Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Heated Gold is called Ornament;

Beated Copper is called Wire;

Compressed Carbon is called Diamond;

And Heated, Beated and Compressed Person is called Husband!Related

HOLY GHOST FIRE [Read it]


There was a pastor who wanted to
impress his audience by performing
miracles, so as to gain more audience.
He
called his son and said to him, "On
Sunday, you will go up into the altar of the church with some used books and a
matchbox, then when I say Holy Ghost
fire, you will light up the books with fire
and throw it in front of the church." On Sunday when the pastor was
praying, he shouted, "HOLY GHOST
FIRE!" His son quickly lit the paper and threw it
in front of the church, the people
thought it was real, so they invited
other people to the church. This
continued for many Sundays. One Sunday while the pastor was
praying, he shouted, "HOLY GHOST
FIRE!" No fire. He repeated again, "HOLY GHOST
FIRE!" No fire. Agitated, he shouted for the
umpteenth time, "I SAY HOLY GHOST
FIRE!" and his son immediately shouted
back, "daddy, matches have finished o!"
#?BOLLY_SMART? ?? ? ? ? ? ??™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-11 21:50:17

378 Views




IJE(The journey)
Episode 6
I wondered what other trick life could ever play
on me.
Hope was not glad to see me, especially not in
the circumstances of our meeting. She was no
longer hope, she was now Celia and she was
rich. It was her money Daniel had been
showering on me. She walked me out of her
house, and told me never to come back. Life
was so cruel. I cried all the way back to my
hostel, cursing the day I was born.
Months later, I was supposed to graduate, but I
had a pending course. That gave me one more
year of suffering. During that period, I decided to
check on sister Faith. I went back to their house,
and was told they had moved out. I got another
address, and there I was informed that my sister
had passed on, during child birth years ago, but
that the child a girl, survived. I asked where I
could find her husband, and they said he ran off
upon hearing of her demise. The child had been
in an orphanage.
I didn’t know what to do. I went to the
orphanage, and saw the girl, a spitting image of
Peace. The matron was shocked at how I was
able to pick her out of the crowd of children
without help. I knew that I had to take care of
the child, so I explained my predicament to the
matron and we reached an arrangement. I was
introduced to Blessing, who was three years old
and I went back to school.
I had a new reason to live and I decided to turn
things around, in order to give Blessing a good
life.
I got a small corner close to a market, and I
began practising my trade. I worked tirelessly
days and far into the night sometimes. I saved
all the money I could get. Then I got a bigger
space, and bought one hair drier and made the
place look a little more like a saloon. In eight
months, I employed my first worker.
When it was time to go back to school for
exams, I sat for the exams and I passed. I
became a graduate. I didn’t want to for for nysc,
because of my business. I wondered how I was
going to manage. I was determined not to go
back to living a life of uncertainties.
The NYSC list came out, and I was posted to
Lagos. I packed my bags and went off to camp.
On the third day of camp, I was on my phone
when I heard a group of people laughing and
someone said “this Andrew is just a clown” I do
not know what made me turn around, but I did
and I was staring at a copy of my father. I stood
transfixed. It took me three days to pick up the
courage to approach him. When I did, I became
friends with him, he was twenty four years old.
The day before the end of camp, I told him who I
was. He was shocked. He couldn’t remember a
thing. I told him to ask his mother and few hours
later, he came to me saying his mum wanted to
speak to me on phone. I listened to my mother
call me a liar from the pit of hell, and rain insults
on me on speaker phone, to the hearing of her
beloved only child Andrew. The next day, we left
camp.
Two days after we left camp, I turned thirty.
That night, I cried an ocean into my pillow. I
wondered what shape my life was taking, I
wondered why life was so unfair to me. Watch out for the next episode

>> Episode 7 -

Akpos took his blonde girlfriend to her first football
game.
They had great seats right behind their team's
bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the
experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the
tight pants and
all the big muscles,[Akpos getting pissed off] but I just couldn't understand
why they were
killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, Akpos asked, "What do you
mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then
for the rest of the
game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the
quarterback! Get the
quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25
cents.. Akpos ansrd with anger-- Are you a learner? #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-11 12:25:01

1861 Views



bUs driver [Read it]


A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull."

The driver gets annoyed as the kid continues to yammer on, "If my dad was a rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick."

The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?"

The kid smiles and says, "I'd be a bus driver."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-29 08:25:12

155 Views




Dear Ladies,

Please feed your man well… because a fat man can’t run away!Related

An Igbo man died, at his hospital bed the children were praying and crying to God to bring back their father, after so much crying and praying, the man sneezed and move his head and then open his eyes. Wow! The children started praising God. He looked at all of them and called them; Chima, Okechukwu, Emeka, Nduka, Amaka, this one all of you are here? Who dey for shop ????????????????. Good morning all.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-07 10:50:51

373 Views




FOR COUPLES AND THOSE ABOUT TO GET MARRIED
FOR OUR MEN:

