Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Today is a wonderful day for you to create a good yesterday for tomorrow.

Good Day!Related

Eight months ago she was a minister in Africa's most populous nation and the president of OPEC making her one of the world's most powerful women alive.
Today she is begging the cold hands of death to spare her life from the grip of cancer.

Seven months ago he had won the biggest soccer league in the world as manager of one of the world's most talked about football teams.
Today he is jobless and the butt of the cruellest of jokes in the sports world.

He was released after 1year to serve a 4year house arrest term for culpable homicide of his model South African girlfriend.
Then suddenly, on December 3rd he was convicted of murder for the same action by an appeal court

On Saturday afternoon he was leading the polls to be governor of his Nigerian middle belt state. By 7pm he was pronounced dead by the doctors.

And so is the stories of Diezani, Mourinho, Oscar and Audu remind us of what effect the snap of a finger can have on our lives and how unready life can make us look regardless of the insight and work invested into securing tomorrow.

While there is enormous stupidity in living recklessly under the umbrella of "One Life", there is a want of wisdom in believing that tomorrow is guaranteed as a result of individual struggle and will.

No excuse to be planless Even ants are not that senseless but please appreciate the gift of grace that you have nothing to do with. In the words of Nigerian comedian Basket mouth : "if you think say na by your power you dey wake up, set alarm clock for the head of dead body"

Dear blessed and privileged reader of this message, let humility and gratitude greet your everyday approach to life and never mix confidence for a better tomorrow to arrogance in its certainty from self will.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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for the genius [Read it]


A lady bought goods worth #200 n gave the
shopkeeper a #1000 note.
The shopkeeper had no change on him so he
went to John his neighbor n collected #1000
change in #200 denominations with which he
settled the lady n she left.
A little while later, John came back angrily after
he discovered the #1000 note was fake and
demanded a replacement which was done.
How much has the shopkeeper lost in total?



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-31 07:23:46

321 Views



sex position [Read it]


The following conversation ensued between Akpos and a girl he was getting to know:Girl: “What’s your favorite position in bed?”


Akpos: “Near the wall so I can use my phone while it’s charging”


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-12 18:19:58

328 Views




Timi carried Toun to the car while sparrow and i remained behind. It was still unbelievable that the Abayomi that had hung out with us yesterday was now dead. Sparrow got a call behind me and after he finished, he took Toun and i to Aiyegbami, while Timi went to meet the Hotel management.
Sparrow took us to the spare room in the apartment then he called Jafar, he gave me the phone to talk to him..
Jafar : i told Sparrow to keep you guys secured there…you have more than 20 men around the house..
Me : Abayomi is dead….
Jafar : I will see you guys very soon, they shall not go unpunished..
Me : Promise?
Jafar : with all i am and all that i will ever be
Me : What will i do with Toun?
Jafar L i will be back soon, just hang on…
Toun was sitting on the floor, she was crying bitterly
Toun: what am i now, what will i ever be, what will my life be without him?
me: Toun, Please dont cry?
Toun: I should not cry? do you know we have given our children names?…all of them…
Toun started pulling her clothes, i wanted to stop her but decided against it. when she was stark naked, she started cursing
Toun: Eli, wherever you are, you will lack satisfaction.. you shall drinl water but still be thirsty, you shall eat but still be hungry. what you chase you shall not meet, what you search, you shall not find..
Then she started crying again…i went to hold her…
Me : please dont cry dear, please…
She pushed me away and lay down on the floor…My phone rang, it was Timi.
Timi : how are you?
me: i am ok..
Timi : i am on my way to Ijebu-Ode..Ago is not safe..the school has taken Abayomi’s body to the mortuary..
me: that is a good idea, please be safe…
Timi : how is Toun?
me: she is devastated…i dont know what to do…
Timi: i will be with you guys tomorrow.
me: Abayomi was my best friend.
Timi: i know…
Me : let me know when you arrive at Ijebu-Ode..
Toun was on the floor, she had stopped crying, she was just staring at nothing…then she started laughing…i became worried..
I went to her side and held her..
she started talking to herself…
Toun: Abayomi, you are wicked oh!, is this how we planned it?…you said you will not leave me no matter what..now you have left…
me : Toun, please stop…
Toun : i should stop? they killed my baby!…ah…what kind of pain is this…Ah…
I picked up my phone to call Jafar, i wanted him to tell me it woud be ok….he didnt pick… i thought of Abayomi’s lovely mother…she would be crushed!…He was her star..
My phone started ringing again, it was Timi, i wondered if he had gotten to Ijebu-ode so soon. i ignored the calls, and focused on Toun…After the fifth ring, i picked up..
Timi : why didnt you pick?
me : i was with Toun
Timi: please, this is not the time for you not to pick calls.
me: i am sorry..have you arrived?
Timi : Not yet, at the outskirts
Me: told you to call me when you arrived.
Timi : yes i know, something happened…i got a call from school..
Me : People have found out about Abayomi’s death?
Timi : that’s not it..
Me : then what?
Timi : National’s head is infront of the School gate, on a piece of white cloth on the ground, his body is missing..
I was silent..
me : yeah, lemme know when you get to ijebu-ode..
Jafar was calling Eli out, it was War.
I planned to wait for Jafar to come in before I slept. Toun was sleeping innocently, I wished I could just sleep and when I wake, I would realize that the past few hours had been a dream. Apart from the room in which Toun and I were, the entire house was filled up to the brim. I could hear voices, though they were sober.
I wanted to call my dad to tell him about it, but I decided against it. I was wondering about who I could call when I dozed off, because I woke up to the sound of a couple of cars arriving at the apartment. I eavesdropped till I heard Uche’s deep voice. I waited for Jafar’s but didn’t hear him. I waited until I slept off.
When I woke up, Toun’s eyes were staring at me, she didn’t look happy or sad..she just stared…
Me : How are you feeling?
She didn’t answer me, instead her eyes shone with impending tears.
I excused myself and went to the Living room to see Jafar. I saw Four guys sitting on a brown sofa..
Me : goodmorning bros’es
Guy 1: goodmorning madam…sorry about your friend, we go everly threat those guys fucck up..
I just smiled..
Me : Please is Jafar around?
Guy 1: He left very early…
Me : what of Uche?
Guy 1: he left with him, you have Jafar’s number?
Me : yes
Guy 1: call him…
I walked back to the room to see Toun on the floor. She was singing Yoruba praise songs..I would have joined if I knew the words, but I didn’t so I just called Jafar.
Jafar : Hey
Me : You came in and didn’t bother checking on us?
Jafar : I thought you guys would be asleep..
Me: I was waiting for you..
Jafar : I have to go now, would see you later..
He hung up.
He sound cold, it must be the ish going on, I said to myself. I called Timi..
Timi : baby, how was your night?
Me : I had bad dreams
Timi: I couldn’t sleep. His blood stained by sleeves..
Me: sorry dear..
Timi : How is Toun?
Me : she is not good..
Timi : wow…it’s a terrible thing.
Me: where are you?
Timi : I am in school..news have gone round..
Me: about the deaths?
Timi : yes, the senate has cancelled all electoral activities. Elections have been cancelled. The senate would be meeting by 10am to decide if they should close down the school for a while.
Me: oh..
Timi: I would go to the hotel and pick and and Toun’s things..will bring it over later..
Me : you are a darling, thanks..
Timi: take care..
He hung up..
Toun had stopped singing.
Me: Timi will come see us soon..
Toun started crying, it started with little sobs until she started wailing..
Me : Please stop crying…
Toun: Abayomi is all alone in a mortuary, naked with strangers…and I am here, you say I should not cry?..i keep thinking about the moment he knew he was going to die…he was killed…Abayomi was murdered in cold blood and you say I should stop crying?
She started singing again, it was a Yoruba song about how wonderful God was, and how he wouldn’t fail his children. I couldn’t sing along…but I cried..
To be continued


