Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:

WhatsApp [Read it]


Nairajokes
I heard there was a WhatsApp group.
Why am I not added?
Somebody add please.

Here is my number 0722345255


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-07-15 10:30:31

265 Views




A woman tells her husband that she is going to visit her sick mum in the village. She goes on Friday and returns on Sunday, with plenty of fruits and food stuff, saying they are from her mum to the husband and the children. Then, the husband gently asks her about her mother's health and how she was doing, to which she replies that she took her to the hospital in the village and she is recovering and getting better. The wife adds that her mother insisted that she must re-visit the village in a few days, to spend at least a week with her. "I'm worried about Mama" the wife crooned, with tears swelling in her eyes. "She'll be fine, dear." Husband lovingly replied. The husband then politely asks her to take the items to the kitchen. As she enters, she meets her mother preparing food in the kitchen. Apparently, her mum came visiting since the Friday that she left home. You can imagine the plight of this woman. stuck, shocked, dazed and dumb founded at the kitchen door! whether to go in and drop the item's from mama', or return to her husband in the living room! How would you handle this case if u are the husband or what explanation will u give if u r d woman? Please your humble opinion is required.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-04 12:31:34

249 Views




Santa: I broke down and cried when my wife tried to commit suicide.

Banta: It’s natural – every guy would do that.

Santa: Quite right! That’s the nicest thing she’s ever attempted for me!Related

Akpos again. [Read it]


One day,Akpos went out and his head fell off when he saw his head was gone he piked it up bnd put it on,when he(AKPOS), got into the the street ,someone cried!,look at Your feet, AKPOS!,,,,,Akpos replied"I LOOK AT THEM AND SADLY SAID,I have left them both asleep in bed.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-08 18:33:08

435 Views




******AYOMIDE*****EPISODE 4*****
by Haryhomidey Enitan Komadan

She stopped and look back to see who is calling her..and I wave my hand so that she will see who is calling her,then she saw me and come back to meet me where I was standing.I guess you people should have know what is going to happen next,as she was leaving earlier,na so this olamide(my friend)word ring into my ear again,he always told me to wise up and not to be dulling myself whenever am with girls.
When she got to where I was standing na so we begin dey chat...
Convo****
Me:I am very sorry for calling you back I just want you to spare me some seconds...I was thinking it won't be okay if we don't try to get along with each other more than this since we've know ourselves today,pls what's your name?,I am Ayomide ...
Franciscah I think as much also but I don't want to be too forward you know as a lady I have to keep my pride also,my name is francisca..
She said in a cool voice which makes me more interested in talking with her,she is really friendly..all those fears inside me vanish without any traces,I come be like I don take some alcohol...I am now speaking with boldness...I ask if she is on whatsapp,..she gave me her number straightaway without hesitating when I finally request for her number...omg! I was so happy when she gave me the number,na so dbanj's "am on top of the world" dey ring inside my hrt..so na me this beautiful lady just give out her number to??...I ask myself rhetorically
Now at this point I was really confused,I can't really say maybe francisca was so easy on me because I am so handsome or maybe its becoz of what I did for her earlier...well am really unconcerned about that..(Remember I don't wanna fall in love again but don't you think I am falling in love again now?)...after we finish talking she left and I return to my mama supermarket,the
n I pick up my blackberry bold5 to call my friend OLAMIDE to tell her about my new friend FRANCISCA.....
I reach for my phone and I called OLAMIDE and gist him about all what happen between I and FRANCISCA,chai!!! Come and see how olamide dey praise me,he was really happy with me for the first time in 1 and half years though we are really close and bestfriends..he told me this is what he is expecting from me since all this while..he has already been telling me to always try and approach ladies...hmmm...Olamide told me to reason her very well and make I woo her,he even told me if she dey do rubbish make I link her with him..that means he go help me because he get much scope than me...I hang up and drop my phone to. Concentrate selling in my mum's shop...

