Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:






When akebaje realized that it was his turn to sit for the waec examination,he was not bothered because he relied on his father's money and connection which he believed would give him whatever he wanted.
when the examination came, Olawale tried his best in all the papers because he was determined to sit for the exams once and for all and proceed to get admission to the university.
by early July,the exams were over and everyone who took part was relieved except Olawale.this was because chief adigun was struck by a very terrible disease.what made Olawale very sad was that the family doctor had said in a low tone to olanike that he wasn't sure if chief would survive.
Olawale was beginning to think of how rough his life would turn out to be if his father died.he said to himself "why is this happening now that I need my father most?"he always stayed with his father in the his private ward at the hospital.after two months in the hospital, chief adigun was advised by doctor to go look for another cure for his ailment. At this chief adigun pointed a finger at Olawale in the presence of the doctor and said doctor who will take care of my son ?please I want to remain his father.I want to train him.if I die Olawale would suffer a lot.he said shaking his head in agony.he concluded by saying olanike o...LA..Nike uhm however olanike and akebaje were already cerebrating chief adigun's death.
Olawale knew his father would die. two days later chief adigun a very influential business man passed on to eternity. Olawale
wept bitterly when he remembered his father's words at the hospital. when everyone heard of chief adigun's death they were unhappy. even when one of his intimate friends chief sonaike heard that his most beloved friend had died he said sadly oh....h so what adigun said months ago was true.........?everyone present at that time waited for him to complete his statement.and finally he said a good tree does not last in the forest............ .
guess what olanike and akebaje did to Olawale ??








NAIRAJOKES.COM




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In WAEC examination,
Akpos was asked to
complete the following:
1) WAEC : He who fights and run away?
AKPOS : E don surrender be dat, na fear
catch
am
2) WAEC : A rolling stone?
AKPOS: No fit just dey roll, na person push
am..
3) WAEC : He who lives in a glass house?
AKPOS : Na rich politician ego be... 4)
WAEC :
A stitch in time?
AKPOS : Dey prevent further tear tear...
5) WAEC : Birds of the same feathers
AKPOS : Na de same mama born dem...
6) WAEC : One gud turn?
AKPOS : Na correct power steering fit do
am...
7) WAEC : A bird in hand?
AKPOS : Wetin e wan be again? If no be
barbeque....
Dem plenty for chicken republic
WAEC : Half a loaf is better than?
AKPOS : beans and gari, soaking without
sugar...
9) WAEC : A journey of a thousand miles?
AKPOS : Na de person wahala be dat,na
why
eno
enter car or aeroplane jeje...
10) WAEC : He who laugh last?
AKPOS: Get brain problem, make dem
examine am
bcs na beginning of madness be dat...
11) WAEC : A patient dog?
AKPOS : Na hunger go kill am...
12) WAEC : All work and no play?
AKPOS : Na bank job be dat bros... 13)
WAEC : Once beaten?
AKPORS : Na revenge go follow be dat..
*If you are the one to mark his scripts,
what
mark
will you score him out of 100


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-26 06:51:15

740 Views



small thief [Read it]


Akpos got to School late on Monday Morning and his teacher asked; Teacher: Why did u come late to skool?.
Akpos: One man lost 1000 naira note at the Bus Stop.
Teacherhhh…I see..were you helping him to look for the money?. Akpos: No!!..I DEY CRAZE…Na me stand on top d money since!(meaning am I mad?,I was the one standing on the money


