Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


I went for a night prayer at one church... in the
midst of the prayer session, a member touched
my shoulder and said,"Brother, YOU WILL WALK..
I really didn't understand because I have no
disability in me... When I got out of the church, i
come notice say somebody don move my transport money. NO B ONLY WALK I
WALK I JOIN TREK REACH HOUSE
Endtime!! #B-goF #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-15 09:31:39

375 Views




People who often chew gum are more likely to develop “Temporomandibular Joint Disorder” and have difficulty opening and/or closing their mouths.Related

The following conversation ensued
between Akpos and his wife: WIFE: Our maid is pregnant... AKPOS: That’s her problem WIFE: Neighbours are talking… AKPOS: That’s their problem. WIFE: I’m worried AKPOS: That’s your problem WIFE: They say it’s yours AKPOS: That’s my problem!
#BOLLY_SMART™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-10 12:31:14

436 Views




Question of the day?

A girl sends her boyfriend who lives in another town a letter which read "I am sorry but i'm in love with a young,cute, adorable, intelligent and handsome guy. So i want us to end our relationship since I no longer love u. Please send my picture back to me. 2 DAYS LATER, The guy sent her an envelope containing 50 different pictures and a letter which read "PlS am sorry but i have forgotten your face so please select ur picture and send the rest back to me".
Now This is my Question: WHICH OF THEM BROKE THErnOTHERS HEART THE MOST?.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-30 18:50:48

1426 Views



Endtime story [Read it]


Some days ago, I needed to see a close friend of
mine for an important discussion and we
concluded to hold the meeting in a nearby fast
food joint. I arrived at the place earlier and decided
to take some snacks while waiting for my friend. I
was almost finishing my drink when a man
dressed in a white flowing Agbada walked in with a
briefcase. Judging from his look and medium-
sized potbelly, one can sense that he's a
politician. He barely sat down and ordered for what
he will eat when a young lady came to his table
crying profusely. She narrated how her Dad was
admitted into hospital for surgery and the Doctors
requested for N300,000.00 deposit before the
operation can be carried out. After consoling this
young lady and asking for her details, the man just
picked his briefcase and gave the lady a million
naira cheque. Like a sprinter, the lady ran as fast
as her legs could carry her. Not up to 5 minutes
later, a middle-aged man came to the same man
and prostrated before him. He explained how he
was sacked unjustly and now he needed to pay
his rent and start a small business. This man
again told him to stand up, asked for his details
and gave the man 2 Million naira cheque. I sat
there motionless and I began to think of the story
to get my share of this man's "National Cake". I
stood up, walked up to him and began to cry. I
was about to tell my own story when I heard
"CUT ! ". Someone tapped me and said "young
man, we are shooting a film HERE! #Nairajokes #9sF #B-goF #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-28 12:44:57

925 Views



Fasting cat [Read it]










NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-15 11:14:44

972 Views



Its my Birthday [Read it]


I thank the lord for a day like this.................... I thank the lord for loving me like this ....................
I Thank the lord for keeping me alive today....................
I Thank the lord for celebrating my Birthday....................

Yea its my Birthday.join me thank the lord for his love and mercy on me....................
I don't know whether to begin dance BOBO or skelewu.
HBD to me,wish myself LLNP.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-07 09:22:40

1052 Views



DECISION. [Read it]


6 LITTLE STORIES 

1. ONCE, All villagers decided to pray for rain, on the day of prayer all the People gathered but only one boy came with an umbrella. That's FAITH

2. WHEN You throw a baby in the air, she laughs because she knows you will catch her. That's TRUST.

3. EVERY Night we go to bed, without any assurance of being alive the next Morning but still we set the alarms to wake up. That's HOPE

4. WE Plan big things for tomorrow in spite of zero knowledge of the future. That's CONFIDENCE

5. WE See the world suffering but still we get Married. That's LOVE.

6. On an Old Man's shirt was written a cute sentence 'I Am Not 60 Years Old.., I Am Sweet 16 with 44 years Experience. That's ATTITUDE

Have a wonderful Sunday.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-26 16:14:34

335 Views




“Get dressed; we’re going out for a dinner party”

Priscilla awrapped the towel around her and stepped out of the bathroom her body glistening with moisture. She turned to face her husband who was already dressed in a dinner suit backing her, “We’re going for a party?”

“That’s what I said,” he replied with a bit of irritation. For the first time that evening, his gaze swept over his wife and he recognized the familiar rush of desire looking at her. He let his gaze drop. “Wear something decent, I’m meeting with clients”

“So that’s what this is about? No wonder because you never take me anywhere”, she remarked wiping her body consciously. Her color rose as she backed Tunde feeling his gaze burning through her back, she heard him sniff and smiled.

Tunde sat on the bed and idly picked up the book he left unfinished the past week “Karen’s going to be there” he said feeling the need to rile her up

“Really?”, Priscilla asked with unusual patience it surprised him “I’m surprised we haven’t been introduced” she continued putting on her underwear “I heard you two used to be close.”

He did not know how to reply that, finally he found his wits. “You wouldn’t blow up about us?”

“No” she replied lightly though within her she felt differently “I don’t think it would be wise getting worked up over that.”

“For the first time I agree with you.”

This time, she turned to look at him with her towel dropping loosely to reveal the upper clefts of her chest. He felt his heart slam against his chest just looking at her innocent brown eyes the way she sat unsuspecting of what she was doing. He grunted within himself, she knew what she was doing after all; she was her mother’s daughter.

“I’m glad you agree”, she replied smiling at him. The past few weeks seemed to be in her favor, it seemed God really was interested in her marriage seeing the way her husband had transformed towards her. Now, they could have a short conversation without an argument. She applied her makeup lightly and got up to wear her black knee length gown.

“Where did you get this?”

“I bought it a while back, you like?”

He shrugged and watched hungrily as she put it on. She looked good, really good.



…WHILE the party was going on Karen sat downstairs on a pavement by the patio away from the crowd watching Tunde as he greeted some of the other guests. She smiled to herself; this is how it should have been: them hosting parties and walking hand in hand to a party they were invited to. She missed those days when Tunde used to run after her when they were young. She missed those days. She smoothened down the knee length skirt of her gown; she wanted to be the next Mrs. Ariyo, his lover and confidant and the joint owner of Hallmark Enterprises and now look how all her hard work had been paid off with that bitch who schemed her way into his bed: Priscilla. The girl too had smartened up, she had changed her wardrobe trying to warm her way into Tunde’s heart.

Tunde came back and sat “Sorry about that, business”

“It’s okay” she replied forcing a smile “My mind was clouded.”

“With what?”

“You.”

“Me?” he looked at her amused “What about me?”

“All that we’ve been through I guess”, Karen looked down at her feet “How long we’ve been this way and I’m thinking of how my life is going to turn out.”

Tunde sighed and looked away knowing where she was going to “I know where you’re going Karen and we’ve talked about this.”

“Well, where’s this going? I’m 36 and nothing, I’m all alone!”

