Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:

MAN [Read it]


Man O Man!
When without money,
eats vegetables at home;
When has money,
eats the same vegetables in a fine restaurant.

When without money, rides bicycle;
When has money rides the same ‘exercise machine’.

When without money walks to earn food
When has money, walks to burn fat;

Man O Man! Never fails to deceive thyself!

When without money,
wishes to get married;
When has money,
wishes to get divorced.

When without money,
wife becomes secretary;
When has money,
secretary becomes wife.

When without money, acts like a rich man;
When has money acts like a poor man.
Man O Man! Never can tell the simple truth!

Says share market is bad,
but keeps speculating;
Says money is evil,
but keeps accumulating.

Says high Positions are lonely,
but keeps wanting them.

Says gambling & drinking is bad, but keeps indulging;

Man O Man! Never means what he says and never says what he means..

Life is not about what
you couldn't do so far,
it's about what you can
still do.
Wait n dont ever give up..
Miracles happen every
day....

2 dollars seems too much
to give a beggar but it
seems okay when its
given as tip at a fancy
restaurant.

After a whole day of work, Hours at the gym seem alright but helping your Mother out at home
seems like a burden.

Praying to God for 3 min
takes too much time but
watching a movie for 3
hours doesn't.

Wait a whole year for
Valentine's day but we
always forget Mother's
day.

Two poor starving kids
sitting on the pavement
weren't given even a slice
of bread but a painting of
them sold for hundred dollars.



Think about It..
Make a change. Coz u can ....
Five Easy ways to earn, even after death.

1) Give a smile or gift to someone.
Each time u gift or smile, it will make someone's day.....u gain.

2) Donate a wheelchair to a hospital. Each time sick person uses it, u gain.

3) Participate in building an orphanage, hospital, school or college.
Anybody uses it, u gain.

4) Place a water cooler in a public place. Anybody drinks water, u gain.

5) Plant a tree. Whenever a person, animal sits in its shade or eats from it, u gain.




Have a nice day! #B-gof


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Rapists [Read it]


I am still laughing, read
on ……Two guys raped a
princess, and when they
were caught and sent to
the king, he ordered them
to go and bring as many fruits as they can to
bail themselves. The
first guy went and
returned with 15 mangoes.
The king ordered his
guards to insert all the mangoes into his anus so
he would feel the same
pain as the princess. The
guards did as they were
orderedand the guy
screamed and shouted in pain.After sometime,
he
stopped screaming and
shouting and started
laughing. The guards then
became surprised and
asked him why he was laughing despite all the
pains. The guy pointed to
the road and said, LOOK
AT MYFRIEND, HE IS
BRINGING 30
WATERMELONS.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-07-19 23:40:40

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Dear Dollar [Read it]


Dear Dollar,You slut…
Stop rising so much coz after 58 Government will retire you..Sincerely
Indian RupeeRelated

These are the six familiar signs to identify ugly girls:


1. An Ugly girl will tag 100 people in a picture and still get two likes on Facebook (probably from her family members).


2. Guys will feel free when talking to an ugly girl because they see you as another guy. Some will even seek your advice on how to woo (toast) another girl.


3. Whenever a group of girls want to take a group picture, they will hand over the camera to the ugliest amongst them. If you're that girl, then your friends are subtly telling you that you're ugly.


4. Whenever there are drama rehearsals in a church, they always pick the ugly girl to play the role of a witch, a vampire or a demon.


5. Most girls with sweet names on Facebook and twitter like 'mo cute', 'pink berry', 'sexydiva', 'prettydamsel', 'finest chick', etc... are usually very ugly.


6. Ugly girls wont like this post and would comment harshly because they are angry with me right now for exposing them.


You can add other signs to identify ugly girls in the comment box below...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-27 13:58:22

371 Views




Wo to aankhe thi jo keh gayi sab kuch…
….
Lafz hote to shayad mukar bhi jate…!!!Related

A abino guy walks into a bar where Akpos was working. "I need a job" says the abino guy. Akpos beat him up and threw him out of the bar.The owner of the bar then asked, "What did he say to you? Akpos responded I don't know all I heard is something about a job!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-11 09:57:11

310 Views




Ungliyaa Meri Waafa Par Naa Uthaooo Logo;

Jisko Shaq Hai Wo Mujhse Nabhakar Dekho!Related

Even if I had 1 wish… I wouldn’t wish for u to love me, coz I don’t want your love to come from a wish… but straight from your heart.Related

Governing a great nation is like cooking a small fish – too much handling will spoil it.

~ Lao TzuRelated

Urgly gal [Read it]


Two Girls were sitting at a club. One was ugly and the other one was beautiful. Akpos walked straight to the
ugly girl.
Akpos: Hello!
Ugly girl: Hi!!
Akpos: Wanna dance?
Ugly Girl: Yes (excited)
Akpos: OK, Go and dance, I wanna talk to your frien


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-31 13:50:14

432 Views



akpors [Read it]


Akpors met a man sitting outside and said if u are my father what wil be my gain he said I wil make u tastemoney on Akpors next live he was his father then his father went wit a gal akpors now told him where is my riches he then say I said testimoney not taste money akpors fainted