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-22 15:30:13

966 Views




The next morning after breakfast, I
told the woman my story.
She intoduced herself as Lina, she
was touched by my story.
She offered me a job as her
househelp which I readily accepted.
Lina was a wonderful woman in her
early thirties.
She lived alone in her
mansion, though I wondered why.
She treated us as a family, enrolled
Eniola into school and all.
******
Life went on sweetly for us, we've
spent almost 8 months with Lina.
I was in my room one day counting
my savings, Lina paid me really well
and I also make some money out of
the money for house upkeeps.
"One..two..three..." I counted the
naira notes loudly. I summed it up.
"One hundred and fifty thousand?" I
gasped I shook my head disbelievingly and
recounted the money again.
"Wonderful!" I exclaimed.
"So Tejumola Benson can have this
huge money?" I asked myself again.
I did some dance steps happily.
I heard someone giggling, I turned
to see Eniola, she must have been
watching for long now.
"You, why are laughing like that.?" I
feigned a frown.
"Nothing." she laughed some more.
"come here" I beckoned to her, and
walked towards me.
I held her gently, looking at her all
over, my baby was growing fast.
"Mummy, why are you looking at me
like that?" she was smiling, her
dimples showing.
I shook my head gently, she looked
just like David, her eyes, the lashes,
the thick hair, those lips... "Mummy!" she pouted.
"Sorry" I said absent mindedly,
tucking my savings under my pillow,
I'd take it to the bank tomorrow.
"Sorry!" Eniola mimicked me.
She reminded me of my past trouble
making.
"hey! Don't be like mummy!" I
chided her.
She laughed again.
"here lil' princess" I placed her on
my laps. She froze momentarily.
"Mummy? Am I a princess?" she
asked looking confused. "Yea baby."
"My daddy is a King?" she asked
innocently.
"Yes." I laughed.
"Wow!" she jumped off my laps.
"mummy why don't I see him? He
doesn't like me?" she asked again.
"Your daddy loves you" I wasn't
sure I said that.
"I've never seen him before, has he
seen me before?" her voice was low.
"Now, baby, that's enough." I tried
to hold her.
"Mummy, I wish I can see my daddy,
my friend in school have a daddy, he
buys her icecream...and..." her voice
trailed off in despair.
I was shocked, Eniola has never
spoken that way before. I was short
of words.. "Eniola, go and play!" I told her,
atleast to end this discussion.
"No mummy, I can't play." her eyes
glinted, I saw the pains in there.
"Baby..whats going on..?" I
whispered, "Mummy, I want to tell you
something..." she searched my eyes.
"Talk, mummy is listening." she hesitated.
"C'mon sweerie.." I urged her.
"Mummy...Its Akpan.." she started. Akpan? Akpan was Lina's
gateman.
I
sensed trouble. "Mummy?" "I'm listening, baby talk to mummy."
I assured her.
"he use to catch me if I'm playing."
she flipped.
"Catch you? As how?" i was
confused. "He use to hold me and tell me to
come and play with him, he use to
rub my head and...."she hesitated.
"Baby, go on," I was losing my
patience. She didn't speak again, she had fear
written all over her face. "baby mi, tell mummy" I said
soothingly. "I...I...today in the morning..he catch
me again...he now put his hand
inside my pants...it pain me very
well...I now started crying...he now
say I should not tell my mother" she
concluded. I could'nt believe what I heard...the
whole world came to a stand still... I
looked at Eniola, her face full of
sorrow and pain, that look was to
much for a five year old. "Mummy sorry.." she sniffed I never
noticed she was crying. Akpan dared took advantage of my
daughter's innocence. Na curse?!!
"Akpan!" I yelled as I stamped out of
my room. "Akpan o...where are you
Murderer!" "Mummy!" Eniola tugged at my skirt. I didn't look at
her, I would show
Akpan he tampered with my
Jewel....I'll castrate him




NAIRAJOKES.COM




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BREAKING NEWS [Read it]


BREAKING NEWS:the federal government of nigeria has announced that today is thursday 25th of june 2015,and tomorrow is Friday 26th of june 2015..thanks for listening..no public holiday


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-25 14:22:25

700 Views




Wezzy.bm
Wezzy.bm
GOOD GUY TURN BAD
HTTP://FACEBOOK.COM/wezzybmtnsb
1
I'm just a regular guy, huh like some other guys who work hard to survive in this so called cruel world, you know not all guys work hard to survive some go for the easy way, while some take it the hard way, while some take it the way they see it, not trying to make a change rather the creat excuses and always have a story to tell, you have a story to tell, I have a story to tell, we all have stories to tell. the funny thing is that you're telling someone your life story and they still got a whole week to narrate Thiers to you. "something just don't change, something change something" and that means something we're yet to figure out. a Chinese adage says " those who are meant to meet each othere are connected by an invisible thread" and I guess that means we just don't meet people by chance or by mistake we were meant to meet each other and there's also a wise sayin that keeps me thinking "there are three types of friend you should be aware of, those who will lead you into temptation, those who will rescue you or stay with you in the temptation, and those who will ran away from you when you are in the temptation" keep watch and know which of your friend according to this category. we all know it hard to survive in a cruel world like this but it's either you change it or live it the way you found it.
am just a regular guy who have big dreams and hoping to archive , if you are breathing you still have hope so rebuke when anybody says you are hopeless. I work hard every day to make sure I archive my big dreams, am popularly known as wezzybm or Kele to most of my friends, as a young teenager back than I made a lot of mistakes but the best thing ever happen to me is learning from them. you know the best teacher is learning from other people's mistake but making the same mistakes they made after learning from them and keeps on telling your self "if I had known" my brother or sister you are a fool. as a young teenager I'm than, turning nineteen had a lot of fun in my high school days and I have always being a play boy and that builds my reputation among other guys being so cunning and trickish back then was my type hanging around with so many girls never really had one to be called my girlfriend and all my guys had known me for a kinda bad guy I'm . but my pride than no ever girl has ever trick me like gossiping about " duh I have eaten this stupid guy broke" am then master plan that's got me nick name brain master "Bm" but every thing change when I met this girl.......
stay tune for the next part .. like + share
# goodguyturnbad
Wezzy.bm.....
writer ::: wezzybm
like the page above


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 A father saw his son with axe one day.
"What are you doing with that axe?" asked the father
"I just just used it to cut down the mango tree at back of the house" replied the son.
"You idiot, be careful" says the father.

Teacher: Who can tell me why his father did not beat him?
Akpos blurted "The father wan die?"
Teacher: "How?"
Akpos: "Are you blind? can you see that the boy is holding axe".