“I can’t do anything about this Karen I’m married already and I’m not stopping you from moving on.”

“You want me to move on?” her voice shook with effect “After how many years together?”

“Okay so what do you want?”

“I want you to be happy Tunde!” she didn’t state the obvious, she wanted them together “It’s clear your wife has been trying to get things right after what you told me and what I saw tonight.”

Tunde said nothing looking back at her.

“You aren’t saying anything?”

“What do you want me to say!” he exclaimed

“I think you are falling for her already. Your mind hasn’t been with me all evening,” she suddenly said making him turn to look at her sharply.

“Don’t be like that; you know that’s not possible” Tunde replied in irritation, his heart tugged at him but he ignored it. For the umpteenth time, he wondered where Priscilla was.

Karen hissed in annoyance, feigning a smile as people passed by them “Be honest with yourself Tunde, she’s deceiving you.”

“Karen please let’s stop this. I cannot deal with this now; I have told you there is a lot of pressure from work. The last thing I need is this obscene notion that I’m falling for a woman like Priscilla.”

“What’s wrong with her? I saw the way your eyes followed her as she walked up the staircase, we cannot deny that she has changed and I am sure she is now more cunning than ever. You’re falling for her abi?” Karen shook him and he rolled his eyes in irritation. “I’m sure you are!” This time, she was actually panicking. He still said nothing and as she removed her hands from the sleeve of his jacket, a silent tear escaped from the corner of her eye. “I’m more concerned about you Tunde, what she’s doing with you.”

“Argggh! Karen let’s stop this, you are more concerned about yourself and the fact that you might be losing me.”

“That was a rotten thing to say”, Karen’s voice shook in anger. She was very angry that things did not go her way. “I can’t believe you could say that, we’ve been friends for how long and…”

“Geez I’m sorry, Karen”, Tunde replied impatiently “I’m just stressed out and I need to unwind that’s why I’m here and not with her, for Pete’s sake you know the relationship between my wife and I.”

Karen shook her head in disgust and got up with the pride left in her.

“Where are you going?” Tunde asked looking up at her.

“Away, I’m going to find my escort. I think it’s time to leave” Karen walked away from him wondering for the first time where Richard was.



…THE party was not so much, just a small get together for the clients and other firms organized by one of the companies who offered their services to Tunde’s father’s firm. She smiled up at the guests as they passed by her side resting lightly on the black railing upstairs. Priscilla held a glass of wine in her hand, looking idly at the clusters of people discussing politics and business.

She smiled to herself- seeing some women scantily hiding the look of boredom registered on their heavily made up faces as they stuck close to their escorts. It made her wonder where her husband was- no doubt with Karen. She had seen him whisked away to some place with the woman’s arms twisted around his. For the first time since they got married, he had given her an apologetic look as he left.

Priscilla sighed as the cold night breeze caressed her sleeved arms; at least Karen had been shocked to see her dressed that way, the way the gown clung lovingly to every inch of her figure. She turned to back the crowd content with just looking at the mowed lawn before her. Her mind was in chaos as her feelings were confusing her.

Was it not the same man she hated the most? The same man she loathed? Here she was after a few weeks, aching for his touch again, and every part of her body aching in anticipation of it. She found herself looking for a smile from him, looking at him under her eyelashes: Priscilla shivered at the thought- was this love? This feeling of wanting to get approval from him alone was what she had never felt before for any man. Was it the grudging respect she felt for him, acknowledging the fact that he was a good man regardless of the fact that he did not love her? At least he gave her enough to be comfortable and how did she repay him? She had slept with that stranger: Richard.

For the first time that evening, she felt that long forgotten sense of dread, she had not even thought of him since her first visit to Mrs. Bridget’s office. Did he still think of her? She had ignored all his calls and text messages. Feeling the guilt of what she had done, Priscilla took a long sip of the wine and smiled sadly to herself. Maybe this was not the ideal marriage, but it was better than before. At least, there was a dim glimmer of hope: but was all this done to honor her mother’s wishes of her getting pregnant? Was she callous enough to deceive her husband into making a child with her? Moreover, after that, would she walk away from this marriage with their child as a means of making money from him? Is that what she really wanted to do? Yes, her freedom was important but so was her conscience, so would that really make her happy?

“Priscilla” a voice called from behind her

>>

All of these are legitimate companies, who didn’t spend quite enough time considering how their online name might appear! They are hysterical! These are not made up. Check them out yourself!


1. ‘Who Represents’ is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity.
Their Web site is: www.whorepresents.com


2. ‘Experts Exchange’ is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views.
Their website address is: www.expertsexchange.com


3. Looking for a great pen? Look no further than ‘Pen Island’.
It can be found at: www.penisland.net


4. Need a therapist? Try ‘Therapist Finder’ at: www.therapistfinder.com


5. Then there’s the ‘Italian Power Generator’ company. Check it out at: www.powergenitalia.com


6. ‘IP computer’ software, there’s always: www.ipanywhere.com


7. And the designers at ‘Speed of Art’ await you at their wacky Web site: www.speedofart.comRelated

Looking Thinks [Read it]


SORRY O!
I heard that WizKid is looking for CARO,
Yemi Alade is looking for JOHNNY,
Buhari is looking for HIS CERTIFICATE,
Jonathan is looking for your VOTE, n
Nigerians are looking for the CHIBOUK GIRLS
.......so what are you looking FOR?



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-30 21:26:50

387 Views




You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul.

-Swami VivekanandaRelated

Who love me most episode 17

FORWARD TO ONE WEEK LATER

chidi was with emma in the car driving, they were coming from a party they attended in the next town,it was around 6pm,they got to a three junction and they took the road by their left, they haven't drive for five minutes was they met a red card parked in the middle of the road,chidi had to stop the car.

They both looked at each other,they were both suspicious

Emma :just go back

Chidi was about to revise when another car blocked him from behind.

Chidi:fuck,it a trap.

Chidi look under his sit and brought out a gun,emma also did the same,that was where they always keep their weapons each time they are driving because of the police,they were already preparing themselves for what ever will happen when maxwell and one other guy came out behind the red car, the boy that is with maxwell was holding a cutless while maxwell was holding a gun,another also came down from the car behind chidi car also holding a gun.

Emma :speak of the devil

Chidi smiled

Emma :what should we do

Chidi:am going out

Emma :what

Chidi :are we really just going to sit down here like a coward, they are just three of them,you got my back right

Emma :you know i always got your back

Chidi and emma came down from the car,they immediately point gun at each other, emma was facing the one at the back while maxwell and chidi was facing eachother,chidi went closer to maxwell.

Chidi :i can see you came well prepared, maxwell, so now you are here what are you going to do

Maxwell :kill you

Chidi laughed

Chidi :impressive, and how are you going to do that,maxwell i don't want you dead if I wanted it you could have been gone by now.

