Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


MY FIRST PREGNANCY EPISODE 4

Because he was even sounding more afraid than Mrs faith,he agreed and he walked out of the labour room, he sat on a chair not to far from the labour room,the nurses placed Mrs faith on the bed gently to avoid her and the baby getting hurt.after they placed her on the bed she screamed because she felt a pain right in the central of her abdomen.the other nurse went to call the doctor while the other nurse stayed with her to calm her down.mrs faith was still uncomfortable,she danced up and down the bed because of the pain......"ahhh Jesus I don't want to die like This oo Jesus",cried the woman in the second room beside faith's room,faith became more afraid after hearing,she knew that the woman was in labour,and that she was going to experience what the woman at the other room was experiencing,Mrs faith started crying uncontrollable,the pain stroke her again and again she almost felt like collapsing because the pain, her thoughts and the tears were having effect on her,....(nurse):"please be calm nothing will happen to you just cool down",she said to mrs faith,she looked at the nurse as she was talking but she didn't even care because she was under an extreme pain,to her the nurse was talking bull shit,the pain was attacking her spine core with no mercy,she totally wanted to die at that moment,she couldn't think straight.the doctor came in as quickly as he could, with some other nurse,when he got in, she was almost the the edge of blowing up like a balloon,the nurse brought a moving tray close to the doctor, where all the things needed for the child birth arranged in an appropriate manner,the doctor suited up with the help of nurses, then he applied the necessary substance on the glove her wore..............TO BE CONTINUED....STORY BY DINDY.....WHATSAPP NUMBER:07087750433....FACEBOOK NAME:OSSY NNAMDI
PLEASE DO NOT SHARE WITHOUT TELLING ME



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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A priest and a nun were lost in a snowstorm. After a while, they
came upon a small cabin. Being exhausted, they prepared to go to
sleep.

There was a stack of blankets in the corner and a sleeping bag on
the floor but only one bed. Being a gentleman, the priest said,
"Sister, you sleep on the bed. I'll sleep on the floor in the
sleeping bag."

Just as he got zipped up in the bag and was beginning to fall
asleep, the nun said, "Father, I'm cold." He unzipped the sleeping
bag, got up, got a blanket and put it on her.

Once again, he got into the sleeping bag, zipped it up and started
to drift off to sleep when the nun once again said, "Father, I'm
still very cold." He unzipped the bag, got up again, put
another blanket on her and got into his sleeping bag once again.

Just as his eyes closed, she said, "Father, I'm sooooo cold."

This time, he remained there and said, "Sister, I have an idea.
We're out here in the wilderness where no one will ever know what
happened. Let's pretend we're married."

The nun purred, "That's fine by me."

To which the priest yelled back, "Get up and get your own stupid
blanket!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-23 11:49:43

587 Views




Governor oshomole and obasanjo was seating
next to each other in the church
When the pastor said look at your nabour and tell
him her you are beautiful or handsome obasanjo
look at osho baba and laugh
The pastor ask what is the problem Obasanjo said to the pastor you tell oshomole
yourself that he is handsome
Because I don't want to lie in the church #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-04 12:19:36

1192 Views




Akpos went to an electronic store, he asked the storekeeper "what is the price of this TV?" The storekeeper answered "we don`t sell our products to Akpos." 


Akpos again came next day by cutting his head and asked "what is the price of this TV?" The storekeeper replied "we don`t sell our products to Akpos". 


The next day Akpos came with a different face and asked "what is the price of this TV?" The shopkeeper replied "we don`t sell our products to Akpos." 


Finally Akpos got irritated and asked the shopkeeper "how do you recognise me every time?" The storekeeper replied "because this is not a TV it is Microwave Oven!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-25 12:27:57

581 Views




A lady enter a bus and the lady has big brest with a chaplet in the middle aproko started staring at her the lady wit out knowing say aproko u ar looking at the jesus right aproko say no am looking at the two thief beside jesus


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-20 13:26:08

1810 Views




Aashna Ho To


Aashna Ho To Aashna Samjhe;

Ho Jo Na-Aashna To Kya Samjhe;



Hum Isi Ko Bhala Samhhte Hain;

Aapko Jo Koi Bura Samjhe;



Vasal Hai Tu Jo Samjhe Use Vasal;

Tu Judaa Hai Aagr Judaa Samjhe;



Jo Zeher Deve Apne Haath Se Tu;

Tera Bimar-e-Gum Dawa Samjhe;



Ho Wo Baigana Ek Alam Se;

Jisko Apna Wo Dilruba Samjhe;



Ai ‘Zafar” Woh Kabhi Na Ho Gumraah;

Jo Mohabbat Ko Rehnuma Samjhe!Related

Akpos went to a bar to relax his nerves this sunny afternoon. While at
the bar Akpos shouted and said to the barman; "Give me a bottle of small
stout and give everybody here 2 bottles of big stout let them enjoy
because when I drink stout, everybody drinks stout."
The barman obeyed people in the bar started hailing Akpos while sipping
on their free drinks.


