Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?

So she wouldn’t get “Hearing Aids”.Related

Failing to plan is planning to fail.Related

Greedness [Read it]


On Sunday, I was sitting in the church, my friend invited
me for a
thanksgiving, and when it was time for offering, the
offering basket
was passed around. Despite d Pastor's charge for gud
offering, I still hurriedly and secretly pulled out N50 from my pocket
and dropped it.
Just then, the person behind me tapped me on the
shoulder and
handed me a N1,000 note. I smiled, how generous, then
majestically I looked around and put d N1,000 in the basket and passed
it on, then
I turned and thanked d man seriously for being so
generous. He
replied "don't mention, be more careful next time, it fell
frm ur pocket" Whaaaat!!!!!.......usher
please wait wrong Transaction!!!!!!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-02 19:20:23

708 Views




Hoodlums on Friday invaded the Christ Apostolic Church, Pillar of Fire,
located at LA primary school area of Akure, the Ondo state capital,
during service, destroying properties and carting away the day’s
offering.

It was gathered that the attackers, armed with
whips and other dangerous weapons, subjected the worshippers and
presiding pastor, Pastor Arije, to severe flogging.

The
reasons for the attack was not immediately known. Sources feared that a
rival Pastor of one of the churches within the area may have sponsored
the attack.

Eyewitnesses reported that the hoodlums
stormed the premises of the church on motor bikes and destroyed plastic
chairs, wall Clock, glass windows and electrical appliances found in the
church.

The assailants also inflicted varying degrees of injuries on members as they tried to escape the attack.

It was gathered that although policemen came to the rescue, they were also attacked, and those arrested were freed as a result.

Police
Public Relations Officer, Wole Ogodo, who confirmed the incident, said
one of the policemen was stabbed by a broken bottle by the assailants
after they were chased to Odopetu in Oke Aro.

Mr. Ogodo
said details of the incident was still sketchy since the ugly incident
happened, adding that the Command was still investigating the reasons
for the attack.

Power of money [Read it]


A Pastor was havin deliverance on his
member,
He started praying and said to the
demon :
''come out of him, wot do u want
from him??". .
The demon answered him : '' I
want to win a lottery dat worth one
billion
dollars!!"
. The pastor on hearin dat immediately
shout
:"I command you to come out of him and
enta me in jesus name"...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-15 21:07:18

327 Views




Going to bed that night i was both happy, satisfied, proud but strangely their was an odd melancholy feeling and i had to seat down on the bed for a while going over all that happened.

“What if papa caught us, what would i have done?” i shuddered at the thought of papa catching us.
“surely he would disown me”
“Did i do the right thing bleeping papa’s new wife?”

No girl have ever turned me on the way she does but still she is a sweet poison that i knew would certainly backfire if i don’t cut it off in time but heck it was worth the risk, i mean she is a very young sexy goddess, any sane guy can kill for that p---y. forget she is married to my father.

My phone gave a mild beep while letting out silvery white glows at the same time.
I could see from the notification that it was a whatsapp message and it was from my step mum.

Amanda: Hey Sugar you were superb tonight, you gave me the best i have had… ** in love face **

Me: Lol… you were wonderful too

Amanda: Thanks sugar boy… you will never regret having me around.

Me : Thanks… Goodnight.

Amanda: Sleep tight mah sugar boy **kiss**

I tiredly and lazily dragged myself to the bathroom for a shower, just a quick encounter with Amanda have taken such wild toll from me leaving my legs a bit wobbly under me.

“Should i tell Jessy?” I asked myself in the bathroom ignoring the spraying cold water that caressed my body, through the shower tickling down my body like it was a race.

“Oh nooooo i can’t, Jessy will not be happy about it at all, their is not even any need for her to know, it’s not like i will continue to do this with Amanda” Somehow i knew deep down i was lying to myself.

I dropped myself on my bed on getting out of the bathroom and travelled to disney land of wonderland. ** ** **

“Nnam, wake up” A faint voice called out to me, mild but it was broad and definitely baritone with a lot of familiarity.

Everything was dark in my eyes but my lazy eye lids slowly slid open giving my iris the task of adjusting to the bright light beams that filtered its way my eyes.

Papa’s form slowly took shape as i rubbed sleep off with the back of my eyes, slightly angry to be woken up and still needing to return back and finish my dreams that bombarded me in pure Dstv-like HD.

Papa was wearing a long flowing white agbada that seemed to make his pitch dark complexion a bit fairer and a traditional red cap on his head, He looked nice but he always does’ i reminded myself.

“Nnam am going out now, won’t you go to school today or is today a public holiday? Papa asked me in igbo, dropping a crisp slim wad of neat mint #1000 naira notes on my bed, am sure it was more than 4.

“Good morning papa” I yawned, stretching my long frame on the bed as i reached for my phone, a white iphone4 that lay tiredly on the far side of my bed.

Papa walked out after telling me to get up and prepare for school.
Papa might be a politician and all but he definitely was a mother and a father to jessy and i at home.

“That sad and guilty feeling overtook me again looking at papa who treats me more than a mother can and i am paying him back with bleeping his wife.

I glanced at my phone still with lazying eyelids, the figures 9:43 clearly showed on my screen.

“d--n!!!” I blurted out, sprang up from the bed directly to the bathroom with Usain bolt speed, the lingering sleep in my eyes vanished

“Oh my God!!! i over overslept and i have a morning quiz today” I hurried over a cold shower and managed to muster some fast clean up.

Sliding the #5000 papa dropped on the bed into my wallet, i grabbed my back pack and walked down stairs clad in a black jean, and yellow t- shirt.

Surprisingly papa was still in the sitting room talking with Amanda laughing as i entered…

“Shiiitty love” I Cursed under my breathe.

“Good morning ma” I greeted Amanda taking a quick scan of her in a long gown that hugged every part of her body provoking every contour, curves and that wicked sexiness of her body. Could see papa wearing an ear to ear grin, that type that makes you look as mumuish as a cartoon character.

“Good morning sky” Her silky milky voice was thrown back to me, with that look in her eyes that seemed to be fixed more on my crotch area than my face.

I entered the dinning to hurry over a light breakfast of chocolate drink and bread, downing my food with my ears still on the fading cracking laugh of papa who was reluctantly taking his leave through the front door.

“Nawa oo papa wont work again because of a girl” I hissed still minding my breakfast.

Amanda’s light foot steps made me look up towards the sitting room as i was leaving the dinning to catch up with papa so he can drop me off.

Amanda took hold of my shirt and drew me a bit roughly towards her making me tilt my head a bit downwards..

Her lips grabbed mine with that same roughness her hands exhibited with her tongue intruding into mine making me sub-consciously take my hands behind her back as i forcefully pushed her more into me, her beautiful boobs crashing against my skin just a little below the chest.

“See you when you get home sugar”…she whispered into my ears sounding like a song.
The kiss broke and i rushed out to meet papa but deep within me i knew
I WAS IN FOR IT

..To Be continued....

>>

Ana slowly moved her eyes down to check what she was wearing. At first she couldn't recognize the furry dress covering her chest, but was amazed how comfortable it felt. At the same moment she felt her dress moving and pulling her back towards something warm and hard. Horror struck her, as she realized, it was not a dress, but someone's hand covering her bosom

Ana: This is story of Ana, an orphan, who lost her parents when she was few months old and had to grow up in welfare homes. In spite of all her difficulties she is determined to keep on fighting and be successful in her life. One unfortunate incident changes her life forever, but she is still determined and continues her journey.

Prince: Cute, energetic and little over two years. Born to Ana and Rahul, because of circumstances out of their control. Name is Charlie, but his mom calls him prince. He is also heir to billions of dollars, but does not care, and can be easily bought with a chocolate milk bar.

Rahul: Rich, smart, handsome, intelligent and heir to the Shah empire. Accomplished golfer, party guy and leads life on the fast lane, until fate leads to a chance encounter with Ana and falls in love with her. But Ana vanishes without a trace and he chases her shadow wondering if he will ever meet her again.