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-27 15:03:41

904 Views




These Are The Reasons Some Guys Don’t Have or
Want Girlfriends
Cost
Ladies’ handbag – N7000
Men’s wallet – N700
Ladies’ fixing of hair – N5000 Men’s haircut – N200
Ladies’ fixing of nails – 1k
Men’s Blade – N10
Ladies’ set of Bra – N5000
Men’s singlet – N500
Set of G-string – N15, 000 Men’s boxers – N500
Ladies’ make-over kit – N10,000
Men’s handkerchief – N50
Time
Men’s spent time to dress up – 20mins
Ladies’ spent time to dress up – 1:30mins Men’s time to get haircut – 30mins
Ladies’ time to get braids fixed – 2days
#Now be the judge...#AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-11 00:53:22

1124 Views




If in the after life there is not music, we will have to import it.

~ Domenico Cieri EstradaRelated

I went to aba to see my brother yesterday, as I
was about to go he gave me 20,000 and said
use it for your transport as I entered bus
coming to Onitsha I gave them the transport
money (20,000) when I got home I called my
brother demanding for feeding money he
asked me wat of the 20,000 he gave me I told
him I use it for transport just as he instructed
he then he said am so foolish pls friends tell
me wasn't I obedient enough? Or am I truly
foolish?





NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-08 19:02:33

628 Views




There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.

~ Colin PowellRelated

I logged out of facebook and went to prepare myself for the job.
I wore one very short mini skirt and a very low top that revealed my cleavage. Then I slipped my feet into my 8inches high-heel shoe.
By 6pm I was ready.
I took a cab to Valentino hotel and arrived around 6.45pm; 15minutes earlier to my stipulated time.
The last thing I wanted to hear was that I came late and someone else snatched the deal from me. So I had to get there early to avoid stories that touch.
The receptionist was a young lady in her early 20s, very beautiful and smart-looking.
I had changed my business name from Cindy to Rosy after that Alhaji experience.
As soon as I got to the receptionist’s desk she looked up and asked:
“Rosy right?”
“Yea Rosy,” I replied.
“I’m Rita, the Chief receptionist,” she said stretching out her right hand.
I wrapped my fingers round her outstretched hand and our palms met in a warm handshake.
“You’re here for Ray, right?”
“Ray?”
“Yes Ray, the guy that just arrived from the States,” she explained.
“Yea I’m here for Ray.”
“Join him in room 302,” the receptionist said pointing towards the corridor.
I followed her direction and soon got to room 302. Then I tapped gently on the door.
“Come in,” a polished masculine voice responded from inside. I swung the door open and went in.
A young man barely 30years old sat on a sofa at the right hand corner of the room. He was dark in complexion with a flat nose but nonetheless well groomed. He had this aura of America all over him and I almost fell in love just by looking at him.
“Ray right?” I asked still standing at the door.
“Yea I’m Ray, what about you?”
“I’m Rosy,” I replied.
“Oh the sweet Rosy I’ve been dying all day to meet!” He exclaimed with excitement. He stood up and came closer to me and gave me a warm hug.
“You’re highly welcome dear,” he said. “Hope you didn’t have much trouble locating my room?”
“Not at all,” I replied feeling very relaxed.
Ray was the typical example of the kind of man I wanted in my life. The way he spoke and carried himself endeared him to me and our conversation flowed.
It was true that one of the rules of this our business strictly abhored falling in love with a client but I couldn’t help it.
This particular client was one in a million; visually enchanting and vocally appealing.
He opened his fridge and brought out Chivita juice and offered to me with a clean glass tumbler. I poured out the Chivita onto the glass tumbler and took a sip. The juice was well chilled and very sweet. I gulped down two glasses in quick succession and quickly refilled my glass for the 3rd gulp.
The 3rd glass was halfway gone when I started noticing some funny drowsy feeling all over my body.
Ray kept silent glancing at me at intervals which I failed to notice initially.
It was then that it dawned on me that the juice was drugged and by that time, it was too late for me to do anything.
“Please can I use your toilet?” I asked politely getting up from my seat.
“Sure you can,” Ray replied pointing at a door located at the other end of the room.
I stood up to go to the toilet but fell back to my seat nearly hitting my head on the wall behind.
“Don’t stress yourself dear let me help you,” Ray offered and gently carried me onto the bed instead of the toilet.
He took of my clothes one after another and I was so weak and drowsy to resist.
“What have you done to me?” I asked breathlessly staring into his eyes.
Ray smiled.
“Relax,” he said pulling off my panties with one clean sweep. “I won’t take long.”
In my intoxicated condition, Ray parted my legs and drove vigorously into my warm pu$$¥.
I was too weak to resist and two drops of tears fell out of my eyes.
Fiki faka fiki faka, he plunged in and out of my pu$$¥ with reckless abandon.
I felt deep pain in my lower abdomen as the head of his thick phallus continuously struck the entrance of my womb.
For more than 30minutes he continued like this without break.
Then gradually the room grew darker and darker before my eyes and before I knew what was happening, I had drifted unto unconsciousness…

>> Episode 16 -

70 Saal Ka Budha Doctor Se Milne Gaya Aur Pucha



Budha: “Dr. Saab, Meri Umar Mein S*x Style Kya Hona Chahiye?”