Akpos ordered again "Barman! Give me a bottle of small stout and give
everybody here 2 bottles of big stout let them enjoy because when I
drink stout, everybody drinks stout".


Everybody cheered and hailed Akpos louder. After some minutes again
Akpors said "barman give me a plate of fish pepper-soup and give
everybody here two plates of fish pepper-soup each, let them eat while I
eat". They were so happy and heaped praises on Akpos while they ate and
drank.


About an hour later, Akpos beckoned on the Barman and said to him,
"Bring me my bill and also give everybody here their bill too because
when I pay my bill, everybody will pay their bills too!"
Please help
save Akpos who is still lying unconscious at the intensive care unit of
General Hospital in Lagos.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-19 08:29:58

597 Views




Santa standing on the scale, holding his stomach in.

Jeeto: I don’t think that is going to help.

Santa: Sure it does. How else could I see the numbers?Related

Biwi: Sunoji, 1 hafta ho Gaya, aap chudai kyo nahi karte?

Husband: Tumhari behen ki shaadi hai’ na ?

Biwi: haa…to ?

Husband: Usko practice karwa raha huRelated

sexy jokes [Read it]


Two friends meet in the office of one of them, a notorious techo-geek.rnrn"Hey, bud, how are ya?"rnrn"I'm good. Congratulations, that new secretary of yours is beautiful!"rnrn"Well, I'm glad you like her. Believe it or not, she's a robot!rnrn"No way, how could that be?"rnrn"Way! She's the latest model from Japan. Lemme tell you how she works. If you squeeze her left tit, she takes dictation. If you squeeze her rightrntit, she types a letter. And that's not all, she can have sex, too!"rnrn"Holy shit! You're kidding, right?"rnrn"No, she's something, huh? Tell you what, you can even borrow her"rnrnSo, his friend takes her into the restroom and is in there with her for a while. Suddenly, he hears him screaming "Eeeeyaaaaa! Heeelp" Ooooooh!rnAaaaaaah! Eeeeeeeeeeeaaargghhhh!"rnrnThe guy says, "Shit! I forgot to tell him her ass is a pencil sharpener!"rnrn


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-20 09:01:56

1681 Views



Akpos last job [Read it]


MAN: Why did you
leave your last job?
AKPOS: It was
something my boss
said.
MAN: What did he say?
AKPOS: You are fired!



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-19 16:55:54

480 Views



Church donation [Read it]


A frnd invitd me 2ha church. As d service wz abt cumin
2an end, d Pst gav an anoucment.
Pastor: Brethren, we hav a project in d church dat
rquires 5.5M naira to execute. Pls we hav to do it b4 d
end of dis yr. So we al hav 2make pledges.
All d members bgan to stare @ each oda nd afta a wyl,
a young man stood up.
Rufus: wen it coms 2d wrk of God, i dnt delay..how
much r we talking abt?
Pastor: 5.5M
Rufus: ohkay, I'm making a pledge of 6.5M
On hearing dat, d Pst stood @ akimbo for mins wyl d
congregatn gav a deafening clap offering.
Pastor: praaaiz d Lord
Congregatn: hallelujah
Pastor: Bro Rufus, so wen r u goin 2giv us d money?
Rufus: pastor I'll pay. I'll make sure I pay..
Pastor: I knw but pls giv us a date
Rufus: I WILL PAY B4 I DIE...
D pastor lukin so frustratd n confusd askd "My broda, pls
wen r u goin 2 die?"



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-13 21:01:52

342 Views




Rs 5 to hear Narendra Modi’s speech wasn’t a bad deal at all, considering the nation was paying a huge price for Manmohan Singh’s silence!Related

