Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


The wise person often shuns society for fear of being bored.

~ Jean de la BruyereRelated

THE MISTAKE OF MY LIFE

EPISODE 4

“good-day DAD” I greeted fearfully as he approached me, but he simply gave me a terrible look, spat and shook his head, “you are no daughter of mine, you are a big disgrace to my family, just look at yourself and what you have done to your future” he muttered with an angry tone, walked into Mum’s shop cursing angrily.

I was extremely disheartened and downcasted.
“Dear Lord open up the earth and swallow me, please” I knelt and cried.
People passed by and watched me silently, some laughed, some murmured inaudible words, some scoffed, some sighed in pity, some shrugged and cursed my parents, but none came forward to help me. Not even my younger sisters.

By 4pm that fateful day, I returned to my landlady’s shop with a broken spirit and a weak body. There were tears in her eyes as she saw me walk in. She quickly offered me a chair before giving me a plate of rice.

‘Oh I really would have died that fateful day if not for her’.
I can never forget all she did for me.

Our land-lady fondly called Mama Theresah by everyone who knew her was a very kind hearted old woman, who managed to raise her three children all alone with the little profit she made from the small street corner “Food-Joint” she owned.

Her husband{our landlord} was just a well known drunkard and gambler who spent all the money he made from his old house, drinking and gambling. He really made ‘pool promoters and agents’ very wealthy with his stupidity.

Mama Theresah was thus forced to fight for her children alone, perhaps that was the main reason she felt and understood my plight.

“don’t worry my dear, I’ll talk to Reginald when he returns this evening, I really don’t understand men nor boys of nowadays” she assured me as I ate with a broken spirit.

“What will I do if Reginald refuses to listen to her” I wondered fearfully, “perhaps Mama Theresah will allow me work for her” i reasoned with a dry smile, “but where will i be sleeping” I asked myself sorrowfully.

I really was very worried as we waited for Reginald to show up that fateful day. But to my extreme surprise, he came home by 9:30pm, dragging a young strange woman who looked like a w---e with him. I was broken hearted, dejected and in tears. Mama Theresah simply shrugged and held me. “that’s some of the things we poor women face in life, don’t let it bother you” she calmly advised.

But something deep down told me I had lost Reginald forever.
The little hopes I had were dashed that moment.



What happens next?
WATCH OUT FOR EPISODE 5!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Santa: My wife keeps complaining that I’m not willing to commit. She’s wrong.

Banta: I think she is right.

Santa: Not really. I’m willing to commit

.

..



adultery!Related

1. Woman is the last thing God created and the only thing he did not plan to create.
2. Woman is the first creature to disobey God.
3. Woman is the cause of all the problems, troubles we are having in the world today.
4. Woman is easily used by the devil.
5. Woman is like alcohol, if you take it too much, it will destroy you.
6. Woman is like cell phone, any day you press the wrong number, you will not make calls.
7. For woman marriage is business.
8. Woman is naturally wicked.
9. Don't take it for granted when a woman threatens you.
10. Woman likes money more than anything.
11. For woman,marriage is for better for stay, for worse for run away.
12. Woman is like flower, today it blossoms, tomorrow it fades away.
13. If you became poor, woman will give you only one year to recover.
14. You will never know the true nature of a woman until you become broke.
15. Woman can smell money from 1000 miles away.
16. Woman is like chameleon, she brings different characters.
17. Woman thinks straight.
18. Woman is unreliable.
19. Woman is proud.
20. Woman doesn't want to hear that you will be rich tomorrow, she want to hear that you're already rich.
21. Women like reaping where they did not sow.
22. Most times her Yes is No and her No is Yes.
23. No matter what you tell a woman, if someone tells her something better than what you told her, she will abandon you.
24. If your vehicle breaks down woman will jump out, watch you repair it, then afterwards she will come in and enjoy the ride.
25. Woman enjoys retaliation and revenge.
26. Woman becomes wise @40
27.
Ordinary animal, snake deceived woman in the Bible, some people say it
was Satan that enter the snake, that's a big lie,read that chapter,
Satan was not mention.
28. Woman likes jollying.
29. Woman is fashion conscious.
30. Woman is material conscious.
31.
Woman wants you to marry her completely so she can have right over your
property, when you divorce her, she will go with 30 or 50% of your
wealth. There is no truly born again woman.
32. Woman cannot do anything perfectly without the help of a man.
33. Woman enjoys telling lies.
34. If you don't take rubbish, please learn to take rubbish before you get married, because woman is full of fun rubbish.
35. Woman like cheating.
36. Woman is a perfect pretender.
37. Bible says you should not give yourself to woman otherwise she will destroy you. ( proverbs 31 vs 3)
38. Woman is shameless.
39. Woman will cause problems between you and your blood relatives
40. Woman take things for granted.
41. Woman finds it difficult to say sorry.
42. Woman finds it difficult to say I love you.
43. Woman doesn't believe she has to love her husband.
44. Woman is easily angry.
45. Woman hardly forgives and forget.
46. Woman can store more than 200 phone numbers in her brain.
47. Woman likes attention.
48. Woman likes gift so much.
49. Woman has no respect.
50. Woman can be very insulting.
51. Woman has shallow understanding.
52. To woman visitation is a business, she expects package whenever she visit your house.
53. Woman is very greedy.
54. Woman likes public opinion.
55. Woman don't like an intelligent man, she likes a man she can cheat.
56. If woman cannot kill you, you are a strong man indeed.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-19 19:03:44

573 Views




during Ramadan period alhaji was praying in th evening to end the day fasting and prayer so he put his food on d table were he was praying a mad man pass through his side and saw the food that was dished,he look around and saw d man praying he just sit down and started eating d man is pointing on him bt d mad man is blinking his eyes on him d man continue his prayer...it get to a stage d man can nt endure it again he went Der and slap d man man immediately d mad man take d food and run away if u are d 1 wht will u do??


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-27 08:36:42

609 Views



End's record [Read it]


On d path to a destined abode
With an already meat to give
Delayed yet must b relayed
But my fears echoes its tune
Out of my solid charisma....why?
Coz i feel that the end is short
To meet up.
But its saddens my heart
As i take d nest for my rest
And dwell in pleasures
But not without a voice
That will not leave me to my fate.
No matter how late it get
I feel a day the starting point
But How do i kick up those weary gears of mine?
As i must not go back unaccomplished
For my records beseech me.








NAIRAJOKES.COM




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A mad man was standing on the Niger
bridge and shouting "44! 44!! 44!!!" A crowd
gradually gathered to watch him. You know
Nigerians sabi look well well. A guy came and
asked one of the people watching, "What is that
mad man saying?" The man replied, "I don't
know!"
The inquisitive guy went ahead to ask the mad
man, "What does '44' mean?" As soon he got close to the mad man, the mad man picked him up and threw him into the ocean and started screaming "45! 45!! 45!!! ."
Omo come see race ..


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-21 14:14:42

285 Views




Santa: I’ve just moved into my new flat and directly below me is a police station.

Banta: So how do you handle coming home late at night after drinking so much?

Santa: You don’t understand. The police station being below, I’m above the law.Related

dont type AMEN [Read it]


please to those who type amen dont type again my friend typed and disappeared any way is shall not b ur portion in jesus name


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-14 13:11:39

426 Views




EPISODE 14

Ishmeal had a busy week during the first
week. He had to call juliet to inform her that
he was present in america with the aid of
pictures and messages. He also had to move
through the strange city in search for a job.

