Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:

The Visit. [Read it]


A blind guy visited his choir mistress at home and found her bathing. since he was blind, she let him in. After bathing, she came out naked with legs spread and shaving in front of him and tried to make a conversation by asking him, brother John, what brings you here? Is everything OK at home? He replied, yes o, very fine. I came to tell you that I have done the eye surgery and I can see very clearly now.
????????????????????????????????????... Don't laugh alone.
????enjoy d rest of d week????


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-29 20:40:26

952 Views




By the time I made it into my bed I was exhausted. My mom hurried in with my medication and Grey watched anxiously from my doorway. I drank the tablets and sank back into my bed closing my eyes because my head was hurting so badly.

"She'll be okay," I heard my mom say to Grey as she left my room.

"What is it?" he asked in a whisper, his voice concerned.

"A migraine," my mom answered in a whisper. I groaned, as I turned onto my side hugging my pillow close for comfort in the darkness.

"Will she be okay?" he asked softly.

"She'll be good by the morning."

No, I wouldn't be good in the morning. I would have to face him after I'd puked in front of him. There was no way I was ever going to live it down. The tablets helped ease the pain and I fell asleep.

The next morning I slept in. I did rouse once when my mom checked up on me when I'd didn't get up at my usual time.

"How are you feeling?" My mom asked me gently.

"I'm just tired," I replied before I yawned.

"Okay, baby."

I turned over and drifted off to sleep again. By the time I woke up again it was afternoon already. Having wasted most of the day already I got up and had a shower. The only thing that replayed in my mind over and over again was throwing up in front of Grey.

I felt so embarrassed. I leaned my head against the tiles as I tried to deal with the fact that he'd seen me at my worst. Letting out a sigh I decided there was no point in letting it dominate my thoughts. It wasn't like he was interested in me. He probably looked at it like he was helping his best friend's sister, and that was all.

I had a shower and pulled on some comfy clothes. It was Sunday and I didn't have any plans other than watching some TV. The house was quiet. I was alone. I found a note from my mom saying that they went out for lunch and they would bring me food home. My tummy grumbled at the thought. I just sat down on the sofa and started watching TV when there was a knock at the door. I got up and went to open the front door.

"Hey," Grey greeted me. At the sight of him made my stomach flip and my embarrassment at what happened the previous day crept into my cheeks.

"Hi." I let him in and he followed me into the living room.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as I plopped down onto the sofa.

"I'm fine," I assured him. "I'm sorry about last night."

The TV was still on so the noise eased my nervousness I felt being alone in his presence. He stood beside the sofa and studied me for a moment.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I was glad I could help."

"Thanks," I said. I just wanted to forget it had ever happened. He sat down beside me in the empty seat beside me.

"oes that happen often?" he asked.

"Sometimes," I replied vaguely. The truth was they were getting worse.

"I never knew you suffered from migraines."

I clasped my hands together nervously.

"I got my first one about a year ago," I replied with a shrug not wanting to make a big deal out of it. A lot of people suffered from migraines. Initially I'd only got them once a month but as time had passed I'd started getting them more regularly. The reason he'd never seen me have one is because he was hardly ever around.

"What did the doctor say?" he asked and I was a little surprised by his interest.

"He said it can be caused by a increased stress level," I explained while I focused my eyes on the TV instead of him.

"Why are you stressed?" he continued with his question.

I pressed my lips together for a moment before I turned to face him. Our eyes met and I felt a shiver of excitement.

"You know the usual stuff...high school and trying to figure out what I'm going to do with the rest of my life," I tried to explain.

He nodded his head like he understood but he already had his life on track. He was doing exactly what he'd always wanted to and I couldn't imagine him doing anything else. I didn't have that type of passion for anything and it scared me that I might never.

"I hope I didn't ruin your night," I added. Some part of me wanted to know what he'd been doing when Reece had called.

"We were at a party," he said with a shrug and focused his eyes on the TV. It wasn't a surprise. Even though he couldn't go to clubs like most guys their age they did go to a lot of parties in the neighborhood where there seemed to be one every weekend.

"Why didn't Alex come and fetch me?" I asked. That same part of me needed to know why he'd come instead of my brother. I felt that little hope that his concern for me had been the reason why he'd come to fetch me.

"Alex was drunk," he said shaking his head with a smile. "He'd been doing shots with some girl and she drank him under the table."

At the mention of a girl I felt the usual feeling of jealousy. I shoved it down trying to remind myself that he could do whatever he wanted with any girl he wanted. It was another reminder that I needed to find a way to move on.

There was never a shortage of girls around him and it was only a matter of time before he picked one to get serious about. I had to make sure I got over him before that because watching that was going to be pure torture if I still loved him the way I did.

While he was distracted with watching TV I let my eyes sneak a side-glance and I savored it for a moment. Frustrated with myself I pulled my eyes away from him and fixed them on the TV. For my own sanity I had to figure out how to move on.

"It looks nice on you," he said bringing me out of my thoughts. I looked at him confused at what he was talking about.

"The necklace," he said as his fingers reached out and touched the small harp pendant.

The small brush of his fingers against my skin was enough to make my heart beat with anticipation. I looked up to him and swallowed hard. His eyes were fixed on the pendant while I watched him.

The noise from the TV disappeared as he became all I could concentrate on. I felt a rush of excitement when his eyes lifted to mine. As our gazes held I ran the tip of my tongue across my bottom lip and his eyes flickered to the action.

His eyes held mine and I held my breath as he leaned closer. I couldn't quite believe what was happening. The moment the thought entered my mind that he was going to kiss me with his lips nearly touching mine, noise from the hallway interrupted us.

He pulled away and I was left reeling at the fact that, Grey, my brother's best friend who I'd loved from the age of thirteen had nearly kissed me. But there was no time to process what had almost happened because my mom breezed into the living room.

"Hi," she greeted us with a cheerful smile. I plastered a smile that I didn't feel to my lips as I looked up to my mom. "I brought you guys some food from the restaurant."

I was still trying to calm my rapidly beating heart as I nodded. Grey looked up to my mom and gave her his signature dimpled smile.

"Thanks," he said as he stood up and followed my mom out of the living room.

Alone I sat trying to figure out if what had just happened had been apart of my imaginations because Grey had been so together and I was coming apart at the seams. I took a deep breath and released it. I was so confused.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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GIRL: When we get married, I want you to stop smoking.

AKPOS: Ok!

GIRL: I will also want you to stop drinking too.

AKPOS: Ok!

GIRL: As well as stop going to the night club too.