WATCHING FOOTBALL with
some
wives can be very frustrating
and
stressful!
Wife : Dipo, who's that guy? Is that
Chris Brown?
Husband: Chris Brown bawo?
No na,
that's Theo Walcott!!
Wife: Hey! What's that yellow card
for?
Husband: It's a warning to a
player;
and red means the player must
stop playing and leave the pitch.
Wife: Ohhh! It's something
similar to
a traffic light: Yellow -
warning, Red -
Stop. Husband: Yeah, yeah sure.. You
are
right!!
Wife: What about the green
card?
Husband: Ohhh! there's nothing like
that in football.
Wife: Which teams are these?
Husband: Which kind wahala
be this
na?!! God! It's Arsenal and Chelsea.
What again?!
Wife: Ok ok ok! What colour is
Arsenal
putting on?
Husband: You no get eyes? No be red
jersey be that?
Wife: Ok..which team is putting
on
blue?
Husband: (upset)...Omg! Haba! Wetin
na? Don't you know its
Chelsea?
Wife: Hen hen? Wow! I want
Arsenal
to win the world cup. Husband: Wetin concern
Arsenal with
world cup? Where you from
sef?
Wife: Take am easy na! Please
who's that old man?
Husband: Hmmm... that's
Arsenal's
coach, Arsene Wenger.
Wife: Oooh Ok..... I understand
now. Sooo that means the other
coach is
Chelsea Wenger?
Husband: You are silly. Wo,
arabirin
free me jare!! (Changes Channel to
Africa Magic and left the house
for a
viewing center nearby!)....
Wife: (Smiling to herself) If I
don't do that, I won't be able to watch
my
favorite Telemundo
#BOLLYSneh™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-23 10:32:46

495 Views



THE DEFENDER [Read it]


