait….i love u…
me : awwww….i love you too….
my phone rang, i knew he was calling me about Kofo….
me : my oga, this weekend i wil prepare semo and bring for you….
i was really feeling guilty…..
Abayomi : Kofo died this evening, she attempted an abortion….
me: Abayomi, i am so sorry….it wasnt your fault. dont blame yourself…..
He hung up….
Kofo was buried two days later at Ago-iwoye cemetary. The only family member of hers present for the burial was her younger brother. Most of us who were kofo’s friend attended, even National came to pay his respects.
Abayomi had confessed to Toun that he still slept with Kofo after she had warned him. Toun told him it was okay, she understood what he was going through…but she broke up with Abayomi…
She had to move in with me for a while, till her heart got unbroken…
Me : So have you spoken with Abayomi today?
Toun : Yes i called him this morning, he is doing fine…
Me : alot of people are saying it was a lecturer that impregnated her, i am sure you must have heard…
Toun : It doesnt matter if it was Abayomi or not. The fact is that he straffed her when he told me he had stopped…
Me : The poor boy needs you right now, atleast go visit him
Toun : What is this?…am i disturbing you here ?…or is Timi complaining?
Me : Ah ahn…no jor…you know i want you around…oya lets change the topic…
Toun : Good…i sm visiting Naetochukwu tonight….he invited me to his house…
Me : same Naetochukwu?
Toun : Yes. or you still fancy him?
Me : no…not at all…
Something had changed about Toun since the break up with Abayomi…She sounded angry all the time…
Me : Will you follow us to campaign at Main- Campus this evening?
Toun : Ofcourse i would, You and Abayomi are my pals for life…
Me : thank you..
There was no Electricity, it was a very hot afternoon. Although one of Obasanjo’s campaign promises had been to provide more electricity, it had gotten worse. Thank God Yar’adua and Buhari were playing it easy…Atiku followed Obasanjo’s footsteps..
I wondered if i was like them, making promises just to win an Election. i shuddered to think of the violence usually perpetuated, unfortunately even my own elections was showing signs of violence. Two cult groups were using the elections as a show of supremacy..We the candidates and the students in general were at the middle..
Timi and Abayomi came to pick us up by 4pm for the campaign, some other guys followed them with their cars too…The singing and dancing took a lower tone, we had to honor Kofo. We seemed to be getting an upper hand as a result of the death.. Students who remembered her as our former campaign manager vowed to vote for us..Even Yewande came to express her sympathies with us….
Shortly before the end of the campaign, Naetochukwu came with his Avalon and scooped Toun away, Abayomi saw him leave with her…As he and Timi dropped me off at home, he shared his fears with me..
Abayomi : do you think she will take me back someday?
Me : truthfully?
Abayomi : yes Tana…
Me : i dont think so, she says you remind her of her Dad…
Abayomi : Wow…..
Me : yes…
Abayomi : you think she will straff Naetochukwu?
Me : that is really noty business….
Timi : i hate that boy mehn….
Abayomi : chai…Adetoun has left me for real…
The tear that rolled down from his cheek got to me…he really loved her…i vowed to scatter Toun and Naetochukwu’s plans, must win Toun back for my bestie…my oga..
To be continued

>>

love quote [Read it]


ADVICE TO LADIES:With all SINCERITY young
Ladies,u truly look PRETTY But i have towarn
u not to loose ur VIRGINITY.Don't allow what
u see in urVICINITY to break ur wall
ofSECURITY...ur VIRGINITY is urDIGNITY,
protect it and make it urnumber One
PRIORITY. Don'tallow error of PROXIMITY to
leadu into IMMORALITY. Some of urfriends call
you MINORITY Bcs udon't follow their PARTY
OFMAJORITY, They show off theirbody as
PUBLICITY & now u arethinking of embracing
theirINSANITY. Pls, don't listen to
themBecause all is VANITY uponVANITY! With
Baba GOD the rulerof ETERNITY you have a
trueIDENTITY & u are covered bydivine
IMMUNITY. Leave them toPARTY in their
IRASCIBILITYbecause in REALITY, the end
isCALAMITY. If u have lost urVIRGINITY
already, don't worry,GOD can still give u a
newIDENTITY. But u have to stop
allIMMORALITY so that u can accessthe
beautiful CITY prepared bythe Almighty...I rest
my case Withall HONESTY


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-10 20:05:48

535 Views




Bolu explained how painfull it was for femi to have another gf upon she loved him so much.Gbenga promised never to leave her alone and their love for each other grows everyday.
After a church service bolu and gbenga were talking and bolu told gbenga that since they are lovers they should share secrets together.Bolu told gbenga how she was once a thief,she started crying but gbenga pet her and kneel before her
At the same time femi and kemi were outside and kemi told femi that she wants to tell femi about what happened between him and bolu.She started crying.Femi told her stop crying and talk she.......
Bolu told gbenga to stand up that it is not appropiate and anyone may pass by,seing him kneeling down will not be good.Gbenga stoop up and tears comes out of his face.Bolu huggee him and told him not to cry and be a man.Gbenga later told bolu that he loved her so much and he dont want to loose her,tears flows again
Kemi told femi that idowu came to him and told her that if she wants to date femi she must seperate him and bolu.And because she loves him,she accepted the offer and arrange her friend to abuse bolu and lie that her and gbenga were dating
Gbenga said hope if he tells bolu what he is about to say,wont she brake up with him and bolu promised not to brake up with him in as much as he did not hate her for being a thief before.Gbenga told her that he planned with idowu and kemi to destroy bolu's relationship with femi.The girl that came to insult you telling you she was femi's gf was kemi's friend.she is not femi's gf,we planned everything so that you people will seperate.All what she told you was a lie
On hearing this femi ran from kemi,he was going to bolu to explain what he just heard
Meanwhile on hearing what gbenga said bolu slapped gbenga and left for house with tears
Find out what happens next in part 4