AKPOS: Yes.

GIRL: You should stop watching soccer matches with your boys also

AKPOS: Okay!

GIRL: What else can you quit?

AKPOS: The idea of marrying you.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-02 09:13:18

163 Views




these are rules 4 girlfriend.
*you must not ask me for recharge card.
*you must not come to my house unexpectedly.
*your parent must not collect bride price from me.
*your father will be my gateman.
*your mummy will be my sugar mummy.
*all your sister will be sex machine.
*all your brother will be my slave.
*you must not check my phone wen sleeping.
*you must answer me with YES DADDY anytime i call u.
PLS IF U CANNOT COPE WITH THIS RULES GET AWAY.
Post ur own rules 4 ur girlfriend.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-19 07:28:22

361 Views



My country [Read it]


How to catch a thief. The American style: investigate he's a thief till you find an evidence to catch him. The china police style: chase the thief till he gets tired then you catch him. The Arab police style: kidnap the thief's wife and threaten the thief to surrender. The indian police style: Allow a pretty damsel to sing for him to lure him closer then you catch him. The Nigerian police style: catch any person on the street, beat him until he agrees he is a thief


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-28 21:48:10

548 Views



Ugliest Women [Read it]


Three men were waiting at Heaven's
Gate. The Angel said, "Okay, guys, pretty
much anything goes up here, but
whatever you do, never lie, or you will
spend the rest of eternity with the
ugliest women in the universe." So they all agreed and were admitted
in. The first guy made it a week before
he lied about how rich he was on Earth.
Bam! Right at his side appeared the
ugliest woman he had ever seen. The second guy made it another couple
weeks before he lied about how smart
he is. Bam! At his side appeared the
second ugliest woman in the universe. So the first two guys were walking
around with their monsters of women
when they saw their third friend
walking with the most beautiful woman
ever conceived by man. The first two
guys said in unison, "How did you land with this babe when we got stuck with
these nasty women?" He nudged the babe and said, "Tell
them." She said to the first two guys, "I lied."
#BOLLY_SMART™®


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-15 09:30:56

432 Views




There is a higher court than courts of justice and that is the court of conscience. It supercedes all other courts.

~ Mahatma GandhiRelated

Joke by Dindy [Read it]


JOKE BY DINDY
Boy:please can I see your pix?
Girl:kk
.
.
Picture sent??
.
.
Picture received??
.
.
Boy:wow you look beautiful....you look so 24....how old are you?
Girl:I am 18
Boy:huh?.....i said your age not your junior sister's age.........lol
#DINDY WROTE THIS=> facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-08-30 21:20:43

411 Views




Take some kisses and also give me some;

My life is barren when I get none;

Make my lips moist, make me moan;

Lie beside me till eternity when it’s done!Related

Naija no dey carry last
















NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-09 07:42:16

4095 Views




Rah Chalti Ladki Ko Dekh Kar Ladka Shayari Ke Andaz Mein Bola



Ladka: “Kash Main Tumhare Hasen Honton Ki Lip Stick Hota”



