Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Remember so many people are landlord of cementry, lots are tenant of mortuary, many more are candidates of obituary, yet you are worshiping as in a sanctuary,


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-03 21:53:14

318 Views




charging gallery








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-04 16:17:05

644 Views




BROKEN SEAL
Episode 2

I woke up pretty late today,
took my bath, toasted some
bread for myself before leaving
for samuel’s house. He’s the
only friend i’ve got in Manila-
for now!!!
As usual, we did some hanging
outs, went to the cinema and
other cool places. Manila is
such a great city and a place
you’d love to be, but be ready
to spend cash!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hours ran to days, days
eventually travelled to weeks.
I’d be having my first day at
work today.
Its unlike me to wake earlx,
but i did today. Hey i need to
create a good impression, first
days matter alot you know.
I quickly took my bath, got
clad in black tux with nice pair
of shoes. My hair is pretty long
and brown, I dressed it
backwards, making a perfect
cop-style.
I didn’t have a hard time
locating DE COSTA SHOE
COMPANY LTD, i had the
address and also have been
here before(with samuel)
samuel’s dad is a big share
holder in the company.
My director introduced me to
some of thd workers, he also
showed me my office. I’m to
head the marketing
department. My secretary rose
is a beautiful young lady in her
early twenties, she should be
about 5’6 from the ground.
My first day at work was better
than i envisaged, it was cool,
had a nice launch, made new
friends and work hours aiint
that hectic.
I came back from work, made
dinner then rested for a while
before going to bed. This
became my status-quo for over
a month, what a boring life
right? You can say that again.
But something interesting
happened a month after i
started working.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I came back from work, feeling
tired, i had a very hectic
day;lots of people to attend to,
pile of documents to sign, to
mention but a few. It was
worth it, i received my
paycheck today!!
I was really hungry, i went
straight to my room, and took
my bath. I thought i’d be
having some cool drinks and
snacks, but when i opened the
fridge it was drier than sahara
yuck!!!
I don’t have much foodstuffs
in the kitchen either.
I decided to do some
shopping, common i just
recieved my paycheck.
I boarded a cab, first went to
metro bank to cash my money,
then straight to the
supermarket.
I collected a shopping trolley
and started doing what
brought me here.
I got some soft drinks, snacks
and other stuffs.
I felt am forgeting something,
i tried hard to remember what
it was, my efforts were almost
proven abortive, until….. ahah i
remember, its perfume! The
one at home is almost
exhausted.
I pushed the trolley to ‘perf
and cosmetic shelve’ i searched
for my favorite calvin klein
(CK) perfume, but couldn’t find
it.
Oh sh!t not now that am
hungry, i must get this perf,
else i won’t leave. How can a
place as big as this not have
simple CK perfume? They aiint
up to international standard as
they claim mtcheeew
to say i was disappointed
would be a great
understatement. I turned to
leave when i percieved the
perfume from an angle;CK had
been my favorite ever since i
was a kid, my olfactory lobe
reacts to it, down to a radius of
20km (lol), facing the direction
in which the sweet scent is
emanating from, i sighted the
perf in the hands of a young
beautiful lady, i wasn’t
surprised ‘coz CK is unisex. I
walked up to her, but sincerely,
i didn’t know why.
Me: hi miss
lady: hi (turning her face away
from me)
me: uhm….is that CK you are
holding? (what a question!)
lady: sorry, am allergic to
strangers.
She replied and took a few
steps away from me, how
rude!!!
I eventually picked the
perfume i needed, never knew
they were stocked only in one
place.
I was too hungry to go home
with an empty stomach, i went
to the eatery section and
ordered for some Adobo( a
philippine food, made of
chicken and some delicious
spices) and orange squash.
I scoffed the food, paid off
and head to the cashier’s desk,
where i’d be paying for the
stuffs i bought.
I met a cue of about 6 people,
i quickly joined, making the
7th person. It was then i
noticed that same i met
minutes arrogant lady was in
front of me….i knew ‘coz of her
green gown, long dark and
lovely hair.
The arrogant lady was taking
too much time with the
cashier, whats wrong? Why the
loud word battle?
Mefeigning anger) are we
gonna stand here all day?!!!
Cashier: sorry sir…..this lady
here don’t…….
Arrogant lady: (cut her short)
never mind, i’d step away for
now.
Its now my turn to pay, i gave
the cashier my debit card.
Me: whats wrong with that
lady?(pointing)
cashier: she claim to have lost
her debit card, we do get this
kinda theives everyday, i’d
make sure the guards give her
some dose of unforgettable
lessons.
Me: (in my mind)
hahahahaahaha i’m gonna pay
an arrogant girl in her coins
today!!!!!


>>

I stored my girlfriend’s number with her name on my phone o. This morning, I decided to call and check on her to knowhow she is doing. As I scrolled to her number and called, a voice said;you have insufficient credit to make this call, please recharge and try again. I checked my account balance to confirm this, it was true, so, I borrowed my neighbour’s phone to make this call.This neighbour of mine is my close pal o.Someone that we played with pant in thestreets together when we were growing up. Very reliable guy-man he is.As I dialed my girlfriend’s number on his phone, do you know what appeared on the screen? ”MY LOVE”. I started wondering; how did the phoneknow that the owner of the number is mylover?When I asked my friend how the phone knows that the owner of that number is my love, my friend told me that this is what all this new phones do nowadays o!.So technology has gotten to this level? White people are really trying o! We are really movingforward oh…technology, thank you ohhhhh!.One word for Akpors?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-28 14:29:30

772 Views




SAND=>WRITE UP BY DINDY
do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission,thank you for reading this write up...