Carry your wife to the bed when she sleeps off in the sitting room, make her feel like a baby at times. The truth is, every woman wants to be treated like a 2yrs old girl at times, that's why women behave childish or silly at times.
You may have an argument with your wife and the next thing is that you will see her putting her bags outside the house, it doesn't mean she is asking for a divorce, she is just being childish, she simply wants you to hold her, look her in the eyes and say "I am sorry for the argument".
That's women for you. Every brother needs to study in the university of women before getting married, read books about them, learn what the Bible says about them and you will hardly have a problem with them.
Though there may still be some challenges, because you're both from different background and your imperfections are bound to stand.
So, read books about marriage, an ideal home, child upbringing, importance of marriage and the likes. Don't just jump into marriage with an empty head about matrimony, you will have problems.
How many men can tolerate their wives nagging let alone shouting? It's said that, you should be quiet when your spouse is angry, when one person is fire, the other person should be water.
Brothers, when your wife steps on your feet intentionally or mistakenly, don't let your eyes turn red, just smile at her, if she did it intentionally, she is just playing with you, if she did it mistakenly, its not her fault. So why shout at her over every small mistake?
As a man learn to ignore some things, don't be petty. Some men are feminist; Do "hide and seek" with your wife, sing poems for your wife in the garden or inside the house, even if she is teasing you.
Assist her in the house chores, pound yam, fetch water, don't make her look like your maid. Bathe together, wake her up for prayers, swim with her if it's available, cook together, teach her how to cook if she doesn't know how to cook. Cooking is not the ticket to Paradise. It's not only a feminine duty.
Use blind folds to cover her eyes and tickle her, scare her at times, call her from work/ school, text her, write "I love you" in a small note and put it under her pillow or in her purse or in her bathroom or in her cosmetics box or inside her cupboard. Kiss her always, cuddle her, pamper her and play with her hair. Always tell her, she's beautiful and that you're happy to have her as your partner.
All these are part of being romantic...When a woman tells you that you are not romantic. It means you are not doing all these things, its not the romance in the bedroom she is talking about. That's why, you brothers have to study "women's language" it's a 10 year course.
FOR LADIES:
It is part of your duty to be romantic too. Your shyness shouldn't get to your marital life and that doesn't mean you should be shy to express your love to your husband.
Send sweet text messages to your husband at work, sometimes even if you are in the room discussing with your husband, still be chatting with him on social media (Facebook, Whatsapp, Viber, Imo, bbm etc) even though he is right in front of you, it's fun and romantic! Discuss how lovely he is on your facebook timeline, this will trip him a lot.
You should be chatting with your husband, not other men on social media networks.
Buy flowers for him. When eating, give him the biggest meat. At times, bake cake for him to surprise him. Ladies, use your soft voice to sing for him, be creative, a poem like (twinkle, twinkle lovely spouse, how I wonder what you are, up above my world so high, like a diamond in my heart).
Sing poems for him, no shyness is allowed. Don't just be welcoming your husband with an angry face because there is no money in the house, God is our provider. Don't welcome your husband with your body smelling maggi, don't only play with your husband when he receives his salary.
Welcome him with a warm hug always, and when he is going to work, pray to God to keep him safe and for him to be successful. Support him, advise him, wipe his tears, be grateful to him, it's not easy to be a man, when you see his faith waxing cold, encourage him, don't threaten him that you will seek for divorce, don't compare him with other men, buy him gifts, wash his clothes, sing for him, praise him in a way that he wouldn't think of an alternative, be the best cook, wash his car if u have the time, dress him up, pamper him when he is sick.
Wake him with a peck and don't complain about his snoring habit.
Let kiss be the messenger between you. Read books on intimacy, don't learn it from what you see in movies..
Most of what you see there are not real. Call your husband pet names. Though you can also call him by his name even if he is 30yrs older than you, as far as he is comfortable with it.
Remember that, God said, men are the protectors and maintainers of women. So respect him and honour him even if he is younger than you. Marriage isn't a bed of roses but a bed of sacrifice. It's said that, there is nothing better for two people who love each other than marriage.
To fall in love is a disease and its cure is to marry the person one is in love with. Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion and the romance and you find out you still care for that person.
Finally, married men, divide your nights into 3: one for yourself (sleeping), one for your wife and one for your Lord.. That's the best night one can ever have.
LOVE MAKING IS ONLY FOR MARRIED PEOPLE. IF U CAN'T HOLD BACK, PLZ GET MARRIED.
I WISH YOU LOVE.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-18 21:06:50

1448 Views



The stupid wife [Read it]


WIFE: If i knew you were this Poor I wouldn't have married you! 


AKPOS: What do you think I meant when I said you were the only thing I have in this world?"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-10 08:15:30

528 Views




Do honey have legs? A 5yrs old girl asked her teacher; PLS SIR, DOES HONEY HAVE LEGS?? The teacher answered "NO" my dear but why do you asked? The girl said because every nite I hear dad sayin,HONEY open your legs. As a good teacher,what answer wil you give to the poor girl?? Pls send me the answer first!! Am waiting


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-24 22:35:19

403 Views




Chichi ; ” Babe , how will you describe me ? ”
Akpos ; ” a , b , c , d , e , f , g , h , i , j , k ”
Chichi ; ” aww baby (‘: , but what does that mean ? ”
Akpos ; ” awesome , beautiful , cute , devine , elegant , fine , gorgeous , hot ”
Chichi ; ” aww , but what does i , j , k mean ? ”
Akpos ; ” I’m JUST KIDDING




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-07 09:37:39

374 Views




give this man a name








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-12 19:48:07

407 Views




"That's okay," I said trying to figure a way out of getting a lift with Grey even though I didn't want to put off my job search for another day.

"It's no problem. He assured me that it was no trouble," my mom said stopping what she was doing to fix her curious eyes on me.

There was no getting out of this without making my mom suspicious of my feeling. I had no choice but to smile at my mom and say, "Okay."

I walked towards the stairs trying to calm my nerves. My hurt bubbled below the surface mixed with my anger. I didn't want to see him never mind get a lift into the city with him. Why on earth had he offered to give me a lift? His actions left me more confused than ever before. It was like push and then pull, it made no sense.

But I'd made a decision to start moving on with my life and allowing him to drive me up and down wasn't part of that plan. I went to my room and got my phone. I called Reece.

"Can you meet me in town in an hour?" I asked her.

"Sure," she said. "Where?"

"I'll text you the address," I replied. "I'm going for a job interview."

"Okay. Good luck."

She was in college but luckily Mondays she didn't have any classes. I texted her the address.

I set my chin with determination before I descended the stairs. The sound of the TV made me head for the living room first. If found him was sitting alone, watching TV. His eyes brightened and he smiled at me when he noticed me standing in the doorway. He switched off the TV and stood up. I didn't smile back. It was too hard to pretend everything was all right when it wasn't. 

"You ready to go?" he asked and I gave him a silent nod.

I didn't miss the slight surprise at my standoffishness. He followed me out and we walked to his car. It was a sleek black SUV with tinted windows. He opened the passenger door for me and I got it. He closed my door and I took a deep breath to calm my nerves.

Despite how angry I still was with him I couldn't help feeling nervous to his close proximity. His car smelled like him and I clasped my hands together when he opened the door and slid into the driver's side.

"Where are we going?" he asked before he started up the car.

I'd gone online and checked out a few adverts for a waitressing job that didn't need previous waitressing experience. There had only been a couple which had narrowed down my job search.  I gave him the address of the first restaurant and he programmed it into his GPS.

He backed out my driveway and I turned to look out the window. Usually I loved to be around him and I would usually use this time to revel in my hidden feelings but this time it just hurt to be so close to him and remember what he'd said to my brother.

"Are you sure that this is a good idea?" he asked and I pressed my lips together for a moment before I answered him.

"What do you mean?" I asked raising an eyebrow in his direction. He had his eyes fastened in the road.

"You know. You're supposed to be keeping your stress under control for your migraines," he said and I couldn't help bristly at his remark. "Any job will have some amount of stress you will have to deal with."