Ladki Ne Huste Hue Jawab Diye



Ladki: “Shukar Karo Nahi Ho Warna Roz Kisi K “lun” Pe Lage Hotey.“Related

MY FIRST TRIP TO ABUJA AND ZARIA (STORY BY DINDY) LAST EPISODE 10

Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story..
She was very fair and her beauty was spotless, she looked older than me, but i never fully gave her beauty attention --i swear, i f*ck up big time oo, don't worry you will understand why i said so as we continue the story--.
At first, the place she sat wasn't so good for her and her sister, so they came to sit at the back where i sat. She sat at the left hand side of her sister, while I sat on the right hand side of her sister and a lady sat beside me.
As the journey started, I took my phone and started writing the story "Angles" --I swear that girl is the best definition of an angel oo--. As I wrote, I ignored every other thing that went on around me.
30mins into the journey, she started taking pictures with her sister, who wasn't as beautiful as she was. They took up to five picture, but I wasn't counting because I was busy writing.
As the journey continued, her sister slept off with her head bent backwards, but she was awake busy with her phone.
Few minutes later, her sis laid her head forward and relaxed on the seat right in front of her. I became free a bit as her sis laid forward because I was maintaining a little space.
I was busy writing and focusing on my story writing, when I noticed she was looking at what I was writing. I quickly locked down my mind which was ringing to her side and continued writing.
She stretched her beautiful head forward to see what I was writing, but I just ignored. She then told the woman who sat beside me to adjust a bit --she spoke in Hausa --, the lady adjusted --I think she was trying to get my attention--.
After the woman adjusted, she looked towards my way, but I was just busy writing my story --chia!, I feel like killing myself right now--. She started feeling sleepy and in no time, sleep glued to her eyes.
As she was sleeping, her head fell toward my left shoulder slowly, as I saw her head falling slowly towards my shoulder, i started crying inside me.
"Oh God, let this girl's head not touch my shoulder oo", I said praying to God for her head not to land on my shoulder.
"Ah Dindy, you fear unnecessary", said my mind.
"Wake up, wake up", I said in my mind, as her head fell closer to my shoulder.
"C'mon, stop being childish", said my mind.
"No, no, nooo!!", I shouted in me as her head landed on my shoulder and my focus on writing died down.
When her head landed on my shoulder, I felt this cool loving feeling, that I have never felt in my life. I felt loved because no girl has ever placed her head on my shoulder --chia I need Cain ooo, I too dey f*ck up, I really miss that feeling [sad]--
"[Laughs] Dindy, shut up, don't you like it?", asked my mind laughing at me.
"[Crying] No I don't, God please let her just wake up", I said crying within me.
"[Laughs] Dindy you are such a girl", my mind said laughing at me.
"I swear I will wake her up o", I said within me.
"Ah Dindy, leave her, can't you see she's sleeping", said my mind.
"I don't care, let her just remove her head from my shoulder", I said within me.
"Ah, ok if you have the heart, wake her up na", my mind said to me.
"[Crying] oo, please wake up", I said crying inside me.
As I battled within myself, she wake up and looked at me. I ignored and continued writing my story.
"Chai!, thank God o, she has woken up", I said as I relaxed my beating heart.
"[Laughs] Dindy o, you won't kill me", said my mind.
As I was singing songs of praises, that her head was off my shoulder, she fell asleep again and her head was falling once again to my shoulder. In seconds, her head relaxed on my shoulder.
"Jesus Christ!, what is this na?", I said within myself.
"[Laughs] ah Dindy, I know you like it", said my mind laughing at me.
"[Sad] oo, I don't like this a bit, at all", I said within me.
While I and my mind battled, she wake up and looked at me, then adjusted herself --If I knew, I wouldn't have dull oo. [Angry] I'm such a f**l--.
She placed her head and hand on her sister's back, then slept off again. I was happy that she laid on her sister's back because I didn't want her head on my shoulder again.
As I continued writing, her right hand started dropping down, towards my left hand which was on my laps.
"Ah, not again na", I said within myself as her right hand dropped down getting close to mine.
"[Laughs] Dindy grow up", said my mind laughing at me.
"God please let her hand just stop there", I said within me as her right hand came closer than ever to mine.
"Dindy just relax", said my mind.
"Noooo___", I said crying within me as her hand touched mine.
"[Laughs] funny you", said my mind laughing at me.
"Make it stop, make it stop for crying out loud", I said to myself while her right hand was on mine.
As I fought myself with complains, the driver climbed over something that made the car go up and down forcefully.
Immediately the car went up and down, she and her sister wake up --I need to be flogged for missing such opportunity --.
After they wake up, they couldn't sleep back again because sleep had gone off their eyes.
Few minutes later, they got to there stop and came down, then left.
--That was how, I Lagos boy behaved like mumu and miss my chance, I totally hate myself.....I'm sorry for disappointing all you Lagos boys....abeg make Una no kill me.... I really need a coach on how to woo girls oo ......please if you're the girl and you are reading this....me still dey find you ooo!! . --
After she left, I felt her soft head on my shoulder and my heart was beating happily with joy.
Within 15mins, we got to the last bus stop which wasn't mararaba. I asked the driver on how to get to mararaba, then he told me wait for a bus which would soon come.
i couldn't wait that long because the sun was too much, so I stopped a biker.
After 15mins of bike riding, we got to my uncle's place. When I went in, I saw his wife going to the market.
She welcomed me, then told me that food was in the kitchen in case if I wanted to eat, then she left.
Time was very fast that day, making the sun run out of sight and the moon shine bright in the sky.
We were all (my uncle's wife and kids) at house except my uncle. He finally came back and by that time we had already eaten. After he ate, we all prayed and went to sleep.
The next day, I was going back to Lagos, so I wake up early and so did my uncle. When I was done and ready, my uncle and his wife drove me to the main road, where I would see a bus that would take me to "THE YOUNG SHALL GROW" park.
On the way heading to the main road, my aunty mocked my uncle on how he drove, I laughed very low.
When we got to the main road, my uncle parked and we crossed to the other side, then I boarded a bike because it would be more easy and safe.
When I got to "THE YOUNG SHALL GROW" park, I went inside and bought my ticket quickly. I then waited for them to start loading the bus.
The sun started showing froth its light. By that time, the first bus had left and the second bus started loading, the third bus wasn't yet ready --I didn't get lucky this time, I was fixed in the third bus--.
After the second bus was done, the third bus was ready to move. By that time the sun was out fully.
I sat on my seat, which was at the window side, then a lady sat beside me --o boy e be like say I get juju for Dem ladies --. The man who saw her off, came close to the window side where I was, to talk to her.
He then spoke in Yoruba to her, that she has found a new boyfriend, which is me and I understood what he said, but I said nothing --them no know say I be Lagos boy noni...dem see fine boy....learners --.
After 15mins, we left Abuja heading back to Lagos and leaving all my sweet lovely experience behind, including the girl that left a beautiful mark on my heart and mind.
The journey back to Lagos was extremely smooth and cool, we had no troubles or bus problems. I and the girl beside me talked a little because I gave her my cardigan when she was cold --Forget Dindy na sharp rat! --.

By 5pm, I arrived in Lagos and traffic was all over.
When finally I got to iyanaiba, I walked down, to where i would see a bus going to igando. In no time, I saw a bus going to igando and I entered.
As the bus moved, I thought heavily about all I experienced in my trip. As I got closer to my bus stop, a boy beside me called a girl with his phone.
The discussion that went on between him and the girl, made me remember the beautiful angel I missed at Zaria. I felt sad a bit, but shook off the feelings.
When I got to my stop, I came down, then crossed to the other side of the road, where I would see keke going to my side.
I entered a keke and as the keke moved closer to my area, I felt sad because I knew that my life would become boring once more.
Finally, I got to my area, then paid and came down the keke with my luggage.
As I walked closer and closer to my house, I missed the feeling which I felt behind in Abuja and Zaria. The joy and love I felt were all there and I'm here.
I know some day I would go back to school there, some day I would see my missing angel, but for now I have to live with the joy that i would pass the exams and the pain of missing a girl that made me feel what I have never felt in my life.
THE END.
LEARN FROM MY MISTAKE, NEVER MISS AN OPPORTUNITY.
STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected] Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Banta: My 9 year old son told me a girl was yelling at him and he just sat there wondering what he did wrong.

Santa: I think he’s ready for marriage!Related

Lucas: Doctor;how is she?
Doctor: she is fine;i gave her drugs and eye drop to use for her eyes;is a good thing the eyeball is not affected
Lucas: alright;Loveth;are you alright?
Loveth: i am fine
Doctor: how did you sustain this injury
Lucas: my son...
Loveth: assuredly;i wanted to go into the bathroom and my phone fell to the ground so as i was about standing up after picking my phone;my face kick the door and my door handle get into my eyes
Doctor: so painful but i thought MR Lucas was saying something about his son
Loveth: um...what he meant to say is that my husband is the one that told him because he wasn't there,when the incident took place
Doctor: oh!i am so sorry;please be careful next time
Loveth: i will thank you
Doctor: you welcome;goodbye
Lucas: alright(exit Doctor)Loveth;why did you tell him lies?
Loveth: i don't want people to see my husband as a bad person
Lucas: he is hurting you for crying out loud
Loveth: i know but this is all my fault. if i did not keep flirting with your other son;things would had been better
Lucas: tell me the truth;my son Luke is the one;you love
Loveth: do we have to go through that?
Lucas: just go on and tell me everything
Loveth: i always dreamt of getting married at age twenty three but when i get to twenty three;i still don't have anyone interested in me and i also do not find my perfect match until i get to twenty six and my mom was so desperate to give my hand in marriage and then your wife;who was her best friend show up with my husband and we were both introduce to each other but we are the opposite of each other;we were always quarreling and fighting
Lucas: so
Loveth: yes;here i am married to him
Lucas: when did you mean my son?
Loveth: i told you already now
Lucas: Luke not Jude
Loveth: we met at a bar;we both have seem problem and we kept talking but he was different because i felt like i have know him for a very long time and we became friend after sometime;we became really close and i started crushing on him. it became so obvious that i truly love him when i spent days in his mom's apartment and he finally open up to tell me that he also feel same for me but .......
Lucas: go on
Loveth: i was going to break up with Jude because he always hurt me and tell superman;that i truly love him but instead of telling him;how i feel about him,i break up with him and hurt him
Lucas: but why did you do that?
Luke: is because i love him
Lucas: how will you be in love with a person and end up with another. what kind of love is that
Loveth: some things are better left unsaid than saying it
Lucas: my daughter
Loveth: i love you dad(she hugged him and cried)please;promise me not a word to my dad
Lucas: don't make me do this?
Loveth: if i were your daughter you will protect me right?
Lucas: yes(he hugged her)be careful my daughter(curtain)