Sand a part of us,we were made from it and we shall one day turn to it,sand is more than it looks,it is very important to adults and kids.
Kids play with sand very much but some of them do not know that it will be what might actually feed them in future.I remember when I was a kid I played with sand,and believe me it was totally fun,we would get a can and use it as a pot to cook sand with no fire(mehn to be a kid is an awesome thing),the experience I had with sand as a kid was awesome,I am sure some peoples' experience might be different,(anyone who never had the chance to play with sand as a kid has missed a lot).
Sand is still fun to play with even at adult stage;when you play football or basket ball in sandy areas you will see that there is fun in it. Why do you think beach is fun?,do you think its only because of the sea or the air or the sweet smell of the ocean?.
When you play on sand with the one you love you will understand that sand is not just little sharp and shiny or dusty substance,they are life, they give life,If no sand then we won't have all the food we have now,the buildings won't be possible,some plates won't be made,glasses won't be made. Sand is the base root of the earth,it's also a home for the little creatures likes; the ants and worms......etc. Sand helps alot,for example: when you play or roll on sandy area injuries are less.
Sand teaches us something about togetherness;they are little but they can build industries,cities,hills,homes,roads,pillars,bridges,walls and life. They are little but they are the most important thing that makes life to be alive.
The question I ask now is why can't we be like sand?,why can't we think like sand?,why can't we behave like sand?,why can't we act like sand?,why can't we be sand?.believe me if we start to be like sand and behave like them then there will be nothing like problems in our lives,life would be absolutely wonderful,life would be incredible,life will be easy and fast,life will be in a different dimension for us.
TOGETHERNESS IS THE BEST WAY TO SURVIVE IN LIFE SO MY PEOPLE BE LIKE A SAND......................WRITE UP BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI.........whatsapp number:07087750433.... [email protected]@gmail.com or [email protected] facebook namessy nnamdi.......Skype: 07087750433 or [email protected]:@nnamdiossy









NAIRAJOKES.COM




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akpors and his wife sent their child to study in abroad. the child sent them a letter saying
letter/: daddy and mummy I love you all but the problem is that when I will come back to nigeria you two might be too old. so that is why I bought a portion that will make you young again. Thank. pls remember it is just a drop of the liquid.
Akpors wife saw the portion and took a drop and she got young.
Five years later the child came back and saw her now young mum with a baby boy on her back.
child:hi mum u are beautiful how are u.
mum:fine and you.
child : same..... how is dad.. is he as young as you.
mum:hmm your dad was too jealous when he saw how beautiful I was after taking the portion. so he drank the whole bottle.
child: so where is he
mum: who do you think is the child on my back.

Lolz one word for akpors


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-07 22:37:48

604 Views



BREAKING NEWS [Read it]


BREAKING NEWS:the federal government of nigeria has announced that today is thursday 25th of june 2015,and tomorrow is Friday 26th of june 2015..thanks for listening..no public holiday


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-25 14:22:25

697 Views




A son took his old father to a restaurant for
evening dinner. Father being very old and weak, while eating, dropped food on his shoes and trousers. Other diners watched him in disgust while his son was calm.
After he finished eating, his son who was
at all embarrassed, quietly took him to the wash room, wiped the food particles, remove the stains, combed his hair and fitted his spectacles firmly. When they came out, The entire restaurant was watching them in silence, not able to grasp how someone could embarrass themselves publicly like that. Son settled the bill and started walking with his father.
At that time, an old man amongst the diners called out to the son and asked him, “Don’t you think you have left something behind?”.
The son replied, “No sir, I haven’t”.
The old man retorted, “Yes, you have! You have left a lesson for every son and hope for every father”.
The restaurant went silent.


Moral: To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors. We all know, how our parents cared for us for every little thing, Love them, respect them, and care for them also. #Davidloaded#



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Ek Line Jo Ladko Aur Ladkiyo Ka Dil Raat Ko 2 Bje Bhi Tod Sakti Hai….

….

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….

….

….

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….

….

….

“The number you have dailed is busy on another call plz try again later”Related

Akpos: Baby, I'm gonna tell you a story with 4 parts. Remember that, 4 parts!
Ekaitte: "Alright love..."
Akpos: "Okay, I'm gonna start with part 1. There was a husband and a wife, they were driving to a campsite when they came upon a split road. The husband says "let's take the left one."The wife says "I think we should take the right road." The husband slaps the wife across the face "who's driving, me or you?" and they take the left path."
Ekaitte: Hahahahahahahahaha
Akpos: Now i'm gonna tell you part 2. Once they get to the campsite the husband goes fishing so his wife can cook their dinner. He comes back and the wife says "good now I can cook fish soup for us to eat!" The husband says "but I wanna eat fried fish" The wife slaps the husband across the face and says "who's cooking me or you?!" and they end up drinking fish soup.
Ekaitte: Oh crap! Hahahahahahahahahaha
Akpos: Now I'm gonna tell you part 4
Ekaitte: What about part 3?
Akpos: [Landed Ekaitte hot slap across the face] who's telling the story me or you!
(We'll update you as soon as we're able to stop the fight)


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-30 12:23:36

741 Views




A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.

The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, “Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don’t think it’s fair. There were plenty of other cars around me going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?”

“Ever go fishing?” the policeman suddenly asked the man.

“Ummm, yeah… so,” the startled man replied.

The officer grinned and added, “Ever catch ALL the fish?”Related

akpos wife [Read it]


A guy sits in a taxi and sees his wife
entering a hotel with another man,and tells
the driver "do you want to earn $500 right
away?". The driver excitedly said "what
do I have to do?", "Bring my wife by the
hair out of that hotel, here's a picture of
her".After a while the driver is seen
dragging a woman by the hair,
whilekicking and beating her and puts her
in the Taxi. And the husband says to him,
"this is not my wife" The driver replied
"Nooooo, this is mine, hold her for me. I'm
going to bring yours ..


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-29 11:50:04

2073 Views




Pappu Is Dating With His New Girlfriend In Hotel Room.



Girl Friend: “I Demand Good Manners In Bed, Just Like At The Dinner Table”



Pappu Climbs Into Bed Slowly & Says: “Honey, Would You Pass The Balls Please?“Related

A MAN'S PAST=>WRITE UP BY DINDY
do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission,thank you for reading this write up...


My past is a thing not to remember; says a man with a bad past,my past is a wonderful and lovely thing that I wish not to forget; says a man with a good past.
When a man/woman lives life right he/she will never have a bad past, but in some cases people live right but they always get a bad past(for example: rape or death of family and friend or you lost your job etc....)
Sometimes things are not what they seem to be,sometimes people with a good past don't wish to remember it because of the little difficulty they faced,while some people with a bad past wish to always remember it so that it can keep them moving.
To some people their past is a deep dark hole, that each time they think of it,they fall into a place of darkness,That is why some people run aways from their past and they will keep running but one thing is for sure, you can never run away from your past,it will show up one day whether you will be there to see or say it or not .
Bad past are mostly caused by rape,abuse,rejection,death,mockery or you murdered some one, or a girl/boy turned you down, or a boy/girl broke your heart, or your mum/dad never liked you, or your sister/brother did horrible things to you, or your dad/mum disowned you, or you were chase out of school, or your parent were not able to pay for your school fees, or you were once bad, or on one likes you, or you were once a nerd, or you were nothing before to anybody, or people bullied you, and so many other things.
Good past is cause by ENJOYMENT(well that is the best word for a good past), I said 'ENJOYMENT' because if you are in love(its enjoyment o), it brings good memory.
Good memory are mostly caused when you have fun or good times, fun can only be move by one thing enjoyment together with other things. And if you are doing what you love doing you will love doing it which brings happiness.
Everyone must face there past some day whether you want it or not,always learn to accept your past and try to move on with life,if you keep holding on to something that hurts you,you will end up in the same position for as long as you hold on to it, and it will affect areas of your life.
IN LIFE YOU MOST LEARN HOW TO BE A PERSON THAT CONTROLS HIS/HER PAST AND FUTURE.SO BE A WISH PERSON AND RULE YOUR WORLD AND YOUR PAST.
MY NAME IS NNAMDI AKA DINDY AND I WROTE THIS WRITE UP.LEARN FROM WHAT YOU READ NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND.THANKS FOR READING......................WRITE UP BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI.........whatsapp number:07087750433.... [email protected]@gmail.com or [email protected] facebook name:Ossy Andy Nnamdi.......Skype: 07087750433 or [email protected]:@nnamdiossy