>>

One week gone, two weeks, Adejoke
has started becoming something else
at home, if i come home anything
past eight in the night, it will be
seriously problem, Joke will fight me
asking where i was coming from, why
i came late, what i was doing outside,
the worst part of it was if i smell of
alcohol she will fight me till it will
lead to physical battle…
On weekends, she will seize my car
key from me, keep it somewhere i
don’t know, lock the door and never
allow me to go outside. She monitor
my calls, any strange lady she sees
that call me, she will call the lady
back and blast her, she goes through
my chat always and ensure that i
don’t call any lady while am at home,
in fact she seize my phone too
anytime she feel like..i was loosing it
already as i couldn’t cope with that
kind of life style. The first time she
struggled my phone with me that i
don’t want to give her, she smashed
the phone on the floor, my nokia E91
was scattered beyond repairable, i
always beat her anytime she start
with her wahala and she will bite me
severally, she has even threatened
me with a knife before.
I was not enjoying my peaceful life
again, i always pray for weekends not
to come, or during the week, i will be
praying for night not to come either.
It has been close to two months Joke
and Olamilekan has been staying
with me, there was nothing like sex
between us aside the afternoon she
came in, the only sex i was having
was from my junior staff in the office
that always give me a quickie (had to
tell the lady not to be wearing trouser
to the office again except skirt
because of quickie). I was in the
office this afternoon when i received
a mail that i should report to Lagos
that day unfailingly.
I called Adejoke to tell her i will be
going to Lagos, i decided to go with
one of the official car, in fact i have to
forward the mail to joke’s email
address before calling her to tell her
but even with that, she still call me to
abuse me that she knows the lagos i
was going to, i would have arrange a
girl to fucck in that lagos i was going
or there would have been some of
my colleagues in our head office
waiting for me..She said she was
waiting for me and if i like i should
try and do nonsense that she will
know.
I got to head office around 3pm and i
was surprised it was staff disciplinary
committee (SDC) waiting for me, i
was told i was involved in a fraud of
N150million. “Me, defraud the bank
to the tune of N150Million”. Told
them i don’t know anything about it,
that have been a loyal staff for more
than seven years and the bank was
the one that gave me the platform to
be where i am today and why will i
defraud same bank.

>>

Dear Spell Check,

I’m pretty sure I spelled my name correctly.Related

One day, when Johnnie came home from school, his mom asked him how his day went.

He said, “We’re learning about sexual education.”

She smiled, and said, “At least he’s learning something useful.”

Johnnie went up to his room. A little later, Johnnie’s mom went up to his room to call him for dinner. She opens his door and sees him playing with himself.

She says, “Johnnie, when you’re done with your homework, supper’s on the table.”Related

Life can give us a number of beautiful and rich friends;

But only true friends can give us a beautifully rich life!Related

haunting reply [Read it]


An Igbo man mistakenly sent 2 million naira
to a
wrong account number via Mobile Money
Transfer. He thought of what to do so as to
stop
the person from withdrawing the money and
he
came up with this… He sent a message to the
person’s phone saying:
“Hello Dark and Worthy Initiate, I hope u are
ok. I
believe u have received the money I sent to
you?
It’s for your initiation into the Eternal
Mystical
Order Of Glorious Satanism in the Ogboni
Fraternity scheduled to take place
tomorrow’s
midnight 12am. That money is only for your
transport.
I’ll send you more for your shopping. There
are
riches awaiting you in this Kingdom. Two
weeks
after the initiation, a family member very
close to
your heart will die in a mysterious
circumstance
and another 2 weeks later the next person
close
to your heart again will die too, these deaths
will
unlock your ticket to wealth, ability to fly at
night
to any part of the world, change into all kinds
of
animal to deliver your various assignments.
Remember to come with a syringe and
needle for
drawing your blood every 20 minutes. Please
remember that you must not come a minute
late
nor a minute earlier because the Viceroy of
Satan
will be there himself to officiate the
ceremony.
Thanks in advance.
But in case you are not ready to join, please
send
back the money otherwise you will die in the
next
24hrs”.
…….5 minutes later he got an sms saying,
Wow!
pls send another 2 million naira my friend is
also
interested…
The Igbo Man Fainted.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-01 23:10:15

315 Views




Women Are Such Complex Creatures:


If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman,

If you don’t you are not a man.


If you praise her, she thinks you are lying,

If you don’t, you are good for nothing.


If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp,

If you don’t you are not understanding.


If you visit her often, you are boring,

If you don’t she accuses you of double crossing.


If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy,

If you don’t, she says you are a dull guy.


If you are a minute late, she complains it’s hard to wait,

If she is late, she says it is a girls way.


If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold,

If you kiss her often, she yells you are taking advantage.


If you talk, she wants you to listen,

If you listen, she wants you to talk.


IN SHORT…

So simple, yet so complex,

So weak, yet so powerful,

So confusing, yet so desirable,

So daming, yet so wonderful… WOMEN !Related

babies [Read it]


A child asked his father, "How were people born?"
So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies,
then their babies became adults and made babies,
and so on." The child then went to his mother,
asked her the same question and she told him,
"We were monkeys then we evolved to become like
we are now." The child ran back to his father and
said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your
mom was talking about her side of the family."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-05 14:01:42

368 Views




When you are feeling depressed n defeated…

Just remeber that…

U were once the strongest and the fastest sperm of ur father!!

Go Spermie Go!!!Related

Public opinion is what people think other people are thinkingRelated

Two insane people plan 2 run out from a psychiatric.they decided 2 go to d gate beat up the gateman and ran away.
In the night,they went 2 d gate,the gateman was not there,but gate is wide open.
Madman1h no,our plans are destroyed,let's go may be we will try 2morow


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-27 01:41:53

433 Views




A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have
just lost their bull. The women need to buy
another, but only have $500. The redhead tells
the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I
can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will
send you a telegram." She goes to the market and
finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left,
she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that
it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on
how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and
trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to
send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the
operator asks, "How will she know to come with
the trailer from just that word?" The redhead
replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come
for ta bull.'"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-08 13:07:27

296 Views




Akpos attended a wedding.
After the wedding the reception was a
gathering of about 30 people.
He sat at the front seat.
Then a lady started sharing food. She started
from the back and unfortunately, it didn’t
reach those at the front.
When her friends started sharing drinks, they
started from the front but unfortunately,
Akpos had already changed his seat to the
back.
Again, the drink didn’t reach him.
Akpos was so furious that he stood up to
take his leave, but then he saw three ladies
each with a big bowl.
This time, he tried to be wise by seating in
the middle.
To his uttermost surprise, one of the ladies
started sharing from the front while the
second lady started distributing from the
back. It was turkey meat. When it got to the
middle where he was seated it got finished
again.
Feeling so frustrated, Akpos bent his head,
not looking at any face… .. But then the third
lady tapped him and stretched her bowl that
he should pick.. he stretched his hand…
Guess what was in the bowl? **TOOTHPICK.**
If you were Akpos, what would you do?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-11 18:43:06