Maxwell :but I want you dead,i gave you a warning but you ignored it

Chidi :you don't scare me maxwell, how about you do it this way,you have a gun and i have mine,you shot and i shot, then we both die and no one gets to have amara or you tell your baby boys to get lost and we all leave peacefully,you choose.

Chidi was a very good shooter,he is so fast and have never missed a shut,emma was not bad also they were both determine to kill them and stay alive,emma was waiting for a signal to shot.

Maxwell :i think i choose the part that said I killed you

Just them chidi shot at maxwell gun and it fall from his hand, at the sound of the gun shot emma shot the other boy and he fell and died,the boy with the cutless was coming towards chidi when emma also put him down,maxwell wanted to pick up the gun again but chidi got there before him,chidi quickly pick the gun and throw it far from maxwell, he gripped maxwell on his collar and began to punch him angryly.

Chidi :i told you stay away from me

He throw him down and began to kick him,maxwell kept on shouting in pain.

Chidi :do you know i can waste you here right now

Hit him again, maxwell was now bleeding all over his face,

Chidi :but I won't kill you,let me warn you if you try this again in swear you will be dead,

He took a knife from his pocket and put it through maxwell left hand

Maxwell cried in pain)awwwwwwww fuck

Chidi :that will keep the memory of today in your head forever, next time you won't be this lucky

He punch him again,chidi entered his car while emma quickly went to the car behind them,the car key was till there so he start the car and drove it aside enabling chidi to pass,chidi stopped and emma entered and they drove off.as soon as they left maxwell manage to crawled to where chidi throwed his gun he use the side of the jacket he was putting on to collect the gun,he put his hand in his pocket and brought out his phone and called the police,and then ended the call,he then point the gun at the right side of his stomach, maxwell is a training doctor in UK, so he knows everything about the human body, he knew if he shot himself at that side it will take him more then two hours before he could die,he was ready to take the risk,at least the police will be here anytime soon.

Maxwell :this is for you Amara

He gave a deep breath and shut himself, not up to thirty minutes the police arrived and they quickly rushed him to the hospital,he has gaven the police mens the informetion them needed about him before he shut himselt so it was very easy to contact his mother Mrs ada Marcus and amara number was not left out.

LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS AND
READ NEXT EPISODE

>>

music [Read it]



Sunny Leone remix:

“Ek pardesi meri [email protected] legaya,

jate jate,

mitha mitha,

DOODH pi gaya.

jane anjane mujhe pata na chala,

dhire dhire khud ki MALAI de gayaRelated

Poem battle between akpos and wife
WIFE : I wrote your name on sand it
got
washed. I wrote your name in air , it
was blown
away . Then I wrote your name on my heart & I
got Heart Attack.
AKPOS : God saw me hungry, he
created pizza. He
saw me thirsty, He created Pepsi . He
saw me in darkness , He created light. He saw me without
problems , He created YOU.
WIFE :. . Twinkle twinkle little star You
should know
what you are .. And once you know
what you are Mental hospital is not so far .
AKPOS : The rain makes all things
beautiful . The
gr* ss and flowers too . If rain makes
all things
beautiful Why doesn’t it rain on you .. ? WIFE : … Roses are red ; Violets are
blue.
Monkeys
like u should be kept in ZOO. Don’t feel
so angry
you will find me there too … Not in cage but
laughing at YOU
WHO KILLED IT?
The wife or Akpos ?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-12 23:40:34

348 Views




“It’s a boy”, Pappu shouted. “A boy, I don’t believe it. I simply can’t believe it”!

And with tears rolling down his face, Pappu ran out onto the streets.

From here on, he swore that he’d never pick up another hooker in Thailand!Related

Don't tourch [Read it]


A mother noticed her daughter's stomach bulging and immediately asked her, "ADUNNI! How did you get pregnant?! Didn't I tell you to say "DON'T" if a man touches your breast, and say "STOP" if he touches your private?" 


The daughter replied, "Yes mum, I did that, but he was touching both at the same time and I had to say, "DON'T STOP!". 


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-24 21:25:08

187 Views




The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an “E”. Akpos says, “Elephant.”

Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a “T”. The same Akpos says, “Two elephants.”

The teacher sends Akpos out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning with “M”.

Akpos shouts from the other side of the wall: “Maybe an elephant!”

Lols, One word for Akpos....


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-10 02:57:34

323 Views



Motion Sickness [Read it]


Santa and Banta are discussing the possibility of love. “I thought I was in love three times,” Santa says.
“Thought…?” Banta asks. “What do you mean?”
“Three years ago, I cared very deeply for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me,” Santa says.
“Wasn’t that love?” Banta asks.
“No, that was obsession,” Santa explains. “Then two years ago, I cared very deeply for an attractive woman who didn’t understand me.”
“Wasn’t that love?” asks Banta.
“No, that was lust,” Santa replies. “And just last year, I met a woman while I was on a cruise. She was gorgeous, intelligent, a great conversationalist and had a super sense of humor. Everywhere I followed her on that ship, I would get a very strange sensation in the pit of my stomach.”
“Well, wasn’t that love,” asks Banta.
“No. That was motion sickness!” Santa replies.Related

ONE WRONG TURN
:MASQUARADE UNMASKED
Episode: 39

I lifted my head up
slowly, to confirm the
figure standing in front
of me. My heart melted
away when i saw the
shock and disbelief on
Ehis’s face.
He gave me a cold hard
stare, sending shock
waves all over my
body. I tried to speak,
but words didn’t come
out. There was no
plausible excuse for my
presence here.
Ehis pinned his gaze at
the bra in my hand, it
was very obvious to
him that i had engaged
in some sexual
activities. He let go of
me and walked
towards Mesode.
I turned around and
looked at mesode, it
was at that moment i
recognised the face. He
had a striking
resemblance with ,
infact they must be
related.
I stood by the door in a
state of confusion, i
had no idea wh Odion
at to do or say.
Streams of tears
began to roll down my
cheek. I knew i was in
big trouble.
Ehis simply walked up
to mesode and handed
him something from
his pocket. Probably an
atm card.
My attempt to abscond
coupled with the
unusual chemistry
between me and Ehis
must have surprised
mesode.
“whats going on here?
Do you know her? ” he
asked, alternating his
gaze between me and
Ehis.
Ehis looked at me with
disgust written all over
his face.
” yes, she was my
girlfriend” he replied as
he turned his eyes
away from me and
walked towards the
door.