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Snake [Read it]


A very dangerous snake, which has astonished scientists in the whole world, has been discovered today.

According to the BBC, it's a strange snake which keeps increasing 0.5 centimetre every seconds. If in any case it touches any part of its body using its head, it dies immediately.

This is the world's most dangerous and poisonous snake ever! This type of snake is available only in Nokia 1100 mobile phone devices under the game option.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-09 10:10:15

448 Views



Ma Maths result [Read it]


n secondary school, I was very
poor in Maths and Chemistry.
During exams, I'd get between
2% and 8%. The results used to
be
announced out from the lowest to the highest
marks, So I would
always be the 1st Or 2nd to be
called out. One day, the
Maths results were being
released and my name wasn't
among the first to be called out. The teacher
got to 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s &&
70s.
Still my paper had not been
called out. Everyone kept looking
at me asking " Guy wats up?
How you take do am?" And the
teacher went on to the 80s And
when
he got to 88%, He had one paper
remaining. I then asked myself, could I have
scored a 90% in
maths? I was feeling very
anxious and
happy now that I knew I had
proved the so called
genius wrong, Could I have gotten 88%? I
thought my
dreams have
been answered...
The whole class was amazed as
every one
kept looking at me. It was Unbelievable. Finally
the teacher
looked
up and said, "There is a cow that
did not write his name on the
paper that scored 0%. If you
have not received your paper come
and get it now... I FAINTED!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-03 18:47:38

681 Views



Think wisely [Read it]


Abeg if your papa nal landlord. . . . And your mama nal landlady what will you call yourself_______________


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-20 22:57:45

388 Views




One day some fisherman caught tons of fish called tench. The fisherman couldn''t eat them all so they gave them to the Mayor of the town. The Mayor wasn''t sure what to do with them. Then he had an idea; he would have a fish-eating competition. When they had the competition, there were two finalists: a man from a place called Fife, whose name was Mr. Hicks; and a man that was from Sweden, whose name is Sven. So they had the final; the Mayor fired the starting pistol and they started eating the tench. No sooner had Mr. Hicks bitten the fish than one of his teeth fell out. He couldn''t eat because of this so he stopped, but the Mayor refused to stop the competition. So Sven kept on eating and ended up eating nine of these tench fish.
The next day the headlines read: ONE TOOTH FREE FOR FIFE HICKS, SVEN ATE NINE TENCH!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-13 13:58:15

163 Views




Chemistry and His Brother
Physics with
deep sorrow announce the
death of
their father Mathematics
who died in a
serious calculation on
blackboard road
off chalk avenue. .
Agriculture has promise to
provide land
for the burial and Fine art
will decorate
the coffin.
Entrepreneurshi p and his
wife
Commerce have pledged to
provide
food and transport for the
mourners.
. CRK will pray for the soul
of the late.
History and her friend
Geography will
narrate the life story of
the late Mr
Mathematics to the
mourners.
.
English will be the master
of ceremony and Biology
will tell the mourners the
disease that killed the late.
. "I must sue his dead body
for the money
he borrowed from me" .......
.
Who made that last
statement?



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-04 02:52:59

1031 Views




When you do what you fear most, then you can do anything.

~ Stephen RichardsRelated

MY CHILDHOOD MEMORIES
.
1-When I was a child, I used to Stand by the
road with friends and choose the cars i love.
.
2-I try to step on my own shadow or be
ahead of it in the sun when it's behind me.
.
3-I always felt the trees and grasses inside
the bush were running if I'm in a moving
car.
.
4-I once Checked inside a Radio to see the
peoples talking or singing.
.
.
5-I pretend I'm sick so I can miss school
.
6-I was always happy when the government
declares a public holiday so I won't go to
school...Olodoo
.
.
7-I remember when I took the 21st position
in class out of 35, I cleaned the 2 and left the
1. Hahahaha! Idiot psalm..lolz!
.
.
9-Whenever I urinate on the bed, I will draw
my sister to my side and sleep on her own
side and i will change my cloth. May God
4giv me shaaaa !
.
10-I waited behind a door to scare
someone, then leave because they're taking
too long to come out.
.
11-I faked being asleep, so I could be
carried to bed: Chaii,small pikin...
.
12-I swallowed an orange seed and I was
scared that a tree was going to grow on my
head. Lol that day na my mom calm me
down oooooo!
.
13-I'll walk into a room, forget what I
needed, walk out, and then remember...(.too
much play.lolz)
.
.
14-I'm always afraid of picking back my
groundnut dat fell on d ground, thinkin devil
hav already eaten it....
.
.
15-When i did not sleep early unknow to me
my mum use to bang the side of wardrob
telling me that masquerade( Ojuju) is
coming then i will hide under her cloth and
there will be silent...
.
16-If i loose one of my teeth i will pick seven
stones join the removed tooth and go
outside our house, trow them on the roof
and run inside. So that the removed tooth
will germinate again......LWKMD.
.
.
You can add your own childhood memories
and let the FUN begin.#B-gof


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-16 22:41:10

356 Views



Apology [Read it]



sorry friends for not posting this weekend. my
weekend was very hectic, I traveled somewhere,
i just came back now and i am soo tired. i will
make sure that i write weekend episodes on
Thursday and Friday. please bear with me


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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See The Difference:

White girl sees a guy she likes on social media and says 'hi'

Guy: may I know a bit about you?

Girl: Oh certainly, I am Samantha, I'm 27, I
work as a system analyst with Dell, I am single with one adorable daughter. I
live at Crown Heights, London in my own
apartment... You?

.
African babe sees a guy she likes on social media and says 'hi'

Guy; Babe you look good. May I know a little about you?