.
.
.
.
.
work is difficult to find mum” he once
complained to his mother when miss cynthia
asked if he has gotten any job. He also had
to go to the school in which he was
admitted, to check out the place and register
himself before loosing any space. During one
of his nights, after a stressed week, he
decided to search for a job on the net.
Fortunatley for him, he saw a young driver
needed by a very wealthy man. Ishmeal was
also fortunate to be within the ages needed.
The salary was also good and he needed to
give it a try. After reading further, he realised
it was the president of “IMEX” who was
requiring for such an employee. IMEX was one
of the biggest company across the world.
They had branches in 90countries across the
continent, they deal in shcools, hospitals,
factories, industries, houses, services and
many others. They also helped the needy
which made them famous. It was a very
powerful organisation known all over the
world.
They behaved asif they were the government
and they had so much authority. It was a
joint stock organinsation and mr mensah
being the head, had 55% share in the
organisation.
.
.
.
.

.
After all these information,
ishmeal didn waste much time the following
morning. He informed his mother he was
leaving to see if something will work out. His
mother prayed that he will find a job soon. He
left the house with his hopes up. He got to the
house only to see a mansion which was
almost like a city and well guarded. ” oh
GOD” he uttered in an amazement.
He wanted to walk back because he felt he
wouldnt get the chance. “I have no
experince in security and i have no driving
certificate. But i have to do this” he said to
himself and entered. He was taken to the
main house which was far from the entrance.
He was offered water when he got there.

People couldnt take their eyes off him because he
turned out to be a black. He was later called
for an interview.
He wasnt assured for a job because he wasnt
a professional driver and he had no
knowledge about security.

A servant came in when the man was asking him the necessary
question. ” the miss will like to speak to him,
herself” the maid whispered to the man.
“Tiana?” the man asked back. The maid
answered yes and they escused ishmeal. He
was seated all alone for a while, he couldnt
help it, he stood up to spy through the
window which was made of glass. Hhhmmm…
Christiana walked in and saw him. He wasnt
aware she was around because he wasnt
facing him. She stood still when she got a
clue that it could be ishmeal. She stood there
for about a minute staring at the guy who
slapped her years ago. ” its him” she said to
herself. Without ishmeals knowledge, tears
began to flow from her eyes. She couldnt
hold it so she turned to walk away when she
heard his voice after a long while. “miss” he
called. Christy stood still but she couldnt
turn…
Will she walk away? Whats going to happen



Teacher: holding a big cane "Why are you so late?"
Akpos: "Someone told me to go to hell."
Teacher: "Why did that make you late to class?"
Akpos: "I couldn't find it at first, but now here I am."



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-04 07:01:24

593 Views




As i was praying, i noticed that Ezekiel opened the door of my room from the kitchen, he opened twice but didn’t enter when he realized i was praying but by the time he came back the third time, i was through. He greeted me, initially i didn’t want to answer but i remembered what Ismaeel always tell me to always try as possible to leave in peace with each other, he always said we must accept individual the way they are and never try to judge anybody.
Ezekiel: Good evening Alfa,
Me: Good evening Ezekiel…
Ezekiel: emmm…emmm, Alfa, am sorry for
Me: Sorry for what Ezekiel, its nothing..i wanted to come and charge my phone before but never knew you had a visitor, i should have been the one to tell you sorry for intruding into your privacy. Am very sorry
Ezekiel: privacy as how..its not the way you think jhoor
Me: okay oo but you need to take it easy Ezekiel
Ezekiel: What will i do now Alfa, if i decided to take it easy and the girls doesn’t want to take it easy with me nko? What will i do?
Me: You have a fiancée, so you need to be satisfied with her..even though i know for sure that the bible will never support fornication but you shouldn’t add adultery to it. Am not judging you Ezekiel because its only God that can judge all of us, but once you decide on one person to date i believe you should stick to it. Even if you are not following the word of God, at least you will think of the repercussion, AIDS is real Ezekiel and there are so many STD’s out there
Ezekiel: I know all this Alfa, that is why there is always condom. The funniest thing is that i didn’t go to her o..she forced herself on me
Me: Even if she try to force herself on you cant you restrict it?
Ezekiel: Its not everything you restrict Alfa, there are some meat that ought to be eaten that once you don’t eat it at that particular time, you will regret it for life
Me: Its not all meat you eat oo…there are some meat that you eat and the bone in it will hang on your throat
Ezekiel: Not like this one alfa..you see why am even here is for me to come and plead to you not to let anybody hear about what you saw tonight Alfa, you know its a thing of shame to her
Me: What is the shame there
Ezekiel: 400level having sex with 200level student, she will never be able to cope with the shame for life as people will definitely mock her if they know about it. That is why am coming to plead to you
Me: when you know its a shameful act why did you indulge in it
Ezekiel: Its one of those things, body will definitely ask for it..Alfa please i don’t want any body to hear about this not even Ismaeel that is your room mate
Me: okay…have heard you but you guys should desist from it because how will your fiancée feel that you are cheating on her
Ezekiel: who is my fiancée? Titi?
Me: Yes now….
Ezekiel: forget it ooo Alfa, Titi is just my school girlfriend, am even looking for a way to ditch her self because she is feeling more comfortable now and have already told her that we wont be staying together this session as i want to concentrate and build my CGPA. Result is coming out now and am in 3rdclass, i want to build it to at least strong second class lower this session and i don’t want any distraction
Me: what about Esther? Wont she be a distraction?
Ezekiel: This one? We have nothing for each other now…..
Me: nothing for each other? No feelings, love or whatsoever
Ezekiel: that is it ooo Alfa, there is nothing of such, she is older than me now…we are only enjoying ourselves. Even if am your brother will you advice me to date someone that is older than me by 3 years?
Me: But you can have sex with someone that is older than you by 3 years Ezekiel….
Ezekiel: Do you know what they call FWB?
Me: Whats FWB?
Ezekiel:its called friends with benefit Alfa..Esther is my friend and the benefit she’s getng from me is that i will be taking her around in my car most times, i will be supporting her financially sometimes while she will always have my comfortability too. The benefit i will derive from her is the sex that she will be giving me at every point in time
Me: but she also has a boyfriend now
Ezekiel: That is how friends with benefits works..to outsiders we are just friends but to us, there are some benefits that are involved. In this kind of game, you don’t care if the other person has a boyfriend or girlfriend, you don’t even care how many they are so far the benefits is mutual, everybody is okay
Me: uhmmmmm….am learning something again today
Ezekiel: That his how it works Alfa…
Me: Oga oo..so, how long has this been going on
Ezekiel: Sincerely, tonight is the first time we will be having sex together, even though we have been eyeing our self for long since last semester ever since i came to this hostel. I noticed that she always seduce me but i didn’t give it a face initially, Titi was the one spoiling all the show and it got to a stage that it caused serious problem and led to fight that mummy settled for us
Me: Fight? In this hostel?
Ezekiel: Yes f course, you are not around that time..so, it has always been like that, even that day they fought i was having the mind to make an attempt on her before Titi walked in and wahala started. Ever since then i have been looking for opportunity but there has never been chance, its either people are home or something and you know this kind of thing is always done codedly
Me: i don’t know ooo..how will i know
Ezekiel: so all we have always been doing all this while was just to press breast, kiss and all sort but we realized house was dry today and decided to go the full but what we have been running for eventually happened…..
Me: all in all, what you are doing is not god and you need to stop it
Ezekiel: I will stop but Alfa i want you to help us keep this as a secret..please for Allah sake
Me: Mo ti gbo….nobody go hear am from me
Ezekiel: even Ismaeel ooo
Me: Nobody will hear it from my mouth i promise
Ezekiel: You promise Alfa..
Me: yes or are you doubting me?
Ezekiel: uhmmmmm Alfa
Me: Okay, i swear by this holy quran (pick the quran and held it) that nobody will hear it from me not even Ismaeel
Ezekiel: Thank you so much Alfa
Me: You are welcome and you still need to desist from fornication and adultery Ezekiel, its not good please…
Ezekiel: have heard you Alfa…..
Ezekiel stood up and went back to his room, i thought he has gone until he opened my room again and this time around he came in with Esther