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-12 17:06:40

571 Views




Me: tell me how it started
Since the fish was peppery, we sat up and rested our backs against the wall. The air-conditioner was on, so he tossed me a blanket to cover my folded legs. I had earlier sent Timi a text not to come for me.
Jafar: how what started?
Me: how you joined a confraternity
Jafar: you really want me to bore you?
Me: I can’t ask you about how the thingy with Eli is going, at least I can ask you this one..
He looked at me, I looked back with an encouraging smile.
Jafar : I was approached by some guys while I was shooting pool in the permanent site, one guy and Eli, they said I should leave the snooker table for them. The friend I was with left me there, he didn’t want their problem. Eli and his friend asked me if I was mad and didn’t know I should do as I was told. I wasn’t just in the mood for rubbish that day, so once again I ignored them. After threatening me for a while, they asked me for my number, I declined. Eli gave me his and said I should call them whenever I wanted to, that I was the kind of person they were looking for. I forget about the encounter until one evening like that. There is this girl I had been seeing, a Jambito like myself. I didn’t know she was dating another guy that was a spirit-man. I was with the girl, a 200L student, when my door was forced open kicks. Five guys entered the room with sticks. They beat me black and blue that night. The girl kept apologizing to the head of the team, that I was just a guy she met at the campus. After they left with the girl, I checked myself into a hospital. Few weeks later, I tracked down the guy. I went to his house and hoped to inflict pain on him too but as I got in, I was surrounded by more guys. They beating I got the first time was nothing compared to this one..
I couldn’t help myself, I started laughing. It was the first time I laughed since Abayomi died.
Me: sorry for laughing..
Jafar laughed too, and filled my glass with more wine..
Me: please continue
Jafar: so I checked back into the hospital, but this time…I called Eli and explained everything to him. It didn’t take long before more than a dozen guys came into my ward. They were looking deadly, infront of them was Eli. He told them I would be taken care of, my bills and all. He also promised me those guys will be dealt with as soon as I got out.
Me: so when you were out of the hospital, you guys went for them?
Jafar: Oh, yes we did. And it was a cool day.
Me: you and Eli were close?
Jafar: not really, but for about 2months, he was my mentor, until he was booted out. The funny thing is that he joined the group that he had saved me from.
Me: wow…that was some story..
Jafar : you should sleep now..
Me: do you have any regrets being in a confraternity?
Jafar: truthfully?
Me : Yes
Jafar : sometimes, when people use their powers to oppress. But sometimes I am so glad. We hae perpetual cases were we help people get justice. For instance, a girl breaks u with her boyfriend, and she tells him to pay her all the money he owes her so she can write her exams, he doesn’t, he beats her instead. She reports to us, we appear at her boyfriend’s place, he pays the next week. Or a lecturer is using s-x as a medium for a pass, we visit his wife…he adjusts. Plenty cases like that. But we have bad eggs among us…plenty unfortunately.
Me: do you have a girlfriend?
Jafar: is that part of it?
Me: just answer?
Jafar: no..though I have girls..
Me : why?
Jafar: because it’s not safe for them. The easiest way to get to a guy is through his loved ones..
Me: true..
Jafar: how is Timi..?
I suppressed a giggle…the wine was working…
Me: Ijebu-ode
Jafar: good…you might need to go be with him..
Me : why?
Jafar: Eli knows you are here…Eli is coming…
Me: then let’s leave together, find a new place..
Jafar: I am the leader of my group, I remain here..
He brought out a piece of rolled bunt
Me: Tell me how many people you have killed.
Jafar : ki na son ki ji?
Me: yay! I like the way you speak hausa..
I was tipsy already..
Me: but what does that mean?
Jafar: it means “do you want to hear”?
Me: yes
Jafar: Babu..
Me: yay…”babu” means no!..i know that one..
Jafar laughed..
Jafar : you are correct..
Me : so will you tell me?
Jafar: No, a gentleman does not say those things to a lady
Me: you get sweet mouth o…chai..
Jafar : it’s time for you to sleep
Me : what if I don’t want to go tomorrow, and I want to stay here instead?
Jafar: I wouldn’t allow you..
Me : you will carry me out?
Jafar: wouldn’t need to do that, you are a lady..
Me: hehehehe, I won’t be a lady tomorrow..
I prayed God gave me the strength to control myself whenever I was high, but he didn’t
Jafar: you are more fun than I thought..
Me: so you mean to say you thought I was boring?
Jafar: not that..i just thought you would be uptight like the average daddy’s girl.
Me : so you are calling me a daddy’s girl?…goodnight young man!
Jafar: goodnight dear, you can sleep on the bed, I will crash here..
Me: you better join me on the bed..
I realized I sounded like a mad woman, he was enjoying himself…he was laughing..
Me : rotten boy, I didn’t mean it like that jor, I meant you should not sleep on the floor because of me..
Jafar : I know, its fun watching you talk lie this. I think you have been sad for a while. The wine is releasing you..
He blew out a cloud of weed, the AC converted it to a mist..
Me: I want to smoke too..
Jafar : not tonight..
Me: what if we don’t see tomorrow?
He was quiet for a while, I realized I had said another stupid thing..
Me: I didn’t mean it like that. I would just shut up and sleep..
Jafar: okay dear..
Me: you wouldn’t beg me to talk?
Jafar: not this night ma..
I climbed his bed , wen t to the edge of the left hand side and covered myself with the blanket..
He sat on the right hand side for a while, before he lay down too. There was a gulf between us.
My phone rand, I wasn’t scared, even if it was Eli, I had Jafar by my side. It was Toun.
Toun: I am home, how are you?
Me: I am fine, I am so happy you home..
Toun: thank you dear, are you in Jafar’s house or Timi’s?
Me: I am with Jafar..
Toun: Tana, you don’t love Timi anymore, you are crazy about Jafar….dont waste time and let him know. Look at me, I didn’t know I had limited time with Abayomi, I was fooling around with Naetochukwu…
Me : babe, I think you should rest…how about we talk tomorrow?
Toun : I love you Tee..thanks for everything…greet Jafar for me..
Me: love you too dear..goodnight..
Jafar was quiet at the other side of the bed, he had extinguished the blunt.
Me: Toun send’s her regards..she is home
Jafar : Ok…
He kept quiet again..i wasn’t ready to sleep yet..
Me: Oya! Lets just say one more word to each other before we sleep…I will start…”goodnight Jafar, and thank you”
Jafar: sha baki na
I didn’t know what he meant again, I didn’t care, I just loved the way he spoke hausa…I rolled to his side of the bed, held his face between my palms and kissed him..we kissed….i lay on top of him , his hands were around my waist, I s----d his lower lip gently..he s----d my upper lip, till our tongues sizzled against each other..i just wanted to eat the guy alive…d--n!such a good kisser…I should be feeling guilty as regards Timi but I wasn’t…he must have realized because he raised me up gently…and I was once again on the left side of the bed..
Jafar: Goodnight Tee
Me: Goodnight Jafar….wait…what does “sha baki na” mean?
Jafar: I thought you knew..
Me: No, I don’t…
Jafar: It means “kiss me”…
I laughed as I rolled back to the right hand side where he was…that was where I slept..
I woke up in the middle of the night, everywhere smelled good. The entire room smelt like Jafar. I was lying with my back facing him. He didn’t emit any sound as he slept. I felt so powerful right now, the almighty Jafar was sleeping with both eyes closed next to me, I could kill him if I wanted.
Jafar: you should be sleeping..
I didn’t know the guy was awake too..
Me: you too..
Jafar : Are you cold…should I put off the AC?
Me: No o…but I am cold…hold me..
He giggled and kept quiet..
I took his hand placed it around me, it rested just beneath my boobz…
Me: oya let us sleep….i wanted to feel powerful again. He didn’t answer me though.
The next time I woke up, his arm was still around me, I didn’t move…I just wanted it to be like that. I didn’t think of Abayomi, Timi or Toun, I just wanted to remain in his arms. I was fantasizing till I slept off again.
I woke up to an empty room, I checked my phone, it was 5:30am, the bed seemed bigger…I pressed my nose on the sheets, I smiled..
I saw myself as a proud person, I don’t go after guys nor even give attention to those that come after me..but with Jafar, I didn’t care if he didn’t want me, or if last night’s kiss was just a kiss…I will savor it. i would hold on to it. I noticed a text message on my phone…it was from Jafar…it read…” There is a loaf of bread in the kitchen, eggs in the fridge, oil in the cupboard…search for the rest…will come for you by 4pm, so you can go stay with Timi…Ago aint safe for you”..
Just like that my day got spoilt. So I was really going to leave? I called Timi..
Timi: baby..
Me: Timi, I would be coming to Ijebu-Ode by 5…please pick me up at the Mr Biggs, close to Gtbank.
Timi: I am happy..finally I can be with you..
Me: yeah..
Timi: you don’t sound happy, coming to see me…wait….have you slept with Jafar?
Me: no..
Timi: Thank God…I love you baby…
Me: see you soon ..
I made breakfast, bread and eggs with coffee. I packed my bags like a spoilt brat resuming boarding school…thoughts of Abayomi was forcing itself in my brain…I called Toun..
Toun: Tana…
Me: Toun, how are you?
Toun: Abayomi’s mother just called me, such a sweet woman…we cried together…
Me: it must be killing her…
Toun: she wants me to be around for his burial.
Me: will you?
Toun: I would kill anybody that stops me..
Me: I wish I could come..
Toun: are you safe there?
Me: I would be moving to Ijebu-Ode to stay with Timi..Jafar insisted.
Toun: he wants you to go?
Me: apparently..
Toun: I am sure he is gutted about it..
Me: he doesn’t show it, look the guy at most just likes me…I am contented though..
Toun: anyways, wear black of Friday…it’s the day he will be buried…
Me: thank you Toun, your strength inspires me….
Toun: strength?…i am dying inside…
Me: i am sorry,,
Toun: bye dear..
I decided to just sleep till 4pm, unfortunately..Acho chose that time to call…
Me: Acho..
Acho : Tana, how are you…how are you coping?
Me: I am good…sorry for the other time….the way the guys hit you…
Acho: no jor…that time has passed..i just want you to know if you need me…I will be here…I still love you..
Me: thank you…
Acho: lets hang out this…
I hung up…
I was awoken by soft taps, it was Jafar…he was smiling at me like I was his favorite daughter…
Me: oh, you are back..
Jafar: yes…
Me: is it 4pm yet?
Jafar: it is 5pm…
Me: d--n!..Timi would be waiting for me…
Jafar: lets go….have you packed your bags?
Me: since na…
I didn’t want him to know I was crying inside…
Jafar: I will miss you…
Me: blablabla…
He helped me with some of my bags, I carried the rest…I was sad.
To be continued