517 Views




My virgin story
Episode 4

In school I was attending this cool fellowship, Beleivers Love-world. It was known on campus to have many pretty girls in attendance. I was a regular member of the church. In-fact I soon join the choir. The first day I served in the choir, I noticed there was this girl beside me with a sweet, soprano voice. I never bothered to look through out this service cos I was busy singing along. Immediately after this service, I decided to look nd lo and behold, I found myself looking into the yes of this very beautiful damsel. She was dark, with beautiful smooth skin. She was tall, in fact taller than me. She was slim, with tiny waist. I first complimented her sweet voice, then introduced myself to her as Lekan and she said her name was Precious. She said she was in the school of business and I said I was in the school of sciences. That was all about that. Up to that moment, she was one of the most beautiful girls I've come across on campus and I felt I stood no chance with her so i decided to take things slow. We kept on seeing each other every sunday but we never got beyond being mere acquaintances and only exchanged greetings. I was desperate to move to the next level but disn't know how to. Then something happened that brought us closer.
It was in the middle of the hammattan season. Second semester exams were fast approaching and students were reading like hell, trying to catch up on their books. Students read in classes late into the night and even slept in the classes not minding the cold. I decided to go to the school of business to read at night because that's where most of the beautiful girls on campus usually went. One night, I was busy with my books as usual when I felt someone tap me on the back. I looked behind me and saw myself looking at precious.
"Hello, remember me?"she smiled at me.
What, I thought in my mind. There was no way I couldn't remember her. Hell, I've been dreaming about her.
She came and sat beside me. There was a science course we used to take together with business students. It was an elective for them and many of them found it difficult although we science students found it easier. She said that was an opportunity for her as she had been looking for somebody to take her through the course. I was happy, finally an opportunity to take things to the next level. We started reading together everynight in the class. she would cal me in the evening before going to class and I would go and join her in the class. I later realized she was a big girlon campus. Actually she was dating one of the SUG members.Well, I didn't care.
One night, we were reading together in the class when I realized Precious was feeling uncomfortable. She told me she wanted to stroll and asked me to accompany her which I obliged. We stolled down the balcony of the school of business holding hands. we went towards the hostel, gisting along the way. As we walked and got closer to the park around the hostel, I felt her hand tighten around mine. The park was a shade of trees with concrete seats. it was popular as a hangout for lovers. On this night it was dimly lit and several parts of it were dark. Precious asked us to settle in the darker part of the park and we continued gisting. Then she started complaining that she was feeling cold. As a guy, I knew what she wanted but i acted ignorant cos she was so beautiful I didn't trust myself around her. I started explaining to her that the female body system was subject to heat changes much more than the male system, I was getting intellectual and I knew it was getting her frustrated. Then at a point, she removed her hand from mine and looked me in the eyes. Even as I looked at her beautiful eyes, I felt an aching in my groin and I knew if we made contact I wouldn't be able to control myself.
"Why are you telling me all this. I said I am cold and you can't do anything about it."
That was the last rebuke I needed to hear. It was the final green-light to move on. I moved closer and wrapped my arms around her. She snuggled closer and laid her head on my chest. The contact was electrifying. I felt a shock ring through my body and several fantasies playing out in my mind. Then I kissed her.---
I crushed my lips on hers with passion. It was my first kiss and I wasn't sure how it would turn out cos it was just momentary. I didn't think before kissing her. But damn! I never knew a girl's lips could taste that sweet. She responded with equal fervour, sucking in my lips. then I pushed in my tongue and she sucked it in too. I tasted the interior of her mouth, then tasted her tongue. It was obvious she had been licking tom-tom, cos I tasted that sweet, minty taste on her tongue. We just kept kissing for several minutes. I think she really liked it. She kept snuggling closer. she drew her hand and started caressing my chest. She moved to my face and kept touching me all over. Then she slipped her hand through my shirt and started stroking my bare chest. All this while we were still kissing. men, It was crazy. My J-man was already stiff, ready to spring into action. My jeans was bulging and pushing on her. She felt it on her side, shifted a little and looked into my eyes smiling. I managed to break free of her Mouth. I was eager to start using my mouth elsewhere. I pulled her up so that she was sitting partly on my laps and her bosom was in the full glare of my face. She must have known what I had in mind cos she quickly removed her cardigan, leaving the strapless top she was wearing underneath. I slipped my hand through her top, to her back and unhooked her bra, using my other hand to support her.I roamed my hands over the twin oranges. They were not big but they were not small either. I liked them cos they were firm. I squeezed the unmentionables for a while, then started flicking my fingers over her nipples. I would place a nipple between two fingers and roll on them. I was desperate to bleep her but I was patient, Throughout my life, I had never been in a hurry. I wanted to enjoy every moment and wanted to give her plaesure too. She started giving a low, pleasurable moan which I really liked. Then she crushed herlips on my mouth and we started kissing again. Once more, I broke the kiss and started planting soft kisses all over her face. she was smiling, making giggling sounds, enjoying it. Then I ifted her top to expose her unmentionables. i couldn't see them cos it was very dark. Then I set my mouth on her unmentionables and started sucking. I put a nipple in between my lips and started rolling my tongue on it. At the same time I grabbed the other orange in my other hand and squeezed. She started making sweet noises, which started growing louder as I sucked her unmentionables. At a time, I squeezed the two oranges together and flicked my tongue across the two tosy niples at the same time. men, she was shuddering. She moved her hand to my jeans, opened my zipper and slipped in. She started playing with my engorged instrument. The sensation was crazy, I started moaning myself as I felt intense pleasure from her touches. I was drifting into paradise, floating on oceans of pleasure. Suddenly, I felt a bright light shining towards us.
"Who are those?"I heard a deep, hoarse voice close to us.
Precious shrank in fright, but I kept my cool, ready to challenge who it was that was disturbing my pleasure. unfortunately, Precious had quickly removed herself from me. She stood up and quickly wore her cardigan. She kept her removed bra in the pocked of her jeans. I looked at her, all the passion had dissolved. For me it was another broken lovemaking session-------

>>

Pappu: Ma’m, why did Gandhi Ji and Einstein had little or no hair on their head?

Teacher: Because of intelligence.

Pappu: No wonder, girls have such long hair!Related

Women are like telephones.
They love to be held.
They love to be talked to.
But, if you press the wrong button, you're disconnected.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-24 16:25:46

521 Views




Teacher:science and art which is better.
Akpors:science.
Teacher:if a child is crying u can use a lullaby to lure de baby to sleep..lullaby is in art..den what formula can u use to lure a baby to sleep?.
Akpors:let de baby inhale laughing gas...
.
.
.
.
.
ONE WORD 4 AKPORS.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-13 14:01:28

689 Views




“What nonsense!” The disgusted Doctor called
out.
“This nonsense is for my marriage.” She
replied.
She seduced the Doctor with so much
desperation. She was too voluptuous to be
resisted. The Doctor fell for it and had sex
with her, ‘a quickie’. She stood up, put on her
dress, tossed the cheque back to the Doctor.
“My marriage is so important to me Doctor.
I’ll do anything to keep it. I’m sure this will
keep your mouth shut.” She said and made
her way to the door. She opened the door and
wham! Her husband was standing at the door.
She almost died at the spot.
“Simon!” She called out loudly.
“What in the world are you doing here?” Simon
asked Benita.
“Oh…oh I came… I mean the Doctor… the
Doctor asked to see me.”
She replied glibly but refused to leave the door
way.
Astonished, “He did? He called me too. He
asked me to see him in 2hours time.
Fortunately I was driving by the hospital. So I
decided to see him. You’re sweating, unsettled
and looking untidy. Are you
okay?” Asked Simon.
“Oh…yes… sure, I’m alright. I hurried down to
the hospital. I was driven by curiosity.” She
said nervously and fought to attend to
herself.
They went in and the Doctor fabricated
another reason for asking to see them.
They left the hospital and returned
home. Benita was surprised at the mood her
husband returned with. He made love to her
over and over again.
.
# 9_MONTHS_LATER
Benita was in labour in the hospital. She gave
birth to a twin. Two bouncing baby boys.
Simon almost jumped into the sky. He was
extremely joyful. His excitement twisted into a
confused state when
he discovered his babies were almost black in
complexion. His wife Benita, and him were
completely fair. The Doctor looked at the
babies and instantly discovered the babies
were his. Simon looked at the Doctor, turned
to the baby and finally
looked at his wife. He couldn’t say a word.
That moment a friend called him and insisted
to see him immediately. His friend told him it
was very urgent as it
concerned his wife. Simon left the hospital to
meet his friend. His friend showed him a sex
video tape he downloaded from the
internet. It was his wife and a man (Andrew,
someone took it from his phone and uploaded
it on the net). The sex video tape was
everywhere in the internet. Three peoples were
discussing it as they
passed by them. Simon almost cried as his
anger rose to the apex.
He returned to the hospital with an infuriated
mind. He met some nurses also discussing it
and his anger boiled and
increased. He showed the sex video to Benita
and yelled the miserable life out of
her. Benita cried like a dead child walking to
hell.
Simon abandoned her there. Benita couldn’t
bear to manage the shame of her failed
marriage and especially her sex video that has
flooded the internet.
She killed herself right there in the hospital.
She expelled her last breath before the Doctor
could save her.
The Doctor confessed the truth to Simon later.
He took the babies to his wife to look after.
They were childless. So they both welcomed
the babies. Simon moved on with his life
because life must go on.
One Last Time resulted to Benita’s last
breath.
…the end.
.
Ladies, the moment your wedding is fixed, buy
a new sim card and break the old one if it’ll
help you. Your ex should become a
complete loser without any form of
compensation. Put your mind towards the
future and leave the past behind.