Babe: What about me do you want to know?

Guy: What's your name?

Babe: Can't you see it on my profile?

Guy: How old old are you?

Babe: guess...

Guy: What do you do for a living?

Babe: See JAMB question o!

Guy: well I guess I should just leave you since you really don't wanna tell me
anything about
you

Babe: It's like you're hot-tempered! Abegiii!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-25 07:15:34

895 Views




Dad entered son’s room and found him asleep on his books, tired of exam studies. Walked closer to him, played with his hair softly, sweetly and…………* BAAAANG* slapped his face… and said;

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“last seen on whatsapp 1 minute ago” ????Related

Ade and his dad [Read it]


Ade invited his dad to the prize giving day, he was sitted beside him....
Teacher:best in maths,James Victoria
claps.....
Ade's father:Stupid child,look at that small girl getting the best maths prize.... That is a good child.
Ade:I'm sorry dad
Teacher:Best in physics,Oluwole Johnson.
Ade's fatherthis tym Ade got a hard knock on his head) That is a good child,you are always left behind...
Soon, the party ended and parents started going home with their children.....
Ade saw his class-mates entering into their parent expensive cars.....
Ade:dad,can you see those cars?
Ade's father:yes...
Ade:That is a good father.....



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-03-18 08:29:11

629 Views




I couldn’t move, i couldn’t do anything. He was inside her right infront of me. I saw myself do, was to move, yes i was just moving. I don’t know where. It was a Saturday afternoon. Around 12pm i guess. “honey im back” i went to him and touched his cheeks like he did to me before i left. Linda was stranded on him in a s-x position when i did. He couldn’t reply, he couldn’t move his body, he was stranded just like Linda. “okay let me wash then we can think of what to cook, hope you didn’t wear a lot of clothes” i said witha smile while going for his clothes. I took them outside, made the setting to wash. I came back for my phone to play music while washing. Linda was now seated on the bed when i did and she was still naked. Non of them uttered a word as i sang. ” when you love someone, you do anything, you do all the crazy things, that you cant explain…” as tears rolled down my face. Tears were flowing without any sound. I went outside began the washing. I was washing when Linda came to pass by without a word. She stood at the entrance staring at me in disbelief. I said nothing to her as she walked away.
Eventually, i was done with the washing. I went to the love of my life and asked him what he wanted me to prepare for the night. He was dump folded. “come on, why are you like this? Won’t we eat today?” i said and joined him on the bed. “whats wrong my love?” i asked but he couldn’t utter any word. “don’t worry, i know what you want, your favorite right” i joked and jump out of the bed. He loved jolof so i prepared that for our dinner, as i was cooking, Alex sent me a text saying he will still wait for me. Tears began to flow once more. I wept out my heart as i was cooking. I served him in the bed room but he refused to eat. “why are you doing this to me? Please say something. You know i cant eat without you, so please eat something” i said in plea but he couldn’t. He didn’t touch the food. “alright” i sighed and took the food back to the kitchen. I didn’t touch it too. We always eat together so, i couldn’t eat the food without him. I did everything to cheer him up that evening but he didnt respond.
He went out very early the following day and came back very late, around 8pm. I didn’t complain. He took his stuff, clothes , belongings, you know whats about to happen right? He was leaving. “hei what are yuan doing?” i snatched them from his hand and dropped them back, ” you are killing me with your silence, please let me go” he pleaded. “what are you talking about? You are the one mute here not me” i replied while staring into his eyes.a. “whats going?” i asked, as if i didn’t have a heart. He dashed out of the room to know where, well, i don’t know where he went to. I was alone so i called Alex if he could keep me company. He gladly agreed. We were just walking on campus, without saying anything. We stood under a tree when he suddenly broke the silence. “he told me what happened” GOD demn it, the engineer told him what he did? But i didn’t complain, i cant believe it. I stood quiet with tears flowing. He embraced me and tried to kiss me but i pulled away. “no, cant do that to him, i cant” i said to him calmly. I left Alex that night with disappointments written all over his face.
I met him seated on the bed when i got in. He was just seated, doing nothing. I knelt before him and took his hands, i tried kissing him but he didn’t reply. I had to stop t save the embarrassment. “alright” i said to myself, token my phone and laid my head on his lap. I began whats apping an laughing. All of a sudden i felt my head being lifted up. I saw him sweating and sobbing, as he grabbed my legs in plea “hagan im sorry” he began to wail. “what are you doing” i tried to lift him up but he couldn’t control himself. He was weeping like a baby, really weeping. “hagan please don’t ever leave me” he wept. I have never seen a guy cry like that in my life, even now… My dear, conscience can really kill. Eventually i wept too, i asked him to get up. “if i should let you, go, maybe my next companion will be a drunkard or a drug addict. Maybe he might be someone who hits a woman and i cant bear that. This might be your weakness my dear, but if you truly love me like you say, then please be strong in your weakness. I love you soo much” i said to him in tears and left the room, i did that to give him some time alone…
What do you think readers?don

>>

Akpos was sitting in church and it was time for offering, so the collection bowl was passed around. He quickly pulled N10 from his pocket and dropped it in.


Just then, the person behind him tapped me on the shoulder and handed him a N1000 note. Akpos smiled, placed the N1000 note in the bowl and passed it on, admiring the man for being so generous.


He felt another tap from behind and heard the man whisper ”son” the man said, ”That N1000 fell from your pocket.”


Akpos, who had only N1010 on him when he was coming to church, collapsed.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-13 21:42:58

353 Views




“chisooos” i jumped up pulling up my short and scampering around the sitting room for my shirt.
Amanda who looked a bit clueless and disappointed, ran upstairs to Papa’s room with her panties in her hands.

I had many things to worry about; My shirt was in Jupiter and my hard big very visible erection.
“Sky what is it naa, come and open this door na” Jessy’s voice came again sending more confusion into my head.

I was scampering left and right but achieving nothing in particular, my erection still showed and i only managed to hand my shirt on my shoulder before cracking the door open for Jessy.

“Sky whats wrong with you, why did you take all that time before opening the door? She queried casting a peering questioning look at me. I always wonder if she is trying to look into my mind when ever she looks at me that way. Their was this one time i lied to her, after she gave me that look for complete 2minutes without uttering a word i blew out all the truth to her.

“Sky talk na… Cat got your tongue?” Her voice came yet again with those mind piercing looks still on me.

“uuhm ..eeehm i.. i was doing press up” My stammering voice uttered out looking back sheepishly at Jessy who seems as if she already knows what i was hiding.