Dr: “Dogy Style”



Budha Confuse Hoke: “Aapka Matlab Piche Se?”



Dr: “Nahi, Sirf Soonghna Aur Chaatna“Related

Akpos and two of his friends died in a car crash, they went to heaven to an orientation. They were all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?

The first guy Abraham said, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy James said, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."

Akpos replied, "I would like to hear them say, 'LOOK, HE'S MOVING!!!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-08 09:21:23

397 Views



Josey and Joe [Read it]


Josey wasn't the best pupil at
Sunday school. She often fell
asleep and one day while she
was sleeping, the teacher asked
her a question. "Who is the
creator of the universe?" Joe was
sitting next to Josey and decided
to poke her with a pin to wake
her up. Josey jumped and yelled,
"God almighty!" The teacher
congratulated her. A little later
the teacher asked her another
question, "Tell me who is our
lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey
again and she yelled out, "Jesus
Christ!" The teacher
congratulated her again. Later on
the teacher asked, "What did Eve
say to Adam after their 26th
child?" Joe poked Josey again
and she shouted, "If you stick
that thing in me again, I'll snap it
in half and stick it up your ass!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-05 23:00:17

742 Views



Facebook things [Read it]


Me: Hi Angel?

Girl: No Reply.

Me: Romantic Angel.

Girl: No Reply.

Me: Sweet angel I love you.

Girl: Thank you. Please do you know how to block person for facebook?

Me: Hahahaha it's a small thing, but why na, you want to block person?

Girl: Yes!, so tell me.

Me: Okay, just click the person timelime, scroll down, you will see where they wrote it.

Girl: Okay!

Me: Na so.

(8 minutes later),

Girl: I'm in your timeline now, but i can't find the place.

Me: You said what? My timeline?

Girl: Yes, you disturb alot.

Me: My sister, facebook people just called me now, and told me they've removed the place.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-13 10:38:09

322 Views




Ekaitte: Baby do u still luv me like
before?
Akpos: Yes luv! My luv for u will
never change.
Ekaitte: Dats my babyyyy. I want
u to buy me somtin.
Akpos: Just name it
Ekaitte: It's just one BB porsche
sha.
Akpos: No problem. Just find out
d price and let me knw.
Ekaitte: It's N450,000.
Akpos: Is it manual or
authomatic? Is it still in a good
shape, as in, d engine. Have u
checked d fuel consumption too?
Ekaitte: Honey, its not a car o. It's
a phone.
Akpos: Phone?!!!!!!!!! !!!!! Dat
means it will have a fridge,
generator set, plasma and a
wardrobe, shey?
Ekaite: Are u buyin it or not?
Akpos: Pls am not o! I can't!
Ekaitte: Helloooooo!
Akpos: Hiiiiiiiii!
Ekaitte: Dnt even bother again. I'll
call Alhaji to get it for me dis
evening.
Akpos: Better still, call Atiku, he
will be faster.
Ekaitte(sad, cry): 'am goin to
delete u.
Akpos: Is ur fone hanging? Cos I
have deleted u since u mentioned
porsche.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-05 20:26:50

469 Views



Blow ur Grammar [Read it]


Shey u sabi Grammar ? Oya try dis one
.
Whn u cook a meal nd water is too
much..we say its WATERY
.
Whn pepper is too much..we. Say its
PEPPERY
.
Whn salt is too much.. We say its SALTY
.
When maggi is too much..we cal it....?
.
Oya blow grammar


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-26 21:24:34

348 Views



Dont laugh. [Read it]


Japan invented a machine that can a catch a thief. They took it to america, it caught 30 thieves in 5mins, they took it to canada it caught 65 thieves in 8mins, they took it to france it caught 600 thieves in 20mins, they took it to ghana it caught 524 thieves in 3mins, they took it to london it caught 2000 thieves in 25mins. They brought it to NIGERIA, and the machine was stolen in 2mins. I said dont laugh.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-14 22:40:32

232 Views




If you are to chose your val among Nairajokers,
Who will you chose?

Note: It most not be opposite sex
Anyone you enjoys his/her jokes,stories,comments so much


