Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:

D Yoruba Mother [Read it]


A Yoruba boy who was dating an
Igbo girl whose name was Njideka
asked her to lie to his mum when
he takes her home that her name
was Bisi.
He told her his mum had a phobia
for non-Yoruba people and would
never accept her once she knows
she is an Igbo girl. She did as he
instructed on sighting the
boyfriend’s mum.
"What is your name?" asked her
prospective mother-in-law,
She replied, "Bisi", but not without
her characteristic thick Igbo accent.
The boy’s tribalistic mum was so
happy that her son was getting
married to a Yoruba girl ignoring
the Igbo tone and she said: "What
a lovely name, your boyfriend’s elder
brother too is Adebisi, his Dad is
Olabisi and my best friend’s name
is Omobisi, which of the Bisi is
yours?"
Njideka who had not made any
plans for what she would say if such
a question came up got so confused
and replied "I am Ndubisi!"
The woman fainted!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-24 21:39:05

767 Views




CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one
end and a fool at the other.
MARRIAGE: It is an agreement where a man loses his bachelor
degree and a woman gains her master's degree.
DIVORCE: Future tense of Marriage.
LECTURE: An art of transmitting Information from the notes of
the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through
the minds of either of them.
CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the
number present.
COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he or she got the biggest piece.
DICTIONARY: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody
listens and everybody disagrees later on.
ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling
you have never felt before.
CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but never read.
SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home
life.
YAWN: The only time when some married men ever get to open
their mouth.
ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
actually do.
COMMITTEE: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit
to decide that nothing can be done together.
EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their Mistakes.
ATOMIC BOMB: An invention to bring an end to all inventions.
PHILOSOPHER: A fool who torments himself during life, to be
spoken of, when dead.
DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward to the trip.
OPPORTUNIST: A person who starts taking a bath if he
accidentally falls into a river.
OPTIMIST: A person who while falling from OLUMO ROCK says
midway, "SEE, I AM NOT INJURED YET".
PESSIMIST: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY.
MISER: A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH.
FATHER: A banker provided by nature.
CRIMINAL: A guy not different from the other, unless he gets
caught.
BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when
you are early.
POLITICIAN: Someone who shakes your hand before an election
and your CONFIDENCE after the election.
DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by
bills


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-10 02:16:55

229 Views




Sometimes I forget 2 say hi, sometimes I forget 2 reply, sometimes my msg doesn’t reach u, but it doesn’t mean I forget u. I’m just giving u time to Miss me.Related

EPISODE 33

Dr Hope had told Cynthia that it might not be such
a good idea but she insisted.
When the nurse showed her the ward, she delayed
some minutes at the door before going in.
She stood in front of the space staring at Mma. She
knew not what to say. Or maybe she struggled with how to say what she had to say.
Mma stared blankly back and then turned her face
away.
‘I’m so sorry, my little dear, I…I didn’t mean to–‘
Mma turned. ‘Killing me?’
Cynthia dropped to her knees. Mma’s eyes narrowed in surprise.
‘Please, standing up, ma,’ she said.
‘Forgive me, Mma.’
‘I forgiving you, please standing up.’
‘Oh thank you!’ Cynthia stood and rushed to her.
She bent over and hugged Mma tight. ‘Please releasing me small, I still feeling pains.’
‘Oh sorry!’ Cynthia obeyed quickly.
When she called Ngozi to bring in what they’d
come with, Mma stared at the colorful tins and
packs of provisions and concluded in her mind that
she was going to inform other patients in the nearby wards to come and be buying provisions
from her.
Cynthia has gone and Mma was deep in sleep
when Vanessa visited.

TO BE CONTINUED. Drop Your Comments Guys.

THE WAR HAS JUST STARTED.


>>

I didn’t make it to the gym today.

That makes five years in a row!Related

Punjab Ke Har Ghar Me Ek ‘Lucky’ Ya Ek ‘Happy’ Hota Hai..

Or South Ke Har Ghar Me Ek ‘Surya’Related

Be strong [Read it]


A prisoner escapes from his Pretoria prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it. He finds a young couple in bed. He gets the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair, ties up the woman to the bed and starts kissing her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.

While he is there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is a prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent a lot of time in prison, and has not seen a woman in years. I saw the way he kissed your neck. If he wants to go all the way, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he will kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he found you very sexy, and asked if we kept any vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-01 10:35:51

179 Views



Dear Dollar [Read it]


Dear Dollar,You slut…
Stop rising so much coz after 58 Government will retire you..Sincerely
Indian RupeeRelated

1. The anger of a joystick doesn't destroy
the vagina
(Zimbabwe).
2. There's no virgin in a maternity
ward
(Cameroon).
3. A child can play with it's mother's
bosoms but
not with the father's testicles (Guinea).
4. A man who marries a beautiful
woman and the
farmer who grows corns by the road
side have the
same problem (Ethiopia) .
5. When you see a woman sitting with
her legs
open, never u tell her to close dem,
b'cos u do not
know her source of fresh air (NIGERIA).
6. He who says that nothing lasts
forever has
never tried Hausa perfume.
7. If the alarm of a china phone
cannot wake you,
forget it, you are dead. [Lagos]
8. The only woman who knows where
her man is
every night is a widow. [Ghana]


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-28 07:41:13

395 Views




Ajeeb Yeh Aashique Hai;

Kabhi Shor Tang Karta Hai;

Aur Kabhi Sanata Satata Hai!Related

Sir,i hope there is no problem?” Sonia asked
with a smile.
David scratched his head as his eyes ravaged
her body.Her pyjamas were quite revealing.
He shook his head.”Its just that i can’t sleep”
Sonia already understood what was going
on.She needed no soothsayer to tell her that
her charms were at work. Hence,the way he was
acting gave her morale a boost.
A mischievous smile played on her lips as she
gave out a little yawn, covering her mouth.
“Should i come and keep you company? Hope
you don’t mind” Sonia asked almost in a
whisper.
David saw himself smile as he nodded in
approval.Sonia held his right hand with both
palms and off they went with smiles on their faces.
David got int o the bed and exhaled deeply
while Sonia stood there moping at him.
She remembered the very same way Paul was
moping at her from one corner of the room
when she woke up on his bed.She closed her
eyes as the memories flashed in.
She knew it wasn’t just company she was going
to keep David that very night.
She knew for sure
that something more than that must follow.
“Killing Paul is what i shouldn’t have done and
visiting him in the first place, a mistake i would
never forget” She thought.
“Come on.Don’t be scared” David urged her as
she climbed slowly into the bed,dropping her
phone in a comfortable position.
She was ready to accept whatever happens
after tonight.
She soon forgot about Ebere whom she knew
was listening.She knew the call would soon get
terminated when her airtime gets exhausted
and she wasn’t ready to pick her call, should she
call back because she carefully activated the
silent profile before dialing her line.
11:15pm
David’s phone rang.It was the second time the
phone was ringing but he was too busy to
answer it. He was busy with Sonia as they
moaned in pleasure on the soft foam.They were
far away on another planet. On another world of
bliss, pleasure and happiness.
When Angela dialed his phone the third time
and he didn’t answer.She smiled and
murmured some prayer for him and blew a kiss
into the phone. “Sleep well,darling”