>>

EPISODE 3

He didn’t feel any fear as he drove into the
compound. The fear of her confrontation
about why he’d ignored her calls was
expected but it didn’t manifest. His mind
overflowed with bliss, strange but lovely.
He whistled as he parked his car. He came
down with a foreign poise, jiggling his car
keys.
Cynthia’s car, a dark blue Camry, was
parked at a corner.
He asked Okon how long his madam had
been around.
Referring to her as madam came out a bit
uneasy this time. There has a been a
happening, one capable of reversing titles.
‘E done tey, Oga,’ Okon said, his lips
pinched out in the characteristic way he
spoke.
‘When exactly?’
The short man scratched his head. ‘
Erm…erm…Oga, e done tey o. It has really
really tey.’
He resigned to a sigh and walked upstairs,
Okon tagging along with his traveler’s bag.
He drew back the curtain and met sudden
raucousness.
The speakers blared with Omawumi’s voice
as she begged to be given bottom belle so
that she would cool her heart.
Stella, their live-in maid, was at the centre
of the room, twisting this way and that in
frenzy as she tried to move her huge self to
the rhythm of the song.
The AC was on but the sweat poured off her
like one drenched in rain. The remote in her
right hand towered above her head while
her other hand held her wide skirt together
as she hihi and hehe’d to the song.
She only realized their presence when Oga
turned the player off.
She jolted. ‘Welcome, Oga.’ She raised her
shirt to wipe sweat from her face. Oga
could see the washed-out bra that held her
bounteous bosoms in place.
‘Where is your Madam?’
‘She went out, sir.’
‘Without her car?’
‘She said she need walking.’
‘Need walking?’
‘Yes, nee…need to walk.’
‘Needed to walk.’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘For whatever reason would she?’
‘Oga?’
‘Take the bag from Okon.’
‘Ok, sir.’
As Okon transferred the bag to her, they
exchanged expressions, the quick and silent
facial communication that was common to
servants. It looked like one rebuked the
other while the one being rebuked did to
mean she didn’t care.
Cynthia returned an hour later. She was
breathing heavily as she entered the sitting
room.
Richard lowered his paper and sat up on
the couch.
‘Where have you been?’
‘Went walking and I just ran up the stairs.’
‘You are exercising at this time?’
She worked out a lot and it had given her
that desirable trim body that any woman
would kill for.
‘Not really. Dr. Hope said I shouldn’t be
going heavy for now anyway. But I really
can’t sacrifice all my efforts.’
‘Dr. Hope? You went to the clinic?’
‘Yes.’ That came out with a gasp.
She flopped down on the couch, curled
round him and kissed his cheek.
‘She said I’m three weeks gone.’
He was sure he has heard a statement like
that before, in the movies maybe, but he
struggled now to decipher what she meant.
Cynthia’s face had lit up in glee. Her whole
dentition showed in a large smile. It wasn’t
often that she smiled like that.
‘Baby, what do you mean?’ he asked.
She slapped his shoulder lightly.
‘Come on, I’m pregnant.’
He momentarily blanked out. His fingers on
her thighs felt numb.
But then he recovered. And slowly his mind
settled and he understood what Cynthia’s
pregnancy meant, that it wasn’t something
to be scared of now. Not like Chidimma’s
when he was 16. Now he is a man and can
take responsibility.
A picture of a cute baby formed in his
mind, pink toothless gums showing in a
jerky baby smile.
A smile crept onto his face and soon the
excitement spread over him like smoke in a
room, shutting off all that were his earlier
thoughts.
He hugged her tight. ‘Baby, we gonne have
a baby.’ He was smiling.
Cynthia nodded promptly, holding him
tightly back.
‘A baby, can you believe that!’
She kissed his shoulder and nodded again.
From behind the separating wall of the
dining room, Stella pitched a long hiss and
entered the kitchen.
She would not add salt or pepper or Maggi
to whatever she was going to make that
evening, whatever ingredient that’d make
the food less tasty.

Watch Out For Episode 4 Tomorrow

>>

When a pregnant woman suffers organ damage (like a heart attack), the foetus will send stem cells to repair the damaged organ.Related

stupid American [Read it]


An American man walked into a restaurant in
London. As soon as he
entered, he noticed an African man (black),sitting
in one corner.
He walked over to the counter, removed his wallet
and shouted, "Waiter! I am buying food for everyone in this
restaurant, except
that black guy over there!
"The waiter collected the money and began
serving free food to everyone in the restaurant,
except the African. Instead of becoming upset, the black man simply
looked up at the
American and shouted, "Thank you!"
This infuriated the American. So once again, he
took out his wallet
and shouted, "Waiter! This time I am buying bottles of wine and
additional food for everyone in this bar, except for
that African sitting in the corner over there!"The
waiter collected the money
from the man and began serving free food and
wine to everyone in the bar except the African.
When the waiter finished serving the food and
drinks, the African
simply smiled at the American man and
said,"Thank you!"That made
the American furious. So he leaned over the counter and asked the waiter, "What is wrong
with that black man? I have bought food
and drinks for everyone in this bar except for him,
and instead of
becoming angry, he just sits there, smiles at me
and shouts 'Thank you.' Is he mad?"The waiter smiled at the
American and said, "No, he
is not mad. He is the OWNER of this restaurant.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-10 10:30:11

279 Views



Buba is that u? [Read it]


A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn comes in to take a piss. Well, the man cant help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised, "bubba, whats your secret?" Bubba says"well, every night before i go to get in bed with a woman i whack my dick on the bedpost three times." So the man decides to try it that very night. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says"bubba, is that you?"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-22 21:48:48

1108 Views




Walk on your path;

Love in your own way;

Talk in your own words;

Do what your heart says;

And then one day, the world will say, it’s your day!
Good Morning!Related

Akpos and Esther were to get married in one week. 


Two days to their wedding, Esther decides to stay in Akpos's house. In the middle of the night, Akpos got aroused and started touching Esther's breasts. 


Esther got angry and told Akpos to stop saying, "My body is the temple of the lord." 


And just when she thought it was over, Akpos answered saying, "Then let me worship there."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-16 19:38:22

247 Views



the best stress [Read it]


TEACHER: Who can make a sentence with the word STRESS?


MARY: You are causing me more STRESS.


JOHN: I hate STRESS.


AKPOS: Yesterday I saw our teacher and our headmiSTRESS making love in her office.


The Teacher fainted!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-22 14:38:16

233 Views



dog human face [Read it]


if you wake up in the nd find this typ of dog in ur compound,What will you do?