I turned to face him.

"I can't just do, nothing. I have to get a job and I'll just have to see what happens," I replied watching him as he shot me a side glance before turning his eyes back on the road.

"But what happens if it increases your migraines?" he asked.

"Then I will have to go to the doctor for more scans and stuff," I answered looking ahead.

It wasn't something I liked think about. I didn't want to go back to the doctor. I wasn't an optimist by nature and when I was first diagnosed with the migraines it had scared me. The doctor had assured me that they could easily be managed with medication. He'd also said there was a possibility that it was just a stage I would out grow.

But he told me if they increased I would have to go back to see him and he'd have to run more tests. That had caused the alarm bells in my head to sound. If the migraines increased then it meant there might be an underlying reason for the migraines and that thought scared me a little.

So far my migraines hadn't increased that much so I was hopeful it was something that I'd out grow or I could try and manage it. A lot of people suffered from them and they managed to live normal lives so I didn't see why I couldn't.

I kept my attention on the passing scenery trying to keep from looking at he while he drove. The silence was uncomfortable but I wasn't in the mood to try and make light conversation. He seemed to be deep in thought and I was thinking about the interview. I'd never been for a job interview before and the closer we got to the restaurant the more nervous I felt.

Grey shot a look to my fiddling hands.

"on't be nervous. You'll do fine," he assured me as he placed a hand over my hands. His touch made my heart flutter.

"Thanks," I said struggling to contain my reaction to the warmth of his hand over mine.

That was the thing about him. He never got nervous, or I at least never ever saw him get nervous. He always seemed to be calm and in control. It probably made him well suited for his job. You couldn't exactly be a nervous type of person performing in front of thousands of people.

It was sometimes easy to forget that he was a famous musician. Maybe it was because I knew him before all of that had happened.

I felt a knot of nervousness tighten in my stomach when he pulled up in front of the restaurant and switched off the car. It was a family owned restaurant that specialized in gourmet burgers.

"I'll wait here for you," Grey said to me pulling me out of my thoughts as he lifted his hand from mine.

"It's okay. You don't have to. Reece is going to meet me here," I told him before I opened the door.

He was silent for a moment and I watched his jaw tighten. Yeah he didn't like the fact that I'd side stepped him like that.

"oes she know where to meet you?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied, enjoying the fact that I'd managed to get out of getting a lift back home with him.

"Okay," he said trying to hide his annoyance. "Call me if she doesn't pitch."

I nodded my head before I closed the door. I didn't wait for him to pull away before I turned my attention back to the restaurant. All thoughts of Grey left my mind as I entered the restaurant. Even though it was early the place looked quite busy.  The host was a friendly girl who looked a coupe of years older than me.

"Hi, can I help you?" she asked giving me a warm and welcome smile.

"Yes I'd like to talk to someone about the waitressing job," I said trying to hide how nervous I felt.

She got the manager who was an older guy and we sat down at an empty table so he could interview me. He'd introduced himself as David and he began to tell me about job. As nervous as I was he put me at ease and after half an hour he offered me the job.

"Thanks," I said feeling relieved.

"No problem," he replied as we stood up. "I think you will fit in here well."

I beamed at his confidence in me.

"Be here tomorrow at nine," he told me.

I was so happy I'd gotten the job I wanted to squeal as I walked out. I spotted Reece waiting in her car at the curb. I opened the door and got in the car.

"And how did it go?" she asked. I smiled at her.

"I got it."

For once I felt independent. I'd managed to get a job. It wasn't much but I'd managed to get it on my own and that made me feel proud. At that moment I felt like anything was possible. Even getting over Grey.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Luke: mom;where is Ruth?(enter Lucas)come on why are you standing there?
Lucas: i am sorry son
Luke: is not your fault
Lucas: when did you wake up
Luke: yesterday;i am happy that God gave me a second chance
Lucas: my happiness is more because i will not have be able to forgive myself if anything happen to you.
Luke: why?
Lucas: i wouldn't be able to asked for forgiveness from you;for hurting you and your mom. please forgive me for all the pains i curse you and your mother
Luke: who am i not to forgive you?like you said i begged(enter Muriel)for forgiveness from God;why will i not let go of the anger i have towards you?while i was dying i just wish for two thing;one;that every member of my family be happy and the second is for Loveth to be happy
Lucas: there is something that i wanted to tell you about Loveth
Luke: what is that?
Lucas: Loveth....
Muriel: son;do you want anything?
Ruth: dad
Luke: Oh my love;come here
Ruth: dad;did you missed me?
Luke: of cause;the only thing that would had hurt me more is if i had wake up and didn't find you by my side
Ruth: oh dad;i could not stop praying and crying for you to get up and tell me;my bed time story
Luke: i promised when i get out of here;i will tell you more of it
Ruth: alright dad
Luke: where is Joan?
Muriel: she is at home
Luke: why?she doesn't want to see me
Muriel: no;she is busy
Luke: she works in this hospital;so she have every opportunity to see me
Ruth: don't worry dad;i will tell her to come visit you
Luke: that is why you are my love
Ruth: i love you dad
Muriel: you two are crazy
Lucas: i am glad you have a good father and daughter relationship
Luke: of cause(curtain)


Vivian: good day ma
Grace: what is going on?why are you breathing so fast?
Darling: ma;is like .....
Grace: what?
Vivian: Loveth
Grace: what happen to my daughter?tell me?
Lambert: what is going on?
Vivian: we really do not know but it seems...
Darling: Loveth is contemplating suicide
Lambert: what?why will my daughter want to do that?
Grace: that is not important now;the important thing is that;where did she go
Darling: we don't know ma
Grace: i don't want anything to happen to my daughter
Lambert: nothing will happen to him;I will just call my boys to go in search of her
Grace: please do something fast
Lambert: relax;you girls should come inside
Vivian: thank you sir(curtain)