>>

Kanjoos(Miser) lawyer working in UK wrote to his wife in India .Dear Sunita Darling,I can’t send you my salary this month because the global market crisis has affected my Company’s performance, so I am sending 100 kisses.You are my sweetheart, please understand and adjust with this situation.Your loving husband,TunaHis wife replied..TINKU KE PAPPA,
Thanks for the 100 kisses.Below is the list of expenses I paid with the Kisses…1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s milk.2. The electricity man, Kooldip Singh, agreed not to disconnect only after 7 kisses.3. Your landlord Kapal Singh comes every day to take 2 or 3 kisses instead of the monthly rent.4. Supermarket owner Jaswant Singh did not accept kisses only, so I gave him other items, I hope you understand.5. Miscellaneous expenses 40 kisses.Please don’t worry about me, I still have a balance of 35 kisses andI hope I can survive the month using this balance.Shall I plan the same for the next month?Your Sweet Heart,SunitaRelated

A pastor was preaching about death to his congregation.He said, “One day, every member of this church is going to die!” Akpos, who sat in the front row laughed at the excessively at the pastor.


The pastor repeated it. “I said, one day, every member of this church is going to die!” Again the boy laughed out loud.


The irritated pastor asked Akpos, “Son, what’s so funny about that?” The boy said, “I’m not a member of this church!”


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-18 09:35:23

667 Views




Yaaron Khud Ka Dil Na Dukhana;

Kabhi Bhi Aazmayish Ko Had Se Na Guzarna;

Dosti Ki Bhi Majbooriyan Hoti Hain,Insaan Ki Bhi;

Ise Samajhna Bhoole Se Bhi Ghalat Na Hume Thehrana!Related

Joy: Desmond;do you have anything to do?
Desmond: no
Joy: can you follow me to the stream
Desmond: what you want to do at the stream?
Joy: i just want yo wash my clothes
Desmond: what happen to Time?
Joy: she have other things to do
Desmond: alright;i will come with you
Joy: thank you
Desmond: is nothing(at the stream)now go on and wash your clothes
Joy: (she wash)hey!what are you doing?(he took off his shirt)
Desmond: i want to wash my body
Joy: alright(she stared at him)
Desmond: why are you looking me?
Joy: nothing
Desmond: then go ahead so that we can leave on time
Joy: no problem;i will just was fast(enter Tom)oh my God!he is so fine
Tom: you like him right
Joy: will you lower your voice?
Tom: fine;sorry;anyway he is really fine;i wish i have a sister,i would had given her to him
Joy: you are not okay,Desmond;come on;lets go. am done
Desmond: alright;i am coming(he walked towards them) young man;where are your guards?
Tom: i left them at home
Desmond: oh!i really want to apologies to you;i really don't mean to hurt you. is just that i am try to protect my sister
Tom: i know;sorry too
Desmond: is alright;thanks for your understanding. you are free to be friends with her but don't you dare hurt her because if you do;you will answer to me
Tom: i wouldn't
Desmond: alright;JOY shall we?
Joy: of cause
Desmond: bye
Tom: sorry;what is your name?
Desmond: Desmond
Tom: thanks;so we can be friends too?
Desmond: no problem;we go ahead
Tom: bye

Time: welcome
Christian: thank you;where is my sister and Desmond?
Time: they went to the stream
Christian: with my sister?
Time: anything wrong?
Christian: do you think my sister is in love with him?
Time: i don't think so
Christian: if you say so;go get me food and water and i also have something for you
Time: alright sir(Desmond sit alone crying)why are you crying?
Desmond: nothing;i am not crying
Time: why are you lying that you are not crying?
Desmond: i am not;i just need a quiet time alone
Time: that means you need me(he laughed)you see?i made you laugh
Desmond: thank you
Time: so why were you crying?
Desmond: i just want to g home and bring Stephanie back in good health
Time: don't worry;you two will go someday
Desmond: i just wish so
Time: is okay
Desmond: thank you(he hugged her)are you back?
Stephanie: yes;i am back,hey why are you hugging my brother
Time: i didn't do it on purpose
Stephanie: is okay;i kind of like you for my brother
Time: what?
Stephanie: don't worry;my brother i a nice person;cool and he is the best brother every sister will have and also the most lovely and cutie husband any girl will want to have
Desmond: will you stop?
Stephanie: alright;i concur
Desmond: better
Time: excuse me
Stephanie: alright
Desmond: what is going on,on that head of yours?
Stephanie: nothing;i just want you to be happy
Desmond: did i tell you that i am not happy?
Stephanie: you don't need to tell me;all your life;you care for others;you proven that;you are a good friend. you gave me all the boy and care i needed,it will be unfair if after all that you have done for me,i couldn't make you happy even if it was just an hour
Desmond: don't be ridiculous. you always make me happy,being with you and no one to tell that our closeness is too much,i shouldn't talk to you;no one to tell that,why are you hugging her? no one to tell;stay away from her and no one to threaten your life. that alone makes me happy
Stephanie: you funny(she sit on his leg)isn't it funny?in a real sense;we weren't related but we seems to share bond like we are really family
Desmond: of cause;even if it was just for a little time;i really wish it will last forever but i am fine with just this little time
Stephanie: and one thing;i will never forget when we get out of here;is the fact that;you treated me like a true sister and you gave me the opportunity to know what it feels like to have a brother,nit just a brother but a good looking brother(she pull his hand around her neck) i really love you
Desmond: i love you too(enter Christian/Joy/Time)where are you up to?
Christian: we are going out;will you like to cone with us?
Desmond: i don't think so
Stephanie: don't worry;he will go with you all
Desmond: what is your problem?i said i am not going. should i leave you all by yourself at home?no way
Stephanie: don't be ridiculous;i am not a baby;i can take care of myself. go on;go have some fun
Joy: come on;don't worry;she will be fine
Desmond: okay but take care of yourself
Stephanie: yes boss;Time;take care of my brother
Time: i will