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-13 10:05:51

262 Views




I lighted the stove immediately and put some
water into the kettle and placed it on the stove.
“Hope you’ve put the water?” My madam shouted
from the sitting room.
“Yes ma,” I replied twisting my fingers in fear.
“Come and wash off these napkins
immediately,” she ordered sending me running
into the sitting room.
She handed me the soiled napkins and I zoomed
off with it into the bathroom to wash it.
I had barely soaked the napkin into the water
when I heard madam’s voice dishing out another
instruction.
“I will skin you alive if you continue wasting my
kerosene in this house!” She bawled. “Or do you
want to tell me that you don’t know that this hot
water is boiling?”
“Sorry ma,” I replied.
“Sorry for your stupid self!” she fired back.
I instantly rinsed my hands and rushed to the
kitchen to bring down the hot water.
I didn’t know where the pap I was to prepare
was, so I went to the sitting room to ask madam.
“Ma please where is the pap?” I asked trembling
with fear.
“Idiot the pap is there!” She fumed pointing at the
fridge.
I went to the fridge, brought out the pap,
prepared it and took it to her in the sitting room.
Then I went to the bathroom to continue with the
napkin.
The baby’s cry filled the entire house and I soon
heard my madam’s voice calling me.
“Adaeze!” She called.
“Yes ma,” I replied rinsing my hands once again
and running into the sitting room.
“Sing for her, sing for her,” she urged.
“Fine baby don’t cry, fine baby don’t cry,” I broke
into an unrehearsed song.
Fortunately for me, the baby stopped crying and
listened to my song as she gulped down the
warm pap.
When she was done, I carried the plate into the
kitchen and washed it off and then went to the
bathroom to finish up with the soaked napkin.
Soon, baby went to sleep and madam went to
sleep too and I had little time to myself…

Drop your comments below







NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Din bhar kitna bhi kyun na ghoom

lo ….

sabse hot ladki tabhi dikhegi

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jab gharwalo ke sath bazaar jaoge…!! ????Related

Hahahahaha!!! This my facebook friend is back again
with her English;

1. My God is upsome!

2. Thank God for a brown
new day!

3. What is strong with you?

4. Not all that glitters are
goats!

5. Majority carries the volt
(Not only volt, transformer too, abi?)

6. May your name be highly exhausted!

7. My waste is paining me!

8. Thank God for spearing
my life (With arrow, abi with dagger?)

9. Why are people so weekend?

10. Lord! you are the killer
that holds my life!

11. Please, how much is your
age?

12. Look to the window, the principal just passed
away (You were the one that killed him abi?)

13. Lord let your wheel be
done.

Please you can add yours


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-08 11:29:51

693 Views



THE END IS NEAR [Read it]


A Reverend father and a Pastor from
Redeem Christian Church of God were
standing by the side of the road holding
up a sign that reads, “The End is Near!
Turn yourself around now before it’s
too late!” They planned to hold up the sign to
each passing motorist. “Leave us alone
you religious vagabonds!” yelled the
first driver as he sped by. From around
the curve, they heard screeching tires
and a big splash. “Don’t you think,” said the Pastor to the
Reverend father, “We should just put up
a sign that says, ‘The Bridge is Out’
instead?”


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-11 21:05:28

473 Views




JOKE BY DINDY
Girl: Have you ever had a dream about being a lesbian?.
Dindy: Yes I have.
Dindy: But the weird thing was that I saw you and my street dog getting down…
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi
JOKE BY DINDY
Girl: Where would you like being touched the most?.
Dindy: Shit girl that question just turned me on.
Girl: [Smiling] tell me jare.
Dindy: I would like to be touched deep down my ear hole.....
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-11-19 22:14:38

133 Views




I wanted to use my ATM
card but the machine kept on rejecting the card. A frustrated
me called my bank help line.
Akposangrily) So what's
wrong with my ATM card.
Call girl : Sir, I have checked your
account, everything
is alright here and You should be
able to use your
card, are you sure your card is
not damaged or broken?
Akpos: Are you insane? What are
you insinuating? No
one takes good care of their ATM
card like I do.
Call girl: Okay Sir, are you also
sure the surface isn't
wet or stained with dirt?
Akpos: You dey mad? ATM card
wey I dey pet like egg. As a matter of fact, I even laminated it last week when I laminated my Identity card.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-01 14:58:53

783 Views



Stingy man [Read it]


A man was invited to a wedding. When he reached the hotel, he found two doors written on them:

1. Bride's relatives
2. Groom's relatives

He entered the groom's door and found two doors again.
1. Ladies
2. Men

He entered the men's door and found two doors again.
1. People with gifts
2. People without gifts

He entered the second door (people without gifts) and
He found himself outside the hotel.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-20 19:17:55

821 Views




Kitna Pyaar Diya Usse Par Mila Kuch Bhi Nahi..

Itni Gehri Chahat Ka Hasil-O-Hasool Kuch Bhi Nahi..

Woh Humse Khafa The To Jaan Nikal Gayi Thi Hamari..

Hum Unse Khafa Hai To Unko Malaal Kuch Bhi Nahi..

Is Kadar Dukh Diye Hai Na Jaane Kis Khata Par..

Par Hum Bhi Sabar Kar Gaye Aur Kiya Sawal KuchBhi Nahi..

Uski Khushi Mein Hansne Wale Khaas Hai Uske Liye..