If interested, please read further to learn how they meet again and what happens to them.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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new Month [Read it]


I want to use dis oportunity to wish u all a 
Hapi new month wich is d month of joy 
Nd hapiness.(December).


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-01 11:33:07

65 Views



Finding a love2 [Read it]


After tope embarrased gbenga,gbenga felt bad and told idowu what happened.Idowu told gbenga that had it be he was the one tope insulted he would slapped her.He told gbenga that his gentility should not be taken for stupidy.
The next sunday femi collected bolu's username on 2go and her number,after that he told gbenga and idowu and he shared it with them.gbenga wooed bolu on 2go but bolu did not accept,at the same time femi wooed bolu too and she said the same thing.But femi keeps disturbing bolu and eventually bolu accepted
Gbenga was unhappy with bolu and femi relationship so he fought with femi,not combat fighting but they exchange abusive words and snubbed themselves
Gbenga seek advice from idowu and they plan an evil plan
Tope who had a misunderstanding with bolu told one of her friend to destroy bolu's relationship with femi because bolu accepted to date femi and this hurt tope because she told bolu that she had feelings for femi
Kemi's friend collected bolu's number and abusive her on phone to leave her bf alone.she also came to the church to shout on bolu and she called her prostitute.Bolu was annoyed and broke up with femi,femi tries to explain he knew nothing about the girl but bolu blocked her ears with cotton wool
Femi kept begging bolu for 3months but bolu decision remains unchangable.Since then bolu hates femi and she kept malice with him.
Gbenga then wooed bolu again and bolu accepted,gbenga and idowu started making jest of femi,but femi did not answer them
Tope tells femi he loves him with her body but femi never wooed her,later tope wooed femi and femi turned her down.She started buying him things and sending him cards but still,femi never gave her chance.
Femi oneday asked kemi if she was there when the strange girl came to shout on bolu and kemi said yes.Femi asked her if she know the girl but kemi denied knowing her.Femi told kemi if she can get the girl for him,kemi should ask him any favour..Kemi thought and thought about it and later explained what is behind the scend.....stay tuned for part 3


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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CHILDLESS WIFE [Read it]


A young bride made her first
appointment with a gynecologist and
told him that she and her husband
wished to start a family. "We've been trying for months now,
doctor, and I don't seem to be able to
get pregnant," she confessed miserably. "I'm sure we will solve your problem,"
the doctor reassured her, "If you will
just take off your clothes and get on the
examining table." "Well, alright, doctor," agreed the
young woman, blushing, "But I would
rather have my husband's baby."
#BOLLY_SMART™®


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-17 21:47:34

649 Views




this house is not for sale oooo







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-02-11 00:46:37

601 Views



just for laugh [Read it]


Just for a laugh. If the children of Israel are like
Nigerians while crossing the red sea, they would
hv wasted the whole day in d middle of the sea,
taking pictures and uploading it on Facebook,
whatsapp,bbm, Twitter even on instagram with
comments like:
(1). Chilling with Moses.
(2). Miracle things on point.
(3). Cruising on the red sea.
(4). Omo see fish flexing.
(5). Pharaoh no fit catch us.
(6). Fish for sale, ping for delivery.
(7). Flexing with uncle Aaron
(. Swimming mode activated.
(9). Me and my boo on fish hunting
(10). We don cross the red sea na God win.
Dim2


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-08 09:40:55

294 Views




A boy of 6yrs and a girl of 5yrs
came out of a house
and met one man as he was walking
down the
road. The boy started:
Boy: brother good afternoon
Man: good afternoon, how are u?
Boy: fine. Brother can I ask u a
question?
Man: (looked at him and the little girl
by her side)
yes... go on
Boy: can my mum get pregnant?
Man: (surprised) how old is ur mum?
Boy: she's 45yrs old Man: she can
get pregnant
What about my sister, she's 20yrs
old
Man: yes she can get pregnant
(wants to leave)
Boy: this last one brother
Man: yeesss
Boy: can chiamaka get pregnant?
Man: who is chiamaka?
Boy: the girl with me (pointing at
chiamaka)
Man: how old are u chiamaka?
Chiamaka: am 5yrs old
Man: no, u cannot get pregnant
Boy: (turns to chiamaka and said) I
told u that cannot get pregnant. Let's
go inside and finish it.
The man fainted.......


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-24 13:30:23

504 Views



The Mosque [Read it]


Peter and David were lost in a desert. They were so thirsty and hungry that they could do anything for a cup of water and some food. Suddenly, they sighted a mosque, then Peter turned to David and said, "lets pretend we're Muslims, so that we can get some food and water. My name will be Ahmad and yours will be Umar." 


"I'm not going to change my identity," says David. 


Off they went into the mosque. On getting there, they met the Imam who welcomed them warmly, he then asked for their names. Peter said, "I'm Ahmad" 


"I'm David" replies David. 


The Imam ordered some food for David, then turned to Ahmad and said, "Ahmad, happy Ramadan."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-30 04:57:43

108 Views



Riddles [Read it]


There was a plane crash @ d middle of england nd south africa where wil d survival buried


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-30 09:06:17

386 Views



Guilty or not? [Read it]


A wife was sleeping in the middle of the night, she suddenly shouted, "Get up quickly my husband is here!!!"


The man got up from the bed, jumps up out through the window, hurts himself and then realized, ''Damn,I am the husband!!!''


Who's guilty?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-22 17:42:14

226 Views




I rested my head on the window pane, the events of the day
flowed through my mind. David's voice echoed loud and
clear.
My God! I gasped. Tejumola where did you go wrong? I
asked myself
I looked at the bright moon searchingly, maybe I might find
a solution there; but the moon seems dumb. I turned my
attention to the stars but they were dumb too.
"What do I do?" I racked my brain.
Of course running away isn't an option. Bola said so when I told
her about David few hrs ago. She had warned me
sternly not to run away, unless I want to vacate the earth.
Could she be right? Maybe I should just drown myself or I
should drink poison?
No! I shook my head, I can't! If I do, what would become of
Eniola, besides I love my life.
"Tejumola Benson, think hard o" I told myself.
Eniola stretched and turned in her sleep, murmured
something throwing the covers away. I redressed the
covers, covering her properly.
"Leave me!" she protested
"shhhhh, keep quite, its midnight!" I hushed her back to
sleep.
I lay beside her, trying my best to sleep but it eluded me. I
gazed at the ceiling till day-break.
*************
"Mallam Adamu sannu o" i greeted the hausa man who sold
beef close to my shop, as I unlocked my shop.
I came to shop late because I went to Eniola's school to pay
her school fees.
David hasn't showed up, its almost a week now. So Bola
was actually right, he meant no harm.
I sighed, as I dusted the provisions.
Only God knows how my parents are for now. Maybe Baami
has forgotten about me..
"Iya Eniola welldone o" Tola's mother greeted me.
"I came to buy some soup material o." She announced
sitting on a stool.
"Ah Ahn! Mummy Tola, you should have just given me the
money while I was coming to shop this morning now..." I
said with concern.
"No problem o!" she replied looking around.
"Errrm, shey you know Iya sikira?" she asked when she had
the surity no one would hear us.
Mummy Tola the Amebo! I smiled to myself.
"Ehn now."
"Toh! The woman is in trouble now o" she made a face.
"trouble?"
"Yes o! You know she's having 15 children ba? Toh, the
husband don impregnate that corper wey dey their
compound o" she concluded.
"Ehn? How did that happen?" I asked holding my chest.
"How did that happen? Hehehehehe, na how e take dey
happen, na im com happen" she laughed.
"Wonders shall never end o" I clapped my hands in gossip
fashion.
"Errm, mummy, what do you wanna buy now?" I quicky
said, in order to stop her from bringing up another topic.
She look disappointed" I wanted to tell you how Iya Demola
killed her husband's son" she said with a frown
"Ah Ahn, leave that one till I come back home in the
evening" I laughed.
"Are chasing me away ni?" she feigned annoyance.
"Noooo, haba! My shop is your own too now.." that was
how I got rid of back-biting that morning.
That afternoon, I was sipping garri when I saw Tola running
towards the shop, her feet was bare save the socks.
"Mummy o, Mummy Eniola oooo" she wailed throwing
herself on the cemented frontage of my shop.
"Tola, ki lode? What happened?" I asked holding her.
"It's Eniola oo" she wailed the more.
My heart skipped, my hands became shaky...
"What happened to my baby?" my lips quiverred.
"She ....she...she...was...she...is...yeeeeee!" Tola cried the
more.
Tears filled my eyes
"Talk to me Tola please...where's she?"
"some people catch her o...they put her inside motor and
drove away" she managed to explain
"Yeeeee! Haaaaa! My daughter o!"
my daughter has been kidnapped...I raved like mad.
I threw myself on the flow, rolling from left to right and vice
versa.
"My God o! Eniola ooooo!Haaaaaa! Moti ku ooo! Baami
ooo...E gba mi ooo" I screamed and wailed.
A crowd gathered , with alot of Ohhs and ahhs!
I jumped up, about to run to Eniola's school, when
someone gripped my hands... I turned sharply with tear
stained eyes.
"David.." I whispered
I remembered his last words, maybe he abducted my
daughter.
"David where did you take my daughter to? Where is baby? "
I wailed shaking him vigorously.
"Give back my Jewel" I shook Him some more.