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Jude: To take my brother and my wife home
Loveth: we do not need you now or in the future
Jude: is not for you to decide,come on
Lambert: have you lost your manner
Jude: oh! father in law thank you for trying t assist my family but no thanks;i can take care of my family(he commanded his boys)go get him
Lambert: you are not good enough for my daughter. if you want to go with your brother;you can go with him but as far as i am concern this bondage my daughter is in,i will break it and as from this moment by daughter as cease to be your wife and never knew you are a monster
Jude: really?
Lambert: yes;Loveth lets go(he held Loveth hand)come on Grace
Loveth: dad;i can't leave him here
Grace: come on Love
Loveth: dad;please.....
Jude: you are not even going with your dad(he dragged her)come on;lets go
Lambert: will you let go of my daughter(they both dragged Loveth)let her go(Jude brought out a gun)what?
Loveth: do you now carry gun
Jude: keep quiet;stay away from me(he point the gun at Lambert)
Grace: please;don't shoot my husband(she hold Lambert)i beg you
Jude: i have no plan of doing that;especially when he doesn't get on my way and if you want your daughter to be save don't involve the police(Lambert dragged himself from his wife to attack Jude but Jude drive away with Loveth)
Loveth: dad;please save me(she screamed)
Lambert: dammit(he pick his phone)
Grace: what are you doing?
Lambert: i am calling the police
Grace: didn't you hear what he said
Lambert: i don't care(he called the police)come on lets go after them
Grace: alright(the drove after Jude)careful


Liz: what are you doing in my house?
Muriel: where is that monster of a son?
Liz: what are you saying?
Muriel: i know my granddaughter is here,bring her out
Liz: you are crazy. what will your granddaughter be doing in my house
Muriel: Jude;bring out my daughter;i beg you
Liz: get out of my house(she pushed her)
Lucas: Muriel;come on
Liz: tell this lunatic to get out of my house
Joan: mom;lets go home
Muriel: i don't want to
Liz: then i will drag you out(she pull her by the hand and Muriel held her hand)what now?
Muriel: i beg you;have mercy on my family(tears roll her eyes)you are a mother;please help beg your son to release my granddaughter;i beg you. please. anything you want from me;i will do just let my.....(Lucas phone rung)is it my son?tell him that his daughter......
Lucas: hello;who is this?
Lambert: is Lambert;there is problem;your son has been adopted with my daughter
Lucas: what?
Lambert: Jude adopted them
Lucas: what is wrong with Jude
Lambert: we are going after them and i have also inform the police
Lucas: do you think it is necessary to inform the police
Lambert: do you want me to fold my hands and let your monster of a son kill my only child(he end the call)where are they?
Grace: we lost them
Lambert: shit

Lucas: Luke have been adopted(Muriel fainted)wake up Muriel
Joan: mother;please wake up
Lucas: if anything happen to them(Muriel wakes up)you will have me to contend with.
Muriel: my son
Lucas: let's go(exit Lucas/Muriel/Joan)
Liz: i just hope that my son doesn't do anything bad


Loveth: Jude;stop the car;where are you take me(he packed the car and dragged Luke into another car)what is going on?
Jude: shut up;boys you know what to do with her
Boy 1:yes sir
Loveth: let me go,where are you taking me?(they pushed her into a room where Ruth is)stop it. let me out
Boy 2: just keep quiet and remain here
Loveth: you will pay for this(she heard a cry and turned)Ruth
Ruth: ma Loveth
Loveth: what are you doing here?
Ruth: uncle brought me here
Loveth: did Jude have to drag you in our issues. you all are monster(she cried and hit the boys)let us go
Boy 1: just stay right there(exit Boys)
Ruth: stop crying,we will get out of here. dad will come for us
Loveth: i pray so baby
Ruth: i know God will answer our prayer(they both cried)


Liz: thank God
Jude: mom;what is it?
Liz: is it true that you kidnapped your brother;his daughter and your wife
Jude: i have no knowledge of what you talking about
Liz: are you sure?
Jude: yes mom;if anything bad happen to them is all their fault and not mine
Liz: i beg you son;if you are involve with it;just let them go before the police will get to you
Jude: mother;please(he walked into the room)this people are testing my patient(he bring out his gun and kissed it)they will hear from me(Liz saw the gun)i will finish them
Liz: so it is true(to herself)i will do what is right.
Jude: mother;i am going out(she did not replied)are you okay?(he touch her)
Liz: i am fine;i was thinking how Muriel's will be feeling now that her son and granddaughter are missing
Jude: i am sure they will see them
Liz: i pray so
Jude: i go ahead
Liz: son please also look for your brother
Jude: fine;i will(he walked away)
Liz: i know better now;i go after him(she drove after him)i just pray is not what i am thinking(curtain)


Lambert: why is all this happening to me?did i offend anyone?
Grace: is all my fault
Lambert: is not your fault i should have know that boy is a monster when he said he want to marry by daughter when i barely know him and i didn't see anything that attracted my daughter to him
Grace: no;i cause it
Lambert: how
Grace: i wanted her to get married but there is no one in her life;i was worried that my daughter might end up single all her life(he stared at her)i was scared of not be able to carry my grandchild and when Liz came with his son;i just practically force by daughter on him(Lambert slapped her)dear
Lambert: my daughter was barely twenty six then and you think she is too old to remain single? do i tell you that i can't take care of my daughter and even if she remain single all her life;i don't care;provided my daughter is just save for me
Grace: i am sorry(she cried)forgive me
Lambert: just get of my sight;i don't want to see your face again till i find my daughter(exit Lambert)
Grace: please forgive me;i know is all my fault(curtain)

Lucas: what do we do now?
Muriel: i will go to the police
Lucas: Mr Lambert have done that already
Muriel: i know but i will place a price on your son's head and that way many people will be helping to look for my him and we will be able to get my son back
Lucas: don't you.....
Muriel: if you scared that your son will be in danger that is not my business because i will not be sentimental any more;i did that once when he hurt my son and this time,i will do everything within my power to get my son back even if it will cause your son's life(she walked away)
Lucas: what is wrong with this woman(curtain)

Jude: (he walked into an fence building without locking the gate and Liz wake in also)wake up young man;stop sleeping like this is your house(he kick Luke)come on
Luke: where am i?
Jude: in my party(Liz saw Luke ran out)
Luke: Jude
Jude: yes
Luke: where is Loveth?(back to Liz)
Liz: i have to call them;no i will text them the address(she text Lucas)i just pray that my son doesn't do anything;i go talk to him(Back to Luke)