Desmond: why are they so many boys and girls?
Christian: that is how we party when it is close to our festival
Desmond: whoa!it is lovely
Christian: come have some local drink
Desmond: but i don't drink
Joy: don't be a spoil brat. come on(she hand him a cup of palm wine)go on and drink(he drunk and she kept adding more)be a man
Time: are you planning of making him drunk?
Joy: if yes;how is it your business
Desmond: go on girl;get me more ;it taste so sweet
Tom: hey young woman;can't you see;he has a lot
Joy: how is it your business
Time: this thing you are doing is bad
Joy: keep quiet
Tom: will you stop?lets take him home
Christian: who will play the drum?
Tom: i will play it
Christian: are you sure my prince?
Tom: yes;but there is no song
Desmond: i will sing for you
Tom: alright
Joy: i am out of here(he sing and he dance)
Villagers: he has a sweet voice but he is a drunk
Time: thank you all;he is done singing(she drag him out)
Desmond: will you stop?i am not your baby
Time: i know but please lets go home. you have a lot to drink
Desmond: leave me alone;i still want more
Time: your sister will be mad at me
Desmond: my sister?who is my sister? Time: you are so drunk that you don't even remember your sister Stephanie
Desmond: she is not my sister;she is my friend
Time: your friend?
Desmond: yes my friend
Time: do you love her?tell me the truth
Desmond: don't be ridiculous;how can i be in love with my sister
Time: tell me the truth;you just said she is your friend not your sister
Desmond: fine you won;she is my crush and i love her very much(he throw up and they walk home)
Stephanie: what happen to him?i told you to take good care of him
Time: i try as much as possible but i just can't help him
Stephanie: and you what is going on;on this head of yours?you know i hate it when you get drunk
Desmond: will you stop acting like you are my big sister
Stephanie: do you really think,if i am older than you;i will not hit you on your head?
Desmond: are you crazy?
Stephanie: i am not;lets go inside. thank you Time;i will take him inside
Time: i know something is wrong but i just hope what i am thinking is not true


Janet: Jude;what are you doing here?(enter Johnson/James) what are you all doing here?
James: mother;you came and you don't expect us to visit you?
Johnson: don't mind her
Blessing: welcome uncle
Johnson: thank you my daughter
Jackson: it has being ages since my brothers visited me. i which my son didn't get missing;they wont had remember me
James: don't be annoying,you know we love you
Jackson: i know;dad you don't look well and you doctor did you see your dad?
James: he was under drugs before mother came to Nigeria but father stop taking his medication
Johnson: so mummy;you know that daddy was under medication;,why didn't you tell us?
Janet: it wasn't necessary
Jude: i am not a baby that have to be taken care of
Rose: but father you are our responsibility;so we need all the love and care you can get from us
Jude: i know
Jackson: now that the entire family is complete;i think we should celebrate;Beauty;Faith;where are those two(enter both) thank goodness;where are they?
Faith: you called sir

Jackson: you have to prepare some thing special
Faith: okay sir
Jackson: and you Blessing;go bring wine from the bar
Blessing: alright dad;i will
Jude: my children life is not as easy as you think
James: dad;you are talking in riddles
Jude: life doesn't give us all that we want
Johnson: father;this one you are talking this way;you are getting us worried
Janet: if you know you came here to destabilize everyone;just leave
Jude: i know i haven't been a food husband to you;i have really hurt you even more
Jackson: dad;is all in the pass
Jude: i know;i haven't really been a good father to you all. Jackson;forgive me;my son
Johnson: dad you are keeping us in suspense
Jude: for forty years;i have hold on to this fact;i have keep it as a secret;i wish I could love you Janet wholeheartedly. i really do love you but i was scare that you will get hurt
Janet: how am i going to get hurt?
Jude: i was waiting for the right time to tell you and i think now is the right time. it is difficult to say and i really don't know where to start
James: daddy;just start from anywhere
Jude: you are right son;when i got married to your mother;i notice that,i was always feeling weak and my heart keep beating fast and whenever i get so stress,i felt like i was going to drop dead and i am always tired but i ignore it;i felt it was just change of hormones system but it is all a lie when it continue getting worse,i decided to have my first check up
Johnson: and what was the result
Jude: the doctor confirm I have heart problem

Jackson: father
Janet: tell me it is not true
Jude: i know;it will break you but it is the truth. i wish it wasn't true but it is the fact
James: after then;what did you do?
Jude: i carry out my first operation but it was the beginning of my ...
Johnson: go on dad
Jude: of my predicament,the doctor gave me an advice on how to manage my life;i strict to it but life is not easy at all;it occur again and again and again and have to carry out therapy again and again and again

Janet: why didn't you tell me?but all those time i call you;your secretary is always picking up your calls
Jude: yes;she was always with me. i never wanted to talk to you but i was not dating her
James: but father after then;what happen
Jude: the doctor said i have just six months to live then the six months;this six months i try to make it up to you my kids and i try as much as possible to push your mother away;she she wouldn't feel it when i am gone;so that you wouldn't get mad at me for making you a widow at just twenty five
Janet: you would had told me?i would had still love you
Jude: i know you love me but i just couldn't bring myself to hurt you
James: but the six months came and gone but you still alive
Jude: yes;it came and passed but the doctor made my life miserable

Jackson: how?
Jude: he said i could die anytime;in a few minutes;hour;two;three;days;a day,i don't know but it will happen anytime
Johnson: i am sorry dad(tears roll his eyes)
Jackson: but dad yo hurt me deeply;you force me into getting married to Rose when you know i don't love her
Jude: yes;i did all that in order to hide my sin

Janet: what do you mean?
Jude: when the doctor told me so;i took into drinking and one faithful day i was so drunk that i barely know what i was doing and slept with my secretary and she became pregnant
Janet: what?you cheated on me?








NAIRAJOKES.COM




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REAL MEN [Read it]


Real men don't play Temple Run.
They go to the zoo,open a lion's cage,slap the
lion and start running¤¤¤


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-24 15:08:02

321 Views



the exam [Read it]


During the exam, Akpors kept looking under the table, then he would write on the answer sheet. His teacher saw him doing that & thought he was copying. When collecting the paper after the exam..
Teacher: I’m gonna minus 10 marks.
Akpors: Hiiaaa!! Why sir?
Teacher: For copying.
Akpors: How do you know that I was copying?
Teacher: I saw you looking under the table.
Akpors: *laughing* Question 9 said, “STUDY THE TABLE BELOW “.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-15 00:55:02

