Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Naraz Hona Aapse Galti Kehlayegi;

Aapki Ruswaie Se Saanse Tham Jayengi;

Haste Rehna Hamesha;

Aapki Hasi Se Hamari Zindagi Savar Jayegi!Related

Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.

~ Marcus Tullius CiceroRelated

Akpos Father Was Thirsty,So He Called Akpos To Get A Drink For Him.
Father: Son,get Me A Soft Drink.
Akpos: Coke Or Fanta
Father: Coke
Akpos: Diet Or Regular
Father: Regular
Akpos: Bottle Or Can
Father: Bottle
Akpos: 500ml Or 1litre
Father: Damit!!!.Just Buy Me Water
Akpos: Natural Or Mineral
Father: Mineral
Akpos: Hot Or Cold
Father: [angry] I'm Gonna Strike You With A Broom You Bastard
Akpos: Stick Broom Or Soft Broom
Father: Stop This You Animal
Akpos: Cow Or Pig
Father: Get The Hell Out Of My House
Akpos: Now Or Later
Father: Now
Akpos: You're Gonna Throw Me Out Or Not
Father: Im Gonna Kill You
Akpos: With A Gun Or A Knife
Father: I'm Gonna Shoot You Bastard
Akpos: In The Head Or The Stomach
Father: You Pest
Akpos: Cockroach Or Rat
Father: Fuck You
Akpos: With A Condom Or Flesh To Flesh
Father: [was Frustrated,so He Fainted]
Son: Are You Dead Or Sleeping.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-16 11:00:31

328 Views



silent [Read it]


in d church when d pastor was about 2 wed d couple he asked pastor:any body who knw wat wil make dat dz mariage wil nt hold cuo and say it or 4ever remain silent.after sum seconds of silent akpos stand up walking toward d pastor immediately d wife fainted and d husband ran away.akpos took d micro phone Akpos:pls pastor show me d way 2 d toilet i wan2 poop


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-13 09:16:23

517 Views



nairabet [Read it]


Heheheheheheheee i go play nairabet ni ooo na so my game com remain 1 and na 650 k I wan chop, u no go believe say I don dey call the motor dealer wey dey live for my area say I wan buy motor na so the game go play 1-1


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-19 16:53:33

313 Views




Georgina: i don't need your stupid words
Desmond: don't worry Stephie;i will handle it
Georgina: why won't you tell her;don't worry;when she is your mistress
Stephanie: if you know you don't have regard for anyone don't try it with me because i will not take any rubbish from you
Desmond: stop it Stephanie
Stephanie: i go ahead
Desmond: goodbye
Stephanie: bye
Desmond: (to Georgina)lets go home(she enter the car)
Georgina: do you know what?i don't know why i am talking you and even driving in same car with you?
Desmond: is because you are betroth
Georgina: you see how stupid you are?you call yourself my betroth and you still have the gods to cheap on me. there is no big deed
Desmond: there is nothing going on between us;she is my friend nothing more;nothing less
Georgina: and you expect me to believe you?

Desmond: its normal for you not to trust me but there is no big deed
Georgina: don't even talk about trust because i don't trust you
Desmond: but i am sorry,i am really sorry because i know i offended you. please forgive me
Georgina: i will forgive you on one condition
Desmond: wish is
Georgina: that we have a date at your house
Desmond: just that?then its done
Georgina: and that you invite your friend's girlfriends
Desmond: okay;its fine by me
Georgina: and don't forget to invite Stephanie
Desmond: what?are you sure you want her?
Georgina: do you have a problem with that?
Desmond: no
Georgina: that settle it then. bye Darling(she peck him and step down in front of her house)or do you want to come in
Desmond: no thank(exit Georgina)sometimes;i don't seems understand her(the next morning at Desmond's apartment)
Ann: whoa!it seems that everyone will get a full
Anita: and you know what Georgina is going to be here also
Tosan: i don't feel comfortable with the ideal of Desmond inviting Stephanie
Anita: i thought he said, 'Georgina asked him to invite her'
Tosan: yes he did(enter Brown)
Brown: can you join me in the kitchen?
Stephanie: sure
Desmond: aunt;she is my guest
Stephanie: i am not your guest
Desmond: then who are you a guest to?(enter Tunde/Alfred)
Tunde: to me
Stephanie: no
Alfred: if she had rejected both of you then i know she wouldn't do that to me
Stephanie: why should i?when i am your guest
Tina: oh!so its Alfred now?careful that you don't go round all friends (Stephanie walked away)
Ann: Tina;be civil for once
Tina: am i not?its for your own interest
Ann: i didn't asked you to fight for me;i can do that for myself
Tina: if you say so(enter Georgina/Tessy/Uche)
Georgina: i am so sorry;am late. hi girls
Tina: hi!was up with you
Tosan: (to Anita)since when has both of them become friends?
Anita: i don't know
Georgina: nothing much Tina;i want to introduce you girls to my two best friends

Brown: dining is serve;you all can move to the dining(at the dining)
Georgina: i pray this food is sweet
Desmond: ma Brown always prepared sweet meal(to Brown)am i right
Brown: yes;you are but i am not the one whom prepared it
Georgina: then who?
Brown: is Stephanie
Alfred: that means we are going to have a special meal
Georgina: does it mean that you tasted Stephanie?
Alfred: yes;we have
Georgina: including Desmond?
Tunde: yes
Georgina: how can?did she prepared food for you in this house?

Anita: not really;i invited them to my house that was when they tasted it
Georgina: oh that;is okay by me
Desmond: and that remind me;where is Stephanie?
Brown: she is at the kitchen;i will just called her(exit Brown)
Georgina: lets i forget;let me introduce you to my friends;this is Tina;Tunde's girlfriend,this is Tosan;Tosin's girlfriend; Ann;Alfred's girlfriend and you all this my friends Tessy and Uche,this is Anita,Ayo's girlfriend
Tessy: whoa!it is a small world. all of you are in a circle
Uche: its really a small world but you did not introduce that cutie to us
Georgina: sorry;pardon my manners;he is my betroth
Tessy: oh!you guys look good together (enter Stephanie)
Stephanie: i am sorry;i just had something to attend to before now
Desmond: i thought ma Brown;said you are in the kitchen?
Stephanie: yes;i was but i left a while ago
Tunde: lets eat;since you are here
Tosin: yes;am famished(everyone serve themselves and eat)you know whenever i eat;i just feel refreshed
Alfred: you know i like eating
Desmond: that was why you ate that food that almost killed you(all laughed)
Alfred: is not a joke,i almost lost my life that day
Ann: thank God,you didn't
Tessy: men;this food taste so sweet. who prepared it?
Alfred: ma Brown;said its Stephanie
Tessy: you are such a good cook,your husband will enjoy you
Stephanie: thank you but not as good as ma Brown
Tunde: do you know that back then;my mom used to say the way to a man heart is his stomach
(all laughed)
Alfred: i remember when we were still kids,Desmond used to say i will get married to a woman who knows how to cook
Desmond: (all laughed)will you stop; it is just a childish thing,i am all grown up
Tosan: are you sure?you don't still believe in that?
Desmond: i am sure
Ann: but Alfred do you think same way with Tunde's mother
Alfred: we are living in a modern world now
Tosan: you right,we don't have to be like our parent
Tina: Stephanie;aren't you saying anything