>>

Me:ur back
Gerald:yeah
Me:where did u spend the night?
Gerald:u got a problem?
Me:i was hell worried
Gerald:wat do u care about?
Medisappointed)nothing
Ciliaga welcome
Gerald:thanx cilia
***
Me:ur goin out?
Gerald:yes inspector Elfie
Me:Niky..Niky is back
Gerald:really?
Me:she droped by last night
Gerald:gotta got,catcha
Wat am i stil doin in this house,a marriage without love,respect,peace,happiness.
Me:Cilia give me that card
Ciliak dahve card
Me:yes
Cilia:ah wetin u want carryam do
Me:non of ur business
Ciliaya see the card
Me:thanx
*(on the phone)*
David:helo
Me:hi
Davidavid Miles,who is on the line
Me:it's it's it's Elfie
David:pardon
Me:the lady on a wheel-chair
Davidh how u doin
Me:doin great
David:i've been expectin ur call
Me:pls am bored at home
David:really?
Me:can we meet?
David:sure
Me:meet me at green land hotel
Davidk i'll call for preservation
Me:by 7pm
Davidk i'll be there
Me:thanx
David:ur welcome
Cilia:make i go baff
Me:baff?
Cilia:i go folo u go
Meh u mean bath..
TBC...

>>

Dada Kondke Made A Movie



“Roz Meri Maarlo”



Censor Board Objected.



Dada Told Censor Board, “Ye 3 Ladkiyo Ki Kahani Hai… Rose, Mary & Maarlo..!”



Board Asked To Change The Sequence.



Dada Happily Agreed & Told The Censor Board, “You Can Put Their Names In Any Sequence…!!”



( U Can Also Try It !!!)



Keep Trying…Related

 A girl was passing by and saw her boyfriend, Akpos standing by the ATM. 


She immediately hid and sent a romantic text to him, "Honey if you are sleeping right now, send me your dreams. If
you are laughing, send me your laughter. If you are eating, send me some food. If you are crying, send me your tears. If you are withdrawing from the ATM, send me some money."


Akpos replies, "I'm in the toilet what should I send?" 




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-29 15:54:33

319 Views




Only by joy and sorrow does a person know anything about themselves and their destiny. They learn what to do and what to avoid.Related

Desmond: i don't;she is in love with my brother Tunde
Jackson: stare at me in the face and tell me,you don't love her
Desmond: please,excuse me;i don't want to talk about her
Jackson: you don't want to talk about her or you don't want to talk about your feelings for her?
Desmond: does it make any difference?i love her,she is in love with someone else or i love her;mom doesn't like her,i love her and i have a betroth that i have to get married to,tell me,dad was the difference?nothing,so i don't love her
Jackson: son
Desmond: dad;please stop,i don't want to talk about her again
Jackson: alright;i will excuse you
Desmond: thanks dad(exit Jackson)Stephie;i pray wherever you are now,God should take good care of you and keep you save for me and blind the eyes of those boys that will want to take advantage of you and wherever you are now there is no Tina;Gina and my mom to make life miserable for you and i hope you will be happy when you and Tunde end up together;thank you God and i love you Stephie(curtain)
Stephanie: oh God!i wish that Desmond was here to tell me is alright but he is not,wherever he is,dear God take care of him and keep him save for me and change the mind of those who see him has worthless bot and give him the strength to manage his problem,so that he can stop crying. i also wish the best for you and Georgina or Tina. thank you God for hearing my prayers;i love you God
Monalisa: who did you love
Stephanie: i said i love God and have you been standing there for long?
Monalisa: yes

Stephanie: did you hear anything?
Monalisa: yes;I did heard that God should take care of someone and people should stop calling him worthless boy. am i right?
Stephanie: yes
Monalisa: so who are you saying all these things about;is it Desmond?
Stephanie: yes
Monalisa: hmm;my baby is in love
Stephanie: what?big sister
Monalisa: big sister
Stephanie: sorry mom
Monalisa: good;lets go but when we come back you will answer my question
Stephanie: alright(curtain)

Frank: Jackson;aren't you going for the board meeting?
Jackson: i don't feel like
Frank: why?is there something boring you?
Jackson: is just that my son is been acting strange
Frank: are you suspecting that he is into bad gang
Jackson: no;is not that
Frank: i would had disagree with you
Jackson: is like he is in love
Frank: then is a good thing;then let him get married to her(Jackson laughed)
Jackson: will you be serious for once?
Frank: am serious;at least i made you laughed. so was he the one that told you,'he is in love?
Jackson: no;he didn't
Frank: then how did you know
Jackson: he is my son;I realise he is in love with a girl in his school when that same girl said he is in love with his cousin Tunde;my brother's son that was when he started acting that way
Frank: i was even thinking that its his betroth;he is in love with
Jackson: if it is her,it would had been better
Frank: so why did she tell him that?
Jackson: both of then are friends. Stephanie is close to my son
Frank: is that her name?and when since your son start keeping female friends?
Jackson: yes;they both pretended to be lovers that is where their friendship started
Frank: this kids they will kill someone,they keep coming out with one ideal after another
Jackson: can you imagine
Frank: now what they had that was just a prank has turn into love. what do you do?
Jackson: i don't know;if i have ideal i won't be this worried
Frank: why don't you discuss it with him
Jackson: he doesn't want to talk about it
Frank: maybe he is scared to admit it to you
Jackson: i know he is thinking of his mom and Gina
Frank: aren't you also going to castigate him for leaving his betroth?
Jackson: i am not because i know how it feels to be in love with someone and get married to someone else
Frank: i understand you
Jackson: you know better from my story
Frank: but you two are living happily with three lovely kids
Jackson: i know but what my dad did to me back then was painful;he would have easily betroth her to my elder brothers but he choose me
Frank: you know that;why did you allow it for you son?
Jackson: at first i did not but she kept insisting,so i give in since both of them are friends but i don't know why my so couldn't fall in love with her
Frank: your son hate proud people and that girl is;i know right from the first day i saw her
Jackson: maybe but i still need a solution
Frank: i have an ideal;why don't you tell your mom
Jackson: thank you i haven't thought of that;you see why dey say two head is better than one
Frank: naught you;lets go for the meeting now
Jackson: alright;after you
Frank: alright(curtain)