>>

???A teenager went missing. His family uploaded a message on whatsapp with his photo. He was found, thanks to whatsapp.
It is more than three months now. He is not able to go to school. People are dropping him back home as the message is still circulating on whatsapp !!! ????????????????Related

David was shocked at the sight he beheld.
As a man that he was,he got filled with mixed
feelings. Should he go back
and leave her alone?. He shut the door and called her
name again from outside. She didn’t answer. He called
again. This time around, he was getting angry.
“How am i sure she is still alive?” he thought.
He immediately pulled the door
and called her name aloud.
She moved and opened her eyes.
On seeing him, she quickly grabbed the bedspread and covered her self.
“I am sorry sir” she said, standing up, holding the bedspread
loosely. She allowed it drop down, revealing
every part of her body to David.
She pretended it was accidental and
unintentional as she bent down to pick it up to cover herself.
“I am very sorry sir. i’m sorry” she said
again, standing there and looking at him as if
he was a ghost. David just shook his head and
made for the door.
“Get me my dinner” he said before shutting the door.
Sonia face changed
immediately he left. she was very disappointed.
“what manner of man is this?
Does it mean i am not appealing to him?” she thought.
“I am trying my best o. i am doing my best” This
she said to Ebere on the phone before unmuting it.
“That is your own business” Ebere’s voice
echoed from the other end before the line went
dead.
“I must make up for this, before
he tells my madam another
thing” She got dressed and
went out to dish out David’s
dinner. As she notified him that dinner
has been served, she was
reluctant to leave. She scratched
her head and stood still. David noticed this.
“What is it?” He asked. “Emm,sir…i,i..want to
apologise
for what happened today. i am
very sorry. Its just that i was
feeling heat and i didn’t like
putting on the fan. i am very
sorry” Sonia sounded so innocent.
“It’s ok. there is no problem.But
let me bring to your notice, whether heat or cold in
that your room, you must wear
decent clothes. have i made myself clear?” David stressed out.
“Yes sir” Sonia answered
nodding.
She smiled to herself as she
went back to her room.
**::::::**
Two days later, She visited her mom to narrate
how she had tried to lure Mr.David to lied with
her which proved abortive.
“Mama, i have tried my best but the man has
refused. I am afraid he might find out my
mission and send me packing. Mama i don't
want to go to jail. That Ebere is heartless. She
just wont let me be” Sonia lamented.
“What do you suggest we do?” her mother asked.
“Mama that is why i am here. help me out” She
pleaded while her mother nodded in
comprehension.
:::::.***::::::
The witch doctor they visited gave Sonia a
liquid in a black bottle and told her to put it in David’s
food for three consecutive days and he will become
hers.
::::.**:::::
Sonia called David to come and have
breakfast.He had carefully applied the liquid as instructed by
the witch doctor. She stood around to make sure
David ate the food when he eventually come out of his
room. She just couldn’t wait to see the food pass
down his throat. She had only 6 days left to do
Ebere’s bidding.
The only thing on her mind that moment was to
see David pass the food down his throat.

>>

A drunk 18yrs old boy asked a
married woman out.The woman
got so pissed she went to tel her
husband about d encounter.The
husband told the wife to
invite d boy over so that he could
beat d hell out of him,he would
hide under the bed as he waited for
him.The wife did as her husband
requested.When the boy got there
he kissed the woman and took of
his T-shirt and his body was full of
scars.So the woman asked, "Why so
many scars?"The boy replied,"I always lay with
married women and usually when I
get caught I kill the husband, if
someone shows up now he will be
no.20 on my murder list!"The boy
continued kissing the woman and undressing her.The woman
tried to reach out for
her husbnd under the bed and a
small voice came out,"If u tel him
am here,I'll kill u before he kills
me!Just co-operate. hahahahahaha!!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-10 14:50:49

171 Views





Ledan narrates

I turned around to see the she-devil herself, Dija!

“Follow me”, she said in a commanding tone which I did we without question not without taking one last look at the Jango severed head. We got to a nearby uncompleted building.
She tapped her fingers and two hefty guys came out of nowhere and beat me blue and black. After she must have been satisfied, she tapped her finger and they stopped.

“Forgive my manners, I forgot to introduce this two men to you”, she started, “these one is AUTO”, she said pointing to a fair, tall and hefty handsome guy, “and this other guy is MANUAL”, she said giving me her usual wicked smile.

“I just took it easy on you today because I’ve not probably introduced myself to you”she said. Did she say easy after she almost allowed me to die in the hands of senseless bums, what a b---h, I thought.

“No one messes with me, anyone who dares me dares death, I’m sorry for doing this to a man old enough to be my father but I so much believe in power, in power, you have to be extremely generous and at the same time extremely brutal, you have to hold on to power with the kinda of power a rapist use on a woman, only then will you get whatever you want”, she explained smiling once again. I was astonished at her level of knowledge, she’s an evil genius, I thought.

She came close and put her lips on my hears and said in the most sexy voice, “I told you to give me a week, it remains three days, if I don’t break them apart, you can have my head Sir”. She tapped her fingers signalling to Auto and Manual and no one needed to tell me I’ll wake up in an hospital bed.

************************
The next day, Lia and Ele’s birthday….

Franco narrates

I was late for Ele’s and Lia’s birthday which was taking place in Lia’s house since the both family especially Ele wanted it that way. I waved down an Ajumose’s bus after waiting for close to 30 minutes. I quickly board it though I didn’t like it because it was slow for one reason, and also smelly old women who came from farm. I paid the T.fare and told them where was going but the conductor didn’t give me my ticket. That has been the order of the day, they give ticket at random, they gain up to 10,000 per day from not given all the ticket a month. Though they were frequently caught by their superiors.
As I entered and was walking to take a seat, I cited Dija, and was surprised she could take an Ajumose bus when she has a car she always drives around. There was an empty sit at her back and I sat there and decided to whatsapp her.

Whatsapp chat between Dija and i..

Me: hi

Dija: yes?

Me: Good pm

Dija: what do you want?

Me: to confess to you

Dija: what confession?

Me: *got up to see her so focused on her phone like she was taking jamb CBT exam” Hmmmmm

Dija: better type or forget it!

Me: *I saw she was still wearing a curious look * your bombom is bigger than your future!
*she was laughing so loud in the bus *

Dija: you Perverted creep, I’ll block you now!

Me: *yinmu * Okay just wanna tell you a guy named Franco somewhere in an Ajimobi’s bus his thinking of you.
*she suddenly started looking around *

Me: at your back

She saw the ping and quickly looked back before clenching her fist tight, “you! I’ll so kill you today”, she said before a man wearing an I.D card came by and asked me of my ticket. I told him I wasn’t given.

He looked back at the conductor and said, “this makes 1700 naira you wanted to steal, your query is already confirmed’, he said while I cursed him and his generations inwardly from spoiling my fun with my Dija.

**************************
Lia narrates

I was in the parlour waiting patiently for my Ele Boje my love to come.

I’ve gone out so many times at any slight sound of a car but to check if it was Ele Boje but I’ve always been disappointed. Another car horn made leave my sit for the umpteenth time. I opened the door and to my greatest shock and chagrin, it was someone I never expected to see again.

“Bode, what are you doing here?” I said while i ran to him still cleaning my eyes to make sure I saw well.

“Of course yes!”, he gave me that heavenly smile that made do sweep me off my feet’s then. No wonder he was my first love.

“Is this really you Bode or is it your ghost?”, I asks sarcastically.

“Lili my love, cant you see im on plain clothes, there’s no boutique in heaven sweetie”, Bode said with his heavenly smile again making me forget i was even waiting for someone or having my birthday.