Jude: you should be asking me about your daughter
Luke: leave my daughter out of this
Jude: i do not have time to battle words with you. anyway;i will set her free when i am done with you and Loveth
Luke: please;let Loveth go;i didn't do anything to your wife
Jude: she is not my wife
Luke: what?
Jude: i detest everything about that woman. i did not have the heart to love but when i met her everything change because she was the only woman that could challenge me,tell me to my face that i was wrong. i admit she never like me for a husband but she was willing to put up with me because she have no choice than to and then you show up and everything change all because of you. she was even planning to break up our engagement but i was no just one little thing that she can discard at anytime(he sat down)so i force her to marry me
Luke: Jude
Jude: or should i say i force her to live with me because we are not really husband and wife
Luke: i don't understand
Jude: we are not legally married. everything was fake the wedding was a make up one;the man that conducted the marriage is not a priest;he is one of my friend and the suppose marriage certificate is all a make up and the law doesn't recognise such a marriage. everything about that marriage is null and void
Liz: Loveth is not Jude wife(outside)that poor girl is going through hard times in my son's hand for nothing
Luke: you are a monster
Jude: yes;i know. i always get what i want and i wanted Loveth so i get her and she is mine
Luke: she will never be yours(he stand up to attack Jude but he show him gun)do you also carry gun
Jude: i can do anything,whatever i like because i am god of my own. i am god and play with people life whenever i want to and because i want her;she will always be mine and mine alone
Luke: that will only happen when i am death(enter police)
Jude: if that is what you want that is what you will get(he point the gun at him and his mom screamed)
Liz: Jude;please don't,i beg you(she cry and beg him)let him go. set them free
Policeman 1: you all should stay outside
Muriel: i want to go inside and see my son
Policeman 2: you can't,just stay right here
Lucas: Muriel;that is enough,lets wait here
Muriel: alright;i will wait
Policemen 1: come on;surround everywhere(to the policemen)
Jude: that will never happen;he flirt with my wife
Liz: she is not even your wife;just let her go;there will come a time where you will find someone who love you just the way you are
Jude: i don't want to hear that;he can never win one over me;the fact that you take his dad from his mother;that will never happen with me because i don't loss(he hit Luke with the gun)
Luke: Jude;stop it already. we can always settle this
Liz: i beg you son
Jude: no way(he shoot up)i will never give it up(Liz ran outside)
Luke: i am sorry
Jude: your sorry can't fixed anything because i will kill you but before i kill you;you will smell hell(he kicked him on the stomach)
Luke: stop it;stop it brother;when i find out that i have a brother i was excited to see him and when i saw him;he was you,all the anger i have inside of you melt away because you are my blood
Jude: you didn't think about that;you went ahead and flirt with my wife,you cheated on me with her
Luke: no;i didn't do anything with her because i respect her union with you because i don't want to become like my dad. fine;i did flirt with her;that i know is wrong but i have never made the mistake to dishonor her because you are my brother
Jude: you lie(he cry)i couldn't show her how much i love her because i felt that you will always come and take her away from me,so i hurt her

Muriel: Liz
Liz: go on and save him(to the policemen)but i beg you don't kill my son because i cant stand losing my only child(they ran inside)i don't want anything to happen to my son
Lucas: nothing;will happen to him
Policeman 2: drop your weapon because this house is surrounded by armed men
Jude: i am not scared of you all,i am ready to die but Luke must go down with me
Luke: brother surrender yourself
Jude: why?so you go enjoy my mistress
Luke: i beg you(he continue crying)


Ruth: ma;what are you doing?
Loveth: we have to get out of here
Ruth: how is it possible?they have guns
Loveth: just listen to me
Ruth: alright;what do i do?
Loveth: i just pray it work but please pray for our safety
Ruth: i will
Loveth: if we succeed then we are save. act like you are sick and i will scream for help
Ruth: okay(she pretend to be sick and Loveth screamed for help)
Boy 1: what is it?
Loveth: please help us;she is dying
Boy 1: what do you want us to do?
Loveth: i didn't asked you to take her to the hospital just get us drug
Boy 2: what is wrong with her?
Loveth: please;have mercy(Ruth shake more)don't let her die on me
Boy 1: i don't care if she die
Loveth: don't be.....
Boy 2: just wipe your tears i will get her drugs
Loveth: God will bless you(exit Boy 2 and she drop Ruth on the bed)can you get me water
Boy 1: i hate pest(he drop his bottle of wine on the table and left)
Loveth: come here go to the door
Ruth: but why?
Loveth: so that;when he open i will hit him and make sure you run out
Ruth: alright(immediately he walked in she hit him on the head and they ran but the compound is really big)i am tired(Loveth carried her and they run but she was blocked at the gate)
Loveth: not again
Boy 2: where are you going to?
Loveth: i beg you just let us go
Boy 2: why?so my boss will be mad at me
Loveth: he won't know(she drop Ruth)do anything you want with me but let her
Boy 2: really(he dragged her towards the door)you cant leave baby
Ruth: i am not leaving out her
Loveth: baby;just ran away
Ruth: no way(she pick a big stone and used it to hit the boy and he screamed;Loveth free herself from him and ran away with Ruth)
Boy 2: come back here(he ran after them)
Loveth: baby;don't let go of me
Ruth: i won't(she rise her head and see policemen)ma,look there are so many police there;lets go report(they ran to them)
Loveth: please save us(she saw her dad)dad
Lambert: my daughter;thank God; you are alive(they both hugged)
Loveth: where is mom?
Ruth: grandma
Muriel: oh my baby(he cry and hug her)i just hope your dad is alive
Lucas: i will inside
Lambert: why?did you want to kill yourself(they heard another gun and Lucas and Loveth ran inside)my daughter(back to Jude)

Jude: oh!she is here to witness the big occasion
Loveth: Jude;let him go
Policeman 3: drop your weapon or i shoot
Jude: you want to shoot(he dragged Loveth and place the gun on her head)go on and shoot
Policeman 1: let go of her or i will shoot you
Luke: please don't shoot
Lucas: Jude;son let her go
Loveth: have pity on me
Jude: i will never be satisfy till you are dead(he pushed her to the floor as he was about shooting her Lucas ran into it;he got shot and the police shoot him at his leg)oh! father;he cried(they cuff him)i am sorry dad(they all run in)


Liz: Lucas;please forgive me
Lucas: you did not do anything
Luke: sir
Lucas: forgive me son;forgive me for not being able to make it up to you. for being a bad father
Luke: you are not a bad father;i am sorry that i misjudge your action. i am sorry(he cry)i love you dad
Lucas: can you call me that again
Luke: dad
Lucas: thank you;i feel relief now. forgive me(To Muriel)i am sorry for hurting you
Muriel: just don't say that now;lets take you to the hospital
Lucas: the only thing i need now is your forgiveness. please forgive me
Muriel: i forgive you(he held her hand and put it on Liz)thank you(he take his last breath)
Luke: dad
Liz: don't tell me he is dead
Luke: dad;is no more
Liz: no oh(she screamed and Muriel hugged her they both cried)
Jude: i am sorry father(they take him away)forgive dad

Loveth: father(she hugged Lambert)
Lambert: come on my daughter;it is over
Loveth: thank you dad(he hugged her)


SEE FINAL EPISODE......