244 Views




AYOMIDE...EPISODE 11
By Haryhomidey Enitan Komadan

I was just speechless...
"Or do you think we can date??..she
Continues to quetion me...
I was still speechless though,my mind come comes to conclusion that me and this girl are not destined to date from heaven...na God
Say make I no dey too forward...hmm
Truthfully I was really heartbroken
hearing that from her but she later
cools down my mind by telling me she
is joking...come see how she dey laugh
uncontrollably...
"look at my A.Y o,so you really
fall for my joke??,hahahaha,my
sweetheart just cool down okay??.."
She said...
Na so all my fear reduce a bit,I was
like what's happening here??...what
did she mean by she is joking??,haven't
She knows about what am keeping
from her?...abi na me dey think rubbish??..
different thoughts is just running through
my mind,I pray make this girl no give me
High blood pressure o...
"So what do you mean by we can't date??,and what do you mean by you are older than me?..I finally summon up some courage and ask her...
"I was only joking now,don't take
any of those words serious,..and wait o
I notice am still a year older than you o
Lol...don't mind me...that has nothing
To do with our relationship anyway..."She replied
LOL..this girl still never caught me sha...
Na so my mind come be at peace,na that rubbish
Age wey I tell her she still believe,anyway I think
dis girl don dey fall o,or she already fall
In love with me??...I will be very happy if this
Girl loves me as planned is what is running
Through my mind presently...
"So francisca tell me what my real
answer is,you are really putting me
into an endless suspense..I can't wait
any longer"..I finally split it out...
"Okay dear,I think the suspense has to
Stop anyway,I am very sorry if my behaviour
today have hurt you..I just want to tell you
that I agree to be your girlfriend in as much
You still love me,I will forever loves and cares
for you"..was her answer...
Yes!!!...this is what I have been waiting for...
She finally says it all,that was how I and francisca started dating,Francisca is really very very responsible,she is far better than Dolapo...
I was so lucky to have someone like her,but our
relationship is not that smooth because of
my damn plans,but jah takes control of everything at last sha...
After hearing Francisca's answer I come
Dey form like say I am really very happy
to hear her answer,but the truth is that
my inner part is very happy but the physical
part of me is full of deceit
"Ohh I really appreciate your answer
Francisca,you won't regret giving in to me,
Thank you so much,I will love you forever..."I said out of deceit...
I was just so happy throughout that day,so
I will finally have my way to execute what I
Plan for this girl??..hmm...

>>

In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men.


Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, “Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous…or what?”


“Not at all, Ma’am,” the manager replied. “It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don’t pout when I yell at them.Related

Oga came back a week later and met a very quiet
house.
The children were sleeping so everywhere was
silent like a graveyard.
Madam was in the master bedroom so I
couldn’t tell whether she was awake or
sleeping.
It was the sound of the engine of Oga’s car that
roused me from where I was sitting in the kitchen
and towards the window to peep.
Oga blared the horn three times in his
characteristic manner and I went out to answer
him like normal and help him carry his luggage
into the house.
The sound of the horn seemed to have roused
madam as well and she came out and stood at
the door to welcome her husband.
“Honey welcome,” madam said to him which was
quite unusual.
The husband was startled.
“Thanks my darling,” he replied and crossed his
right hand over madam’s shoulder.
Madam tactically masked her bitterness and
resentment.
I trembled slightly as I stood inside the kitchen
awaiting the outburst that would emanate when
madam finally bursts the bubble before him.
I couldn’t predict what the aftermath was going
to be.
Whether I was going to be sent packing or not.
Oga’s right hand lay across madam’s shoulder as
they went in together into the master bedroom.
Oga had his bath and soon came out to have his
meal. Madam came out too trailing behind.
It seemed madam was having a hard time
deciding the best time to bring up the issue. She
had remained very diplomatic so far to the best
of her ability.
Oga ate quietly and hungrily while madam
intermittently asked him about the conference.
“Everything went fine,” he replied gulping down a
thick bolus of eba covered with ogbono soup.
“Even the Governor of the state attended too,” he
added.
Madam kept silent and listened to the gist of the
conference.
When Oga finished eating, he and madam went
back to the master bedroom.
I washed the plates and then settled to eat my
own meal. Afterwards I went to my small room.
Night soon came and everyone went to bed.
In the middle of the night I heard madam’s voice
waking Oga up from sleep.
“Yes?” Oga replied with a drowsy voice.
“We need to talk,” madam began firmly.
“About what?” Oga asked sounding irritated over
the disturbance of his sleep.
“What is it between you and our house-help?”
Madam asked driving sleep away from Oga’s
eyes.
“Which house-help?” Oga asked.
“Your house-help,” madam replied.
“You mean Adaeze?” Oga asked.
“Do you have another one?” Madam retorted.
“And how on earth did you think that
something was going on between me and that
rag?” Oga asked.
Oga’s rhetoric struck me like a hammer.
I couldn’t believe my ears but then I had no
choice than to control my emotion.
Oga and Madam continued the argument all night
long onto daybreak till I stopped hearing their
voice.
Then I wondered what the future had in stock for
me…


Drop your comments below








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Memory problem [Read it]


Patient: Doc I keep on forgetting things.
Doctor: Since when did you have these problems?
Patient: What problems?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-11 16:28:51