Stephanie: i don't have anything to say
Anita: aren't you go to contradict us
Stephanie: no;i just realise that maybe a woman doesn't need to stress to prepare homemade food for a man to love her
Tunde: sometimes it is what a man need
Uche: it is not sometimes but all the time
Stephanie: a man doesn't need to bother his wife over cooking;if he have money
Desmond: i disagree with you(he stared at her)
Georgina: baby;did you know that mom;called if we are together again?i told her(she pause but he did not replied)you?what is wrong with you?(she tap him)

Desmond: what were you saying?
Tina: is because your mind is not here but what were you thinking about?
Desmond: nothing;its just that i am happy that all my friend are together smiling
Georgina: really?
Desmond: yes;don't you trust me;Stephie (everyone turn and look at Stephanie)don't you
Desmond: you see;even you want to denial me
Stephanie: why should i denial you?
Desmond: that is my baby
Georgina: your baby
Desmond: yes;she is my baby because am her daddy
Tessy: oh that,you scared all of us
Desmond: you know i can never hurt Georgina
Tunde: are you sure?
Desmond: don't even start with me(all laughed)
Georgina: (to Stephanie)young woman;can you go get me a glass of juice?
Desmond: (to Georgina) babe;what are you...
Stephanie: don't worry;i will just get it
Georgina: good girl(exit Stephanie)
Desmond: i hope you are not up to something bad
Georgina: will you just stay away from my business
Stephanie: here it is
Georgina: oh God!i don't drink pineapple juice;i am so sorry;can you bring me;mango juice. please(she turn to her friends and smile)
Stephanie: there is no problem (she left and returned with the juice) here it is
Georgina: oh my God!this juice is not cold
Stephanie: am sorry;i couldn't find any cold one
Georgina: and you did deem it fit to inform me?before bring me this rubbish
Desmond: is all right;Stephie you can sit(she sat down)
Georgina: so you expect me to this rubbish juice that is not cold?
Uche: Georgina;come down
Georgina: why should i?when Desmond is teaching this girl,how to disobey me?
Tessy: but she is not a maid?
Georgina: is she better than a maid?
Stephanie: i am not better than.....
Anita: baby stop;lets not make this an issue
Georgina: leave her let her bring her out the rubbish from her mouth
Ann: (she wanted to talk but Ann stop her)Stephanie;maybe we should just go home
Georgina: no;don't tell her to home because her boyfriend has not given her a good night peck(Stephanie turn and looked at Tina)
Tina: why are you looking at me?
Stephanie: why should i?when you are not my problem
Tina: i can never be your problem because you are too small
Georgina: just imagine this lowlife
Stephanie: if a lowlife person can make you so insecure then it is such a shame
Georgina: do you think you mean anything to me?
Desmond: i don't want to mean anything to you because you are not one to be reckon with
Tessy: will you shut up. do you know who you are talking to?

Stephanie: i know who i am talking to;Georgina Daniel;the one that think so highly about herself,one that want people to dance to her tone;one that want to be worship
Anita: will you stop for once
Stephanie: i am not done with her
Tina: can you just hear yourself talk?are you her class?
Stephanie: as far as i am concern we all equal;i don't get fed;clothed by her. i have a roof above my head just has she do and i attend same university with her. where is the class different?(to Tina)since you know we are not in the same class;please tell me?
Georgina: since you don't know the class different;i will tell you,no matter how a butterfly thinks highly of itself;he can never be a bird
Stephanie: and no matter how expenses your cloths are or you think of yourself,the bottom line is that you are so cheap because you have no character. go learn manners and how to treat others
Georgina: so you guys are watching her insult me
Anita: will you shut up Stephanie?in fact;lets go home,everyone lets go
Tina: i hope that doesn't involves me?
Tosan: if you want to stay;then suite yourself
Stephanie: you girls shouldn't leave because of me;i can take care of myself
Georgina: and you think i am done with you?are you tired of battling words with me?
Stephanie: i don't have any issue with you. i am just tell in you your weak point
Georgina: thank you very much(she pull the juice on her face)
Desmond: will you two stop this rubbish
Stephanie: (she wiped her face)thank you two very much(she carry the cup of water)
Desmond: Stephanie;what do you want to do?please don't(she drop the cup and walked away)baby please wait(exit Anita/Ann/Stephanie/Tosan)
Georgina: no;run after him because you haven't seen a law student
Desmond: don't get me work up
Georgina: if i do;what will you do?yelled at me?try to slap me?you can't do anything
Desmond: i can't do anything?
Tunde: don't even start
Georgina: let him embarrass me in front of my friends
Tessy: is alright;you are overreacting
Georgina: you think;i don't know you two are having a relationship?that is why you are behaving funny
Desmond: its always like that because you have never trusted me right from the start and mark you love can not grow when there is no trust (exit Desmond)

Uche: girlfriend;you are taking this thing too far;lets go home
Tina: this nice occasion as turn into a gloomy one


TO BE CONTINUE.......


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Full Bed Bath [Read it]


The nursing student, on her first rotation in the ICU, had to give a patient a full bed bath. She had never given one before and was terribly nervous about it.To make matters worse, the patient was a gentleman in his late sixties who had been admitted after a heart attack. As se nervously set her equipment up, she confessed to the patient that she had never given a full bed bath before.“I’ll tell you what,” he said, “how about if you wash as far down as possible, and as far up as possible, and then I’ll wash possible?”Related

exam things [Read it]


i went to wrie exam nd na beside d person i sat dat i saw the 11th wonder of d world..we were asked to write letter then i see d guy collecting extra sheet..and all d guy was puting down was oh dear dear oh dear rrr..bcos na hw he dey prnounce he dey write cos he be stammerer


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-22 18:40:40

359 Views



idiot boi [Read it]


Akpos came late to school and
his teacher asked, "Akpos, why
are u late to school?" He replied,
"My papa dey find his money for
house." The teacher asked again,
"Are u helping him to find it?"
Akpos answered, "No, I was
standing on it till he comot for
house." Hahahahahahaha.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-05 00:20:02

387 Views




Tap!! tap!! tap !!
Henry jerk up from the bed .
" no not again " he murmurs
he went down, right at the tapping window
and saw the image. He opened the door approaching it
" who are you !!!
He yelled
"what do you want from me" ..

"Do you really want to know, come"

Henry was more frightened, he start shuddering as the voice echoed like it was coming out from a hollowed tunnel.
He walk towards it.
slowly the figure turn around
it was Ellen . the same Ellen he sigh deals with ..
Her face was pale and whitish ,
Her eyes yellowish, bulging out like it was coming out from its sockets and unfocused as she glared at henry who was frozen in fear,
"what I want huh ? I want you to feel the pain that I felt"
.. "But I have done nothing wrong to you " Henry's stammered in fear

"yes "
she hissed
"that I know , but some people connected to you did'"

" what ever they did to you why don't you torment them , why me ?

' she hummed
"good question '

" please forgive...... .