“When did you become a stammerer eeh sky. why exactly did it take you that long to open that door” she came yet again this time her eyes moved down to my crotch area then rises to my face as those mind reading gaze intensified on me.

Beads on sweat ran down my face, Jessy always had a way of finding out what she wants from me than anyone else, even the FBI would be jealous.
Its like she knows me in and out more than i even know myself.
Just a look from her will make me betray my deepest secrets.
**mtcheeeeew i hate being a twin**

“nothing biko, i just told you i was exercising” I threw back at her trying to laugh when no one have said anything funny, Only got Jessy even more curious.

“Hiaaan sky how many times have i seen you exercise in this house, here is now a basketball court?” I felt as if her hands could pierce my mind, bring out the information she needed and i shuddered at the thought.

“Bia skybeauty ozugo (its ok)” I forced out, trying to cover everything up, if this girl keeps interrogating me like FBI now, i fear i might tell.

“Jessy!!” thats definitely Amanda’s voice.
Amanda walked down the stairs with a broad smile on her face, no make up and was now clad in a blue trousers with a red top above, those boobs shaa… Ever wondered how girls could repackage wella within a twinkle of an eye.

I could feel Jessy’s eyes look from me to Amanda then to me again and Amanda again.
“Hope say this girl is not aware oo, but she cant naa she be winsh?” I assured myself sub-consciously giving a slight nod in affirmation to my thoughts.

“Good afternoon aunty” Jessy sang out, with a smile on her face as amanda came and they clasped in a light hug.
Ok even tho Jessy knows me inside out, i can still say i know her well enough to know that smile she was wearing wasn’t real but none the less i thanked Amanda for showing up when she did cus i can’t vouch for what could have happened if she didn’t.

I sheepishly carried Jessy’s bag to her room with my hands around her neck as we walked to her room, Amanda have disappeared into the kitchen to make lunch i guess.

Am sure Jessy still didn’t trust the answers i gave her but she stopped pushing for the time being am sure
. I asked her about school and about Chioma; Her roommate in school who is kinda obsessed with me, haven’t met her tho but she asks about me more than my own girl friend.
Their is never a time Jessy comes home without something from chioma, and their is no one that beats the amount of messages i get from chioma on whatsapp.

“Your wife is fine ooo, she even gave me a wrist watch for you” Jessy laughed out, she have always wanted to set me up with chioma tho i maintained aloofness.

Heading back to my room, i banged the door shut and fell down back first on the bed.
“Why dah heck did Jessy have to show up when she did?” why didnt she delay about an hour or two” I lamented.

I was a bit happy Jessy didn’t bust me or find out what happened but honestly i wont forgive her for appearing when she did and spoiling everything for me **mtcheeeeew** she didnt even tell me she was coming home.

Anyways i have an iphone6 to get tomorrow, atleast that is something to smile and look forward to.

..To be continued..

Drop you comments pleassssssssse!!!


>>

Santa took his dog to the vet for its annual check-up.

“Your dog is overweight,” the vet said. “You should cut back on his food a little and make sure he gets some exercise. Try playing fetch with him.”

“That’s impossible,” Santa replied. “I can’t play fetch with my dog.”

“Why not?” asked the puzzled vet.

“Because,” Santa said, “he can’t throw.”Related

I met my secondary school maths teacher,and he asked for the direction to zenith bank in my area. I told him to make a 2pie turn,walk for about 1.8metre(round that up 2 the nearest tens), you'll then see a shop which is perpendicular to your right,make an obtuse angle turn and you'll see the bank at a distance of about x metres of which x can easily be gotten from the log4 base2=2x. Let him feel what i felt as a student during his maths class lolzzz. Do you think the teacher can ever find the zenith bank?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-11 15:37:10

1828 Views




Who love me most episode 20

It was about 6pm the same day amara was coming back from the hospital,she has left maxwell while he was asleep,she was in the taxi when her phone began to ring,she looked to see the caller it was Sandra,she picked

Sandra :amara

Amara :yes

Sandra :where are you

Amara :am on my way home any problem

Sandra :no,how fast will you be here

Amara :very soon

Sandra key,are you alright

Amara :i am fine,i know you have heard.

Sandra :just come home let's talk okey

Amara :alright

Sandra end the call,some minutes later amara arrived home ,she open the door and found emma,sandra and chidi in the sitting room ,chidi immediately stood up when he saw amara, Amara was shocked and at the same time angry to see him,she looked at them and walked to her room without saying hi to any of them,Sandra immediately followed her.

Sandra :amara, you have to hear him out

Amara :please,don't

Sandra :amara you can't just end the relationship just like that,what if maxwell is lieing

Amara :if he is lieing then who shut him,ooooo he shut himself

Sandra :am not saying that,but you have to use your head in all this.

Amara :am really not in the mood for this

She took her luggage and started arranging her clothes in it,Sandra was surprise

Sandra :where are you going

Amara :i am going to where I can be away from here

Sandra :amara am i bothering you

Amara f course you are not but if I stay here now he will keep coming here and i don't want to see him ever

Sandra was speechless,

Amara :i really need to rest my head

Sandra :this is becoming something else

She left amara and went to meet emma and chidi

Emma :what did she say

Sandra :she is packing up her things

Emma and chidi was surprise

Emma :she is leaving

Sandra :i don't know she said she needed some space that she needs to calm her head.

Chidi went to meet Amara,

Chidi :am sorry, Amara please just find it in your heart to forgive me,i love you Amara, you can't just leave me like that,i know i haven't always been the man you wanted but I am willing to change, just give me a second chance to make things right, (just then amara starts crying )i promise you none of this will ever happen again i swear .

He kneel down holding her hands

Chidilease you are everything to me now, in just a short time i have come to love you so much,just this last chance please

Amara :chidi,why,why did you hurt me this much,

Chidi :i didn't know,please forgive me,if you want me to go apologies to maxwell i will,if you want me to do anything i will but please don't leave me,you are the different in me Amara, i beg you stay with me

Amara looked at him and raised him up.

Amara :chidi i love you too but we just don't fit,you have your own different world and i have mine, don't you see its not working

Chidi put his hand on her cheek )i will make it work this time please, i love you,please

They both starred at each other then chidi kissed her and she response

Amara :i love you more then you can imagine chidi but I need to go,i just need to be by myself for sometime.