449 Views




I was tired about the number of calls I was getting, even Yewande called me to offer her condolences. I was waiting for Timi’s call before I switched off my phone. There was a packet of cornflakes in the kitchen, I made some for Toun but she didn’t touch her plate, I could tell she was weak because she kept sleeping and waking up.
Finally Timi called.
Me : what did they decide?
Timi : school has been shut down till further notice, they brought in the police to seal of the campuses.
Me: When are you coming around?
Timi: very soon…should I get you guys anything?
Me: Please get valium for Toun..
Timi : The deputy vice-chancellor is missing, does Jafar know anything about it?
Me : How would I know?
Timi : The police will start raids soon, that place might not be safe for you..
Arrest was the least of my problems now..
Jafar came into the house some minutes after 4pm; he had dark shades on, so also the guys that came in with him. Toun was sleeping in the room, I didn’t want to disturb her so I had stepped into the Living room where there were a couple of magazines I flipped through.
Jafar : Tana whats up?
Me : I am good..i want to talk to you
Jafar looked at me, trying to decipher what I wanted to talk to him about..
Jafar : give me some minutes, you can wait for me in front of my room..
I did as I was told..
They were talking in hush tones, preventing me from hearing what they were saying.
Jafar : how is Toun?
Me: she is sleeping..
He opened his door and ushered me in. I remembered the last time I was in his apartment, when my life was still normal…I sat on the only available chair..
Me : where is the DVC?
I wasn’t in the mood to beat around the bush..
Jafar : I don’t know
Me : are you lying to me? Cause I heard the police will start their raid soon
Jafar : I am not lying to you…
Me: what will we do about the raid?
Jafar : have you eaten?
Me: yes I have
Jafar : Toun?
Me: she isn’t in the mood..
Jafar : what’s her favorite food?
Me : Jafar, what will we do about the raid?
Jafar : just tell me her favorite food
Me : meat…she likes fried turkey meat…
He made a call as he pulled his shirt; he was left with his singlet and slacks.
Jafar : You shouldn’t be worried about the raid, we would have it sorted out..
Me : what of Eli, where is he?
Jafar : He is in Ijebu-Igbo, moves around with twenty guys, fully equipped.
Me : he is after your neck too?
Jafar : Yes, it’s a matter of time before the real storm arises..
Me: I heard the elections have been cancelled and school shut down?
Jafar : yap, students are leaving towns in droves..
Me : you were at the park?
Jafar : times like this, each group places informants at the parks in Ijebu-igbo and Ago-iwoye. Any body seen trying to leave town will be brought down, your group or theirs.
Me: why?
Jafar : For a member of one’s group to try to skip town, its cowardice. For the other group, it’s the easiest target.
Me : what of those that would want to leave town with private cars?
Jafar : There are only two routes into Ago and Igbo, through Ode or Ilesan….
Me : oh…
Jafar : Toun will eat soon, I hope you know where her folks reside?
Me : Yes..
Jafar: because she is leaving town tonight…
Me: how?
Jafar: ‘Last-Born’ will take her, he is the guy you spoke to this morning..you would be going too…
Me : I don’t want to go yet, I owe it to Abayomi…but Toun is unstable…so I think it’s a good idea…but you said any confra guy leaving town will be felled?
Jafar : Last-Born is a smuggler, when would you go?
Me : when you take care of Eli..
Jafar : it’s going to get really bloody, miss. Reports have it that the government is releasing weapons to Eli’s people..
Me : I am stubborn o…just so you know..
Jafar : oh….that I know…
]Jafar left shortly, leaving me with Toun and the strangers in the house. Luckily, Timi came around. He wasn’t allowed inside the apartment, I had to meet him outside. After dropping off the bags he brought, we sat in his car.
Timi: its crazy out there mehn, the garage is filled with students, transport fare to Lagos is now 700 bucks
Me: so I heard
Timi: They are killing themselves anyhow, it has never been this bad.
My heart started beating again, I had lost Abayomi, I didn’t want to lose Jafar.
Timi: You have to leave this place soon..
Me: I can’t, I can’t just leave town..
Timi : I am not saying you should leave like that, but staying here aint the best right now.
Me: you think so yh?
Timi: I have some friend in TASUED, they can take care of you…
Me: Jafar will be taking Toun to Lagos tonight.
Timi: driving her down himself?
Me : Nope, a friend of his would be taking her.
Timi : are you sure it’s safe? Do you know the guy?
Me : barely, but I trust Jafar..
Timi smiled…
Timi: I know you do..i miss you dear..
Me: I keep thinking of Abayomi..
Timi: I do too..please say me well to Toun.
After a few more bants, he left. I kept thinking of what Timi said about my leaving the house and it made sense. But my guts kept telling me to stay. When I got back in, Toun was eating the turkey Jafarhad gotten for her, she hugged me when I approached her.
Toun: sorry, I know it has been had on you too
Me: its okay, you are very strong. Just be strong for us..please..
Toun: I will try?
Me: Jafar and I feel it’s better you go to Lagos tonight. At least till it cools off..
Toun: what of you?
Me: I will wait behind, till Eli is sorted out.
Toun: are you sure?
Me: yes dear..Timi brought our stuffs, so I will help you pack, just eat and rest..
Toun: you are a darling my dear.
Me: I love you.
Toun: why is Jafar?
Me: he went out but he has arranged for your transportation.
Toun: so gist me, what is the latest?
Me: National is dead, Dvc is missing..Timi said a couple of other deaths..
Toun: hmmmm, I am only concerned about Eli..
Me : me too..
I was glad Toun was sounding alright, I didn’t need to give her the valium anymore. She went into the bathroom to take her bath, Toun likes crying in the bathroom, so I eavesdropped to make sure she didn’t break down in there. Just as I suspected, she started crying again.
Around 8pm, Last-Born came to knock on the door, he informed Toun it was time for the trip to Lagos.
Toun: Thank Jafar for me, and promise me you will come to my house when this is all over?
Me: promise, my love.
We hugged again, then she left in a blue Primera.
I realised what Timi had been telling me was the best thing to do. I couldn’t just shack up here with this guys, so I packed my things and planned to tell Jafar that I would have to leave his apartment and remain incognito till he all these sorted out. Since most students had left, the Town sounded a tad quieter. So when the volks-wagon with loud speakers on it that advertised local herbs around Ago-iwoye was passing by, it was pretty loud…when it came closer, I realized I was wrong. My heart started beating fast, it wasn’t a volks-wagon, and the speakers were blaring something I was very familiar with…
“TANA…..TOLO…..TANA….TOLO….TANA….TOLO”
I locked the door in the room, I could hear the guys in the living room but that gave me little solace. I picked up my phone to call Jafar, but he didn’t pick up…I called Timi..
Timi: whatsup…?
Me: I am fine..i think Eli is in Ago..around the house
Timi: How did you know that?
Me: I just know!…i am scared..
Timi: I am in Ijebu-Ode now, I will come to town very soon..
Me : thanks, hurry!..
I could still hear the sound, I hoped I was getting crazy. My phone rang, it was Jafar.
Jafar: sorry, I missed your call..
I explained everything to him, he told me the lock myself in and not open the door for anyone except I hear his voice or Uche’s.
After he hung up, I dashed to the kitchen and picked up the sharpest knife I saw, I went back to the room and locked myself in.
When I heard someone knocking my door, 20 minutes later, and my heart was almost in my mouth. Then I heard his voice, telling me he was the one.
As soon as I saw him, I jumped at him, he was quick to carry me and regain his balance or we would have fallen, I caught a whiff of brandy under his breathe.
Jafar : I brought supper, fish and wine…would you like to eat with me in my room?
Me: yes..
He carried me inside his room, I was a frown woman and all, but I didnt mind being carried. Not even with the other guys staring at me.
He laid me down on his centre rug and lay down beside me, we were both facing his ceiling with our backs to the ground.
Jafar : if you are scared, you can sleep in my room tonight, are you scared?
Me: will you be sleeping here too?
Jafar: yes..
Me: I am scared..
To be continued


>>

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.Related

Which ones do you enjoy most here?

1. Posting Jokes
2. Posting Stories
3. Reading Jokes
4. Reading Stories
5. Reading comments
6. Chatting

Make sure u ans, it will help us serve u better. Thank u


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-13 19:08:36

547 Views



Virgins [Read it]


Na him pastor talk say make all d Virgins way dey Church Come Out See Watin Happen!!!