" forgive , there's nothing like forgive
she yelled and vanished ,
henry stood out all night in the field crying
******
I think I'm going insane , someone is tormenting me '
who ? Jane ask ..
" Ellen '
Ellen , Jane repeated. Having 'not again looks on her face

Henry observing her reaction

" no , no not that Ellen. . she said some people connected to me did something to her and she want to revenge on me..

" She want to revenge on you for something you didn't do
Jane asked surprisedly.

I don't know . henry sobs .

Jane couldn't bear seeing his husband this way tears run down her check, she hug him.
"Honey it will be okay..
She whispers .
********


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Suna Hai Aapki Ek Muskan Pr Hr Koi Marta Hai,

Zara Time NikaaL Ke Aayiye To.

Ek Chuha Marwana Hai.

Bahut Din Se PareshanKar Rakha Hai.Related

Congrat! [Read it]


Congratulation friends!:Your phone have installed new puzzle..how to play it..Throw ur BB or ur Iphone even ur new andrio phone against the wall,step 2 assemble the pieces again u are a winner,....eh i lof u all


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-06 10:34:03

280 Views




Santa Ek Din Bada Khush Sa Hoke Ghar Aya Aur Apne Baap Ko Bola.
Santa: “Daddy Daddy, Mera Lund Class Mein Sabse Bada Hai, Esa Mere Mein Kya Khas Hai?”
Santa Ka Baap Gusse Se Bola.
Daddy: “Bhonsdi Ke, Kyunki Tu 18 Saal Ka Ho Gaya Hai Aur Abhi Bhi 5th Class Mein Hai“Related




A Guy Akpos who just graduated from Bible College, was invited to speak at a chapel service in a prison.
He was very excited but being his very first time, he was very nervous as well.
He thought hard on how to introduce his message.
On that day, he arrived at the prison and was greeted by a large group of prisoners waiting to hear him.
As Akpos walked and stood behind the pulpit in the prison, he said; Good morning Gentlemen. I am so happy to see you here!
It was so tragic to the extent that Akpos didn’t go back home with his 2 legs





NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-06 08:43:41

1011 Views



Mother and Son [Read it]


You will never believe what happened to me today. I still can't get over
it. I went to the supermarket by d road side to pick something to eat pending d time I get home. As I was walking to d counter, I noticed this woman starring at
me. I looked at her and kept walking to the
front to pick bottled water and gala. As
I picked them and turned, I found the same woman right behind me! I tried
to show her some love, so I smiled & said "Gudday
maa". Then I went on to get a teen bita lemon.
.
Can u believe the same woman followed me? I was getting a little bit
nervous and mad because she was following me without saying a thing.
But I tried to stay friendly, I just said "Gudday maa" again. She finally responded and said, "I am sorry for starring, but
you look just like my youngest son We just buried him two weeks ago" I felt silly for getting
mad as I expressed my sympathy to her. She said she was fine as she knows that his Child is with the Lord. She then
asked me to do her a favour which I obliged. She said "I'm a bit sad
that my child never said goodbye to me before
passing on". She said i wil sumtin 4 her, she
asked me to get in
line behind her so when she's leaving the store, I
should say "goodbye mum" so she could have some sense of closure. Though her request was weird, I however agreed to grant it. So as she
collected her bags from the cashier and walked away, I said "bye mum". She turned and said "bye my son".
.
When d cashier calculated my stuff, she said d
total was N18,750. I said what!!! Can u tell me how a N70 bottled water, N50 gala and N100 teen bitter
lemon equals N18,750?
She said "your mum
said you are paying for hers too". My mum? I shouted. That woman is
not my mother ooo!!!. I quickly rushed out just in time to see the woman
approaching the parking lot. I ran after her and
was screaming..."excuse
me, excuse me!!!". She started running. I caught
up with her just before she was able to close the door of her cab.
.
I kept on pulling and pulling her leg, just like I am pulling yours now! You too like gist self. See as u serious dey read....abeg who get pin mouth charger?! Make i
charge my phone!.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-30 20:05:03

569 Views




An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, “I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample.”

The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells, “WHAT? What did he say? What does he want?”

His wife yells back, “He needs your underwear.”Related

Let me give you this hot gist right from the pot.....
You guys just need to read this.....
It happened in calabar few weeks back. I heard it
today
in a BRT bus. This world is becoming even more
scary
oh.
A newly married man saw a prostitute clothed
seductively by the road. she was just to sexy to be
overlooked. He picked her up and abandoned the
way
home to a hotel. He lodged in with her. In less than
five
minutes he was on top of her. The prostitute was as
flexible as a snake. When he was having sex with
her,
her moanings sounded like a 'hissing snake'. But he
was carried away with her moves and didn't really
give
his concern to it. The married man had sex with her
over and over again. Paid her more than what they
bargained.
He woke up at voodoo hour with the intention of
having
another round with her. He didn't find her on the
bed.
He heard hissing sounds in the bathroom. He
scrambles out of bed and saunters to the bathroom.
He opened the door. His heart beat drummed
heavily
as he saw big pythons talking to each other. He
screamed loudly. The pythons leaped on him. He
ran to
the door and found it locked. The pythons crawled
to
him. He shouted for help and banged the door. The
pythons got to him and jumps to strike him.
Immediately he woke up! And almost screamed but
couldn't when he discovered it was just a
nightmare.
The room was dark. The lights were switched off he
felt. He felt something cold touching his body. He
searched with his hands and it felt like a cylinder
with a
hard skin impregnated with scales. He finally felt
something trying to swallow his head. He touched it
and discovered it was a big snake trying to swallow
him
up. The room wasn't dark. His head, down to his
chest
was inside the snake's mouth. The snake's
poisonous
saliva covered his face. He started struggling and
struggling. But the snake pinned him down. He tried
to
scream for help but couldn't because if he opens
his
mouth, the snake's poisonous saliva will flow in and
he
will unavoidably swallow it forcefully. He kicked his
leg,
used his hands but the snake was too strong. He
managed to bite the snake's tongue. The snake got
wounded and forcefull vomits him. He looked at the
snake with blood on his mouth and discovered it
was a
big python. He grabbed an empty bottle and
smashed
the python. The python collapsed. He jerked up and
jumped out of the bed. He started screaming for
help.
He dashed out of the hotel.
He got home, looking all clean and cool. His wife
was
asleep aleady. He crawled into the bed beside his
wife
and slept off. He woke up almost at dawn and
discovered his wife has turned into a snake.. The
wife
told him everything he did and how he stroke a
python
dead. Before he could apologise, his wife tod him
she
was her mother disguised in a different body. He
cheated on him with her mother. She so got angry.
The
man almost commited suicide. His wife told him to
return to that hotel and carry her mother back to the
house if not she'll kill him. He left immediately and
rushed down to the hotel. He went straight to the
hotel
room and found his wife, mother-inlaw, his sister,
his
mother in the room. They were all hissing like
snakes.
Immediately he realised they were all in the same
secret cult. They stood up and watch him without
saying a word. Great panic gripped him by the
throat.
He couldn't talk....
. And the only problem now is **I don't just know
how
I will end this FAKE story...****
...Happened in Calabar my foot..... Fake story joor...
I'm
sorry if I scared you.
Anyway this is one way of saying *be careful*


