Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.

~ Mother TeresaRelated

We made love two more times that night.
We both remained naked beneath the blanket, exhausted from the s-x we had. I didn’t feel guilty, with someone like Jafar, I didn’t know how much time I would have with him, Toun and Abayomi’s ish taught me that you should go for whatever you want, no one knows tomorrow..
I was awake but I was sure he was asleep. Even as he slept, he was so desirable. In another place, another time and in another world, I would have been happy lying next to him. But I had my fears, especially with the dream. I didn’t want him to die, he meant the world to me…I was the harshest judge of myself, but in Jafar’s case, I would rather be guilty being with him.
When I opened my eyes again, he was not in bed. I checked my phone to see if he had left a message but he hadn’t. I called his phone, it rang close to me..i was glad he was still around. I wore the Jersey again, went to the bathroom to clean up then decided to call Timi..
Timi: hey..
Me: you haven’t been picking my calls
Timi: I was busy…
Me: Timi, look I am sorry…
Timi: its alright, I guess the heart wants what it wants…
Me: we can still be close friends?
Timi: I would like that..
Me: don’t forget to wear black tomorrow…
Timi: sure, my regards to Jafar..
Me: Timi…stop..
Timi: seriously..if he hurts you…tell him I will come for him..
Me: he won’t…
Timi: bye …
Me: bye dear…
I felt a weight lifted from my chest after I had spoken to Timi…I called Toun…
Toun: babes..
Me: how are you faring?
Toun: I am better o…I cry less now..
Me: I am glad…
Toun: don’t forget to wear black tomorrow..
Me: never…
Toun: how is Timi and Jafar?
Me: hmmmm
Toun: what has been happening?
Me: I broke up with Timi..
Toun: I expected this…
Me: I slept with Jafar last night…
Toun: wow!..you guys are together now?
Me: not really…I don’t know…I suspect he will tell me I am not safe in his house and I will have to vacate…but I am inlove with him…
Toun: does he love you?
Me: how will I know, I know he likes me though..
Toun: are you happy?
Me: I am happy, but I am scared…I don’t want him to die…
Toun: he won’t die…
Me: are you sure?
Toun: yes…
Me: thank you dear, it’s such a relief talking to you..
Toun: I would be going to Zenon house on Monday, to pick my passport
Me: that’s for your UK Visa?
Toun: yes…mumsi said I need a change in environment…
Me: what if school resumes?
Toun: fvck school!
Me: Just take care of yourself dear..
Toun: you too Tee…
Jafar came in with a cup of tea, two slices of bread and a boiled egg…
Jafar : breakfast for the lady!
Me: I have not brushed yet…I think I left my brush in Ijebu-ode..you have a spare…?
Jafar: smelly mouth….you can use mine…
Me: you can be romantic sometimes o…
Jafar smiled..
Me: I would be going to Sagamu tomorrow to stay with a friend..
Jafar: when?
Me: Tomorrow..
Jafar: what happened between Timi and yourself…
I walked to his bathroom, he followed me..
Me: nothing…
Jafar: you guys had a fight?
Me: no..
Jafar: sooo?
Me: He kissed me and I realized I couldn’t kiss him back
Jafar: oh…
Me: what?
Jafar: nothing
Me: talk jor…
Jafar: i’m glad you didn’t kiss him…
He went out with his guys, he told me he wouldn’t be going far, so I spent my time taking my bath and cooking Jollof rice. I was wearing a blue jean and a purple top, I went through his wardrobe until I found his body spray…I wanted to smell like him so I sprayed myself tiny puffs of his “King” deodorant.
Few hours later, the guys were munching the Jollof rice like they hadn’t eaten in a while..
Jafar: The guys are grateful, they haven’t eaten something as nice as this in a while..
Me: who does the cooking here?
Jafar: I do..
Me: what of all the girls that flock this place…?
Jafar: Na u sabi…
Me: would you be going out later today?
Jafar: nope…
Me: good…because I have only today to stay with you before I leave..
Jafar: you are really excited about going?
He was eating on the floor, while I sat on the bed with his TV remote control…
Me: not really, I would have gone to Lagos but I don’t think it would help my state of mind..
Jafar: stay with me here…
Me: No…you know it is not proper at this time…
Jafar: true…
Me: when you finish eating, join me in the bed; I want to know about your childhood…
He soon finished eating and joined me in bed…
Me: oya, tell me everything…
Jafar: I really never had an interesting childhood
Me: how?
Jafar: my father was into Contracts with the Military…I was his only child and my mother was dead. He couldn’t carry me all over the country with him as he travelled…so he brought me to Ogun-state, Mayflower Junior school. I was enrolled in 1 special…Holidays was spent with my matrons. He came by once in a while with a lot of money and stuff, but he soon disappeared…I was enrolled into Mayflower secondary school years later, unfortunately, he was a business partner of General Diya, so when Diya was arrested, he went into hiding. Even after Abacha died, I saw only his money..That’s my child hood..
Me: is that why you are schooling in the west?
Jafar: yes….
Me: do you miss your mum?
Jafar: nope, I really never knew her..
His phone rang…
After talking for a while, he hung up…
Jafar: I have to go now..
Me: why?…you said you will stay here….
Jafar: someone has been killed close to the market…
Me: your guy?
Jafar: yep..
Me: I am sorry…
He nodded as he left the room with his white vest and khaki short.
I was sleeping when he came back…the other guys came in quietly too.
Me: how was it?
I said this after I opened the door to see his sad face…
Jafar: He is dead alright…
Me: how did they kill him?
Jafar: you really want to know?
Me: yes…I want to know all that is in your head…
Jafar: he was shot in the head. We carried his body before the police and school authorities got to it..
Me: why?
Jafar: when a Confra member is killed, the school sends the body to the medical school in Sagamu, where 2nd and 3rd year medical students use the body as cadaver.
Me: hmmmm, without the parents being aware?
Jafar: yes…Tana, I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but if I should die, I should be buried that night…I have told Uche but you know….he might be killed too…
Me: chai, which type of stupid talk is this?…you promised you would not die…
Jafar: I wont…I am just saying should incase…
Me: there is power in the tongue, shut up!
Jafar: have I ever told you, you are so lovely?
Me: nope…
Jafar: you are..
Me: why are you all mushy mushy now?
Jafar: death puts a guy in perspective…
Me: stop talking about death…
We were both in bed…
Jafar: I have liked you since the first time I saw you…
Me: when was that?
Jafar: During GNS 103, I was in your class, I saw you answer a question once and you got stuck in my head…
Me: why didn’t you ever tell me…
Jafar: because of Timi…plus someone like you doesn’t deserve just a fling…
Me: that is so sweet…
Jafar: come let me show you something….
Me : where?
Jafar: Just come…
It was past 9pm when I entered his benz with him, and he drove us into the night…
To be continued


>>

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????? ??? ?????? Online ??? ???? ??? Related


Akpos and his two friends went to China for
vacation. Since they were new at the place,
they had to stay in a hotel. They ended up
being on the 60th floor. The policy of the
hotel was that, at midnight, the elevator is
shut down. The next day, they rented a car
and explored the city.
They enjoyed themselves and arrived at the
hotel pass midnight. The elevators had been
shut down.
There was no other way to get to their room
than to take the stairs all the way to the 60th
floor.
The first friend said; for the first 20 floors, I
will tell jokes to keep us going. (pointing to
the second friend) you’ll say wise stories for
the next 20 floors, and (pointing to Akpos)
you will cover the final 20 floors with sad
stories.
They started telling jokes. With lots of laugh
and joy, they reached the 20th floor.
The second friend started telling stories full of
wisdom. They had learnt a lot on reaching the
40th floor.
Now it was time for sad stories. Akpos said;
my first sad story is that I forgot the key of
the room in the car.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-10 09:55:11

294 Views




Santa and Banta meet after many years. Banta asks Santa, “How have things been going?”