I ran to hug Bode who carried me and held on to me so tight that I could see shivers run down my spine. The world around me stopped that minute.

“Bode, please tell me everything that happened, I thought you were dead, where have you been? What have you been up to?, i really cant wait to know”, I asked back to back question in heightened curiosity.

“Lili love, its a long story, let’s get inside first”, he said once again with his heavenly smile.

“Go where?”, I heard a voice screamed out. It was Ele.

“Ele, its not as you’re thinking, My Bode here…”, I mistakenly had a Freudian slip.

“Oh, its now glaring!, I’m now mere “Ele” to you while he’s your Bode”, Ele screamed again for the the first time since ive known him. He never screams.

“You can enjoy you birthday with your sweet and handsome Bode, I’m off, never cross my presence again in your life you cheat!”, my Ele said angrily in a way that shows true pains and left.

I ushered a confused Bode in, ordered our mad to serve him while I proceeded to Ele’s house not before collecting Bode’s number with a promise to explain things to him later.

The truth is, I don’t want to loose both Ele and Bode. People may call me selfish, but that’s ladies for you, we are just to complex to understand.

***********************
Khadijat narrates

I watched the drama between Bode, Ele and my Besty from afar knew. I knew Bode was the perfect person for my plan. Only I know how and why Bode disappeared and returned only now. I knew such a day will come. Lia brought all this upon herself, she stole everything from me, and I’m going to take everything back including her life. What Ele’s dad doesn’t know is the sweetest revenge is killing your enemy slowly and painfully so she won’t die peacefully.

Now I have to carry out the last plan. I picked up the phone to call Ele’s dad while I headed to Ele’s house to carry out the last stage of my plan.

******************
Ele narrates

After what happened in Queency’s house, I rushed back home in tears. Since Queency came into my life, I’ve turned to a cry baby. I loved her with all I got, why has she done this to me when I gave my all for our relationship. I couldn’t believe my house. The same girl who talked about heart code, who talked about trust and honesty betrayed me! “Or did I see wrong?”, I asked rhetorically laughing in a sarcastic way.

Just then I began singing JOE’S song to calm myself down...


You’re not that girl I used to know
You’re a shadow of yourself.
Like a book has left the shelf
I hear the footsteps down the hall
And I know that someday that will be you
Leaving me for good..


As I was still singing, Dija came in and joined me..

She said she saw all that happened and i can’t really blame anyone yet without hearing her out.

“Everyone has a secret, even God didn’t reveal to Jesus when His second coming will be, if God had informed mankind the exact date the world will end, the world will be worst off than this because people will do a lot of evil things but would change on the eve of the slated day the world will end so as to enter heaven, so you shouldn’t blame her for keeping such a secret from you, maybe she knew you would react this way”, Dija explained intelligently.

There and then, I discovered I made a mistake, I didn’t even bother to find out what went wrong. The guy could have been a stalker. Worst of all I called her all sought of names. I was shedding tears again when Dija came close to me to hug me while I cried on her shoulders. Just then Dija entered and saw us and called out our names.

“Dija, why are you hugging my Ele,?”, she asked angrily before going out in tears slamming the door behind her. Our birthdays has been ruined for sure.

*********************
Lia narrates

I couldn’t believe my besty whom I trust the most could betray me for a man. What on earth have I dome to here to deserve such betrayer.

Just then, I heard a phone beep in on the plastic table just outside the varenda, I recognised Ele’s phone at once. I decided to checked it out of curiosity. I unlocked the phone since I knew the password he used. What I saw almost made me run mad.

ESTHER: I REALLY ENJOYED OUR TIME TOGETHER EARLIER TODAY IN THE HOTEL, YOU ARE STRONGER THAN SAMSON, I JUST WISHED THAT YOUR SO-CALLED GF HADN’T SPOILT THE FUN, I LOVE YOU LIKE BUHARI LOVES TRAVELLING”

Tears couldn’t stop flowing from my eyes, I picked up my phone to make a call.

“Bode mi, please let’s meet at that restaurant in Ologuneru we went to on our first date”, I requested.

“Please don’t ask me any questions, do you want to go or not?”, I asked angrily.

“Good!”, I remarked trying my best not to cry.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Akpors,who was d best student in his class,having lead d class from behind in d last term examination,was seen sitting comfortably at d front and? paying attention to d lecture going on in d class.having finished writing some mathematical equation on d chalk board the teacher then faced d student and askt thus;if x+y=20 while y is 10.then what is x? D class was silent as nobody knew d answer.
Soon akpors raised up his hand,having notice this d teacher said yes akpors are u sure dat u know d answer akpors nodded affirmatively.d teacher then said take this cane and give d whole class three stroke of cane each.soon akpors finished flogging d class .d teacher now askt him to come to d front to tell d class what d answer was .he then said x is very simple to know. is it not d 24th letter of d english alphabet?
Describe akpors in one word pls! Brought to u by randyking movies world team.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-27 18:49:58

422 Views




Don’t knock masturbation – it’s sex with someone I loveRelated

A nice, calm
and
respectable
lady went into
the pharmacy,
right up to the
pharmacist,
looked straight
into his eyes,
and said, "I
would like to
buy some
cyanide."
The
pharmacist
asked, "Why in
the world do
you need
cyanide?"
The lady
replied, "I need
it to poison my
husband."
The
pharmacists
eyes got big
and he
exclaimed,
"Lord have
mercy! I can't
give you
cyanide to kill
your husband!
That's against
the law! I'll lose
my license!
They'll throw
both of us in
jail! All kinds of
bad things will
happen.
Absolutely not!
You CANNOT
have any
cyanide!"
The lady
reached into
her purse and
pulled out a
picture of her
husband in bed
with the
pharmacist's
wife.
The
pharmacist
looked at the
picture and
replied, "Well
now. That's
different. You
didn't tell me
you had a
prescription."



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-29 17:07:47

792 Views



MARA episode 20 [Read it]