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-04 16:11:50

1983 Views



penis research [Read it]


a research carried out by apaiwa shows dat God is ever perfect in creation,he creates everybody with fitted body size, short people with short nose,hand,leg and also penis. fat people with fat nose, hand, leg and aswell penis. tall people tall nose, leg, hand and tall penis for wiring. research reviews dat tall penis can't be resisted, and Dickson the governor of bayelsa state is the tallest of all governor in Nigeria nd still his wife complains dat he is nt good at bed, so d question is whether weda his wife is short, tall or fat?,


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-19 19:25:07

682 Views




One day a wife decided to buy some
crotchless panties to surprise her
husband. She went and bought them,
got home, put one on and waited. When her husband got home, he saw
her spreading on the bed with only the
pants and a bra on. "Come over here
baby." she said smiling. The husband backed off, "If your Kitty-
Cat can do that to your pant. I am not
coming anywhere near it!"
#BOLLY_SMART™®


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-17 21:44:59

417 Views




Read what Inibehe Effiong who shared the photos wrote after thecut… + more photos.... Click the link below

OREGUN BOYS (STORY BY DINDY) EPISODE 4
Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story.
:.........
Godwin, Segun, Frank, Micheal and Chuks had brought Daniel into their group and had pushed him to do the shipment job for them, which went well successfully.
They went to a club to celebrate their success (of the shipment job) which went absolutely great with no hold up. They were seriously having fun and there was nothing that could spoil it.
Frank: "That boy sharp o", he said.
Micheal: "My mind don tell me say him no go dull", he said.
Godwin: "We don dey rich now", he said.
Chuks: "I must buy that car wey I wan buy tomorrow", he said.
Segun: "All of us go buy cars tomorrow", he said.
Micheal: "Guys make we no do am like that", he said.
Godwin: "Why, abi you no wan spend your money?", he asked.
Frank: "I just dey wonder o", he said.
Micheal: "Make una use una head", he said.
Micheal: "Shey una remember wetin do flex?", he asked.
Segun: "Yes na we still remember", he said.
Chuks: "Flex go buy house of 6.7 million and e go buy car of 5 million after the day wey him hammer", he said.
Frank: "That guy foolish die", he said
Godwin: "I never see any Yahoo boy wey foolish pass that guy", he said.
Segun: "He think say SAS no go nab am", he said.
Micheal: "Exactly, if we go rush buy car like that, SAS or POLICE if go trace us and nab us", he said.
Chuks: "You no lie o", he said.
Godwin: "Na true sha", he said.
Segun: "E better make we just wait at least 2 months before we touch the money", he said.
Frank: "No e better may we make am 5 months, we go use the other money wey we get for now", he said.
Micheal: "Yes that's the best", he said.
They agreed not to spend the money which they had just got from the shipment job. They also agreed that when the five months came to an end that they would spend the money with care.
Godwin: "So I guess it's a deal right", he said.
Chuks: "Yea sure", he said as he drank his glass full of alcohol.
Segun: "Yes it is", he said as he poured alcohol into his glass cup.
Micheal: "Sure", he said. Drinking his alcohol.
Frank: "Guys sure na church abi na club we dey?", he asked.
Frank: "Make we leave this matter enjoy life jare", he said.
Godwin: "Guy you no lie jare make we just leave this matter for here", he said.
Segun: "Thank God say una wan leave the matter. I bin wan talk say make we leave am but as all of una put mouth I just jeje keep quiet", he said.
Segun: "E don get one babe wey I don dey look since we enter here", he said.
Chuks: "Ah Segun you and woman ehn", he said.
Segun: "Abeg forget your side jare", he said.
Micheal: "Make I talk true o, e get one babe wey I see her knocker. I swear her knocker make my cock stand 180 degree", he said.
Frank: "[Laughs] see confession", he said laughing.
Godwin: "As to say na confession time make me too confess", he said with a smile.
Godwin: "E get one wey me don sight see when we enter, she fine die. See am there", he said showing them where the lady stood.
Chuks: "Guy this one go kill you sha no go there", he said.
Micheal: "Guy no near there", he said.
Frank: "That one na die o, no put head", he said.
Segun: "Godwin you know say I like you pass anybody here, just forget that babe", he said.
Godwin: "Na wa o, na so the girl useless reach?", he asked.
Micheal: "Guy she useless pass useless o", he said.
Chuks: "One of my guys wey enter her cunt tell me say her cunt yeye. Him describe as her cunt be sef", he said.
Frank: "I be living testimony o. The first time wey I enter am she still tight but months later wen I enter am again, I discover say na wishing well her cunt be. I no enjoy anything", he said.
Segun: "Godwin abeg e better make you still hold that oyimbo girl Cindy wey my babe connect you with", he said.
Godwin: "Segun that oyimbo girl no sweet like that", he said.
Segun: "Na lie jare, her body too fine not to sweet", he said.
Godwin: "Guy shey be na me enter am, so na me go tell you as she be", he said.
Frank: "Oya yarn is how she be", he said.
Godwin: "Her cunt dey medium size and her knocker dey small like Kemi that girl wey I tell una say na she be the first girl wey I press and imbibe her knocker", he said.
Godwin: "The oyimbo girl sef no strong and her cunt dey simple. After one round the oyimbo girl tell me say she done tire", he said.
Micheal: "Oya bad guy!", he said.
Godwin: "I no allow am make she go, I use style tell am say make she turn. And she turn", he said.
Chuks: "Guy you done yeye oyinbo o", he said.
Godwin: "Guy I squeeze her knocker ehn with my hands and fire am non stop. Na she con dey beg me", he said.
Segun: "Chia Godwin I no know say you bad like this o, no wonder my babe tell me say her friend dey sick", he said.
Micheal: "[Laughs] Rod of flame", he said.
Godwin: "The oyimbo no strong and sweet like that girl wey send me and Frank n*de pix", he said.
Chuks: "E sure me say you piece that one too", he said.
Godwin : "Ask Frank na as e go", he said.
Frank: "You wey wan kill person pikin, him and the girl just dey disturb me and the girl wey I carry", he said.
Frank: "We dey separate rooms but our rooms connect to each other", he said.
Frank: "The guy just dey enter the babe anyhow and the girl just dey shout small small", he said.
Segun: "How you take know?", he asked.
Frank: "Guy the noise wey she make ehn, na the room wey me and her friend dey everything dey enter", he said.
Godwin: "The girl small o but she sabi pass the oyimbo girl. make I tell Una how I start", he said.
Godwin: "She start to dey rub my cock then as e stand wella, she con put am for her mouth. She give me cock sucking straight for 30mins", he said.
Godwin: "After that i con push am on top bed, con open her legs wella. I con jump enter am.
Godwin: "After that one, I con carry my cock move pass her cunt, her belle and use am rub pass the middle of her knocker to her neck", he said.
Godwin: "I con carry am near her mouth as she dey lay down. She con grab am with speed con dey imbibe am again", he said.
Godwin: "After like 15mins I con tell am say make she turn back", he said.
Chuks: "Oboy this your tory don make my cock stand strong o", he said.
Micheal: "[laughs] no mind Chuks jare continue", he said.
Godwin: "She con turn con bend down wella. O boy if you see tush ehn, e fresh die", he said.
Frank: "Guy my cock done stand o", he said holding down his cock.
Segun: "Godwin you bad o", he said.
Micheal: "[Laughs] Abeg continue jare", he said.
Godwin: "I con first feel the tush with my cock. I use my cock take rub her tush up, down, left to right and i con use my hand squeeze and press am", he said.
Chuks: "Guy you dey cause komotion for my under o", he said grabbing his cock.
Godwin: "After that one, i enter am slowly con use my two hands dey squeeze and press her knocker", he said making all of them sexually excited.
Godwin: "After 15mins, I con jack am up for wall, con dey enter am again and dey suck her knocker", he said.
Godwin: "She con dey beg me say she done taya, but me no gree I still continue", he said.
Godwin: "I make sure say I finish am that day, I do all the styles wey I know", he said.
Godwin: "The girl no fit stand up the next day after I deal with am badly", he said with a smile.
Segun: "Chai!, my guys you bad o", he said then laughed.
Micheal: "[laughs] Guy I fear you o", he said.
Chuks: "Chia my cock done too strong, I better go find babe to enter", he said as he stood up and went to find a girl that he would pour his dirty thoughts into.
Frank: "My cock done dey commot substance o, I no fit hold am again. Make I go find one good ashewo", he said as he stood up and left......... To be continue.
STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected] Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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(( =º°???°º?a?a?aº °???°º=))
Angels: Almighty Father, we are tired of these Nigerians ... in heaven o