Santa speaking very slowly tells Banta, “I wa.aa..sss aaal.m.ooo.sst mmm.aa.rrr. ii.e.ddd”


Banta says in amazement, “Hey; you don`t stutter any more.”


Santa, ” Y..ee.sss, I ww..e..nn..ttt to a ddd.o.c.ttt.o.rrr. aa.n.ddd h.ee t.oo.l.dd mm.e t.h.aa.ttt i.ff I s.pp.e.a.kkk.. s.ll.o.w.ll.yyy I w.i.llll nn.o.tt sss.t.u.t.t.e.rrr


Banta congratulates him and than asks again about how he was almost married.


Ww.e.lll mm..y fff.i..a.n.c.eee a.n.dd I ww.e.r.e ss.i..ttt..iinn.ggg onn h.err pp.o.rr.c.h aa.n.ddd tt.h.e ddd.o.gg w.a.sss sss.c.r.a.tt.c.hh.i.n.gg hh..i..ss bb.a.c.kk aa.n.dd I tto.o.l.dd h.e.rr tt.h.aaa.tt ww.h.e.nn w.eee aa.rr.e m.a.rrr.i.e.dd ss.h.ee c.aa.nn d.oo tt.h.a.tt f.o.rr mm.e aa.n.d ss.h..ee tt.h.r.e.w tt.h.e rrr.ii.n.gg i.nn m.y ff.a.c.e”


“Why should she throw the ring in your face for that?” asks Banta.”


Ww.e.lll I sss.p.e.a.kk ss.o sl.o.w.ll.y, tt.h.a.tt bb.y tt.h.e ttt.i.mm.e ss.h..e ll.ooo.kk.e.dd at tt.h.e dd.o.g, h.e ww.a.s ll.i.c.k.i.nn.gg hh.i.s bb.a.l.ll.ss.”Related

Rahul took prince to his bedroom. He tried to contain his emotions before Ana, but once he was alone with prince, he let them go.

Prince was sitting on his bed and Rahul kneeled down in front of him. He kissed both his tiny hands and when he touched his cheek, he remembered Ria hitting him and his inability to protect him. He didn't realize, he was crying and his tears hit prince's thigh.

"I am sorry prince, I couldn't protect you. I failed you as a parent, but I promise, I will take care of you. I love you"

"Ssh .. Idata ...don't cry ... don't cry ... I love you too." Prince pulled Rahul's head into his lap and started consoling him, even though he didn’t fully understand Rahul's statements. He thought Rahul missed him and was sad.

They both held each other for some time and then Rahul picked him up and hugged him, kissing his cheeks and his forehead. It was the happiest day of his life, holding his son and having Ana back in the mansion with him.

He knew, he need to be careful with his emotions around prince, till he can win over Ana. He was still afraid Ana might run away, if she feels, anyone is going to take away prince from her. He realized it was the main reason, she never tried to find out about prince's father.

He stocked on prince's favorite chocolates and gave him to celebrate their union. Prince bit into his chocolate and then realized his manners and offered Rahul a bite. They were Rahul's favorite too. Both of them sat down and feasted on chocolates. Rahul was ready to face the world again, feeling stronger with his son by his side.

He knew he had to make some calls and felt very tensed about it. He cannot keep Mandy in the dark anymore. She cooperated with him, without asking any questions and probably knows by now, that Ana is home and will fly back immediately from Florida. He had to stop her from coming back. He needs Ana to be alone with him, so that he can work on building trust between them. He decided to ask Mandy to extend her vacation, till things get sorted out.

Prince was still in his lap, eating chocolate. He had chocolate all over his face and was looking really cute, that Rahul decided to leave him like that. He called Neha on the video conference system in his bedroom.

The huge video screen in his room lit up with their image and started dialing Neha's Florida IP address. Luckily for him, Neha and Mandy were in the same bedroom talking.

"Hey guys ..." Rahul answered as soon as the system connected.

"Hey! ... OMG! Ana is back." Neha screamed looking at prince in Rahul's lap.

"Thank God! Where is Ana? I don't see her. OMG! Look how cute he looks." Mandy came forward looking closely at the video screen.

"Mandy! " Prince screamed pointing her to Rahul

"Ana is in her room. She just came home and probably searching for you." Rahul told them.

"Oh! You didn't tell her, I am in Florida?" Mandy questioned him.

"No, not yet. I need a favor from both of you."

"Sure Rahul, go ahead" Mandy replied.

"You need to continue your stay indefinitely in Florida, till I give you all clear to return. Also you cannot tell Ana anything about our previous conversation or this conversation. She is going to call you and ask questions. Just tell her that you need to help Neha and extending your vacation."

"Ok sure, will do. But I need to know what is going on?" Mandy and Neha, looked at Rahul, surprised at his request. He never asked for favors, so something big was cooking and they need to know.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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two old men [Read it]


Two old men were sitting in the reading room and one said to the other, ''How do you really feel? I mean, you're 75 years old, how do you honestly feel?''''Honestly, I feel like a new born baby. I've got no hair, no teeth, and I just can't walk.''


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-26 15:51:07

169 Views



baddest time. [Read it]


That awkward moment when you are living in a face-me-i-face-you apartment and you are having running stomach where the shit don comot finish, reaching toilet your neighbor wey dey take time shit don dey inside, hmm na there goat go chop you better palm front for head.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-22 15:07:27

288 Views




“The doctor, the doctor,” Tricia kept pacing in her bedroom repeating those two words – the doctor. She could not easily forget the conversation she had with him earlier that day. His voice kept echoing in her head – ‘I’m watching you. Purity’s watching you too. You won’t get away.’ Whatever does he mean by that? The thought of that made her shudder.

That doctor was with Jeremy. They’re close friends. If the doctor was aware, Jeremy must be aware too. Jeremy, was he playing with her emotions? She didn’t know what to think anymore. Getting the doctor out of her way was more important. Jeremy comes later, she just had to enjoy the attention he decided to show her. She smiled at the thought of that.

She laid on her bed and closed her eyes, reminiscising the time she spent with Jeremy – in his arms. A pleasant smile touched her face. The only man that had found a way into her heart and have refused to leave. The only man she has ever loved and will only love. Jeremy meant the whole world to her. She was ready to do anything just to get him and to keep him to herself. She wasn’t going to spare any who would come between them.

Her cellphone buzzed, jolting her out of her deep thinking. She sat up with a jerk. It was Ernest calling.

“How’d it go?” he asked over the phone.

She rubbed her head hard. “We have a problem.”

“State it,” he replied hastily.

“The doctor. Doctor Allan, he got to know that she was kidnapped. He warned me, especially with his eyes. He’s dangerous.”

“Dammit! How did he get to know?”

“How am I supposed to know?” she retorted.

There was silence for a few seconds.

“It’s Jeremy,” he breathed out.

She tried laughing it off. “You must be joking. It can’t be my baby. It just can’t be.”

“I have to disagree with you.”

“Its not true.”

“Lets meet up and talk about this. You know where.” He hung up.

“It can’t be true,” she kept muttering as the phone fell from her hand.
*
*
*
Purity reluctantly opened her eyes, only to be greeted by darkness. She couldn’t see a thing, nor fathom what was around her. She’d always been scared of the dark and this was a frightening experience for her. Her heartbeat was faster than normal. She saw shadows moving here and there. One seemed to be coming close to her, but when it reached her, it vanished into thin air. She heard creepy sounds. It was all weird and terrifying. She was too scared to even scream. Tears only ran down from her eyes.

The wind began blowing violently. She heard the faint whispers of the grasses outside the room. A window creaked open in response to the breeze. Moments later, that same window was jammed against the shutters. The loud sound caught her attention. She shivered and tightly closed her eyes.