Beauty: Desmond;your grandmother want to talk to you
Desmond: why didn't she call my number?why call me on landline?
Beauty: i don't know or maybe she has been trying your line but is not going through
Desmond: how did she know am in town?
Beauty: i can't tell
Desmond: just go ahead. i go get it
Beauty: alright
Desmond: hello grandma
Janet: hello my son;how are you
Desmond: am fine grandma;how are you doing?
Janet: i am still surviving even though you forgotten about me
Desmond: that is not true grandma;i missed you so much but don't worry i am coming to stay with you
Janet: are you done with your studied
Desmond: i just missed you;i am tired of this country and i missed your love
Janet: talking about love;son are you in love
Desmond: grandma
Janet: go on tell me son
Desmond: when you have someone in your life that you want to get married to that automatically means you are in love
Janet: no marriage is different from love;there are some people who get married to people they don't love but one can not false himself to be with the one he doesn't love and that is while most people refer to love as friendship
Desmond: so does it mean anyone you make friend with you will fall in love with that person?
Janet: no;not all your friends have equal space in your heart just as not all ones kids a mother love equally,no matter how impartial a woman is;she can not love all her kids equally,their some she loves more just like our friends;among them,there is a particular one you always want to be with;when him or her is not there you feel like something is missing about you;like you want to drop down and die;you can't stand them been angry at for so long and when one begin to feel these ways towards a particular friend that is the opposite sex that means that one is in love with that friend
Desmond: does it mean is not a crime to fall in love with ones friend?
Janet: not at all;so tell me are you in love with one of your friend?
Desmond: not again grandma
Janet: don't be shy,go on and tell me
Desmond: alright fine;am in love with.....uh.....
Janet: come on
Desmond: promise me;you wouldn't tell anyone,not even dad
Janet: i promise. so
Desmond: am in love with Stephanie my friend
Janet: what?
Desmond: i don't know grandma how i started bottling those feelings for her. i really don't know
Janet: what did you intent to do?
Desmond: nothing;the truth is that; i will just pray for God to let those feelings pass away away
Janet: why?
Desmond: grandma;is not as easy as you think;first there is my mom;secondly there is Gina my betroth and you know mom is going to kill me if she finds out and the most pain she is in love with someone else
Janet: who?
Desmond: she is in love with Tunde your grandson
Janet: oh my God
Desmond: grandma;don't worry about me,i can handle it. with time those feelings will fade away
Janet: are you sure
Desmond: yes
Janet: alright but please am begging you do not neglect your studies and try as much as possible not to be too grumpy
Desmond: alright i know
Janet: take care of yourself;be a good boy and i have a surprise for you
Desmond: what is that?
Janet: don't worry you will see it
Desmond: alright;bye
Janet: bye
Jackson: son
Desmond: dad;have you been listening to my conversation?
Jackson: not really but i just can't help but listen
Desmond: that is bad;you are eavesdropping on my conversation
Jackson: i know but i have to because you refuse to talk to me and i am worried about you
Desmond: fine
Jackson: son why did you do that?
Desmond: why asked?you have heard it all already
Jackson: why don't you want to discuss it with me?i could help you
Desmond: what is the need of asking?do you want to castigate me also?
Jackson: so why did you do that?
Desmond: why did i do what?do i have power over my feels that i have to tell you;why i fall in love?
Jackson: not that;why don't you want to talk about your problem with me(enter Rose)
Desmond: i don't have any problem
Rose: what is going on here
Desmond: excuse me
Rose: young man;are you walking out on me?
Desmond: i am not;welcome mom
Rose: whatever and when are you leaving for school

Jackson: woman;will you stop
Rose: was my crime
Jackson: why would you ask your son;when he is leaving,
Desmond: is alright;am leaving on Monday
Jackson: why are you leaving?is it because of your mom?
Desmond: dad;please you two should give me a break (exit)
Rose: i don't like the way you talk to me in front of our son
Jackson: your son?i hope when he did something that is bad,he will still be your son(exit)
Rose: and who said he is my son now(curtain)

Tina: oh my God!what a lovely day,its feel so good to be in school again. Tosan;do you know that i missed this house big time
Tosan: i do also
Ann: i know you are happy that you are back. so what is the new gist?
Tina: new gist?nothing. is just same old story
Anita: tell us;are you into another relationship
Tina: what?no at all. i just want to be single
Tosan: leave this bad girl;single with Tunde
Ann: what do you mean single with Tunde?
Tosan: what i meant is that both of them are back together
Anita: what?how come?
Ann: what do you mean by what?how come?


SEE MORE....



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Santa: `Stop it! Stop it! Why are you beating the feet of the cows like that and making them jump up and down?

Banta: I am trying to make a milk shake.`Related

OKON: Hi, cousin, I learnt that you
are no longer
free, that you now work at the
bakery.
AKPOS: Yes yes!
OKON: Ah! And you have never
brought me some
bread?
AKPOS: Your sister who works at
the airport, has
she ever brought an Airplane to
the house? Even
you who works at the mortuary,
how many times
have you brought a corpse to the
house?



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-02 00:23:09

1919 Views




A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to their separate beds. However the man was not yet ready to slumber.

The man called over to his wife, “My little boopey-boo, I`m lonely.”

So the woman gets out of bed and crosses her room to the husband. On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face.

The husband with a concerned look on his face says, “Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?”

The woman gets up and enters the man`s bed. The two have passionate sex and afterwards the women rolls out. As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face.

The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, “Clumsy bitch.”Related

TIME TO LAUGH [Read it]


Wife: honey can you please help me
cleaning the garden.
.
Husband: do I look like a gardener?
.
Wife: Ooh sorry honey, OK then fix the bathroom door.
.
Husband: do I look like a carpenter?... *Then husband walks out,
after coming back from were he went, he found the garden
cleaned and the door fixed.
.
Husband: I knew my wife will do this all by
herself....!
.
Wife: no its not me.
.
Husband: who then!
.
Wife: John our neighbor
.
Husband: you paid him how much?
Wife: No, he just gave two options, bread or
sex....
.
Husband: I hope you gave him bread
.
Wife: do I look like a bakery?!!!



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-26 12:49:51

455 Views



Safe cracker [Read it]


The local bank near a large prison had a problem opening their safe one day. Seems that the mechanisms working the combination failed, so they called the prison to seek help.
The prison had a convicted safe cracker in custody. They released him under guard and took him to the bank to see if he could open their safe.
The convict worked on the lock for quite a while but finally he was able to open the safe.
The bank president was delighted to see his safe opened without having to have it ruined in the process, he turned to the safe cracker and said, “Thanks for helping us out here, how much do we owe you?”
The safe cracker replied, “Well the last time I did one of these jobs I got about $100,000!”Related

Akpos enters a church n finds the
priest."How may I help you son?" asks the
priest.
"Am looking for my wife, she said she
would be here but as I can see she's not
around. Now that am here, I would like to
confess".
They go to the confession area,"forgive me
father for I have sinned."
"What are your sins my son?" The man
replies, "The other day, I went looking for
my wife at her home but she was not there.
I found her sister alone, I slept with the
sister."
Oh, that is sin, but at least you came to
confess".
"Then another day I went looking for her at
her aunt's place but she was not there, I
found her cousin alone, I slept with the
cousin".
"You know that is wrong my son".
"Then the other day I went looking for her
at her working place. She was not there, I
found her colleague alone,.."
The priest interrupts, "Let me guess, you
slept with her colleague?"
"Yes father". There was silence after that.
Father?" Father?" Still silent.
Akpos peeps through and finds out that
the priest is no longer there . He looks for
him and finds him hiding."Why are you
hiding father?"
The priest replies, "I've just realized I'm the
only one here and you came looking for
your wife"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-04 00:19:34

135 Views




If you do nothing unexpected, nothing unexpected happens.

~ Fay WeldonRelated

Did you miss the Previous Episode?