Dukh Mein Uske Saath Hum, Hamari Misaal KuchBhi Nahi,…..Related

When am sitting down in my room i receive a caal dat i should comme to lagos to come amd crack jokes dey say how much is the money i tell dem #35000 dey said i should send my account dat dey will send it as i hear dis my body dey shake i did not kmow d program dey call me for wen i reåched dere it was burial ceremony but God tell me say son go ahead i call you i started dey crack jokes faces started dey change people start dey laugh dey laugh,people laugh suddenly d dead body dat was lying down wake up start dey laugh everybody has ran away remain me and d dead body d deady body say shakiti you no kill person ooooooo


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-28 13:22:24

361 Views




RAPE EPISODE 11 (STORY BY DINDY)
Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story.
After some months my mum divorced him because she caught him with 5 different women in the house, I was very happy that it happened because i was absolutely free from all what he was further planning to do to me, I was over joyed.
We moved out of that bastard's house to another place, the new house we moved into was very close to my school, it was easy for me to always be close to my friends.
After some months life started becoming complicated for me, it started one night.
I and blessing were sleeping when I started dreaming of my fantasy world where everything was ok and fine for me, but every thing started changing, the ground started vanishing bit by bit, I tried to stay away from the vanished side of the ground but it keep coming closer and closer to me.
The ground vanished until there was no more ground to stand on again except on the side where I stood, a ladder came from no where which appeared on the wall, I quickly jumped and held on to the ladder and started climbing it, the more I climbed up the ladder the more I see total darkness.
I started seeing light and was totally joyed, the light turned into fire trapping me, the fire was coming down to me.
I quickly moved down the ladder as fast as i could, then suddenly everything turned up side down, the fire that was up turned down and I was upside down. I was shocked and very afraid, I tried to turn but I almost fell into the fire causing me confusing.
I was totally trapped like a rat in a pit of decayed excrete, the fire became more bigger and it was coming up my way with more speed, I quickly arranged myself properly as I climbed up (upside down) using my legs, my head started swelling up because blood was going only to my head and my eyes became dizzy, I mistakenly missed a step, then fell down into the fire.
Suddenly i landed on my bed, I was relief and said "thank God it was a dream, I looked beside my bed but I could not find Blessing, i was about to stand up to-go-to the toilet but suddenly that bastard (Step dad) appeared in front of me.
I was shock and afraid, my mind was no more there again, I urinated on myself. I wanted to roll off the bed but he placed his hands on both sides of the bed trapping me, my fear became tripled then I started crying, begging and pleading.
His eyes were totally red and he said "I am here to rape you", he was about to get on me when....
I woke up breathing very heavily, my head was all swollen and my eyes felt like falling off, my mind was in the cloud and my heart was at my back, so was my spirit filled with fear.
I looked at myself and I saw urine on my bed, I felt so ashamed of myself then I said "Oh GOD why did this happen to me", tears started coming down my eyes. I cried and cried for minutes forcing sleep to fled away from my eyes and making my emotions upside down.
I started blaming and cursing myself for what happened to me and wished I had took a knife to kill myself (That was my thought at that moment), I was so angry and annoyed with myself.
The nightmare didn't end there, it kept on coming back to me every now and then, I dreamt of it in different types of ways and situations but still the same incident, I always woke up blaming and cursing myself each time.
As time went on, my situation became worst; there was a day I was in the parlour watching tv alone when my mind flashed back to what that basterd (step dad) did to me. I starting crying again, I cried so hard that my eyes became red, Blessing was knocking on the door but I couldn't hear because I was lost in pain, and was talking to myself as I cried in pain and sorrow.
I don't know how I came back to my senses and i heard blessing knocking, I quickly cleaned the tears off my eyes and went to open the door. I quickly opened the door and left because I didn't want Blessing to see my red eyes, Blessing was talking but I didn't pay attention because i wanted to-go-to my room.
I knew that she was going there so I changed my mind and went to the backyard to cry, when I got there i sat on the floor and continued crying until there was no more tears in my eyes.......to be continue.
STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected] Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi







NAIRAJOKES.COM




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BROKEN SEAL
EPISODE 13

voice: hmmmm-hummm *clears
throat*
Me: (oh! Who is that anti-wow
moment? Mtcheeeew)
Ella and i disengaged
immediatly. We both turned to
face the direction where the
voice came from.
Lo it was ma’am Kate (Ella’s
mum) she was smiling broadly.
Me: (why did you interrupt?)
uhm…..goo…goodday ma’am
Ella: mother?
Kate: how are you son? You
came around and didn’t care to
check on me?
Me: (is that why you had to
interrupt?) i was about doing
that, its not up to 10mins i
came you know.
Kate: i see, won’t you come in?
Me: no ma’am its nice out here,
we just wanna get some fresh
air.
Kate: hmmmmm.
She replied then picked god
knows what from the ground
before going back inside.
Ella and i started laughing
when ma’am kate was
obviously out of sight.
We continued talking, about
nothing serious though.
We didn’t kiss again, i guess
someother day would be a
perfect time for that.
Its now few minutes past
10pm, i told ma’am kate i’d be
on my way, she bade me
farewell.
Ella and i walked some metres
out of the compound, i then
gave her a soft peck on the
forehead before she left.
Well Ella left, i was hearing
strange footsteps behind me
but when i turn back i would
see nobody, now is this
spiritual or something?
My instincts told me i was
being followed but by who and
why? Dunno!!!
I strode to my car, hopped in
and sped off.
Yeah i drove real fast, basically
for two reasons, first i was
kinda scared, second Isai is
waiting for me at home!
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Shìt! Adrian spat out, he never
knew his target was with a car,
what do i do now? Boss would
surely get mad!
Rodelio had earlier told him to
follow Isaiah and find out
where he lives, what he does,
his family and so on. Adrian’s
phone rang, he didn’t want to
pick at firs ‘coz the caller was
Rodelio, but he kicked against
that idea.
*on the phone*
Rodelio: what information did
you get?
Adrian: sorry boss, i lost him.
Rodelio: what!!??
Adrian: ……..
Rodelio: meet me tomorrow by
4pm!
Adrian: yes boss.
::::::: CEBU :::::::::
*on the phone*
Angelo: hi dear, how are the
states and your studies?
Nikky: everything is fine
dad…..dad guess what!
Angelo: you are out of cash?
Nikky: wrong! I’d be coming to
the philippines real soon.
Angelo: thats great news! Your
done with your final
examinations?
Nikky: yes dad.
Angelo: very good, i gotta go
now.
Nikky: bye dad.
Carolyne, Nikky’s mum strode
from the kitchen, still in her
cooking apron, she was wiping
her hands with a napkin.
She loves cooking, though they
have a chef in the house.
Cooking is her hobby, she does
it whenever shes free.
Carolyne, (as a typical filipina)
is 5’7 tall, she has long dark
hair, pink lips and very pretty
oval face.
Unlike her husband, she is slim
and less hairy.
She sat on a sofa, next to her
husband.
Carolyne: who was that?
Angelo: our daughter!
Carolyne: (smiling) really?
Whats up with her?
Angelo: she’d be in philippine
in a matter of days.
Carolyne: finally! Oh how i
miss her so much.
Angelo: me too.
Maid: (interrupting) sir, ma’am
dinner is served.
Angelo: thanks, you can go
now.
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Tomas: Nenita? Nenita?
Nenita!!! Where are you?
Tomas called out.
Nenita is a little girl in the
orphanage. They (Tomas &
Nenita) are fond of each other,
Nenita was dumped in the
orphanage about 4years ago.
Though still a kid, shes
wonderful, wise and caring.
She always take care of Tomas
in her own little way, she calls
him her daddy.
Since this morning, Tomas
haven’t heard from her, whats
wrong? Its unlike her to fail
being with him.
He’s missing her already!
He was still engrossed in his
reverie when he heard the door
open.
Tomas: Nenita?
Voice: its me, ma’am Naomi!
Tomas: great! Have you seen
Nenita around?
Naomi: no! I was thinking
she’s here with you, reason i
came checking.
Tomas: i’m scared, hope
nothing bad happened?
Naomi: hope so, what do we do
now?


>>

Boy: “Sweetheart, I Have Two Tickets Of English Movie Wanna Come?”



Girl: “Which Movie?”



Boy: “Cxndom Of Shailesh”



Girl : “You Idiot Its Quantum Of Solace.“Related

SUNDAY GIST [Read it]


SUNDAY GIST.

I was going to an event last weekend and I alighted
from the bus at obasanjo bustop of sango otta. this
bus stop/junction has a general hospital at the right
hand side and a police station at the left hand side. its
a popular place that people around otta/idiroko road
should know.
when I got to this junction, I was surprised to see an
evangelist/ preacher standing at this junction with a
megaphone in his hand preaching the gospel. I don't
really have any problem with him preaching the gospel,
but I was shocked that his gospel was more of
confessions, he was saying how he used to be a
notorious criminal, how he robbed people at gun point,
how he raped a lot of young ladies and how he used to
be a cultist before he got born again and turned a new
leaf. I was surprised that there was a police patrol at
the junction controlling vehicles and also a police
station right beside this preacher. I left the spot, went
for the wedding and returned 3 hours later and I was
shocked to see this same man preaching without been
arrested to interrogate his past actions been confessed
by him publicly. so I wanted to ask this questions
1. is there immunity for any pastor who was once a
criminal?.
2. is there a law saying past criminal turn pastors
shouldn't be investigated or arranged for trial?
Over to you guys what is your own view?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-21 18:20:45