A calm set in. The weird sounds were no more heard. The breeze stilled and the window did not make any more noise. The calmness was beginning to get to her. She was feeling calm and tried to force herself back to sleep. She was aching all over and her stomach rumbled. It reminded her that she had not eaten in days. The pain kept her awake. Her eyes were shut, but sleep went farther and farther away from her. She silently begged sleep to come. She needed it to remain sane.

All of a sudden, the wind rushed over that area which sent the window creaking and jamming against shutters. She could hear the curtains billowing in the breeze. The sounds pierced her ears that she began to weep bitterly. She was afraid. She wished to become unconscious than to have such unpleasant feelings. She tightly shut her eyes.
*
*
*
“What did you say, Allan?” Jeremy questioned after emptying his glass of white wine. He wasn’t sure he had heard right.

Allan rolled his eyes. He was certain that Jeremy heard all the words he had spoken. He just wanted him to repeat it. It was his way of being certain that he heard what he had said. “This place is filthy. I want us out of it.”

Jeremy had heard him right. He had a special reason bringing them to that bar. He wasn’t going to reveal it to anyone yet. His plan must first be achieved. “What’s going on here that you haven’t seen before? And besides, we’re gonna be here for only a few minutes. Lets just focus on what we’re here for.”

“I support Allan,” Darren informed them. “We have to get to another place, an eatery to discuss this,” he proposed.

“We can as well got to Jeremy’s home,” Allan suggested too.

Jeremy shot him a warning look. “Have you forgotten my day’s in there?”

Allan lifted his hands up – a sign of surrender.

“We have to remain here,” Jeremy insisted.

“Why don’t you give us the damn reasons. Then we’ll decide whether to stay or not.” Darren propounded, seriously.

“I agree with him,” Allan seconded.

Jeremy sighed. These men, he thought. “As you all know, the man who took Purity Theodore-”

“Not took,” Darren interrupted. “He’s only as a suspect. We don’t have any vivid evidence nailing him to the crime,” he corrected Jeremy.

“Whatever you say,” Jeremy blurted out. “He always drinks and likes to party. I want us to keep an eye on him. I’ve got no way of tracking him down, this is only what I have in mind.”

“Can we discuss this elsewhere?” Allan asked. He wasn’t comfortable at all in such a place. And as a doctor, it wasn’t good for his health and he’d never recommend a patient to such a place.

“Dang!” Jeremy exclaimed. “Just forget about what’s happening. Concentrate, remain focused and listen to all that I have to say.” Jeremy was not going to agree to leave that bar, that was were he was going to have that discussion and nothing was going to change that. Period!

“Alright, alright.” Allan resigned, reluctantly.

“We’re gonna follow him. If he shows up, we’ll monitor his every move. He has to lead us to Purity. I don’t really care about any evidence, I just want her, safe and sound. I know what Ernest can do.”

“He suspects Tricia Cayson too,” Darren informed Allan.

“Tricia?” Allan questioned. “Oh, yeah. I saw her at the hospital today and we had a really nice conversation.”

“What did you talk about?” Darren was curious to know. The Tricia had showed up unannounced at the Broderick’s mansion and Jeremy carried out a dirty game on her.

Allan tilted his head to a different position in order to give his friends the full details of his encounter with Darren at the hospital. Then, his eyes caught a familiar female figure. She was with a man whom he was sure he had seen somewhere, but he couldn’t clearly recall. “Holy cow,” he drew the attention of his buddies. “You need to see this.”

Jeremy and Darren turned to the direction of Allan’s gaze. They saw what Allan was seeing. Darren recognized the woman, but the man, he had never seen in his life. He had to be sure. He had to confirm. “Who are they?”

“Ernest and Tricia,” Jeremy answered before Allan could. At that moment, he was much more convinced that Ernest and Tricia were accomplices. They both kidnapped his beloved – Purity.

When all three noticed that Ernest and Tricia pointed at their direction without seeing them, they turned their gazed simultaneously and lowered their face caps; hiding their faces from the couple. Good thing that they had it on. It was Jeremy’s idea. Tricia and Ernest walked past the three friends without even noticing them. The friends were glad that they were invisible to them.

Jeremy had mentioned to him the reason he suspects Tricia. Seeing her with the cousin and main suspect, he knew she had something to do with whatever happened to Jeremy’s fiancee. He had to help his friend. There was something really familiar about this Ernest. That intrigued him and he wasn’t willing to share that information yet.

“Jeremy, you are right. What do we do now?” Allan asked.

“Keep your voice down,” Darren cautioned. “Quick, tell us all you know. I have an idea.”
*
*
*
“The doctor’s eyes are on us,” Tricia said, as she settled down on the chair she was offered. She was really in a haste to solve the problem with the doctor.

That really upset Ernest. It was all her fault. If she hadn’t felt she had won and acted in a sassy manner, the doctor wouldn’t have confronted her. She was bringing up her problem. If he had his way, he would stay out and away from her. He had already gotten his Melisa. He whooshed in a breath. “What exactly did he say?”

Tricia straightened up. “He said he’s aware that I…. no, not I, we kidnapped her and he’s watching us. His eye is actually on me.”

He grunted. “If you’ve not been flaunting the fact that you’d be his next fiancee, this wouldn’t have happened!”

She shot him a warning look. “It my right! We were dating before her left me for that wench. I am no cause of this. Its all her fault. She’s going to pay, she-”

“Enough!” Ernest interrupted her abruptly. “It isn’t her fault men are after her and chose her over you. You are to blame. You don’t have him yet but you act like you do. Leave Melisa out of this!”

To Be Continued.....

Lets do it again. say 'Hii' if you are with me


>>

Once a Minister went to the Mental Asylum to see the condition of the people kept there. He saw that some had gone from bad to worse and some were improving. After inspecting some he came to a corner and saw Banta, who was sitting rather quietly.

He went to him and asked him, “How are you ?”

Banta calmly replied, “I am fine, what about you Sir”.

The Minister was quite surprised at the reply. The Minister asked him many questions about General knowledge and to his surprise Banta answered them all right.

The surprised Minister told him, “You dont seem to be mad then why are you kept here.”

Banta replied, “Even I’m unable to understand!”

The minister took out a cigarette packet and took one cigarette and gave the packet to Banta.

He took out all the cigarettes and peeled the paper cover off and took out all the tobacco and put it on his head and asked the minister for a lighter. The minister gave him a lighter.

He burnt the tobacco on his head, opened his pajamas and asked the Minister, “Sir, would you like to have Hukkah (sheesha).”Related

Ochuko and Akpos were travelling to Enugu in the same bus. In the bus, Ochuko persistently reminded Akpos about the money Akpos was owing him, asking him when he will pay back.


Suddenly, armed robbers attacked the bus. They made them lie down on the rough surface of the road and demanded money from them, one after the other.


Before they got to Akpos, he suddenly threw his wallet in the direction of Ochuko and said, "Ochuko, that is the money I have been owing you for a very long time, I have paid you o."


One word for Akpos.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-22 13:31:22

222 Views





An engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bends over, picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. The frog speaks up again and says, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it and returns it to the pocket.

The frog then cries out, "If you kiss me and turn me back, I'll do whatever you say!"

Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it and puts it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asks, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, I'll stay with you for a month and do whatever you say. What more do you want?"