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I MISS YOU MUM EPISODE 4 (STORY BY DINDY)
Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story...
.......PRESENTLY......
I got up after my flash backs, then I looked at my barcelona wall clock. The time was 7.15, so i sluggishly got up and went to the bathroom, I pulled all my cloths, then turned on the shower.
I remembered how my life sunk, like a ship that was sunk by a whale, in the blue wide ocean of Atlantic.
..............FLASH BACK............
I was 13 going to 14 and life for me was easy with no stress, all I could think of was just how to eat, read, sleep, games, football and how I was gonna be with a beard..
My mum was pregnant again --my dad was a sharp shooter, him no dey slack at all [laughs]--, my little bro was now 4 years old, but he was till stubborn and naughty.
After three months, my mum belly grew bigger and my mum started eating alot and I mean 'alot', I guess it was because of the kid in her. She usually gets emotional unnecessary, which got me scared sometimes.
I, my mum, my dad and my bro always argue about the gender of the unborn child.
I would say "Mum it's gonna be a girl".
My little bro would say "[With a kid's voice] No a boy".
My dad would say "Yes a boy".
My mum would say "Ah, we already have two boys, so I choose a girl".
My dad would say "I know that it's because junior said he wants a girl that is why you want a girl too".
My little bro will say "[With a kid's voice] Mummy you are cheating us oooo". (my dad told him to say that)
My mum would laugh --My mum has an amazing laughter--.
My mum fell really sick, a week before her 9th months of pregnancy. I was really scared when she was sick, although my dad, the prayer warriors, and the church prayed for her.
I cried each time she vomited, anytime my dad was not around, I usually go sit by her side --There is nothing in this life, like the love of your mum beside you--.
The week passed away and it was time for her to goto the hospital --l would have loved it if my mum never went to that hospital--, I was not around that morning because we (my younger brother and I) went to school.
When I and my little Bro came back from school, my sweet mum was not around, my aunty told me that my dad took her to the hospital for treatment and she would soon be giving birth to the baby. I was happy to hear that part "of another child" being brought to our house, my aunty also told me that we would be visiting her on Saturday.
The weekend, came very slow which annoyed me very much because I really and truly missed my mum. All the things my teacher taught on Friday, were like non sense to my hearing because my mind was thinking of how I would see my mum the next day.
The long break bell rang and I thought it was the closing bell, so I started packing my books then stood up.
My friend beside me asked me where I was going to, I told him that I was going home, he laughed at me then said "Neil you are funny ooo, it's not yet time for closing na". I came back to my senses and sat down with a sad face.
After 2 hours we closed, I went home straight to ask my aunty whether we would still go the next day, lucky for me I met her on my way in. I asked her and she told me yes, but I was still unease, all through the afternoon, evening and night my mind was not settled.
Finally saturday came, I was the first to wake up and prepare because I really really loved to see my wonderful mother. My dad, bro and aunty woke up after I was done preparing.
After some hours, we were ready to go to the hospital to pay my sweet mum a visit.
While my dad was driving to the hospital, I was so uncomfortable, it was as if the car was not fast enough --Although we encountered a little traffic on the way--. My dad stopped at a super market to get something for my mum, my aunty accompanied him leaving I and my little bro in the car.
I was so annoyed sitting and waiting for my dad and aunty, they had been there for 25mins, but it felt like hours for me.
My little bro was there playing with his toy, the next thing that entered into my mind was "Why is this man and woman slow na, let them do quick so that I can see mum na".
I was about to get down from the car to go call them, when my dad came out from the super market with my aunty.
I wasn't thinking straight at that time, but Lucky for me I didn't go inside the supermarket to call them, my dad would have given me a deadly knock on my head.
We got to the hospital and I was about to run inside the hospital, when I came to my senses again, I realised that i didn't know where she might actually be.
We entered the hospital, then we went straight to her room. The hospital was our family hospital, they knew us very well and my dad usually comes there time to time to pray for people.
We went upstairs, every single step made me feel like disappearing, every single step felt like a thousand step, I was not myself again because it was a long staircase. Finally my dad stoped and turned to the left, so did followed we.
Immediately I got into the room my mum's stayed, I went straight to hug her --A side hug not a full hug, remember she is pregnant, I didn't want to stress her too much--. I saw her and started crying.
She said "don't cry my superstar, as you can see I'm fine, I know you really missed me".
I told her how much i missed her and how I have always wanted to see her, we both smiled and hugged again......to be continue...."After i have the experience with life".
Warning this story is about to get more emotional.
STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected] Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi.







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Logic [Read it]


There were two nuns...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most? What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me.

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?

A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty ..........hmmmm.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-29 08:04:30

3174 Views




If strippers are now called-Exotic Dancers. Shouldn’t drug dealers be called Exotic Pharmacists?Related

Best Answer [Read it]


I fetched a bucket full of water and as I was about entering the bathhouse when my Centee b asked "Wonda-boi are u going to bath." No am going to watch the water bath itself. After some time I was preparing rice and stew when this same Centee b asked "Wonda-boi are u cooking rice".No am watching the rice dance in the water or guys are my answers wrong


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2016-01-30 10:00:13

758 Views




Where there are friends, there is wealth.

~ Titus Maccius PlautusRelated

Jeremy felt those electric sensations run over him. His heartbeat accelerated the moment she kissed his hand. He gave a big grin as the words she said to him sank into his head. This was the woman for him, he was totally sure, the woman he wanted to spend eternity with. “I should punish you for last night.” A smile flittered across his face.

“Punish?” Purity repeated. Those were not the words she wanted to hear and they were coming from Jeremy. She left his arms and faced him. Staring deep into his beautiful, hazel eyes. “I just said I care about you and you are thinking of punishing me? Please.”

The smile was replaced by an expressionless gaze. He tried his possible best not to laugh and not make any sign that’d make her notice. Deep within him, he felt like laughing at her. She took him seriously. He was gonna pay later on, he knew that.

“Jeremy, please,” Purity didn’t know why Jeremy was bringing punishment into this. What if the punishment was to call off the engagement? But he could never do that. Those eyes were unreadable, his gaze was stern. “OK. I’ll explain. He forcefully took me out there, then he said bad things about you. I was angry at him so, I slapped him on the face. He hurt me when he pressed his body against mine. It was frightening. He really-”

It was happening again. She had been stopped from talking. His lips were all over hers. Sucking out every bit of moisture from it. Loving the taste of them, the kiss was being deepened with passion, she in turn, responded. He pulled her closer, she clung to him, holding his neck.
*
*
*
“Dammit! Ernest!” Tricia furiously screamed into her phone.