Joan: why does love hurt this way(she stared at sleeping Luke)those you love don't love you(she cried and Luke open his eyes)excuse me(she turn to leave)
Luke: are you mad at me?
Joan: no;i am sorry
Luke: sorry for what?
Joan: please find a place in your heart to forgive me
Luke: i don't understand
Joan: i cause everything that happen to you and Loveth;i know right for the start that you love her but i was so deep in love with you that i became desperate and asked Jude to make her stay away from you
Luke: you don't even know Jude
Joan: i got his number from her phone and called him;i was thinking if he take her away then you will be all mine but it is all fantasy because it is she you love
Luke: i am sorry
Joan: i want to set you free;i have done all arrange for our marriage to be divorce
Luke: JOAN;i promise i will change;i don't want to commit sin against our only bible
Joan: you did no wrong;i cause you pains;the night you impregnated me;i allowed you not because i couldn't defend myself but because i know if i get pregnant you will never leave me forgive me(enter Lucas)
Luke: i am sorry too
Joan: it hurt to see those you love;to be with others
Luke: i am sorry
Joan: the pain in my heart only God can described it;when i lost you;i was thinking i still have my daughter but it hurt to find out that my own daughter want to replace me with her and my daughter can't bear to see her sad. is painful but Loveth deserve to me happy that is why i want to set you free
Luke: Joan;she doesn't love that is why she got married to Jude
Lucas: no;she love you that is why she sacrifice her happiness for you
Luke: i don't understand
Lucas: Jude;force her to marry him
Luke: what?
Lucas: if she did not marry him;he will kill you
Luke: but why?
Joan: i am sorry Luke;is all my fault(Lucas phone ring)forgive me
Lucas: why is this girl calling me?(he picked up)hello
Maid: sir;Loveth....
Lucas: what happen to Loveth?
Luke: sir(enter Muriel)
Maid: she want to commit suicide;when i get to her room to look for her i can't find her
Lucas: then
Maid: i saw a note in her room saying we should look for her because she is going to end her misery today
Lucas: what?(he end the car)i got to go
Luke: what is going on?
Lucas: Loveth want to commit suicide
Luke: what?
Lucas: and no one know where she might be at this point(he ran out)
Muriel: good for her
Luke: i have to look for her(he pull the drip from his body)
Muriel: are you mad?for crying out loud you are sick
Luke: i am fine mom
Muriel: i will not let you
Luke: mom;you can't stop me(he free himself from his mom and ran out)
Muriel: you see this stupid boy and why are you not stopping him?your husband is running after someone else
Joan: mother;let him. it is only right for a person to reciprocate a kind gesture;if someone had given up his happiness just to keep you alive is only right you do the needful
Muriel: what are you saying?
Joan: no matter what happen know that i love you and always make sure that you show my daughter love(she hugged her)
Muriel: and i love you too(curtain)


Grace: any news about my daughter
Policeman 1: nor for now
Grace: then why are you here?
Policeman 2: we are sorry ma;we are doing our best to look for her
Grace: your best is not go enough. stop wasting your time talking to us;just go and look for my daughter
Lambert: relax
Grace: i can't,i want my daughter
Policemen 1: we will do our best to look for her;lets just keep our finger cross
Policeman 2: we will go ahead
Lambert: alright(exit Policemen)dear stop crying we will find her
Grace: i just pray so(she cried)
Lambert: that is enough(curtain)

Luke: where could she be?(he drive fast even with the pain in his head)Loveth;where are you(he drive through a bridge and saw her)
Loveth: (to herself)why is there so much pain in my life(she flashback to all the hurtful words used on her and she cried more because of Muriel's words)your words are like a knife(referring to Muriel's words)they hurt deeply but is okay;i will no longer hear them again(as she was about to jump she held her name and turn)Luke;
Luke: hold on;don't do anything stupid
Loveth: just stay away from me
Luke: we can talk about this
Loveth: there is nothing to talk about. goodbye(she jump into the river from the bridge and Luke jump after her and save her)why did you save me?i have right to my own life;are you still going to tell me when my life will end
Luke: fine;i know you have a right to your own life but you are been ungrateful to the one who gave it to you. this is the lost thing i expected from you. do you think God will be happy with you
Loveth: is he not there when i am experience this?go on tell me
Luke: yes;he knows you can stand it that is why he allowed it but you just disappointed him because you give in to the devil(tears roll her eyes)you just show him you really do not care about this precious gift he gave you
Loveth: i am sorry(she cried)i was just tired of everything and the only way i could of;is this
Luke: but please never time don't do that
Loveth: i promise
Luke: come on lets go
Loveth: i don't want to go to that house and please don't tell me to go to my parent
Luke: come with me(he drive to a courtyard)
Loveth: what are we doing here?
Luke: we will stay here for sometime till i look for solution
Loveth: are you sure we are save here
Luke: yes;it will be difficult for any one to fine us here
Loveth: alright

Abraham: Ann;what are we eating?
Ann: i am sick i can't cook
Abraham: really
Ann: yes
Abraham: alright;why is the house so unkempt?
Ann: i will sweep it later(he walked into his bathroom and saw cloths on the floor and he screamed)what is it?
Abraham: what is this?
Ann: i thought you saw a snake;is it because of this small cloths;you are bark?
Abraham: i am barking?
Ann: yes now
Abraham: you are really mad. Vivian;does not keep my house dirty and she always make dishes. Vivian....
Ann: please;Vivian this;Vivian that;you know you love her that much well did you come after me
Abraham: you are evil(he rise his hand to her)don't you dare because you will not like the real me
Abraham: i curse the day i met you(he walked away)
Ann: me too(curtain)

Jude: where is Loveth?
Lucas: i haven't see her;maybe she is died
Jude: don't play game with me dad because if i find out that she is with your son;i will kill both of them. useless man
Lucas: you all me useless
Jude: yes(he walked away)
Lucas: this son of mine is now a monster. i just pray that my son is not with Loveth when he find her

SEE MORE......


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Akpos Sentence [Read it]


Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Akpos I is the....
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Akpos: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

HAPPY WEEKEND



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-06 09:00:50

572 Views



Akpos freed [Read it]


Akpos was being discharged from a Mental Hospital after doctors thought he was finally back to normal. He was put in an ambulance to be taken back home. He claimed he knew the house so he led the doctors.


They took him to where he claimed he lived. Just as they approached a certain house, two kids, dressed in uniforms came out of the house. Akpos screamed, "Those are my children going to school!" 


A minute later, a woman came out of the same house and Akpos screamed, "That's my wife, she is late for work!" 