>>

A teacher is teaching a class and
she sees that Johnny isn't paying
attention, so she asks him, "If
there are three ducks sitting on a
fence, and you shoot one, how
many are left?" Johnny says,
"None." The teacher asks, "Why?"
Johnny says, "Because the shot
scared them all off." The teacher
says, "No, two, but I like how
you're thinking." Johnny asks the
teacher, "If you see three women
walking out of an ice cream
parlor, one is licking her ice
cream, one is sucking her ice
cream, and one is biting her ice
cream, which one is married?"
The teacher says, "The one
sucking her ice cream." Johnny
says, "No, the one with the
wedding ring, but I like how
you're thinking!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-05 23:19:27

341 Views



music [Read it]



50% of psychotherapists are threatened, harassed or physically attacked by their patients at some point in their career.Related

Leave my house [Read it]



Have you had a guest who feel too comfortable in
your house and has decided to turn your house
into their own, there are ways to send them
parking..
1. Remove your TV cord.
2. Block your toilet flush. Tell your guest the toilet
is bad, and he/she has to be using the bush.
3. block the bathroom water outlet. Tel him/her
to be bathing outside.
4. Initiate fasting and prayer session for 2 months
against evil arrows while you hide to eat out.
5. Tel him your horticulturist said you should be
planting nice flowers in your cooking pot. Pour
clay soil in all pots. Plant palm kernel seeds
inside.
6. Invite like 7 of ur friends. To stay like 2days.
Sleep and lap each other at night.
7. Soak your foam in the rain.
8.Rent like 300 cockroaches from a yoruba
woman,distribute like 150 in his clothes and 150
in the bathroom and kitchen.
9. Shout at around 2am every night while you
guys are asleep saying these exact words,
“madam give me full intestine,liver and heart
without cooking I dey like chop them raw”
10- Call Phcn to disconnect your light.
If at the end he refuses to go…go to Hausa
quarters buy #2,000 bed bugs. Pour them on ur
foam and his clothes. D next day na him go wake
u. ‘Guy I don ready o. I de move. I no fit die b4
my time’.
Add yours. Lol.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-11 14:50:41

492 Views




Episodes:

Our Bed !!! [Read it]


At a small parish in rural England there lived a priest, and several nuns. One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray.
She went to the priest and told him, “Father, I believe your rugs need to be replaced soon.”
The priest thanked her for bringing it to his attention, and told her that he thought that she had been there long enough to refer to church property as ‘our’ not ‘your.’
Several days later, the same nun noticed that the hedge needed to be trimmed.
She again went to the priest and told him, “Father, I’ve noticed that your…I mean our hedge needs to be trimmed.”
The priest thanked her for again bringing something to his attention and this time asked her if she had seen his watch that had gone missing. She said she hadn’t, but assured him she would look for it.
A few days later the parish received word that the bishop would be coming for a visit. The entire parish was busy readying the church for the visit.
On the day the bishop arrived, the same nun came down the front stairs yelling, “Father! Father! I found your watch!”
The bishop said, “How wonderful my child. Where did you find it?”
After saying hello to the bishop, the nun turned to the priest and said, “I found it under OUR bed.”tempRelated