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-17 15:59:07

1182 Views




His anger has ma him to spit out his secret. His
mother was struck with shock.
That was the moment Kuu realized that he had
said
too much. “Kuu, what are you saying? I don’t
understand youâ€
Mrs Amposah asked.
“Mum, i can explain but one thing I am sure
about
is that the guy Mansa is with, is an intruder. Iâ €™m the
father of that child. †Kuu confirmed.
“Kuu, how could you? Do you realize the
abomination you have committed? This can’t
be
right, this must be a dream†Mrs Amposah was acting strange.
As much as Kuu impregnating Mansa came as a
surprise to her, her actions seemed that there was
something more to it.
“Kuu, get out of my room, you make me sick!
Get out! get out!†Mrs Amposah shouted at Kuu.
He had no option than to leave the room.
Mrs Amposah was out of control, this was too
much for her to bare.
“No, i can’t deal with this. It can’t
happen. I need to act fast, that baby can’t be born. It won’t
happenâ€
Mrs Amposah said to herself.
Right after, she picked the phone and called Riri
to
come to her place immediately. Aside Riri being an usher, she happened to be a
part time nurse at the exact hospital Elvis passed
away.
Her involvement with Mrs Amposah was very
suspicious.
On the day Riri met Kuu and Mansa at the hospital,
she had already finished her shift and had
changed
into a casual dress.
Chris on the other hand was aware that Kuu had
arrived and was looking for Mansa. He was determined to find Mansa before Kuu
does.
Now there was a programme at church that
evening that everyone knew Obed will be present
.
He was the main organist so he had no option. As to whether he will come with Mansa or not, no
body knew.
Mrs Amposah and Riri had met to figure out what
to do if only Obed and Mansa came to Church that
evening.
Kuu usually was not a fun of going to church in the
evenings but on that day, he was also determined
to be there just to see Mansa.
Chris was also getting ready two hours before the
programme when he was told by the house boy
that Asabea, his pregnant girlfriend was looking for him.
He had forgotten about Asabea all this while. He
only had his mind on Mansa.
He went to the living room to meet her. You can
imagine the look on her face when she saw Chris.
“Mansa, i told you not come here. Chris said, mistakenly calling Asabea Mansa.
This got Asabea very irritated.
“What? You call me Mansa now? Oh i see, i see
you
have something going on with her. I came here
the other time to meet her comfortable on your laps
and now you calling me by her name†Asabea
uttered.
“Look, how many times do i have to tell you
that
she is my sister†Chris tried explaining “Sister indeed, we all know she was adopted
so
don’t tell me that†She said.
“whatever†Chris said.
“You think you can get me pregnant and get
me sick and go away scot free, you must be joking.
And for your information, i aborted the pregnancy
just as you wanted.
You have succeeded in getting rid of the baby but
for you getting me sick, get ready for meâ€
Asabea said.
Chris knew what she was capable of doing. That
was not her first time. He has known Asabea to be
very possessive and capable of doing anything.
†And that Mansa of yours tell her to beware of
me. You have no idea of what a woman who is
scorned
can do. †Asabea said and walked out of Chris.
Chris was frightened by her words but however,
he
ignored it. He quickly dressed up right after Asabea had left.
Without waiting for his Mum or Kuu, he went
straight to church.
Mrs Amposah and Kuu followed shortly
afterwards.
You could feel the tension in the car when Kuu was
driving his mother to the church.
The car was filled with silence as they were not
talking to each other as they went. It was obvious
that each of them had their own intention for
going to Church.
In no time they got to church and saw that Chris
had already gotten there.
Obed and Mansa were no where to be found. They
had not arrived yet.
They got seated and soon the programme started. Chris was seated three rows behind Kuu and Mrs
Amposah.
The programme line up was shared for the
members including the Amposah family.
To Kuu’s surprise, Mansa was the one the to
lead the prayers as indicated on the programme line
up.
As soon as the praises and worship was over, the
church was completely silent as Obed and Mansa
arrived.
Kuu and Mansa’s eye met. She was looking different that evening.
Mansa was looking extremely beautiful. Everyone
couldn’t believe the changes Mansa had under
gone.
The long dress she wore fit her perfectly. Her dark
skin was bright as her ponytail showed how beautiful her neck was.
Everyone was amazed with her beauty and
elegance, especially Kuu.
Obed had to leave her and go to where the organ
was and other instrument were. Riri the usher
directed Mansa to a seat. She had to sit on a plastic chair cause all the pews
were occupied.
It was time for an input, and the minister began
delivering.
All of a sudden, the programme got interrupted
with a noise from the back. It came from Mansa, the plastic chair in which she
sat on had gotten broken, making her fall heavily
on her back.
Few of the church members rushed to help her.
Obed quickly left the organ and went to her aid,
only to find that Mansa was seriously bleeding with
blood flowing from the thighs to the legs.
The story has just began.

>>

Teenage Love. [Read it]


**PART ONE**
CHAPTER 1…….
It was a bright saturday morning
on the 7th of september 2013.
Akinola oluwasegun was walking
along a popular street in Ibadan,
Oyo state. He was dressed in a
white T-shirt and a black pant
trouser and a black vickers shoe.
He was on his way to Loyola
College, a government owned
secondary school around Agodi
gate GRA Ibadan for his WAEC GCE
exam.
He entered into the school
compound and walked towards
the school building. Being his
first paper English Language, he
had no idea of where the
examination hall was situated.
So, he had to ask for help from
other candidates who had come
the previous days for chemistry
practicals and Commerce. He
walked up to a girl seated on the
staircase reading to ask for the
help.
“Hello, good morning.” he
greeted.
“Good morning.” she replied.
“Please, are you here for exam?”
he asked.
“Yeah.” she replied.
“Okay. Please, which way is the
examination hall.” He asked.
“I don’t know. This is my first
time here.” She answered.
(disappointed) “Okay, lets ask
others the way to the exam hall.”
He adviced.
“Okay.” She replied standing up
and dusting her skirt.
*TEN MINUTES LATER*
The invigillator walked into the
exam hall carrying a green sack
with the inscription; WEST
AFRICAN EXAMINATION COUNCIL.
No 62. He was accompanied by
five teachers of the school.
A laptop was removed and with
a thumb printing device attached
to it.
“Line up for your biometrics.”
one of the teachers barked.
After the completion of the
biometrics. The candidates were
asked to sit down according to
their numbers. The answer
booklets and the question
papers were first distributed
before the attendance was
marked. The paper lasted two
and a half hours. The paper
ended by 11:30am and they
were given 3hours break before
the commencement of the paper
2&3(objectives & the Test of
Orals respectively).
Outside the examination hall,
students were seen in group,
some in fours, in fives and so on
discussing and arguing over the
just concluded paper.
Oluwasegun(segun for short)
wast sitting alone under a big
three near the school football
pitch. He was flipping through
the pages of the WAEC English
language past question. Just then
someone tapped him from
behind. He looked up and saw
his cousin Omolayo Akinola.
He stood up and hugged her.
“What are you doing here?” he
asked.
“I came to greet my friends
writing their exam here. She
answered.
“Where is your centre?”
“Ikolaba grammar school.”she
replied.
“Most of my friends are in that
centre.”he said.
“Are you the only one here?” she
asked.
“Yes, am the only one here from
my school.”he answered.
“You must be feeling lonely
o.”she said.
“Yeah”………
The gisted for like ten minutes
before Omolayo stood up to go,
“Let me introduce you to my
friends over there.” she said
pointing to a group of 2 boys
and 4 girls gisting.
He stood up and followed her
towards the group. Immediately
they saw them approach they
stopped talking.
“Where have you been? One of
her friends jummy asked
Omolayo suspiciously.
Ignoring her question. “Meet my
cousin, Segun. Segun meet my
friends.” she introduced.
“Hi guys.” he greeted.
“Hi.” They chorused.
They all hung around till it was
1:30pm, 30minutes before the
next paper.
“Bro, i think we should get going
so, we won’t be late.” Omolayo
said.
“Alright, bye. Segun answered.
Omolayo left with four of her
friends remaining two who were
also in segun’s centre. Among
which was Jummy.
–to be continued–