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-29 09:32:54

1190 Views



MARA episode 23 [Read it]


IS IT A MAN’S HELP YOU NEED NOW OR GOD’S?
I heard that down within me but I could say nothing!
I didn’t know how to pray
I didn’t know how to start bringing my allegations against God!
I didn’t know anything!
Nothing at all!
But I felt it deep within me that he could hear me…something told me with all assurance that He wasn’t deaf!
I became quiet and waited
The piano played on sweetly accompanied by the sonorous voice of the pianist
I must tell Jesus!
I must tell Jesus all of my troubles
He is a kind compassionate friend
If I but ask him, he would deliver,
make all my troubles quickly an end.
My heart became swollen within me with every word of the stanza
“I really must tell Jesus” I repeated on and on, my voice waning and fading as I spoke.
My eyes were still shut tightly and my voice scratchy
“If I only ask you, You will deliver Oh Lord…I ask you oh Lord!…I ask you Lord!” I repeated again, my heart’s burden outpouring
WHAT DO YOU ASK FOR? WHAT?
I heard that clearly too
Obviously, the Holy Spirit must be praying for me as it is written of Him in Romans 8:26 because hearing those spiritual suggestions sounded surreal to me
What exactly do I really want?
I wanted a lot of things but I had learnt that in asking anything from the Lord, specificity was key!
I’d got to specify
What do I want oh Lord?
I started crying again.
What was I supposed to ask for?
Hannah’s only problem was barrenness and reproach attached to it and she couldn’t voice out her prayers but could only moaned because of the abundance of bitterness in her heart.
What about me ?
What do I have to say?
That my husband be normalized?
What if he does something worse to me afterwards?
That my children be great?
What if I die and …oh my! What was I supposed to say oh Lord?
The piano started another tune and my heart was overwhelmed in quietness again
“Just as I am- though tossed about
With many a conflict, many a doubt
Fightings and fears within, without
Oh lamb of God, I come, I come!
Oh yes I come Lord!
With many conflicts….down in my life, my heart, my family, my all!
With many doubt in my heart…a lot of them Lord!
I have fightings within me and a great fear lurking around me…
Oh I come…. I come Lord!
I cried out the more
What do you want exactly?
It was precise again and oh yes, what do I want?
The piano started again with the great voice
“I will never let you go, except you bless me…” the voice started again and I accompanied it
If the person couldn’t hear me or couldn’t see me, I didn’t know- I couldn’t say!
All I knew was that whatever it was that he was doing right on the altar was speaking to me too….
The wordings of the song were Jacob’s words
I could remember that story too!
Jacob fought with an angel….he fought!
BUT HE DIDN’T FIGHT AIMLESSLY, DID HE?
The voice asked again and I shook my head
That was so true…but what was his request ?
HE PUSHED!
I heard again
Pushed?
PRAY UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS- PUSH!
I heard it so deeply in my heart and I was aroused in my heart
“Lord, I’ve got to Pray Until your Spirit Hovers over me” I heard the voice of the pianist too
Was he pushing too?
PRAY UNTIL SATAN HUSHES!
I heard again
Oh my goodness!
That’s the key!
The devil had to just hush and stp the nonsense he had been doing in my life and family.
He’d got to stop!
Teach me to pray Lord!
Help me labor in prayer and until something happens, don’t let me leave Lord!
I am ready to push!
“From today, your name shall no longer be called Jacob but Israel…” those words came like a spire on my ears and I smiled like a warrior that had found out the Achilles’ heels of his opponent.
I now know what to say!
A change of name!
That was all I needed!
“Oh Lord, I am Glory…Ogooluwa is my name. you made me gloriously and anything contrary to Glory in my life isn’t your will for me dear savior”
I swallowed


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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What Is The Meaning Of Lund?



Ek Danda Jiske Niche Do Anda,



Shikaar Karke Hi Hota Hai Thanda,



Ye Hi Hai Purusho Ka Jhanda.Related

D Thief [Read it]


1day Akpors Enter His Mum Room And Make A Try To Steal Money Is His Mummy Purse. As Her Mummy Enter D Room She Saw Akpors Stealing Her Money And Head Up 2 Tell Akpors Father. As She Get There She Tell Akpors Father Dat Akpors Steal Her Money, Akpors Father Now Call Akpors And Ask Him Dat It Is True Dat He Steal Money From His Mummy Purse. Akpors Just Turn And Say Daddy Its A Lie O, I Didnt Steal Her Money O, I Just Take Money Inside Her Purse And I Didnt Have Intention Of Telling Anybody. Akpors Father Say Yes U See Now, I Tell U Dat Akpors Cant Steal Ur Money He May Just Take Witout Having Plan 2 Tell Anybody. Wat Can I Call Akpors For Dis?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-03 16:30:55

929 Views



TROUBLE [Read it]


One day i was in a bus o iwant find trouble i pick my phone and say dat where will i press dat d bomb will explode now na him d yoruba man say driver u no dey wetin dis man dey say d igbo man too pick his phone and called abuchi dat collect d money cause am going to die na him d hausa man say where did dey tell u make u press cause my own too dey here i open d window and jump out.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-20 08:47:51

549 Views




I was in my room that friday evening a
week after our exams when my phone
began to ring. The number wasn’t familiar
but I decided to pick.
Who knows, it could be a potential client
or someone important. “Hello good
evening,” I greeted on picking the call.
“Am I speaking with Linda Ezeagbo?” A
baritone voice asked from the other end
of the line.
“Yes you’re,” I replied.
“Ok its Mr Ofoegbu on the line. Meet me
at lomalinda hotel by 7pm on the dot.”
Then he hung up. Mr Ofoegbu was the
lecturer who had asked me to put down
my phone number on a white piece of
paper.
I looked at my wrist watch and it was ten
minutes past six. I hurried into the
bathroom, took a quick bath, came out,
put on one very short mini skirt with a top
that revealed the whole of my cleavage
and zoomed off. Lomalinda hotel was
about twenty minutes drive from my
hostel but then I first branched to an ATM
to collect some money before going
because all the expenses that would
emanate from the visit was probably
going to be on my head.
I got to the hotel around five minutes to
seven and dialled Mr Ofoegbu’s number.
“Come to room 901,” he informed on
picking.
I hurried over to the room and knocked
on the door. “Come in,” a baritone voice
replied from inside.
I opened the door and stepped in. Mr
Ofoegbu was lying naked on the bed. His
joystick stood erect asif saying welcome to
me.
“Lock the door and join me,” he directed. I
locked the door behind me, took off my
clothes and joined him on the bed. He
instantly grabbed my b00bs and began to
suck my n!ppl€s hungrily.
“Stop, Stop,” I cried cutting him short and
surprising him at the same time. “Are you
promising me an “A” in your course?” I
asked looking him directly in the eye. “Yes
yes,” he gasped with uncontrolled desire.
“Are you sure?” I asked to be sure that the
deal has been sealed.
“Yes I’m sure,” he replied.
I slowly parted my legs for him and he
thrust in his joystick into my wet pu$$¥
with all the energy his loins could muster.
For close to 30minutes he bounced up
and down and in and out of me until he
started groaning like a bull and ejaculated
inside.
Alas the deal was sealed and I eagerly
expected an “A” in that course.

>> Episode 6 -

Don’t aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally.

-David FrostRelated

A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, “Is there a problem, Officer?”

“No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a Safe Driver Award. Congratulations, what do you think you’re going to do with the prize money?”

He thought for a minute and said, “Well, I guess I’ll go get that drivers’ license.”

The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, “Oh, don’t pay attention to him, he’s a smartass when he’s drunk and stoned.”

The guy from the back seat said, “I told you guys we wouldn’t get far in a stolen car!”

At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, “Are we over the border yet?”Related

DUCK HUNTER [Read it]


A big city lawyer
went duck hunting
in rural North
Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell
into a farmer's field on the other
side of a fence. As the lawyer
climbed over the fence, an elderly
farmer drove up on his tractor and
asked him what he was doing.The litigator responded, "I shot a duck
and it fell in this field, and now I'm
going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my
property, and you are not coming
over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am
one of the best trial attorneys in
New Zealand and, if you don't let
me get that duck, I'll sue you and
take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how
we settle disputes in North
Wairarapa. We settle small
disagreements like this with the
'Three Kick Rule.'"
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well,
because the dispute occurs on my
land, I get to go first. I kick you
three times and then you kick me
three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up." The
attorney quickly thought about the
proposed contest and decided that
he could easily take the old
codger. He agreed to abide by the
local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed
down from the tractor and walked
up to the attorney.
His first kick planted the toe of his
heavy steel toed work boot into
the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent
the lawyer's last meal gushing
from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when
the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a
fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit
of his will and remaining strength
and very slowly managed to get to
his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay,
you old fart. Now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said,
"Nah, I give up. You can have the
duck."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-31 23:39:56

423 Views




Good Morning!!!