episode 2
Now the glamour was gone, and the white snowflower, like a porcelain wreath, froze on its grave. The danger of instability, the peculiarly DANGEROUS sort of selfishness, like lions and tigers, was also gone. There was now a complete stability, in which one could perish safely.
But they were growing up. And as they grew, they became more definitely confused, more actively puzzled. The Mater, as she grew older, grew blinder. Somebody had to lead her about. She did not get up till towards midday. Yet blind or bed-ridden, she held the house.
Besides, she wasn't bed-ridden. Whenever the MEN were present, the Mater was in her throne. She was too cunning to court neglect. Especially as she had rivals.
Her great rival was the younger girl, Yvette. Yvette had some of the vague, careless blitheness of She-who-was-Cynthia. But this one was more docile. Granny perhaps had caught her in time. Perhaps!
The rector adored Yvette, and spoiled her with a doting fondness; as much as to say: am I not a soft-hearted, indulgent old boy! He liked to have weaknesses to a hair's-breadth. She knew them, this opinion of himself, and the Mater knew his and she traded on them by turning them into decorations for him, for his character. He wanted, in his own eyes, to have a fascinating character, as women want to have fascinating dresses. And the Mater cunningly put beauty-spots over his defects and deficiencies. Her mother-love gave her the clue to his weaknesses, and she hid them for him with decorations. Whereas She-who-was-Cynthia - ! But don't mention HER, in this connection. In her eyes, the rector was almost humpbacked and an idiot.
The funny thing was, Granny secretly hated Lucille, the elder girl, more than the pampered Yvette. Lucille, the uneasy and irritable, was more conscious of being under Granny's power, than was the spoilt and vague Yvette.
On the other hand, Aunt Cissie hated Yvette. She hated her very name. Aunt Cissie's life had been sacrificed to the Mater, and Aunt Cissie knew it, and the Mater knew she knew it. Yet as the years went on, it became a convention. The convention of Aunt Cissie's sacrifice was accepted by everybody, including the self- same Cissie. She prayed a good deal about it. Which also showed that she had her own private feelings somewhere, poor thing. She had ceased to be Cissie, she had lost her life and her sex. And now, she was creeping towards fifty, strange green flares of rage would come up in her, and at such times, she was insane.
But Granny held her in her power. And Aunt Cissie's one object in life was to look after The Mater.
Aunt Cissie's green flares of hellish hate would go up against all young things, sometimes. Poor thing, she prayed and tried to obtain forgiveness from heaven. But what had been done to her, SHE could not forgive, and the vitriol would spurt in her veins sometimes.
It was not as if the Mater were a warm, kindly soul. She wasn't. She only seemed it, cunningly. And the fact dawned gradually on the girls. Under her old-fashioned lace cap, under her silver hair, under the black silk of her stout, forward-bulging body, this old woman had a cunning heart, seeking forever her own female power. And through the weakness of the unfresh, stagnant men she had bred, she kept her power, as her years rolled on, seventy to eighty, and from eighty on the new lap, towards ninety.
For in the family there was a whole tradition of "loyalty"; loyalty to one another, and especially to the Mater. The Mater, of course, was the pivot of the family. The family was her own extended ego. Naturally she covered it with her power. And her sons and daughters, being weak and disintegrated, naturally were loyal. Outside the family, what was there for them but danger and insult and ignominy? Had not the rector experienced it, in his marriage. So now, caution! Caution and loyalty, fronting the world! Let there be as much hate and friction INSIDE the family, as you like. To the outer world, a stubborn fence of unison.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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*ABEG DRESS BACK.
*If I hear pim, u go hear
weeen.
*Have they BROUGHT light?
*The FILM is SWEET
*Pls help me SLOW that fan
*Mummy HAVE come
*I'll tell my daddy FOR YOU
*Have you paid your school
fees money?
*See as you BAFF up
*Put the bread inside LYLON
*I strong KAKARAKA
*Oya come and be going
*I KUKUMA don't have your
time
*Shebi you have BB charger
*See how her eye is entering
my food
*Did you see the sound of my
ringtone?
*I know you have come since
bcoz I hear
your perfume.
Oya add your own ...lets hv fun..Good morning Peepz


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-31 22:09:36

455 Views



5 Minutes [Read it]


Honey I Told You I Would Be Back In Five Minute Why Then Do You Call Me Half An Hour


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-22 17:09:40

273 Views




Stupidity is when you visit an ice cream parlor instead of chemist when your girlfriend says, “I love chocolate flavor”.Related

Pontius pirate [Read it]


A man caught a thief at night in his kitchen. Been stuck, the thief said;
Do you remember what I said in the Bible? " I will come like a thief in the night, stay awake". I have come again and this time in your house. You are blessed among all men because you have stayed awake as I told you. And the man looked at him with a flinty smile and said sorry Jesus, you have again fallen into the house of Pontius Pilate. ????????????????


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-20 00:23:14

404 Views




Do you know dat it is only in nigeria dat question is used to answer a question. eg,

me: i want to buy salt.
salt sell: how much own do you want to buy?
me: how much own do you get/have.

do you know that nigeria will work phone and write it "made in china" but they will work rubberband and inscribe made in nigeria.

do you know that the title of the film dat van vicker and chioma chukwuka act will be "love at its best" but the one that segun arinze and chika ike act will be called " could this be love?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-09 16:51:17

406 Views




Johnny: Akpos, i heard you are the best joker in Nigeria.
Akpos: Yes o. God have been faithful o.My brother follow me thank God
Johnny: Ok, can you prove that to me with one of your best joke
Akpos: Ok, One day my girlfriend called me to send her credit and i sent her my account number.
Johnny: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA
Akpos: you dey feel me baa?
Johnny: but Akpos, thats not funny at all
Akpos: Why then did you laugh.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-29 07:57:52