GOD: What have they done this time?

Angels: Everything! They don't listen to instructions! They don't obey traffic rules, they don’t wait for their turn in anything! They are reckless!(exasp erated). In fact they have turned heaven upside down since the first time we started admitting them.

GOD: Pls, bear with them. They are very special to me...ehm let me call Satan in hell to see how he's doing.... (phone rings) hell-o Lucifer, how are things over there…?

Satan: Baba God, pls call me later. There's an issue I'm trying to resolve. (ten minutes later) GOD: hell-o Lucifer

Satan: I'll call you back. The issue has turned into a crisis. (one hour later) Satan; Sorry Baba GOD.

GOD: Lucifer are you having problems over there?

Satan: It is these Nigerians I have with me in hell. He (stammers) they.. they....they have quenched the fire in hell and #installed air #conditioners


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-06 08:41:26

432 Views




My wedding is coming up on d 21st of Dec. 2015
Call my PA 4 ur IVs
Check Google 4 address
Aso-Ebi, #350,000;only cash and carry
Gate fee:
My fans- #20,000
Regular - #50,000
VIP - #100,000
VVIP - #300,000
Table for 5 people-#1,000,000
To sit with d groom-#3,000,000
To sit with d bride-#5,000,000
To sit with d couple-#10,000,000
Thank u n am waiting 4 ur calls
Sleep well as u hustle 4 d money. Start Saving.... #HappyWeekend #B-goF #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-27 16:38:24

493 Views




THE INDIVIDUAL'S HEART AND FACE=>WRITE UP BY DINDY
do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission,thank you for reading this write up...


The Heart is the most Important thing in an individual,a good heart will always get good things and good people around it, but sometimes things are not like that. Sometimes a good heart changes to bad because of the situation or the background or the formulation it follows or followed.
There is one thing to know, and that is "a good heart will always be a good heart no matter the situation or condition".
The bad and evil heart is what I call the deceitful heart. In the case of a bad heart its different because there is one thing a bad heart lacks, which is LOVE,a bad heart is not actually bad in some cases. A bad heart is a heart that cries out for love in a rude manner.
The face a figure of beauty,pride,confidence,attraction and money. The face to an individual is very important because it is an image of identification.
Well every individual think in there different ways and to some of them the HEART is more important than the FACE,some care about the FACE than the HEART,others care about the both and the remaining ones don't care about the FACE or the HEART.
Well for me I will say if your HEART is not good there is no amount of FACE(beauty) you will have that can make people love you, all you will get for being bad hearted is unhappiness. Your bad heart will cover your face(beauty) in a way that each time people look at you all they see is an ugly person.
MY NAME IS NNAMDI AKA DINDY AND I WROTE THIS WRITE UP.LEARN FROM WHAT YOU READ NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND.THANKS FOR READING.....................WRITE UP BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI.........whatsapp number:07087750433.... [email protected]@gmail.com or [email protected] facebook namessy nnamdi.......Skype: 07087750433 or [email protected]:@nnamdiossy








NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Love is the answer. But while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

~ Woody Allen, New York Times, Dec. 1, 1975Related

Akpors was told to pray for dinner but akpors did not know what to say but he pray like this.
AKPORS:in jesus name baba,baba, ha baba lord as i con dey pray baba forgive my daddy dat always fight wrestling with our maid chioma on d bed when mummy don go work ha baba,forgive our gateman that do pressup on my mummys chest everysunday,,ha baba,baba God pls forgive my sister because of d young man microphone he put for mouth and milk dey come out baba in thy mighty name we pray......guess what will happen


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-07 00:16:04

407 Views




Aap Hume Bhool Jao Hume Koi Gum Nahi,

Aap Hume Bhool Jao Hume Koi Gum Nahi,

Jis Din Humne Aapko Bhuladiya,

Samajh Lijiyega, is duniya me hum nahi…Related

Akpos wanted to show to his classmates that he was also intelligent, but his luck never shone, until one day. That morning he read his Bible and was confused so he decided to ask his teacher about what he read. Later in the day, he asked his CRK teacher this question in the classroom:
Akpos:Sir, if the children of Israel performed all those miracles on their way to the Promised Land, where were the Adults of Israel

Please answer him 4 me ooooo


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-08 19:53:50

482 Views




..








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-15 23:54:55

731 Views



Election Result [Read it]


Okon: Hello Akpos, u dey hear wetin i dey hear
Akpos: Na wetin u hear?
Okon: Buhari is winning GEJ with over 1 million votes now
Akpos: Impossible! If Buhari win i will kill myself and run away


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-31 11:28:16

918 Views




Jude: good day mom
Liz: good day my son;how is your life and your wife
Jude: i am coping with life
Liz: son;your dad is not happy with you
Jude: i don't care(enter Loveth)
Liz: is your dad we are talking about
Jude: and....
Loveth: good day ma;when did you come?
Liz: few minutes back
Loveth: let me get you something to eat;should i bring juice first
Jude: will you excuse us;we are talking,for crying out loud;didn't your parent teach you manners
Liz: Jude
Jude: what?i don't know why she is so senseless
Loveth: i am sorry
Jude: sorry for your stupidity(she walked away)
Liz: son;are you okay?that is your wife you are insulting
Jude: and so
Liz: your dad doesn't insult me
Jude: yes;and its because you two have never spent time together;is either he is in this country today and in another one the next day. so don't tell me your marriage is perfect
Liz: is not like my marriage is perfect but is not like this
Jude: don't tell me how to run my home
Liz: are you talking to me like that?
Jude: with all due respect mom;if you don't have any important thing to say,then let me go in and rest(he walked away)
Liz: you see this son of mine;he mannerless(curtain)