This time, the doctors were convinced Akpos was ok and took him out of the ambulance but was still in chains. Just as they were about unlocking the chains, a man came out of the house and Akpos screamed, "YES! THAT'S ME GOING TO WORK!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-07 09:01:03

184 Views




When Rajnikanth does push-ups, he isn`t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.Related

STUDENT: Sir, can I ask a question?
TEACHER: Yes!
STUDENT: How do you put an
elephant inside a fridge?
TEACHER: I don't know.
STUDENT: It's easy, you just open
the fridge and put it in. I have
another question!
TEACHER: Ok, ask.
STUDENT: How to put a donkey
inside the fridge?
TEACHER: It's easy, you just open
the fridge and put it in.
STUDENT: No sir, You just open the
fridge take out the elephant and put
it in.
TEACHER: Ooh...ok!!
STUDENT: Let me ask another one. If
all the animals went to the lion's
birthday party, and one animal went
missing which one would it be?
TEACHER: The lion of course!
Because it wud eat all the animals.
STUDENT: No sir, it is the donkey
becoz it's still inside the fridge.
TEACHER: Are you kidding me?
STUDENT: No sir, 1 last question.
TEACHER: Ok!
STUDENT: If there's a river full of
crocodiles and you wanted to cross,
how would you?
TEACHER: There's no way, I would
need a boat to cross.
STUDENT: No sir, you just swim and
cross it because all the
animals went to the lion's birthday
party....
TEACHER..i have my own question,if all the
students come to
school except one person, who is the
person..
STUDENT.No idea sir..
TEACHER..its u because you are on two
weeks suspension


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-22 00:09:13

1011 Views



????: ?? …. [Read it]


????: ????? ???? ?? ??? ?? ?????? ?? ??… 3 ??? ??? ????? ?? ??? ????

?????: ???? ????? ????? ?? ???

????: ?????… ?? ?? ?????? ?? ??, ????? MBBS ???? ?? ??? ??, ?? ??? ???? ???!Related

Golden Words:

Insan Ki Kamyabi Uski Pehli

Grlfrnd Ki Wajah Se Hoti Hai

Aur Uski Baki Grlfrnd Uski

Kamyabi Ki Wajah Se Hoti HRelated

NIGERIAN POLICE [Read it]


Nigeria policeman arrested akpos urinating at a place in the market wit the sign "DO NOT URINATE HERE,FINE #500.the offender gives a policeman #1000 note. the policeman turns around nd turmbles a bit and said to the man "oga, now urinate again, i dont have change"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-28 21:25:23

818 Views




BROKEN SEAL
Episode 21

The warm cheers of tens of
spectators filled the air.
Today’s duel is gonna be a
tough one. Adrian is going
against a foreigner who is also
a champion. Adrian was clad in
a black race-wear while the
foreigner was on red. The race
moderator stepped forward,
with white paper in her hand.
Moderator: ladies and gents, as
you all know, we’ar having a
grand duel tonight! The racers
are Adrian Tracy and Conny
Gainsville.
Crowd: yeeeeah!!! Moderator:
the winner goes home with
75,000 peso, let the race
begin!!! The racers each
hopped into their racing cars
which were parked such that
the front tyre’s rested on a
white line across the road. The
moderator flagged down then
blew a whistel. The race
began…. Samuel and I watched
as the whole thing unfold,
Adrian is the guy in black,
driving a red sport car.
Hahahahaha “red” he’s gonna
get that danger. We parked our
black old model SUV in the
road adjoining to where Adrian
and co would most definitely
pass through to reach
their destination. Adrian was
leading, giving his opponent a
great gap, perfect!!! He is now
approaching us. I jumped into
the SUV, kick start it, and
started moving slowly. When i
was on the verge of entering
the main road, i rolled outta
the car immediately, leaving
the car to its fate. Adrian was
on high speed, he tried slowing
down to no avail. He swayed
his car away from the road, a
dangerous risk he took ‘coz the
car sumersaulted.
Samuel: fast! Lets get him
before they come for him. The
cheers died down instantly. He
ran to the sumersaulted car
and managed to get Adrian
out. Thank goodness he is stil
breathing, but his hair was
drenched with blood. We were
hearing gunshots from afar,
Samuel helped in dragging
Adrian’s heavy body into the
SUV. “kpash” a stranded bullet
found its way into the car.
WTF! This guys race with gun?
Me: sam, is the car not starting
or….( the engine started before
i could finish my sentence) the
rains of bullets intensified, two
cars are now after us. I reached
for my
own gun and started returning
the favor. Samuel too was
shooting at intervals. One of
the cars ran off track when i
shot its driver. I was jubilating
until the devil told me “don’t
glory yet” two of our car tyres
bursted. The car was practically
crawling. Oh shìt! Not now!!!
I’m using two guns in shooting
the other car. But the car seem
to be bullet proved. Samuel:
aaaaaaarhh i think i got shot!
Me: oh no what do we do now?



>>

Rajnikanth ordered a dosa at MacDonald`s and he got it.Related

A child innocently asked his mother... CHILD: Would you leave your housegirl
with your bank account card and your
N1 million on the chair. MUMMY: No I don't trust her. CHILD: Then why would you leave me
with her?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-15 09:20:15

453 Views



akpos interview [Read it]


Akpos went for oral interview in an ICT firm
Interviewer: what is the opposite of SHUTDOWN
Akpos: SHUT UP!!!!
.
HAHAHAHAH!!! is Akpos wrong or right?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-23 19:53:43

563 Views




Lady enter's a barbing salon:
AKPOS: Wow! I haven't seen such beauty
before! Do you come here often?
LADY: Not really.
AKPOS: I would like us to know each other
better.
LADY: Can't you see my finger (showing Akpos a
ring on her finger).
AKPOS: It doesn't matter. I'm married too.
LADY: But my husband will...
AKPOS: Oh cut that crap about your husband,
we can go places he has never dreamt of taking
you to.
LADY: Wow! Sounds nice, so what will I tell him?
AKPOS: You'll tell the dumb man that you are
going for fellowship.
LADY: Good, but I think you should tell him
yourself, because he is the one barbing your
hair.
What do you think will happen to Akpos?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-20 18:20:22

379 Views




Who love me most episode 10

Chidi :why should I be

Sandra :maybe because of what transpired between you and amara this morning

Chidi :don't be silly that's amara and you are Sandra

Sandra :but you don't seen happy to see me

Chidi laughed not because it was funny but was kind of surprises to hear that,coming from his best friend girl,"i am not your boyfriend "he thought

Chidi :i wasn't angry with you,am not just in a good mood,so are you happy now

Sandra :it's because of what happened right

Chidi smile

Chidi :i don't want to talk about it

Sandra :i talked with amara today and she is really sorry about what happened, she wants me to help her talk to you,she said you are not picking or returning her calls,she is really sorry she wants you to forgive her.

Chidi :Amara told you that.

Sandra :yes,chidi amara likes you so much she told me this her self, i think both of you should sit down and talk things over.

Chidi :what about the other guy.