Thanks for reading this short story



Read Episode 2

The morning came with cold wind which seemed to have made everyone stay indoor that fateful morning.
Adaora was also caught indoor,on the little mat which she shared with Sonia the previous night,wondering if there was anything she could do to lift Sonia from the dilemma she found herself.She knew Sonia was in more trouble than she could imagine;if she was shown on the television,that means she must be on the newspapers as well.

Adaora smiled to herself on remembering how they got past the police checkpoint the previous day,driving down here,where she deemed safer.The policemen were holding Sonia's picture.As they looked at the picture,they looked at them in the taxi.Sonia had eyed her,not knowing that it has gotten to that level.Sonia's excessive make ups and changed appearance made it impossible for the police to identify her.

Adaora was ready to do all she could to see that Sonia escaped falling into the dangerous pit that was on her way,even if it meant seeking help from where she vowed never to.
An uncomfortable feeling invaded Adaora.Her eyes never saw Sonia that morning.
She opened the wooden door of the old mud house and looked around;perhaps,Sonia may be sweeping the little compound but to her surprise,she was not there.A quick wave of fear swept through her as she ran around checking every corner of the building calling her name but not even her shadow was seen.Sonia was gone.Gone to God-knows-where.



Tony filled the air with early morning yellow dust as he sped off,with the nearest hospital on his mind.At regular intervals,his eyes went to the woman lying at the back seat.The fear in him didn't permit him to have a good look at her.So,he didn't know it was Angela,his best friend's wife that he knocked down.
She wasn't moving,getting him thinking if she was still alive or dead.
His phone was ringing as he added more speed to the tyres.It was David but he was far from being in the mood to answer.

Tony pulled into the hospital,signaling to the nurses to come over immediately.They came with the stretcher and without wasting any time,pushed her in to commence treatment on her.
Tony waited behind,bearing in mind that he'd missed the important business appointment that morning.
_____

"Excuse me nurse,"Tony approached the nurse who came out from the room the victim was taken into,"how is she doing?"

"Calm down sir,we will get back to you"The nurse told him and left for another ward.

Just almost immediately she left,the doctor came out.Tony rushed to him.

"Doctor.how far?"Tony asked him.

"Are you her husband?"He asked in return.

"No.I was the one who knocked her down.Is there any problem?"Tony was already worried she might be badly injured internally.

"Uhmm,for now,there isn't much problem.We need to see her husband and that's maybe when she regains consciousness"The doctor stressed out.

"Can i see her?"Tony asked,the hope of still catching the appointment coming back to him.

"Sure.but she shouldn't be disturbed.
I think she got into bad hands because she was so unkept and unclad except for the light white material she was wearing but the nurses saw to that.Meanwhile,they are minor papers you have to sign before leaving"


Tony opened the door and saw her lying on the bed,with a big drip connected to her arm.He came close to observe her properly before leaving for the appointment,making up his mind to come and check on her as soon as possible.He had given one of the nurses some money to get her some food when she gets up.

As Tony beheld her face,he felt a high sense of familarity.Getting even closer,he almost stumbled,realising it was Angela,David's missing wife.

"Angela"he called her name softly,running his head over her forehead,feeling so sorry for her.

Angela opened her eyes and found Tony sitting close to her.

"Tony"She called weakly and noticed him shock greatly,bringing him back from his thoughts.

"Angela, are you alright"He seemed relaxed and better,knowing she was getting better.

"I feel very weak and hungry.Does david know i'm here?"She asked again.

"No.i was about calling him"He replied,dipping hand into his pocket to get his phone.

"No.don't call him yet,please"Angela pleaded.

"Why? Your husband is dying.Your absence is killing him.He needs to see you"

"I know but please don't call him yet"She pleaded again.

Tony alighted from the car and got into the house.David was dressed and seemed ready to leave.Tony looked around the parlour and saw empty bottles on the centre table in the parlour and eyed David.

"What happened? Why weren't you picking my calls?"David asked him.

"There was a problem.I knocked someone down.Are you going out?"Tony tried averting the question.

"I know you are a rough driver.Did you kill the person?"David asked,smiling at him.

"God forbid.She is getting better"Tony smiled too.

"I'm about going to the police station to know if they have any news for me.From there to my inlaws and from there to the streets if no good news.I cant stop searching for Angela"David told him.

"Its still too early David.Don't worry,your wife will return to you.Relax your mind.God is in control"Tony advised him.


____
Ebere was packing some clothes into some travelling bags,with fear all over her.The fear of Angela coming for her with the police and the fear of the gods coming for her.The old dibia had told her to make sure she produced Angela for the sacrifice because he already promised the gods her blood or else the gods would come after her(Ebere).

The door swung open,leaving Ebere perplexed because she thought she bolted it.Sonia removed the glasses from her eyes and stared at Ebere murderously pointing a short black gun at her.

"No.Sonia please.Don't do it please,i am begging you"Ebere pleaded,shedding tears with her kneels on the ground.

"You are heartless.You don't deserve to live.Couldn't you at least have had mercy on me? What would my going to prison profit you? Souls like you deserve to rot in hell"Ebere told her with tears rolling down her own cheeks.

"I can make up for everything.Please bring down the gun"Ebere pleaded.

"Its too late.very late.I have killed before.Yes i killed paul and regretted it but i will never regret killing you.Go to hell while i go to prison.Goodbye"Sonia whispered to Ebere before sending her down with a killing shot.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Akpors went to the police one day to make a report about his lost bicycle that had been missing for a few days after he thought he heard something suspicious the night before. The following conversation took place:
AKPORS: My new bicycle has been stolen!
POLICE: When did you notice?
AKPORS: 2 days ago, at first I thought I just couldn`t remember where I put it, but now I`m sure it is a case of theft my bicycle was stolen.
POLICE: Why do you say so? Do you have a suspect?
AKPORS: Yes, my mum and dad.
POLICE: Why do you suspect them?
AKPORS: Well, last night I heard my mum say, Make it stand so I can sit on it very well. and dad said, Climb up fast before it falls. I then heard mum say, Push slowly, don`t hurt me!
POLICE: (laughing uncontrollably) Go back home Akpors and look for your bicycle well, the one your parents were riding is SENIOR BICYCLE!!!!
One word for Akpors this time around?



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-13 14:01:15

1060 Views




EPISODE 34 & 35

Dr Hope had suspected she might be lying but she
remembered her.
She was Cynthia’s friend. She had actually
introduced her as her ‘sister from another mother’,
that afternoon they came for the pregnancy test.
Dr Hope remembered the short dark girl that was all smiles that day. Her smile was even larger than
that of her friend who the good news was for.
She had remembered her perfect white dentition,
the way it lit up her entire face in the smile.
She had wanted to ask her what brand of tooth
cleaner she used. But eventually she asked her what she did for a living. Hoping to hear her
mention dentist or actress, she heard pharmacist
instead. Dr Hope had been impressed all the same.
But now that she had asked Nurse Bisi to show her
the ward where the girl was, ‘the poor girl’–as
she’d referred to her, she had developed a bit of scruple.
Vanessa took a fat breath and pushed the door of
the room open.
Mma was fast asleep on the bed.

EPISODE 35

With a small smile of evil, Vanessa removed the
syringe from her bag. It was loaded with the same
wickedness that was to be found if one cut open
her heart.
She fixed the needle and walked straight to the
bed, to the silicon-like sac hanging from its holder above Mma’s bed.
The plastic sac was half-filled with a bloody liquid.
Its long and thin tube traveled all the way to
Mma’s wrist.
Vanessa was near the bed when one last step went
awry and instead of holding the IV bag to inject her deadly substance, she found herself crashing
down the tiled hospital floor.
She had stepped on Mma’s heap of banana
peelings. She had eaten then before she
succumbed to the unconsciousnessof sleep.
But now she was awake. The muffled scream of ‘Jesus’ and the thud of heavy body against tiled
floor had awakened her.