>>>>>>>>>>
As I stood up to go to the door, Adejare pulled me back onto the bed.
“Who is that mad woman?” he asked and I looked at him surprised
Was he not supposed to be born again?
What was that foul language from then?
“That voice is my doctor’s” I said and he looked at me with eyes scorching in danger.
“You are going nowhere” He said firmly and I sat down and fixed my eyes on him
“Why?” I asked awkwardly again
“Because I said so. Ohun taa ba wi fun ogbo lo’gbo a gbo…” he said whispering some words and I became calm.
“Tell the mad woman at the door that everything os alright here and that she should go away” he said
“It’s a lie…nothing is going on well oh…nothing at all. Open this door” My doctor’s voice came with so much conviction that I remained glued to the bed.
“Tell her” he pestered on and I stood up.
“Doctor, all is well here.” I said
“No. that’s a lie from the pit of hell! Don’t swallow that lie. All isn’t well. You are in danger” she cried out the more
Why is her voice with such authority?
“But there isn’t any danger here. My husband has become a Christian. He is born again. He is quoting the scriptures.”
“That’s a lie Madam. Even the devil can transform itself as an angel of light. Its all deception. Please don’t accept that at all” she cried out the more
I looked back at Adejare who was looking so frustrated.
“Come here” he signaled at me and I obeyed.
He pulled me into the bed and checked the polythene bag.
He brought out a small glassy bottle that had liquid inside.
“What’s this?” I asked
“This is holy water for the protection of the baby.” He said and I looked at his lips as they danced
“Protection?” I asked
“Yes. The pastor said that the baby is in a breech position. This would make it alright and easy for delivery.” He said
I collected it.
“Ok. Thanks. But that should be for a later time right? Especially when I am due for childbirth. Right?” I asked and he shook his head
“Now. Take it now” he whispered, opening it for me
“But I am just in my second trimester. The pastor can’t be sure that it is a breech birth yet.” I argued
I was getting my voice again
I wondered where it went before.
“Don’t take in whatever he wants you to take in o” the doctor’s voice became louder.
“The woman outside, shut your mouth up or I shut it up for you. Shut up!” he screamed as he jumped and punched the door.
“You should shut up man!” a masculine voice sounded from outside
I became edgy
What was wrong exactly?
He rushed back to me and collected the bottle from me.
He brought out a knife to my throat.
My heart jumped to my mouth.
“Either take this now or I kill you here” he said and his eyes burned with fire.
“But…” I was saying when he slapped my face with the flat side of the knife.
My heart broke in pieces.
“I command you to take this now…..” he said again and his lips moved fastly as he whispered something.
My heart was in disarray!
“Who saith and it comes to pass when the Lord commandeth it not? I otherwise command that you Mrs. Olowo should not take anything given you by Mr. Olowo , your husband.” The masculine voice said with strong affirmation
“I command…” he started again when the man outside replied again
“The Lord disappoints the devices of the crafty so that their hands cannot perform their enterprise…I command that all your devices be frustrated and disappointed now in Jesus’ name.”
“Amen!” my doctor answered
My heart was being released.
I felt some loosening- as if my mind had been in knots and that the thread being used had lost its hold
“Take it” he brought the bottle to my mouth and I tightened my jaws
“No…no…no” I said repeatedly
“I am not going to harm you. It’s not going to kill you. It’s for our own good. Take it…this is the last opportunity that we have to be great. Take it…please” he pleaded and my heart wept.
If he wanted me to take it then I should
His pleading was to earnest.
I stretched my hand to collect it
“Don’t take it. Please don’t” the doctor cried more.
“Don’t be ignorant of the device of the enemy please” the pastor cried out strongly
“Take” he stretched at me and I shook my head
“The Lord frustrateth the tokens of the liars and maketh diviners mad. He turneth wise men backwards and maketh their knowledge foolish. All your tokens are brought to nought Mr. Olowo.” The man prayed again
“Amen in Jesus’ name oooo” the doctor cried out the more
Adejare ran like a mad man to the door and banged at the door with a loud cry
The bottle in his hands broke into pieces as the liquid inside splashed to his face.
He screamed loudly.
He came to the corner where I had gone to hide myself and pulled me with a great vigor to the door.
He pushed me to the ground and held my head bowed.
I winced in serious pains as I panted hard
“Lick it” he screamed as he pressed my head towards licking the spilt liquid on the floor.
“No don’t do it” the doctor said.
I was so weak!
“Call the name of Jesus Mrs. Olowo” The doctor said anxiously
“Oh yes say it madam because the Bible says the name of the Lord is a strong tower, the righteous runs into it and he’s safe. Call his name.”
“Oh yes! And wherefore, God has highly exalted him and has given unto him a name that is above every other name that at the name of Jesus…” the man was saying when Adejare left me alone abruptly, ran to the door, banged it twice, came towards me, kicked me twice on my back before opening the door and running out.
I was so shocked that I remained in the uncomfortable posture.
It felt as if my backbone had been shifted and that I might not be able to walk again.
“Oh my God!” my doctor exclaimed as she ran inside with a man.
That pastor!
They helped me to the bed with a great difficulty.
I was seeing double.
My head ached with great noise exuding from it.
My temperature had risen so greatly.
“Please, let’s put these clothes off right now. They are very demonic. Lets take them off” the pastor said again and my doctor started taking them off my body.
“In the name of Jesus” she chanted as she threw the clothes to the floor.
“Sorry madam. I hope you are okay” the pastor asked and I shook my head.
Many questions ran through my small head and I couldn’t just reason straight anymore.
The door opened again suddenly and we all turned to look at the direction
It was Adejare
His head was decorated with dirt and his neck had a chain made of leaves hanging down it.
“Glory, it was for our good…” He said and beat the door rhythmically as he danced.
I watched on in great amazement.
“Are you mad already?” I asked gently and he burst into laughter.
“Mad ke! Its all of you o… You are crazy. Just to make money and make life easy for us all, you cannot give just one baby… Out of teh many children you have o… Just one of then… You are mad” he started crying as he scurried out of the house again.
I didn’t seem to understand what had transpired?
Could someone with a better understanding explain please?
The pastor and my doctor look too astounded to say a word.
Somebody help!
TBC


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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1. HAUSA man who removed his
shoes to enter a taxi.
2. IGBO man who went to the bank
with a spanner to open a bank
account.
3. A YORUBA man who went to
bed with a ruler just to know how
long he slept.
4. A TIV man who watched the
news and waved at the news news
caster.
5. AN EFIK nurse who woke up a
sleeping patient simply because
she forgot to give him sleeping
pills.
6. AN IGALA man who lowered his
TV volume because he wanted to
read a text message..
9. AN IKWERE man who polished
his shoes to take a passport
photo.
10. AN ISOKO man who climbed a
mango tree to check if the mango
was ripe enough then came down
and started stoning it.
11. A FULANI man who chose to
drink Fanta because he thought
sprite was unripe.
12. A GWARI man who saw
something that looked like shit,
touched and tasted and said
"Hmmm" na shit ooo!!! Thank God
I no match am.
13. AN IDOMA man who put his
radio inside the refrigerator
because he wanted to listen to
Cool FM


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-04 10:23:18

194 Views





Amarachi was the last child and only daughter of the Martins family. She had five older brothers before her parents had her. Little wonder she was the apple of her parents’ eyes. She was beautiful beyond human imagination and was highly intelligent for her age.

Many people gave her different names. Some called her prodigy because she was considered more intelligent than her age. Others called are brilliant beauty while some see her as very respectful. She was what you could call the perfect child. She had won so many awards for the primary and secondary. She was number one everywhere she went and her parents could not help but dote on their daughter.

Amarachi had a smooth childhood until one day when she was coming back from school. She encountered an old woman who was beating little boy with a stick as the little boy was crying profusely. Amarachi who was touched by the boy’s tears went to intervene.