Click the link below To Read Episode 1

When a conductor gets a promotion, he becomes a DRIVER, when a teacher gets a promotion, he becomes a HEAD TEACHER, when a
house girl gets a promotion, she becomes-----?? I am asking because if in case you
want to promote your house girl.. I don't no the
position you will give her..


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-17 09:17:53

127 Views




Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in Maine, I was stopped by a state trooper in New York for exceeding the speed limit.Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, I gave him a small bag of my grandmother’s delicious chocolate-chip cookies and proceeded on my way.A short time later, I was stopped by another trooper.“What have I done?” I asked.“Nothing,” the trooper said, smiling. “I heard you were passing out great chocolate-chip cookies.”Related

Akpos was in the back of his Hummer jeap on his
way home when he saw a man eating grass by the
roadside.
He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to
investigate.
“Why are you eating grass?”he asked the man.
“I don’t have any money for food,”the poor man
replied.
“Oh, please come to my house!”
“But sir, I have a wife and seven children…”
“Bring them along!” Akpos said.
They all climbed into the Hummer. As they were
going, the poor fellow said: “Sir, you are too kind.
Thank you for taking all of us in.”
Akpos replied, “No, you don’t understand. The
grass at my house is over 4 feet tall it will be enough
for all of your family members


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-31 23:08:16

538 Views




Unki Mohabbat Ke Abhi Nishan Baki Hain;

Naam Lab Par Hai Aur Jaan Baki Hai;

Kya Hua Agar Dekh Kar Munh Pher Lete Hain;

Yeh Tasalli To Hai Ki Unhein Hamari Pehchan Baki Hai!Related

Ab Toh Gham Sehne Ki Aadat SiHo Gayi Hai,

Raat Ko Chhup – Chhup Rone KiAadat Si Ho Gayi Hai,

Tu Bewafa Hai…..Khel Mere Dil Se Jee Bhar Ke,

Humein Toh Ab Chot Khaane Ki Aadat Si Ho Gayi Hai…Related

Height of addiction:

In a college form, when asked about “PERMANENT ADDRESS”, a student wrote “www.facebook.com”!Related

Obedient: i am sorry;i wasn't able to get your clothes from the laundry
Obed: is okay(he walked away)
Ada: hey brother;what happen to your face
Obedient: you got into a fight;right?
Obed: i did not;asked your mannerless brother Zuriel
Alice: don't tell me that boy did this to you
Obed: mom;please i am not in the mood(exit Obed)
Alice: if you say so(exit Alice)
Ada: could it be because of Isabella;that they both fought?
Obedient: i am sure;i told him to take his eyes off her;whatever;he got from it;it's his business,excuse me
Ada: what is wrong with both if them?
Lola: brother is there any hope?
Zippor: no;i can't find her;she is not in the studio and no one seems to have seen her,where is Katherina?
Lola: she went to Susan's apartment to look for her;oh here she comes,welcome back
Katherina: thank you
Lola: is she there
Katherina: she said she haven't seen her,since then
Zippor: where could she be?
Lola: i thought you two said she had a friend called....
Zippor: Zuriel;yes Zuriel,that is the only friend she really has,i will just go and look for him
Katherina: why look for him?why not call him?
Zippor: i don't have his number;i lost his number with my phone
Lola: oh no
Zippor: don't worry;i can always get it
Lola: alright;come and eat
Zippor: i am not hungry(exit Zippor)
Katherina: i wish everything will go back to normal
Lola: i wish so too(curtain)
Ada: how are you?
Isabella: i am fine
Ada: are you sure?(enter Obedient)Obedient;what are you doing here
Obedient: mom said,'you should go to her tailor and get her things'
Ada: alright;i will just take my bath
Obedient: okay
Isabella: can i come with you?
Ada: of cause;you can just get ready
Isabella: i am set already
Ada: alright;shall we?where is MR Okon
Zuriel: he is not available;mom said,'i should take you'
Ada: alright;Isabella
Isabella: sorry;i don't feel like
Ada: why?
Isabella: nothing;just go ahead
Zuriel: lets go Ada(driving)
Ada: what is going on between you two?
Zuriel: nothing
Ada: are you sure
Zuriel: of cause
Ada: if you say so,then what happen between you and Obed?
Zuriel: Obed,is been rough with her
Ada: i don't get you
Zuriel: what don't you get?i don't know if it is Obed that is forcing himself on her
Ada: you are still not making sense
Zuriel: alright fine;i saw both of them standing so close;so....(he pause)
Ada: you got suspicious and you hit him and abused her
Zuriel: sort of;and she is mad at me because i called her a flirt and cheap
Ada: Zuriel;you are always too temperamental,why wouldnt she get angry?after insulting her;i am coming;let me get the clothes fast,so we can go(left and returned with the clothes) i am back
Zuriel: alright;what do you think i should do?
Ada: go apologies to her and Obed
Zuriel: alright;i will
Ada: that's good

Alice: young lady,go wash up the dishes
Isabella: that is already done ma
Alice:then go cut the grass
Isabella: alright(few minutes later)how can i be cutting grass at this time of the day;am tired let me rest a little
Alice: you are sitting down;you are very foolish
Isabella: i am sorry ma(she hit her with the cutlass)please ma(she continue)
Zeal: woman did you want to kill her(he dragged the cutlass from her)what has she done to deserve thus?are you that evil?
Alice: she will leave this house today
Zeal: this is not your house;this is mine;not yours;if you don't stay with her;then quit;go away
Alice: no problem(she walked away)
Zeal: are you hurt?
Isabella: no sir;thank you very much sir
Zeal: is alright;go inside(curtain)
Zuriel: Obed
Obed: what is it?
Zuriel: i am sorry;for what i did
Obed: is okay i understand
Zuriel: does it mean you forgiven me?
Obed: of cause;you are my brother
Zuriel: thanks man
Obed: i might have forgiven you but she is still mad at you
Zuriel: i know;i will go talk to her(phone ringing)please excuse me;let me take this
Obed: alright
Zuriel: hello;who am i talking with?
Zippor: its Zippor;Isabella's brother,i am sorry for bothering you;do you by chance see....
Zuriel: yes;she is with me
Zippor: oh thanks goodness;can i talk to her please

