Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Wohi Wehshat, Wohi Hairat, Wohi Tanhai Hai ‘Mohsin’?

Teri Aankhein Mere Khawabon Se Kitni Milti Julti Hain!Related

Akpors: Who is the minister of education?
Children: Mrs Dame Patience Jonathan
Akpors: Correct! Who is CBN governor?”
Children: Aliko Dangote
Akpors: Correct! Who is the minister for sports.
Children: Stephen keshi
Akpors: Correct! Who composed the national anthem of Nigeria
Children: Wizkid
Akpors: Correct! What is 2 5?
Children: 25
Akpors:- Correct! What is the capital of Nigeria?
Children: Aba
Akpors:. Correct! Who stopped the killing of twins?
Children: Psquare
Akpors: Correct! Who is the minister for women affairs?
Children: Genevieve Nnaji
Akpors: Correct! Who is d governor of Anambra state?
Children. “Baba Tunde Fashola”
Akpors: Correct! Good children! Clap for yourselves (children clas)
Akpors: Everything will remain like this until government increases my salary!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-02 20:24:28

163 Views




Saturday was here and everytyn was going
according to plan, I went to my parent house
and we moved from there to my in-law’s
house around 10am. It was a full merriment
and happiness was in the air even though
deep down me, the marriage was on cos I had
to option and I tried my best to convince my
parent but they wouldn’t listen and I believe
the major reason was because they have been
pestering my life to get married for the past
two years which have been dribbling them that
it was not yet time. Mary provided them with
good opportunity to tie down my hand with
them and forced my hand into Marriage.
Did I even say force my hand? Hell no, I was
the one that brought all the calamity into my
life and mary also used the opportunity. Only
that its looked like a plan work between my
parent and Mary as if they planted her into
my life the first day I set my eyes on her.
We finished our Marriage as early as 5pm and
left my inlaw’s house with my wife to my own
house, its not even so glaring in my house
that I was doing anything that day. My mum
and some of mary’s friend escorted her home
and by the time it was getting to around 6pm,
people started leaving one after the other and
even my mum said she wont be sleeping over
as she couldn’t leave my dad alone at home.
Only that she might want to leave late.
My mum decided to leave around 6pm and I
volunteered to drop her at home, Mary wanted
to follow us but she discouraged her saying
she needs to relax.
I was driving back home from my parent
house when my phone started ringing with
unknown number
Me: Hello……good evening
Voice: Good Evening…….Congratulations oooo
oko iyawo
Me: Thanks very much
Voice: A gbohun iya, a gbohun omo oooo
Me: Amin……(I quickly recognized the voice)
Me: Biola…..Biola, why did you do this to me
Biola
She cut the call on me and I could feel it from
the background that it was as if she was
crying or something as it shows in her voice.
I parked somewhere and started thinking
again, only if she didn’t hide her number to
call me I would have called back atleast we
can still be friends even if things didn’t work
out between us. I rested for like 10mins before
I started moving again..not drove up to 5mins
when my phone started ringing again, still the
same unknown number
Me: Please Biola…why are you hiding your
number from me..atleast not being together
doesn’t mean we should stop talking now…I
searched for you everywhere, I was told you
are on leave in the office, you are not in your
parent house too as hardly a day goes by
without me going there to search for you…
Biola: No need to search for me Snakie..we
belong to the past, how was today’s
ceremony? Hope evrytyn went as planned
Me: We thank God..but where are you
Biola: Forget about where I am jare
Me: Whats your number now…why are you
hiding your number to call me?
Biola: Am only calling to find out about how
the programme went ni jhoor….I know if the
wedding had been in a church, u know that
awkward moment when pastor will ask if
someone has anytyn against the marriage, I
imagine what would run through your mind
Me: Nothing now..because I know you can
never do anytyn to disrupt the process..i trust
you for that
Biola: Don’t be too sure ooo snakie, its not
the same Biola again oooo
Me: what has changed in the Biola that I
knew…
Biola: So many things but lets forget about
it…I hope am not disturbing your honeymoon
Me: which honeymoon…am not even at home
Biola: Where are you? U don go do side runs
again on your wedding night
Me: No oooo…trust me now
Biola: Trust ke? For where………..abi I don trust
you ni
Me: Ahn ahn Biola….Mary was an avoidable
mistake and I regretted everything that
happened, I never knew it will come out this
way
Biola: The same way you can go and block
now and wont know the outcome till it
happen…just know that you are now a married
man and you should be responsible, learn
from the past mistake
Me: Why are you talking like this now Biola…
well I went to drop mummy at home and am
driving back to Egbeda..had to park when your
call came in now….But Biola, you know this
whole marriage stuff is just an ishh to me..you
know I never wanted it..after we had plan
about everytyn and you disappeared just like
that..thats so unfair Biola.
Biola: whats so unfair when your parent was
on my neck…most especially your mum,
calling me everyday begging me to leave you
alone..what do u expect from me when its not
as if I cant find another gu of my own even
though it might not be so easy but am sure
my own man will still come.
Me: Uhmmmmm…….so, that means you have
totally forget about me
Bola:abi…what next, you belong to another
lady now, you are married and you need to
enjoy your marriage even though……forget
about it
Me: Even though what baby? Pls say your
mind now……..even though its so hard to let
go abi? Even though you wis its our marriage
today..even though you wish am right there
beside you now….thats what I was telling you
the other time by not letting people dictate
our lives for us, we are adult and we can
decide what we want out of life…you know I
will never accept for today to happen if not
that you vanished away, if not that you
abandoned me at the critical time when I
needed you beside me, if not that you let my
parent brainwashed you into releasing what
rightly belongs to you..your hard labour for
crying out loud. We have been together from
scratch to where we are right now but you let
somebody from nowhere to come and reap all
what you labored for. You know I don’t love
Mary and I will never love her..you are my life
and everytyn, you are the one I want to spend
the rest of my life with..you mean everytyn to
me and I still love you so much just like before
and I know you still love me too baby