Muriel: where are you coming from?
Luke: mom;please let me be
Muriel: i should let you be?
Luke: yes;must everyone bother me
Joan: i need explanation of what just happen at the party
Luke: i hold you no explanation because you just lost your right to that,the very moment you refuse to listen to me and embarrass Loveth in front of those crowd
Joan: oh!you are mad because i embarrass her right
Luke: yes(Muriel slapped him)mom;this is the second time you are slapping me
Muriel: i want to give you back your senses
Luke: mom;please don't make an issue out of nothing(he turned to walked away)
Muriel: do you still love that girl?
Luke: mom,please
Muriel: go on and please be truthful to me
Luke: you want the true?fine i will tell you,yes i love her and up till now i am still in love with her because she is the only woman in my heart;the only one i will always love(Joan slapped him)Joan please
Joan: i hate you;is that why you cheated on me with her
Luke: is what you want to believe(exit Luke)
Joan: i am leaving;Ruth
Ruth: mom
Joan: go get your nanny;we are leaving
Muriel: you are not serious Joan?
Joan: i am
Muriel: you are not leaving
Joan: watch me(she dragged her)come on
Ruth: mom;i don't want to leave. i want to stay with my dad
Joan: you are leaving with me now
Muriel: Joan;please we can talk this over
Joan: what is there to talk about?your son has already make it clear that he is still in love with that stupid girl
Ruth: mom;my dad can not be in love with any other girl
Joan: will you shut up
Ruth: alright mom but i am not leaving with you(she ran into her room)
Joan: Ruth;come back here
Muriel: Joan;lets talk
Joan: fine(curtain)

Loveth: (she went to their normal hangout at the park with the artwork )why is love so unfair?why is there so many thing i want to fix in my life but i just couldn't fix;i so tired of everything;every one is against me(she pick handkerchiefs from her bag and keep writing)i just want to end it all;why is everyone happy and i am sad?i am tired of it all;i am tired of my husband;i am tired of life (enter Luke)i just want to end it up. i am tired of everything
Luke: life is too sweet to contemplate suicide
Loveth: life is sweet;i don't think you know anything about life
Luke: i may not know your pain but i know it hurt to live in self pity(Luke walked to her front)Loveth
Loveth: you
Luke: yes;is me(she turned to leave and Luke held her hand)i am not a monster;i am sorry if i hurt you but please tell me the truth;are you avoiding me?
Loveth: does it matter
Luke: Loveth;is it true
Loveth: what is true?
Luke: what your friends said?
Loveth: just let sleeping dog lie
Luke: just tell me the truth
Loveth: is it important that i love you or not
Luke: just tell me;do you really have feelings for me back then
Loveth: superman;stop it. this is the best for the both of us(he stool in front of her)what is it?
Luke: be truthful to yourself
Loveth: go ahead and torment me(she cried)i am tired
Luke: Loveth;stop crying. i am sorry(he made her stop crying)that is enough
Loveth: i could remember the first time we really became friends;i was crying
Luke: of cause;that was the first day i brought you here
Loveth: yes;we became really close friends
Luke: you were really funny then and a talkative too
Loveth: will you stop
Luke: but it is the fact(he walked towards her and tickle her and she laughed)
Loveth: stop it;stop it Luke(he pause and stared at her)what?
Luke: at first i was angry that you kept calling me superman but now i prefer that
Loveth: really
Luke: yes
Loveth: so you were pretending then right?(she dragged his nose)
Luke: hey that hurt
Loveth: i am sorry;superman thank you
Luke: what happen to us?
Loveth: i am sorry superman(she held her ear)please forgive me
Luke: you did me no wrong but why did you break up with me
Loveth: lets just forget about it;promise me,we will still be friends
Luke: friends(he stretch out his hand but she hugged him)you are cunning
Loveth: i know;superman thank you
Luke: don't thank me. you also made my day(they tell jokes and story together till night fall)Love;don't you want to home
Loveth: no;i want to go when my husband is far away in dreams land(Luke laughed)what is it?
Luke: i remember our first night;that was the same words you said
Loveth: oh!and you then;you really do not want to go home early too but is different now;you want to go home because you have a lovingly wife and a daughter
Luke: so you think(he dragged her closer)i missed your breath
Loveth: i missed you too(they both lay on the floor and watch the star)
Maid: welcome sir
Jude: where is my wife?
Maid: she have not returned
Jude: by this time(he bring out his phone to call her)
Maid: sir;she left her phone behind
Jude: what?where did she say she is going to?
Maid: she didn't say
Jude: alright;excuse me(exit Jude)
Maid: i wonder what is wrong with this stupid boss of mine and his wife. anyway that doesn't concern me. let go and prepared dinner(curtain)

Jude: where in God's name did thus girl go?
Liz: does it mean your wife did not spent the night here?
Jude: mom;i just do hope that nothing happen to her
Liz: nothing is happening to her. i am sure she is flirt with your brother again
Jude: mom;please
Liz: if you say so(she walked away)
Jude: Loveth;you are really testing my patient. i know what to do(curtain)
Loveth: oh my God(the next morning)Luke;wake up(she wake Luke)come on wake up(he open his eyes)
Luke: Loveth
Loveth: why didn't you wake me up?
Luke: i just slept off
Loveth: i have to go home before my husband start looking for me
Luke: what if he get mad at you?
Loveth: i just pray he doesn't get mad(she peck him and ran away)
Luke: i pray he doesn't hit her(he remember he still have to go face his wife)oh my God;what will i tell Joan now


SEE MORE...


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Post Bodywhere is this government house found in the whole universe







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-09-28 23:24:47

478 Views







The following conversation ensued between Akpos and his friend, Ochuko:

Akpos: I Have Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, Yahoo, Tumblr, Msn, Skype and G-Talk.