438 Views




There were two houses standing next to each
other. In one of them resided a very unhappy
family. The spouses yelled at each other,
they fought and quarreled all the time. The
other was a place of happiness and calm.
During one of the fights a wife asked her
husband:
“Did you ever hear them quarrel or yell over
at that house? No!
So, go there and see what they do to avoid
it!”
The husband stood at the window of his
neighbors and watched. There they were busy
doing their own thing. The wife was in the
kitchen cooking, and the man sat at the table
writing. The phone rang, and the man jumped
up and headed to the hallway to get it.
On his way he bumped into a vase, it fell and
broke. He got down to his knees and started
picking up the pieces. The wife ran into the
room from the kitchen. She also kneeled down
and started helping her husband to pick them
up.
The man said to his wife:
“I am so sorry. I rushed to get the phone
and bumped into the vase. It fell and got
broken.”
The wife replied:
“No, honey, it is my fault. I put it there on
the way. That’s why you bumped into it.”
They kissed, and that was over. Both got
back to what they were doing.
The man who watched them returned to his
wife. She wanted to know what the secret of
their happiness was.
What he said was fantastic:
“I know it now. In their family they both are
guilty and in our family both of us are always
right!”
That’s the secret of family happiness!
Food for thought.
The "trick" isn't in not wanting to take
responsibility, but rather in not claiming
right.
There are times you need to forfeit your
right to win your peace: depends on which
you cherish most.
This recipe is applicable, not only in the
home, but also at work and in all
relationships. #trueTalk #B-goF #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Amanda brought in the chicken pepper soup 30minutes later with a new iphone6 pack with it..
The evil smirk on her face clearly showed her mind and the wild laugh she dabbled in on getting to my room.

Now clad in a short flowery gown as usual letting out a lot of thighs and cleavage giving junior sky a gentle nudge making it nod like a full grown agama lizard.

The sound of the t.v was heard obviously N.T.A as papa listened to his usual N.T.A boring news.
“Shall we finish what we started dearie” Amanda winked on dropping the contents she came with, can see her perky n-----s clearly pointing hard against the soft flimsy fabrics she wore.

She dragged me by the shoulder and pushed me hard into her crushing her beautiful boobs on me and the clearly bulged jnr sky grazing the base of her stomach..

Taking her face down she introduced her lips into mine with oozing amount of bolted in lust, twirling my tongue round with hers, my lower lip locked between her lips, her hands travelled down to jnr sky who was now throbbing hard inside my trouser.

“Oh God!!” i breathed out as i felt myself slipping, the poisonous lust Amanda had was more effective than that of a viper.
i could feel her tongue sliding down my stomach, her hands lifting my flimsy white singlet as her tongue attacked the base of my abdomen travelling downwards more towards jnr sky.

My eyes were shut tight and knees jerking a bit as tingling sensations sent from the base of my stomach up to my brain then all the way down to my toes making them curl induced mild moaning from my mouth..

“Aunty please stop” I blurted out opening my eyes and looking down on her, my mouth still wide open and toes slightly curled not fully snapped out of the spell.

The surprise in her eyes as she lifted her face high up looking squarely into my eyes sent a chilly scare down my spine..
“Whats the matter sky?” she intoned still maintain a light grip on jnr sky through my boxer with her right hand.

Beads of sweat ran down my face in a weird succession.
“Just relax baby” She whispered, resuming her handy assault on junior sky sending my whole body quaking again in dire pleasure and obvious surrender.

“Aunty please it’s alright” i blurted out again this time a bit loud reaching down almost immediately to drag her upwards.
where ever i found such strength i don’t know, still surprised at myself even.

“Please aunty, i don’t think this is right” i announced tilting my face a bit downwards like a student called to the staff room to be questioned by teachers.

“Sky what is wrong” she said peering into my eyes with a questioning and searching eyes almost Jessy-like.
“Nothing, i just don’t feel like continuing” a little boldness crept in now in my words inducing a surge of confidence and a will to stop once and for all.

Amanda gave a mild laugh with those boobs vibrating as she laughed.
“So sky you can fear like this?” she intoned bolting into another round of laugh..
“So because of this small thing that happened, you suddenly turned into a big wimp eeh kwa?” her laughy face was turning a bit serious now.

“No am not just in the mood anymore” another surprisingly bold words found it’s way out of my mouth.

“Common relax and stop being so paranoid” she said bringing her body close to mine again.
could hear those lips calling to me, those boobs yelling for me to touch them and jnr sky struggling to break free. Am sure jnr sky would have beaten me up if it could.

Her lips met mine again and her hands dragging my head deeper into hers with an unseen roughness.
“I don enter am today na, wahala gidi gan** my heart raced.

“What if papa comes to check on me again and he certainly will” the saintly part of my mind queried making me give her a gentle push taking a couple of steps backwards..

“Please aunty, its ok i don’t want again” I blurted out now with every air of seriousness looking into her eyes this time, squeezing my face to look serious.

Could make out huge surprise, disappointment and a buttered in anger all over her face and her eyes still bearing that questioning glow.

“Ok sky i can see you really not in the mood” She announced turning at the same time to leave.
I watched her walk gracefully with her feet seemingly not touching the ground and those a-s more dangerously swaying that ever.