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Kanjoos(Miser) lawyer working in UK wrote to his wife in India .Dear Sunita Darling,I can’t send you my salary this month because the global market crisis has affected my Company’s performance, so I am sending 100 kisses.You are my sweetheart, please understand and adjust with this situation.Your loving husband,TunaHis wife replied..TINKU KE PAPPA,
Thanks for the 100 kisses.Below is the list of expenses I paid with the Kisses…1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s milk.2. The electricity man, Kooldip Singh, agreed not to disconnect only after 7 kisses.3. Your landlord Kapal Singh comes every day to take 2 or 3 kisses instead of the monthly rent.4. Supermarket owner Jaswant Singh did not accept kisses only, so I gave him other items, I hope you understand.5. Miscellaneous expenses 40 kisses.Please don’t worry about me, I still have a balance of 35 kisses andI hope I can survive the month using this balance.Shall I plan the same for the next month?Your Sweet Heart,SunitaRelated

A housewife decided to surprise her
husband at work, so she prepared his
favourite meal for lunch; Semo and
Ogbono soup. When she opened his office
door, she found his secretary sitting on his
lap. Without missing a beat, he addressed
them with a straight face, “…and in
conclusion, gentlemen, even though we
are experiencing financial constraints, I
cannot continue to operate in this office
with just one chair. My secretary has no
where else to sit. We must provide more
chairs”.
Is this not the sharpest Naija husband?



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-16 18:32:23

1119 Views




Tainu Rabb De Kolo Mangya Si Par Kismat De Vich Na Likha Sake;

Is Duniya Kolo Door Ja Ke Vi Assi Teinu Dil Vichon Na Bhula Sake!

(PUNJABI)Related

Ivory Coast and  Manchester City of England play maker,
Yaya Toure has claimed the 2014 Glo-CAF African Footballer of the Year
award, thus winn-ing it for the fourth straight time, since 2011. The
Ivorian midfielder who is 1.88 meters tall was born in Bouake in May,
1983.
He has over 85 caps for Ivory Coast with 16 goals while his appearance for Manchester City is above
140 with over 39 goals.
The
Ivorian captain defeated his nearest rival, Nigeria captain and first
choice goalkeeper, Vincent Enyeama and Gabon international,
Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang.
Toure was voted African Footballer of The Year for 2011, 2012 and 2013 respectively.

While in Bacelona, his club side won six trophies in 2009 alone. He was
nominated for The Personality of The Year Award at the MTV Africa Music
Awards in July 2014. He was also nominated for the Prize in
Entertainment category at the 2014 edition of The Future Africa Awards.
With this towering profile, the Ivorian captain was clearly, the pundits’ favourite to cart home the prestigious award.

Eyama's Respons: I think he should have won jor...