“Will you stop screaming?” Ernest impatiently answered. “What is the problem?”

“You ask me what the problem is?” She retorted, flaring up. “We were discussing something really important and you walked out on me. Who does that? A sane person?” She angrily folded an arm.

Ernest dragged in a breath before replying. “It was urgent. If I did not get it done today, I was going to lose it.”

She snorted. “And what is more important than me?”

“It had to do with my business.” His voice was calm.

“Your business? Was that difficult to say before leaving?” She shook her head miserably. If she didn’t take things easy, she might end ip in a psychiatric hospital. She already felt like she was going insane. “Jeremy is still out there with Purity. I can feel it. What’s your plan? I can’t wait anymore. Really can’t. Don’t want your virgin girl to have any more of him, I want him back!”

“Please, calm down and take things easy. I can’t disclose any of that to you on phone. We’ll meet up tomorrow and discuss in details.”

Tomorrow sounded like seven years. It was too far, just too far. “No! Tomorrow’s not convenient for me. Lets meet now! I’m sure you are done with that business of yours. Meet me at that bar!” She demanded like she was his mother.

“Who are young give me orders? Gosh,” he sounded so irritated. “I can see why my cousin broke up with you, shit!”

The line went dead.

“How dare you! Hello? Hello?” She pulled the phone from her ear. She looked at it and saw that the call had already been disconnected. “Bastard!” She slammed her cell against the wall.

“Tricia, darling,” David Cayson called. “Hasn’t Jeremy Broderick arrived?”

“No, father,” She tried to be calm. “Just called him, office duties. He’ll be here as soon as he’s done.”

“That’s great!” David replied excitedly. “Can’t wait to meet your fiance.”

Tricia groaned.
*
*
*
“Did you like your punishment?” Jeremy drawled, excitedly.

Purity gazed at him dumbfounded. “You mean the kiss was the, my punishment?”

“Mmm-hmm.” He cackled with laughter.

“Jeremy! You scared me. You just wanted to tease me, right? Seriously?”

“You should have seen your face. You were about to cry. I should have taken a picture.” He was full of smiles.

“Is that so? You didn’t even listen to a word I said.” She thought of what to do.

He continued laughing.

She grabbed the glass she had earlier handed him and spilled the remaining content on his shirt. “Serves you right.” She got off the chair and ran off.

“I’m coming for you,” he called after her.

FEW DAYS LATER

“Ma’am, so you’d be resigning after your marriage to Mr. Broderick?” Heather asked with inquisitive eyes.

Purity laughed softly. “Yes. The distractions would be too much for me and I can’t work under him.”

“Distractions?” Heather repeated. “I don’t understand.” With squinted eyes, Purity scanNed Heather intently. “Who are you planning to share this with?”

Heather frowned and made a face. “I can keep secrets. I’ve learnt.”

“Really?” Purity was surprised. “Hmm,” She smiled. “You’ll wanna keep this one. Um, why can’t you concentrate when a man is around, you’re always carried away?”

“Because you love that man? Wait,” Heather thought silently for a while. “Oh,” She smiled in a silly way. “You are in love with Mr. Broderick and that’s why you don’t want to work under him.” She replied.

“Brilliant answer.” She liked that.

Heather immediately became shy. “Thank you, ma’am.”

Purity nodded and continued going over the paper work on Heather’s desk with a grim smile on her face. Ah, Jeremy. He was always on her mind.

“Are you really going to leave?” Heather blurted out. It hurt her to know she’d no more be the secretary of Miss Purity Theodore. Yes, she enjoyed certain privileges working with her, but that was not it. She had gotten used to her boss and was gonna miss her a lot. She was hurt at times, but she knew how Miss Theodore treated people. She wasn’t a bad person.

PUrity held Heather’s gaze. “Yes, I am. Are you sad?”

She nodded. “I’ll miss you.”

PUrity was touched, deeply. She had no idea Heather had become so fond of her. She was thinking she was tired of her. “I’ll miss you, very much.”

Purity dropped the papers and beckoned Heather to move closer to her. “Lets share a hug.”

Heather was startled. “A-”

Before she could make any more sound, Purity pulled her close and embraced her. “Thank you. Thanks for putting up with all my crazy acts. I’m sorry for that.”

Heather hesitated to hold Purity. After Purity had thanked her and apologised, she found the will to put her hands around her. “Thank you too, ma’am. You didn’t fire me.”

Purity laughed. “You’re funny. Papa never gave me that right to do that. I just used it to….you know….” She broke off, laughing.

Heather joined too.

They left eachother.

Then, the door opened and Ernest walked in, confidently. He had a smile on his face.

Purity met his gaze and returned his smile. She had nothing to be cared of. Ernest had lost and he was never gonna blackmail her anymore. “Heather, I’ve got to talk with this man.”

“Alright, ma’am. Be careful.” Heather didn’t like Mr. Turner a bit.

“This way, Mr. Turner,” Purity gestured and flashed him a mocking smile.

Ernest pretended not to have noticed that and walked towards the door leading to her office. What’s making her so bold?

“One more thing,” Purity said to Heather as she got near her door. She turned to face her, “How about taking a break and being my maid of honour?” She didn’t wait for a response, she turned and walked into her office. She left Heather staring at her back and then at her closed door, Heather’s eyes were dilated and her mouth, agape.
*
*
*
Purity plodded to her swivel chair after closing the door behind her. She sat down and crossed her legs. She faced the already seated Ernest. “What can I do for you?”

“You know why I’m here.”Ernest replied, flatly.

She tapped the fountain pen she had taken from the pen holder on her desk. “I don’t think I do. Please, let me know.” Purity didn’t care about time and she was willing to spend it playing games with him. Jeremy could come in and find them that way, it did not matter. She was at peace with him and he knew everything.

Ernest sighed deeply. “I have come to give you another chance to become mine or-”

“Or what?” She stopped him from talking. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to tell him what transpired between us nine years ago.” he threatened.

“Is that so?” She laughed sardonically. “What makes you think he’ll believe you? That was years ago. I’m a saint.” She rolled her eyes.

This is going to be tough, he reasoned silently. What happened to her? His brows furrowed. “You are not a saint. I know of someone else who is aware of the entire details.”

>>

Quite Ironical:

Facebook is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account!Related

Bad Liar [Read it]


Bad Liar







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-17 14:06:49

602 Views




A healthy attitude is contagious;

But

Don’t wait to catch it from others.

Be a carrier.Related

Read full story about her..
Click the link below.

1.Kissing your man is nt a
problem. The problem
is how you do it. Stop making
Sounds like a car
Crash.
2, Screaming during Sex is romantic and its not a problem. The problem is
Shouting words like ; "
JESUS: OOH MY GOD: HOLY MARRY"
You are having Sex, Not a Church Service.
And besides i
don't know if you are reminding God to Punish you Later.
3, Wearing short skimpy skirts is nt a
problem, infact its very Sexxy. The
problem is
wearing your Min and looking all nice but when
you see Guyz you try to Pull it down now forcing
it to be long. Don't you see that
you are deceiving
yourself.
4, Loving your man is nt a
problem. The problem is Changing your Surname on
Facebook and put
his surname before you are not
even Introduced to his mother. Just Chill, i would
hate to read your Post Later saying " MEN
ARE WICKED AND CHEATS"
5, Saying all Men are the Same is
not my problem but Who asked you to
try them ALL?
6, Bleaching your skin is not a problem .The
problem having White Face, Yellow hands,
Chocolate Lips and Black Legs. Are you a Zebra?
7. reading this post a'int a problem,infact it's
welcomed, but
the big problem is reading without commenting or
sharing


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-01 09:48:36

866 Views




A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.