She disappeared into the hall way after a last disappointing but strangely flirting look at me with her lips slightly pouted as faint resounding footsteps took her further away from my room probably to join her husband..

I fell back on the bed with a thud heaving a loud sigh of mixed unsure feelings.
“How could i turn Amanda down?”
“Is she gone for good?”
“Did i even do the right thing?”

Jnr sky bulged hugely under my boxers strongly made it’s own opinion known that i stupidly f----d up with hard throbbing nods it employed under my boxer.

I have even lost appetite for this pepper soup..

..To be continued..


Catch the final Episodes of Season 1 on Monday

Drop your comments pls

>>

I want to be as a Good close Friend something like ur bra; Comfortable, Supportive, Prevent u from falling, Holds u tight n Is always close to ur heart ….Related

Written By: Haryhomidey Enitan Komadan

Episodes:

a wife response [Read it]


After being married for 50 years, I took
a careful look at my wife one day and
said,
“Fifty years ago we had a cheap house,
a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and
watched a 10—inch black and white TV,
but I got to sleep with a hot 23—year—
old girl every night.
Now, I have a $500,000 home, a
$45,000 car, a nice
big bed and a large screen TV, but I’m
sleeping with a 73—year—old woman.
It seems to me that you’re not holding
up your side of things.”
My wife is a very reasonable
woman. She told me to go out and find
a hot 23—year—old girl
and she would make sure that I would
once again be living in a cheap house,
driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa
bed and watching a 10—inch black and
white TV.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-04 12:55:29

396 Views




Akpos was discussing with his colleague Emeka in the office.
Akpos: This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Right now am so afraid.
Emeka: hahahaha why are you afraid?
Akpos: I can't control it again.
Emeka: control what?
Akpos: I want to pee.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-21 11:42:00

942 Views




maine zindgi me dhoke he khaye h…..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.mango , grapes, apple, chikhu sb dhoke he khaye h …

ap b dhoke he khana ………!!!

hahahahahahahahahRelated

The funeral parlor called the 85 year old widow to tell her that her 90 year old husband had died with such a massive erection that he could not close the lid of the coffin. He had never seen such seen such a big pecker.


Well she said, “Cut it off as close to his body as you can then put it up his ass”.


The next day the whole family arrived at the funeral home to pay their respects and the widow knelt down near her departed husband and noticed there was a tear coming down his cheek.


She leaned over and whispered in his ear, “I told you it hurt you old fucker!”Related

DON'T WORRY [Read it]


You've been dating him for almost
6yrs, had 6 abortions for him and he
says he can't marry u?! KILL HIM!!!
God will understand!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-02 00:20:20

322 Views




Professor Ilonna took another sip of his tea and returned the cup back to the saucer.

He pushed his chair back a little and stood.

As soon as the last of him disappeared through the staircase, Nnanna appeared from the adjacent door and ran to the table.

He looked round and then removed the small bottle from his pocket.

He added a few drops of the brown content into the tea, shook the cup a little and ran away.

Upstairs, in his room, Prof turned his eyes away from the CCTV monitor and walked into his study to pick what he’d come to find.

He returned to the dining table with the book and then called out to Ese to come and dispose of the tea.

He picked his case of glasses on the table and walked outside to the back of the building where two folding chairs stood under a grove of citrus trees.

He sat down on one of the chairs, wore his glasses and opened his book.

He found comfort in the cool shade the trees provided and particularly enjoyed the tangy smell of the fruits and flowers.

***

When it was night and he was sure the boy who had earlier tried to poison him would be sleeping, he rose from his bed and walked to his room.

Nnanna lay sprawled on his bed, snoring away in deep sleep.

Prof stared at him for a while before he put one hand in one of the pockets of his long sleeping garment and brought out a small vial.

It contained a kind of alcohol.

He bent to the sleeping boy and let a drop of the liquid fall on each of his eyes.

He’d left the room when Nnanna felt a tingling and sleepily rubbed his eyes over.

And in the process he rubbed in the substance fully into his eyes.

And they began to burn.

Adaeze got up from her bed when she heard his scream. She tied the ropes of her night dress together, slipped her feet into the rubber flip-flops at the foot of the bed and scuttled out of the room.

She got to Nnanna’s room almost at the same time as Prof.

They both asked the same questions, but the boy was too hurt to utter something comprehensible.

He only kept on crying and rubbing his eyes.

‘Let’s take him to the hospital,’ Adaeze said.