OTHER WINNERS
•National Team of the Year – Algeria
Women National Team of the Year – Nigeria
Club of the Year – ES Setif (Algeria)
Most Promising Talent – Yacine Braimih – Algeria
Best Youth Player of the Year – Asisat Oshoala – Nigeria
Woman Footballer of the Year – Asisat Oshoala
Coach of the Year – Kheeireddine Madoui (ES Setif) of Algeria

Aiden's doctor was an old guy with grey hair and glasses. He was very friendly and he calmed my nerves that had been building for the last couple of days.

He asked me a few questions and then he leaned back in his chair looking at me.

"I don't want to waste your time so I'm going to refer you to a specialist," he informed me.

Specialist. My fear spiked.

"I'm limited with the tests that I can run and a specialist will be able to do a more thorough check than I can," he began to explain as he reached for a notepad and paper on his desk.

I was finding it hard to keep myself from freaking out. It wasn't like I hadn't thought that it might happen but the fact that it was amplifying all the fears I'd been experiencing since I'd fainted.

He scribbled on the notepad and then tore off the paper. Seeing my obvious fear his eyes softened as he handed me the paper.

"This doesn't mean that it's something that can't be fixed," he said trying to ease my fear. I nodded as I gripped the paper in my hand. I took a deep breath and released it.

Outside his office Aiden was sitting in the waiting room. He got up and walked out with me.

"Everything okay?" he asked as we walked out of the building and into the car park.

"Yes," I lied trying to keep it together. If I broke down now I'd have to explain to him why and I didn't want him to know.

I couldn't even try and figure out how I was going to go see the specialist without Aiden becoming more suspicious that something was going on. I didn't want to involve my family either.

Once Aiden dropped me off I went straight upstairs to my room to collect myself before I had to face my family. I sat down at my laptop and googled the specialist to see where his office was. When I managed to find a bus route to the specialist I began to feel a little better. I would be able to take the bus to go and see him, which meant no one had to know.

It was better to get it over and done with. I was scared that if I didn't call to make an appointment now I would let my fear keep me from getting myself checked out. A friendly receptionist answered. He was a busy doctor so it would take a week before I was able to see him.

A whole week, seven days, it would feel like forever.

I went into my bathroom and splashed some water on my face to try and pull myself together. As I dried my face I looked at my reflection. Did I look like someone who was sick? I thought I looked normal and healthy but that might not be the case. Taking a deep breath I held it for moment and expelled it trying to rid myself of the negative emotions.

Staying positive was the only way I was going to be able to keep it from everyone and there only way I would be able to keep it together until I saw the specialist.

But it was easier said then done especially with Grey watching on me all the time. Even at the dinner table I had to keep my eyes from meeting his. I was scared he would be able to see what I was trying to hide.

"Are you okay?" my mom asked noticing my somber mood.

"Yeah, I'm just tired," I lied as I set my fork down. I lifted my eyes to meet hers and she gave me a soft smile.

"You haven't eaten much either?" she said and I looked down to my plate. She was right I'd been picking at my food for the last half an hour. I didn't have much of an appetite. Balls of nervous knots hadn't left enough space for food in my stomach.

I could feel the burn of Grey's eyes on me but I refused to look his way.

"I'm just not that hungry," I said with a shrug. Despite my best attempts to keep my fears to myself I felt like I was failing miserably.

"I think I just need an early night," I told my mom giving her my biggest smile to hide my true feelings.

"Okay baby," my mom said, still looking at me with concern.

I got out of there as fast as I could. Inside the safety of my room I felt a wave of the emotions I'd been smothering since I'd been to the doctor. My hands clamped over my mouth as a sob tore from me. I was so scared. Tears slipped down my cheek as I sat down my bed trying to keep myself from crying too loud in case someone heard me. My mom was concerned and she might come up to check up on me.

My sobs turned to whimpers as my tears slowed. I wiped the tears from my cheeks as my emotions began to ease. I felt tired but I felt a little better that I'd had a cry. I had a quick shower before I went to bed.

Even though I felt exhausted sleep eluded me. I lay in the dark staring up at the ceiling trying to cope with the fact that something really bad could be wrong with me and there was a chance that nothing would be able to fix it.

It was hard to hold onto the hope that it could be something small that could be sorted out easily. I was a born worrier so there was no chance that I wouldn't worry until I found out from the specialist what was wrong with me.