NAIRAJOKES.COM




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EPISODE 27

Mma set the table and called Madam.
Cynthia dropped her iPad and pulled out of the
couch. She dragged to the table.
‘Water for washing hand, ma.’
Cynthia opened the china containing soup.
‘Are you sure I can eat this?’ ‘I suring you very well, ma. You eating it and
licking your fingers.’
‘Did you put that dark smelling stuff?’
‘No, ma,’ Mma lied.
‘Thank Heavens.’ Cynthia washed her hands, one
hand actually. ‘Are you not joining me?’
‘I eating in the room, ma.’
‘Why?’
‘I liking to eating there.’
‘Mma, the table is meant for dining, that’s why it’s
called a dining table.’ ‘Ma?’
‘You eat here not in the room.’
‘Ok, ma.’
A moment later and Mma dropped her soup plate
on the table and sat facing madam.
Cynthia glanced up at her. ‘Why dish your food in those plates?’
‘Ma?’
‘Those are old dishes, we don’t use them
anymore.’
Mma did not understand; dish the verb and dishes
the plural noun all seem very confusing. She said ok anyways.
Cynthia picked a lump of stock fish from her soup
and threw into her mouth.
‘The soup actually tastes nice.’
Mma smiled. ‘I telling you before.’
The two pregnant women sat down quietly and enjoyed their meal.
Halfway in, Mma stood up. She beat her belly
lightly.
‘What is wrong with you?’ Cynthia asked.
‘My belle turning me. I think I going to toilet.’
Mma had been gone for a while when Cynthia’s eyes flitted across the table and a thought came to
her mind.
Perfect time — she was almost sure she heard
Vanessa’s voice in her mind.
She held up her soup-soiled fingers still in the air
for a while, mind busy with cogitation. She finally rose and walked into the room.
A moment later she was back at the table. She
stared at Mma’s food, turning the bottle Vanessa
had given in her hand.
Then, with one quick sudden motion, she let a drop
of the purplish content of the bottle into Mma’s soup.

TO BE CONTINUED


>>

BRO PAUL
Written By Onihaxy.

Episodes:

“Who is Riri? She is the main pivot of this” Mrs
Lokko said.
” I don’t understand Mum. Riri is an usher at our
church and is very committed to her duty,” Mansa
said. ” You won’t understand my daughter. Don’t
worry,
that moment will come. For now it will be very
hard for you to take it, I’m just happy my
daughter
has finally returned to me. Look, let me take you home and show you around” Mrs Lokko said.
They got ready and left the office.
Chris on the other hand had an offer for his drugs
to be bought at GHC 80,000. That was higher than
usual.
He was up for it. He agreed to meet the the person to seal the deal, get his money and eventually pay
Asabea off.
Chris then went home from Asabea’s place. He
was
unaware the Kuu had been released.
As soon as he got home, he had a phone call. The call was from the police headquarters where
Kuu was arrested.
On Phone:
CID: “Mr Chris, Good day. ”
Chris: “Yeah, Good day, how may i help you?”
CID: ” I just called to inform you that Kuu was released this morning.”
Chris: ” What! How could you do such a thing?
Who
authorized that?”
CID: ” We found no evidence against him. Besides,
the victim has not testified that or made any formal report.”
Chris: “No! no! you can’t let such a criminal to be
walking around like that. What about the phone
lines that were cut off, was that not enough?”
CID: ” We are going to look into it but until then,
he is not our primary suspect. I will let you get the
updates of whatever happens but until then, bye.”
You're reading "Tears Of a Bleeding Heart episode
25" you can click here for more story www.facebook.com/mrcouple4u The CID hangs up on him.
Chris was not happy about the release of Kuu. It
was now obvious that he was the one who made
the report. .
“I see you are not happy about my release Chris.
So you actually made the report for me to be arrested,” Kuu said standing at the door leading
to
his room. Chris all along didn’t notice that he was
there and was actually listening to his
conversation.
Chris was surprised to see him there. He didn’t know how to cover up any more.
“What were you thinking of? You were supposed
to
meet her and tell her your feelings and not to
rape
her” Chris said. “How could you? Upon all that I’ve done for you?
Tell me, was the handkerchief really from Mansa
and who was behind the phone lines being cut
off?
As far as I’m concerned, I never did that. Chris, did
you frame me up or what? Kuu asked. “You can think of whatever you wanna think. I
wonder how Mansa will feel when she finds out
you were the one who put her into this mess”
Chris
said and walked out on him.
Kuu found it very hard to believe. How could his own brother do such a thing looking at what he
had done for him in the past.
What he was worried about was how Mansa will
take it when he confesses to her.
Mrs Amposah got out of her room when she
heard Chris’s voice. It seemed she was going out,
looking
at how she had dressed.
“I thought I heard Chris’s voice,” Mrs Amposah
said.
“He is in his room” Kuu answered with a bitter tone. That was unusual of him. His mother
noticed
it.
“What is wrong with you boy?” she asked.
“Nothing” Kuu answered straight forward.
“Why are you giving me such straight forward answers? Remember I’m still you mother. I
demand some respect” Mrs Amposah said.
Kuu ignored her, he was just mute and kept
watching her as she talked.
From his actions, Mrs Amposah knew that Kuu
really heard something from the conversation she had with Riri earlier on.
“Anyway, I’m going for a meeting. I will see you
when i get back” Mrs Amposah said.
“Should i drive you? Kuu asked since he was the
one who usually does that even though they had
a family driver.
“No, you need some rest. The driver will drive me”
she said and left.
Kuu instantly knew that she was up to something.
He however knew what to do.
Mrs Lokko and Mansa had arrived at her house. Mansa was surprised to see that the house was so
huge that, you could easily forget the way in
trying
to locate your room.
The compound was a large area with a lot of cars.
Indeed Mrs Lokko was really a wealthy woman. From the look on Mansa’s face, Mrs Lokko could
tell that she was amazed by what she saw.
“Mansa, welcome to your home. This is my house
and as matter of fact, your house. All i have
belongs to you. God blessed me with all this after
i ventured into exportation of our made in Ghana
goods. Mansa my daughter, i have been building
all this wealth for you to take over some day” Mrs
Lokko said
“Mum, I’m just happy to have found you mother.
” Mansa said
“Listen my daughter , no body needs to know
who
you are or even of my existence. You will go back
and anytime you need something, just call me”
Mrs Lokko said. “But why mother?” Mansa said
“The more you know, the more i put you into a
very big risk. Trust me, the right time will come”
Mrs Lokko said.
Meanwhile Chris was also getting ready to go and
do his drug transaction. He had agreed with the buyer to meet him in the next hour.
He dressed up and without telling anyone, he left
the house and went to the meeting point .
He got to the place 10 minutes and met no one. It
was an uncompleted building in an isolated
place. It was secured enough to transact such an illegal
business.
He tried calling the buyer’s number but the phone
was off. After some few minutes, he head
footsteps approaching him.
It was the buyer. He turned around and to his amazement it was Obed.
Before he could open his mouth to talk, a whole
bunch of police men started coming out from
thier
hide out. He was surrounded by the policemen
who were all along in ambush.