‘Adaeze, it is past midnight already,’ Prof said. ‘Take him to the bathroom and have his face thoroughly washed. I’m sure it must be some insect that entered his eyes.’

Adaeze nodded and quickly obeyed.

But by morning, Nnanna’s eyes had reddened over.

By the time they got to the hospital, the boy was seeing nothing again.

***

When John knocked, his wife did not get up to open the door for him, as normally was the case.

He had to open the door himself.

And then he saw her and the look on her face.

His eyes darted across to the other person sitting in his living room and he understood.

Ekene stood on seeing him and said, ‘Good evening, sir.’

‘Evening, Ekene, sit down,’ he said.

He sat back down.

John looked at his wife again. She blinked hard in discontent and turned her face away.

He ignored her and walked past and sat. ‘Doris, have you offered him anything?’ he asked.

Nothing came from Doris.

‘Doris?’

‘I didn’t offer him anything,’ Doris flung out.

John turned to Ekene, but before he could say something, Ekene responded: ‘No, I’m fine.’

Doris looked at him and looked away again as his eyes were turning to her.

She appeared restless—the way she wriggled on the seat— but she only was just bitter.

‘Get me water to drink,’ John said to his wife.

She didn’t stand up immediately.

‘Doris!’

And then she stood, but she walked past the tall fridge standing opposite the dining table where she could have gotten water.

She entered the bedroom.

John stood and walked to the fridge himself and poured himself a glass of cold water.

He drank another glass before returning to join Ekene in the living room.

‘How is your mother?’ he asked.

‘She is fine,’ Ekene said.

‘Did she send you?’

‘No.’

John left his eyes on him.

‘I came to ask you about something.’

‘Ok.’

‘Do you know who my real father is?’

The few folds of skin on John’s face appeared to stretch out. He stared at Ekene for quite some time, and then he hung his head, his legs joggling slightly.

Ekene watched him.

‘How did you find out?’ the man finally raised his head and asked.

‘It is a long story,’ Ekene said.

John nodded. ‘Well, I don’t. Your mother never told me.’

‘You asked her?’

‘More than twice.’

‘Was that why the fight?’

John stared at him in his manner again, and then he nodded, ever so weakly.

‘What about my sisters?’

‘What about them?’

‘You are neither their father too?’

‘No.’

Ekene nodded. He stood. ‘I will be leaving now.’

John stood. ‘Look, you may not be my blood but are free to come to me anytime for anything. I will always be here for you.’

Ekene stared at him and then nodded.

When the door closed behind him, Doris turned her ear away from the door and walked to the bed.

She sat down with her legs spread apart and joggling, but she was no longer as furious as she previously was

>>

A little note to say:

You are always on my mind and very close to my heart.Related

Employee : Sir, you called me?
Boss : Yeah,go to the rest room and
masturbate.
Employee : (After few mins) ,done sir
Boss : Do it again.
Employee : Done again, sir.
Boss : Do it once more
Employee : Now I don't have
stamina for it, sir.
Boss : Very good,here are my car
keys, drop my daughter at home.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-06 23:09:35

1088 Views




Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in Maine, I was stopped by a state trooper in New York for exceeding the speed limit.Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, I gave him a small bag of my grandmother’s delicious chocolate-chip cookies and proceeded on my way.A short time later, I was stopped by another trooper.“What have I done?” I asked.“Nothing,” the trooper said, smiling. “I heard you were passing out great chocolate-chip cookies.”Related

“What did you buy your husband for his birthday?”

“Well, knowing he wanted a diary, I bought him one that locked; he’s so particular about his notes.”

“And surely you bought something for yourself?”

“Oh, yes; I bought myself a duplicate key for the diary.”Related

15k [Read it]


Girlfriend: Hey
Boyfriend: Who's Hey? Don't ever
call me that.
Girlfriend: Sorry! My Love, how
are you doing?
Boyfriend: I'm Fine! And You?
Girlfriend: I'm fine, but I need
something from you...
Boyfriend: What?
Girlfriend: Sweetie please could
you SEND me 15k?
Boyfriend: 15k for what?
Girlfriend: 5k for my clothes, 7k
for my hair+nails and 3k for my
shoes..
Boyfriend: Awww sure my love,
here...
k,
k,
k,
k,
k,
k,
k,
k,
k,
k,
k,
k,
k,
k,
k .
Count it, its complete and take
this extra 2k.
k,
k
that's for your perfume. I love
You


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-15 20:20:10

354 Views



Joke by Dindy [Read it]


JOKE BY DINDY
Boy:please can I see your pix?
Girl:kk
.
.
Picture sent??
.
.
Picture received??
.
.
Boy:wow you look beautiful....you look so 24....how old are you?
Girl:I am 18
Boy:huh?.....i said your age not your junior sister's age.........lol
#DINDY WROTE THIS=> facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-08-30 21:20:43

417 Views




If you can make a woman laugh, you’re almost there.