Just a few weeks ago I was worrying about what I was going to do with the rest of my life and now I was worrying if I would even have a future to live.

I tossed and turned for most of the night and the next morning I was even more tired. I could have called in sick to work but I needed something to keep my mind busy. If I stayed at home all I would do is spend ever moment thinking about my migraines and the specialist.

Being at work was hard. I struggled to concentrate on what I had to do. I forgot orders and got a couple of tables confused.

Jax pulled me aside half way through my shift.

"Are you okay?" he asked with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I told him. "I just can't seem to concentrate today."

"It's fine. We all have off days," he sympathized.

By the end of the day I was tired and I could feel a headache starting up. I wasn't surprised. With all the stress I'd been expecting it.

It didn't help that when I stepped out of the restaurant instead of my mom's car there stood Grey's car. I wasn't in the mood for another one of his concerned conversations.

Feeling my mood darken immediately I walked to the vehicle. Even though I was tired and knew I was in for another lecture with him I couldn't help the flutter inside of me when his eyes connected with mine.

"Hi," I greeted him as I got into his car.

"Hi," he greeted me. "Your mom was running late and asked me to pick you up."

"Thanks," I said trying to keep my tone light and free of my resentment to seeing him.

He started up the car and pulled out of the carpark. I felt his eyes on me and I looked to him.

"You look a little pale," he commented with concern.

"I'm getting a headache," I said closing my eyes and leaning my head back against the headrest.

He was quiet for the rest of the journey and I was glad that I didn't have to listen to another lecture. I get that he cared about me but he had to respect my decision.

Once we arrived at my house I opened the door. The pounding in my head was worsening. Grey walked with me into my house and he watched as I found my migraine medication and filled a glass with some water. Under his watchful gaze I swallowed two of the tablets.

"I'm going to lie down," I told him. He looked like he wanted to say something to me but he seemed to change his mind.

"Sure," he said as he watched me leave the kitchen.

He'd had been acting weird around me. It was like he wanted to say something to me and then at the last minute he would stop himself. There was something up with him but I had no idea what.

My mind couldn't concentrate on anything but what I'd discover when I went to the specialist. Aiden's doctor had called the specialist for me and gave him my initial reports so he could schedule the necessary tests. The sooner I found out what was wrong with me the better.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Me: Thats serious…well i don’t really know, its
been a while i pass through this route.i hope
u don’t have anywhere urgent you are going
to
Mary: where does a jobless lady like me have
to go….am only going home ooo….i should
even be asking u sef, aint you going to work
today?
Me: am not going..i took a day off..i thought
processing of my transcript will take whole of
the day not knowing that it wont even take up
to an hour.
Mary: ohk…that means u came for your
transcript
Me: Yes……..have u collected urs?
Mary: No..i don’t think i need it now since i
know u only need it for your masters or if your
employers in some cases requested for it.
Me: that’s true sha………maybe i can divert a
bit when we get to car wash to while away
time pending when the road will be free then i
can later drop you where it will be convenient
for you or even at home……
Mary: no oooo…dont let me bother you jare
Me: Its my call dear…dont worry…please………
Mary: Ohk…No P
I entered through Taiwo Yemi street, found my
way to Orelope before getting to my
destination at Prince Abiodun Adebambo.
Parked in front of a storey building, opened
the door of the car for her and made my way
through the entrance gate.
My house is a two bedroom flat downstairs at
the back…she followed me from behind as i
opened the door to my flat…….
Me: Welcome to my little bunk………….
Mary: Thank You but this is more than a bunk
Me: It is a bunk based on my own aspiration
in life…
Mary: uhmmmmm…..i love that statement
Me: what can i offer you……………
Mary: Anything will do Sir…………….
Me: anytyn means notyn cos am sure both of
us have not taken anytyn since morning…so
the best thing will be a tangible food
Mary: Ahhh…i don’t eat much like that ooo
Me: uhmmm…no wonder
Mary: No wonder what?
Me: No wonder you have this very beautiful
physique..everything so perfect
Mary: have heard you…ur mouth is too sweet
jhoor
Me:Not really jhoor…hope u wont mind chips,
atleast that wouldn’t be too heavy for you
Mary: No P…
Me: but you can still manage this drink (malt)
while i prepare the chips
Mary: Ohk…
I dashed down to the kitchen with the raw
chips from the fridge..set the frying pan and
started work immediately…barely 10mins in
the kitchen i heard a voice
Mary: your phone has been ringing since…….
Me: ohhh…thank you
“Me on Phone while using the other hand to
continue frying the chips”
Me: hello baby….hw are you
Baby: am good dear….hw has your day been?
How far with where you went to?
“Mary collected spoon from me with the
manner that i should concentrate on my call
while she help me with the cooking pending
when am through with the call”
I stepped back a bit, stood at the entrance of
the kitchen while i continue with my call.
Me: fine baby..it wasn’t even that stressful at
all…(explained my movement)..am at home
now sha..preparing what to eat and relaxing…
how about you? How is work going?
Baby: fine dear….i just say i should check on
u..we will talk later baby
Me: Ohk dear…i love you so much baby
Baby: i love you too dear…..