Sandra :she has nothing to do with him,he's just a friend

Chidi key,i have heard you,i will see want it can do,i just wanted to be by myself for some time

Sandra :you are hurt right

Chidi : of course I am hurt

Sandra :i know,so is there anything in the kitchen

Chidi :don't think so.

Sandra smiling )you boys will never cook

Chidi :that's why we are guys cooking her might for girls

They both laughed

Sandra :let me prepared something then.

Chidi :alright, thanks

Sandra: okey.

Chidi return to his room while Sandra went to emma room.

It was the next day afternoon, Amara just finished her lecture, she was so hoping to see chidi, chidi has not picked or returned her calls,she went to a bar that they usually meet to see if she could meet him there,and just as she expected chidi was there having some drinks, she walked down to him.

Amara :hi chidi

Chidi looked at her,it took a little while before he answered back.

Chidi :hi amara ,can you please sit down, you are standing like my personal assistant

Amara sat down

Amara :am sorry about what happened yesterday, i never intended to make you get mad at me.

Chidi :how did you know i got mad,you don't want to see my mad,i didn't get mad did i,you made me feel stupid, why didn't you tell that I have a raver,i could have taken it slow, i don't like when my emotions is being tempered with,and when you told me you needed more time in thought there were something you are trying to figure out about me,i never knew there were some one else.

Amara :am sorry, he's just my friend

Chidi :i know he's your childhood friend, emma explained every thing to me yesterday but why didn't you tell me the may reason you were putting my request on suspension was because your best friend is wooing you.

Amara :i thought it wasn't necessary

Chidi : oh God,Amara am tired, am tired of trying to win your heart but yet it seems so far away,i asked you a question before if you want me around you yes or no and I want to get the answer now

Amara :i want you chidi

Chidi :i don't believe you,it doesn't seems like you want me (he got up)all this is a waste of time goodbye

As he was about to leave Amara got up and hold him on his hand

Amara :i love you

He couldn't believe his ear he turned and looked at her wondering if it just came from her mouth, it's too good to be ture then he laughed

Chidi :Amara go to max and just let me be

Amara :chidi i have loved you,i was just waiting for you to ask me again but you never did, i really do feel something for you.

Chidi :are you really sure.

Amara :yes,i want to be your woman.

With excitement he lift amara up,he was so happy that at last he has gotten what he has ever wanted,they both left the bar and he took her to his house, he told her that he wanted her to know where he lives so she can come anytime she want,they both sat down in chidi sitting room having a good time,

Amara :tell me are you a cultists

Chidi laughed at the question

Chidi :why do you ask

Amara :nothing just want to know

Chidi :do you want to know the truth

Amara :yes

Chidi :am not really a cultist but most of them are my friends, i pay them to over sees my affairs in this school.

Amara was content with the answer he gave ,they were till on their conversation when chidi heard his phone ringing from his room,he excuse himself and went to his room to check the caller, not about some minute he left Sandra and emma entered the sitting room,

Sandra :Amara

Amara :hi Sandra

Sandra and emma were so shocked to see amara .

Sandra :what are you doing here

Emma smiling )obviously she isn't here alone, where is chidi

Amara :he's inside the room

Sandra quickly sat down with amara

Sandra : come on gist me

Amara laughed )nothing

Sandra :what do you mean nothing, talk to me jor

Chidi walked back to the sitting room

Chidi :why are you guys disturbing the queen of my heart

Emma with a loud voice

Emma :chi chi you too much, oh boy forget,new you be the man way sabi

They all were laughing

Sandra :i want to hear from the horses mouth, Amara tell me is he the king of your heart

Amara looked at chidi who was smiling

Amara :yes and more then that

Emma :it is settled

They continue laughing, emma and Sandra are very happy that finally both pair are happy together

Sandra :now compensation hour,you guys need to compensate me for a job well done.

Chidi :really, so what do you want,tell me ,cause you deserve it

Sandra :now you are talking, well it just small thing oh ,it need a house

Chidi:house,(jokefully )if I buy you a house which one i go bye for my woman ne

They laughed again

Amara :don't worry i will compensate you myself

Sandra :i trust you,this comes for celebration

Emma :before we start celebrating i need to first full my stomach, so please baby if you don't mind run up something for us, chidi we get talk oh serious one.

Chidi :i understand, no wahala, i dey ne

Sandra :look at them ,i thought they said gossiping is for women.

Chidi :ne that one consign you

Emma and chidi went to chidi room

Amara :let me join you in the kitchen new

Sandra :thanks we till get our own talk but that will be later

Amara :no problem

They both entered the kitchen.



Drop your comments and

Read episode 11

>>

Continue part*****

I got to the hospital and immediately they attended to her,I was asked to wait at the waiting room, I couldn't sit down,I was moving from one place to another, my white long sleeve was stain with blood but that wasn't my problem, I began to pray,some people that was with me there was staring at me like a mad man but hey who cares,if only they know my situation.

The doctor later came out,as soon as i saw him I ran to him,I wasn't myself anymore, I wasn't hoping to hear bad news, "doctor please tell me she is alright" the doctor tap me on my shoulder,I have watch this on the movie when ever a doctor tap you like that just know a bad news is coming, "are you her father"he asked me,"no I saw her on the road side so I decided to help her just tell me if she is okey" I lied,I was scared of telling the truth,I really don't want to implicate myself,"well she has lost a lot of blood and need blood really fast,she is AA" he said looking into my eyes, "I am AA too,I will donate my blood for her please".

On hearing this the doctor took me to the laboratory room, I was told my blood needed to be tested first before the donation,in no time the result of the test was out and I was good to go for the donation,thank God we have the same blood group because I was later told by the doctor that there was no more blood in their blood bank.

I was lead to one of the rooms there so i can rest,as I lay down I stated feeling dizzy ,I told the nurse what was happening to me that was when she asked me if I have eaten before the donation of the blood,of course not,have been in the station almost all day, I told her no,she gaze at me with a surprise look then ran out of the room calling the doctor.

I could feel my heartbeat decreasing, I was now finding it hard to breath, what is happening, what is wrong,I tried getting up but I was too wake to,I looked all around me it was getting darker,I started hearing voices, but can't say who then I blank out.

I later woke up and found the whole place quite, I really don't know how long I have been unconscious, I came down from the bed and walk to the door,I opened the door and walked to the doctor office but he wasn't there, i turned and went to the visitors room,when I got there I saw some people,they were busying discussing that they didn't notice me,I greeted them nicely but they turned,Looked at me then continue with their discussion, I left them and was about to go out of the hospital was I hear some one called my name,I turned and saw a lady,I walked up to her,as soon as I meet up with her she turn and started walking back to the direction I came from,well I followed her hoping to have answers.