Chidi :amara

Amara :if you really love me and you want me to be happy then let me go,if you really want my happiness then let me go,please

Chidi gave a deep breath )is that what you want

Amara :yes

Chidi:then go

Amara looked at him till in tears, she took her luggage and walked to her door, she turned and looked at chidi but he didn't turn to look at her too,as she was about to leave chidi called her, she looked at chidi who also turned to her direction

Chidi :always remember that I chidi Jonathan will always love you

She signed and left,chidi Sat on the bed bending down his head,he was hurt inside and he didn't know if he could be able to endure this pain he is feeling inside ,emma came in and sat down next to him.

Emma :she is gone

Chidi :i know

Emma :will you be fine

Chidi :i don't know

Emma :i think you need some rest

Chidi:do you really think so

Just then tear fell from chidi eyes,emma was so shocked because that was the first time he had seen him cry for so many years they have known each other, emma then knew chidi loved amara even more then he imagine

Emma :you have to stop this

Trying to console him

Chidi :amara is gone emma and she is not coming back, (he got up)i messed up emma

Emma :it wasn't your fault

Chidi :i am down emma, and i don't even know if I will be able to stand again

Emma got up)you will ,it will just take a little while.

Emma and chidi later left and went home,chidi couldn't eat that night,emma, jude and Godwin tryed all they could to cheer him up a little but nothing they did works,they were so worried about him,how they wished they had a solution to his problem, the next morning three police men came to chidi house,one of them was not wearing a police uniform,the gate was not locked,they entered and knocked at the door jude opened the door,as soon as he saw the police men he knew what they came for.

Jude:yes how can I help you

Police man:we are from the state c.i.d

Showing jude their ID card

Police man:we are looking for chidi Jonathan who lives here

Godwin who was listening quickly went to chidi room,emma was already with chidi

Godwin :some police men are outside

Chidi :we know

Godwin :so what will happen now

Chidi :nothing,

He was already dresses he got up took his phone and his car key and walked out,emma and Godwin followed him.

Chidi :i heard you are looking for me

Police man 1:are you Chidi Jonathan

Chidi :yes

Police man 1:you are under arres....

Chidi interrupted )bla,bla,bla, i already know why you are here so save me the sermon and let's go

The police mens were dumbfounded

Chidi :i will be back soon okey

They all nod

Chidi :shall we

The police gave way for him to pass .

Chidi :i will be going with my car,so is either one of you drive me or i do the driving myself

The police mens looked at themselves in amazement

Police man 1:i will go with you while you do the driving

Chidi :much better

Chidi and the police man entered his car while the two other police men first open the gate for them, after then they entered the police van that was packed outside chidi house and they drove off,Godwin, jude and emma went inside as soon as they left, they all knew i no time chidi will return after all this is not his first crime they are arresting him for so his father will always get him out.

DROP YOUR COMMENTS AND
READ NEXT EPISODE

>>

He poured cold water on me,draged me 4rm the wheel chair
Me:pls stop it
Gerald:u want me to stop uh,then pack ur things n leave my life 4 good
Me:u want me 2 leave
Gerald:ya
Me:i will leave only if i get my 2legs
Gerald:is dat it
Me:yes
Gerald:fine we'll see 2 dat
Gerald left the house,i didn't set my eyes on him again.
**
David:hi dude
Danny:big bro ur back
David:i ve a deal 4 u
Danny:wat is it
David:there is this friend of mine,who got paralysed
Danny:so wat does dat got 2 do wit me
David:pls help her walk again
Danny:her?
David:No it's not wat ur thinkin she's jst a friend
Danny:how bad is it
David:Cn't tell
Danny: ok i'll help
David:thanks bro
Danny:anytin 4 my big bro
***
God is dat how i'll end up my life?
I've never known wat is called happiness,joy,peace of mind.
David called nd told me that his kid bro is willin to help me,i felt relieve atleast i'll get 2 walk again.
I told him dat i want it 2 be a secret of which he agreed.so in a month time i'll be operated,i jst hope n pray it works.
2 B CONT.