“Mama, why you know leave the boy na, he don cry tire, I believe say him don learn him lesson” Amarachi had pleaded on the boy’s behalf but all her pleas fell on deaf ears of the old woman which got Amarachi angry as she said “I see senility has taken over you, who do you think will take care of you when you begin to s--t and piss on bed huh?” she asked as the old woman stopped beating the boy and started crying. To Amarachi, the old woman was feeling guilty for what she has done so she left smiling happily thinking she has done something great unknown to her that would be the biggest mistake of her life.

Amarachi would come to realize what she did then when she would always wet the bed or boys running from her all the time.

After going to many prayer houses and spiritual houses, the problem was diagnosed as spiritual s--t gotten through a curse from an old woman she offended.

That is why anytime she gets close to boys who love her, there will be flies all over her body, also no day will pass without her wetting her bed. She always left her bed inside her room in her hostel making her room smell like a corpse. It was a big disgrace to a beautiful lady like her to always bring her bed outside on occasions to dry it or to be avoided by boys. She always cursed the day she met the old woman. She was told the only way to cure her spiritual malady was to find the old woman and apologize. Amarachi always wondered where on earth she will find an old woman whose face she doesn’t remembered or who she doesn’t know have died or not. She always cried herself to sleep every night.

Amarachi is now a 200 level law student in the University of Ilorin. She was the scholar of her level with a C.G.P.A of 4.89 but she had no friends because of her spiritual s--t. It was the weekend and she was to go to Ibadan as usual for prayers about her conditions.

She got to the park early and discovered she was the first passenger to enter the bus. She met this cute dark guy who made a good first impression on her.

The dude attitude showed he definitely felt something for her at first sight, she smiled because she knew. She so prayed the guy do not go to far else her spiritual s--t around her body will attract the flies again. Her worries were reduced when a strange pastor with a strange name started to preach. Kasala c-m burst when a condom fell from his Bible. For seconds everywhere became silent except the sound of the moving vehicle.

All of a sudden, one of the passengers ordered the driver to stop, others followed suite as the confused driver had no choice but to stop. The pastor was dragged out of the vehicle to be beaten.

The passengers kept asking the pastor
“when they start to dey sell holy condom?” , Amarachi knew better from my past experience with the old woman to get involve in such matters. Why she thought they would kill him, the dark complexioned boy who sat beside her went ahead to intervene, “Stop” he had pleaded with them.

He then went ahead to explain how the pastor had preached to him earlier in his street, how he confessed and surrendered the condom he had in his hand which the pastor kept in the Bible. Amarachi was impressed by the dark complexioned guy boldness and felt this sting in her heart.

The passengers as if a possessive spirit had stopped controlling them left the pastor and returned to the bus to meet the angry driver who was already getting angry with the unnecessary delay. The pastor refused to return and the dark complexioned guy chose to stay with him. Something told Amarachi to come down but she just opted to continue with the other passengers.

The driver who was probably angry by the delay and wanted to get to Ibadan quickly on the other hand so he could go for another round of travelling was driving at an insane speed. Despite constant warning from the passengers to slow down he failed to hid warnings. As fate would have it the driver tried to overtake a trailer on a single-lane road from right to left only to see another upcoming trailer at coming at such a high speed from the right. The driver had no choice but to drive off the road to a nearby bush.

The next thing Amarachi heard was loud wails and bloods everywhere. People came to their rescue but all she keep hearing was “he is dead” “she is dead”.

Amarachi guessed what they did to the pastor must have triggered their accident.

Someone came to observe her and told the next person that she Amarachi was dead. She wanted to scream that she wasn’t dead but she couldn’t open her mouth neither could she open here eyes. She had heard of people being buried alive but she never knew she would be a victim of an untold story. Just as she felt a cloth covering her face she heard a not to familiar voice screamed “stop”. Not to long after, she felt a soft hand feel her pulse, “She’s alive!” the boy said, Amarachi managed to open her eyes slightly to see the dark complexioned boy, in her heart she said “thank you” before drifting into unconsciousness.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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worship song [Read it]


Churches should please endeavor to mount
projectors so that song lyrics could be
displayed for most people who murder
songs
#that is how this girl sat beside me in
church and was singing...
"I WILL SIN UNTO THE LORD, A JOYFUL SONG...
I WILL RAISE HIS NAME.. FOR THE LORD IS
RUDE.."
.
(And am wondering what she means by
"the lord is rude??)
.
She didn't even care. Instead she continued
.
"10 GLORY FATHER... 10 GLORY SON... 10
GLORY HOLY GHOST... NOW AND FOREVER
MORE"
(And I was like "Wetin)
.
As if that was not enough, she continued
.
"OWERRI TO CALVARY HE WENT FOR ME!, HE
WENT FOR ME!!.. HE DIED TO SELL ME FREE"........
.
(I wanted to shout, when she started again)
...
"JEHOVAH IS YOUR NAME,
JEHOVAH IS YOUR NAME,
19 WARRIORS,
8 IN BATTLE, JEHOVAH IS YOUR NAME "
.
she wanted to start another song then I ran
away from the church!



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-02-27 06:35:43

541 Views




Michael Jackson had cast actual gang members in his music video for “Beat It” and reformed them in the process of the filming.Related

.
ONE WRONG TURN
Episode 8

We got to church quite early, as it
is our usual tradition. The
compound was already bubbling
with life. Different brands of cars
packed around, reflecting the social
status of the parishioners.
The entire compound was saturated
with human activities, hawkers and
petty traders displayed their wares
anywere it would be visible.
People walking to and fro the walk
ways, dressed in different attires.
Some were simple and elegant like
me, others were extravagant and
flashy. Some modest and decent,
others wild and provocative.
This was a typical Sunday service,
the good, the bad and the ugly all
meet here, some to worship the
lord, some for entirely different
reasons.
Which group do I belong to? I
wasn’t sure anymore. I used to be a
good girl, but the thoughts that
have preoccupied my mind for the
past two days, makes me doubt my
own self.
Normally, everyone will go his
seperate way as soon as we arrived.
My mum and dad would find a
seat, Osas will meet up with the
man servants, while i join the alter
girls. Ighalo was always a
freelancer.
As i alighted from the car, i made
towards the entrance to the church
hall.
“did you not hear what i said this
morning”? My dad said rather
loudly.
“you are sitting next to me hence
forth”
I did not want to cause a scene, so
i stoped and waited for them.
My parents had a knack for picking
seats at the front. This means i had
to walk almost the entire length of
the hall. The different eyes staring
at me made me shy. I notice men,
old and young staring at my butt,
or looking up at my cleavage. I
scanned through the audience
hoping to catch sight of Ehis.
Mid way through the hall, i spotted
Ruth among the crowd. I fixed my
eyes firmly on her, hoping she
would turn towards my direction.
She sighted me from her position.
I’m very sure she would have come
towards me, if my parents weren’t
in front of me. My mum hated Ruth
and Hannah. They weren’t the most
decent of girls anyway.
She made a sign with her hand, to
notify me that she will get in
touch.
I marched along with my parents,
with my head up high, trying not
to notice the eyes starring at me.
We got a seat at the front row and
settled in, waiting for service to
start. Friends and wellwishers
stoped by to greet my parents. I
was really uncomfortable sitting
beside them.
My eyes kept roving about the hall,
hoping to see Ehis. He was
nowhere to be found.
I turned round, to look directly
behind me, i scanned face after
face discreetly.
A little tap on my shoulder brought
me back to my senses. I turned
round to see who it was.
It was Osato, my little friend.
Though just 10 years old, he was a
little too smart for his age. His
mother is a friend of our family.
He greeted my mum and dad, and
sat quietly beside me. Osato has
always been fond of me. We had
developed quite a bond. His sitting
close to me did not raise any
suspicions.
I could feel him nudging me with
his arm several times, so thought
the space between us was too tight
for him.
I tried to move away a little. Just
then, i noticed his palm
outstretched, between our tights.
There was a neatly folded sheet of
paper on it. This has to be a
message, i was sure of it.
I looked side ways towards my
parents, they were deeply involved
in a discussion with the catechist.
I snatched the note from Osato’s
palm, and hurriedly tucked it inside
my bible.
Osato got up, and hopped away.
His mission had been completed.
I opened my bible slowly, looking
for the page were i had hidden the
note.
I spotted the white paper, and
pretended to be reading my bible.
The message was short, but It’s
very content excited me.
To be continued