Did you know the key to success is to do what you love most.

Have been neglected by so many people, but picked up by some other people "What does that mean" #Smile# "dat means if one does not appreciate your effort, some others will" Never Loose Hope. There is a word I believe in, which is #FAITH#, I ain't rich but far from poverty, I believe in one tin, which is #BE WHAT YOU ARE#, God has given evri1 in dis life 1 or 2 Talent, do not imitate others (positive aspect), because that same person you want to imitate might be looking up to you as a role model.

Stay Blessed, and have a Peaceful day ahead


Happy Sunday!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Akpors died and went to heaven so he took permission from God to attend his funeral.
Reaching there he saw his mother,father,mother & father in-aw,brothers,sisters,friends and wife crying so he felt pity inside him.
After the end of the funeral everybody left remaining his wife and best-friend so akpors came closer to hear what she is saying...
WIFE: Thank God for a wonderful day like this.. I wish you had died long time ago cause you made me to sleep with the native doctor for 1 week when i told you i want to see my parents, you made me to go to the strongest native doctor to collect charm to put in your food which i tried over four times but notin happened, i also put charm in ur car engine hoping to see u die bt God saved you.. I have attacked you every night but you didnt die. Ur friend here helpd me to hire killers to assinate you bt they didnt find you.. Now am getting married with your friend in 3weeks time.. GOODBYE LOVELY HUSBAND AKPORS...
If you were akpors what will you do?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-03 13:39:05

437 Views




Ladkiyo ke pas scooty honi chahiye dosto

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Paidal to wo dimag se bhi hoti hain ;));pRelated

7:am tired

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10:pm tired

Time to go to bed: Full of energy. ????Related

Its been close to three months in our first semester 400level, even though i promised myself that i will change but i never did, i always try to fight it but something always push me to go and drink with Bode and visit coca-cola with my regular customer peace. There was this particular afternoon i was coming back from school, i got to my door and the door was locked, i checked where we use to put our key but it was not there either “aww, Nimat has gone with the house key” we only have one key now because i lost the other one long time again and we never made another duplicate. Luckily for me Ezekiel was home, i knock on his door, he opened and there he was with a visitor, i told him that i was not in with my key and was thinking of entering my room through the kitchen if my kitchen door is not locked.
Thank God the kitchen door was not locked so i entered from there and Ezekiel locked his own kitchen door. I was feeling so pressed upon coming home and wanted to take my bath too, since Nimat was not home, i decided to pull off my cloth including my boxer in the room, my deek was dangling in between my leg, i headed straight to the bathroom, i opened the door and there was my sister inside the bathroom stack unclad without even putting on anything (Not even a bra and pant), the moment i pushed the door open, i just stood there without knowing what to do for like 30 seconds, the same thing with her too.
She quickly closed the door after regaining her consciousness, i dress up back open the door from behind and stepped out of the room, i couldn’t do what i wanted to do again as i decided to go and chill somewhere.
I took bike to lick fingers, took 3 bottles of star, i couldn’t help but think about what i saw earlier, i love what i saw and in my mind, i was like, how i wish she is not my sister, i would have known what to do at that particular moment. After taking the fourth one, i decided to call it a day and headed home, i got home, knock on the door, she asked who was there and i told her i was the one, she opened after hearing my voice, there she was standing in front of me, i slammed the door, she turned back, i drag her back with my hand, press her to my chest and before she could say anything i placed my mouth on her lips and started kissing her. I held her so tight moved her to the wall and pin her there, my mouth was holding her lips and i inserted my hand through her shirt, she was putting on just leggings and top when i came in (Ordinarily before, anytime i came in and she was in that way, she will go and put on her jalamia and hijab instantly once am back but i didn’t allow her this time around).
Nimat was not even putting on bra, i started fondling her breast inside her cloth and after a while i dig my hand inside her leggings, she wasn’t wearing pant either, initially she closed her laps together but i was able to find my way inside her pusssy with my hand, i was surprised she was wet and even thought maybe she just wash her private part or something…immediately i put my hand, i started digging so hard inside her with my two middle fingers, my right fingers was still inside her pusssy as i rounded her up with my left hand and guided her to the bed, this gave me the opportunity of having total access to her pussssy..i released my mouth from her lips and she was already moaning “rahman” “rahman” “rahman please” i dint know if she was crying or not but she was squeezing her face at the same time. I used my left hand to pull down her leggings to the ankle while i also unbutton her shirt after which i removed the leggings from one of her leg. I brought out my deek and started fuccking her, i lasted for like 30minutes after which i felt i was tired.
I stood up from the bed and laid beside her unclad, i had off my cloth and removed her shirt too during the interval, it was only the legging that was on one part of her ankle. She shifted totally to the wall as i don’t even know what to do, i started thinking, was it alcohol? Was i drunk when i came in? Definitely no because i knew what i was doing, it was the sight of what i saw earlier in the day that sent signal to my deek and i couldn’t control myself again when i saw her but why didn’t she run away when i held her? She could have pushed me away now, come to think of it, Nimat was not even a virgin, so guys have been fucccking her despite the fact i always look at her like a virgin? I was able to penetrate inside her and my big deek entered fully without even touching her stomach, even Aminat pusssy that was so wide, at least i was able to touch her stomach with my deek…
I was on my thought when she faced me, i thought she was crying before but hell No, she wasn’t. “why did you do this to me Rahman? Why did you commit this atrocity? Why did you commit this sacrilege? Why did you commit this taboo? What kind of ear will hear this? What do you think will become of our parent when they hear of this? You even did it without condom, what if i get pregnant with what you just did, what will happen? You were drunk, when did you start drinking? Why did you go and drink? Why? Why did you do this to me rahman?

To Be Continued...

Read Episode 46

Desmond: Stephie;Stephie;(he got to the place)what are you doing?let her go
Boy 2:why should we?
Desmond: stop it before i call the police
Boy 1: don't even think of that;go ahead man(to the boy 2)
Desmond: then you have to go through me(they fought and fought)
Stephanie: stop it;stop
Desmond: run;just go away
Stephanie: i can't leave you with they
Desmond: i said leave;just go(she run and return with a stick and hit one on the head)what are you doing here?i told you to run
Stephanie: i can't just leave you here(police blow siren)Desmond,don't worry;police is coming
Boy 2:guy lets go;is like the police is coming(they ran away)