To Be Continued…



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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AUTHORS NOTE:This part is full of sex scene and if you are not in for such,you are advised to kindly close this page.




I was dumbfounded. This is not what I
expected. How do you reply to that ? I
thought carefully of what to say. Finally
after a moment, I responded.
“Beth, I have always loved you, I just
never thought of being in love with you.”
I looked at her face for any sign that I
might have said the right or wrong thing.
She looked down at her shoes, biting her
lower lip. She looked like perhaps she was
sorry that she had told me. She looked up,
took a deep breathe and continued.
“ I have thought of nothing else but what
has happened since that night. I have felt
just about every feeling I think could be
felt. I was anxious, regretful, excited and
guilty all at the same time. I guess I was
foolish to think I could replace Susan. I
am sorry Jeff, lets just put this behind us
and go back to the way things were.”
“Beth, no one can ever replace Susan. I
would not want you to try. I have felt all
the emotions you have described as well. I
was afraid that things would never be the
same between us. I never imagined that you
would feel that strongly about me.”
“ What do you want to do Jeff ?”, Beth
asked.
I could see she was struggling emotionally,
her eyes began to fill with tears. Her
whole body had begin to slump, her
shoulders sagging. I had a knot in my
throat, I was trying to think of what to
say. I said the first thing I could think
of.
“What about Lance ?”, I asked.
She sat up startled. Her eyes looked deep
into mine. Her gaze was riveting.
“ Lance has never been much of a husband.
But what’s more important is, he has never
been a lover nor my friend. Lance cares
about Lance. Period. I have always just
tolerated it. If the biggest concern in
your mind is for Lance, I have made a huge
mistake.”
“No Beth”, I quickly replied. “ I just
didn’t know what else to say.”
I thought carefully for a moment, then I
decided to lay everything on the line.
“Beth, I will be honest. Until those words
came from your lips, I never thought of
being in love with you. I guess the fact
that you’re married and all the family
problems that would arise, I never
considered the possibility of that
happening.”
“But”, I continued, “No matter where this
goes, I have to tell you this.
If this goes any farther and I fall in love
with you, there is no backing out. I just
can not imagine losing two women in my
life. So maybe you should think of that and
get back to me. If we fall in love, we have
to be together. You will have to leave
Lance, we will have to deal with our
family.”
She put her head down and thought for a few
moments, then looked up at me.
“ I totally agree Jeff.” , she said very
firmly.
She stood up and walked over to me. I got
out of my chair and stood up. She wrapped
her arms around me and put her face in my
chest. My arms wrapped around her and in a
flash, I felt whole again. She lifted her
lips to mine and we kissed. It was a kiss
that told me she was being truthful. When
she pulled away from me, she took both of
my hands in hers. Her hands were so soft,
so delicate.
“Come with me Jeff. I want you to make love
to me. I want to be appreciated as a woman.
I finally want to have sex with a man who
cares how I feel.”
She took my hand and we walked to the back
of my house to the master bedroom. I
hesitated as I walked in the room for just
a second. The last woman I had slept with
in this bed was Susan. It felt strange, but
somehow, it felt right.
We fell into bed locked in each other’s
arms. There was no urgency, no rush. I
wanted to do this right. We kissed over and
over, breaking only long enough to look at
each other. No words were used, none were
needed. My hand went down to the back of
her thigh. I gently but slowly slid it up
until my hand felt her panties. I rolled my
hand around her thigh to the inside. My
fingers pushed aside the soft fabric and
found her very wet pussy. It seemed to feel
even better then it did the first time. I
extended one finger and began to rotate her
clit softly, sliding it in her pussy,
pulling out her juice and rubbing it on her
clit. Her hand moved down and started to
rub my cock through my pants. I felt so at
ease, so relaxed. I could sense the need in
her body growing by the way she was
squirming beneath me.
I sat up and looked down at her. She was
beautiful. I lowered myself down her body.
My hands slid her skirt up until it was
around her hips. I gently pulled her
panties off, then tossed them aside. They
were soaked with her juices. Slowly inch by
inch, my face moved to her pussy.
“Oh God, Jeff. I have only had this a few
times in my life. Its been years since I
have a tongue deep inside me.”
It’s ok.”, I told her, “Just lay back and
enjoy it.”
I looked at her pussy. Her lips were
already puffy, her clit peeking out. Her
juices were running out of her and down to
the sheets. My tongue touched her gently.
She arched her back in response pressing
her pussy against my mouth. I slowly pushed
my tongue deep into her pussy. I could tell
from her reaction she was appreciative.
“Oh fuck.”, she cried, “Please don’t stop.”
I had no intentions of stopping. I reached
up with one hand, took two fingers and
spread her lips apart exposing her clit. I
took the tip of my tongue and began quickly
circling it. After a dozen or so times, I
pushed down and sucked her entire clit into