Darkness around, silent voices I heard, took me minutes before I could figure out I had to open my eyes and see that the sun was still shining bright in the centre of the sky, I could feel serious pains around my head, I turned sideways and my eyes was directly facing his black dirty boots, I tried to look up at his face but I couldn’t, I tried raising up from the sandy ground but still I couldn’t, I began to think I had become paralyzed but I could still feel my legs connected to the rest of my body, so I summoned the highest amount of energy I could to aid myself up and this time I was about getting fully up when suddenly he kicked me back to the ground with his heavy boots. I felt more pain in my rib bone, my eyes opened and I saw his face. It was Kelly, standing and looking very ferocious. He looked at me wickedly and like a devil in a human suit. He stood bravely with his face filled with smile and joy at my fall; I felt pain, disappointment and embarrassment all at once as Kelly bullied me in public. I began gathering myself together and coming back to my senses. Kelly had laid ambush for me and gave me a perfect attack from behind by hitting a rod on my head which led to my fainting.
I wouldn’t have bothered if I didn’t know the reason why he has chosen to bully me but I knew he was doing this to me and it was all because of his girlfriend, Trisha, who he thinks I am dating but the actual truth is very far from it because I honestly don’t have anything to do with his girlfriend but he wouldn’t believe me.
‘This is just the beginning’ Kelly said to me, I looked up at him, and swallowed the saliva gathered in my mouth. ‘There is more where that came from if you don’t stop chasing my girlfriend, that’s just a warning’ he said harshly and walked away in haste. I took my time to gather myself up. First thing I did was to remind God who I have always diligently served that I wasn’t meant to be punished this way and that he should start preparing to fight for me as I tried to figure out Kelly’s next plan which could be to kill me because I have heard rumors that he belong to a secret cult on campus.
That day, I didn’t see Trisha till the following week when she returned from a visit to her family. I narrated what happened to her and she hit the peak at once.
‘His he mad, why would he do that to you?’ she asked rhetorical question
‘Are you asking me, isn’t it obvious?’ I asked back.
She stood up sharply from the bench we were both seated on. It was later in the evening I heard from friends who said she went straight to meet Kelly and put on a free show for all as she met him in his department chatting with friends and there she chose to scold him. My sources also added that she slapped him more than twice and called him a coward also adding that he has never done most things right and that if he lays another finger on me, she would call of the relationship.
When I asked what Kelly’s reaction was, I was told that he only stared at her as she performed wonders but that after she marched out of the hall, he vowed that he would teach me a bigger lesson as I have successfully turned Trisha against him. God and lot of people know that the only thing between me and Trisha is that we help ourselves with lots of class works and assignment. Due to the fact that am very brilliant but he would never concur and I can’t fight. I am a very strong believer in God almighty who is the creator of the heavens and earth and it’s only him I turn to any time I have problems and I have already put this one also one the table.
Seconds ran, minutes marched, days walked by and as the month strolled by, I kept praying steadfastly, during my praying time for protection. Although I didn’t receive any more treats from Kelly and I tried keeping distance with Trisha but she wasn’t helping matters. I started reducing the amount of time we spent together and started making fake excuses most times after spending little time with her and she noticed this.
One Saturday night, I woke up in such manner that I felt odd. I felt two things, either something was missing from me or something was about to happen. I checked myself thoroughly and then I figured out that it must be that something was going to happen very soon. I check the time and it was almost eleven o’clock and I felt I should pray and immediately, I did. I began praying that my spirit began leaving the earth, I felt myself in the gates of heaven and at a moment I thought my prayers weren’t enough so I began singing praises. I sang and sang and sang. I couldn’t feel anything around me just then I felt a hard force disturb my session and then I could feel things again. I knew then that I wasn’t in the heavens anymore. I knew I was back to the earth and as I opened my eyes I found the lights in my room all switched on, but what shocked me most is that I saw three men standing at my door. One was thin with over grown hair and a tooth pick hanging from his mouth, his style I guess, the one in the middle was very bulky and chesty and a small calabash like object hung on his neck, no doubt; it was a charm while the third of them was Kelly. They were all dressed in yellow top and red trousers, I wasn’t really surprised as what I was witnessing and I boldly asked them what they want but I got no reply. They just kept staring at me till Kelly raised his left hand up to check his wrist watch I also turned to the clock on the wall and the time was four minutes to twelve. I turned back to them sharply.
‘Good, you won’t live to see tomorrow Mark, You have only few minutes to say your last prayers before I put the final full stop to your story.’ Kelly said and I saw the bring out guns from their backs and pointed it at me, I silently prayed that the spirit of God should come and help me as I can’t help myself at this time and then I could hear the spirit of God telling me that I should tell them that there weapons won’t work on me and I did immediately.
‘Isaiah 54: 17’ I said ‘No weapon formed against me shall prosper’
‘Yes we know that’s why we didn’t come with any kind of weapon but with fully fortified weapons that would pull down every security lock you have on.’ Said Kelly
‘You better don’t try my God because I know he is right here and would fight for me but I won’t want you to suffer so I would say you should leave here right now’ I said to them feeling confident that the spirit of God was in me but the busted into laughter immediately I ended my speech.
‘Where is he? Asked the thin one with overgrown hair
‘Under his bed I guess, waiting to surprise us’ replied Kelly, both still laughing except the third bulky and chesty one. He stared at me and raised his Gun back at me, cold blood ran through my body and then I heard the spirit said something to me. It sounded like. ‘Watch and see, I would take over from here.’
‘Take over Lord’ I said replying to God, just then I heard clicks of Kelly and his gang members attempting to shoot me but the guns sounded empty with bullets. They stared at each other in astonishment. They looked at me and at themselves again still in total confusion and disappointment. I saw this and smiled at them.
‘Unum, I hate to say I told you but I told you’ I said to them with my tongue out like a happy child.
Then I saw the bulky one nod to the rest that they should retreat and so they did. Immediately they left, I went on my kneels and continued praising God for helping me over come death, after few hours I went back to sleep and I did sleep like a baby.
The next day as I walked to the school fellowship for Sunday worship, I noticed that people were staring at me; I didn’t know the reason as they seemed to be happy for me for some reason, it wasn’t long before I walked into familiar faces who were also on their way to give me some good news. It was about Kelly and his gang members. I was told that has they left my place to wherever they planed to go to, after getting midway, Kelly became furious with the gang leader which was the bulky one that he was disappointed at what happened at my place and he shot both the gang leader and the other one and they both died instantly. As if that wasn’t enough, he himself went to the police station to report himself.
I didn’t know if I should be happy or sad but I kept singing song of praises to God whom I knew was the one who saw me through. People were really happy for me because it was reported that before they came to my place, they had gone to another student’s place that had disputes with the thin one and they successfully carried out their operation there but failed on getting to mine. People asked who really my God was as the student that was killed was the son of the general overseer of a very popular church in the country and many expected to him to also be very close to God and not fall at the attack of the evil ones.
As for Trisha, I was surprised at her reaction to the event that happened. She was happy that Kelly has being dealt with and happy that she was free from him. ‘he promised to make sure I passed with distinction from this institution when I first met him’ she said but he never fulfilled any of those promise, rather he turned her into his sex toy and when she tried to help herself by becoming study mate with me, that was what caused all his act of treats.


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Man pass man [Read it]


When a strong and rich man takes your wife, just
call him your in-law. This is the best way to still
have access to your wife. Abi? #lols


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-08-16 19:50:04

207 Views




‘(“3 Dost The” )’



..



Billu, Gullu, Ullu..



Billu : B.Sc Me pad raha hai..



Gullu : B.Com me pad raha hai..



Or



Hamara Ullu ..: msg Padh raha hai.