Ochuko: Dude, do you have a life?

Akpos: OMG! No! Send me the link.




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-17 11:06:40

676 Views



puzzle [Read it]


Due to bleaching, some girls now look brighter
than their future.
You look like Rihanna on facebook.
You look like nicky minaj on whatsapp.
You look like beyonce on twitter.
But in real life you look like Mr. Ibu.
What if you get missing(God 4bid) how do expect
us to identify you? Excessive make-up is a
display of cosmetic foolishness, appreciate God
for who you are...



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-06 00:52:57

395 Views




One day Akpos got home early from school and his dad asked, "Why are you home so early?"
He answered, "Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class."
He said, "Wow, my son is a genius. What was the question?"
Akpos replied, "The question was 'Who broke bottle on the principal's head?'"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-27 19:28:16

6447 Views




We resumed 400level, for my character to reduce rather it was getting worse. After release of first batch Admission list and second batch list, my sister’s name was not there. There was serious apprehension at home because there was a guy she knew which had secured admission. We started pressing button again, thanks to Aminat who knew a professor tha was the dean of post graduate school. We told him and he was surprised she has not be given admission despite her high score, her name later came out on the supplementary list.
Before her name was out, her mind was not at rest and she had already moved to school, where else will she stay if not my place since i was already in 400level, i will be leaving school in like a year so she can continue staying in the house. She was so happy when her name came out, she couldn’t wait to go and bring her things from Offa and start staying in school.
My sister was a decent lady to the core too, she uses long hijab and always in jalamia most times, even though she use to wear jean trouser, you will not notice because she use to cover it with her jalamia. I never wanted to support her coming to live with me because i know she will definitely block my runs, none of my family members knows my character again, they still see me as that innocent Alfa Abdulrahman, how will they know when it has been up to 3 years i last visited home and they had not by any chance pay me a visit in school. All what they do was to send accommodation fee to me and pocket money anytime they have extra cash, in fact i don’t even ask them for money. My sister noticed my mode of dressing the first time she set her eyes on me and she asked the reason for my new look i lied to her that i decided to change the way i dress and remove my beards because people always run away from me when i first got admission and they were scared of associating with me. Ismaeel has already gone back to Offa, he only comes to school once in a while for his final clearance.
At the beginning of 400level first semester, Aminat try to be close to Nimat, even though am not in support of it as i don’t want my sister to be corrupt just like Aminat, i don’t want her to use her innocent outlook to deceive my sister, i was a bit cautious but i was incapacitated because if i tried to force it, i know she will want to say a lot of things to my sister, she will want to expose the person have been to my sister and she can in turn tell our parent at home. The only way i could stop her was to always be with them at every particular point in time. Aminat was becoming so nice to my sister and i couldn’t allow her to corrupt her.
300level second semester result was out and after the final result was pasted, i was already 3.49. even though i was not having any carry over but have dropped drastically as i was now in second class lower. I asked Aminat about her own result and she told me they have not released their own result. I was in my room this lovely Saturday afternoon with my sister when we started hearing strong voice, we quickly stepped outside and there i saw a man in Agbada putting on a white cap with something like bead on his two hands, standing beside him was the dean of post graduate school and some guys packing belongings that look like Aminat’s property out of her room. “omo ranu omo lasan yi, you are a disgrace to royalty, we thought you will be srious that is why we sent you down here not knowing you will come here to disgrace us”, those were the words from the man in white Agbada.
Aminat was crying as she stood somewhere in the compound, i greeted the prof and i never knew he still knows me very well. It was then he explained to me that Aminat has been advised to withdraw from school as her result fall below the acceptable limit in Unilorin. He said he was surprised when he saw her name on the list during the senate meeting and there was absolutely nothing she could do. He asked if i don’t discuss academics with her and i told her i still asked her like last week and she told me their result was not out yet. They packed everything inside her room without leaving anything behind and they zoomed off.


To Be Continued....

Read Episode 43

Did you hear about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her!Related

What is life [Read it]


Life is a gift of nature
Life is a teacher
Life is a product of deliberate plan not chance
Life is all about goals, objectives and destination
Life is about jesus
Life is all about eternity
The more we live, the more of life we appreciate.
I want to use this medium to wish you all happy new year and also to thank all who had made this site fun filled.
I love you all and happy new year.




NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Morning is the best time to plan your activities to make your dreams comes true.

Good Morning!Related

Akpos was coming back from school singing out loud and dancing like nobody stuckshop.


His parents were wondering why Akpos was so happy and decided to ask him.


PARENTS:  My son I have never seen you in this mood in a long while. Any good news to share..?


AKPOS : Mum and dad, next year you wouldn’t be buying any textbook, notebook or any study material


PARENTS: That’s my boy. Why, did you win a scholarship?


AKPOS : No..! I’m repeating the same class again.






NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-15 17:59:05

382 Views



fun quote [Read it]


1.if money doesn't grow on trees,then why do bank have branches ?
2.The Sun doesn't produce heat for itself and the moon never go for honeymoon?
3.Do fishes ever go tasty?
4.when they say dogs food is new and improved,who tasted it ?
5.why birds don't fall of trees when they sleep ?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-04 09:40:27

327 Views




LETTER OF LEAVING SCHOOL.
Daer Sir
I'm writter this letter with haters and tell you that
I'm leave your school for good enough.
The why of the leave it is because at your
school, the teachers are beat us very harmful
and very sad. Sometimes one day of once upon a
time, I wanted to cried but my friends telled me
a man is a sheep he is not a cry. I was silent but
vibrating in and out.
Another why is because of discriminate, we
writted a test and I'm cheated, I get 20% that I'm
not deserved. The teachers says my head is
dead. Oh, it pained me too much.
I will tell you plenty things when you want us
early in the morning but Sir you must know it is
very ice in the morning, blanket is not want to be
removed from body, I wake up early but I am
come late. I'm write exzam study at another
school.
Great your wife and childish. Pliz tell all childs of
school that I'm say good bye for ever and ever
amen.
Your's faithfool
Solo
REPLY FROM THE PRINCIPAL.
Jesu....dis guy are a first classed idiot...only an
letters he cant written comfortedly..this was
some insult on top of my schooling
respectation..I knows all the types of teachers
on this our schools carry a PHD inside their
curse on the uniferzity...and he even have some
of the rights to told me to great the childish on
the schools...ehhh maybe he are a cultish
boy..he wanted to implication this childrens
inside his cultness..I am really unbearable
towards this letter..Mtchee I guessed him are
repeated elementary six..Infact as a matter on
fats, I have sack you as a student..nunsince..
Yours principality
Mr. Fejiro.
Don't laugh alone,carry person join body b4 u go
laugh o