Zuriel: she is not here;i will tell her
Zippor: please;tell her that i am back;she can come home now;better still tell her i will come get her
Zuriel: how is it possible?
Zippor: please;i beg of you;text me your address;so i cant get her
Zuriel: fine;i will
Zippor: thank you very much;may God bless you for your kindness,tell her i love her
Zuriel: alright;bye(he end the call)
Obed: who was that?
Zuriel: is Zippor,Isabella's brother
Obed: whoa! is he back?
Zuriel: it seems so(enter Isabella)how are you?
Isabella: Obed;can i get your phone;i want to try my brother's number;if it will go through
Obed: why?are you tired of us?
Isabella: no;i just want to leave
Zuriel: there is no need for that
Isabella: i am not talking to you
Zuriel: Zippor called
Isabella: really?what did he say?
Zuriel: will you forgive me;if i tell you what he said?
Isabella: depending on what he said
Zuriel: he said,'he will come pick you;that he is back and that i should sent him my address and that...
Isabella: he love me
Zuriel: yes(she hugged him)thank you very much;i have to pack my bags; already(exit Isabella)
Obed: funny girl
Zuriel: really funny
Obed: are you not going to apologies to her?
Zuriel: i want to but how can i do that when she is leaving
Obed: are you not happy that she is leaving?
Zuriel: of cause;i am because she will be save from mom's troubles
Obed: you right(enter Melisa)your mom is here
Zuriel: mother what are you doing here
Melisa: i came to see you
Zuriel: but why?
Melisa: what did you mean why?(enter Isabella)oh she is the reason why you are asking me question
Zuriel: mother(she pull the girl to the floor and hit her) stop it mom
Melisa: let me be;i told you stay away from my son but you wouldn't listen;you kept forcing yourself on him and for what?(she kicked her)
Isabella: please ma;i am not dating your son;just don't have anywhere to go to
Melisa: what?you are leaving this house this moment(she dragged her on the floor)you little prostitute
Zuriel: mom;stop it you are hurting her(enter Ada/Alice)
Melisa: i will not;just stay away from this(enter Zeal)
Zeal: woman let go of her
Melisa: i wouldn't;let her leave my house
Zeal: you are funny;this is my house and i decide who stay and who leave;i my decision is that she stay and that is final(she continued hit her)stop it(he pushed her)get out of my house
Melisa: i should leave your house
Zeal: dont patronize me(he walked away)
Melisa: you see what you are doing to my family?my husband as never raised his hand at me but you just made him(she slapped her)
Zuriel: mother you are a monster;a big demon(Isabella ran out)
Melisa: you called me a monster?
Zuriel: yes mom;you are bad(exit)
Melisa: no problem i will leave
Zuriel: Bella wait up
Isabella: what is it?is it because i am in your house?go tell your mom;tell her i feel nothing for you,i have no feelings for you because you not the one I want to spent my entire life with
Zuriel: Isabella;relax(enter Obedient)
Isabella:i don't have feelings for you not now;not tomorrow;not next and not even in the future so stay away from me;avoid me;lets not come in contact with each other till i leave your house(he held her) let me go(she pull herself from him and walked away)
Obedient: brother stop feeling bad
Zuriel: i am not i am just so bitter
Obedient: why?is it because she said she feel nothing for you
Zuriel: yes(he walked away)
Obedient: everyone is insane
Mara: why did you come back?
Melisa: my silly son and husband are mad at me now all thanks to that girl
Mara: relax
Melisa: i should relax when Isabella have turn my family against me
Mara: don't tell me you hurt that girl?
Melisa: don't asked me;go asked that stupid son of mine who brought that girl to my house(she walked away)
Mara: my sister is too stupid
Alice: young lady if i were you;i will go away;leave, you are not love by anyone not even by the so called boy you called your friend his mother. go away and leave them alone;did your prostitute of a mother tell you to have respect for yourself(she stood up and start walking away)how dare you walk away from me(she pushed her down)useless girl;harlot(enter Zuriel)i will kill you in this house
Zuriel: mother please let her go(enter Zeal)
Zeal: what is going on here?
Zuriel: ask mother
Zeal: dont tell me you are hurting thus girl again
Alice: i am not doing anything to her(she walked away)
Zuriel: dad;we will just go ahead;thank you
Zeal: it's okay but i want to talk to her
Zuriel: any problem dad?
Zeal: not at all;i just want to talk to her(exit Zuriel)
Isabella: sir please don't sent me out because i am causing trouble for your family
Zeal: why would i do that?sit,tell me everything about yourself (Zuriel stood at a distance and listen)
Isabella: there is nothing to talk about;absolutely nothing;what is life without a family who love and cherish you?
Zeal: even at that there is still something to talk about
Isabella: i live with a family;who love and cherish me but all of a sudden the affection of my dad towards me died off;those days was like night mare;it felt that my dad has turned into a monster. when he discipline me as he claim;he discipline me with hatred not with love and i wonder why?but i find out the truth that he was doing all those things because i wasn't his daughter
Zeal: what?your mom slept with someone else
Isabella: you don't judge a book by its cover;so we all thought;the day mom admitted that i am not his daughter that was the day mom's life was cut short by dad
Zeal: your mom was killed by your dad?
Isabella: yes;he was angry;he was provoke;to find out that the one he married had a daughter that is not his;every reasonable man in his shoe will do same
Zeal: not everyone;but is it really so?
Isabella: so we all thought,i live with the mirages that i am only related to my mother,that i am still part of the family and hoping my dad will accept me;even if i am not his daughter;when i realise i still loved him because he is my dad and when he hurt me more and more and those days in jail;i wasn't even free from him. every single dad i visit him in jail he remind me that i am the cause of his predicament;is okay;i don't want to stop loving him;i hope and pray that he get out of jail he will learn to love me but when he did;he became more than just a monster but the devil himself. i want to hold on to it,that is my fantasies that dad will love me eventually but it never happen because on that faithful day as he was hitting me;i felt i was going to die but my brother came to my rescue and that was the day he sent us out
Zeal: he drove you away?
Isabella: yes;he did but with his son and when we returned the next day;the truth came out but in a complete form
Zeal: meaning?
Isabella: (tears roll her eyes)that i am a bastard;that i don't belong there and that i am related to them;that i am not even related to my mother because she didn't give birth to me;that someone else gave birth to me but doesn't want me
Zeal: what?(tears roll his eyes) how do you survive
Isabella: God give life and he made me survive(phone ringing)
Zeal: i am sorry(he wipe her tears)sorry;my daughter;i have to take this call and please we really need to talk when i come back and please take good care of yourself
Isabella: i will sir(exit Zeal)
Zuriel: Isabella,where is dad?
Isabella: he left
Zuriel: alright(she turned to leave)baby(he held her hand)
Isabella: let me go
Zuriel: i want to tell you something
Isabella: what?
Zuriel: i...
Ada: Zuriel;please can you accompany me to the market
Zuriel: Ada i was...
Ada: please
Zuriel: alright
Isabella: go ahead(exit Zuriel/Ada) hello Obedient;are you going out?
Obedient: i have something to attend to
Isabella: alright;i will just go inside (she held screamed from Obed's room) are you alright?
Obed: oh pretty thing;come on in(with cigarette in his hand)
Isabella: you smoke?
Obed: of cause i do;is a way of life that is presentable
Isabella: you are drunk;please excuse me (he dragged her)
Obed: you don't have to go(he pushed her to the bed)you are really pretty;that is why Zuriel is so obsess with you
Isabella: let me go(she struggle with him)i beg you let me go
Obed: don't be foolish;do you think you can over power me?(he hit her on the head and she fainted)what a beauty to behold like Ma Melisa(he raped her)(enter Alice)will you get up(she cried)
Alice: you killed me(she rushed out)
Isabella: i begged you;please don't do this to me;i cried;i struggled with you;i thought you are descent but you are bad;you couldn't pity me because i am in your house;you took away the only thing i have;that i wanted to give to my husband;you took it by force(she cried)i will tell everyone what you did to me(enter Alice)
Alice: you dare not;if not i will kill you(she brought out a toy gun)if you dare it;i will kill you;now get out from this room and go take your bath and here take this drug;foolish girl(she left)and you pray that she doesn't tell on you(at Ada's room)
Ada: why are you crying?
Isabella: i want to go home(tears roll her eyes)goodbye
Zuriel: hey;where are you going?what did mother did to you?
Isabella: nothing(she walked forward)(enter Zippor)Zippor
Zippor: Isabella(she hugged him and cried more)what is wrong?
Isabella: why didn't you come before now?hours back;minutes back;second back;why now?
Zippor: i am sorry;i am here to take you home
Isabella: home?back to that monster;come on tell me
Zippor: don't worry we are not staying with Joy anymore
Isabella: then where do we go?
Zippor: we will go back to dad
Isabella: i don't want to
Zippor: don't worry is just for a short period(but she continued crying) are you not happy to see me?
Isabella: yes;i am;i am really happy that you are my Redeemer
Zippor: alright;lets go;thank you very much;i will go on
Zuriel: Isabella;did someone hurt you?tell me

Isabella: no one Zuriel,no one(she hugged him)good bye(exit)
Ada: Zuriel you are not yourself
Zuriel: i dont know;whenever;mom get hurt or feel pains;i see it in her eyes even if she pretend to be okay;i still know. same with her,i just felt she is in pain and someone hurt her deeply and if i find out someone did hurt her......
Alice: what will you do?
Zuriel: i will forget the fact that i am related to that someone(she turned to leave and Zeal/Edward enter)
Zeal: son where is she?
Zuriel: she left





to be continue


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Preity Zinta launching a tea brand


“PREE-TEA”


which will fiercely compete with


“NESS-CAFE”


Take your pick – Tea or Coffee!Related

Santa ki bivi ka rang kala tha ,,,

.