‘Haa Haa Haa’

Hans mat mere saath bhi aise hi huwa hai chal ab teri baari hai bana subko Ullu…



Jaldi jaldi bana warna ye msg market me purana ho jaayega…Related

Akpos.. Welcum Bros Bros.. Hw Ar You Akpos Akpos ..Bros I Just Feel Not To Go For Work Anymore Bros.. So U Really Enjoy Ur Leaf Akpos Ans Yes Bros Brother U Must Resume Back On Monday Akpos Ans Ok Bros But I Just Want To Tell U Dat I Just Finished Using Ur Wife Akpos Brother Just Fainted







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-22 16:08:17

540 Views




Mary and Jane are talking.
Mary declares that she`s finally got pregnant after years of trying.
`How did you manage it?` asks Jane.
`I went to that hypnotherapist on the High Street,` replies Mary.
`I got pregnant within two months.`
`Oh, my husband and I tried seeing him years ago,` says Jane.
`It didn`t work for us.`
`Of course it wouldn`t,` replies Mary. `You have to go alone.`


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-15 18:21:17

939 Views




For 2months, Stella and I didn’t talk to each other.
She cooked her own meals differently while I cooked
my own differently too.
Infact we did everything differently including some of
the things we used to do together before.
Whether I was right or wrong wasn’t my concern, my
happiness was that I said my mind the way I deemed
necessary.
Nonetheless, the incident strained my relationship with
Dennis and I demanded an explanation from him.
Dennis explained that he had met Stella some years
back and had fallen in love with her and everything
had gone well between them till he discovered that
Stella was a runs girl and quit the relationship.
He further explained that they had lost contact since
then till that morning when they met in my presence.
Dennis’ explanation left me with goose pimples all
over my body.
“If only he knew I was a runs girl too,” I thought to
myself smiling.
My beef with my roommate continued nonetheless.
I had gone to see a friend and was coming back when
I saw mobile policemen surround our hostel talking in
low tone.
“She’s the one!” my roommate exclaimed as soon as I
entered the compound.
“What?” I asked nearly taking to my heels.
“You’re under arrest for conniving with cult-boys to
snatch your roommate’s jeep,” the leader of the
policemen said flashing his ID card. “You have the
right to remain silent or whatever you say will be used
against you in the court of law.”
That I didn’t faint that moment was by the grace of
God.
How on earth was it possible that Stella’s jeep had
been found?
The guys that did the job had assured me that the
operation went smoothly and hitch-free. How come
the new development?
We soon got to the station and true to their words,
Stella’s jeep was there.
“Please I wish to make a call,” I begged one of the
policemen.
“Make call nah! Na new thing?” He snapped back
looking away.
I dialled Senator Clifford’s number and luckily for me,
he picked and I explained everything to him.
All he did was ask me to hand over the phone to the
DPO which I did and before I knew what was
happening, the case was closed and I became a free
girl instantly much to the chagrin of my roommate

>> Episode 26 -

Newlyweds, Tim and Nancy, spent their wedding night at a hotel.


The following morning, Nancy’s closest friend, Jennifer, came over and asked them how their wedding night went.


“I’m so exhausted,” Nancy said. “All night long it was up and down, in and out, up and down, in and out.”


Misunderstanding her, an embarrased Jennifer was shocked that Nancy would speak so crassly.


Tim clarified by adding, “Don’t ever get a room next to an elevator!”Related

You stop and pick up a nice hitch-hiking girl. Suddenly she loses consciousness and you take her to a hospital.
This is STRESS!

In the hospital you are being told that she is pregnant and doctors start congratulating you with the future newborn. You explain that just an hour ago you have seen her for the first time in your life, but she starts telling that you are the father.
This is a BIG STRESS already.

You require for a DNA analysis and they make it. Then the doctors tell you silently, that actually, you can't be a father since you are genetically sterile (genetically cannot produce children).
This is a STRESS, combined with a relief.

On your way back home you remember, that you have three kids.
That's what called REAL STRESS.

P.S.
What do you do to your wife when you get home?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-03 07:09:37

114 Views




AKPOS: I Have Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, Yahoo, Tumblr, Msn, Skype and G-Talk.
FRIEND: Dude, do you have a life?
AKPOS: OMG! No! Send me the link.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-30 04:59:10

229 Views




Ana's POV

Everything was going as per plan. I finished my course and it was my last summer as intern. After internship, I had a full time job with regular

pay and benefits lined up. I was so much looking forward to it, since I made this plan, after watching Mia and her family. The final part of the plan was to settle down somewhere and start searching for my dream prince, get married - have babies ... kiss and hug them till they get tired of me.

All these years, I was too busy to look at the boys and because I was still following Sally's conservative dress code, the boys had no reason to look at me. This way I was able to concentrate on my studies and career.

One advantage of growing up in a orphanage was that I had a nation wide network of brothers and sisters. When Cari came to know that I was coming to Vegas for internship, she made sure I was staying with her and we had a really good time.

Cari wanted me to ditch Sally's rules and start living life. She tried to lure me to her parties and even tried to put me in the dating game, but I managed to avoid all her plans. I promised her, to do everything she wanted for Halloween party, as it was supposed to be my last day in Vegas.