~ John Calvin MaxwellRelated

I want to Rang [Read it]


I want to RANT! I know Girls will dislike me for this but I must post it.rnJust think about this... A guy will make an update, full of Wisdom, Educative,rnInspirational, laced with polished grammars on his Facebook update and gets 3 likes and 1 comment!!!rnA girl will post, "My back is paining Me". All guys will turn to doctors overnight for "my back is paining me" and she will get 209 likes and 456 quack doctors giving out therapy and prescription comments on how to cure backache!!!rnA girl will post, "I'm making Wheat and Okro lunch". You will see 506 hungry guys indicating interest on comment and 356 others liking it!!!rnA girl will post a blank picture on Facebook! You will see some guys commenting, "You look dark and sexy".rnThis is crazy GUYS, PLEASE STOP DOING THIS ....rn# TRUE or FALSE


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-13 04:51:28

500 Views










Hahahahaha!! I just can’t stop laughing at  this Naija joke. This

is the awkward Truth About some husbands.

A group of men gathered at a church

conference on how to live in a loving

relationship with their wives. The men were

asked, “How many of you love your wife ?” All

the men raised their hands. Then they were

asked, “When was the last time you told your

wife you love her ?” Some men answered

today, some yesterday, majority didn’t

remember. The men were then told to take

their cell phones and send the following text

to their respective wives: I love you,

sweetheart…

Then the men were told to exchange their

phones so one can read the other wife’s reply

to the love message.

Here are some of the replies:

1. Have you impregnated someone again

2. That was then, not now

3. You wan borrow money abi?

4. What did you do again? I won’t forgive you

this time.

5. Meaning?

6. Is that a new song?

7. Am I dreaming?

8. If you don’t tell me who this message is

actually for, you will dye today!

9. U dis man!! I asked you to stop drinking.

10. Abeg na who be this?





NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-19 08:30:48

214 Views



Translation [Read it]


Abeg make una help correct this english : are u shy, dont be shy because am not shy so why shall u shy.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-08 02:20:22

528 Views



The truth [Read it]


Akpos talking to his wife, Cynthia:


CYNTHIA: I'm I beautiful? 


AKPOS: Yes! 


CYNTHIA: I'm I smart? 


AKPOS: Yes! 


CYNTHIA: I'm I one in a million? 


AKPOS: Yes! 


CYNTHIA: Why are you just saying yes to all my questions? 


AKPOS: Because the truth is bitter.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-17 07:09:21

184 Views




With the New iPhone 6, one can take a picture under water,

.

..



….

…..

……

…….

but just once!Related

???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ????
Argument of the day.
Wikipedia : I know everything.
Google : I have everything.
Facebook : I know everybody.
Internet : Without me, you are all nothing.
NEPA: Keep talking …we shall see!
Generator: I am there for them
Fuel: Bros you say wetin? ????.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-21 18:10:49

280 Views




As much as the issue was looking
strange to Mansa, the gateman was smelling of
alcohol, so Mansa didn’t take him serious. She
thought he was drunk. “You know what, i will be
back some other time. Take this and use it for
something” Mansa said and gave out some amount of money to him as a token and left.
Asabea on the other hand was trying as much as
she could to reach Chris but it was to no avail. She
thought Chris was trying to be smart on her and
that got her mad. She thought of doing her worst
if she didn’t hear from him by close of the day, little did she know that Chris had been arrested.
She then planned to expose Chris and hurt Mansa
in return if she didn’t hear from him. Already she
had tried to eliminate Mansa but Mansa survived
that. Asabea was virtually responsible for
poisoning Mansa at the hospital all because she felt Chris was having something to do with her.
She came to that conclusion when she met Mansa
and Chris at the living room the time she visited
Chris. She read meanings into it when she saw
Mansa placed her head comfortably on Chris’s lap.
It wasn’t her fault though. she had always seen Chris cheat on her, and to her this was no
different. It was left with only a matter of time for
her next action to be known. Meanwhile, Elder
Asare the church’s financial secretary had also
noticed the tremendous withdrawals from the
church’s account made by Mrs Amposah. He had called the attention of the elder that visited Mrs
Amposah earlier on and arranged a meeting with
him. Elder Asare had been waiting for long at his
office but the other elder was not showing up. It
was only after an hour passed the scheduled time
that he arrived. “Sorry Elder Asare for my lateness” he apologized as soon as he arrived. Without
wasting much time, they began with what they
had in mind. “Elder, I called you not for any
reason but lately I have noticed some huge
withdrawals made by Mrs Amposah without my
approval. Its even obvious that the entire board is not aware of this. I think we should call for a
board meeting immediately and bring it to their
notice” said Elder Asare. “Elder Asare, there is
something you need to know. Mrs Amposah is up
to something. I must admit that I know about the
withdrawals. I went to her place the other time to inquire but the answer she gave was not to my
satisfaction. We need to get to the bottom of this
matter,” the elder said. ” Are you sure of what
you’re telling me?” asked Elder Asare. “Absolutely
Elder,” he answered “What do we do then?”
Asked Elder Asare. “Lets call for a meeting with the board members without her notice then we
can decide from there,” he suggested. ” That’s a
good idea. I will do that as soon as possible”
Elder Asare said. Mansa by this time had gotten
home. He met Kuu alone at home, specifically, at
the living room. They both hugged each other. Honestly they had missed each other. However,
Kuu felt it was the right moment for him to
confess to Mansa what he had really done to her.
“Mansa, there is something I need to tell you,
kindly sit down” Kuu said. As soon as Mansa sat
down, Mrs Amposah came in. Kuu saw that her mother looked very disturbed and worried. She
had been crying since she heard that Chris had
been arrested. “Mum, what is it? Are you ok? Kuu
asked. “I’m just coming from the police station.
Your brother has been arrested.” Mrs Amposah
said. “What! for what? Kuu asked “He was caught in possession of illegal drugs” she said. “Not
again!” Kuu said feeling pity for Chris. He wanted
to help even after all what Chris has done to him.
“I just want to be in my room now, I’m not
feeling well. Riri will be spending the night with
us today. Kuu, show her the guest room when she comes. I will be traveling with her tomorrow
morning,” Mrs Amposah said. “Let me take you to
your room,” Mansa said and helped Mrs Amposah
to her room. Kuu didn’t like the idea of Riri
spending the night there but Chris’s issue worried
him more than anything. He had no option than to wait at the living room till she comes. It was
getting late and Mansa had already gone to bed
except Kuu. Riri arrived after 11pm with the
excuse of being stuck up in a traffic. Her outfit
perfectly fitted her exposing her beautiful curvy
body. She was honestly looking stunning. For the first time, Kuu saw how curved her body was.
Indeed, it was very difficult for any man to ignore
such a nice body figure. Kuu showed her the
guest room and went back into his room to sleep.
Around 1:30am, Riri sneaked into Kuu’s room.
She was in a silk nightie. She got closer to Kuu who was far asleep by then and kissed him on the
lips gently, waking him up. Kuu got up and saw
Riri. Her perfume smelled all over her. Kuu
immediately knew the intention she had. As to
whether he would be able to resist that
temptation, only time would tell.