.

uski Bivi ne Red colour ki saree pehni



Aur Santa se pucha ?

KESi Lag rahi hon ?

.

.

Santa muskaratay huwey bola” confirm Chris Gayle ????Related




Nigeria President, Goodluck Jonathan, was campaigning for the February 2015 Election in one State.

As soon as he mounted the podium to speak, people started chanting ‘you have failed!’ ‘You have failed!’.

Disturbed, Goodluck Jonathan stopped speaking and said:

‘Everywhere I go, people say I have failed. Everywhere I go, people say I’ve failed. Now, if you are in school and you fail your exams, what do you do? You repeat. Nigerians, repeat me. Give me another four years.”




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-17 11:03:38

244 Views




Continues..

Preston: hello dad
Preston:yes we broke up. I can’t stand her
anymore. I
am tired of being the one always used in this
family to
provide money. What did you do with all your money? You see the mistake you have done? You
invested
your own money on Laura’s dad. Now look at
Laura’s
dad if he is willing to help you. Laura and I have
been quarrelling for days now(I was surprised)
Preston:I am tired of all these. I don’t care
anymore
ask h to pay you back your money. Right now,I
have to work so I can afford my fees.
Preston:wealth is nothing to me dad. I am fed up! Because of you I lost track of my academics and
at the
same time the woman I love. I can’t afford to
loose
anything again. Please I will appreciate it if you
all leave me alone for a while. Preston:you won’t
die. You better fight for your life. At
least the money I worked as a result of dating
laura is
in my account I will send it in no time.I will sort
out something before the money gets finished I will
appreciate it now if you all don’t bother my life
again
and let me think straight(he hung up) I didn’t
wanted him to suspect maybe I was
eavesdropping on him so I went to the car and blew
the horn as if I was just arriving. I went to the
door an
opened it but it was locked but when laura came
out it
wasn’t locked I reasoned or maybe he heard my horn
and locked it? I decided to knock. I knocked
thrice before he opened the door. I avoided eye
contact with
him and walked into the sitting room. I was
about going inside my room when he dragged me and
kissed me I didnt respond. I forced myself out of
his
grip but he held me strongly and continued
kissing
me. He pushed me on the sofa and laid on me. There I felt the pain of the bandaged area
Mereston please stop it you are hurting me(I
said
when he was staring at my face)
He didn’t listen he still continued kissing me. I
was fighting with him to stop but he won’t then the
door
opened knocker.Presley and Miranda. They saw
me struggling me struggling with preston an
they saw
Preston forcing himself on me Presley:OMG Preston what do you think you are
doing?
She is wounded for crying out loud
Miranda:preston what’s wrong with you why
do you
intend hurting her all the time? Preston stopped and sat on the sofa burying his head
on his palms. I managed to run into my room I
locked
it and went to lie on the bed. I thought of what
just
happened. I was wondering maybe he missed me
that’s why he kissed me or maybe he was
depressed
about what conspired between him and laura. I
didn’t feel bitterness about what happened like
I did with brenden. I felt happy I was more happy that
miranda
and Preston caught him like that. Knocks came at
the
door I didn’t open neither did I respond to the
knocker..

To be continued.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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packing things [Read it]


A man and his wife quarrelled
After the fight, the wife went into the bedroom. A few
minutes later,
the husband also trooped into the bedroom only to find
the wife busy packing her suitcase!
He asked "You are packing! Where are you going?"
She answered "To my mother".
The man also started packing his clothes.
Angrily, wife said "You are packing! Where are you
going?"
He replied "Oh. I"m going to my mother!"
The wife replied, "To your mother!!
And what about our 6 children?! Who is going to look
after them?"
The man replied, "You are going to your mother! I'm
going 2 my mother.
The 6 children should go to their mother too.
Who win?
the man or the woman?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-02 13:57:59

206 Views





CODED LANGUAGE.
.
AKPOS: Sweetheart, I am GEJ
.
HELEN: You’re kidding? Our previous
president is GEJ (Good luck Ebele
Jonathan)
.
AKPOS: I mean, I am GEJ - GOING ON AN
EMERGENCY JOURNEY!
.
HELEN: (smiling) Oh! You’re not serious!
What kind of a journey are
you going on?
.
AKPOS: OBJ.
.
HELEN: To meet Obasanjo?
.
AKPOS: No, it means ON A BUSINESS
JOURNEY.
.
HELEN: Oh!
.
AKPOS: Yes… IBB.
.
HELEN: Babangida?
.
AKPOS: I’LL BE BACK.
.
HELEN: (smiles). Very funny.
.
AKPOS: Till then APC.
.
HELEN: What does that mean?
.
AKPOS: I’ll ALWAYS PING AND CALL.
HELEN: Hmmm…
.
AKPOS: And while I’m away, PDP with
love.
.
HELEN: What?
.
AKPOS: PLEASE DON’T PLAY with our
love.
.
HELEN: (after a short pause) You know I
won’t BRF.
.
AKPOS: What has Lagos state governor
got to do with all this?
.
HELEN: (smiling) I’ll BE RIGHTEOUS and
FAITHFUL!
.
AKPOS: I trust you
.
HELEN: FOOL!!
.
AKPOS: (screaming) Whaaat?!
.
HELEN: FOR OUR OVERWHELMING LOVE!



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-20 15:46:04

773 Views




EPISODE 37

Mirabel: Don't worry, i'm on pills, I've been waiting for this moment

Me: Oh....

No time to talk...

We did it, and i felt alive again 'coz its been long. I didn't last long though, I was so embarrassed and very disappointed with my performance, I use to last very long and satisfied back then, buh what tha hell just happened?!  Well, maybe its because its been a while since i last did it.

I saw blood on the white sheets,  I just deflowered our president's daughter?  eayah.... and i heard the  man left for the United States yesterday for Nuclear energy whatever! that kind of imagination, Lol.

Mirabel: Woah... just wow!!

Me: Thanks for choosing me Mirabel

Mirabel: Thanks for being my first experience,,, even though u didn't last long, I understand.

Me: Thanks sweetheart

Mirabel: I've always wished to do it with someone that I love very much, and with who loves me.

Me: Yea,,,, I love u very much

Mirabel: Ok,,, Now, U have to avoid yoghurts

Me: Haba na

Mirabel: Yes na, haven't u done your research? Too much of it is not good for a man. Just take it once in while

Me: Ok

Mirabel: Promise?

Me: Ok

Mirabel: No, say u promise

Me: Ok, I promise

Mirabel: Good

Me: Yea, let's shower together

Mirabel: Alright...