Cari went out of her way to make it special for me. She bought a gorgeous princess costume that included all the bells and whistles, to make one look like a princess. However the model picture on the costume showed a blonde girl and I was a brunette. She also arranged a blind date for me, a computer engineer, to take me to the party.

Halloween Day

I was still sleeping, as my last day of internship finished the day before and I had already packed all my things for my New York trip the next day.

Cari woke me up. "Honey, I am leaving for work, but you need to follow my instructions for today. Remember I own you for the day. You can have your beauty sleep, but you need to be at the spa by 2 PM. The spa's address is on the dining table." She whispered into my ear.

"Cari, I have never been to one and wouldn't know what to ask for?" I realized I didn't know the process.

"on't worry, they know you are coming and I left the instructions with them. You just have to show up. Also after you are done, come to office by 7 PM. I am taking your costume with me. We will change there and I need to do the finishing touches on you." She gave me a sweet smile and left.

I was at the spa exactly at two and then for the next four hours, my body parts were pulled, tweaked, twisted, massaged and subjected to so many processes that I lost count. They didn't ask me a single question, but worked on every part of my body. Finally I was allowed to look into a mirror and I was shocked.

I actually didn't recognize myself and was searching for me. My hair was all blond and curly, just like the picture of the model princess. I couldn't believe I could look that amazing. Not sure what they did, but my face was glowing like those fashion models. I thanked them and stepped out, but realized I need time to adjust to my new appearance because of the looks I was getting.

I looked into the mirror and was amazed at the transformation. I wouldn't recognize myself on the street. With the makeup, artificial eye lashes, blonde hair and the princess tiara, I looked completely different, just like a Disney Princess.

I looked at my dress and wasn't very comfortable, as it exposed too much cleavage and when I protested to Cari, she simply said, "You have been hiding them too long Ana, time to use them."



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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A Dad Went To School To Get Son Report Card.



Busy Madam: Abhi Nahi.



Dad: Mera Bahot Mood Tha Abhi Sab Dekh Leta.



Madam: Main Sab Dikha Dongi Per Abhi Nahi.



Dad: Tou Phir Kab Aon Mein?



Madam: Mere Periods Khatam Hone Ke Baad.Related

the angry pupil [Read it]


akpos had a problem with his class teacher.later in the day the teacher asked the class"which of you can guess my age?".akpos raised his hand and said"sir you are 36" teacher"how did you get that coz that is exactly my age" akpos"my elder brother is 18 and very foolish and looking at you you are 2 times foolish than my brother so i multiplied his age by 2"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-08 15:36:36

495 Views



Motion Sickness [Read it]


Santa and Banta are discussing the possibility of love. “I thought I was in love three times,” Santa says.
“Thought…?” Banta asks. “What do you mean?”
“Three years ago, I cared very deeply for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me,” Santa says.
“Wasn’t that love?” Banta asks.
“No, that was obsession,” Santa explains. “Then two years ago, I cared very deeply for an attractive woman who didn’t understand me.”
“Wasn’t that love?” asks Banta.
“No, that was lust,” Santa replies. “And just last year, I met a woman while I was on a cruise. She was gorgeous, intelligent, a great conversationalist and had a super sense of humor. Everywhere I followed her on that ship, I would get a very strange sensation in the pit of my stomach.”
“Well, wasn’t that love,” asks Banta.
“No. That was motion sickness!” Santa replies.Related

Good thought [Read it]


One afternoon akpors arrived from school with his report-card singing and dancing.when he got home his dad ask him what happened,after telling his dad to rejoice with him.he later tell his dad that their suffering to raise his school fees has ended,the poor man was happy thinking he was granted scholarship.then ask him how it happened then he told his dad he was told to drop out from school because of his poor performance.one word for akpors


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-03 09:43:52

523 Views



Words of Wisdom [Read it]


Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater.If you give her a sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.So, if you give her any aggravation, be ready to receive a ton of stuff in return.Related