>>

Stephanie: you want me to tell you the truth?
Desmond: yes;i want the truth
Stephanie: you are bad and too aggressive;you have hot temper which make it worse;you are so.....never mind;i just go ahead
Desmond: Stephanie;just complete it,don't get scared of me because i am not going to hurt you
Stephanie: am not sure you are not going to hurt me,when you just did
Desmond: not even a good night
Stephanie: good night(exit Stephanie)(Desmond phone ringing)
Tunde: hello;how are you?
Desmond: my main man;am fine;what is happening at home?
Tunde: nothing;how is it with your new flatmate?
Desmond: she is fine;she has just gone to bed because i knew that is the next thing you are going to asked of me
Tunde: that is true;anyway that is by the way,have you both settle your differences
Desmond: things are getting worse;even more complicated;don't worry,i will be home just two night from now
Tunde: if you say so;just take care of yourself
Desmond: you too,how is everyone?
Tunde: everyone sent their regards and your mom in school was worried sick over your absent
Desmond: i do really missed her;i will just call her and please don't tell anyone that i am sharing an apartment with her
Tunde: don't worry,your secret is safe with me (he end the call;the next morning on their way to the competition)
Desmond: Stephanie;how was your night?
Stephanie: was it just now you saw me?
Desmond: am sorry;i was a little distracted. that is why
Stephanie: anyway please drive a little faster because we are getting late
Desmond: but then you haven't answer my question?
Stephanie: please;i don't want to talk about it
Desmond: why don't you want to talk about it?
Stephanie: nothing;is my choice to do whatever i like;isn't it?
Desmond: was it because of what happen last night?
Stephanie: give me a break;i thought you said,'i should block my ears,whenever you are talking' that is what i am trying to do
Desmond: are you such a hard nut to crack?
Stephanie: please;we are already here;i want to come down
Desmond: the door is open;so you can get down(she walked away)she is such a pain in my flesh(inside the hall)
MRS Ophelia: today been the last day of the competition. it is to be in the final but it also very interesting to be the one who will win the competition for your school
MR IKE: it's a nice day and a huge success to everyone;even if you win or loss;you have still made your family and school proud for getting this far
MR Unbelievable: so lets start from where we stop but since it is a fresh day;i wish all of you success
MRS Ophelia: first person is miss Stephanie Dave
Stephanie: good day sir
MR Unbelievable: here is your question for the day;has a Nigerian;we find out that children are been celebrated;that is why a particular day has been set outside to acknowledge them;so what do you think about our country and their responsibility towards children in Nigeria?
Stephanie: as a Nigerian i wouldn't say the country is bad and because i am a Nigerian i won't also say Nigerian is perfect. there are millions of people living in Nigeria which means Nigeria comprises of different families and because we have different families in Nigeria and sometimes we will not be able to control our family affairs;talk more of controlling the entire families in a country. that is while when we talk about Nigeria children been celebrated once in a year;which is may 27,even the so called annual celebration that is been organized by each state by the federation doesn't go round as it parades and it is only enjoyed mostly by the high and mighty but to the children of the masses;may 27;is like every other day of the year;a normal day for an average Nigeria child;such children as always see himself like an adult already when he is still a kid getting to know what life is really all about,he did not only have to worried about attending a school that lack many necessary amenities but also have to hawk on the street and do other odds jobs to also assist his parent. they hawk and roam in the street,some even fall prey to antics of social miscreants. meaning as a sovereign country;this Nigeria children are suppose to be treated with care and protected by right,which is to ensure his basic needs are meet but on the contrary;the law does not cater for the welfare of the children like educating;feeding;sheltering;protection and so on and that is why i have come to a conclusion that Nigeria children should be care;instead of just acknowledging the fact that a day has set outside for them,not that i am saying its wrong but there should be more involve in making Nigeria children's dreams come true because there are some that has dreams but they can't push through with it but every individual in this country are involved. that is while they say,'divided will fall and unity will stand'
MRS Ophelia: thank you very much my baby(she step down)
MR Unbelievable: that was really a nice one. next person,is Master Desmond Jackson. your question is;has Nigerian,how well do you know your country;since independent. so lets talk about Nigeria democracy travails?
Desmond: Travail is something unpleasant that means when it is been attach to democracy,it is then regarded has the unpleasant experience and difficulties of a country. the travail if Nigeria democracy has to do with how Nigeria has been ruled since her independent till date. whether it is getting better or worse,if those that fought for independent were to be alive will they be proud of today Nigeria. it has been noted that since 1960-2005 Nigeria has about twelve different political regimes and only four were civilians and we have also practice parliamentary and presidential system without none working. the Nigeria political scene according to analysis has been characterized by uncertainties and instability;these are mainly attributed to maladministration;electoral malpractice and corruption which have now take a strong firm in the whole society. since independent Nigeria has been through a lot suffering with military always breaking each republic. the Nigeria civil war was as a result of bad governance and the struggle for liberty. first lets look at the regimes of Nigeria since independent and how they get to her fourth republic;this will help us understand government in Nigeria and its unpleasant struggle for redemption. at independent in 1960 Nigeria operate a parliamentary system of government which make Dr Nnandi Azikiwe;the governor general. in 1963;Nigeria became a republic;although has at 1960 there were political parties but 1964;the general election of some political parties merged to form a coalition;the NPC and NNDP formed NNA;while the AG and NCNC formed UPGA. the election was a boycott by many Nigeria;so that was why Tafawa Balewa become the president which make the election a total failure ;especially in the west with so many killings. although the government tried all its best to control the disorder by force but it still do not control it,which result to military in January 15 1966;a coup that kill the president;Sudan of sokoto;the governor general and even other powerful men,which make Major gen. Aguiyi Ironsi the first military government and suspended the constitution;dissolve all legislatives powers;ban all political parties but he was unable to arrest the culprits of the coup which affect the northerners mostly;this make the north suspicious of Aguiyi and the easterners which let to mass killing of the easterners in the north and give birth to the 30 months civil war. in july 29 1966 there were still enmity between the north and east. Ojukwu the governor of east declare the Biafra war on may 30 1967 but before then the country is divided into twelve state which the east has only one state(Enugu)which many the easterners real feel cheated which led to the declaration of Biafra civil war started July 6;1967 to January 11 1970. it was during this period that Gowon release Awolowo from jail and made him finance minister. in January 1975 general Muritala Muhammed took over after coup he was going to hand over to civil government before he was before he was assassinated during Dinka coup February 13 1976, and general Olusegun Obasanjo stepped in;he continued from where Mohammed stopped and overpower civil rule which make Shehu Shagari the first executive president of Nigeria in October 1st 1979 but he did not work hard;this led to strike of one union to another and country was in great foreign debt,the legislative increase their salaries. he was re-sworn in and he still do nothing;the country was falling apart which led to the taken over of general Muhammed Buhari took over in December 1983;then everyone was happy that military has come to save the country but it is the other way round;it was enemy of the press and nothing like human right. in August 27 1985,IBB overthrew the governor and became a military governor;he created more state;conducted 1991 census;moved FCT to Abuja and set up national electoral committee in 1992 for third republic for civilians to take over;only two parties were present with 23 candidates together at the primaries but it failed as a result of rigging and bribery INEC Humphrey came up with the option A4 method of election and it was used for any election. in June 12 1993 MKO win the presidential election and it was most peaceful in record and military came up again IBB came into power and annulled the June 12 1993 election with this act;he spoil the good name he had at first;IBB stepped aside and an interim was formed by Earnest which was declared illegal by the supreme judicial council general Abacha took over as a military junta in November 17 1993;with Abiola fighting for his position as president,Abacha plan was to become the executive presidential candidate for five political parties but his dreams never came to realities because he died after one month of his death Abiola died also. general Abdusalam Abubakar took over and election was carried out on may 18 1999 Obasanjo was sworn in as the executive president of the four republic after he was Yar'adua but he died before he completed his tenure and his vice Goodluck took over and President Muhammed Buhari but give power to his vice for a short while because of his poor health condition. although Nigeria has not been interrupted in the fourth republic by the military break;it has been disturbed by insurgency of boko haram which is a threat to the country;even the rescission Nigerian are going through;Nigeria has had good and bad government but then they are still awaiting one that will take them to be giant of Africa. thank you
MR Unbelievable: oh my world!you such a good historian
MRS Ophelia: you have taken all our times;anyway i enjoy it;it was really a history to recalled
MR IKE: please may the next contestant mount the stage (Rita step in)
Rita: good day sir
MR IKE: good day; year in year out;the world regard Nigeria has a country with law. so what ways do you think law impact positively in Nigeria society?
Rita: in a layman terms,laws are defined as a rule of action;in this sense one may talk about law of science but rather;he deals with law in relations to human action. in any organised society in which there are development in commerce and communication;there is a great need of law to regulate the people's mutual rights and obligation and Nigeria happen to be such a country. if there is no law in Nigeria;maybe people would be guided by principles of morality and choose to live their life in the way they like.
it was because of law in Nigeria that was while human conduct in Nigeria is predictable;that was while there is order;peace;stability and progress has taken place. in absence of the law;a general disposition to disobey law;life would be impossible;chaos;confusion and a general feeling of insecurity would be the order of the day;every religious life cannot be maintained in the absence of law. our family life and relationship are now well protected by the law. generally we can afford to rest or sleep peacefully;work;save;think and plan for the future. so with all this in mind law has impacted positively on Nigeria




SEE MORE.......