Joan: Luke;management want to see you
Luke: what for?
Joan: don't you already know
Luke: i know nothing;if they want to relief me of my job?they can do that without me been there
Joan: are you insane?you want to loss your job
Luke: will you stop nagging me?you are not my mother;nor my wife or my girlfriend and you are not even part of this family(enter Muriel)just leave;go on and why you still the only one left?where is Yemi?
Muriel: oh!now you want to asked. she stole my money and left
Luke: is all your fault
Muriel: son
Luke: yes;if i were you;i will sent this fellow away before she do something worse
Joan: are you by chance calling me a thief
Luke: you yourself say so
Muriel: will you just shut up your gutter Luke: fine i will(he turn to leave)
Muriel: where are you going?
Luke: to easy mine stress(exit Luke)
Joan: ma;i will be leaving today
Muriel: why?
Joan: this is not my house
Muriel: is it because of Luke's attitude towards you?just forgive my son and try and understand him
Joan: i know he is going through tough time
Muriel: then stay for sometime please because i might go crazy if my son doesn't hold again because of that stupid girl
Joan: alright;i will(they both hugged)

Loveth: Jude;dinner is ready?
Jude: did i tell you;i need food
Loveth: you are my husband
Jude: really so
Loveth: of cause;so i have to take care of you
Jude: i just do not need poison(he pour stew on her face)useless girl
Loveth: my eyes(she was try to wipe her face when she slip and fall)oh my God(she scream)Jude;please,i beg you;give me a hand(he turn to leave)please;have pity on me(so he walked towards and drag her up)thank you(but she still could not see;so she rise her cloth to wipe her eyes and Jude stared at her body)Jude;are you still there
Jude: yes;what is it?
Loveth: please pull my hands to the.....(he drag her by the hand into the kitchen and on the tap at the sink)Jude where are you taking me
Jude: just wash your face there(she wash and Jude turn to leave)if i don't help they will say i am wicked(she open her eyes and saw him leaving)
Loveth: thank you(she hugged him)
Jude: will you let go of me
Loveth: i am sorry(she pull herself from him but he dragged her back and push her to the couch)Jude;what do you want to do?
Jude: are you not my wife?
Loveth: Jude;please don't do this to me;i beg you
Jude: why?so you want to save your virginity for him(she plead with him but he refuse and raped her)stupid girl(she kept crying)will you stop this stupidity
Loveth: Jude;why did you do this to me?i will sued you?
Jude: you are funny;i thought you are a lawyer and the law says a man can not rape his wife because the day you agree to be my wife that is when you consent to every responsibility of marriage and one of them is to consummate. so don't bothered(he walked away)
Loveth: you are a monster;i curse the day my mom ever thought of you for me(she wipe and wipe her life away)is this marriage or slavery?(curtain)

Muriel: Joan;where is my son?
Joan: he is not back yet
Muriel: this boy want to kill me before my time
Joan: ma don't worry he will fine
Muriel: i just pray so;can i beg you for something?
Joan: sure ma
Muriel: i am so tired;can you stay and wait up for my son to come?
Joan: no problem just go and rest
Muriel: thank you(exit Muriel)
Joan: where in God's is this boy(enter Luke but he is so drunk)Luke;have you been drinking?
Luke: not really;i want to the bar i first met you but your weren't there
Joan: what bar?
Luke: will you stop being naught(he walked towards her)i was waiting and hoping you will come because you said i should always wait for you but you came home instead;thank God you are here
Joan: Luke
Luke: whoa!you know my name now
Joan: are you okay
Luke: i am fine(he push her down and kissed her)you look different today
Joan: Luke;stop if you think i am Loveth
Luke: you are Loveth;why are you reject your name?(before she could say a thing he force himself on her and rape her)
Joan: Luke
Luke: just relax;we are going to be married aright?(he passed out)
Joan: Luke;i love you(he dragged him to his room and sleep beside him)

Danny: what are we doing here?
David: i just want to tell you that i wasn't able to repay the money i use your car to collect and the date of payment is next week
Danny: how is it my business ?
David: the thing is that;if i wasn't able to pay it then he will start using it or sell it
Danny: i don't care;how you get the money all i know is that;you refund the money and get my wife car back because if my wife fine out the truth i will kill you;forgetting we are sibling(exit Danny)
David: what is wrong with this my brother?(curtain)

Luke: (he wake up and saw Joan beside him)Joan;how did i get here and what are you doing in my room?
Joan: i slept here
Luke: what?(he flashback to last night)Joan;did something happen between us
Joan: what do you mean?
Luke: come off it;just answer me
Joan: you came home drunk and you kept referring to me as Loveth and i try to explain to you but you....
Luke: oh my God!Luke;what is wrong with you?i am sorry;Joan please forgive me(she stood up and walked away with tears in her eyes)i am sorry(enter Muriel)mom(tears fall from his eyes)
Muriel: son;when did you come home and why are you crying?
Luke: i did something bad but i did not meant it to be;i am sorry
Muriel: son;what is it?
Luke: mom;please don't,excuse me(exit Luke)
Muriel: dear lord;please don't let me loss my son because of some devilish girl(curtain)


Jude: hey John;are you sure if we invest this large the contract will pull through
John: of cause;is just a few companies that knows about it
Jude: alright;how much is it what?
John: twenty million
Jude: what?i can invest that much for a contract that involve just beverages
John: is a new product and the demand for it is much and since it is monopolistic in natural
Jude: that sound right;i will get back to you(curtain)

Luke: where is Joan?
Nurse: is at the canteen
Luke: go tell her that her attention is need at ward 101(she turn to leave)no need;i will go tell her myself
Nurse: thank you sir(exit nurse and he walked to the canteen)
Luke: Joan(she wipe her tears)are you crying?
Joan: no;i am not(she tears kept falling from her eyes)
Luke: i am sorry;if it was what i did to you;that is cursing your pains;please forgive me;you are making me feel guilty
Joan: i am not crying because what you did to me
Luke: then why are you crying?
Joan: is nothing(she wipe her tears and walked away)
Luke: Joan;hold on(curtain)




SEE MORE......
you all should bear with me if i delay before typing.......



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Being too strong is a sign of weakness.Related

I WANT NOTHING [Read it]


A guy took his girlfriend out... WAITER: What can I bring for you, sir? GUY: I will have nothing. WAITER: And you madam? GIRLFRIEND: Can I have 2 nothings,
please.
#BOLLY_SMART™®


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-29 21:18:41

518 Views



Happy New Month [Read it]


U think say to see September 2014 ending na moimoi??

Boko Haram reach ur side?

U know how many wey don die ?since Jan till now?
Oga Ansa ?me now

Abi ur family ?get ebola????

God give you legs, and you still dey waka ?as you like.

God give u good health. ?and you still dey complain.

9ja no good, 9ja no good: U dey use bb, tecno phantom, nokia200, ipad & laptop, efen wen u neva get money? to buy car?.

Abi u don see ?where person wey dey coma for sick bed ?dey ping or whatsapps?

Abi na blind man ?wan change DP or comment for facebook?
U still dey complain? there?

Abi u don see where dead body dey do facebook & whatsapps 4 inside coffin?