"Please mam,I am looking for the doctors but he is nowhere to be found, do you know where he is" She didn't replie me it was like I was talking to myself, she walked me to my room, "hey it like you are a nurse, I am fine now can you please take me to the doctor" I was really growing inpatient, why is everyone acting weird, she didn't say a word she took my hands and entered the room,I was about say something when she pushed me to the bed.

I opened my eyes and saw the doctor and some nurses,I was looking at them confused "thank God you are awake,you have been unconscious for the pass two hours",the doctor said ,Awake, what is going on,now everything was now making sense I have been dead all this while.

Next part



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missed call [Read it]


**one pastor been dey preach for inside bus one day,na so traffic con hold them for road,for that process two agbero con dey fight for road,one just run carry bottle won stab the other one,immediately na so one voice just call the pastor,"MY SON,MY SON,GO INTO THEIR MIDST AND TELL THEM ABOUT ME",na so the pastor look left look right,na he say "SATAN GET BEHIND ME..


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-21 06:29:28

391 Views




She nearly burst into tears when she stood up to go.she got to the door and said,"good luck and goodbye my dear little son."as soon as she opened the door,olawale shouted,no dont go mother!please!.then he woke up.he was no more shivering but was sweating profusely.he had to undress himself so that he could get adequate fresh air.
Then he sat down and began to think about his dreams.after a while,he heaved a sigh of relief.and then he heaved a sigh of relief.and then he said to himself,ah...ah! so mother has really been with me since her death.i must do all that she said i should do.but he was puzzle and confused about what he was doing with a white overall in his dream.finally,he just asked God to take control.by now,he was feeling sleepy so he finally fell asleep around 3.30am.
_________
Three years after olubanke's death,olawale was promoted to sss 2.since olawale started school,he had always been at the top of his class.he was such a bright and talented boy. Olawale's brilliance stuned the whole school and the whole agbamu township.sometimes people especialy his peers,would say,"Leave him! he'll soon relax and fall."Each time this comment was made,it always looked as if olawale was waxing stronger.he had made his school principal proud and his principal would make bet with other school principal in the locality that no one could compete with his best student,olawale.
However,at the same time,no one could tell that akebaje and olawale were related.this was because they behaved different.akebaje was very fond of girls.he would steal his father's money and likewise that of his mother just to satisfy the bad set of girls.
Everywhere chief adigun went,he was always proud of olawale because people always praised olawale.but hardly did anybody know that chief adigun was the father of akebaje.of course,only a few people knew this especially those who,in one way or the other,had become friends of chief adigun.olawale was a science student while akebaje was a commercial student.Akebaje was never serious with his studies.at the end of every term when both showed their report sheets to their father,chief adigun would always praise olawale and bite his finger whenever it was akebaje's turn.
One day, olawale called his broda nd tired to advise him bt akebaje stood up furiously.he clapped his hands ,looked at olawale frm his head to toes nd finally shook his head and walked out on him.that was nt all. He abused nd cursed olawale so much that olawale invariably burst into tears.
Everybodi in town knew akebaje as a bad egg whom every child must not to imitate .
During school hours,akebaje would sneak out of class and out of school.he would go to the casino to gamble with his gang.this,he would do until the end of the term when it was time for examinations.he would then cheat by writing answers on his palm and on his locker.he was always caught and punished severely.this went on regularly.akebaje would break into the principal's office a day before the begining of vacations,search for and find his papers in order to change his exam scores so that he could be promoted or passed on trail.of course, he knew that if he made the marks too high, he would get caught because he wasn't that brillant.
Now olawale had lost interest in akebaje.he concentrated on his studies for he knew he was approaching the final stage in the college.he therefore concentrated on preparing for the WASSCE.
.........................................................................
Days and months rolled by.senior secondary school examination was fast approaching.olawale had begun to burn the midnight candle because of the exam.if you're looking for him during school hours,he would be in his little room reading.olawale was determined to make it in life.
However,before the examination commenced,the state commissioner for education had promised to award a scholarship to the best student who passed all his/her papers.this aroused olawale's determination more than ever. Even chief adigun was always happy whenever he saw his son busy with his studies.he would proudly say so to anyone who asked him about his son olawale.each time, he talked or mentoned this in front of akebaje's mother,she would get angry and show it by grumbling and muttering curses under her breath.olanike never wished anything good for olawale.she always tried to make him say something she could grab hold of in order to report him to his father but olawale would not even bother to look at her face,let alone answer her.







NAIRAJOKES.COM




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A letter [Read it]


Hello dear!how are u now?No call frm u,no visit since 2wiks ago,no sms frm u,no missed call.well am not even worrie bt d only tinz in my mind is dat i dnt knw excet Police station to find u,bcuz av searched at least 10 police station around our community to luk 4u*..or my dear are u in Prision now?Pls reply.love u frm ur wife.:Ngozi...pls friends one word for the wife...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-06 09:02:33

816 Views




Saif: My dil goes hmmmmmm…! My dil goes hmmmmmmm….! My dil goes mmmmmmMMm……!! My dil goes mmmmmmm…..!

Javed Jafri: Is this da dils or da makhis…?Related

The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich illiterate African king who was a very important client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her, "Don't reject the guy outright."


So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the king from wanting to marry her. After a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75-carat diamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara."


The African king pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says, "No problem! I have. I have."


Realizing her first condition was too easy the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100-room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France."


The African king pauses for awhile. He whips out his cellular phone and calls some brokers in New York and in France. He looks at the woman, nods his head and says, "Okay, okay. I build. I build."


Realizing that she only has one last condition, the secretary knows that she'd better make this a good one. She takes her time to think and finally she gets an idea. A sure-to-work condition. She squints her eyes, looks at the man and says, rather coldly, "Since I like sex, I want the man I marry to have a 14-inch joystick (p*nis)."


The man seems a bit disturbed. He cups his face with his hands and rests his elbows on the table, all the while muttering in African dialect.


Finally, after what seemed like forever, the king shakes his head, looking really sad, and says to the woman, "Okay, okay. I cut. I cut." 