IN CASE U WISH TO OPEN YOUR OWN CHURCH,
DON'T DEAR USE SOMEONE ELSE'S REGISTERED
NAME. • God is Real Ministry. Motto: "Jesus
no get muscle but he get power" • Fire Burn
Ministries • JESUS THE LANDLORD, WE THE
RELAXING PEW MINISTRY - Port harcourt •
Happy Go Lucky Church of God Almighty In
Jesus Name Amen - Abeokuta • Old time
religion ministry • Strong Hand of God ministry
• Best Spot In The Land of God Church -
Apapa. • Trigger happy ministry. Motto-
"always firing the devil" --- Affiliated to
MOPOL or Niger Deltamilitants eg MASOB •
KASABUBU CHURCH OF GOD - Ibadan • Jesus
knows his children ministry - Benin • SEVEN
THUNDERS OF JESUS • Perfect Christianity
Ministry Here's the sign for Run for your life
chapel • The Yoke Must Brake Ministry • Jesus
Heal Ministry • Face to face ministry • Angels
on Fire Chapel of Peace • Liquid Fire Ministries
(Suleja, Niger State) • By fire By Fire Ministry •
HOLYFIRE OVERFLOW MINISTRIES • David
Killed Goliath Ministry (Kaduna) • House of
Jehova's Padawans (TransAmadi, PH) • JESUS
IN HIS MIGHTINESS GLOBAL MINISTRY • God
in action ministries • Moving mountain gospel
church • MY BROTHER IS A CHRISTIAN
CHURCH OF GOD • Fellowship of the Wings -
Ajah (Lamgasa) • Power Foundation
Ministries, Aba. === The pastor's maiden
crusade was titled: "Your Money is Looking
For You" • HOLY GHOST ON FIRE MINISTRY
(Abuja) • HIGH TENSION MINISTRY • Devil go
hear am Jesus Ministry • Accredited Church of
God • Chukwudi & Son evangelical ministry,
Aba • Power pass power church of the
mountain ministry incorporated • Ministry Of
The Naked Wire - Bayelsa State • LABORATORY
CHURCH OF GOD •Elshaddai Shall Not Die
Ministries • Jesus Of God Mission (Imo State) •
God's Mennonite Church • Guided Missiles
Church - Lagos •JESUS IN THE NEW GLOBAL
MINISTRY' • Healing Has Begun Ministry •
God's Own Ministry • The True Assemblies of
God. •Healing Has Begun Ministry • God's Own
Ministry • The True Assemblies of God
Church. . • Go and tell Ahab that Elijah is here
Ministries - Benin. * Akpors family ministry.
motto laugh out ur sickness


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-22 20:01:52

303 Views



True Love [Read it]


The following conversation ensued between Akpos and his girlfriend:


Akpos: Baby, even though I don’t have a well-furnished duplex in Victoria Island like John, 2015 Range Rover Sport like John, and even if I’m not working in Chevron Oil Company like John, I love you with all my heart! That’s the best thing I can give you.


Girlfriend: (sobs, moves close to Akpos and whispers in his ear) If you truly love me, introduce me to John


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-21 13:27:21

720 Views




Last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me, my parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work, even my colleagues didn't wish me.

As I entered my cabin my secretary said, "Happy Birthday Boss!". I felt so special, she asked me out to lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment and we went there. She said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?"

"Okay", I said

She came out 5 minutes later with a cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends and my colleagues all screaming, "SURPRISE!!!"

...and I was waiting on the sofa. NAKED!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-10 19:50:56

417 Views



about april [Read it]


April 1st is named FOOL'S DAY, after Steve April. He wasborn on 1st April 1579. He did 105 businesses in his lifetime.He lost all his father's assets, and so everyone started callinghim father of the fools.At 19, he married a 61-year-old woman who divorced himafter a year because of his foolishness. He used to read allkinds of fake stories like you are doing now.Happy April fools day


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-01 08:45:07

258 Views



My heart desire [Read it]


Post BodyPLEASE READ FIRST:
*** This story is “NOT EDITED” so the readers are expected to understand the spelling and grammatical errors.
*** This story is a work of fiction. All names, characters, locations, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination, or have been used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, locales, or events is entirely coincidental.
*** The uploading, scanning, and distribution of this story in any form or by any means – including but not limited to electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise – without the permission of the author is illegal and punishable by law. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.
MY HEART DESIRES BY ANCHORLANIOUS © 2017
Am confusing can anyone tell me the truth yesterday was 2016 and today 2017 does that mean that tomorrow 2018?
No no I can't believe it
Hahahaha *HAPPY NEW YEAR 20177777777*