We had shower together, and of course we did it there again. This time, I lasted longer than earlier.

After shower, we got prepared and went out for dinner.
Her guards don't even do any work, they just stay at home and be collecting salaries.

We went to a nice snack store and purchased meatpie, fried chicken and two plates of ice cream. It was my treat oh....

We sat down eating and talking till we finished and we went straight to my place, before then, we stopped by a chemist to purchase something.
It was late already so we went straight to the bedroom.
Promise called her (Mirabel) to thanked her again for what she gave her. She also spoke with her mum, I got to hear our first lady's voice.

I was like "Madam first lady, I am screwing your daughter here".

I didn't wait for her to finish the call before i initiated a romance. She responded after she dropped the call. One touch led to another till it led to penetration. And this time, I was satisfied, I did very well. But my joy got minimized when she made an announcement...

Mirabel: I will be leaving tomorrow Victor

Me: What? Why?? I thought u would stay around for a while

Mirabel: Yea, buh my mum wants me to get home tomorrow. She knows we ended our exams today and there's nothing left to do

I didn't say anything

Mirabel: Please dear understand the situation here. I don't want to go but i have no choice

Me: So,,,, meaning I won't be seeing u for the next one or two months?

Mirabel: Well, u can come to the villa or i could go to your place if u want

Me: That means, whichever it is,,, there would be lodging of hotels?

Mirabel: Nope, U can be my guest at the villa

Me: Really?

Mirabel: Yea

Me: What about your parents?

Mirabel: I will tell them about u

Me: Are u kidding?

Mirabel: **laughs** of course i am... abi u wan enter jail?

Me: **Sighed** Then how is it gonna be?

Mirabel: Hhmmm... U can be my guest at the villa without the knowledge of my father, he don't have that time 'coz he got a whole country under his responsibility .

Me: Then what about your mum?

Mirabel: My mum trusts me very much, so she won't be a hindrance

Me: Hhmmm...

Mirabel: Come on honeyy...

Me: We are talking about Aso Rock here

Mirabel: Its human beings that lives there not god, I live there too hellooo...

Me: Alright! I will go there

Mirabel: Thanks honeyy... I love u so much **hugging me**

Me: I love u so much more sweetheart

**Kisses**

**More kisses**

**Lots of kisses**

**Disengaged**

Mirabel: **Smiling** Good night handsome

Me: Good night gorgeous

**Good night kiss**

??? BLACKOUT ???

Mirabel: Sweetheart wake up na

Me: **Sleepy** Is it morning already?

Mirabel: Yes and its past 8 already

Me: Aish!... I dunno why morning always comes too quick

Mirabel: Complains of a lazy man

Me: Hey, I'm not lazy

Mirabel: Then why are u still in bed? I woke up 20 minutes to 7:00 and did your laundry that is so many,,, dirty boy.

Me: Come on,,, yesterday was really amazing... u know I was the one that uses all the strength

Mirabel: Hhmmm... are u complaining now?

Me: Hell no... I enjoyed every bit of it **Moving closer to her**

Mirabel: Don't even think about it

Me: What? I just want to give my baby a good morning kiss

Mirabel: With that lustful eyes of yours? No way!

Me: Arrgghhh...!! **fell back on to the bed**   Thanks for doing my laundry, Gosh! I've been planning on when to wash it but i kept postponing it.... Thanks sweetheart

Mirabel: U are welcome. Go brush your teeth, breakfast will be ready in five minutes and I will be leaving by 10:00 **walks away**

My heart starts beating when I heard  "I will be leaving by 10" and it sounded new to me 'coz I wanted her to be with me forever. My mood changed, I managed to stand up and brushed my teeth before joining her in the kitchen.

I grabbed her from behind and started kissing her neck

Me: Wouldn't it be too early for u to leave by 10?

Mirabel: I have to, 'coz I will have to go to my lodge to arrange my stuffs before leaving

Me: U sound like u are cool with this

She turned around to face me

Mirabel: I am a strong girl, i don't need to shed tears before u know that i'm hurting in the inside... its not easy for me to leave u, but i'm not leaving u forever. U will be visiting me at the Villa in few days time right? So,,,, why worrying too much?

Me: I just want u to be by my side

Mirabel: Awwww,,, someone is missing me already

Me: Yea, I will miss u

Mirabel: I will miss u too...

**Kisses**

Mirabel: Alright, that's enough... U can go to the dinning now

Me: Ok,,,, don't take long i'm starving

I left the kitchen, she brought the food to the dinning and we ate together. It was actually noodles. After that, we had our bath together.
I won't answer the question you're asking your mind right now *Winkz*

She left eight minutes past the hour of ten. Then something just popped into my head, and i decided to leave too. I called Mirabel to inform her.

Mirabel: What's up sweetheart, missing me already?

Me: Yes alot, where are u now?

Mirabel: I'm on my way to the Villa

Me: Okay,,, I'm leaving too

Mirabel: When?

Me: Now,,, in few minutes time

Mirabel: Woah.... I thought u would still be around

Me: No, there's nothing here to do, so i'm going home

Mirabel: Ok, safe trip

Me: U too, take care. Love u...

Mirabel: Love u too... byee

**Hangs up**

I went home to my family but not with the range rover.

???? ???? ???? ?

I got a warm and happy welcome from my family. Dad wasn't at home, they said he travelled to Minna for business. I went to the football field that evening to play football, its been a while and I missed it. My friends was so happy to see me. I was very popular in my area,,, any corner i enter, people must hail my Nick name "Vict-Vames" and the girls call me "Vickie Vames" The area was so full of fun and activities.

When I go to game house, they hail me 'Coz I was the champion of games.

My environment always full visitors, some guys use me as a cover to see my sisters. The area and the people around it gives me joy.

After three days of my stay at home, something happened.

Me: Hello

Promise: Hi Victor

Me: What's up?

Promise: Things are yet to be up

Me: What are u talking about? Anything wrong??

Promise: Go check what's trending on twitter

Me: What is it?

Promise: It will be better if u check it out yourself

Me: Alright, talk to u later, lemme check it out

Promise: Ok

**Hangs up**

I quickly on my data, and entered twitter at once. I checked on the trends and nearly had an heart attack.

The number one trend on the trending list was hash tagged 

"#ThePresident'sDaughter".

I clicked on it and saw

"The daughter of the president kissing an unknown guy in campus.  Click here to watch full video"

My heart nearly fell from its position.  I clicked on the link and i was directed to YouTube. While it was loading, i saw that it has already gotten about 330,000 views. It finally played, I saw us (Mirabel and I) kissing. Chai! my heart beat changed to gear one, the blood in my veins started running 69°/sec.
I became so afraid with many questions circulating through my brain.

?What if it gets to the media?
?What if someone shows it to the president??
?What if the president sees it

?What would he do to me?
?Will my life become that of Solomon grounding??
?How can I escape this

???   The End   ???

TO BE CONTINUED ON SEASON TWO

----------------------------------

Thank You All For Reading.

The story has been a success from the beginning of episode one down to this moment.

Thanks for your love and support, your comments of encouragement and your endurance for the late updates.

All the comments was positive and good.... I didn't noticed any critics except for the late updates.

I will start writing the season two from now...

Thank U all

Please,,, if u read this story, try to say something before u go.. . Thanks


>>

I found a Leaflet in newspaper this morning which read, ‘ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC? CALL NOW. WE CAN HELP!!!’

My wife insisted I make a call

I Called up. It Was A Liquor Shop Offer : ‘Buy 3 & Get 1 Free’…

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