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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CAMPUS BABE
Episode 2

The moment they saw femi at our
table,my
course mates began to adjust their
table,one of them even took off
the head
phone he was putting on,probably
to hear
the action. I could feel the
scrutiny of 5
pairs eyes at me,I was fully
clothed but I felt as Unclad as I
was born. They all
looked away when I turned
towards
them,those devils! I said to myself
why
did this have to happen here and
now?
This was a really awkward
moment, Femi
was normally a gentleman but
with a bad temper when annoyed.
Unlike him,he
didn’t even accept the handshake
which
chuks extended his hands for,
when I saw
this I felt like running away from
the
table, I started wondering what to
do,should I just put on an angry
look on face and walk away?
should I ask chuks to
excuse us?that would be so unfair
I
thought, My thoughts were
interrupted by
Femi’s voice “so what are you
doing here
he asked” I was so scared of him
because
I know he could create a wild
scene so I calmly said “nothing,I
just came to eat
something after my practical
session”. He looked at the two
empty cans of sprite
and then replied,really with a
sarcastic
look, he then asked”how long
have you
been here?” I decided to lie,and
said not
long just 30mins, Chuks glanced
at me
and threw his face . When I said
this Femi was filled with rage and
he said “so
you’ve started lying right? I’ve
been
watching you for over 2hrs sitting
here
with this guy laughing stupidly” I
could
feel my body go tensed and
sweaty…
Femi’s eyes were filled with
fury,so you kept me waiting for
hours because of
another guy,I was already filled
with
fear,I managed to stutter I’mmm
sorry,I
could feel the tears that were
about to
drop form my eyes,I was fighting
to hold
them back , Chuks noticed this
and could not stand it so he
decided to defend me.
she told me she had a date,I
pleaded with
her to stay with me just a little
longer,its
not really her fault, Chuks told
femi. Femi
totally ignored him,he didn’t even
act as if
anybody just talked. Out of anger
Femi yelled “you are a big fool,so
its because of
this idiot you stood me up…after
everything we’ve been through I
dnt
blame you at all” Chuks couldn’t
take it any longer,he yelled
back at him “what’s up with you?
how can
you talk to a lady like that?dnt
you have
manners,I dnt mind how you talk
to me
but you shouldn’t speak to her
like
that,afterall she’s apologised ,dnt
talk to her like again,at least not
in my
presence…
I just sat down pitying myself,
imagining
a lot of crazy things,what if they
got into
a fight?(Although its kinda cute
when
two guys fight over you,but not in
this
case),I knew that if such a thing
happened,my course mates would
not hesitate to record the
video,another
thought creeped in,what if Femi
slapped
me and beat me up I got really
scared
(because I know say I know
kukuma get
power)I was simply enveloped in
shame,my course mates were
probably enjoying this scene,I
silently wished I
could disappear at that moment.
My
emotional side got the better of
me. I
pleaded with femi to stop
embarrassing
me and to be considerate of the
fact that
my course mates were watching
us. He told me to shut up which I
quickly did. After a while,he took
a deep
breath,hissed at me and told me
to get
him something to eat,I was both
surprised
and relieved ,at least he wouldn’t
talk
much while eating. Meanwhile,
Chuks was
still angry and I also pleaded with
him to calm down,he gad no
choice but to do so…
finally! peace at last. Or so I
thought..
To Be Continued…


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Brenda [Read it]


A blind man went to a
restaurant.
“Menu sir?” Asked the owner.
“I’m blind. Just bring me one of
your dirty forks.. I will
smell it & order.”
The confused owner got a fork.
The blind man smelt the fork
with a deep breath.
“Yes, I will have the lamb with
seasoned potatoes and spring
vegetables
“Unbelievable! ” thought the
owner.
The blind man ate and left.
2 weeks later, the blind man
returned. The owner, wanting to
see how good his smell is,
quickly went to the kitchen
where his wife Brenda was
cooking.
He said, “Do me a favor and rub
this fork over your privates!!”,
which she does!
He then goes to the blind man
and gives him the fork.
The blind man takes it, puts it to
his nose and says “Oh
interesting..!! ! , I never knew
Brenda worked here!! :
Owner fainted..



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-19 10:19:14

419 Views




Two devils came into my dreams.

They said, “We want to disturb some good person”.

I suggest them your name.

They said, “We cannot disturb our boss!”

Good Night !!Related

Kanjoos(Miser) lawyer working in UK wrote to his wife in India .Dear Sunita Darling,I can’t send you my salary this month because the global market crisis has affected my Company’s performance, so I am sending 100 kisses.You are my sweetheart, please understand and adjust with this situation.Your loving husband,TunaHis wife replied..TINKU KE PAPPA,
Thanks for the 100 kisses.Below is the list of expenses I paid with the Kisses…1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s milk.2. The electricity man, Kooldip Singh, agreed not to disconnect only after 7 kisses.3. Your landlord Kapal Singh comes every day to take 2 or 3 kisses instead of the monthly rent.4. Supermarket owner Jaswant Singh did not accept kisses only, so I gave him other items, I hope you understand.5. Miscellaneous expenses 40 kisses.Please don’t worry about me, I still have a balance of 35 kisses andI hope I can survive the month using this balance.Shall I plan the same for the next month?Your Sweet Heart,SunitaRelated

Kanjoos(Miser) lawyer working in UK wrote to his wife in India .Dear Sunita Darling,I can’t send you my salary this month because the global market crisis has affected my Company’s performance, so I am sending 100 kisses.You are my sweetheart, please understand and adjust with this situation.Your loving husband,TunaHis wife replied..TINKU KE PAPPA,
Thanks for the 100 kisses.Below is the list of expenses I paid with the Kisses…1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s milk.2. The electricity man, Kooldip Singh, agreed not to disconnect only after 7 kisses.3. Your landlord Kapal Singh comes every day to take 2 or 3 kisses instead of the monthly rent.4. Supermarket owner Jaswant Singh did not accept kisses only, so I gave him other items, I hope you understand.5. Miscellaneous expenses 40 kisses.Please don’t worry about me, I still have a balance of 35 kisses andI hope I can survive the month using this balance.Shall I plan the same for the next month?Your Sweet Heart,SunitaRelated

May you always sleep like a baby.

Sweet Dreams! Sleep Tight! Good Night!Related

Teacher: Hey u, why are u
talking to each other when
the exam is on.
Akpors: The question clearly
tells us to DISCUSS and
elaborate….