>>

Ladkia market main patakhe khreeed

rahi

hai…..!!!!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

And boys market main patakhe dekh

rahe

hai…….!!!!

njoy with patakhas boyz nd galz ???? ????

Happy Wali Diwali !!!Related

THE MISTAKE OF MY LIFE

EPISODE 2

Reginald soon woke up, ignored my greeting, washed his mouth and left the house without a word. I was terribly scared because of the way he looked at me. I knew it was just a matter of seconds before he kicks us out of his room. I sobbed quietly as I lamented my fate.

“My mates are all with their parents, enjoying their lives and planning for a brighter future. Here i’m suffering like a refugee I reasoned with tears. “only if I had listened to him months ago and terminated my baby, I wouldn’t be suffering in this manner". I said to myself bitterly. But deep down in my heart I equally knew I rejected to do his bidding because I couldn’t bear such guilt which would have been terrible and unbearable.

Akosua’s loud cry soon calmed me. I quietly carried her, changed her napkin, breastfed and sang a lullaby for her. He came in that moment eyeing us.
“Have you packed all your things?” he asked coldly.
I swallowed hard and stared at him pleadingly.
“please don’t do this to us” I begged,“we are already managing well, I’ll start a trade very soon” I added.

He scratched his head uneasily and again eyed me murderously,“do you call this life eeh? Abeg shut up that your dirty mouth” he barked, before grabbing all my clothes which he dumped inside an old large bag, fetched Akosua’s things and equally dumped them in it. “Here is two hundred and fifty Cedis it’s your transport fare to your parents house, I have tried enough for you, I won’t kill myself doing it mtcheeew” he muttered and threw the money at me.

Tears instantly fell uncontrollably from my eyes, I had no where to go.
I was doomed, I dropped Akosua on the bed, knelt and begged him “please Reginald, please” I begged again and again, but instead of my pleas to calm him, it infuriated him tremendously. He slapped me hard,grabbed the bag and threw it out of his room.

“I will do the same to you and this baby if you don’t leave peacefully” he threatened.
I stared at him heartbroken, and hungry, cursing the day I granted him access to my body. The story of my love life with Reginald really is a long one.

An affair which never should have happened in the first place had I ignored my heart, because he really had nothing to offer me, yet I foolishly fell in love with him. A very stupid teenage love affair which I now regret.

Love dosen’t work in an empty stomach, neither does it work in an unsecured environment.
Reginald wasn’t in love with me any longer because circumstances changed and he only saw me as a burden to his miserable life.

He totally ignored Akosua’s cries, my pleas and our neighbours preachings as he pushed us out of his house that fateful morning.
A day I was supposed to be happy because it was my birthday.


What happens next?
WATCH OUT FOR EPISODE 3


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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See wahalaoooo [Read it]


Make una See me See wahalaoooo,
I went for the burial of a friends grand dad somewhere in Anambra, & in that village, when someone dies, an elderly man will come up and tell whose next to die. So this man came along and said that
the next person whose going to die is the one who decides to leave the burial ground first. Friends since yesterday I stil dey dia ooh, nobody wan 1st go oo, everybody just lie down, Even the old man at age 112
years is lying down beside me,is asking me if my people never start to look for me?
As am talking to u now. Am still lying down What should I do next ?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-22 09:20:59

699 Views




It was almost four days the last time i prayed which has never happened to me before, my beard was not there again and it was like i love the new me and people commended me that i now look handsome. I returned to the house on Sunday in company of Aminat and went straight to my room, Ismaeel was inside and was surprised when he saw me. The last time he saw me, it was my hair but this time around, my trouser too is now touching my ankle. “What is happening to you abdulrahman? Where have you been since on Friday that you left this house, even Aminat was not around too, i called your number but you weren’t picking”
Me: Am very sorry for not picking your calls, at least am not a kid and i don’t think i ever question your where about ever since we have been staying together in this house, you have gone for a whole week before without telling me where you went to.
Ismaeel: Am very sorry, i just felt as a brother i should know things about you ni and for the fact that things are not normal with you again
Me: Things are not normal with me again as in? Are you insinuating that am now a mad man
Ismaeel: No ooooo…i don’t mean it that way, what i mean is your physical appearance
Me: Maybe this is the new me, this is the new redefined Rahman..you should accept the new me my brother
Ismaeel was dumb founded with my statement and didn’t even know what to say again, Bode called me afterwards to find out if i was home already which i told him we are home and doing fine, he asked when i will be coming back and i told him i will let him know before the weeks runs out and Aminat will communicate with him
Ismaeel: i knew it, i knew when Aminat was not around too, you guys will be together, brother mi, gist me now, whats happening now, feel me in now..is Aminat the new girl now? Are you guys dating now
Me: we are not dating…we are just close friends, am so sorry with the way i talk to you
Ismaeel: No problem bro…gist me now
Me: We went to club together on Friday and decided to crash in one of her friends place till today
Ismaeel: and what happened?
Me: we had sex….
Ismaeel: you had sex? Wow…that is marvellous
Me: stop now, stop shouting now, you want her to know am telling you this? This is just a secret between us
Ismaeel: wallahi, this call for celebration, at least you don forget about Aisha for now
Me: who is Aisha? Me and her are not in the same category again oooo…i don pass her level abeg
Ismaeel: Thank God..Thank God my brother has seen the light, i said it since on Thursday i saw you shave…The only painful aspect of that Aisha girl is that you didn’t fucck her
Me: Fucck Aisha? She was actually the one that disvirgin me and it was on the night of Ezekiels birthday when you guys gave me stupid rice chop, i did it for the first time under the influence of weed
Ismaeel: sincerely, that is the best way to do it…so, u don mark register for Aisha
Me: uncountable times, more than 50 times, do you think it was a joke when you were telling me that i was getting lean way back then and i lied to you it was the stress i was passing through..
Ismaeel: that is through ooo……we must celebrate this ooo….this call for celebration
Ismaeel brought out sprite for me and opened a red label he kept somewhere in the room where my eyes will not see, he brought glass cup for both of us and it was a surprise to him when i started mixing sprite with red label in the cup and didn’t know when i slept off. Aminat was the one that came to wake me up again with a kiss that she has prepared food for me in her house and asked either to bring it to my place or i will come and eat it in her place but i said i will come and eat it in her place. Ismaeel was just praising me when she left.