My friend?, u beta start thanking God now... ?
If u read this message and U no like or comment am that means you no dey appreciate God..?

Oya, drop your comments!!!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-02 09:06:40

885 Views




I closed my eyes for a moment taking a deep breath as he pulled away a little. When I opened my eyes his eyes met mine. "It's a brain tumour."

And there is it was. For a moment I saw my fears reflected in the depths of his eyes, that fear of loss and death.

"What else did he say?" he asked calmly but I could hear a slight hoarseness that told me he was hiding his reaction.

A lot of my appointment with the specialist was still hazy. It was hard to remember much after he'd said the words 'brain tumor'. After a few minutes I managed to remember what other things he'd told me.

"He needs to run more scans to see if he can remove it."

I remember him saying there was a chance that it couldn't be removed and I couldn't comprehend what that meant for me. Grey pulled me into his arms again and hugged me tighter like he was scared to let me go. I wanted to stay exactly where I was where I felt safe.

I lost track of time and then he finally pulled away from him.

"We need to go inside," he reminded. I didn't want to but I knew I had to.

He led me from the darkness of the night into my well-lit bedroom. He held my hand as we descended the stairs looking for my worried family.

"Did you call Reece again?" my mother asked someone anxiously. I felt a pang of guilt when I heard the worry in her voice.

For a moment I hesitated in the doorway savouring that no one yet knew how much our lives were going to change once I told them my news. Grey looked at me and squeezed my hand gently like he was telling me that he was there to help. I took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen just behind him.

"Lacey!" my mom exclaimed as she rushed to me. I let go of Grey's hand. My mother hugged me tight.

Then she pulled away looking down angrily to me. My father replaced the phone on the receiver.

"Where have you been? You can't just go off and not tell anyone where you are?" she began to lecture without giving me an opportunity to answer any of her questions.

"How could you be so irresponsible?" Alex's voice cut across my mom's and I was surprised at the anger in his voice. I'd expected my parent's to be this upset, not my brother. He'd been sitting at the kitchen table but he'd moved to stand beside my mom. He looked like he wanted to wring my neck.

"Cool it," Grey told Alex. My brother glared at his friend. Grey shook his head.

"Let her explain," he said to Alex and Alex looked to me for the explanation.

Grey gave me an encouraging look as he stood beside me. He reached for my hand and held it gently in his. My family's focus was on me as they waited for me to explain.

"I went to the doctor," I admitted quietly. I'd taken the news badly and I wondered how they were going to take it.

"Why did you go to the doctor?" my mom asked even though it didn't look like she was ready to hear the answer.

My father stepped forward to stand beside my mom in front of me.

I brushed my hair nervously behind my ear while I tried to find the right words to shatter their world.

"You were right mom," I said to her as she watched me. "The migraines were getting worse and I started to develop other symptoms. There was the fainting, my vision blurred and then I began to feel like a pins and needles feeling in my arms."

My mom remained still and I saw my father reach for her hand. They knew whatever I was going to tell them wasn't going to be good news. They all looked concerned as they gravitated closer.

It was so quiet, like the calm before the storm.

"I didn't want to worry anyone until I knew that there was something wrong. I went to a doctor and he referred me to a neurologist," I tried to explain why I hadn't told them. "I went to the specialist a couple of days ago and I went to see him today to get the results of the tests he ran."

My mom tried to remain calm but I saw the frantic fear in her eyes. My father kept his face free of emotion. I swallowed hard trying to keep the emotion under control. Fingers entertained with mine and I looked to Grey.

"Tell them," he instructed gently. He gave me the strength to face my parents.

"He did some scans and he saw something..." I started to explain as I bit back the tears. "I have a... brain tumor."

My mom's hands flew to her mouth as the news hit her and my father put an arm around her. For a few moments she was stunned and then she reached for me. Holding me tight she began to cry. I cried with her. I felt the warmth of my father envelope us.

A heavy atmosphere settled over us. When my mom and I stopped crying Grey led me to the chair and I sat down feeling exhausted. It had been one stressful day and it felt like it was never going to end.

"I need to make some calls," Grey said before he left the kitchen. Who on earth did he need to call at this time of night?

I rubbed my forehead feeling a headache starting up. Was it the stress that had caused it or was it the brain tumor?

Alex sat down in the chair beside me as my parent's began to talk. We didn't exchange any words we didn't need to. I saw the look in his eyes as his hand covered mine and gave it a squeeze. He was scared and so was I.

"You'll be fine," he soothed and I gave him a weak smile. There was that saying mind over matter. Maybe if I got told that enough, or even told myself that enough times it would work and I would be fine. But I wasn't an optimist. I was one of those people that looked at half a glass of water and considered it half empty.

A little later Grey walked back in shoving his phone back in the front pocket of his jeans.

"I made a couple of calls and I got an appointment for the top neurologist for tomorrow afternoon," he said.

"Thank you," my mom said hugging him and when she released him my father shook his hand.

"It's no problem," he assured them. He looked to me.

"How did you manage to get an appointment so quickly?" I asked knowing how long it had taken to get an appointment with the specialist I'd seen and I could only imagine how difficult it would have been to get an appointment with the top neurologist in the country.

"I pulled some strings," he said brushing my question aside.

I could have argued but I didn't. Instead I said, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said holding my gaze. His eyes softened a little and I felt my stomach flutter to life.

My mom made everyone something to drink as we all sat down at the kitchen table. It seemed to help her deal and kept her mind busy. It was a sombre atmosphere. No one wanted to really talk about it but it hung in the air over us.

I held my glass of juice in my hands twirling the juice and trying not to think about things. There were so many possibilities of how this would work out and I couldn't contemplate any that didn't end with me surviving.

I yawned. All that happened had finally caught up to me and I was feeling exhausted.

"You're tired," my said. "You need to get some sleep."

"I'll see if I can find something to help you sleep," my mom said as if she'd just read my mind and left the kitchen.

I wasn't sure I would be able to sleep but I needed to try. When I stood up I felt Grey's hand on my wrist.

"I need to talk to you tomorrow morning," he said and I gave him a questioning look.

"Why not talk to me now?" I said.

"It can wait until you've had a chance to sleep," he said cryptically.