>>

Teenage Love. [Read it]


**PART ONE**
CHAPTER 1…….
It was a bright saturday morning
on the 7th of september 2013.
Akinola oluwasegun was walking
along a popular street in Ibadan,
Oyo state. He was dressed in a
white T-shirt and a black pant
trouser and a black vickers shoe.
He was on his way to Loyola
College, a government owned
secondary school around Agodi
gate GRA Ibadan for his WAEC GCE
exam.
He entered into the school
compound and walked towards
the school building. Being his
first paper English Language, he
had no idea of where the
examination hall was situated.
So, he had to ask for help from
other candidates who had come
the previous days for chemistry
practicals and Commerce. He
walked up to a girl seated on the
staircase reading to ask for the
help.
“Hello, good morning.” he
greeted.
“Good morning.” she replied.
“Please, are you here for exam?”
he asked.
“Yeah.” she replied.
“Okay. Please, which way is the
examination hall.” He asked.
“I don’t know. This is my first
time here.” She answered.
(disappointed) “Okay, lets ask
others the way to the exam hall.”
He adviced.
“Okay.” She replied standing up
and dusting her skirt.
*TEN MINUTES LATER*
The invigillator walked into the
exam hall carrying a green sack
with the inscription; WEST
AFRICAN EXAMINATION COUNCIL.
No 62. He was accompanied by
five teachers of the school.
A laptop was removed and with
a thumb printing device attached
to it.
“Line up for your biometrics.”
one of the teachers barked.
After the completion of the
biometrics. The candidates were
asked to sit down according to
their numbers. The answer
booklets and the question
papers were first distributed
before the attendance was
marked. The paper lasted two
and a half hours. The paper
ended by 11:30am and they
were given 3hours break before
the commencement of the paper
2&3(objectives & the Test of
Orals respectively).
Outside the examination hall,
students were seen in group,
some in fours, in fives and so on
discussing and arguing over the
just concluded paper.
Oluwasegun(segun for short)
wast sitting alone under a big
three near the school football
pitch. He was flipping through
the pages of the WAEC English
language past question. Just then
someone tapped him from
behind. He looked up and saw
his cousin Omolayo Akinola.
He stood up and hugged her.
“What are you doing here?” he
asked.
“I came to greet my friends
writing their exam here. She
answered.
“Where is your centre?”
“Ikolaba grammar school.”she
replied.
“Most of my friends are in that
centre.”he said.
“Are you the only one here?” she
asked.
“Yes, am the only one here from
my school.”he answered.
“You must be feeling lonely
o.”she said.
“Yeah”………
The gisted for like ten minutes
before Omolayo stood up to go,
“Let me introduce you to my
friends over there.” she said
pointing to a group of 2 boys
and 4 girls gisting.
He stood up and followed her
towards the group. Immediately
they saw them approach they
stopped talking.
“Where have you been? One of
her friends jummy asked
Omolayo suspiciously.
Ignoring her question. “Meet my
cousin, Segun. Segun meet my
friends.” she introduced.
“Hi guys.” he greeted.
“Hi.” They chorused.
They all hung around till it was
1:30pm, 30minutes before the
next paper.
“Bro, i think we should get going
so, we won’t be late.” Omolayo
said.
“Alright, bye. Segun answered.
Omolayo left with four of her
friends remaining two who were
also in segun’s centre. Among
which was Jummy.
–to be continued–


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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It was late and he decided to take his leave, I saw
him off to the gate. I came back into my room; I
found my phone had rung several times with nine
missed calls. I slide to check who had called and
it was Brian Williams.
I don’t usually call guys but I made an exception on this one. I dialed his mobile and after the
second ring, he picked the phone and said “Hello
Merissa” and this conversation ensues.
Merissa: Brian, How are you?
Brian: I am good Merissa. Are you able to call a
Mechanic to fix your car for you? Merissa: Oh yes, actually, a friend of mine who is
handy with things like that was kind enough to
render his help.
Brian: Okay, I am glad you are alright. By the way,
which hostels are you situated?
Merissa: It the Lima’s Brian: Oh I see. I will come pay you a visit.
Merissa: That will be fine, thanks for your help
today.
Brian: Oh! It was nothing. Take care of yourself.
Merissa: I will, you too.
We hang up. Askaline returns from a group meeting and she is surprise to see cup of ice-
cream and cake on the table.
“Did we have any visitor today?”
“Yes, Kofi was here” She finds it very hard to recall
any Kofi that is a mutual friend.
“Is there any Kofi I know?’ Askaline asks raising her eyebrow.
“Yes, you know him, the Kofi that wants to take
us to the Samini Concert, you remember?”
“Oh! Oh! What was he doing here because I
remembered vividly we placed him in his ‘proper
shoes’ and not to get closer to us again” “Well, you don’t know what happened to me
today. My car froze at that narrow path that leads
to the campus and I was scared up to nigh that
someone might use that
advantage to his unthinkable act. Then, Brian, my
knight in shining armour came along and save me from the ‘dragon castle’.
“Who is Brian?”
“Brian was passing by in his car and he gave me a
lift to school”
“What does that got to do with Kofi and this
fairytale story you are telling me?” “Kofi was kind enough to fix my car for me after
bumping into him at the lecturer’s office. Can you
imagine? That lecturer won’t leave me alone,
always requesting me to
have sex with him for an ‘A’ grade in his course”
“Ah! That greedy and ungrateful old man, what are his problems? Why does he keep on harassing
the female students with no fear of God? What
kind of society do we
live in?”
I left Askaline in her inexplicable world to ask
questions to whomever she was asking as I trudged to the shower and cleaned myself to have
a night rest.


>>

“Wisely said.” Darren studied his friend intently. “What’s up with you Jeremy? You have really changed. You actually never cared about women in the past or how they felt about you. Presently, you are even willing to risk your life for this one women. The one woman who made you take no from a lady. Has she enchanted you? Got you under her spell?”

He laughed. “What I feel for her just keeps growing as the day passes by. I can’t keep missing her. I want to see her a and know if the intense feelings will disappear.”

“Oh. And that’s when you’ll fall deeper into her charms.”

“I don’t know what to call it yet. I’ve never felt this way in my life.”

“Afraid to call it love? Afraid to love her? She has broken into pieces, the walls you built round your heart.”

Jeremy nodded solemnly. “Maybe.”
*
*
*
“Excuse me, miss,” Dr. Allan said to a lady snooping around the hospital for hours now, “How may we help you?”

The lady causing so much trouble spun around to face the owner of the familiar voice that had just spoken to her. She was ready to vent all her anger on him. “I am looking for a patient. He was admitted here two days ago. I need to see him!” she demanded.

Dr. Allan was shocked knowing it was Tricia that had been causing all the ruckus that morning. The previous day, she had said she’d come back. She really meant it? “Calm down, Miss Tricia. Who exactly are you looking for?” Allan was wearing a cool smile, knowing that would provoke her further.

“You know who it is I am searching for,” she snapped. “Its Jeremy Broderick!”

“Oh,” Allan said still smiling. “He was discharged this morning. He recovered quickly and his memory is back. Isn’t that a relief?”

He knew what he was doing. He was deliberately irritating her with his calm words and smile. He was having his way, she was already filled with anger, she was so mad at this damn doctor! She so much wanted to smack that smile off his face. “What do you mean discharged? How is it possible he got his memory back so fast?” she rhetorically asked. “Maybe I should call a more qualified doctor to handle his case since you’ve proven that you’re incapable of handling it.” She was going to get back at him.

“Do you mind following me to my office to see for yourself the file that shows his recovery? He confided in me that he remembers everything.”

Jeremy. Jeremy. She didn’t know what to feel for him anymore – love or hate. “Why wasn’t I informed?”

“I’m sorry? Are you one of his relatives? Friends?”

“Idiot!” she spat at him, “I am his wife-to-be! Show some respect!” Yes, she deserved respect, respect from Jeremy’s so-called doctor.

Allan tried gulping down his laughter. He used his right palm to cover his mouth and her chuckled silently. He withheld himself strongly. This bitch was amusing, she’s really crazy, parading herself as the fiancee of his good friend. Now he understood why Jeremy was tired of her. “If you’re truly his fiancee, you should have been the first to know.” His palm was out of his mouth.

Tricia rolled her eyes, “He’ll definitely call me later.”

“I understand his girlfriend to be Purity Theodore. The woman of his dreams,” Allan never stopped smiling innocently. “She’s his only wife-to-be.”

Tricia was goaded to the point that she flung her right hand to give the doctor a slap.