my mouth, gently sucking on it. Her pussy
was sweet, her juices were thick but
delicious. After a few circles around her
ever growing clit, I would extend my tongue
and push it as deep into her pussy as I
could. Her hands wrapped around the back of
my head and her fingers moved thru my hair.
My reached under her and lifted her ass off
of the bed and deeper into my mouth.
“I’m gonna cum, baby. Now…now…now…”, Beth
whispered.
I released her clit from my lips and used
my tongue rapidly across her swollen clit.
Suddenly, a spray erupted from her pussy
coating my mouth and face. I opened my
mouth and began to drink.
“I’m cumming.” she squealed, “Oh my God, am
I cumming !”
Stream after stream of liquid hit the back
of my throat. I was having a hard time
swallowing it all. It was running out of
mouth and coating her ass. Finally, after
what was the longest orgasm I have ever
seen a woman have, she relaxed her body
just a bit.
“Oh my God Jeff, did I just squirt ?”, she
asked unbelievably, “That has never
happened before. I didn’t know I could do
that.”
I lowered my mouth back on her. I started
licking up and down her lips, cleaning up
all the juices. My tongue pushed between
her ass cheeks, licking up all of her cum.
“ Yes, baby, I love it. Please make me cum
again.”, she begged .
I started in on her again. I wanted her to
cum in my mouth again. This time, I wasn’t
slow. My tongue flew over her clit as my
fingers spread her lips. Her hips were off
the bed pressing into my face. With no
warning, again I sucked her clit between my
lips. For the second time, Beth exploded in
ecstasy.
“ Fuck, I am cumming again, suck it baby,
suck that clit.”
Again her cum flowed against my lips. Not
as much as the first time, but from her
reaction, the feelings were just as
intense. I continued to suck her clit until
her body fell back to the bed. Then gently
I released her and began to gently kiss her
clit.
“Oh my fucking God, Jeff. That was
incredible baby. I have never cum like that
in my life. I cannot believe I have been
missing that. “
I moved up her body and pressed my lips to
hers. She instantly put her tongue in my
mouth and began to taste her cum. She
kissed me for a long time, then rolled me
over.
“Now, I want you inside me.” she whispered
softly.
She moved her hands down and unbuttoned my
pants. She slowly lowered the zipper down.
I helped her ease my pants off. She pulled
down my shorts and released my rock hard,
swollen cock. She wrapped her hand around
my cock and started to stroke it. Slowly at
first, then increasing in speed. She moved
her face down to her hand. As she lowered
her hand to the base of my cock, she
wrapped her lips around the head. I felt a
shiver run down my spine and I apparently
shuddered noticeably.
“Its ok, Jeff. Let it go baby.”, she said
softly.
I cannot describe how her mouth felt on my
cock. Every nerve in my body was on fire.
My heart was racing, my stomach felt like I
was in a dropping elevator. Her lips
tightened around my cock as she began a
sucking motion. Her hand began to move up
and down on my cock in rhythm to her mouth.
I knew I wasn’t going to last too long at
this rate. I raised my head to look down at
her. Her long hair had spilled all over my
body. I couldn’t see her face. Her left
hand had moved down her body and she was
frantically stroking her clit. Her hips
were bucking against her fingers. I knew if
I was going to fuck her, it had to be now,
before she made me cum.
“Let me fuck you, Beth. Let me inside you
now.” , I asked.
“No, not yet.” she replied, “Soon.”
She once again took me deep into her warm
mouth and began sucking. My orgasm was
close, very close.
“Beth, I am not gonna last much longer.”, I
pleaded.
Then with no warning, she placed her tongue
on the most sensitive area on my cock,
right below the head. She began to roll her
tongue in circles rapidly all the while
maintaining that wonderful suction on my
cock. I couldn’t hold off any longer, I
warned her. My hand tapped her on the
shoulder. I wanted to give her the chance
to pull my cock from her mouth before I let
go.
“ Beth, I am gonna cum baby, now…….
She gently shook her head, like a no…then
just a “mmmmmmmm”
came from her throat. Without warning it
came, wave after wave of sensation,
followed by the first spurt of hot cum. She
sucked deeply again and was ready for the
second. Again another wave erupted. She
raised her head off my cock and began
pumping me with her hand. Stream after
stream of cum flew into the air. I looked
down and she was staring at my cock as she
jerked me off. Cum was running out of her
mouth landing on my belly. Her hips were
bucking wildly against her fingers which
were still buried deep in her pussy. She
looked up at me and her eyes rolled back.
“Jesussssssssssssss, oh fuck yea, fuck
yea”, she screamed out. “God dammit this
feels so good.”
For the third time Beth’s body convulsed as
she rode wave after wave of pleasure. This
orgasm was not as powerful as the first two
but seemed to be longer. She moved her
mouth over me and began sucking my cock
again. Her tongue rolled around my cock, as
her hand pumped what was left of my cum
into her mouth. I felt my cock begin to
soften, but Beth refused to release me from
her sweet lips. Her mouth continued on me,
softly, in an almost delicate manner. Her
hand reached up to mine and our fingers
entwined. Her hand was covered in both of
our orgasms. I squeezed it tightly. She
removed her mouth from my cock and looked
up at me.
I knew now, somehow, both of our lives
would never be the same.