I nodded. Once my mother had given me something to help me sleep I lay tucked in my bed wondering what Grey wanted to talk to me about.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Oh it was such a wonderful moment. I forgot about
Mary and my problems, forget about Chioma and my
pains as i lashed Anita with all my might.
We did two rounds before we fell on the bed breathing heavily,
“i hope i tried?” i asked as i stared into her eyes.
“yes. You made my day and it has been quite a while”
she smiled with satisfaction.
“i like you very much, that’s why i keep coming back
after your many promises and disappointments. Perhaps because you are my type. So young and
employed already” she added softly. I closed my eyes
and said nothing.
I really didn’t know what to say moreover i equally
remembered the new phone she was demanding and i
truly wasn’t capable of affording her choice of phone that very moment due to my numerous problems.
I knew she was looking forward to it and i couldn’t help
but wonder the type of excuse i will give her this time
around.
Very early in the morning, Anita dressed up and
prepared to leave. I smiled as i watched her dress. “won’t you spend the weekend with me?” i asked
casually. She smiled and shook her head.
“no dear, I planned spending the weekend at home
with my parents. I’m actually heading home from here”
she replied.
“ok, it’s cool” i murmured, fetched seven thousand naira from my wallet and gave to her. She hopefully
took the money, quickly counted it and stared at me
curiously.
“how about the phone you promised to get me. You
know i’m really in need of it. This isn’t fair” she asked
without even thanking me for the money i gave her. “but you already have two expensive phones which are
still in good condition. I will get you a phone but not
today. You won’t believe all i have been through for the
past few days. I currently have a lot on my shoulders
right now” i replied calmly.
“this is just your way. Uncaring and wicked. I’m leaving, don’t bother seeing me off” she hissed and left while i
smiled to myself. Her insolent behaviour wasn’t a new
thing to me so it never bothered me. Moreover I knew
she would be back someday.
But truly i was tired of the whole damn game. I badly
needed to settle down with a family of my own. The fun i used to see in flirting wasn’t there anymore and as
a man i got to save and do something useful with my
money.
____
Later in the morning, I cleaned up my bedroom which
Anita was too big to clean before settling down in my sitting room where i busied myself watching one T.v
programme to another and equally thinking of the
right way to start my second and final assault on Mary.
I was tired of seeing the old lady, tired of pretending to
be in love and tired of the situation i found myself in. It
was time to steal the test results, i just couldn’t afford to continue waiting.
“but stealing the papers are one thing and ending the
relationship another, How do i end the relationship
without making it look obvious that i had everything
planned?” i wondered.
“of course i have to draw out another plan, something like introducing a non existent man into the scene. I
can arrange someone to make threatening phone-calls
to me whenever Tessy is around. The man can claim to
be her fiancee or ex-boyfriend” i thoughtful reasoned
with a smile, thinking deep again.
“but no i will have to arrange that maybe three days after her apartment has been searched and the papers
gotten. Then with the tension of the robbery and
sudden phone calls from her alleged fiancee, i will
cleverly link the two events together and play the
victim game with her. Then after i will arrange for the
same guys who stole the papers to come over to my apartment and beat me up. That will be the end of my
relationship with Mary” i summarized with a smile,
even though i equally realised that the whole set up
could cost me all my savings.
I quickly went through the newly thought out plan over
and over again, searching for flaws. Seriously the sex i had with Anita really calmed my
mind and made my brain sharp and working.
“who says sex isn’t good for the body?” i smiled as i
picked up my phone to call and brief Jboy, because he
had the big role of vetting my plans and equally
recruiting boys for the job. But it really would have been cheaper, manly and more
matured to bravely tell Mary to go her own way without
going through all those rigorous plans..

>>

Funny Lyrics: Harrysong Ft. Jose Mourinho – Reggae Blues Remix
Harrysong- Reggae Blues remix ft. Mourinho Chorus
Afta d matches face d boo
(d blues, d blues)
Make u do as I do (I do, U do)
Enjoy d matches Chelsea lose
(d blues, don lose)
Share d points n score d goals
(d pts d goals)
Every team wana win
(d blues d blues)
As far as IVANOVIC dey play
(dey play dey play)
Verse1.
Bobo c Naismith wey dem dey boo(dey boo dey boo)
He don turn Amokachi d bull
(d bull d bull)
Mourinho dnt know wat to do
(to do to do)
Oga Abrahimovic just dey look
(dey look dey look)
If Ivano play dem must lose
(must lose must lose)
Porto na tiger bitee d blues (d blues d blues)
Oya now
Dem Hazard oooo
He don taya ooooo
If Mou no sell lvanovic
Dem go still dey lose.
Jesu!
* Please this is just a joke, don’t take it personal ooooo


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-06 19:54:56

530 Views



JUST SAYING [Read it]


1) A guy asked u for sex and u asked, "Do u love me?.what do u expect him to say or Are U a LEARNER?



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-29 18:07:32

338 Views



MARA episode 10 [Read it]


We had fed this woman with these gibberish she had been vomiting oh God!
God, your daughter needs real refurbishing!
“Mrs. Olowo, I beg your pardon but your perspective about God is so wrong! One, no Bible says heaven helps those who help themselves, it had just been adopted for use by many people trying to avert the right spiritual course they are supposed to take. Two, God isn’t slow! Mrs. Olowo, He is merciful! He loves! He cares! He might appear slow but no, God’s time isn’t Ours’ and His’ is always the best time. If you trust him wholly, forget sister, He is never too late!”
I just couldn’t say much.
My heart panted so hard.
“So, how did he not save you when you fell into your fits of epilepsy?
Why was it that some incisions on parts of your body, done in the names of the gods healed you? Why?”
“I didn’t complete the statement the other time ma’am. The epilepsy stopped when I was taken to the traditionalist but it didn’t last! The devil never gives something that would last! The problem I had was epilepsy and by the time in came back after about 3 months later, it added real convulsion, rheumatism, blood vomiting and many more” I explained and she looked disgusted
“God of mercy!” she exclaimed, holding her chest firmly.
I was happy that that one hit her with a bang.
“But it took just a touch of His garment, the touch of faith and Jesus took them all away”
“Hmmm…but what happened to the incisions on your body?” she asked and I smiled as I relived it all.
After Jesus had healed me and I had become born again, I started having series of dreams, different masquerades pursuing me in the dream, different masked guys sleeping with me in turns; I saw myself carrying white calabash on my head and my body covered in white!
It was a scary thing!
I did wake up every day then with a start, panting, sweating and very scared.
I was so confused
Was this how it would feel at first after giving one’s life to Jesus?
“After months of tormenting dreams, I spoke out to my pastor who quickly sent for two deliverance ministers after listening to my story. They set to pray for me and see me vomiting different substances. The greenish thing I was made to drink at that time, I vomited too, a ring was vomited too and it was really a tug of war as everything done against me through those incisions were nullified and destroyed.”
“So, there are specially meaning attached to incisions?” she asked and I nodded
“You are right ma’am”
She gasped
“Do I also need deliverance?” she asked
“Yes you definitely need one. But you definitely need a man of God who has really been called of God because if a fake one lays his hand on you, it’s as good as proclaiming death sentence on you.” I said and she nodded
“Would you get me a pastor?”
“Yes. I would bring him tomorrow”
“That would be so nice of you.”
“You are welcome”
“Thank you for talking to me like this o. I am so grateful”
I smiled as I looked into her face.
I was supposed to have peace that her victory was near but no!
I felt as if I had not been able to even get to the root of the problem.
What else is the issue oh Lord?
I held her hand to pray with her and an electric current surged through my veins.
She smiled at me
…and I reciprocated in a very weird way ever!
“I will see you later. Let me go and attend to the other patients”
>>It Continues Still

akpos was a popular rapist nd a bad boy wu likes raping ppu at nyt.one day he was passing 2ru a corner and he saw a a beautiful gal passing,he quickly stop d gal and force her 2 lie down.he removed her panties bt 2 his suprise d gal didnt budge.he took out his dick and started fucking her.as he was fucking her d gal turned 2 a SKELETON,and he cant remuv his dick again


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-22 17:00:37

769 Views



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