>>

I MISS YOU MUM EPISODE 8 (STORY BY DINDY)

Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story...

Sunday went by for me like a man trying to fight for air.
The next day my alarm rang, I stood up and went downstairs for our normal morning prayers. After the prayers, I went straight to take my bath.
While I was bathing, I heard my mum calling me, so i quickly washed off the soap off my face.
I turned left and right, but I didn't see her, so I continued to bath. As I bent down to fetch water from the bucket, I heard my mum calling me again, this time I was totally confused, so I opened the bathroom door a little and looked out side to see maybe she was there, but I didn't see her.
I began to think that I was losing my mind, "God please save me from my thoughts and imagination", i said to myself.
I quickly took my bath, then left the bathroom because I was kinda scared. I went to my room, got dressed and left for school.
While I was in school, I heard someone calling my name, it didn't sound like my mum's voice, it sounded like a little girl's voice.
I looked around, but didn't see the person that called me. All I saw were my friends, some were playing and some were writing.
I started thinking, whether it was a witch or an evil spirit that was calling my name --My dad always tells me that, any time I hear my name and the person that called me is no where to be found, that I should shout "BLOOD OF JESUS!"--,
I started shouting "BLOOD OF JESUS, BLOOD OF JESUS" in my mind. I can't shout it out loud because my friends would think other wise.
After I shouted the "BLOOD OF JESUS" three times, something cold passed me, it felt like I just lost something. I guessed maybe it was the cold breeze, which was blowing from out side or the fan that was above my head.
On tuesday very early in the morning, I heard my dad's car zooming off, I jumped up and looked out my window. I wondered where he was going to, by that hour of the day (when that day wasn't a sunday).
I went down stairs to ask my aunty where my dad was going, luckily for me, I met her coming in from out side. I stoped and asked her where my dad was going to.
She said "Junior your mum is in labour --I was 13 going to 14 at that time, so I knew what she meant--.
I was very happy to hear that, all my worries were over, everything I did was with joy that day. I went to school and did all my classwork with joy, I played with joy and ate with joy, I laughed with joy and talked with joy, I smiled with joy and listened with joy.
Every little thing I did that day, I did with joy. My aunty came to pick my little bro up by 3.30, which was very unusual.
After a long happy day, the closing bell come on and I was so happy because I knew that when I got home, I would be hearing good news about my mum and the baby. I was very anxious to know whether it was a boy or a girl.
When I got home, the gate was locked, so i went to the security man (Mr James) of my street to ask him, whether my aunty dropped the keys to our house with him.
--He was an old wise man, with a very understanding mind, everyone in my area loved him for his good gestures and advise--.
Me: "Good evening sir", I greeted him again for the second time, after greeting him when I came back from school.
Mr James: "Yes boy", He said.
Me: "Sir, did my dad or aunty drop our house keys here?", I asked.
Mr James: "No they didn't__wait__oh yea your aunty did, she said I should tell you that, your food is in the cooler inside the down cupboard and she also said she was going to the market and she would be back soon", he said to me.
Me: "Ok sir, thank you sir", I said.
He went in to get the keys, where he hung them in his little apartment.
Mr James: "here are the keys", he said giving me the keys.
Me: "Thank you very much sir", I said collecting them.
I took the keys from his hand and went to my house, i unlocked the gate and door. Without dropping or removing my shoes nor uniform, I moved straight to the kitchen to check what my aunty prepared.
I followed the instruction given to me by me James and opened the cooler. When i opened the cooler, what I saw made me dance azonto for some minute. I saw eba and egusi my favourite food, --I don't joke with that food at all--.
Hours later, my aunty came back with my little bro and with food stuffs in her hand, I helped her drop the food stuff in the kitchen.
My dad called my aunty around 9pm and he told her that my mum was still in labour. when my aunty told me what my dad told her, I was kinda afraid because my mum had been in labour since morning, then she said that she heard prayers going on when my dad called.
I and my aunty prayed for my mum before we went to sleep that night.
The next morning, I woke up feeling better than I have ever felt, my dad called in the morning to inform us that my mum gave birth to a girl, I was so happy hearing that and I felt like a senior man.
The joy that was inside me, felt like an explosive, my dad told my aunty that they would be back in the evening with my mum and my little sister. My aunty was happy too, so she decided to goto the market to buy things, that my mum would eat.
I went to school that day feeling like a big boy --It's not easy to be a senior man my people--.
School was fun and cool, with funny things and behaviours every now and then. the day went on very fast.
After closing time, I went to check on my bro whether he was in his class or not. When I got there I saw him, so I call him and we both went home together.
When we got to the front gate of our street, we knocked on the gate but no responded, luckily for me the gate was unlocked. It was so weird to me because mr James never leaves his post or leaves the gate unlocked.
When we went in, I saw mr James coming out of my house with a sad face, I greeted him and moved straight home.
When i got inside my house, I saw my dad's car parked out side. I quickly ran inside leaving my little bro behind.
I opened the door and I saw my aunty with some of our church members crying. --There were three women and two men, The women were from the women's fellowship, while the men were Mathew and kelvin from the prayer warrior department.--
Within me, I was like "Why is my aunty crying? or did something bad happen to my little sis?".
I was about to ask my aunty what happened, when bro kelvin walked up to me with a sorrowful eyes and said "Neil I don't know how to say this, I wish it didn't happen", he stoped and cried a little with his hand on my right shoulder.
Within me, I was like "What's going on? just tell me, just tell me".
I looked at him and said "Uncle kelvin, what is it?".
The next words which came out his mouth, made tears ran down my eyes.
He said "Neil your mum is dead, she's gone, she is gonnnneeee", he said crying.
I fell on my knees, as i screamed "mmuuumm!!" aloud and tears climbed down my eyes until it landed on the floor....... To be continue... "When feelings are exchanged".
STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected] Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi.








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Scripture [Read it]


An elderly woman had just returned to her home
from an evening of
Church services when she was startled by an
intruder. She caught the man in the
act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled,
"Stop! Acts 2:38!" (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus
Christ so that your sins may
be forgiven.) The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained
what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he
asked the burglar, "Why
did you just stand there? All the old lady did was
yelling a scripture to
you." "Scripture?" replied the burglar. "She said she had
an Ax and Two 38's!" #Try this 4 9ja... nah die bdat#AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-07 08:25:19

1043 Views




I woke up today . Someone Somewhere Just took their last breath am about Sleeping Someone Somewhere is Crying. Always Thank The Lord no matter the Situation.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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d preacher [Read it]


a precher travel to china to evangelise when he met a china guy over there d preacher ask d guy whether he knw abt d calvary d china guy replied i dont knw but if u wil giv me one sample i'm gonna produce two.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-01 11:50:49

768 Views



expensive pen [Read it]


A secretary received an expensive pen from her
boss as a birthday present.
Later she sent a text to thank him. The boss's
wife read the text first, became furious and
packed out of the house.
The boss was puzzled, he couldn't understand
why, until he took his time to read his secretary's
text.
"Thanks boss your 'penis' so beautiful, I like it so
much."
So remember when texting, spacing is very
important!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-16 09:38:33

482 Views




Titi: doctor the patient in ward 101 is convulsing
Yemi: what?please excuse me
Joab: alright(enter Titi/Yemi/Lilian)
Mark: let's go home
Joab: home
Mark: what do you want to do?
Joab: i will wait for them to be through
Mark: please;let's go,the doctor doesn't even know your wife
Joab: yes;but that lady,the nurse
Mark: yes;its like she know more about your wife
Joab: exactly;that is why i will wait for her?
Mark: not today lets just go home
Joab: alright;shall we(curtain)
Lola: doctor;i came as soon as i heard your call
Doctor: thank God you came
Katherina: what is wrong with my sister?
Doctor: we are really sorry;one of the nurses administer a wrong drug to her;which lead to...