600 Views




NAMELESS (EPISODE SIX) STORIES DA VIBA
Please do not share without taking permission from us, thanks for reading.
:
:
:
As they searched through the thick bushes, [the baby] was no where to be found. She cried as she pleaded and followed her husband closely praying he'd be found (that was the same place he was picked from when he was just few months).
"He is lost, probably to kidnappers or an animal, he is lost", Mr Godson said in grief.
Lady Miriam, couldn't contain her wicked act, She was ashamed to stand her husband. She had given in to the suggestion of her old highschool friend and now she's paying the price. This might certainly tear her family apart but she couldn't turn the clock backwards. What had been has been and she could not reverse the clock.
She cried, bitterly regretting every act which led to the child's demise.
When they returned, their home was as quiet as a grave yard. She laid her child (who had been sleeping in the car) on the bed and felt the pain of her actions the more.
Lady Miriam went in search of him every morning, She asked everyone she could find around that village but her efforts were null and void.
"I forgive you", her husband finally said after a few days.
"We should just pray he's not in the hands of rebels", said her husband.
.......BACK IN TIME.......
--The first day, they picked him up (fainted) in the bush, he was knocked down by a dog which left some marks on his bum.
As he cried, his tiny voice was just as loud as silence, but his tears truly ran flushing his cheeks as if there was an ocean of tears storming in his infant head.
They cleaned him up and tried to put him to bed after he was fed with the available not-too-pleasant dinner. They believed he was a star; such a handsome healthy-looking child who was probably around four years of age (Their care and concern was really genuine).
[Poor charity personnel] They took care of him as much as they could. The motherless babies home, was now his new home but the comfort and provision was really limited (The care was evenly distributed to lots of children and they all managed to survive).
The name of the child still remained anonymous, the charity personnel tried calling him a name but his response wasn't encouraging, his fellow territories started calling him "BOY" which he affirmed through his response.
The personnel, swayed by the single act condensed to call him "BOY".....to be continue.
This story is brought to you by Stories Da Viba and was written by;
1). Nonsegzy
2). Evybliss
3). Princeprezide
4). Dindy
5). Blexxybaby
6). Nelly
Watch out for episode 7, your comments are needed... Please like our page on facebook "Stories Da Viba".


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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WEEWEECHU [Read it]


me and my girlfriend went for a good time @ the beach..
soon she held my hand pull me closer and kissed me...
GIRLFREND: little jeez..(I answered yes my love)
she continued: you know that I love you very much and there is nobody here, just me n u! Let us do weeweechu..
I looked around there was nobody
PLS DEAR I JUST WANT to hold your hands I am sorry.
she wink and after two minutes she pushed me down on the sand and bounced on me as she repeated : sweetheart lets do weeweechu na ...but I stil persisted; my heart i only want to b in your arms 4 today

After About 30 Seconds She Couldnt Bear It Again DARLING ITS NOT FAIR ..since last year oh..
reluctantly I agreed..she jumped with joy kissed me and went to open the bag.
next thing she was on d piano and me on d guitar TUNING n SINGING: WEEWEECHU a merry christmas
WEEWEECHU A merry christmas
WEEWEECHU a merry christmas
and A HAPPY NEW YEAR
*** >< ><

God Bless your Dirty Mind
what were you thinking?

Am just trying to WEECHU merry xmas in advance

kindly wish me d shame







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-28 10:29:35

715 Views



FeAr GoD [Read it]


Several years ago, a preacher from a distant town
accepted a call from a church in Leeds. Some weeks
after his arrival, he had an appointment that made
him to board a bus to another part of the town.
When he sat down, he discovered that the driver
had mistakenly given him his balance in excess of 50 pence. As he considered what to do, he thought
within him, 'You'd better give this money back. It
would be wrong to keep it'. Then another thought
came, "Oh, forget it, it's only 50p; who would worry
about this little amount, afterall the bus company
makes so much money on fares; they will never miss it. Accept it as 'a gift from God' and keep quiet.
"When he was getting down from the bus, he
paused momentarily at the door, and then handed
the 50p to the driver and said, 'Take; the balance
you gave me was over'. The driver, with a smile,
replied,'Aren't you the new preacher in town?' 'Yes I am' he replied.'Well, I have been thinking a lot
lately about where to go to worship. I just wanted
to see what you would do if I give you balance in
excess. I'll worship with you at the church this
Sunday. When the preacher stepped off the bus, he
grabbed a nearby electric pole, looked up and said, "Oh God, I almost sold your Son for 50 pence". Our
lifestyles are the only Bible some people will ever
read. Always be on guard -- and remember --
You're an ambassador of Christ if you profess to be
a Christian.
'Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your
actions; they become habits. #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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A woman in hot air balloon realized she is lost…

She reduced altitude & shouted to a man below: Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend to meet him an hour ago but I don’t know where I am.

Man below replied: You are in hot air balloon 30 feet above the ground. You are at 41 degree North latitude & 59 degree West longitude.

Lady: You must be an engineer.

Man: How do you know?

Lady: Everything you told me is technically correct but useless & the fact is I’m still lost.

Engineer: You must be in Top Management.

Lady: Ya. How do you know?

Engineer: You don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep & you expect people beneath you to solve your problems..!!
????????????????????????????
A must read n circulate for all working professionals…!Related

Bad hairstyle [Read it]


A guy had a "MO hawk"hairstyle on him and dyed it yellow,green,white,blue,orange nd so on.a man was walking side by side with and was staring at the guy's hair and the guy asked,what?!why are yu staring at me like that?tha man replied,sorry but when i was your age,i had sex with a parrot so am thinking maybe you are my son...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-17 08:01:03

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Pappu in fire brigade…:p

Lady called:”Mere ghar

mein aag lagi

hai..!!

.

.

Pappu:”pani dalo pani… .

.

Lady:”Pani dala hai per

aag phir bhi

nahin bhuji..

.

Pappu:”Phir hum akar

kya krenge, hum

bhi to pani hi dalte

hein… :p :ORelated
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