Allan was fast enough, he caught her hand right before it got to his face. “I don’t take it easy with women who hit me. Neither am I good friends with women who pry into people’s lives. You don’t want to be my enemy.” Allan’s gaze was murderous, that smile had slowly turned into a frown.

“Let me go!” Tricia ordered, almost on top of her voice. She wasn’t going to be intimidated and insulted by this jerk of a doctor. She had to deal with him. She tried to get her hand from his grasp, but it wasn’t working. His grip was deadly. “Let go!”

“I understand she was recently kidnapped by you and a brat. I’m watching you. Purity’s watching you too. You won’t get away. Especially you.” He dropped her hand and walked out on her. Smiling to himself for putting fear into her. It was a good job. They’d be so proud of him.

Tricia stiffened, watching the doctor leave her alone. Blood drained from her body. She was indecisive at that moment. Terrified and much more confused.

“What are you going to do to me?” Purity asked with a shaking voice.

“Nothing, yet my love,” Ernest replied. “You have a very smooth skin despite the fact that you’ve been here for days.”

“Days?” Purity repeated. He had drugged her, but how could she be unconscious for days. Did he keep drugging me? “What did you give to me?”

“Something strong, my love,” he couldn’t take his hands off her smooth skin. It was so alluring, he loved it. His desire intensified, but he was able to keep it in check. He’d patiently wait till she was ready. That was how much she loved her.

His touch was beginning to upset her. It was so irritating as his kiss. She never wanted him to even lay a finger on her, still he was doing more than that. “Get your filthy hand off me! Do not touch me!”

“Sweetie,” Ernest called calmly, “Don’t raise your voice. Jeremy might hear you,” he taunted, receiving dagger looks from Purity.

“And he’s gonna come. He’ll rescue me. You’ll go to jail!”

He laughed out loudly to her amazement. “That’s never going to happen. Jeremy Broderick, lost his memory and doesn’t even remember you. I’m sure Tricia Cayson is by his side, taking your place, filling his heart with love and good cheer.”

Those words stabbed her heart. It pierced into her soul. Jeremy, lost his memory? How could that have happened? No, it was another of his lies. It wasn’t true. “You are not going to scare me with your lies. It won’t have any effect of me.”

“It will soon. Your Jeremy has another woman by his side. Please forget about him, you’ll just cause yourself more harm because he has already forgotten all about you. You don’t exist to him.”

Purity refused to believe him. “Its not true. No matter how convincing you sound, I’ll never believe you. I’m not scared of you, I’m not scared of anything!”

“We shall see,” Ernest turned his back on her and began walking out of the room. His footprints ere left behind on the the dust found everywhere in the room.

Purity called after him, “We’ll definitely see! I’m not scared of you or anyone!”

He stopped. “But you are scared of loving anyone. You haven’t fully given your heart to him. I still have a chance.”

Before she could open her mouth, he disappeared from the room. She could hear his footsteps echoing. He left her to ponder over his last remarks. What he meant, it took a while for her to get to it. He was right, though. No matter how she wished he was wrong, he remained right.

She’d been afraid of ever loving anyone because of the way she’d known the opposite sex from her childhood. It was different this time. Jeremy was different from all the men she had met. Yet, she was not sure if she should love him or not. She was still afraid to love him or not. She was still afraid to love. On several occasions, she’d told him she cares about him and by her actions, she indicated feelings for him. Could it be love? Was he going to love her forever? Being hurt badly was what she could not bear to pass through. She doubted she’d ever survive the pains.

Tears streaked down her cheeks as she thought of Jeremy. He was probably hospitalized. His memory was gone? She suspected it had something to do with Ernest. Jeremy was ill because of her. She recalled the pains she put him through and that even made her weep more. “I’m sorry, Jeremy,” she whispered, in between tears.

She raised her face and for the first time, she got a clearer view of her environment and surroundings. Dust law over every surface like dirty snow, pristine dust layer. There was not a footprint anywhere except the ones left behind by Ernest. Dust bunnies, the size of bowling balls tumbled across the floor boards, towards unseen settles. Free papers piled up to the letter box and cascaded all the way to the foot of the rough wooden stairs. Old bed cups lay on a coffee table thickly entrusted with dried up mould. Dust covered mirrors. Smell of mildew, stale air filled the entire room. Air thick with dust, shafts of light bursting through gaps in the boarded up window. Light steaming through the gaps in the heavy velvet curtains. There was absolute silence, not even the hum of a refrigerator. She couldn’t even make a sound.

The only occupants in the house waved their webs between the spindles of the stair banisters and from the ceiling to the wall, she was now one of the occupants. Old cobwebs billowed in the draft.

She was certainly in an abandoned house. The entire room was scary and got her terrified. A shiver ran down her spine.


>>

Richard lit a cigarette from the almost empty pack on the stool beside his bed; the rumpled white sheet was thrown flimsily to cover the lower part of his body. He pulled in the cigarette and exhaled immediately watching the smoke rings disappear into the air as Karen dressed back into her clothes.

“You haven’t said a word since morning.”

“It’s still morning” he glanced at the wall clock hanging on the wall opposite the bed as it was almost 11 a.m.

“Don’t play smart Richard, what’s on your mind?” Karen played out a lazy smile and looked at him, her lips were slightly swollen reminding him of what they had just shared but his mind stubbornly went back to the woman he had fallen in love with, he still didn’t understanding how it happened but he couldn’t rid her out of his mind.

“Let’s end this”, he replied, suddenly seeing the shock quickly masked on her face

“Finish what?”

“The sex, what we’re doing. Come on Karen, it’s high time we stopped this- after all , we’ve been on for months now.”

“You can’t just decide out of the blues .We had an agreement. No strings attached, just casual sex, plain and simple.” She stood by the post of the large bed “Besides, why would you suddenly come up with that?”

“Because I realized that this isn’t the life I want for myself, I want to meet a nice girl one day, fall in love and settle down with children, not some sex toy for the moment.”

“I’ve never called you that and we both agreed this was all there is to it. I do not understand this sudden change of heart.”

“I met someone.”

Karen’s mind flashed back to that night of the party and the surprise she had gotten, her ears perked up at the thought of it. “This woman, did you meet her at the party?”

He stared at her, wondering the reason for her sudden interest in Priscilla. “No” he replied, skeptical.

“Then I see this has been going on behind my back?” she pushed, exaggerating her shock

“No, it just sort of happened” Richard replied dreamily shifting to rest his back on the bed slab, he puffed out what was left of the cigarette. “It has been complicated”

Karen said nothing. Her mind was in the ninth cloud- in pleasure already! Loosing Richard was a small price to pay to gain Tunde; she would use it to her advantage. ‘So our precious ice princess, Priscilla was having an affair with Richard. Indeed, it really was a small world!’ she thought silently.

“Karen why are you quiet?”

“Nothing, I guess I don’t know what to say”, Karen replied looking at her bag as she picked it up. She needed time to think, plan and strategize. She needed time to celebrate; finally, she would reach the pinnacle of her success and be the happiest woman in Lagos! “I wish you the best anyway, you’ll need it.”

Richard eyed her under heavy scrutiny “You don’t sound so convincing”

“Do I need to? Everyone needs a bit of luck now and again”; she feigned a smile looking at him. “Sincerely, I wish you the best. Good bye Richard, we’ll be seeing.” She walked towards the door and opened it.

“Karen”, Richard called after her not being too convinced about leaving things that way. “Thank you for understanding”

She laughed walking out of the room full of joy. Richard sighed, thankful it was over and his thoughts turned back to Priscilla “Priscilla” he whispered to himself alone in the room. He could not understand what else he could think of when it came to her. His heart swelled in love for her. He wanted her happy, happy with whomever she was with but he would try to win her, he would woo her and give her all things she deserved that he could lay his hands on. The shrill ringing of his phone interrupted his thoughts and he reached for the object. It was the subject of his thought- Priscilla.