Katherina: to about?
Doctor: i am sorry;she lost the baby
Lola: what?
Isabella: doctor;i lost my baby?
Lola: baby relax
Isabella: i should relax,they kill my baby;yes they killed my baby
Katherina: doctor;what do we do now?
Doctor: i am afraid that(he inject her and she fell asleep)it might affect her.....
Lola: you are afraid of what?
Doctor: that she might not be able to give birth in future due to the miscarriage
Katherina: you are kidding right?
Doctor: i am not;all we just need at this time is to pray for a miracle to happen
Lola: Miracle?for the negligent of your nurses? and you put my sister life in danger and you say we should pray for a miracle(she pushed the doctor) go on;tell me
Katherina: Lola;will you stop
Lola: stop?definitely;i will stop but just tell this woman to make the miracle happen instead of asking us to pray
Katherina: will you keep quiet
Lola: yes;i am quiet and i am leaving;excuse me(exit Lola)
Katherina: i am really sorry
Doctor: is okay;i will just go ahead(exit Doctor)
Katherina: life is so complicated(curtain) (at Zeal's apartment)
Handsome: good day Ada
Ada: good day;how did you know my name?
Handsome: your brother told me about you
Ada: really(enter Zuriel)which of my brother?if i may asked
Handsome: obedient
Zuriel: who is this boy looking for?
Ada: he is looking for
Handsome: whoa;you are cute(he touch him)i like what i see
Zuriel: who is this man?
Handsome: my name is Handsome and i am here for Obedient
Zuriel: as in;you are here to see Obedient or Obed?i still don't get(enter Obed) just go get Obed for him
Obed: for what?do you want to impose him on me?
Zuriel: i know you are the only one who keep stupid friends
Obed: may it not be well with you
Zuriel: i know
Handsome: hey;i am not looking for this boy but his twin
Zuriel: please;just...
Handsome: young man,i think i will like to make you my friend also(he touch him)lovely boy(enter Obedient)
Obedient: hey buddy;what are you doing here?
Zuriel: brother;don't tell me;you assuredly know this gay?
Handsome: watch it man;i am not a gay;i am such a pretty girl
Obedient: will you stop it;let's go
Zuriel: this family is so unbelievable(exit Zuriel)
Obedient: just go home Handsome;i will talk to you later
Handsome: alright;i will(exit Handsome)
Obed: you will not keep this your stupid friend away from this house
Ada: Obedient; don't tell me that boy is really your friend?
Obed: no;he is my friend;i am a drunk;a smoker;yes;i am also a rapist;i am capable of anything but i will not stood so low so as to be interested in a fellow boy. i am not gay(enter Zeal)i am not attracted to boys;i just loved women,beautiful things
Ada: don't tell me;you are gay;as in homosexual?
Obed: stay there and disbelieve the fact that this brother of yours is a gay. just one perfect boy
Zeal: Obedient is it true(tears roll his eyes)go on;tell me;is it true
Obedient: father;please forgive me
Zeal: so is true
Ada: Jesus;i cant believe this
Obed: believe it;excuse me(exit Obed)
Obedient: forgive me(enter Alice)
Zeal: i should forgive you?you two are just useless
Alice: hold it there;my children are not useless
Zeal: really
Obedient: dad,i am sorry
Zeal: sorry for being a gay or sorry for what?
Alice: what?
Zeal: ask your son(exit Zeal)
Alice: is it true
Obedient: yes mom;but i am sorry
Alice: you killed me(he passed out)
Obedient: mom;please stop this rubbish
Ada: mom
Obedient: go call the doctor
Ada: alright
Obedient: mother;please wake up(curtain)
Lilian: hey sir;why are you here?
Joab: we want to talk to you
Lilian: about what?
Joab: is a long talk;why don't we do it over lunch?
Lilian: alright;no problem(at the restaurant)don't you think we should place our order?
Joab: alright my me(waiter take their order)i am really sorry for the disturbance
Lilian: is okay;i am fine with it;so what is it?
Joab: alright;thanks,it seems you know my wife very well?
Lilian: of cause i do;when she delivered i was there
Joab: really?what sex of baby did she have?
Lilian: is a boy
Joab: what?
Lilian: yes,she gave birth to a boy
Joab: but how is it that;she came home with a girl?
Lilian: go asked your mother-in-law
Joab: she is dead also
Lilian: i don't understand you
Joab: is a long story;they both died when revealing the truth and i thought they were lying that my wife cheated on me
Lilian: that is not true;the day i saw you at the doctor's office;i was happy because i know;i will soon be free from this burden i carried in my heart for seventeen good years. on that faithful day;your wife gave birth another woman had also given birth the next day; but she had a girl but when she gave birth to the baby girl;she never stopped crying just as your wife never stopped weeping bitterly and the doctor asked her why?she said she wanted a boy;then i was in the room. so i said,'this world is something else;some people want a boy and God gave them girl;while others want a girl and got a girl. then why don't they switch babies'
JOAB: what?you made the subjection?
Lilian: yes;i did but i wasn't expecting the woman with a female baby to take it to heart
Joab: and
Lilian: after the doctor left;she said she want to see the woman with the male baby;so i took her to your wife and mother
Joab: so
Lilian: she asked if they can switch baby;immediately you wife accepted even when her mother rejected the offer
Joab: what?
Lilian: yes;she gave up her son;but when she was parting with the boy;she said name him;Zuriel and please don't ever let him feel unloved and place a chain on his hand,then the lady replied,'as long as this baby is alive;i will never stop loving him because of him;i will have someone to call me mother'

Joab: i don't understand you;she have a baby girl;right?why will she say that?
Lilian: yes;until now;that is a misery to me.then she told your wife ;please make you never make my daughter cry because when she cry;i will also cry because is my blood and then your wife said,'give me the opportunity of naming your daughter;Isabella and my husband will love her because she had given him live and she had stop me from becoming a widow this early' she agreed but this should remain a secret between them;no one will come look for their child back
Joab: i can't believe this,is like the movie
Mark: a real movie
Lilian: yes;it was so easy for the young woman to fall in love with your son;just as it was with your wife;yes that is how it happen
Mark: but how do we get the world in question?like where she live?her name?her looked?
Lilian: she is Melisa Zeal but she is very a wealthy woman;it will be difficult to get your son back
Joab: i don't care i will get my son back
Lilian: dont worry;if you are ready;i will give you the address
Mark: why don't you come with us?
Lilian: but i am a very busy woman
Joab: we know;please just help us out
Lilian: i will;cause every night i sleep;i always have this terrible dreams;seeing a little girl crying and a voice saying set me free;so i want to wright by wrong;i will go with you,just tell me when you are ready
Joab: thank you very much;i will go with you
Lilian: i go ahead my break is over
Joab: alright(exit Lilian)i am so happy,that i will get my son back;so so happy
Mark: hold on brother,you are happy?
if i were you;i wouldn't be
Joab: why not?for seventeen good years you long to be with your real child and now its coming true slowly;who wouldn't be?
Mark: yes;its a joyful thing but it hurt more to find out that the person you are going to confront over your child,you are also in custody of his own
Joab: how is that a problem?i will give her child to her,her child is of no use to me
Mark: she is not definitely;what if she spilled the truth of how you have been maltreating her;all the pains she went through because of you and her present situation;will you still call yourself a good father to her?what if they sue you for battery child? even if they did not do that;what if your son find out all thus rubbish and refuse to accept you?think my friend,think,don't just act without thinking(exit Mark)
Joab: Joab what have you done(curtain)
Zippor: i am really sorry(to sleeping Isabella)sorry;if i hurt you with my words(he turn to leave)
Isabella: don't you want to talk to me?are you tired of seeing my eyes?(he turned and face her)go on tell me
Zippor: i will never get tired of anything that concern you,talk more of your cat eyes,i am sorry
Isabella: don't tell me that;i should be the one telling you that;i am the one who rejected you and your love
Zippor: no you didn't;i just cross my boundaries
Isabella: no,you didn't
Zippor: that is why i want to correct my mistake
Isabella: what are you saying?please dont leave me now
Zippor: i just want to give you the live you deserve
Isabella: i don't understand
Zippor: yes;i want to protect you and give you all the things mother have deprive you have
Isabella: what are you saying?
Zippor: don't you want to know your root?your parent?if you have sibling?
Isabella: i don't want to;they rejected me;than why should i look for them?is their lost not mine
Zippor:they didn't do it intentionally
Isabella: Zippor;i stop loving;i stop caring;i stopped hoping;i stopped believing;i stopped having faith because this things are dreams and dreams never come true,all this means i have stop dreaming. i have given up on everything because nothing is worth the stress
Zippor: but why would you do that?
Isabella: of what benefit is it to me?i carried out all those things i mentioned on dad but what did i get?pains;sorrow;hurtful words from the man;i called dad. do you think is easy? i wouldn't blame him but my real parent who gave me up and for what?a male child. i am of no use to them;then why should i be of use to your dad?
Zippor: Isabella
Isabella: no;don't stop me;just let me say what is on my mind. for all the people in my life;you are the only one;who never gave up on me;when i cried you are there;when i am in worse condition;you are here;you are enough for me;even if you think my biological parents will bring happiness to me;is all lies because my happiness lie with you(tears roll her eyes)because you are more than ten siblings;ten dad and hundred mother(enter Doctor)
Zippor: doctor how is she?
Doctor: she is okay;you can go home
Zippor: thank you very much
Doctor: alright(exit Doctor)
Zippor: do you hear that?we can go home now
Isabella: i don't want to go to that house
Zippor: don't worry;we are not going there;i have rented an apartment for the both of us and i have also registered you in a school,you can go back to school again. thank God the baby is not alive(tears roll her eyes) i am sorry;i really do not mean to remind you
Isabella: is alright
Zippor: i am sure you will get through it
Isabella: that is nonsense,i am happy,really happy(she hugged him)i love you
Zippor: love you too;let me go and settle the bills,so we can go home
Isabella: there is no need for that. the doctor said,'we should go without paying because of what happen
Zippor: oh;i am really sorry;i will try as much as possible this time to make sure you are save,even if i have to be your bodyguard(she laughed)that is if you don't mind
Isabella: you are funny;of cause(curtain)