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-30 21:19:54

288 Views




EXAMPLE!
1. Na wetin concern fish with raincoat.
2. Na wetin concern train with traffic light.
3. Na wetin concern bicycle with filling station.
4. Na Wetin concern blind person with mirror.
5. Na wetin concern Jehova witness with drum sets.
6. Na wetin concern deaf person with radio news.
7. Na wetin concern keke with four tyres.
8. Na wetin concern okada with seat belt.
9. Na wetin concern mad person with identity card.
10. Na wetin concern C.Ronaldo with messi for goal
pole.
11. ADD YOUR'S


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-16 23:54:18

446 Views




Golden Thought of the Day ????



Girls Express Their Feelings With Gussa And Tears…

.

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&

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.

Boys Express Their Feelings Wid sutta & Beers… :p :O ;-)) ????Related

Samsung Galaxy S4 pauses the video if you look away. It’s like your wife complaining

.

..



….

“TUMHARA DHYAAN KAHAN HAI?”Related

“Sky!. Sky!! sky!!!” I heard my name being thundered on the hall way, the sound of Jessy’s voice getting closer and bolder.

“Am here Jessy” I threw rather weakly hoping she heard me.
In a jiffy my door barged open and Jessy walked in briskly, unannounced anger written all over her face.

It was Chioma’s supposed last day of her visit to Enugu, she had called her office to request for leave so she could be able to stay through the duration of papa’s stay in the hospital, she will be leaving for Abuja today.

The night that gave birth to this day was a wondrous unforgettable night in the historical antiquity of Johnysky.

Junior sky was subjected to a beautiful treat. Her energy and passion, the deep sense of attraction and affectionate emotion made it a remarkable night of e####c bliss.

It all felt very perfect with her. My world and everything in it.

“Sky you have to do something about this” Jessy blurted out slumping her weight heavily into the bed which gave out a protesting creak.

“What is wrong Jessy” I couldn’t figure out exactly what to think, Jessy’s words got me lost.

“Sky i don’t know what is wrong with Aunty” Jessy intoned more in a desperate hush peering into my face.

“What about her” I said more coldly this time, seems it was about Amanda and i don’t care what ever is wrong with her.

“Chioma was packing her clothes she washed in the backyard in readiness for her trip, Amanda confronted her and told her to stay clear from you that the relationship will lead her no where, that she wouldn’t guess whats coming for her”
This time Jessy’s tune was more of a narration.

“What?!!!” I thundered, washing myself off the bed and zoomed pass Jessy as i galloped down the stairs. My anger could cut a rope yet a slight iota of fear surged through that anger.

I don’t know why Amanda’s personality and guts gives me ghost scare, like an adage papa always used back then when mama was still alive and he wants to pick on her “A desperate woman is more dangerous than a snake” and right now i fear Amanda’s desperation.

Chioma sat in the sitting room, hands on face placed on her thighs.

I swooped pass her making my way out into the vast yard riddled with graceful interlocks.

Amanda was seating at one of the outdoor drinking tables, sipping a from a bold glass cup and a bottle of brandy beside it.

“How dare you confront an innocent girl” i barked on getting to the spot.
I could make out effiong fingering the tip of his silly-looking uniform cap as he sprang up from his chair and directed his gaze at my direction, looking on with keen interest.

“I asked a question” I yelled banging my hand furiously on the table. A part of me wanted that to be on her face.

The calm chuckle she gave out intensified my anger boiling down like a red hot volcanic magma. she took a slight sip from the cup, the golden brown liquid throwing off unsure sparks.
She dropped it and look up at me for the first time.

“Sky, stop yapping like a kid, i told the girl the truth stop being paranoid” she sang dragging the left side of her lips up in a smirk and then another sip from the cup.

“I honestly do not know the game you are playing, but mind you Amanda you will not like the sky you will see when this thing starts. for crying out loud you are my father’s wife” my finger pointing furiously at her trying to sound more threatening.

Amanda let out a cracking laughter which caught me off guard and surprised. “Have i said anything funny?”.

“Your father’s wife?.. Oh please!!!” She scoffed rolling her eyes.

“You think your father is married to me? That’s a big joke sky. I am only living in this house, and marrying him in words of mouth because your father literally don’t marry me in anyway” Her eyes widens and she downs a serious gulp of whiskey.

“I am just like a living ghost to him, i am just a ghost in this house and this will not be so for very long because i cannot loose”.

My threatening finger went numb and frail. suddenly it was not anger i felt but pity.

I turned to leave still working my face hard to maintain the angered look.

Effiong still watched on from his office **the gate** now had his hands resting on his head and eyes wearing a peeled look.

“Sky, things are just warming up, remember i still have a surprise for you” she threw after my resigning figure retreating back into the house.

Maybe i should consider moving to abuja for the meantime, but my papa’s health was dragging a slow improvement, leaving him in that condition poses a problem to me.

I sipped into the sitting room, cheered chioma up, assuring her Amanda’s words meant nothing.
Jessy was already cursing and bashing, raising her fist up swearing. Her anger was unhidden.

Time slipped by, the day turned stale with contempt, tensing up the environment.

Chioma went back to abuja an hour later..

..To be Continued..


>>

See Quarrel Between a Rich Man and a Poor Man In Nigeria Here

Rich man: You are a fool
Poor man: You are an idiot sir
Rich man: I'm gonna make sure you rot in jail
Poor man: It's a lie joor. i'm ready for you
Rich man: You gonna hear from my lawyer soon
Poor man: No problem. i will report you to my
native doctor!!..
Rich man: Hey!!.. brother. i was only joking.


lafff don kill me......!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-05 09:13:28

282 Views





Akpos recently shared the following views at a public forum:
When Nigerian politicians loot public funds/money from Nigeria, they keep it in Switzerland.

When sick, they go to Germany or India.

When investing, they go to America.

When buying Mansions, they visit London.

When shopping they go to Dubai.

When on holidays, they visit Paris or Bahamas.

When educating their children, they select Europe.

When praying, they go to Saudi Arabia or Jerusalem.

BUT, when they DIE, they all want to be BURIED in Nigeria! Please, ask them for me, is NiGERIA A CEMETERY?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-21 22:22:19

785 Views



Marriage Vows [Read it]


During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached Pastor Akpos with an unusual offer:
"Look, I`ll give you N20,000 if you`ll change the wedding vows.
When you get to the part where I`m supposed to promise to `love, honor and obey` and `be faithful to her forever,` I`d appreciate it if you`d just leave that out."
He gave Akpos N20,000 bill and walked away satisfied.
On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom`s vows,
Akpos looked the young man in the eye and said with a loud voice: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, wash her pants and bra, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes, I do"
then move toward pastor Akpos and hissed : "I thought we had a deal." Akpos put N20,000 bill into the groom`s hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-06 07:21:09

2261 Views



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