Desmond: were you hurt?
Stephanie: no;i should be the one asking you
Desmond: i am fine;is just a little cut
Stephanie: let me look for someone to help us
Desmond: you don't have to;i can still walk
Stephanie: alright
Desmond: shall we(she couldn't move)are you sure you are okay?
Stephanie: yes;am fine after you(she still couldn't move and fall to the ground)
Desmond: Stephie;Stephie please wake up don't do this to me;your cloth is torn(he pull his shirt and put it on her and carry her back to his place)open the gate young man (he hit the gate)
Gateman: boss;welcome;was wrong with her?i hope she is fine
Desmond: don't worry she is fine(he enter the main sitting room and put her on the couch)Tunde;please help me with a glass of water
Ayo: i was scared;i thought you couldn't find her;so you went to house and how did you get that cut on your hand
Desmond: is nothing;please take care of Stephie for me
Anita: you are keeping everyone in suspense
Tina: yes;tell us and what what happen to her?
Desmond: okay;i have a fight with two boys who tired to rape Stephie
Anita: what?my baby(she take Stephanie hand)i am sorry
Alfred: and were is your shirt?
Desmond: is on Stephie;let me go and get the first aid
Tina: don't worry;i will go get it myself
Desmond: thank you(exit Tina)please take a bowl and warm water to clean her body
Anita: don't worry will do it(enter Tina)
Desmond: thank you for been a good friend
Anita: i should be the one thanking you
Tina: here it is. let me help you clean the wound
Desmond: okay thanks
Tina: (as she clean the wound she talk in her mind)oh my God!i wish i am the one in Stephanie shoe,that he show love and affection to,i will be very happy because i know he is in love with her already;oh God he is such a cutie boy and a kind heart too(she stared at him)man;i will do anything just to have you and not even Georgina will stop me
Desmond: are you done?(he tap her)
Tina: sure;i am done
Desmond: thank you;you are such a darling. how is she now(to Anita)
Tina: you are always welcome(exit Tina)
Anita: she is still sleeping but don't worry;she will be fine
Desmond: i know;i have put her into a lot of stress just today
Anita: you don't have to blame yourself for everything
Desmond: i have to because its all my fault
Anita: is alright;stop torturing yourself
Desmond: i have heard you
Anita: where are the others?(to Ann)
Ann: they are upstair
Desmond: let me go and wear something;i will be back
Ann: alright;please wait;so that we go together
Desmond: what about you?
Anita: no;i will stay with her
Tina: are you sure
Anita: you should all go ahead(exit Desmond/Ann/Tina)Stephie;please open your eyes and tell me;you are alright(she turned and talk with her closed)
Stephanie: thank you Desmond for saving my life;i hold my life to you,i will forever be grateful to you. i love you Desmond
Anita: oh my God!so Stephie is in love with Desmond(enter Desmond)i just hope he feel.....
Desmond: Anita;how is she doing?(she was still in shock of what heard)Anita;are you alright(he tap her)
Anita: sure;i am okay is just that what she was saying in her sleep that surprise me
Desmond: what did she say
Anita: she said she in...no;that she have..no
Desmond: young woman;so you don't remember what she said
Anita: yes;i don't remember
Desmond: alright;you don't have to force yourself
Ayo: are you alright baby?
Anita: yes;i am fine(enter Brown)
Brown: you all are not sleeping?its already passed twelve. is there any problem?
Desmond: no there is non and why are you not sleeping?
Brown: you know i always clean the house in the evening,is just that I slept off and i just wake up,so i decided to come and clear it
Anita: don't worry we will do it
Brown: okay thank you but why is Stephanie sleeping on the sofa?
Alfred: nothing;she is just tired
Brown: i hope she is not sleeping all alone in the sitting room?if she is;let me take her to my room
Desmond: don't worry she will sleep in my room
Tunde: your room?
Desmond: do you have a problem with that?
Tunde: no
Brown: okay;take care all. goodnight
All: good night
Alfred: do you think she will not get scared when she wakes and find herself in her
Desmond: i know but i just can't allow her sleep here but don't worry i will sleep here then she will sleep in my room
Alfred: are you alright?but are you okay sleeping in here?
Anita: she is afraid of the dark and she like to sleep close to people
Desmond: she is afraid of the dark?
Ann: yes;she did not tell you?

Desmond: what do we do now because i can't share same bed with her
Ayo: then let one of the girls sleep with her
Alfred: that is a good ideal
Ayo: baby will you sleep by her side(TO Anita)please;since she is closer to you
Anita: is fine by me
Tina: no;don't worry;i will sleep with her since both of us have always been sharing same room before,so it wouldn't look strange when she wakes up
Ann: you right;i think we should walk with that
Tosan: there is a little problem
Tosin: which is?
Tosan: we all know that Tina sleep like a dead man what if she wakes up and need something;who will help her?knowing fully well that she haven't eaten

Anita: that is true and Desmond you haven't eaten also
Tunde: that is true;will you eat anything?
Desmond: is already late;is almost one in the morning and i am not hungry. you all should just ahead and sleep
Ann: who else should stay with her?
Anita: it should be a boy this time
Tosan: why not Tunde?since Tunde is Tina's boyfriend
Tunde: what?no way
Anita: why not?
Desmond: don't worry;i will sleep at the sofa in my room
Alfred: that settle it then;good night all,everyone go to your room
Ann: you are saying everyone to your room;do we have rooms here?
Alfred: you know what i mean. baby lets go(Desmond carried Stephanie to his room)
Desmond: should in case;you want to easy yourself that is the toilet over there
Tina: thank you(she lie on the bed)good night
Desmond: good night(he lie on the sofa)(few hours later she wakes up to check on Stephanie unknown to him that Tina is awake)baby;i am sorry;will you be able to forgive me for hurting you(to sleeping Stephanie)if you can't will understand because my action;would have made those boys rape you(he take her hand)i am really sorry(he touches her lips and Tina coughed)are you alright?
Tina: yes;i am fine
Desmond: are you sure?should i get you a glass of water?
Tina: yes;i am fine,no thanks. why are you not sleeping?
Desmond: nothing;is just that i can't sleep
Tina: you keep thinking about her
Desmond: yes but something is disturbing me. i just can't figure it out
Tina: your feelings?
Desmond: feeling about who?
Tina: (she talk to herself) if i tell him;that he love her and he said yes;is one thing i can't take. let me look for something else to say


Desmond: young woman;what is it?
Tina: oh!what i meant is that;you have this fear in your feelings,that when she wakes up,she might not forgive you
Desmond: yes;do you think;she will forgive me?
Tina: she will;she has a good heart. didn't she forgive you when you break her heart?
Desmond: that is different because she wasn't really dating me
Tina: what?you mean she know about the bet?
Desmond: um..uh...that is not what i meant;what i mean is Stephie already knows that i have a bet on her before she accepted me,not from my mouth but from someone else
Tina: then why did she accepted it?
Desmond: that is one thing,i can't tell now
Tina: alright then
Desmond: hey just go ahead and sleep because it has been a long night
Tina: okay;good night
Desmond: (he return to the couch)goodnight (the next morning)

Tina: good morning
Desmond: good morning;how was your night
Tina: it was fine and stressful
Desmond: i am sorry for keeping you away from Tunde
Tina: is nothing;if you were in his shoe;you will do same for him
Desmond: anyway;thank you;i know you will like to spend time with Tunde;so you can go
Tina: hey are you sending me away
Desmond: no;why should i send you away?is just that i was thinking since it is already morning;you will like to....
Tina: is still early;is only five in the morning;don't worry i will leave. i understand you want to talk to her
Desmond: is not that;i didn't realise it was this early because you did wake up so early
Tina: that is how i normally wake but Stephanie she wakes up even earlier than i
Desmond: is that so?
Tina: she didn't tell you?
Desmond: no
Tina: when does wake up;she will always pray for everyone especially her sister because they are the alone thing she have
Desmond: what about her parents?
Tina: they are dead
Desmond: what?
Tina: she didn't tell you and you guys are dating?
Desmond: no;she...(Stephanie coughed)is like she want to wakes up
Stephanie: Tina;Tina(she touch the bed)where are you(she open her eyes)
Tina: i am here
Stephanie: i didn't see you on the bed
Tina: is just that i wake up early. how are you?
Stephanie: i am fine. lets pray(they pray)how come you went hone with me again?
Tina: no;we did not go home,we stay in Desmond's house
Stephanie: what?who brought me back here?
Tina: it was Desmond;when you lost consciousness
Stephanie: sorry;now i remember(enter Desmond)i remember everything
Desmond: how are you?
Stephanie: i am fine;thanks for saving my life. i want to start going home
Desmond: you don't have to go now. you haven't eaten and you didn't eat anything last night
Stephanie: don't worry;when i get home,i will prepared something to eat(he hold her arm)please let go of me,i want to(she back him)

Desmond: are you still mad at me(he turned her face to himself)please tell me instead of avoiding me

Stephanie: will you stop(Tina cough and they both turned)Tina
Tina: i am sorry excuse me
Stephanie: where are you going?you don't have to. there is no privacy
Tina: if you say so(she sat at the couch)
Stephanie: i am not mad at you. so can i go now?