Joab: Zippor;Isabella
Lola: dad they are not here
Joab: what do you mean they are not here?i went to the hospital but the doctor said she had been discharge her
Katherina: yes,that is it but she is not here(he walked to Zippor's room and find nothing)dad;what are you looking for?
Joab: where is Zippor's thing?
Lola: he left
Joab: to where?
Katherina: he came to pack his things last night;you didn't come home;he left a note for you(he handle him the note)
Joab: (he read)dear dad;i don't know if i should still continued calling you dad but i don't want to sound disrespectful my calling you,your name. during my early life;i could tell everyone i want to become like you because you were the perfect father,every child could have;i could proudly point at you as my dad. i was happy that you are my dad,you thought me,that i should love with all my heart,especially those i am related to and you also said,'that one do not become part of your family because you are related to them by blood or because you gave life to them. but because have really acted the way a family does' but the passed years;if there is anything that is worse than the devil,i would had used it to personify you but then i just can't find any(tears roll his eyes)you hurt Isabella because she is not your daughter but she loved and cared for you. the love she had for you;i don't think anyone of us your biological children have it but then,you hurt her,that is not enough,you show every time that you really do not care and for what?for saving your life?is that how you tell someone thank you?every bad things that happen to her is all because of you;she got raped;got pregnant;lost her baby and now she can't give birth when she get married;all thanks to you,even if i decided to right all your evil deeds,all my life,i will never be able to complete them. i have decided to leave with he,so she wouldn't be a burden to you anymore and please don't try looking for us,there is really no need saying that because i know you never really love me but all i asked from you is that you take care of my two sister and please me a good father to them,show them all the love that you couldn't give to me and Isabella. goodbye father;i wish i have the choice of choosing a father i would had done so. no oh
Katherina: father;are you alright?
Joab: yes i am fine(he ran out)
Lola: what is wrong with dad?
Katherina: i don't know(curtain)





to be continue


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Who love me most (season 2)episode 1

Episodes:

Sex & Shopping have one thing in common: In both the cases, men start sweating in 15 minutes & women want to go on and on

and on and on!Related

MARA episode 15 [Read it]


The whole house looked forsaken and abandoned!
The kitchen had plates that flies perched on because of their filth!
My room had different clothes littered on the floor.
I felt nauseous immediately!
Just for the one month that I was away!
…and everything had already changed this much.
My children looked unkempt- all of them!
“They are still kids o…so, you can’t expect them to keep the house the way you would have done” my doctor said as if she could read my mind
I couldn’t feign laughter
I was mad!
“But this isn’t nice at all” I said as I surveyed the children
“Taiwo and Kehinde, you couldn’t even take care of your young ones? You couldn’t bath them? See how diseased you all look!” I almost wept
“There was no soap. The detergent we were using finished” Taiwo said
“Detergent?” the doctor asked, quite surprised.
“It is also good on the body o. it’s just like medicated soap” I tried to cover up our pauper lifestyles
“I don’t like that at all. These detergents are not good on the skin o. They sometimes eat into our skin. You couldn’t have asked me for soap when you visited the hospital” the doctor said and I looked down in shame.
I had to save the situation again.
“Kehinde, come here” I called at my daughter who looked so weird and withdrawn
She staggered as if she was drunk and fell to the ground before me.
I jumped back as the doctor rush to bring her up
“What is wrong with you?” I asked but there was no response from the girl
“Talk to me….somebody talk to me. When did Kehinde become paralysed? Kehinde!” I exclaimed as I turned back to be sure a cushion was behind me.
I sunk into one and looked on.
“Taiwo, Tola…somebody talk to me..” I pleaded, very weakly
“Mummy, Sister Kehinde yaf pregnant” James said and there was silence
…as if everyone in the house except me knew about this except me!
I blinked as if my life depended on it.
“Kehinde, pregnant…how? Doctor, you know about it? Please talk to me somebody. Someone should tell me it’s not true.” I was almost crying
My heart couldn’t just accept the bad news.
None of my children I ever have such thought towards in my entire life
Teenage pregnancy?… ah ah!
“Take it easy Mrs. Olowo” I heard the doctor say and I looked at her, so lost in thoughts
“You know about it?” I asked in a very loud voice
The doctor looked at me and smiled lightly
“I couldn’t tell you anything because of your health condition but thank God you are hale and hearty now” she spoke on and I couldn’t but watch on in silence.
My heart was racing so fast.
As she explained to me the ordeals of my daughter’s pregnancy, the abortion and the brutal method used, the bond that existed between one Haruna and my daughter, I couldn’t believe my ears.
I pinched myself, slapped myself, and slapped my tongue against the roof of my mouth severally so I would be startled back to reality
… But it was the truth!
The bitter cola!
I slid from the chair on which I had sat to the cemented floor and wept like a virgin widow who had lost her husband to ‘Magun’ before he could even touch her.
My girl was just fifteen years old for God’s sake!
What did she know about sex?
What did she know about abortion?
Abortion with hanger… Chai!
Iron hanger for that matter!
My body flinched severally that I couldn’t control it.
“Who did I offend in my past life? Exactly who did I offend that is afflicting me like this? Afflicting my children too? Ahhhh…Jesu oooo!” I wailed on, slapping my laps as my hands gathered momentum.
I looked at the Kehinde under my teary eyes and she was so pitiable.
Her collarbone was visible and she looked hungry- weak and uncared for.
“Kehinde” I called out to her. The doctor still held her lovingly as she sat on the floor with her. Her hands on her shoulders
I didn’t know if I should be harsh, or calm according to the Doctor’s prescription or angry, or wounded or disappointed.
I didn’t just know how to act at all.
“Ma” she answered faintly, her head shaking on top of her neck as if it was so light like paper.
“What happened?” I asked, fixing my eyes on my daughter- my filthy daughter!
“I ron’t doh” I heard her say, her eyes half shut.
I sat straight and looked at the doctor.
“Doctor, what’s wrong with her? Her tongue is tied? Please check for me” I was so scared.
When did she start pronouncing don’t as ron’t and know as ‘doh’.
I stood up immediately and went close to her side.
Her eyes were contracting and her tongue was tied.
The doctor stood up to the situation and laid her down on the floor.
“Get me a pillow please” she said and Taiwo rushed inside for one.
The doctor used it support her head.
“Kehinde…Omokehinde” I called out as I pulled at her hand.
The doctor pulled out her stethoscope as my girl started making croaky voice from her throat.
I was scared.
“Don’t die please. Kenny, please don’t di…” I was still saying when she dropped her hand suddenly and her tongue wagged out to the side of her mouth.
“Mummy…to…lli” she seemed to say what I decoded as ‘sorry’ and she closed her eyes in death.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Say Baba remix [Read it]


When u mistakenly shout "Say Baba" at the petrol queue.
You can try it if u doubt it.