>>

Aunty:” baatein toh badi acchi kar leta hai tu..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Me:” bas aunty inhi bakchodiyon se aapki beti ko fasaya hua hai.. ???? ????Related

a man ND lion [Read it]


A man met a lion in d bush, he knelt down, closed his eyes & started praying. When he opend his eyes, he saw d lion kneeling in front of him & was praying too. He was shocked. He asked d lion "Are u a Christian"? The lion replied "Mumu. Dn't u pray b4 u eat"? D man fainted. Dn't laugh alone. Evelyn frnds







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-08 23:24:25

539 Views




Continues..
***back in the room I was***
Cassey: guys hold on I have a phone call. Hello honey, how are you?
Brenden:stop calling me honey. I want to see you.
I felt at once it was brenden because she won’t call someone else HONEY. So I shouted on the top of my voice HELP ME HELP ME
Cassey: (off phone’s background) guys shut that b---h up(in phone’s background)hey honey. Where?
Brenden:what’s that shout?
Cassey:its just my girls
Brenden:that was a single person’s shout voice not your girls. Now tell me who is it!!
Cassey:nobody trust me
Brenden: okay then let’s meet in your house
Casseyf course not let’s meet in campus
Brenden: no in your house I say!
Cassey: no please let’s meet in campus
Brendenkay if I get to campus I will call you(already in campus now heading to cassey’s house)
After the call, cassey came to me and slapped me. My hands were held by those two guys if not ehnn.
Cassey:do to her anything. Even if f-----g her till death
Guy1ur pleasure I shouted and screamed. But to Jo avail. The guys rushed me like hungry lions. They torr my shirt and exposed my bra. One of the unbuttoned my jean while the other one held my legs open. Whenever he dragged my jean down I will drag it up with my hands and whenever the other comes for my hands leaving my legs, I will shake off my legs kicking the one pulling of my jean.
I screamed until I couldn’t scream. My voice skipped. Just suddenly the door opened. It was brenden
Brenden:what’s the meaning of all these?
Cassey:uhmm I told you to meet at the campus
Brenden:so this is the reason you said that right?(he was now vexed) he slapped cassey and she fainted. The two guys went to fight him I quickly use that medium to button my jean and wear it more properly. After beating the guys he took the video camera and destroyed it also with the SD card he broke it. I was crying. I fondled my self around my legs sitting on the floor.
Brenden:sorry for all these. Are you okay?
Me:thank you but leave me alone! If not for you I wouldn’t be in this mess right now
Brenden:I understand but still am sorry
Me:please leave me be.
I stood up. Holy s--t! I was just on my bra,hungry,weak and tired. Before I could get to the door I fainted. In Europe,I have never been done this Kind of evil since u was born and I was sure it really took effects on me.
To be continued after comments..


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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BREAKING NEWS ..........EASTER MAY BE POSTPONED.
Report says that Judas is refusing to betray Jesus this year . He claims that
the 30 pieces of silver is too small due to current economy situation.
He is demanding 100% increment on the amount. Negotiation is still
ongoing which means that Easter may not be celebrated this year.
You are here by advised to free your goats and chicken awaiting
crucifixion during the Easter season until Judas receives alert
from his bank.
Judas and his entire family duly apologize for the inconveniences
caused.
signed: Judas


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-25 23:53:33

1052 Views




Continues..
Preston: neither was I
Me:then why were you like that all of a sudden?
Preston: just in case you and brenden were together. And if he tries having s-x with you. I was just doing that to see your reaction. And u passed
Me:hahahahahha. You are such a cute jealous boy.(holding his cheek) but guess what?
Preston: what?
Me: am feeling sleepy(I fell back on the sofa and rested my head on his legs)
Prestonk. Its bed time already.
I slept off as he played with my hair. I woke up 3am on the bed. I checked and saw preston on the chair inside the room. He was rolling and rolling till he fell from it. I laughed and went to him
Me:what’s the problem. Come sleep on the bed if you are not comfortable here.
Preston: not that I am not comfortable here. I just hate hearing noise when sleeping(truly there was noise, noise of s-x moans made by Miranda and presley)
Suddenly preston walked out of the room and went to Presley’s room and knocked
Presley:ye…e….esss, Who is th….e..re?
Preston:guy abeg reduce your volume nor turn me on abi u ready to borrow me your girlfriend?
Presley:OK sorry.
He came back inside and locked the door. I was just laughing.
Preston:why are you laughing uh?(he playfully ran to me and used his body to push me we both fell on the bed and he was on me again)
Me:I am laughing because its funny
Preston:really?(kissing me)
I didn’t respond because I could hardly catch a breath through my mouth. The kissing led to something else. This time he pulls of his shirt he also pulledy shirt once more exposing my bra. He moved from my lips to my chest down to my stomach and navel. This was not out of jealousy because he was strong and hard. His hood was already searching for my v----a.
Me:I hope your girlfriend won’t be angry about you having an affair?(I knew he had no girlfriend but I wanted him to ask me to be his girlfriend before we had s-x I am not a s--t).
To be continued..


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Student eyes [Read it]


Everyone who has seen the four walls of
school must agree with this illustration of
how students behave in class during
certain circumstances -
1. Students eyes in the class when the
teacher is talking:
(-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-)
2. Students’ eyes when teacher says
tomorrow will be exam:
(O_O) (O_O) (O_O) (O_O) (O_O) (O_O)
3. Students’ eyes during the exams:
(?_?) (?_?) (?_?) (?_?) (?_?) (?_?)
4. Students’ eyes when invigilator comes
in:
(?_?) (?_?) (?_?) (?_?) (?_?)
True or false?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-08 10:41:22

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