If you’re almost there and she laughs… Now that’s a different thing!

– Marilyn MonroeRelated

A software engineer was smoking.

Girl: Didnt you see the warning? Smoking is injurious to health.

Er.: We bother only about errors & not warnings.Related

Sex is unclean, not because of the pleasure, but because of the suffering it brings.

-Theodore RoeszakRelated

NAMELESS (EPISODE THIRTEEN) STORIES DA VIBA
Please do not share without taking permission from us, thanks for reading.
:
:
Nonsegzy De Magnificenti
~Antagonism despite being despicable and detrimental has an inexplicable way of rekindling palpitation~
:
:
.....YEARS LATER.....
[color =navy blue] After the death of Miriam's child, God watered her womb, although being Unknowledgeable of the act.
Months after the sudden visitation of predicaments, to their family that she found out that "Her endometrium has been stiffened for long".
She later gave birth to a healthy baby girl. It was during such occasions that Godson got a call from his friend Segun, who prompted seeing him when the collision with BOY happened.
She is quite an interesting girl to be with. Her charismatic nature was indeed a reflection of her mothers.
In school, her grades were a magnetic component that drew both teachers and pupils to her amiable nature. Her skin 'pulps' publicized her family's healthy financial status.
Lady Miriam wouldn't have loved any other daughter more than she loved her. She was cool and homely. What else would a mother pray for.
Despite the ocean of persons who were acquainted to her in school, she had a best friend who was two and four months younger than she was. They had been friends since the first day they met under the gmelina tree, one hot afternoon.
That day, some kids were fighting over some candies but her presence brought peace and understanding into the group. This was exactly what attracted lady Miriam's daughter to her.
They were birds of the same promage and there were no scrubbing or scrutinizing of thoughts and ideas; they just became best of friends.
Their parents, had respectively heard lots about this friendship but they've never met this uncommon hero who friend their daughters.
He wished his daughter was a son, but he loved her anyway. This girl had been a consolation to his family. He wouldn't fail to buy a birthday present for his daughters best friend as he had promised.
Life was quite difficult this time for him, but he won't fail to make sure that he keeps to his words. Next time, he'd learn to be more solid and make her understand that every of her wishes must not be responded to.
"These kids do not know what life is, but what are parents for if not...?", He murmured as he drove out of the mechanic shop to meet Segun at the dealer's office.
.....FLASH BACK AT BOY NEW HOUSE.....
The more Esther thought about those words, the more she snide and regret her past actions betrothed to naivety.
"I have told you countless time to forget about the past and focus on the future, we have BOY now and i know things will come back to normal", Adam consoled while Esther kept soliloquizing........to be continue.
"What if it was You?!!".
WORDS OF THOUGHT FOR
TEENAGERS.
Be careful of the life you entangle yourself with, It might be few seconds of strength-draining that could lead to years of Pitiful life-dwelling. Mistake would be made hats, what makes us humans, but what criticizes our make puts life at stake. The sex, kissing, hugging, sweet words and cuddling is so palpable, but is it the right time for such? like i always say..
~Moments would be forgotten, but its fruits is what keeps it fresh in our memories, Be warned!!.
This story is brought to you by Stories Da Viba and was written by;
1). Nonsegzy
2). Evybliss
3). Princeprezide
4). Dindy
5). Blexxybaby
6). Nelly
Watch out for episode 14, your comments are needed... Please like our page on facebook "Stories Da Viba".






NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Lia narrates

Seeing Ele, the love of my life having canal knowledge with another woman in the middle of a deep blue sea was something I never imagined in my wildest dreams, but it happened! If pains could kill, could be dead by now. If the loathing I feel for my Ele Boje could be released, it would kill way faster than a nuclear weapon. They were not aware of my conscious presence as they sailed into the world of fornication till they fell asleep.

Voices from afar jolted me from my reverie. It then occurred to me we are yet to get out of trouble. I quickly got up but felt a sharp pain on my legs as I remembered my injury which had just started healing. I ran towards Ele and Aarti who were still unclad to wake them up.

“Ele! Aarti! Get up!”, I kicked them angrily while they got up sluggishly.