Read Episode 42

EPISODE 31

After staring at ourselves for a couple of minutes, I ushered them into the house to talk more on the situation at hand.
Vincent: We need to start planning on how to get the girls back in one piece
Frank: I dunno but do you guys think we should leave it for the President to tackle? Of course he’ll do everything to get back his daughter and the others won’t be left out.
Me: Marcus knows that before he abducted them which means he had this planned all along and it won’t be easy for the President to get them
Vincent: What’s the plan guys?
Frank: First and foremost; I suggest we vacate this house at once for the main time, it’s not save. Victor you know Marcus will come back for you right?
Me: I guess
Vincent: You guess? Have you forgotten how you kicked his ass when he attacked you which landed him in jail in the process? He’s not through with you bro; I suggest you come stay with me
Me: Alright; lemme go grabbed some things **I went into the room and arranged some clothes and other important stuffs that I needed.
We vacated the environment that moment to Vincent’s apartment. He was living in a simple self-contain apartment with nothing special about it. He was indeed on a low level. After settling for a moment, an idea popped into my head. I picked my phone and dialed Ike’s line.
Me: I need your help bro
Ike: What’s up mahn?
**I told him everything**
Ike: Who’s that crazy dude? He really got guts! What can we do to nail that [email protected]?!
Me: We will be going ahead of the President to get the girls back
Ike: How do you intend to do that? Do you have any lead on how to reach them?
Me: Not really…that’s why I need your help
Ike: What do you want me to do?
Me: I’ll need some tracking devices from you and other necessary technological devices that will be used to reach them
Ike: That can be arranged
Me: Like how soon can it get here?
Ike: I’ll go to the plant as soon as I drop this call and fix up everything that’d be needed. I will make sure I ship the supplies in two days’ time
Me: Please bro…We need to act fast
Ike: We’ll surely get the girls in one piece

I told Vincent and Frank about my discussion with Ike and they agreed that it’s a good idea.
I called the First lady; she wept on phone. I comforted her that nothing bad will happen to Mirabel and I’ll do everything I could to get her back. She thanked me then I ended the call.
Now I dunno how to tell my Parents that Nancy has been kidnapped, especially my mother. I decided not to tell them about it.
I told promise about it; she was shocked. She promised to pray fervently for their save return.
Cynthia, Lola and Dax called me that they heard about the abduction when they returned back from where they went to. They promised to do everything they could to rescue them.

**************************
Frank later went to the house and planted some security cam all around the environment to see if Marcus would come around.
I went to the School the following day not to receive lectures but to meet with all my departmental lecturers to let them know what’s going on and that I won’t be attending their lectures till I return from my quest. They all approved easily because they know me and Mirabel as well.
I went back to Vincent’s house and had a chat with Ike. He told me he is seriously working on the devices that they’d be shipped anything tomorrow.
Frank: Come check this out Victor
I walked to him where he was seated
Me: What is it?
Frank: My hunch was right; Marcus and his gangs visited the house early this morning. He wouldn’t have hesitated in killing you
I watched in Frank’s laptop how Marcus and his boys find their way into the house in search of me before they left a couple of minutes later.
I still have a purpose to fulfill here on earth; I won’t die!
Vincent: You should remain indoors bro…they might be monitoring your movements. You going to the school today was extremely dangerous. What if they had spotted you?
Frank: I heard the other guys that were broken out from prison were convicted criminals. They were freed to work for Marcus. As it is right now, the President still in Dakar Senegal has instructed the information and communication Minister to make a public announcement about the kidnap of his daughter and her friends and who is behind it.
Me: Will that be necessary?
Frank: Well…he’d be needing the public cooperation in the search of the girls just in case they see something as the government don’t have any lead on how to find the girls yet
Vincent: I’ll talk to my father to make sure every border is to be secured so Marcus won’t succeed smuggling them out
Frank: The orders are already taking effect. There are thorough check points on every part of the road and Marcus will be regarded as a terrorist.
*This time I know that my mother will definitely hear the news.*
The Information & Communication Minister came online live on TV exactly 2:00.pm in a press conference to do the announcement. He called on the general public to be an ambassador of peace and security. He announced the act of terrorism being portrayed by Marcus and his group. He said a lot before ending the speech that “Marcus is the most wanted man in Nigeria”.
**I got a call from an unknown caller some few minutes later after the announcement**
I picked the call and put it on loud speaker but hesitated to speak up
Caller: How you holding up Victor?
Me: Sorry…who is this?
Caller: I’m the new crowned most wanted man of the Nation mahn **Laughing out**
Me: Marcus!
Marcus: What’s up?
Me: What have you done to them?! Why are you keeping them? Wh…
Marcus: **Cuts in** easy there mahn…one question at a time. You’re already weeping; I thought you’re strong? I paid you a harmless visit today but you weren’t around. Are you hiding from me?
Me: What is it that you want?
Marcus: Good question! But the question is; can you give me what I want?
Me: What is it?
Marcus: Can we meet?
Me: I thought you’re smarter than this; you know there’s no way that’s ever gonna happen
Marcus: Why? You can’t do that for the safety of Mirabel?
Me: I know you’r not going to hurt her
Marcus: Is that so? Can you say the same for the other two?? **Laughs** reason why I took them as extra; they are of no use to me and I’m sure you wouldn’t want anything to happen to your sis
Me: How’d you know that she’s my sister?
Marcus: Lemme say…I did my homework
Me: What exactly do you want from me?
Marcus: Maybe you think I’d gun you down; nah…I made an agreement with my partner not to harm you and I wouldn’t want to breach our agreement. So I’m not goin’ to kill ya
Me: And who is this your partner?
Marcus: You will meet her soon
Me: Your partner is a lady?
Marcus: I will call you back in the next 15hours to hear your response. You know how to keep simple instructions right? Better don’t be a snitching a$$ ba$tard. Mirabel might be save but your sister is not! **Hangs up**
Me: Guys…?
Frank: I don’t believe him, it’s a trap
Me: We’re not sure about that
Vincent: Then what? You will give a thought to what he said?
Me: I dunno…he sounded sincere
Frank: How can he be sincere? Which lady would spare you from him?
Me: I need to speak with Ike
**I dialed his line and told him everything**
Ike: Is that so?
Me: Yea…
Ike: We shall play a risky game with him
Me: How?
Ike: I will be in Nigeria tomorrow with experts and the devices; then we’ll make a master plan.