The engineer says, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-13 15:27:06

157 Views



ONLY ONE WISH [Read it]


Akpos was traveling with five other people
in a
mini-van.
Halfway into the journey, the vehicle
somersaulted
and everyone died.
The soon found themselves standing
before an
angel at the gates of heaven. The angel told
them that they were lucky to be
there at that particular time, noting that
the day
was Jesus’ birthday.
Being a special day in heaven, the angel
asked
them to make any wish of their choice and
it would
be granted. The first person came forward
and said, ” I’m 30
years. I died too early. Please send me back
to my
first family. Immediately, the man back to
earth.
Akpos, who was the last in line burst out
laughing
loudly. The second man came forward and
also requested
to be sent back to earth, and was sent
back.
The third, fourth, and fifth persons made
similar
requests, which were granted. Akpos’
laughter
kept getting louder as each man was sent
to earth.
It finally got to Akpos’ turn and the
following conversation ensued. Angel:
Friend, you can make only one wish so
choose wisely.
Akpos: ( Laughing loudly) What I want is
this:
Those people you just sent to earth, bring
them
back!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-19 15:37:08

1288 Views




Please open ur eyes,
so the Sun can rise,
flowers can blossom,
birds can sing,
as all r waitin to see a beautiful SMILE in ur face & say Gud Morning.Related

TRUE OR FALSE [Read it]


Having one loyal and
faithful girl is better than
gathering 10 sluts. Afterall,
one Messi is better than a
whole Arsenal team.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-02 00:05:53

361 Views



Answering call [Read it]


I was in the public toilets and had just sat
down, a voice
from the next cubicle said “Hi!!!, how are
you ?”
Embarrassed, I said, “I’m doing fine”.
The voice said “So what are you up to ?”.
I replied, “Just doing the same as you, sitting
here !”.
From next door, “Can I come over?”.
Annoyed, I replied ” rather busy right now”.
The voice said, “Listen, i will have to call you
back,
there’s an idiot
next door answering all my questions".



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-02 13:48:26

146 Views




Just because you can’t dance, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.



~ AlcoholRelated

When you discover your purpose in life, you'll understand the reason behind your gifts and talents. When you understand your purpose, you will have a clear vision for your future, and are then well-positioned to set up goals to make your dreams a reality.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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You know you’ve won the argument on Facebook when they start correcting your grammar!Related

Ada: welcome to our house;this is where you will sleep
Isabella: so you sleep in this room alone
Ada: of cause;am i not a girl
Isabella: you are really really lucky to have a wealthy parent
Ada: of cause;so you can sleep
Isabella: thank you for been a kind hearted person with a beautiful heart and face
Ada: cut it out;i am not beautiful
Isabella: you are;if others criticise you is because you have already criticise yourself
Ada: i haven't
Isabella: you wouldn't tell me the truth but deep down in you;you know is the fact;good night
Ada: good night;yes that is the fact(to herself)
Obed: Obedient;did you see her?
Obedient: who?
Obed: Come off it;the girl.....
Obedient: Zuriel brought home
Obed: yes;do you think;they are dating?
Obedient: what is your business with that?take your eyes off her
Obed: don't be too serious;my eyes are not on her;my eyes are still on my face in their rightful place
Obedient: i know but don't try to go close to her;so that you don't get to something bad to her
Obed: i know what you are thinking;but i am not a rapist
Obedient: i didn't say so but you have a lot of girls why are you still interested in her
Obed: don't say that? dad might hear about it
Obedient: but you are more than eighteen;so you are feel to date
Obed: i know;let that be but we are not talking about girls;we are talking about...
Obedient: Isabella
Obed: of cause;it wouldn't be a bad ideal if i make her one of my girls
Obedient: you wish
Obed: meaning
Obedient: you can never get her;she is not like those girls
Obed: just watch and see
Obedient: fine;i got to sleep;good night
Obed: good night(next morning)
Mercy: madam;why are you not sleeping
Isabella: sleeping? when it is past five and its a new day
Mercy: i know;its still early
Isabella: yes;but time waits for no one;so whatever you have to do;do quick(enter Zeal)
Mercy: of cause
Isabella: yes because when you wake up early;you do things fast;you wouldn't have any reason to procrastinate because you are able to manage your time;so what do you want me to do for you;at your service
Mercy: lets say breakfast for the family but dad's own first
Zeal: good morning;how is the dinning not serve?
Mercy: good morning sir;the dinning will soon be serve in a minute
Isabella: good morning sir
Zeal: morning;alright(exit)
Mercy: i got to take this things to the dinning before he flame up
Isabella: oh my God he is so grumpy he is too up tight;he doesn't smile;he just frown;with a deep voice;he just say good morning;why is the dinning not set yet' gosh;i cant live with that kind of a man as my dad;we will always quarrel but he is better off than dad;he is not grumpy but he is mean
Mercy: hey young lady;why didn't you put off the gas
Isabella: i am sorry;i didn't know;why is your boss grumpy?
Mercy: he wasn't like this before now
Isabella: then what happen to him?did his breath leave him
Mercy: what?
Isabella: i didn't say he is dead;i said his breath;that part of him that make him want live;did it leave him?
Mercy: i don't understand;all i know is that;he started acting strange when his first wife whom he love most;left on one faithful morning and never returned
Isabella: oh what a heart break(enter Zuriel/Obedient)
Mercy: that is what happen;when you love too much
Isabella: to love too much is not a crime;is to love someone that is not in love with you;that is a crime
Zuriel: no;it is not a crime to love someone that is not in love with you;it only becomes a crime to force your love on that someone that us not in love with you
Isabella: what would you know about love?brother said,'to love someone that is not in love with you is to suffocate that one
that
Zuriel: that is when you are forcing your love on that one
Isabella: fine;i have heard;i need to take my bath and brush
Zuriel: so you didn't brush your teeth before coming here?
Isabella: my mouth is not smelling;i have been talking since(Zuriel laughed)stop it
Zuriel: alright;fine go take your bath(left)
Mercy: she is funny
Zuriel: yes;and such a talkative
Isabella: i heard that
Obedient: what?
Isabella: just kidding

Obedient: she is really funny
Zuriel: yes(enter Ada)
Ada: baby
Zuriel: you kept calling me baby;i am not a baby
Ada: don't be shy;she wouldn't laugh at you
Zuriel: I am not talking because of her
Obed: i am so farmish (he started eating)
Alice: Obed: you are eating without looking for your mom
Obed: sorry mom;
Alice: is okay
Isabella: good morning ma
Zuriel: come on;come and eat(he dragged a chair for her)
Alice: what?in my dinning?are you crazy?
Isabella: sorry ma
Alice: sorry for your stupid self
Zuriel: but mom;wouldn't she eat?
Alice:i don't care;if she want to eat but nit eating in same place with me;never a pig cannot eat with me
Obedient: mother

Alice: will you keep quiet;is she better than a pig;a low life;a homeless one at that
Obed: mom;stop it
Alice: if i don't;what will she do?will she beat me up in my house;because of my kindness by letting her stay;don't push it;i don't even know if she hasn't taken her bath for God know how long;i don't mingles with people with bad breath and pigs
Zuriel: that is enough
Alice: i don't know where you pick her up but tell her to get out of my side(she turned and start walking away)better;imagine the nonsense;my house as turn into a refugee camp(exit Zuriel)
Obed: mother;you wouldn't had talk to her like that
Alice: don't tell me what to do in my house
Obedient: thanks mom;i just lost my appetite
Obed: me too
Alice: fine;good for all of you
Isabella: don't tell me you want to cry again(to herself)i don't want to cry but i cant hold it; Zippor said let it out,no one will judge you for it but i will judge myself for it;i am strong;i can take any insult form anyone(she wipe her tears)yes;you can do it
Zurial: Isabella
Isabella: yes;do you want anything?
Zuriel: i was thinking if you wouldn't mind eating with me at the garden
Isabella: don't worry;i am not hungry
Zuriel: it is past ten already;don't tell me you are not hungry ,i am so sorry that my mom yelled at you
Isabella: you don't have to apologies;she is kind enough to allow someone she doesn't know to live in same house with her kids that are male
Zuriel: but that notwithstanding
Isabella: is okay;tell me;what is the worse moment of your life?why should i be asking you that?i know you don't have worse moment in life
Zuriel: that is not true;everyone has and i do
Isabella: i don't think you do because all rich kid doesn't have
Zuriel: don't be cunning;riches is a way of making life comfortable not a source of happiness
Isabella: deep talk;i kind of like it
Zuriel: it might sound awkward to you but i do have two worse moment in my life as a growing boy;the first was when my mom left without a proper goodbye;i get to deal with my step mother with all her hatred she had for my mom been transfer to me and and the second was when i have to travel out
Isabella: you are funny;how can travelling out be the worse moment of your life?if i was given such an opportunity it will be the happiest moment of my life
Zuriel: you should had asked why is it the worse moment of my life(enter Ada)
Isabella: alright;fine;why is it?
Ada: here you are;lets go for swimming
Zuriel: alright;Isabella;come on
Isabella: i don't want to
Ada: please
Isabella: okay fine(at the pool)