READ MORE......


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Alfred: whoa!this house is scenting nice
Desmond: the only thing on your head is the aroma of food
Alfred: what will i be thinking?am i married?do i have kids?none of them;so let me enjoy myself now that i am young
Desmond: Tunde;what is eating you up?
Tunde: nothing
Alfred: sure
Tunde: of cause
Alfred: i need a glass of water
Tunde: are you sure is a glass of water you need?
Alfred: am sure;cause i don't have anything on my mind that i want to pour
Desmond: Alfred;don't start
Alfred: what?you know are really brothers;that is why you behave a like
Desmond: are you okay
Alfred: hundred percent
Tunde: i know;i got drunk but i don't know what i did that is making Tina mad at me
Alfred: you don't remember anything
Tunde: yes;the only thing i remember is that aunt asked me;what is going on and the next thing i saw myself on my bed

Desmond: if you don't remember anything;then why do you feel something happen?
Tunde: i can feel it because Tina is ignoring me;she is not picking up my calls;she doesn't seems like she want to talk to me
Desmond: maybe because you got drunk
Tunde: am not sure
Desmond: then find out from her
Tunde: how can i do that when she doesn't want to talk to me
Alfred: (he returned with a glass of water)i know why
Tunde: then tell me
Desmond: Alfred;you are not in position to tell him
Tunde: don't mind him;just tell me

Alfred: you said you are in love with Stephanie and that you hurt her because felt Desmond is going to take her away from you;you said you a lot of things but this is the most important ones;i can pick and you said then in front of Tina
Tunde: i really said those evil words in front of her?
Alfred: yes;you even have to tell her you are celebrating her love for Desmond and your love for Stephanie
Tunde: and i even have to drag my brother in to it;am sorry Desmond(Alfred phone rung)i don't know what came over me
Alfred: i got to go;my phone is ringing,you really have to apologies to her;am sure she will listen

Tunde: i really wrong Tina;i have to beg for her forgiveness
Desmond: if you really love her do that but if you don't just let it go Tunde: i do
Anita: young lady;you have a visitor
Tina: i don't want to see anybody
Tosan: even Tunde
Tina: especially him
Tunde: i am sorry Tina;if i offended you with my words
Tosan: did you two have an issue
Tunde: not really
Tina: did you just say not really?then fine;there is no issue why are you apologizing?

Tunde: fine;there is but is not a big deed
Anita: what happen
Tina: tell them what happen
Tunde: must we tell everyone our issues
Tina: they are no stranger to me
Tosan: he said he is sorry then forgive him
Tina: i can't forgive him when he is still in love with Stephanie
Anita: you are crazy(to Tina)why are you dragging the poor girl name into this
Tina: asked him;he said he is in love with her
Tubde: i did said so but i was drunk
Anita: he was drunk and said all that so he is more or less like a mad man that says foolish things
Tina: you are giving excuses for him
Tunde: forgive me;it will never happen again
Tina: i will forgive you just this once;if it happen again don't blame me again
Tunde: i will;thank you very much

Jackson: good morning all;we are introducing a new product into our business;we will be advertising a building not just the building but also everything in it and what make it a good one. we all should put in our best because if it comes out very well,we will all benefit from this project and it will encourage others to call us for their advertising of sales. so i will like to open the floor in order to create idea of how it will work out fine. so any idea
Frank: why don't we all go home and give it a thought in order for us to come out with a good idea
Jackson: do the rest of us agree with him
Frank: sure;we do agreed or am i not speaking the mind of everyone
Musa: yes;i think we should
All: yes;we do
Jackson: fine;since there is a consensus that will be all for now and end of the meeting




Tina was no longer comfortable with the fact that Tunde is still in love with Stephanie. even when she try to convince herself that Tunde said those things because he was drunk. she was still suspicious and she was looking for avenue to catch him red handed and confirm her suspicion,the day she find out the truth that was the same Georgina realised that Desmond is in love with Stephanie and it was that same day that Desmond and Stephanie went missing and that is the happiness day of his mother life. let see how the day ones son went missing turn out to be her happiness day


Stephanie: hey
Desmond: hi;how are you?
Stephanie: am fine;where is Tunde
Desmond: he is at home
Stephanie: what is he doing at home?didn't he have classes?
Desmond: no;he doesn't
Stephanie: alright;when you get home extend my greeting to him
Desmond: i will but why are you so concern about him
Stephanie: is he not my friend?shouldn't i be concern about him?
Desmond: you should but your concern is so strong
Tina: who are you two talking about
Desmond: is no one
Stephanie: don't mind him,his Tunde;i just answer after him
Tina: why were you asking after him?
Stephanie: what is wrong with both of you?is he not my friend
Ann: don't mind them;they are just been jealous of you two
Tina: why should i be jealous of her?when she doesn't have anyone attracted to her
Ann: what is wrong with you?
Stephanie: are you going to start calling me names all in the name of jokes
Tina: who is joking with you?you substitute
Stephanie: what?
Desmond: come off it;lets go(to Stephanie and Tina laughed) what is the laughter all about
Ann: are you okay
Tina: am fine;am just kidding. am not saying all this things because i am angry at you;am saying then because there was a movie i see at the cinema;that a girl was using those words on a girl that her boyfriend is in love with
Desmond: then what are you driving out
Stephanie: i understand crazy you
Ann: bye you two
Stephanie: bye(exit Tina/Ann)Tina is such a drama queen and you why are you looking at her like that?do you like her?
Desmond: no i don't;you know me better;i don't like loudmouth girls
Stephanie: tell me when you eventually fall in love with her
Desmond: that is never going to happen
Stephanie: what do you mean by that?
Desmond: i meant nothing;i just don't like her
Stephanie: you can stop me here. that is my hostel
Desmond: the one with brown color
Stephanie: sure
Desmond: don't you want me to come with you?
Stephanie: no
Desmond: why don't you want me to....
Stephanie: nothing
Desmond: if nothing then let me cone in
Stephanie: fine;my room is dirty and my course mate want to visit me
Desmond: are you sure
Stephanie: yes
Desmond: alright;take care and be careful with Tina
Stephanie: what?don't worry;i and Tina are fine now
Desmond: i didn't say that both of you have problems;am just telling you to be careful
Stephanie: fine;i will take care
Desmond: bye

Georgina: where did that friend of yours went to?
Ayo: don't worry;am sure he will soon be here
Georgina: but it seems he is taking the entire day
Tunde: hey man;where have you been
Desmond: i just drop Stephanie at her house
Tunde: her new place
Desmond: yes
Georgina: did i hear you right,you two are friends again
Desmond: yes;we all have but our difference aside
Georgina: what do you mean we
Desmond: what i meant is that Tunde as also made up with her
Georgina: alright then
Ayo: are you not mad at Desmond for making up with her?
Georgina: why should i be mad at him?
Tunde: we are talking about Stephanie here?
Georgina: i know
Desmond: so you are okay with our friendship?as in me and her?
Georgina: yes;as long as you are not in love with her and she still have her crush on Tunde
Ayo: you are crazy behind
Georgina: i know but am crazy for just Desmond
Desmond: you are so funny;come on lets go to the cinema
Georgina: why
Desmond: I want to treat you or should i say i want to used this avenue to start our relationship anew;filled with trust and hope for the future
Georgina: as in for both of us
Desmond: if not for both of us who else?
Georgina: oh that is why i love you;you so are so sweet
Ayo: crazy people
Tunde: now you are going to make me jealous
Desmond: don't be;we are leaving already. you don't have to be jealous
Tunde: alright then;take care