***

Priscilla climbed up the steep stairs of the apartment complex wondering why she had not been patient enough to wait for the elevator. She could still hear the loud blowing horns and the security guards chattering below the stairs. She looked at her phone and the number plate on the entrance of a flat on the third floor.

Yes, it was correct. She looked around her hurriedly pressing the bell with the growing guilt of being here. She knew it was a bad idea the moment she had parked in front of the building along Kofo Abayomi road in Victoria Island axis.

Was Richard in? She prayed he was not, she prayed, she…

The door opened and Richard came out, he broke into a brilliant smile as soon as he saw her standing on cold feet.

“I thought you’d never show up”

“Can I come in?” Priscilla asked looking around the empty hallway, he stepped aside letting her walk into the flat catching a whip of her light perfume.

As soon as Priscilla stepped into the apartment, she liked it. A part of it was painted white and decorated with various paintings of different sizes and colors, the raw beauty of the room made her think she stepped into a dream. For a moment, she forgot Richard stood behind her until he spoke.

“I had the sitting room tidied as soon as you said you were coming, it’s usually scattered”.

She turned to look at him well for the first time; he wore grey slacks and a black loose t-shirt. She could tell he just had his bath seeing crystals of water slide down the frame of his face. Priscilla smiled “Thank you”

They kept silent just standing there, she knew in her heart she should not have come, her mind kept going back to Tunde who she had left at home in some work spilled over from the office. He had asked her where she was off too and even now, she felt guilty lying to him.

“You look good”

She felt his gaze slowly slide over her “Thank you”, she replied, her voice sounding like a whisper of silk. “I came because I had to let you know once and for all…”

“That we can’t go on” Richard completed for her and she looked away contending at the view of the busy road from the large sliding door of the balcony. “I do not think that is why you are here,” he stepped closer without her realizing. “Because I’m going for that tour?”

Priscilla looked at him and nodded “After this, you can’t call me anymore; I can’t have relationship with you.”

Richard flinched inwardly at her words and looked away thrusting his hands in his pockets “Can I ask you a question?” Their eyes met and did not break away “I want an honest answer.”

“What is it?” she asked slowly clutching her purse more tightly.

“Do you love me?” he saw her shock at the question “Do you feel anything for me?”

Finally Priscilla broke the eye contact and walked towards the door “Please don’t ask me that Richard, please don’t.”

“I need you to answer, damn it!” he replied wretchedly raking his hands through his hair “I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I just keep thinking of you Priscilla!” He walked to her then and she backed against the door trying to put some space between them.

Priscilla knew she was trapped and her body betrayed her, responding like a magnet to his closeness.

“Don’t try denying what’s between us Priscilla, your body says differently” He came closer and her breathing increased. Richard laughed softly placing a kiss on the base of her throat.

“Please…”her voice caught in her throat as he trailed kisses on her temple, her body jerked feverishly in response.

Richard stopped and looked into the brown depths of her eyes. Priscilla shivered feeling as though he could see into her soul; finally, he kissed her very gently on her slightly parted lips. It took a long time before either of them could speak.

~~~~

…PRISCILLA put on the last of her clothing in tears, she felt covered in shame and bitterly guilty. Richard stood by the sliding door silently watching her. He tried again to talk but it was ignored “Priscilla”

She said nothing jerking her bag close to her she started towards the door with her eyes blurred “Priscilla please stop!” he said hurriedly walking towards her.

She twirled around to face him with her eyes full of grief and rage it wretched his heart “Stop and do what? What?” Priscilla replied in tears. “Stop and do what? Can’t you see that we being close will end up in a disaster?!”

“I am so sorry Priscilla”, he raked his hand through his hair in agitation. “Can’t you see what you do to me? I love you…what will it take you to see that? Why do you choose to remain with a man who makes you unhappy?”

“Is that your business? Why can’t you see that I’m not interested?”

“Fine then what is you doing here? Do you love me at all Priscilla?” his voice shook as he spoke “Do you love me?”

“This is madness”, she replied in frustration and wiped the tears from her eyes with back of her hand

Richard laughed full of scorn for himself “That’s the same thing I keep telling myself. I don’t understand why, why I fell for you.”

She thought of her husband at home and a tear escaped from the corner of her eye “Richard” Priscilla said softly “I’m sorry you feel this way, I really am.”

“No, no, no please don’t tell me that” Richard replied in a very helpless tone making her feel worse “Please don’t tell me that, I love you Priscilla, I really do.”

“I’m sorry Richard”, she replied more firmly though her voice shook. She didn’t want to stop seeing him; he made her laugh, he made her feel special and he gave her the attention she lacked; but now, it was clear to her this was the reason why she felt attracted to him but it was not enough to love him. She never did and maybe one day if things turned differently she would but not now.

“I’m sorry but this is where this ends for me. No more and I wish you the best in everything”. Priscilla opened the door and walked out shutting it behind her without looking back.

Another tear slid out of her eye as Priscilla went through the empty hallway, she decided to walk down the stairs and head home to the man she had grown to love.

Three days later, she sat hurdled in a corner of the bathtub filled with water and fragrance scented roses. Priscilla sat still in the water staring at the tap lost in thought, her mind battled with the feelings she had for Tunde and the guilt she could not shake off her conscience.

She knew the unending long hours soaking in the water could not wash of the smell or the taste of Richard, which seemed to plague her until she felt sick with unease. The door of the bathroom opened and Tunde barged in with the usual look of irritation plastered on his handsome face.

“I have been calling your phone. Didn’t you hear?”

Priscilla turned her head to look at him conscious of her naked body thinly covered by the translucent water. She drew her legs up to her knees; if he seemed to notice, he made no sign. “I have been here for a while now and my phone’s in the room”

“So you sit here all day soaking away the hours?” he asked in mockery and she got out of the water standing naked before him and reaching for the towel.

Tunde stared at her. What game was she playing? Did she just enjoy teasing his patience? He could not talk about the company here in this place. Tunde walked out of the warm bathroom knowing she followed behind. “I came because I have something I need to discuss with you.”

“What about?” she replied wearing her nightie. He made the mistake of turning to look at her as she slid under the blanket. She caught him staring and his gaze riveted away. For Pete’s sake, he was behaving like a teenager! He turned off the light in reflex and the pale moonlight flooded into the room. Tunde walked near the bedpost.

“It’s about the company.”

Priscilla stared at her husband puzzled, they never discussed the company, “Is everything okay?”

Tunde gritted his teeth; did she know how she sounded in the dark? The way her eyes shown like crystals. Her voice was smooth as she spoke but he found himself paying no attention to what she said. Instead, he wondered what she would say if he took her in his arms. Maybe he could enjoy what she was offering him, the soft seduction and the way she had obviously tried to improve on herself. And he was responding, several times during the day he caught himself thinking of her; wondering what she was doing, trying to understand the game she was playing and the last time he had held her in his arms.

Was all this for the marriage or for her fear of a divorce; what she would stand to lose? He chose the latter, his mouth twisting in irony.

“Tunde, Tunde are you listening at all?” Priscilla stared at him curiously in the dark

Tunde sat close as Priscilla thought her heart would collapse; she knew what he wanted, they fed on that current for weeks.

“Tunde” her voice sounded like a desperate little plea as his hand lightly touched her arm, she could tell he waited to see her reaction but she did nothing just stared at him in the dark.

“What game are you playing?”

She could feel his warm breath upon her lips, and she pulled a bit closer lost in the anticipation, thinking of how she loved this man who was her husband, her heart was heavy with guilt.

“No game at all” Priscilla replied softly.

She thought he would pull back when he stared in to her eyes for a minute; her insides were melting in heightened hunger for her husband. The guilt was quickly forgotten, she could feel her body throb in response.

“Tunde” she said again ever so softly and this time, he knew he was lost. He brought his lips down to hers in urgency. Priscilla responded with a matching need as he gave himself to her.

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