TO BE CONTINUED


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"The Curse
of Cornelius
Sigan" Dav Moo Digging beneath the castle uncover
tomb full of wealth and the waiting
soul of a dead sorcerer. A would-be
thief ingratiates himself with Arthur
and usurps Merlin's position to get
access to the key that will allow him rob the tomb, but he gets more tha
he bargained for. Merlin is forced to
to the Great Dragon for help to defe
the powerful sorcerer, but the price
a promise of freedom. 15 2 "The Once
and Future
Queen" Jere We Prince Arthur believes that he will o
be able to prove himself in a joustin
tournament if his opponents do not
know his real identity. While he goe
under cover to compete as an
unknown knight, an assassin arrive in Camelot to murder the prince. 16 3 "The
Nightmare
Begins" Jere We Morgana begins to suspect she has
magic and Merlin wants to help des
Gaius' warning not to get involved.
When Merlin assists Morgana to reac
out to the Druids for help, King Uthe
declares she has been abducted an sends Arthur with a party of knight
kill the kidnappers and rescue
Morgana. 17 4 "Lancelot
and
Guinevere" Dav Moo A gang of criminals abduct Morgan
and Guinevere intending to force Ki
Uther to ransom his ward. When
Morgana escapes, her abductor
attempts to pass off Gwen as the
king's ward. While imprisoned, Gwe discovers Lancelot working for the
kidnappers. As Arthur and Merlin
attempt to rescue Guinevere, she an
Lancelot also make a bid for freedo 18 5 "Beauty and
the Beast -
Part 1" Dav Moo The lone survivor of an attack on a
nobleman's household and her od
servant obtain refuge with an old
friend, King Uther, but she is not wh
she appears. 19 6 "Beauty and
the Beast -
Part 2" Meti Huse Even when Merlin successfully
unmasks the troll for what she reall
is, her enchantment continues to ho
her new husband, King Uther. It will
take Arthur's death to break the sp 20 7 "The
Witchfinder" Jere We A harmless bit of magic by Merlin
brings the wrath of Uther's witchfin
down on Camelot. The witchfinder
accuses Merlin of being a sorcerer b
it is Gaius who takes the fall. 21 8 "The Sins of
the Father" Meti Huse Arthur faces a challenge from a
mysterious knight who turns out to
a woman. He is forced to face
Morgause in a battle to the death. S
defeats him but spares his life in
exchange for a promise to meet her and further tempts him with the
knowledge that she knew his moth
What Arthur discovers when
Morgause uses her sorcery to allow
him to speak with his dead mother,
forces Merlin to lie in order to stop Prince Arthur from killing his father. 22 9 "The Lady of
the Lake" Meti Huse Merlin rescues a lovely young Druid
girl but her former captor says she
was cursed. 23 10 "Sweet
Dreams" Alic Troug Five kings gather in Camelot to sign
peace treaty, but one of them inten
to scupper the talks. King Alined's
jester uses magic to enchant Prince
Arthur and the beautiful Lady Vivia
incite a war between her possessiv father, King Olaf, and Camelot. 24 11 "The Witch's
Quickening" Alic Troug An unscrupulous rebel uses Mordre
to contact Morgana and convince h
to steal a valuable crystal which he
believes will aid in his quest to
overthrow Uther. Arthur is able to
retrieve the crystal but not before Merlin has been tempted to use it an
see a future which terrifies him. 25 12 "The Fires of
Idirsholas" Jere We Morgause uses her magic to re-
awaken seven undead knights and
intends to attack Camelot. She sedu
Morgana into being the source of a
spell which puts everyone in Camel
to sleep and leaves the city vulnera When Merlin and Arthur return to th
city to warn that the undead knight
are awake, they are helpless to bre
the spell and begin to succumb
themselves. Merlin must make a
desperate choice, and keep a promi 26 13 "The Last
Dragonlord" Jere We Merlin's promise unleashes the Grea
Dragon's revenge on Camelot. Whe
Merlin's magic proves ineffective, th
only hope is to contact the last livin
Dragonlord. But as Arthur and Merli
set out on their quest, Merlin's mind full of the shocking revelation Gaius
has told him.







NAIRAJOKES.COM




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You don’t have to be straight to be in the military; you just have to be able to shoot straight.

-Barry GoldwaterRelated

419 Akpos [Read it]


Akpos was sitting down at
home resting after a hectic
day in the office before a text
entered his phone.
"CONGRATS!!! you have just
worn 1 MILLION Naira. Please
rush now and pay 1000 Naira
to this account number
92876334... to claim it.
Regards"
Akpos then replied "Minus
11,000 Naira from the 1
million and pay 989,000 Naira
to 229840....."
After few minutes another
text entered "Why are you
giving us 11,000 Naira back"
Akpos replied again "N1000 is
to claim it while N10,000 is
for you to use and go for
mental check up. Idiot!!!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-30 07:32:44

488 Views




How do Pathans practice safe sex?

They mark the camels that kick!Related

And your crybaby whinny opinion would be...? This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. If I throw a stick, will you leave? If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put
shoes on my
cats. Does your train of thought have a caboose? Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. A PBS mind in an MTV world. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you
missed. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then
name streets after them. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead. A woman's favorite position is CEO. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you
realize you haven't fallen asleep
yet. Can I trade this job for what's behind door number
1? I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted
paychecks. Too many freaks, not enough circuses. Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done. I plead contemporary insanity. How do I set a laser printer to stun? Meandering to a different drummer. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to
go? #let me see yoo yellow black white teeth shining # www.facebook.com/9jastudentforum #HappySunday #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-27 13:27:53

353 Views




Hot Girl in Hot voice: Batao mere underwear me kya hai??

Batao??

Batao na?

Santa-(At his best)

.

.

.