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-15 18:51:45

473 Views




I and my recliner – we go way back, quiet obvious thoughRelated

adam Angela Ujunwa Ilonna is a peculiar woman.

Over the years, she’s seen more changes in her person and personality than anyone could ever boast of.

Many years ago, she was a gentle newly-married woman who’d rather agree than disagree.

A noise-hater, she called herself.

But then somewhere along the line, in the spate of certain unwanted events that befell her marriage, she changed.

Completely.

She turned from the noise-hater she used to be to a lover and craver of it.

And then, suddenly, after a few more years of screaming and nagging, she changed again.

But this time around, she didn’t just become quiet, she became distant.

Aloof.

Like one who nothing mattered to anymore.

She started to drink too and most often embarrassed herself, her husband and her little kids.

Till finally Prof sent her away.

***

Adaeze rapped the wooden door again.

No answer came still.

She raised her hand and knocked again.

No answer still.

She sighed.

She was turning to leave when she heard a creaking from inside.

She turned back and watched the door being pulled in.

The slim figure of her mother came into sight.

She exhaled, taking some small satisfaction from the fact that Angela looked somehow better than she had the last time she was here to see her.

It was only a slight difference though, because her hair was still a tousled mess, her lips dark and chapped and her eyes as hollowed ever, but however slight it is, Adaeze felt a tinge of joy from it.

‘Good evening, mum,’ she said.

Angela nodded.

She left the door open for her and she walked in.

The room was still an unsightly mess, clothes and empty cans and packets littered all over the place.

The air was strong with the smell of alcohol.

‘How do you do, mum?’ she asked, making no attempt to sit.

Her mother looked at her. ‘Push those clothes off the chair and sit if you’d like to,’ she said in her characteristic nonchalant tone of voice.

Adaeze took one step to the couch, pushed the heap of clothes on it slightly aside and sat.

Angela took the other seat across from her. ‘You said you would never come again,’ she said.

‘Yes,’ Adaeze said.

Angela nodded, and then compressed her lips into a thin line.

Adaeze stared at her.

‘So?’ Angela said again after a brief while has passed.

‘I’m not here to see you, mum,’ she said.

‘Ok.’

‘Yes.’

‘Why have you come then?’

‘I came for myself. I need some answers from you.’

‘What answers?’

‘What do you know about the Ozoemena family?’

Angela in her new persona showed emotions as faintly as a distant echo, but her daughter sitting opposite her was astute enough to perceive something from her face as soon as that name was called.

It was a very slight detail, but she took an unmistakable notice of it.

‘I asked you a question, mum?’ Adaeze came again.

‘Nothing,’ her mother said, her voice only a hollowed whisper.

‘You lie.’

Angela shook her head. ‘No, I don’t.’

>>

Others have seen what is and asked why. I have seen what could be and asked why not.

-Pablo PicassoRelated

She stood up from the bed and started adjusting her jacket and skirt, she was tucking in the purple camisole she had underneath. I moved behind her and held her from behind, putting my hand all around her waist, pressing my deek in between her ass as i started whispering into her ear, how i missed her so much, how i missed sucking her breast, drinking the milk from her breast, told her i feel tasting it again now, i talked about our first night out together and all that happened. I suddenly turned her over and started kissing her, she responded and started kissing me back, i moved her to the bed and that was not without raising up her skirt as we landed on the bed, i make sure she was carried away with the kissing after like a minute before i shifted her pant to one side, inserted my deek and started fucccking her…..i later removed her pant after banging for like 5minutes and sucking her breast at the same time, i was surprise small milk came out of the breast, even though i saw a foam on the bra. In fact, she was the one that helped me remove it quickly from her leg but i didn’t pull off any of her cloth. We lasted for like 30minutes after which i stood up from her and rested on her chest…
Joke: At least you have achieved your aim now, i can start going home
Me: Ahn..ahn, why are you talking like this
Joke: why wont i talk like that when you are too troublesome
Me: Its not really my fault ooo
Joke: Then whose fault? Mine abi and i guess for coming here
Me: No jhoor….It was your beauty and its been a while i had sex, i just couldn’t let go of you just like that. Your thought have always been in my mind, have grown to love you, love your kind of person and what you stand for
Joke: Ati gbo..e don do, you dey love another man’s wife
Me: I can take you away from him ooo
Joke: That is impossible and with what you did today, you will see that i wont come here to check you again, we will only see in public places. Abeg lemme go and clean up myself, you too should dress up and see me off jhoor, this is almost 8pm, my baby is at home waiting for me already
Joke pick up her pant, removed her skirt and jacket, drop them on the bed as she was with her camisole alone. She went to the bathroom to clean up herself; i followed her to clean myself too and that was not without playing with her breast again and came in from behind, i jack from behind for like 5minutes while she held the washing hand basin until i came again. She was the one that helped me wash my deek sef. We dress up, i escorted her outside the hotel as she took bike back to marina. She called me like an hour later telling me she was home already but just parking her car.
The next five weeks i spend in Lagos was tedious but that didn’t stop Joke from visiting me three Sundays out of the five and we also had sex. She never rejected me this time around and i was able to understand that a lady will always tell you she’s not coming back again only if she didn’t enjoy you. I was posted to the branch in Unity with salary of N32,000, i was told that for the next one year, i will rotate between the marketing department and operations, the year will be divided into two, i will spend 6 month in marketing and the next 6month in operations. The bank will appraise me afterwards to know which department will suit my career.
My communication with Amina had reduced because i hardly visited facebook because i have to go to cafe to browse. Internet was not that easy to come by. I met Temilade through facebook, i didn’t know how the connection came about but when i met first met her, she told me she was in her final year in federal University, Akure and working in her father’s firm at the same time. Took me time before she agreed to exchange phone number with me and after she eventually did, we became best of friends and do talk on phone for long almost every day. Instead of sleeping sometime at night i will be doing extra cool with her. I later asked her out after a while even though have not set my eyes on her but she declined that she cant date me reason been that her parent will never support them marrying someone from Offa based on their personal experience with some Offa people in the past and for religious differences too. Nimat was jealous of my closeness to temilade but she relaxed herself after hearing that have never seen her before and she was not ready to date me, i became so close to temilade that there was nothing i don’t discuss with her except my sexcapade though.

Read Episode 55

Three pastors met & agreed to sincerely tell each other their problems which must be kept a secret between the three of them. The first pastor said; my problem is money l do steal even from the church offering. Please pray for me. The second pastor; mine is women. Whenever l see any woman my desire will be to go to bed with her, infact l have slept with most of the church (female) members. Turning to the third pastor to hear his problem he started crying (it took his friends some effort to calm him). When they asked him to continue, he was still crying, he said my problem is gossiping, when we leave this place everybody will hear all what the two of you have just told me. Please pray for me! The two pastors fainted.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-08 00:07:45

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I`m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don’t know.

-Garry ShandlingRelated
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