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-13 07:30:07

3199 Views



My China Phone [Read it]


My Blackberry don chop my money tire, na him I come vex yestaday sell am, come take some money buy China phone! Now am in bigger trouble!!!
1. E go full after 3 minutes of charging.
2. The phone get TV, Touch screen, Nailcutter, Firelighter etc.
3. I fit write Text message with a toothpick sef.
4. The spelling get mistakes e.g NokLa, blackderry, i-pon, samswag etc.
5. When aeroplane pass e go record"One missed Call".
6. When a big car horn; e go show"Charger connected"
7. When Chinese man pass e go show:"One Bluetooth device found"
8. When fine lady waka pass, e go show "WiFi On"
9. When ugly lady waka pass, e go show, "Virus detected"
Abeg I wan sell am! Who wan buy ooo?Even as I dey find buyer, e dey show me for screen say "No contact found" lmao!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-11 17:46:14

138 Views








The following conversation ensued between Akpos and Emeka at Emeka’s father’s burial ceremony:

Akpos: Emeka, I have not been served food yet.

Emeka: Don’t worry Akpos, you will be served soon

An hour later, Akpos stood up angrily to take his leave

Emeka: Why are you leaving so soon Akpos?

Akpos: I’ve been waiting here for over an hour and yet you didn’t serve me food. Don’t worry, you’ll also come to my father’s burial.




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-15 22:06:18

208 Views



Wrong number [Read it]


Hello, this is Daddy, is Mummy there?
The voice on the other end answered, No
Daddy, she is upstairs, in the bedroom, with
Uncle Roger.
The caller said, But my Daughter, you don't
have any Uncle called Roger.
The Little Girl said, I have, he is upstairs, in the
bedroom, with Mummy right now.
The Man said, Okay, uh, this is what i want
you to do. Put the phone down on the table,
run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door,
and tell Mummy that Daddy's car has just
arrived at the gate.
Okay Daddy, just a minute. The Little Girl
replied.
A while later, she came back to the phone,
and said, Daddy, I've done it.
What happened? He asked.
The Little Girl replied, Mummy got scared and
jumped out of the bed Unclad. She ran round
the room screaming, tripped over and
knocked her head on the staircase. Now, she
is no longer moving.
The Man asked, What about Uncle Roger?
The Little Girl replied, Uncle Roger jumped out
through the window into the swimming
pool, is like he didn't know that you had
removed the water last week.
The Man screamed, But we don't have a
swimming pool o. Is this 0-8-0-3-4-5-2-7
-4-9-9?
The Little Girl replied, No, this is
0-8-0-3-4-5-2-7 -4-8-9
The Man said, Wrong number! And cuts the
call.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-15 19:07:02

1429 Views




Biola: what make you think I still love you
Me: Am not thinking…I know cos I you
don’t, you wont
call me today…I know you have been indoor
since
morning thinking about where I am today,
thinking
about how you wish its us doing our
marriage today,
you had to call me when your mind
couldn’t take it
again just to find out if am alright and if
everytyn went
as planned. You still love and care so much
about me
Biola
Biola: Uhmmmmm………………..Dont be too
sure snakie
Me: am very sure of that
Biola: And I wont argue it with you
Me: Can you do me a favour Biola? Just
one last thing
and I will never ask for anytyn again from
you
Biola: Whats it, if its within my capacity,
you know I will
do
Me: Can yo give me the opportunity to see
you again,if
its just once evn if its can be tonight
Biola: That will be a little bit hard oooo
Me: Why Biola..please now
Biola: It will be hard cos I don’t know where
I will tell
my boyfriend am going ooo
Me: You now have a boyfriend…
Biola: What do you expect? You now have
a wife too
now..
Me: Ohk ooo…please can you do me the
favour
Biola: If only you can make it tonight as his
not yet
back home, this is past 8 and he will be
back anytime
from 9pm….Only if you can make it before
8:30,I can
spare you like 10-15mins
Me: No problem dear..i can make it, where
will I see
you
Biola: Same place we met the last time at
7&8…I will
be waiting for you there by 8:30 and if I
didn’t see you
within 10mins, I will be gone.
Me: No problem dear..i will make it.
I was somewhere around Mushin when she
called me, I
immediately find my route to isolo and
follow through
Osolo Way as I believe that was the easiest
way to
connect to the place. I got there at around
8:35pm and
instead of Biola being inside, she was at
the car park
waiting. I sighted her putting on a brown
gown, just an
inch below the knee, with a slippers and
her hair do
suggest that it was not a plan outing, I
parked beside
her, came down of the car and hugged her
and she
responded by hugging me back.
Me: Why are you waiting outside
Biola: I was inside before but am not
feeling the place
so I decided to stay outside, moreover I
don’t have
much time to spend like I told you, I have
to be at
home before 9pm
Me: Does that mean you stay around here
now?
Biola: Sort of……
Me: And am very hungry ooooo
Biola: hey yah…I understand, you can go in
and get
something now or you don’t eat outside
now
Me: So can we just sit in the car instead of
hanging
here…
Biola: Ok..no problem
We both entered the car but instead of
staying at that
spot, I decided to move forward to the next
junction by
the right and entered one street there. That
was on her
instruction; the street was a bit dark and
silent as no
much people passing by there, I put off the
inner light
of the carbas we started discussing
Me: Thanks for giving me this chance Biola,
I so much
appreciate it
Biola: You welcome oko iyawo……
congratulations
Me: Thanks Ma…
Biola: So, how did it go? It was because of
the gist I
had to see you oooo cos I want to know
how everytyn
went
Me: Gist indeed and you said you don’t
care again
Biola: Does gisting means I still care?
Me: Its just normal…dint spend much time
there..just a
formalities…like 5-6hrs we spent there
Biola: so, when is the proper wedding
coming up?
Me: Which proper wedding…we don finnish
everytyn
now
Biola: Finish everytyn ke? Na iyawo sara
(free wife)
dem give you ni
Me: You no how everytyn come to be now…
so I don’t
expect you to be talking like this
Biola: I don’t know ooooo
Me: enough about me cos that’s what we
have been
talking about since we started talking on
phone tonight.
How about you? How have you been, what
have you
been up to…..who is the lucky guy now
Biola: As you can see, am fine….all have
been good
and well courtesy of God
Me: And the guy?
Biola: Whats your own with the guy? Abeg
leave that
one jhoor…
Me: Is he someone I know?
Biola: Whats your own..why are you so
particular about
the guy..well its not someone you know or
have met
before
Me: Ohk ooooo…I hope he’s not treating
you so bad
like me
Biola: he’s tryng his best and have not
seen a trace of
disappointment from him
Me: What about the other aspect too…is he
trying just
like me and as Big as me
Biola: Which other aspect?
Me: You know now……
Biola: u mean big as your preek and s*x
Me: Yes of course….
Biola: you want to hear the truth?……even
though not
as big as you are, he’s not disappointing
Me: But he can never be as good as me


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Organization



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Never blame any day in ur life. Gud days gives u happiness, bad days gives u experience, worst days gives u a lesson. All r essential for life. So, njoy every day.Related
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