Obed: i don't know you can swim
Isabella: of cause;i can,i and my brother and his girlfriend Joy;we used to go to hotel that has swimming pool
Obedient: whoa
Isabella: we do it almost every weekend especially when he went to work,he always treat us
Joy: why is he always going with you?
Isabella: is because i am his baby sister and he treat me like a princess
Obedient: your brother must really love you
Isabella: of cause;he does
Alice: what is going on here?
Obed: mom,we are swimming
Alice: i am not a bloody idiot;i can see
Obedient: then why did you asked?
Alice: may God forbid that its will not be well with you this afternoon. you(to Isabella)may it not be well with you before close and opened my eyes;i don't want to still see you inside that pool(she rushed out)pig;goat;a butterfly thinking itself a bird
Isabella: i am sorry ma(she mistakenly step on her)sorry
Alice: you are bot only a pig;you are also a senseless goat like your parent
Zuriel: you are insulting her parents
Alice: will you keep your mouth shut;is she not a pig?does she not have a worthless parents?if i am lying why is she that foolish and her stupid mother cant provide a roof over her head
Isabella: with all due respect ma;stop insulting my mother even if you have to tell me;my whole life history ;don't drag my mother into it
Alice: you have the right to talk back at me; wouldn't take it;no way(she pull her shoe and hit her on her head and she started bleeding)
Obed: mother;do you want to kill her?
Isabella: my head
Zuriel: help;someone help
Alice: useless children(exit Alice) Obedient: Ada get the first aids (exit and return with it)am really sorry;she didn't mean to hurt you that much
Zuriel: she didn't mean to hurt her that much?why would she hurt her at the first place?
Obed: we are sorry
Zuriel: what is wrong with your mom?is she stupid
Isabella: Zuriel you are insulting your mom
Zuriel: she is not my mother;she is a beast
Obedient: man;stop it;is my mom you are talking about
Zuriel: i don't care;she is heartless
Obed: that is enough;stop it
Zuriel: if i don't;what will you do?
Obed: don't push it(Zuriel pushed him)
Ada: stop it
Isabella: are you two crazy?why are you crying over my headache;are you the one that is insulted?no,then why are you so angry about?and the last time i check;is my head that is bleeding not yours. you are all;give me a break;if you want to kill yourself;don't do that because of me;excuse (she walked away)
Zuriel: wait up(he caught up with her)i am sorry
Isabella: don't tell that to me;say that to your brother
Zuriel: why?
Isabella: you know why
Obedient: Obed;you wouldn't had done that
Obed: i know but he was taking it for granted
Ada: but that is enough
Obed: is okay;i will go apologies to him(to Zuriel)hey buddy
Zuriel: i hope that is not for me
Obed: if it's not for you then is for who?
Isabella: don't mind him;he is just pretending right?
Zuriel: what
Isabella: hmm
Zuriel: sorry my brother
Obed: is alright;i apologies
Ada: that is good(laughed everyone)
Obedient: lets go inside
Zuriel: Alright after you(curtain)

Zeal: hello;anyone home?
Isabella: welcome sir;everyone is sleeping;excuse me sir
Zeal: where are you going?
Isabella: to Ada;sir
Zeal: i thought you are watching a program
Isabella: yes sir
Zeal: then why are you leaving?Ada;doesn't have television in her room
Isabella: i know sir
Zeal: then why are you leaving
Isabella: nothing sir
Zeal: are you scared of me?
Isabella: yes sir(he laughed)sorry sir(enter Ada/Zuriel)
Zeal: you are funny;why are you scared of me?am i a monster?
Isabella: no sir;you kind;handsome;generous and those qualities are not possess by monster
Zeal: okay;then why are you scared of me?
Isabella: is because you are.....um....um..grumpy
Zeal: what?




to be continued



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Put your wife in a room and lock it.

Put your dog in another room and lock it !!!

Open both rooms after 2 – 3 hours and see who is ‘Happy’ to see you, and who will ‘BITE’ you !


(You are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals who are now divorced and living happily with their dog)


Don’t laugh loud… the extended version says…


Put your husband in a room and lock it.

Put your dog in another room and lock it !!!

Open both rooms after 2 – 3 hours and you will be happy to see your dog waiting for you but you be angry looking at your husband sleeping like he never slept before.Related

Vagina to Penis, “Surrender, I have you surrounded!”Related

• What if I told you that the missing malaysian plane is at my backyard?

• What if I told you that my father is richer than bill gate?

• What if I told you that I ate beans and ogiri this morning?


• What if I told you that my girlfriend told me that its over between
us because my shit (pen*s) is too small for her grave yard?

• What if I told you that I got a job at 7.00am this morning and was sacked at 7.15am because I messed while rejoicing?

• What if I told you that beyonce is willing to pay 50 million naira to have me as her boyfriend?

• What if I told you that 12 out of 30 of my girlfriends are in this group? You Grab??

• What if I told you that am the second in command of Islamic group(book haram)

• What if I told you that I took 5 raps of igbo before writing this shit? WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-09 15:16:54

109 Views




Women can wear all Men’s items like T shirt, pant, jeans, lungies. But they can’t wear 1 thing..

Guess what?

‘CONDOM’. It’s our monopoly.

Jai jawaan, Jai Saamaan !!!Related

I went for a birthday ceremony of my friend. As I entered, I saw plenty beautiful girls but I decided to respect myself. I went and sat at the back alone.
Few minutes, a girl came in with a tray containing something that looks like sweet.
To God be the glory, she started sharing from the back. So I quickly picked one.
After sharing the remaining 2, the MC came in and instructed those that collected not to open it until he say so.
He invited the first person on the stage. As the first guy unwrap his sweet, he saw a piece of paper that reads “Pick a woman of your choice and give her a french kiss”. So he went and picked one beautiful girl and kissed her.
The second persons’ own reads “Pick a woman of your choice and romance her until she goes gaga”. “Aaaaaah! See free food” I said to myself. The guy did just that.
At this time I was so happy. I was flashing my eyes north, east and west looking for the beautiful girl I will pick even though I have not open mine.
Suddenly, the MC called me to come out. I walked majestically to the stage. As I opened mine, it reads “Happy birthday”. I was so disappointed. I turned in anger to go, I saw the same girl coming up the stage with a tray again dressed in a sexy way.
Before I know it, she started to unbutton my shirt. My eyes zoomed. “The patient dog eats the fattest bone” I said to myself. As if that was not enough, she went ahead and removed my trouser. I was left with only pant. She asked me to lye down and close my eyes. My system was rocking inside.
I was just lying down waiting for the MC to blow the whistle so that the match will start when the girl picked a white paint from the tray and poured all over my body and wrote “Happy birthday” on me. I became dumfounded.
I was so angry and went to my guy who is the celebrant and demand an explanation of all this rubbish. All he could do was to take me to his gate and ask me to be directing his guest.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-25 17:36:10

43764 Views




see France students studying inside water.