“The ritual killers are here!” as if retrieving their lost senses they quickly got up at the sound of ritual killers while I smirked in satisfaction as they struggled to cover their unclad bodies.

“Que-en-cy, I ca-n e-x-pla-in”, my Ele Boje stammered.

“Lia dearie, it’s not what you think… it was the devil”, Aarti followed up having a scared look.

“We don’t have time for this, when we get out of this mess, you both will explain to me where you met the devil”, I countered.

“Yes ma!”, they replied simultaneously in a shaky voice shivering as
I gave a wry smile in contentment.

“Let’s get moving!”, I said in a commanding tone.

“yes ma!”, they replied as I was already feeling like a queen.

Ledan narrates

My mind couldn’t be at peace throughout the journey especially after little witch had a Freudian slip minutes ago. I know it wasn’t a song but a mistake, a slip of tongue!

I promised myself to get to the root of the matter after the matter sooner than later after rescuing my son. I so hoped it wasn’t Ele she was planning to kill or ill redesign her brain matter at the spot.
We landed at a safe distance from the place where the men of the underworld domiciled. I took the lead because I was more experience in this kind of events as the others followed closely behind. We saw two guards at an entrance mounting the door of a small hut. I signaled to Auto who followed my lead as we rendered both guards unconscious as silent as possible. We poured water from one of the bottles we brought on one of the guards who regained consciousness. After a series of tortures, he finally confessed of the escape of some kids who were brought in yesterday. He said majority of the men had gone after them since the early hours of the morning and would have been caught by now since the forest was surrounded by their men.

“Oh my Ele!”, what calamity have I brought upon you, I lamented outwardly!

“It’s not time to lament, every seconds is important, let’s get moving guys”, Dija said in the general way.

“Yes ma’am!”, Auto and Manual replied.

Ele narrates

We had filled in Queency on the plan. The traps we set were killing the men one after the other with Aarti offering to act as a bait but we all know it couldn’t last but just to hold the men down for long. The good time I had with Aarti last night had made me so tired and weak, coupled with the fact I hadn’t eaten for the past 24 hours. I regretted when I met Aarti, and I began to wish she had been killed by mancho man. She had gotten me into this met by seducing me making me lose my sanity at that moment.

“Ele, there are no more traps again, what do we do?” Aarti managed to scream under her breadth which is understandable because she must have be tired from running around.
“What do we do now?”, we all asked simultaneously as we heard
voices and footsteps coming towards us.

“Run!”, we said in unison as we ran for our dear lives.

As I was running, I looked back and saw one of the gunmen aiming at Aarti, I quickly jumped to stop the short from hitting her as I got
hit by a bullet in my left hand.

“Ele!”, Queency and Aarti cried out as they stopped running.

“Don’t stop! Keep running girls”, I managed to scream at them.

“But we can’t leave you here?”, Queency replied crying.

“Do you want us all to die together? If you truly love me as you claim, you will do as I say.”, I said my eyes getting blurred as I talked to no one in particular.

“My Ele Boje, stay alive for us, live so you can explain what happened between you and that wench last night, ok?”, Queency pleaded unable to control the tears in her eyes as she ran away with Aarti.

“I heart you so much Ele Boje”,Queency screamed as her image faded into space.

“I heart you so most Queency”, I screamed back as I approached the three gunmen coming towards me. I had cheated death so many times in the last 24 hours, an historical record no one might have held or would ever break. I was ready to die for Queency and Aarti but I was not ready to die easily without taking these men with me.

I rushed at the oncoming men with all the strength I could muster in me only to be met by a kick which sent me sprawling on the floor. The pain was worse than death itself, all I wish for was death at that moment. One of the men came to me and pointed his gun on my forehead.

“You ran out of luck kid!”, he gave a smirk as I closed my eyes when he attempted to pull the trigger.

Pow! Pow!! Pow!!! I heard three shots.

“Open your eyes boy”, I heard a masculine voice said.

“It’s not what you think Satan, please cast me in the lakes of fire.. I don’t really mean to cheat on Queency, I love her so..”, I was protesting before I felt a hand on my face. I slowly opened my eyes to see a young handsome man with a gun in his hand and a girl who looks like a fairy beside him clad in hunters clothes.

“I am Gabriel Iyke and I’m Delight!”, they introduced themselves without asking.

“Who are you guys please?”, I asked feeling confused.

“A.ss savers!”, they replied simultaneaously.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Exams [Read it]


Exams come and gone
Credit come and gone
But if you run mad it forever.stay calm


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-13 20:49:51

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