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-06 08:50:57

492 Views



foolish chemist [Read it]


Akpos Goes Into A
Chemist, Reaches Into His
Pocket And Takes Out A
Small Bottle And a
Teaspoon. He Pours Some
Liquid Into The Teaspoon
And Offers It To The
Chemists Assistant.
"Could You Taste This,
Please? The Chemists
Assistant Takes The
Teaspoon, Puts It In His
Mouth, Swirls The Liquid
Around and Swallows It.
Does It Taste Sweet? Asked
Akpos. No, Not at All Says
The Chemists
Assistant."Good ," Says
Akpos. The Doctor Told Me
To Come Here And Get My
Urine Tested For Sugar.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-10 18:11:15

801 Views



A DRUNKARD [Read it]


A drunk left the pub late one night;he staggered in absolute stupor and fell asleep among the "tombstones of the cemetery".
The next morning when the church bells began to ring,he crawled out and looked at the "tombstone" and exclaimed "HOLY MOSES!,IT'S RESURRECTION DAY AND I'M THE FIRST ONE UP".


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-09 01:05:41

618 Views



Bad Life [Read it]


Ur Mum Is Using A Nokia Torchlite Wit Broken Screen And Rubberband Holding The Battery And D Phone Together And Ur Gf Has Changed Fone Twice Last Year, Now She Is Usin Galaxy Note4, U Bought Her An Iphone6 For Valentine All From Ur Account Savings And U Sit Dere Singing "swt Moda I No Go Forget U" The Thunder Dat Will Strike U Is Still Doin Push Ups


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-15 13:06:56

196 Views




Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great.

~ Mark TwainRelated

Three girls [Read it]


Three girls died and went 2 heaven at d gate st peter and one obedient angel was their. st peter asked them wot make u think u can enter heaven.the first one said.'i was good when im on earth,infact im a virgin before i got married and after i married i was stil a virgin'.st peter replied.'very good angel give her d golden key'.the second said.'i was good when im on earth,i was a virgin b4 i got maried,bt i los virginity'.st peter replied.'very good angel give her d silver key'.the third one said.'i was nt gud at all,i went around having sex wit who ever dat i see'.st peter replied very good,angel give her my room key'.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-05 00:36:16

9107 Views




Beauty is ageless, Love is boundless;

Heartbeats are countless, a friend like you is brainless!

Oops! Shameless!

Sorry Useless!

Shit, what’s the right word?

.

..

Oh yeah, Priceless!Related

A mum was lucky enough tosee
her three daughters wed in the
same year, so she whispered to
each of them "After your
weddings,text me your first
night experience and don't forget to text it in a coded way!"
After a week, the first daughter
sent 'NESCAFE' inan sms 2 her
mum while a week later, the
second sent 'BENSON'. Their
mum, as a 'soji woman' picked upa tin of Nescafe and read from
d label "fantastic till dlast drop!"
She also went to her husband's
pack of Benson cigarettes and
found written on it "Extra long,
king size!" she thought aloud "not too badfor them at their
age"
A few days later, her third
daughter's text comes in,"Arik:
Lagos - Kano!". So Mama calls
Arik Air information desk to inquireabout their Kano to
Lagos flight. She was told, "Its 3
times daily, 7 days a week and
the flight duration is 75 minutes
to and fro!"
Mama throws herself in theair, lands, slumps and faints
shouting..."Yeeeeee! Eleyi ma pa
mi lomo O! ( this one will kill my
daughter!)"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-20 15:34:16

314 Views




Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art.

-Stanislaw Jerzy LecRelated

Tunde: i hope Desmond did not hurt her?
Alfred: didn't you see him?
Ayo: since you were the one who run after him
Alfred: will you stop acting like you care
Tosan: why will you say that we don't care?
Alfred: if you boys cared;you would had go after him
Tunde: you are not serious
Alfred: i am because i am not telling you anything(she walked away)
Ayo: you are so unbelievable
Tosin: i don't seem to understand him (curtain)

Alfred: young ma;what is wrong with you?
Desmond: nothing;i just can't believe i embarrassed her like that. i didn't mean to but she push it too far
Alfred: i understand why you reacted that way
Desmond: but what i did was wrong,i wouldn't have.....
GEORGINA: what is it that you have done?
Alfred: he did nothing
Georgina: am not asking anything from you
Alfred: this is not the right time for all this;all he needed now is a shoulder to cry on not someone to nag him
Georgina: i should give him by shoulder?is okay;i will on the ground that he take that which he gave to Stephanie back. excuse me(exit Georgina)
Alfred: (to Desmond)is okay;i know you will get through it no matter what problem you have;you always get through it
Desmond: is alright thank you for been my friend l. the one who always stand by me through all my odd deeds (at front of school library)
Georgina: woman(she slapped her)
Stephanie: why did you slapped me
Georgina: for been a traitor and for stealing a kiss from my betroth
Stephanie: is that what he told you?
Georgina: no one told me;i saw you at the school canteen
Stephanie: and you jump to conclusion that i was the one at fault. do you know what?i don't care whatever you think. you and your betroth should stay away from me;most especially you
Georgina: if i don't what will you do?
Stephanie: whatever i will do is in my mind
Georgina: and i also don't forget;those boys are still alive
Stephanie: i don't want anything from you;stay away from me(she walked away)
Georgina: so you now have the mind to walk away from me?okay;we will see(curtain)
(at Stephanie's apartment)
Anita: today was a stressful day(Stephanie was crying)and i don't know why MR Ali is always making life difficult for someone?
Ann: hey Anita;what is wrong with Stephanie?why is she crying?
Anita: this thing is getting out of hand,Stephanie(she screamed her hand)what is wrong with you?
Stephanie: (she wiped her tears)nothing;when did you girls come in?
Anita: that shouldn't be the question. the question is why are you crying?i dont seems to understand you. sometimes you seen lost in your own thought;if you do have a problem just speak it out
Stephanie: i don't have any problem is just that i sometimes do missed my family. that is while
Ann: everyone does missed their family but that doesn't make than share tears or make them isolate themselves from others. fine;sometimes we want to stay on our own but we ended up hurting others;just as you are doing