Session one episode 1


I sat down on a cemetery when this angel was passing by holding one blue band rubber and some shirts on a huger.
Anchor: Did you have her number?
Amé: Yes I do, why? did you want to rone her?
Anchor: I just dey feel her waaaa, but she has a boyfriend if am not mistaking?
Ame: No that boy is related to her but still trying to decode her
Anchor: Who am I referring to?
Ame: Isn't not Felix?
Anchor: Yeah how did you know that
Ame: That's whom we all know, but did you know something
Anchor: No
Ame: If she returns back asks her her digit pretend as if you do have and let see her reaction
Anchor: Okay I will do that, so are you sure she do have any pen drive?
Ame: Master look sharp, we dey for market where everyone is looking for what you are looking for, so pari make ward and get your own.
Anchor: No problem,
If I get this young girl ah hmmm I will scan, decode, format and that all.
Ame: Eiiii please don't spoil the girl and leave her ooo
Anchor: Here she comes
Anchor: Rosaline where from you?
Rose: My father's place
Anchor: Can I have your number
Rose: I don't have my number in mind
Anchor: Okay let me flash my line using your phone.
She handle me her Samsung Gi198... To me I flash my number and her name appears on my screen cox I've I've store her number before she arrived
Anchor: Waoo wonders shall never ends my number start with 054423 and yours also stated the same so let put everything in one plate
Rose: I don't get you can you through more light on that for me?
Anchor: I said let us do it as one family
Rose: Okay am not getting you but can you call me, cox am in hurry
Anchor: No problem
Ame: Hmmm Rose where is your boyfriend?
Rose: I do have any?
( phone ring)
Rose :hello am coming home, okay yoo
( referring to me)
I've to go my mum just call so call me when you reach home
Anchor: Okay I will
(After she went)
Ame; if you make ward you can get this girl ooo
Anchor: Ebi market let me try, niga we have to get out of here
Ame: Okay, tomorrow make sure you come early.
@ 5:40pm according to my time.
I went to the nearest vendor and get some airtime of GHc 1 before going home, I reached home took my bucket move to fetch water while I roll down the mini bucket to fetch water from the well I remember making call at 6:00pm is better than, on my screen it writing * 0% discount to MTN. Text start to 146 for daily romance story*
I quickly dial Rose's number, to my surprise.....guess what happened
TBC




NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Main Aur Meri Padai, Aksar Yeh Baatein Karte Hain, Tu Khud Ho Jaati To Kaisa Hota.. ????Related

Lulli aur Zubaan Mein Samanta:

1. Dono Mein Haddi Nahi Hoti.

2. Dono Par Kabu Rakhna Mushkil.

3. Dono Se Laar Tapkti Hai!Related

Most common chat on facebook:

Boy:”hey

(after few seconds boy thinks kamini reply to degi hi nahi)

Girl:”hey hi

(aa gaya kamina)

Boy:”hows u.. ??

(chudail ko kya hoga bhala)

Girl:”I’m fine

(puch to aise raha hai jaise hospital me admit hu)

Boy:”bf hai ??

(kamini sub ko add karti hai kitno ko fasa ke rakha hoga)

Girl:”kyu batau ??

(kamina shuru ho gaya line marna)Related

A little boy was at a
house party with his
parents when suddenly
he asked his mom,
"Mom, where do babies
come from?"
Shocked, the mom
replied, "Go ask your
dad."
So the little boy went
to his father and asked,
"Dad, where do babies
come from?"
Shocked, the father
said, Go to your
grandma."
So this went on and on
until finally, he came to
his mother again. Out of
breath, the boy asked,
"Mom, I'm really tired
from running around all
day... please, just tell
me, where do babies
come from?!"
Giving up, the mother
replied, "Well, when
your dad and I got
married, we really
wanted a boy so we
took a seed and placed
it under a rock under a
tree and prayed really
hard for a boy... so the
next morning, you were
there.
Satisfied with the
answer, the little boy
wanted to try this for a
little boy too. So that
night, he took a seed
and placed it under a
rock under a tree, went
to bed and prayed really
hard for a little boy for
himself.
The next morning, he
jumped out of bed and
ran to the tree. Angry
and disgusted to see a
frog on the rock, he
picked up the frog and
said to it, "Listen here
son, you tell no one... I
repeat, no one that I'm
your dad!"



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-01 17:50:44

577 Views




Naija Babes and BlackBerry Gist.
Juliet: Hey Susan, I just got my BlackBerry ooh. I'll buy my pin next week.
Susan: Hmmm..... U try o! Me don dash Jane my own oh!......
Juliet: Ah! Why na?
Susan: Bcoz BlackBerry don tire me, now na BB i dey use!
Juliet: Wow! U're rich oh! I envy u! Is ur BB samsung or Nokia?
Susan: Noooooo! How can I use those cheap BB! It's Microsoft na.
Juliet: Wow! Dat 1 must be very expensive oh! Shay BlackBerry can ping BB?, Just give me your pin so dat i can call u when I buy my own pin!
Susan: Eiyaaa, i'm sorry, I left my pin at home u know it's not safe walking around witt your pin, e fit chook u 4 body oooshe.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-09 17:53:53

286 Views




Accurate communication is so important.

A woman to a man during sex:

‘Keep it up!’

Man wonders if it was a complaint or a compliment!Related
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