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-08 07:13:14

268 Views



Mtn > bank ???? [Read it]



I saw a Notification from MTN that reads....."your
account is too low n you are having #87
remaining,
if
you need more airtime kindly
DIAL *322*214*AMOUNT# ", which I hastily
dialled
without wasting time,1st I dialled
*322*214*1000# and I got credited of #1000
airtime and I was happy that MTN IS IN
a big TROUBLE.
I never knew that I was going for my doom, So l
continued dialling until I got credited of
#87,000, I was in jubilation and I wanted to do
more
when I received MESSAGES that SHOCKED me
from
MTN.... It said... "You have successfully Purchased
your AIRTIME through your GTB (BANK)
ACCOUNT",
shortly after the
msgs came in, I started seeing the most annoying
and
terrifying Part of it, which was text msgs from my
GTB (BANK) that the sum of #87,000 has been
debited from my ACCOUNT.
Ever Since yesternight My body system has not
been
the same.
Now I agree that true true AWOOF THEY PURGE
BELLE, I Dey purge now
oooo.... Ema gbami ke
!!!!pls wetin I wan use 87k airtime do??
And I need money pass FEDERAL GOVERNMENT


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-06 09:53:12

335 Views




Toun was waiting for me in the audotorium when i got to school. Timi had dropped me with his ugly looking car. The grin on her face when i stepped out of his car didnt go unnoticed..
Toun : did he sleep in your house?
me : is that the goodmorning you were supposed to tell me?
Toun : Oya no vex, goodmorning ma…so did he sleep over…did you people straff?
me : You be mumu, i swear…
Toun: Talk jor.
me : yes he slept over, and no…i am not that cheap…
Toun : so whats up with you guys?
In as much as i wanted to tell Toun about what happened between Annie and Timi, i couldnt…
me: We are taking things slow..
Toun : what of Naetochukwu?
me: i dont knw o…since you really like him, you can have him…
Toun : Loool…Jafar came to see Abayomi this morning..
i dont know why, but hearing Jafar’s name, made my heart skip..
me : what was his visit about?
Toun : i dont know, but Abayomi wants you to meet him at noon at the main- campus..
The classes we has that morning was a torture. Toun and i didnt understand a thing that was said, our absence from class was taking its toll. I spent the rest of my time day-dreaming of Timi, he had promised to come pick me up after classes…i had the butterflies in my stomach…
I was with Abayomi as he had requested by noon. we were seated in the law faculty library. That was one of the most private places one could be at the Main-campus.
Abayomi : Tana i have a problem?
me : does it have anything to do with Jafar?
I didnt want Jafar to have a problem with us..As regards friendship, i didnt want to have to have to choose between Abayomi and Jafar..
Abayomi: No… not Jafar
me: Then what?
Abayomi : I think i might be responsible for Kofo’s pregnancy..
i laughed…there was nothing else to do than just smile…
Abayomi : What is funny?
me : i dont know…
Abayomi : she has promised to tell Toun about it..
me : Wow…i get,why you are scared now…
Abayomi : I need you to pay her a visit. i need you to convince her not to..
me : why me?
Abayomi : she respects you..she always told me so..
me : when you are digging her yh?
Abayomi : be serious please…i dont want Toun to break up with me…
me : she wouldnt jor…
Abayomi : she assured me that if my name was linked with kofo’s again, it would be over…
me : Okay, i will talk to Kofo…but we are not even sure that you are resppnsible…we all saw National pound her…
Abayomi : Please do it for me…
me : what did Jafar come for this morning?
Abayomi : He said Eli has been freed from Panti…and he was back in campus….
me : who is Eli…?
Abayomi : Like Jafar , he is the number 1 of another cult group…he had been arrested for possesion of weapons..
me : so why was he released and allowed back in campus?
Abayomi : He is important for the state Elections, his boys control Ijebu….Politicians payed for his release…
me : so how is that a problem?
Abayomi : He hates Jafar….
me : isnt that expected?
Abayomi : He is supporting National….Eli is very dangerous. Jafar wanted us to know….
Timi came for me as promised, he picked up Toun too, who we dropped at her apartment. I felt a bit uncomfortable keeping what Abayomi told me away from her. There were too many things i was keeping away from her, i didnt like it. I planned to visit Kofo later that night, but that was after i took a nap. Thoughts of Eli came to my mind on the way home..
Me : Timi, tell me about Eli..
Timi : What about Eli?
Me : i just want to know about him
Timi : First it was Jafar, now its Eli, whats up with you and this kind of guys?
Me : Abayomi told me he was released from prison and he is in National’s Camp…
Timi : serious?
Me : yep…so i need to know about him…
Timi kept looking sideways as he spoke…
Timi : he has been in this school for probably 7yrs.. he is one of those guys that isnt interested in graduation. There was a gist about him having a problem with one of his friends, after his friend thought they had sorted their ish out, he burnt the guy’s car. That was when he was in 100 Level. Another incidence was when he visited a guy in his house, unfortunately, the guy wasnt home, but his girlfriend was. it was reported that he brought out his pistol and commanded the girl to strip after which he raped her. On his way out he met the friend coming back in and hugged him, thanking him for Lunch.
I was dumbfounded, but Timi wasnt done..
Timi : there was a party that he wasnt invited to, but he went anyways…the party was held in a hotel. After eating and drinking, he went to the female rest-room and waited. An unfortunate girl came in to ease herself..he was hiding at d corner when the girl bent down to pee…He was said to just appear and told the girl not to stand up…that she should just turn around in the same position she was. He straffed her on the toilet, holding his pistol. when the tears filled girl reported to the host of the party, he said he was powerless…Before then Eli’s notoriety had become known around the school. Then the attacks didnt stop. Especially between his group and Jafar’s. That was before Jafar was number 1, the number 1 then was Dante..
Me : Dante has graduated?
Timi : nope, after too many deaths off campus, a truce was organised by the student union government under kakaki. Eli and Dante were said to have agreed to no violence for the entire semester. Eli was said to have hugged Dante, and all around was glad. After the talks, on the way home, Dante was attacked at Ago garage…the first shot killed Muski, his body guard..Dante brought out his gun to shoot but they were too much on him. Eli noticed that the bullets didnt seem to penetrate Dante, although it weekend him. He tried running but didnt go far before he was brought down. Cutlass was used on him but they left blunt marks , his body was fortified. So Eli told his boys to hold down Dante, while he told others to bring a spoilt car engine that was lying idle in the garage. The engine was lifted just above Dante’s head, then it was released.
His head bursted.
me : oh my God…
Timi : yes, Eli is devilish….
me :what problem does he have with Jafar? Abayomi told me he hates Jafar..
Timi : it was rumored that he had led a squad to take out Jafar. Jafar had been cornered in class when Eli bought out his pistol to kill him, people that were there said he told Jafar to beg for his life, same thing he told Dante before he killed him, but Jafar didnt, instead he raised up his hand, but as Eli looked at Jafar’s hands, Jafar buried the pen he was holding in Eli’s left eyes. With screams of pain,Eli shot blindly as Jafar ran out of the class through a window..he was chased down to the basketball court, that was were Uche got to him. Uche was with a pump-action that scared the s--t out of the assailants. In the hospital,Eli was placed under arrest for possesion of weapons, he was transferred to prison from the hospital…with an eye.
me : Wow…all these is getting scary Timi….
Timi : dont worry, i would protect you…
me : thanks…
It didnt seem right for me to tell Timi that it was Jafar i was worried about. i didnt want anything to happen to him…
To be continued

>>

Mr Chu from China & Mr Tiya from Korea came to India & setup a Firm. Till now, they have no Business & are still wondering why their firm: CHUTIYA & CO. failed?Related