Stephanie: but i never did hurt anyone because i didn't remember at any point in my life dragging anyone into my problem
Anita: fine;so you have a problem?
Stephanie: did i say i have a problem?
Ann: even if you denial it;is still written over your face

Stephanie: will you girls just give me a break
Anita: why should we?when you are hurting yourself
Stephanie: i am not;anyway i have a lecture to go
Ann: if you say so;take care of yourself
Stephanie: i will goodbye (exit)
Ann: i just hope;she is okay(curtain)
(enter Desmond/Brown)
Brown: young man;are you alright
Desmond: am fine ma;why do you asked?
Brown: sometime;it seems i don't know you because you are not that cheerful boy that i used to know;you seen lost in your own world. are you having problems
Desmond: i am fine;i don't have any problem;even if i have;there is none that i can't handle
Brown: if you say so but just remember that their is always someone out there that is ready to listen to you
Desmond: don't worry i am fine;i can take care of myself
Brown: alright then
Desmond: thank you ma;i am grateful for all the love and care you show that my mom haven't show me
Brown: don't be ridiculous;your mom love you and my love for you can never be compare to your mom's love for you
Desmond: don't worry;i was just joking. i will go ahead
Brown: please wait;what about Stephanie?its been long i saw her,did she travel?
Desmond: no;she didn't
Brown: do you two have a problem?
Desmond: no;is just that she is busy with school work
Brown: okay;i will just go ahead also but if you see her in school,tell her i want to see her
Desmond: don't you have her number?you can just call
Brown: i don't;can you give it to me?
Desmond: sure;here it is
Brown: thank you very much
Desmond: you welcome (curtain)
(at school in law department)(enter lecturer)
Nike: good day class
All student: good day sir
Nike: today we are going to talk about marriage under sociology. as you all know that in all societies;arrangement exist for the social recognition of who may legitimately be mate and with whom,these we regard as marriage. that of the social recognition of mating maybe of some importance which probably outweighed in most society;by legitimating the children,which is giving them a social recognition;an identity;a name;membership of a socially recognised group and also some obligation of who will support them and their mother. and you also find out in some societies they have a system of marriage which they regard has legitimate and illegitimate. for example;if some certain right has not been made by the man to the family member of the woman,the children of that woman is regarded as illegitimate or has locally say;if a girl get pregnant for a boy and her parent tell her to leave their family house and she have no option than to go live with the boy that if he accepted her,if both of they make more babies including the first one,these children will be regarded has illegitimate while those that are legitimate are those that their parent went through the right process of becoming man and wife. are you all following?
All student: yes sir

Nike: so far on what we have been discussing;if you were to define marriage;how will you define it?
All student: marriage is.....
Nike: hey stop;when everybody is talking no body is talking. don't worry i will pick someone to tell me;the young lady sitting at the fourth seat in middle of those two boys
Chioma: me sir
Nike: yes;are you not the only one sitting in the middle of two boys in that roll?now answer my question
Chioma: marriage is the union of man and woman in only matrimony
Nike: you know sometimes i begin to wonder if people will ever get pass the elementary aspect of their life;don't get me wrong;she is correct but that definition is for children not adult. so please can someone else give me a good definition;yes madam Elo
Elo: marriage is.......
Nike: no;i am sorry;tap that young lady close to Precious(Precious tap Stephanie)Young lady;you are sleeping in my class
Stephanie: i am sorry sir
Nike: sorry for your stupid self;what is that your name?
Stephanie: my name is Stephanie

Nike: now i remember you are the young lady that attended the school competition
Stephanie: yes sir
Nike: so;is it because you come out second best in that competition that make you feel that you are so intelligent that you can sleep in my class
Stephanie: i am sorry
Nike: sorry for your worthless self
Stephanie: thank you sir
Nike: i don't care how you feel;anyway that is by the way;now tell this entire class all you know about marriage
Stephanie: okay sir;marriage is regarded as traditional conceive to legally recognised relationship between an adult male and female;that carry out a certain rights and obligation. however in a contemporary society;marriage is sometimes interpreted more liberally and the phrase indicating living as married couple indicate that for many it make no sense exclude cohabitation. it should also be noted that even liberal definition usually excluded homosexual couples and they are two type of marriage which is monogamy and polygamy. monogamy restrain the individual to one spousal at a time while polygamous norms permit plural marriage and take form of either of polygamy allow a man to marry two or more wives or of polyandry one wife and two or more husband and there is also a fourth type of marriage which is usually called group marriage in which there is both plural wives and husband in the marital unit is very rare and in all know case the one pair in the marital group take precedence over others. monogamy is permitted in all society;although polygamy is preferred in most societies because people frequently associate it with shortage of men;although this is not necessary the case. multiple wives are sometimes a form of conspicuous consumption a sign of affluence because of welfare and the more hazardous occupational pursuit of males primitives societies often have predominance of female. this place the male in a very high level in female (she stop)
Nike: thank you but next time don't you ever sleep in my class
Stephanie: yes sir
Nike: now let's move ahead;we will discussed society and culture in our next class. so as far as i am concerned this class is over
All student: thank you sir
Nike: and you(to Stephanie)see me in my office
Stephanie: yes sir(exit Nike)why did he want to see me(to Chioma)
Chioma: i don't know but you should be careful because all i know;that man used to sleep with female student
Stephanie: but why would he want to have an affair with someone;that is not pretty like me?
Chioma: and who said you are not pretty?

Stephanie: i know i am not;let me go and see why he want to see me
Chioma: take care and be very careful
Stephanie: okay bye(she went to Nike's office) good evening sir
Nike: yes young lady;what can i do for you?
Stephanie: i am sorry sir;you asked me to see you in your office



READ MORE.....