Elastic hi hoga..aajkal nade wali kaun pehenta hai? ????Related

"what other five lettered words do you know?" I asked
Eniola.
I was helping her with her homework.
"Errrm..M-U-M-M-Y...." she scratched her head.
I laughed "write it down."
"I don't know anyone again.." she said looking up.
"What about D-A-D-D-Y, DADDY?"
"I don't want to write that" she frowned
"Why?"
"I don't have a daddy" she looked down
"You do have a daddy" I corrected her.
"I don't, i can't see him" she squealed.
Just then a customer walked in.
"Please I need a bottle of water" he said.
"Okay, gerrit from the fridge!" I replied without looking up.
"Good afternoon sir!" I heard Eniola say.
"Hi pretty, what are you doing here?" he replied.
"Mummy, look at the man that nearly hit me that day."
Eniola informed me.
I looked up with a smile, but...
I just froze. The whole place became tensed; I could hardly
breathe, what does he want here? How did he know I'm
here?
"Teju?" David found his voice.
He dropped the bottle of water he was holding.
"I....errm..Teju...what are you doing here?...I
mean..errm...how did you get here?" he looked pleased.
My tongue cleaved to the roof of my mouth. He hasn't
changed a bit..still the good-looking guy that ruined my life.
I swallowed hard.
"I...errrm...isshe your daughter?" he persisted.
I felt anger surged through my veins.
"Yes o! She's my mother" Eniola quipped,
"Shut-up Eniola!" I screamed at her, was suprised at my
outburst too.
The startled Eniola walked gently back to her book.
"And you!" I turned to face David.
"You came to buy water abi? Now take your water and walk
out." my voice was rising.
"Teju..." he began.
"I'm sorry...I really am.." he moved towards me.
"Sorry? What for?" My voice was suprisingly calm.
"I never meant to hurt you..."
my cruel laughter cut him short.
"I'm sorry Teju, I don't know why you hate me so..."
A resounding slap stopped the gibberish talk.
"now you know how much I hate you huh? Leave my shop"
I told him with my hands akimbo.
I expected him to hold his cheeks or make an expression,
but he didn't seem to care about the slap.
"Teju please, we need to talk.." he tried to take my hands.
"if you touch me ehn? I swear, I go wooza you!" i
threatened.
He smiled, turned to Eniola, squatting beside her he said.
"Baby...what's your name?" his voice was cool.
"Eniola David." she replied slowly with fear in her voice.
He held her chin softly, he examined her face, his hands
patted her eyebrow..he searched her eyes..
"Take your filthy hands off my daughter!" I retorted, pulling
Eniola away from him.
"She is mine right? She is my baby huh?" he was wearing a
wierd look.
"see thief o..." i clapped my hands.
"you hate me so much, you claim to love my daughter..." he
said in a lament.
"she's not your daughter!" I shrieked.
"she is! Her name is Eniola David..which other David do you
know apart from me?" he moved towards me "Isn't it so
clear? She has my face..."
"leave at once!" i cut him short
"I will, but I'd come back tomorrow to pick my child." he
said stressing the word 'child'
I watched him as he left my shop.
I turned to glance at Eniola, i knew i was in deep mess if he
should sue me to court. I don't think I can survive Eniola's
absence.
"mummy don't mind him you hear?" Eniola said hugging my
waist.
Tears streaked down my cheeks.
Is this my destiny? Do I have to suffer? In what way did i go
wrong? Do i deserve all these?
Tomorrow! He said. I needed to act fast. He definitely can't
take my daughter away.




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CANS [Read it]


A man walked into a gun store and asked to purchase a gun.
The store owner asked, ” What do you need the gun for?
He said “To shoot some cans”.
So he went away with the gun.
He came back the next day asking for a bigger gun, claiming he still had more cans to shoot. He walked away with the bigger gun. He came back again the very next day demanding an even bigger gun. The store owner asked out of curiosity ” What cans are you shooting sir? He replied, ” AmeriCANS, JamaiCANS, AfriCANS


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-11 13:02:58

359 Views




Don’t talk about what you have done or what you are going to do–do it and let it speak for itself.

~ Martin VanbeeRelated

BROKEN SEAL
Episode20

Me: (confused) Oh my…. What
happened to you, Isabella?
Isabella: long story bro.
Me: don’t skip any bit of it.
Isabella: we….i mean my
boyfriend and my two other
friends. Finished our night
reading and were heading to
our respective dorms when a
three-gang men attacked us.
Me: yes? What did your
boyfriend do about it?
Isabella: common please, they
overpowered us….
Ella: what did they take
anythinq from you?
Isabella: I think they weren’t
after money or anything! It
was only me they centered on.
Me: what! Why? Do you have
an uneven score with anyone?
Isabella: No! They also left a
message, but i can’t recall what
they said.
Me: shìt! Recognise any of
them?
*Samuel barged in*
Me: you might wanna attend
moral classes.
Samuel: i did that years ago,
hey i knocked but got silence
for a reply….it looks like
someone survived and aero
crash.
Me: its rather called a serious
issue! Isai was attacked last
night.
Samuel: what?!! By who and
why?
Isabella: one of them look
familiar, he’s a big time night
racer downtown.
Samuel: I think i know that
sparky! Is he fair, muscular
with dark curly hairs?
Isabella: exactly!
Samuel: that should be Adrian!
That guy is a green snake, a
dangerous one! How on earth
did you cross his path?
Me: there’s only one way to
find out.
Samuel: don’t even have a
streak of amicability in your
idea ‘coz Adrian is not the
friendly type!
Me: then we hook him up with
our bad sides.
Samuel: thats gonna be fun!
Ella: hope you guys aint
thinking of something
dangerous?
Me: no honey, just a question
and answer session.
Samuel: hmmmm….why don’t
we meet up in my house later,
so we can draft everything?
Me: thats what we gotta do.
Ella prepared breakfast for us
and left a couple of hours
later. Isai would be here with
me, probably for a day or two.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Minutes past 5pm, i went to
Samuel’s. According to Samuel,
Adrian or whatever he calls
himself is a dangerous guy,
probably getting to ask him
questions wouldn’t be as easy
as we can ever envisage. To
avoid having Adrian win on
both ends, we decided to have
concealed pistols with us. We
did a little far range shooting
exercise. Its now 8pm – time
to pay Adrian a visit!!!!!!
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Adrian smiled as he cleaned
two of his MAG-7 and one
KS-23. The MAG-7s are meant
for his friends. He had listened
to all the conversation Isaiah
and co were having earlier.
Thanks to the tele-bug he
planted in Isaiah’s living room.
He knew they would come for
him, though he’s in the dark
about the day and time. He
made up his mind to always go
out ready for anything! He got
dressed up in a casual wear
and hopped into his porsche.
He would be having a duel car
race tonight!!!

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