Why Should I feel Bad?
Once, there was this guy, who was in love with a girl. She wasn’t the most beautiful and gorgeous but for him, she was everything. He used to dream about her, about spending the rest of life with her.
His friends told him, “Why do you dream so much about her, when you don’t even know if she loves you or not? First tell her your feelings, and get to know if she likes you or not”.
He felt that was the right way.
The girl knew from the beginning, that this guy loves her. One day when he proposed, she rejected him. His friends thought he would take alcohol, drugs etc and ruin his life.
To their surprise, he was not depressed.
When they asked him how was it that he is not sad, he replied, “‘Why should I feel bad? I lost one who never loved me and she lost the one who really loved and cared for her.”
True Love is Hard to Get. Love is all about giving to other person without greed of gaining anything in return, if other person rejects it, its him/her who will be losing the most important thing in life. So never feel dejected


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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NIGHTMARE EPISODE 3 (STORY BY DINDY)
Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story...
:
:
:
The creature pulled me by the leg, while the other licked my blood which was on the floor (my house was well tiled and the ground was smooth).
It pulled me until we got to the entrance of my parlour (my parlour was lower than the rest of my house); as it pulled me into my parlour my head landed with force to the floor which made my skull crack a little.
I started bleeding uncontrollable but not too much (I am sure the other creature will be happy because there would be more blood to lick). It pushed my front door down, and then it stood at the entrance of my house with it's hand still holding my leg---I don't know why it stood there; like it was expecting a taxi from the sky to pick us up, well I guess it stood there because it wanted me to feel pain more and more each passing seconds ---.
My house had an entrance staircase and it was made up of 5 levels (so you can imagine what happened to me), it pulled me with more force more than ever---mehn this creature just hated me so much I think its real name is pain-giver---.
My head was like a song and the staircase was a hit, back to back from the first to the last, (anybody that says that it didn't hurt me that person is a big time joker). My skull was now an open pool of blood (but I don't know how I managed to stay alive because the pain was too much and I lost so much blood).
It pulled me until we got to the front of my house gate then it left hold of my leg. There was a little sharp stone on the floor which my leg landed on, It cut a vein in my leg, I couldn't even feel it much because my brain was half way dead (mehn the pain kept increasing inside me each time I moved closer to death).
The two creatures commanded a door way to open, and when it opened all I heard were the sounds of lost souls with pain and sorrow.
Only God knows what is in there, I hope it is not another "NIGHTMARE"......to be continue.
STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected] Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi



>>

Girl: Honey, there's something I want us to talk
about. It's
so serious!
Boy: Please don't tell me you are
pregnant!
Girl: Am coming to stay with you because you know
my
mum will be mad at me and will not allow me to
stay with
her once she finds
out am pregnant *sobs*!
Boy: Listen, I don't want to know. I always gave you
the
money to buy E-pills.
Girl: But it can happen by accident! *sobs*
Boy: Accident my foot! Listen and listen well eh! I
don't
want to see your face in this house. Let me not see
you
come here!
Girl: OMG! So that's how heartless
you are huh? Thank God am not
pregnant!
Boy: baby you know...
Girl: Shut up! And as u said you will will never see
my face
in your
house!
Boy: am sorry...
Girl: *Smiles* sorry my foot....
SHOULD THE GIRL FORGIVE THE BOY?
1-YES.
2-NO.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-09 18:57:11

369 Views




Everyone must accept that we will age and age is not always flattering.

~ Amitabh BachchanRelated

These are the pictures of PDP rally @ calabar today 30th Jan, 2015

Good bless Mr. President















NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-30 15:19:11

217 Views




1. If you want to change the world, do it when you are a bachelor cause when you are married, you can't even change your TV channel
2. Listening to wifey is like reading the terms and conditions of a website, you don't understand anything but you still agree.
3. Chess is the only game in the world which reflects the status of the husband. The poor king can only take one step at a time... while the mighty queen does whatever she want!
4. All men are brave. Horror movie doesn't scare them, but 5 missed calls from wifey, surely.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-20 08:29:40

421 Views




Akpos went to church one Sunday, the pastor was sharing his testimony.
He started like this
“ Last week, I ran short of money. To the extent that I can not even provide food for my family. With faith, I told my wife lets go the supper market and buy some things.
“But you said you don’t have money ” said my wife.
I told her she should not worry that God will provide.
After picking the items we need, I joined the payment queue.
My wife looked at me and said “I can see you want to disgrace me, am going.”
After petting and expressing my strong feeling that God will make away, she calmed down.
When it was my turn to make payment, an old friend of mine entered.
He shouted my name, we hugged and shared life experience.
Just like a film, he paid for all my items and gave me 20,000 Naira to take care of my family.”
The whole congregations were screaming with joy. “Lord is good, Lord is faithful”
Akpos said to himself “I MUST TRY THIS”
The next day, Akpos appeared in a supper market without a penny.
He was parking any item he can lay his hands on.
When it was his turn to pay, the cashier said “Sir your money is N50,000”.
Akpos said “That’s a chicken change! Just give me a minute”
After 20min the cashier said to him again “Sir, you are taking too much time”
“Calm down, I will soon pay” Akpos replied
Few min later, an old friend he was owing N100,000 entered.
Akpos fainted.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-22 14:10:52

34088 Views




*******continue part ******

Mrs uche :i don't know what is wrong with amara, she has never behave like this before,i don't know what is that girl problem

Mrs ada Marcus :i am as surprised as you are,for amara to leave the house, ah it's unbelievable,but what are we going to do now.

Mrs uche :i don't know,am confused

Mrs ada Marcus :this is no time to be confuse,we have to do something to settle all this,maxwell is no longer himself, he barely stays at home this days and always comes back late drunk, the disappearance of amara is really affecting him

Mrs uche :you can't be serious

Mrs ada Marcus :you know maxwell loves amara so much, i am scared for my son,i don't want him to loose his mind all because of amara, i don't want him ending up killing himself

Mrs uche :God forbid

Mrs ada Marcus now sounds worried

Mrs ada Marcus :it is not God forbid,maxwell it's my son and i know what he can do when it comes to amara, so please try and do something ,i can't bare seeing my son this way.

Mrs uche felt the pain of mrs ada Marcus and she knew she had to do something not only to help her friend but to also help herself, she later left mrs ada Marcus house with the assurance for settling the problem at hand ,later in the night that same day she came up with a idea,she told Mr uche and he agreed to it,even if she knew it wasn't the best thing to do but they need to do it because that was the only way to see amara,she called Mrs ada Marcus to inform her of the new development,Mr uche then decided to call amara first thing tomorrow morning to break the new to her.

Morning finally came,and as usual chidi woke up and got prepared for work, Amara and chidi has been hanging out well,things has been moving smoothly and chidi knew in no time they will get together again,he now has no aim of going back to London, even if he is to return to London he won't go alone, as he came out of his room he met his mother close to his door,

Mrs Jonathan :i was about coming to your room

Chidi :good morning mum,how was your night

Mrs Jonathan :it was good and what about yours

Chidi h wonderful (with a smile on his face)what about dad

Mrs Jonathan :he is till in bed ,i woke up early so as to meet up with you,you know you always leave home early and come back late this days,and i am a bit surprised about that,mostly the late coming, i know you don't close at work that late but am not going to interfer in your personal life but I just hope what ever you are doing it should be something we your parents will be proud of

Chidif course mum,am not doing anything bad,okey,is that why you want to see me

Mrs Jonathan :that is not the reason I want to see you,it's about you and dora

The smile on his face suddenly disappear at the sound of the name dora,he has try not to come across her ever again in that house so why will his mother come this morning to spoil his happy mood,obviously dora might has complain to his mother,

Chidi :yes what about the both of us

Mrs Jonathan :chidi what is going on between you and dora

Chidi:why don't you ask her,is obvious she has given you the full details,so why ask me

Mrs Jonathan :she has

Chidi :did she put the part where she slapped me

Mrs Jonathan :yes she did and she is so sorry for her action,and she is apologising and the least you should do is to forgive her,you are really taking this too far

Chidi :i am taking it too far,well if you put it that way I have no problem with that,i really don't want to have anything to do with her not with what she did.