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EPISODE 5

She slept under the avocado tree that
night.
At some point her younger brother, after
he’d brought her things and sneaked her
some jollof rice wrapped in a plastic bag,
told her to now come inside that their
mother had slept.
They gathered her things quietly and with
one careful step after another, they crept
toward the house.
Like a ghost, the night-darkened image of
Onyiudo Ekemma appeared before them at
the veranda, momentarily stopping their
hearts.
She called the boy ‘nwoke obioma’, held
him tightly by the hand and pushed him
through the corridor.
She turned up the lantern in her left hand.
Mma’s teary eyes glistened in the yellow
glow.
‘Mama, biko, please forgive me,’ she said.
Onyiudo Ekemma stared at her with an
expression close to what’s expected of
someone addressing a thief, one caught in
the act of shameful and petty stealing.
‘Mama? Please, bikozienu.’
‘Bia, nwata, disappear from this place
before I kill you here and kill myself!’
Later that evening, she told her fellow
women during their Ezinne meeting that the
devil had finally penetrated her house,
using her daughter as a tool. They hissed,
hummed and sighed, consoling her.
In the morning, Nwa-amulu-na-mma wiped
dust off her long gown and walked to
Nkechi’s shop. She hadn’t opened so she
sat on the paved space before the shop
door and waited.
Soon Nkechi’s round figure appeared on
the wide ebe-ato road. Her long-roped
recharge card bag was slung across her like
a pageantry sash.
She walked slowly, twisting this way and
that in her peculiar duck-like gait. She
hummed to Onyeka Onwenu’s ‘Onye Ihem
na Ewe Iwe’ while popping sounds made by
chewable gum burst out from her mouth
once in a while.
Mma rose and waited, all the while wishing
she could throw some sort of magical rope
round her big waist and yank her to the
front of the shop.
‘Good morning,’ she greeted as Nkechi
finally arrived.
‘Morning, Nwamma.’ She shot her a
suspicious look, still humming and popping
gum.
‘This one you are here so early, hope there
is no problem.’
Mma shook her head. ‘No problem. I just
want to make a call.’
Now Nkechi stopped humming.
‘You want to make a call?’
She nodded. ‘Yes.’
‘To who? Who do you know that you want
to call?’
Mma scowled at her. ‘Do you not make
calls again or has Echezona collected his
phone back?’
Nkechi’s face changed suddenly, from
condecending to defensive.
‘The phone is now mine. Whatever that is
given in dating goes with the dating.’
‘Anugo m, can I make the call now?’
‘Won’t I sweep my shop?’
‘No, it’s urgent.’
She gave her a slow look before she started
to open her bag.
She brought out a big Nokia phone.
‘Call the number.’
Mma carefully unfolded the paper she’d
written down his number on.
She’d protested when he told her to have it,
to call him whenever she needed anything.
‘But I don’t having a phone to call you, Sir,’
she’d said to him.
He told her she could use a public center
and promised to get her a phone on his
next visit.
‘Ok, calling the number, Sir,’ she finally
said to him.
‘Won’t you write it down somewhere?’
‘Calling it. I writing it in my head.’
He looked at her, first in surprise and then
defeat.
She got home and wrapped the N10,000
he’d given her in a plastic bag. She tore
out a paper and wrote down the numbers.
As Nkechi entered the digits, her face fully
focused like one working with a delicate
stock analysis software, Mma felt an urge
to grab her and shake her to activity.
‘Take, it’s ringing now.’
She took the phone from Nkechi. It felt
heavy, not like Nnanna’s when he’d given it
to her to look at. ‘Ha, NKechi, this your
phone heaving o, it using Tiger battery?’
Nkechi hissed and told her in Igbo that ‘her
money has started counting.’
‘Don’t worry, I having money,’ she replied
her in English. ‘I –‘ A male voice came from
the phone, taking away her attention.
‘Yes. Halo to you too.’
A pause.
‘Is me, Nwa-amulu-na-mma.’
‘Yes, Mma, yes.’
Her voice was loud and Nkechi stared at
her with the amused face people used to
watch village people displaying.
Mma’s face dulled.
‘I having serious thing to tell you now o.’
‘Reallys very serious o.’
She turned her eyes and saw Nkechi
staring. She waved.
‘Go and sweeping your shop now! Abi you
wanting to entering inside the phone?’
Back to the phone. ‘No, no minding her. Is
one village girl doing call in Ebe-ato. I
using her phone to call you.’
Her already high voice went even higher.
‘Ehe, shebi you saying you buying me
phone and I not having seen the phone o.’
A small pause and a large smile popped
out of her face.
‘Oh, reallys? You buying me the phone next
week?’
She looked at Nkechi, now bent over with a
broom, to be sure she’d heard. It appeared
she did but pretending she hadn’t with her
absolute concentration in the sweeping.

To Be Continued.

>>

Alcoholic: A person who drinks more than you!Related

Abeg,the last person who escaped from hell fire and forgot to
lock the gate should kindly go back and lock the gate so we can
at least be relieved of this extreme and excess heat.
If na transport fare the person no get I go volunteer to pay the
transport fare.
Na beg we dey beg oooooo.
Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-01 23:30:14

188 Views




Akpos' First day in a new Secondary School.
Teacher: There will be an elementary science test
next week. Contrary to his nature, Akpos reads
his book from cover to cover like no man's
business. On test day, teacher lines up about 5
birds, covering each with a piece of cloth so only
their legs are visible. Question 1: Looking at the
leg of a bird write down its' common name,
species, family, zoological name, habitat etc. After
about 20mins of frustration and not writing down
anything, Akpos storms to the teacher's desk and
slams his blank sheet in front of the teacher. 'Sir,
this test makes no sense! I am going home!'
Teacher: What a rude boy! Come back here. What
is your name? Akpos raises his trouser and
points to his leg: 'Oya u too, look my leg na, tell
me my name, my surname, where I dey live,
which tribe I come from.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-21 12:28:13

2436 Views




The past of eat is ate and the future of ate is…

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.

Weight.

And the most funny part is that people realise it when its TOO LATE!Related

Akpos bursts into the house, &ldquoaddy! My CGPA is 4.78!”

The father is amazed and says “This calls for a party.”

The father takes Akpos on a ride around town to shopping malls and Eateries.

He spends all he has including his Month end salary.

The father thought to himself, “At least I celebrated my son’s success even if I’m eventually broke.” When they got home, Akpos shows his result to his Father.

His father looking stunned, angrily snares at his son, “WHAT IS THIS? I thought you said you had a First Class? But what I’m seeing on your result is a Third Class!”

Akpos, who is smiling sheepishly, suddenly shouts, “APRIL FOOL DAD!!!”

Akpos is currently on admission at the Emergency Unit of the General Hospital.

Akpos bursts into the house, &ldquoaddy! My CGPA is 4.78!”
The father is amazed and says “This calls for a party.”
The father takes Akpos on a ride around town to shopping malls and Eateries.
He spends all he has including his Month end salary.
The father thought to himself, “At least I celebrated my son’s
success even if I’m eventually broke.” When they got home, Akpos shows
his result to his Father.
His father looking stunned, angrily snares at his son, “WHAT IS THIS?
I thought you said you had a First Class? But what I’m seeing on your
result is a Third Class!”
Akpos, who is smiling sheepishly, suddenly shouts, “APRIL FOOL DAD!!!”
Akpos is currently on admission at the Emergency Unit of the General Hospital.
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