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Aelonplane [Read it]


C Aelonplane







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-02 12:58:36

970 Views




JOKE PART 56 BY DINDY
Girl: [Sniffs] oh!.
Dindy: What is it?.
Girl: It's nothing dear.
Dindy: I insist, tell me what is wrong.
Girl: I don't feel completely complete.
:.........
Dindy looks at her seriously.
:.........
Dindy: I think it's your dress.
Girl: What happened to my dress?.
Dindy: Your body.............
DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 57.
Watch out for my inspirational story coming up on Sunday "THE WHITE STALLION", don't miss out, invite your family and friends even enemies to read it, don't miss out.
Dindy baby out




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-11-25 23:04:19

129 Views




FATHER:son,can you please go buy me a drink. SON:coke or pepsi? FATHER:coke. SON:diet or regular? FATHER:regular. SON:bottle or can? FATHER:bottle. SON:500ml or 1liter? FATHER:damn! just buy me water! SON:natural or mineral? FATHER:mineral. SON:hot or cool? FATHER:i'm gonna strike you with a broom u idiot SON:stick broom or soft broom? FATHER:stop this you little animal!! SON:cow or pig? FATHER:get the hell out of here you bastard!! SON:now or later? FATHER:now!!! SON:so u gonna throw me out or not? FATHER:i'm gonna kill you!!! SON:with a gun or knife? FATHER:i'm gonna shoot you little bastard!!! SON:in the head or stomach? FATHER:you pest!! SON:cockroach or rat? FATHER:{faints} SON:are u dead or sleeping?.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-28 17:31:26

645 Views




IJE(The journey)
Episode 1

My name is Joy, funny how my name sounds to
me, when I tell you my story, maybe you would
understand the irony of my name. I was born
into the home of a military officer, and my
mother was a trader. The fourth child, in a family
of six (as it was back then).
I lived the carefree life most children in the
barracks live, and never really knew anything
that went on in my family. All that changed,
when I turned thirteen. I remember that day, like
it is yesterday. I was on my way back from
school, and was in a haste to remove my school
uniform and join my friend Elizabeth and her
brother Moses on a mango plucking spree. I got
to our block, and saw my sister, Sister Hope on
the ground crying. My father was throwing
clothes at her from our house on the first floor,
and my mother was pleading with my father. I
ran towards Sister Hope, and my father shouted
at me to stay away from her or else he would
beat stupidity out of my head. I froze, and stood
there watching. My younger brother Andrew had
been behind me, and he also joined me,
wondering what was going on.
Later that evening, my father called my siblings
and I into our small sitting room, and announced
to us that Hope was never setting foot into his
house again, and that if he ever saw or heard
that we had any communication with her, we
would also join her out of his house. Our first
daughter Sister Faith, started crying and my
father went on to say that Hope had gotten
pregnant and that any of us that gets pregnant
would face the same fate. Our mother didn’t say
a word throughout that meeting.
Later at night, while others slept, Sister Faith
explained to me how a girl can get pregnant. She
told me to stay away from boys. Boys were bad.
I listened to her lecture and fell soundly to bed.
The next morning, I had forgotten all about girls
and pregnancies, and Sister Hope came to my
mind, when it was time to make my hair. She
was the one that weaved our hair.
Three months passed, and pregnancy stared me
in the face again. This time, I was the only one
at home, when Mama Rose dragged rose to our
house. Rose was crying when I opened the door.
“Where is your foolish father” Mama Rose asked
me. I was shocked for two reasons. First, nobody
has ever called my father foolish, and secondly
Mama Rose was supposed to be my father’s
friend. I know he goes to her bar many times. I
told her that my father was not around, but no
sooner had I said this, than my father came up
the stairs.
The speed at which mama Rose grabbed my
father’s trousers, was alarming. Mama rose was
a very tiny woman. But apparently, she had the
strength of a lioness. Soon my father’s shirt, his
favourite shirt was in shreds. All the while, Rose
continued crying and all I could pick out from
the chaos was….. “cheat”, “mother and
daughter”, “wicked man”. Neighbours from my
block and neighbouring blocks, gathered. I was
still confused, when my father finally extracted
himself from the claws of Mama Rose, and ran
into our house, locking the door behind him.
TO BE CONTINUED.
Do you need the story?

>> Episode 2 -



The following conversation ensued between Akpos and his teacher in class: Teacher: One day Nigeria will be corruption free. What tense is that? AKPOS: Future Impossible Tense!
(Teacher immediately slaps Akpos)


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-24 08:59:34

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ONE WRONG TURN
MISSION TO NOWHERE
Episode 44

“get up, lets go and look for her” i
ordered
“were would we start from ”
Hannah asked,
” the hotel of course”
“they are not there, Ramsey and
Mesode took
her away, i don’t know where they
went. Non
of them is answering their
phones”
Fear gripped me when i heard
those words, i
knew there was something wrong
with those
boys. Something must have
happened to
Ruth.
I walked back to my seat with
resignation, my
heart pounded. I kept dialling
Ruth’s number
over and over again. It rang
repeatedly but
there was no response. I placed
my head on
my desk again, hoping to catch
some sleep
before the extra lessons began.
I was almost dosing off when my
phone rang.
I picked it up in a hurry, i knew it
had to be
Ruth.
“hello? Were are you” i asked in a
hurry
The voice at the other end of the
phone wasn’t
Ruth’s. It was a lady who
identified herself as
a staff of the hotel we just visited.
She called
to find out who owned the phone.
Apparently,
she found Ruth’s phone in the
room while she
was cleaning up.
It became obvious to me that my
friend Ruth
was missing. I turned towards
Hannah, she
was still on her seat. This time, she
was
shedding tears. She definitely
knows what was
happening.
I sprang up from my seat and ran
to her,
gripped her shirt by the neck line
and
demanded to know where Ruth
was. The
Hannah i know would have fought
back, but
she looked up at me quietly with
guilt written
all over her face.
SECURITY TIPS:FOR RUTH TO HAVE LEFT HER PHONE BEHIND,FOR HER NOT TO HAVE COME BACK FOR IT AFTER SEVERAL HOURS OUT,FOR HER NOT TO HAVE UPDATED OR CONTACTED HER FRIENDS ON HER MOVEMENT,DEFINATELY,SHE WAS IN A KIND OF TRAP,NOT NICE PERHAPS,WAS HANNAH HAVING A CLUE OR A HAND IN HER ORDEAL?


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Sorry may have become ‘Just another Word’;

But with tears, it means the world!Related
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