Ayo: there is nothing like being with the one;you love
Tunde: and also for the one you love to be in love with you in turn
Ayo: but Tunde is not that easy
Tunde: who told is not?look at you and Anita;you two are doing well even when you both don't see each other that often or even talk long on phone but there is love there and look at Alfred and Ann both of them are going stead and Tosin and Tosan;they are both perfect together. can't you see it is easy
Ayo: what about you and Tinaesmond and Georgina?
Tunde: both of them seems okay now but i can't say that for myself and Tina
Ayo: why do you feel so
Tunde: nothing;lets not talk about it
Ayo: alright;if you say so;am hungry;will you eat?
Tunde: i will


Chioma: you seems always in thought for some days
Stephanie: some times i kept thinking that our as so many story
Chioma: why did you say that?
Stephanie: have you ever stop to look at the things that happen in our life
Chioma: yes;i have and it kept me wondering;that God created human so perfect yet very imperfect when it come to our attitude
Stephanie: yes;life is full of imperfection;that is why sometimes i can't help but conclude that we make mistake of telling people we love them;when we don't really know what it feels like to love
Chioma: i don't get you. we are talking about imperfection right
Stephanie: yes;we are;can't you see imperfect is link with something that is not good or mistake;so care can be mistaken to love and love to care. just like that and all this happen because we are not perfect
Chioma: that can never happen because when you love someone you can do anything for the person just to see him or her happy;we may not be perfect when it comes to our making decision because of our first parent Adam and Eve but that doesn't mean that we cannot differentiate love from care. am still going to say this words that when we love;we do it with our whole heart and no matter how many times we get hurt by that person;we will still love that person
Stephanie: girlfriend;sometimes i just can't help but wish i was you
Chioma: you shouldn't wish to be me because i have a lot of problems. i just choose to be happy just like you
Stephanie: do you think i am happy
Chioma: i know you are
Stephanie: you are right;i am happy really happy
Chioma: why so?
Stephanie: i will definitely tell you when the time comes
Chioma: alright;i need to get water from the tape
Stephanie: okay;take care

Jackson: my whole life i have never been this excited
Rose: why are you so excited
Jackson: come on sit;you remember i said our department is handle a project of advertising a building?
Rose: yes;so what happen?come on tell me


SEE MORE.....



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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SK: we eliminated him on Tuesday
Me: U mean kay is dead?
SK: Yes…so, i don’t know how you are going to
escape what is coming to befall you tonight or
tomorrow
Me: Ahhhh moku oooooo
SK: You are not dead yet sha..i seriously pity
you sha
Me: But where exactly is this place, where am
i?
SK: well, you are in Edo state…Naoka to be
precise
Me: have never heard of this location
before…….
SK: well you have heard of it……………….
Me: and who are you girls?…
Sk: I cant disclose that to you for now and i
think have heard enough already because girls
will be worried about what have been doing
here, if they should come inside, they might
want to fuck you and what you need now is a
strength for the challenge ahead..just continue
to God to help You…..
Me: Thanks so much……
SK: I will check you up later to give you
update….
Me: No problem..thanks so much
As she was going, i drag her back and gave her
emotional hug, i don’t know why she
responded to me but she did and i could feel
her heart beat on me, i looked at her and was
surprise she was not ready to look at my face,
i drew her face closer to my side and what i
saw was amazing, tears was full in her eyes
and didn’t take up to 2 minutes before they
started rolling down her cheek, she released
herself and stepped out of the room….
The atmosphere in my room was tensed as i
don’t know what will happened next, it was
late in the night and have not heard of them,
it was so unusual as the door was locked for
the first time, i was not hearing voice like that,
they didn’t bring food for me and i didn’t see
someone that look like SK too. The fear for my
death was high, i couldn’t sleep until suddenly
when the door opened, it was SK that walked
in with a bag over her sholder..her body was
smelling of alcohol…
SK: How you dey? You go think say we don
forget about you abi?
Me: “trembling”..what happened, where have
you been
SK: don’t worry, your death has been
postponed till next week
Me: “Relieved”…….What happened?
SK: Well, Mama called that they asked her to
start coming home, her mum said it was an
emergency, they didn’t tell her what happened
though..so, she travelled to Lagos from town
this afternoon….she called back that her mum
had little accident that she will be coming back
on Monday or Tuesday…she said she want to
be the one to kill you herself
Me: Ahhhhh…Mo ku
SK: Girls are tired already, they have started
grumbling that they couldn’t wait much again
so please if you still want to extend your life
till that Tuesday, don’t do anything that will
infuriate them
Me: okay…but is this the way am going to end
my life?
SK: Just be praying to your creator……and
don’t ever think of running away, this place is
over secured, in fact some of our guys are
around right now, we are just coming from a
joint where we went to enjoy
ourselves…..guys have occupied the rooms
with the other girls so i just decide to come
here
Me: Come here for what?
SK: Don’t worry, we bought noodles for you…
so, you better eat at least there is nothing to
fear..i wan shower abeg
The noodles was the worst i ever tasted in my
life, It was not even a surprise that she pull off
her cloth in my presence and made her way to
the bathroom in the room, she came back like
15 minutes later with a small towel, she
started cleaning herself in the room, she
brought out another top and a short track
from the small bag she brought in and put
them on..
WATCHOUT FOR PART 22



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Banta enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

“I have just the thing,” says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this between your cheek and gum.”

Banta places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave Banta has ever experienced. After a few strokes, Banta asks in garbled speech, “And what if I swallow it?”

“No problem,” says the barber. “Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does.”Related

So because I gave Obama my phone number, I can no longer rest again! He
has been disturbing me calling me on phone, sending me text messages
and just recently he added me on Whatsapp. Just imagine, any small
problem he encounters he will just rush, pick his phone and call me for
advice. Just last week Obama woke me up from my dear sleep with a phone
call just to tell me that his daughter is getting married! So if your
daughter is getting married I should leave Delta State abi?
And 2
weeks ago Jay-Z called me on phone apparently Obama gave him my number,
Imagine small Jay-Z called me to tell me that his wife Beyonce is
pleading for my autograph for their child, Blue Ivy. What sort of
problem is this na? And because I gave Bill Gate money, I can no longer
rest in my house again, Dangote is now always coming to my house asking
me to give him money too which I have given him enough but he just won't
stop coming.

Nigeria is greedy, now that 2015 is around the
corner our President, Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, is now all over me
telling me to help him win the election.

Damn! What's all these
na? Let me go and piss first, I must finish this dream this afternoon.
Please, nobody should wake me up o!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-10 07:41:05

179 Views



Akpos cookies [Read it]


one day Akpos saw his grandfather drinking African beer, he then went to ask for a sip. Akpos: Grandfather? can I have a sip of your beer?
Grandfather: can your penis reach your asshole?
no. reply Akpos. then you are not old enough to drink. said grandfather. the next day Akpos saw his grandfather smoking his pipe. Akpos went to ask for some. Akpos: Grandfather? can I have some smoke of your pipe?
grandfather: Can your penis reach your asshole?
No. reply Akpos. grandfather: then you are not old enough to smoke. Akpos have had enough he decided to bake himself some cookies. The next Morning while Akpos was having tea with his cookies. his grandfather come and asked him. Grandfather: Akpos my grandson? can I have some of your cookie? can your penis reach your asshole? asked akpos. it certainly can reply grandfather. Akpos: Then go fuck yourself these are my cookies


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-04 23:01:00

324 Views



nothing for her [Read it]


Valentine died for love!
Romeo also died for love!
Jack in titanic died for love!
Samson in the Bible died for love!
Greek heroes Hercules & Archilles died for love! & even Jesus Christ died for love!
.
Where are the women? Don't buy any woman a Valentine treat this year until she gives you at least 5 names of women who died for love!
.
For me, if my babe cannot give me 10Names of women (5 from the Bible, 3 in the circular world and 2 from her family/generation who died for love, Nothing for her!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-05 19:18:42

399 Views



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