Mrs Jonathan :chidi,i don't see anything wrong with what she did,she only opened up her feelings to you,she only slapped you because she was provoked, every woman will do the same,even i your mother will,she's really in love with you and you she try and do the same

Chidi:mum,i like her yes I can't denied that but I can't end up getting married to her, i just can't, we can be good friends but husband and wife, hell no

Mrs Jonathan :why can't you marry her,she is beautiful, good mannered,she is a good cook and she is well educated i don't see anything wrong in her.

Chidi :i don't doubt that but I don't love her i don't even feel anything close to love for her

Mrs Jonathan :love is not the first thing before marriage,do you think I loved your father before i got married to him,no i didn't, i had someone i was in love with and could love to spend the rest of my life with but your father came into the picture and spoilt all my plans with my boyfriend then,he stole the heart of my parents and i was forced to marry your dad

Chidi couldn't believe his mum story, he was hearing it for the first time and he look surprised

Mrs Jonathan :it's the truth chidi you can ask your dad but today I am happy i obeyed my parents because your father turned out to be the best husband any woman would wish for,it is hard to believe but it's the truth

Chidi:well mum,that's between you and dad,mine is different, i know deep down inside of me that dora can never be the woman for me,there is no way I can imagine myself with her.

Mrs Jonathan key what is the reason, why can't you just try

Chidi:mum honestly,there is nothing she can do to pleases me,i am in love with someone else and my heart beat only for her

Mrs Jonathan now sound upset

Mrs Jonathan :then this your heart has a problem, i brought someone That i see fit to be recognised as one the Jonathan's family and you are telling me i made the wrong choice

Chidi took her mother hand,he need to calm him mum down so she can see reasons with him

Chidi :mum i am not saying that but I don't love her,i am in love with someone else

Mrs Jonathan :are you referring to the girl that came to spend days in this house

Chidi was surprise

Mrs Jonathan :yes I know, i was told

Chidi :who told you

Mrs Jonathan :chidi this is my house, i know everything that goes on here with or without my accents and with what I heard about her,the name Jonathan can never be added to her name,she is of low class

Chidi was unhappy to hear him mother refer to amara as low class but it was his mother what can he do

Chidi :mum,you haven't even seen her in person

Mrs Jonathan removed her hand from chidi's

Mrs Jonathan :i don't need to see her before i know what is good for my son,so you better start thinking about dora and leave that girl

Chidi:mum are you aware that you are not talking to a kid anymore, i am a grow man now and beside you are talking about low class mum with all the money I have and including the ones I will eventually inherit from my father i will be a billionaire, and you want me to also go for someone wealthy,that too much money for me what will my children be doing with all that,so if i marry some one below my class i don't see any problem with that,i am a man and i am allowed to make my own decisions, so mum this is my life and i will live it the way I choose, you should be helping me out

Mrs Jonathan :chidi i can now see you are out of your mind, what is the no you can't marry her you don't understand,how can the only son of Mr Jonathan marry a nobody, don't you know that will bring shame to this family, now listen to me if you want to have peace with me you better start using your head,you can't marry her that should better sink into your head,excuse me

She turned and walked out on chidi,chidi in the other hand was just short of words,he didn't know how to convince him mum to see reasons with him,the rest of his day was bad,he couldn't concentrate at work,most of his workers notice his sad mood especially his PA who tryed to find out what the problem was but chidi just told him it was a personal problem,he left work very early and went to visit amara,he knew has to calm himself and being with amara was the best idea,but amara was not at home,he called and she told him to wait for her that she will be home soon,he then has to wait for her in his car .

*****to be continued *****

>>

Rahul's POV

I could hear someone knocking on the bedroom door as I hugged the pillow and put it on my face and inhaled the familiar scent again. Everytime I did that I could feel the scent charging my body cells and the rush of blood making me feel alive.

"Give me ten minutes" I screamed to stop the sound of knocking from interrupting my happy mood. But then my eyes flew open as I searched for the source of the familiar scent.

Princess! Where's my princess? It can't be a dream. She was gone, leaving just her familiar scent behind.

I looked around and checked the bathroom but couldn't find her or her clothes. Suddenly a wave of sadness hit me and I crumpled onto the bed holding the pillow in fetal position. I closed my eyes to remember everything that happened since yesterday night to burn her memory inside me, till I find her again.

**Rahul's flashback **

Last month, after winning the precious Masters Golf championship, I promised my friends a grand party and to take them to Las Vegas for Halloween.

As promised, I and my friends made it to Vegas for Halloween. We had a great time hiking in Grand Canyon and going around Vegas sightseeing. We returned to the city on Halloween night, when Paul, one of my friends, surprised us with a big Roman theme party.

He arranged makeup artists and costumes for everyone, and I was supposed to be the emperor, as the party was in my honor. Everything was going well till I saw a bunch of unknown girls, who looked like models, arrive and change the entire atmosphere to kinky. I realized the girls were hired from some escort agency and were not friends of Paul.

Personally I am not against girls, actually I like them, but am against paying money to anyone for sex or entertainment. There are hundreds of girls who would be willing to party and have fun with us, hence I didn't feel the need to pay some escort service for girls. I immediately pulled Paul aside and asked him what was going on.

"ude chill, this is all for you. I had to arrange this on very short notice, so just asked an escort service I know, to provide some top models for company. Don't worry if you don't like anyone you saw till now, because for you, I have asked to send someone special, dressed up as princess. I am sure you will like her."

"Paul, you know, I don't approve of such things, so I can't be part of it."

"Guys I am going to my room. If my girlfriend gets a word about this, she is gonna cook me for dinner." My best friend Sam exclaimed raising both his hands defensively.

"Common guys, don't be party spoilers, just have fun with us and if you don't want to entertain with these girls, you can always get drunk and watch us." Rest of guys who were already flirting with the girls begged us to stay.

Since Sam was in a serious relationship, I asked him to leave and stayed behind drinking my beer and watching the fun. I told Paul to keep me out of the escort business and promised him, to stay for couple of hours and have some drinks with the chaps.

Just when I was planning to leave, I saw this girl dressed up like a princess, enter the suite and go towards the room Paul was in. I knew she was supposed to be my surprise date, but I didn't want to go against my principles. But something about her looked different, so I decided to hang out for another few minutes to see what happens.

Suddenly the girl emerged from Paul's room clutching the front of her dress and Paul and couple other guys were chasing her. For a second I thought she was playing hard to get, but when I looked at her face and into her eyes, I saw horror and fear. Realizing something was not right, I stood in her path to intervene the chase, but she not only crashed into me but hugged and latched onto me as if her life depended on it.



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Fainting things [Read it]


hahahahahaha, pple funny shaa
Jux cant believe my eyes dis morning.............
An okada just knocked a Girl down , we all rushed to help her,while she was on the floor helplessly with injuries shouting "my Phone!!!!! my phone!!!!!
Hoping she wants to call her family,we gave her the phone......
Immediately,shestood up,took a selfie of her self, log into facebook and upload the pix with the caption " JUx HAD AN ACCIDENT,FAINTING TINX ON MY MIND".
........immediately,she fainted.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-26 16:35:00

436 Views




crazy hommy as a mad man was thirsty. As he was coming down to the bole hole he found a long cue of women waiting to draw water.He knew dat doz ladies wont allow him to drnk water wthout atending the cue.

Finaly he thout of a plan. he tod the ladies that there is a truck that heat three cows on the road and they are sharing meet in the next villiage. All of them rush to the next villiage forgeting about drawing water.When hommy saw hw women were rushing to go and get some meat he tod him self 'ey may be i said the truth and these ladies wil get meat and i wont' he started runing aftr the ladies so dat him also should get meat without even drinking water. loliest! you can share me your jokes via whatsap pliz. +27604558226


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-20 19:18:06

580 Views



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