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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think positive [Read it]


STOP ACTING LIKE A VICTIM You
remember that joke where Obama And
Michelle went to an old bar and Michelle
said, I used to date the bar man. Obama
retorted: So you could have end up as
the wife of a bar man. Michelle replied:
Nope, he would have been president. I
think a lot of people think like a victim,
very negatively, without many of them
knowing it. When a car accident
happens and you happened to miss that
car, most people say “Wow! I missed
the car, maybe I could have died too”
But then, do you ever think, that if you
had been in the car, the accident
wouldn’t have happened and all the
people in the car would have reached
their destination safely. So instead of
thinking that you got saved from things
that got worse, maybe we can think
that if we were there, things would not
be that worse. Maybe we can start
acting like that too.



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Question of the day?

A girl sends her boyfriend who lives in another town a letter which read "I am sorry but i'm in love with a young,cute, adorable, intelligent and handsome guy. So i want us to end our relationship since I no longer love u. Please send my picture back to me. 2 DAYS LATER, The guy sent her an envelope containing 50 different pictures and a letter which read "PlS am sorry but i have forgotten your face so please select ur picture and send the rest back to me".
Now This is my Question: WHICH OF THEM BROKE THErnOTHERS HEART THE MOST?.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-30 18:50:48

1417 Views




A policeman, Akpos, stops a motorist
and asks for his driving license. The Motorist scuffles around in his purse
and can't find it. He says to the Akpos, "I
must have left it at home officer." Akpos says, "Well, do you have any kind
of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in his
purse again, and finds a pocket mirror. He looks at it and says to Akpos, "All I
have is this picture of myself." Akpos says, "Let me see it, then." So the motorist gives the mirror to
Akpos, who looks at it, and replies,
"Well, if I had known you were a police
officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you
over. You can go now."
#BOLLY_SMART™®


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-05 23:08:06

304 Views



Barman [Read it]


Hacklord went to a bar to relax his nerves this sunny
afternoon. While at the bar Hacklord shouted and said to
the
barman; "Give me a bottle of small stout and give
everybody here 2 bottles of big stout let
them enjoy because when I drink stout, everybody drinks
stout."
.
The barman obeyed people in the bar started hailing
Hacklord while sipping on their free drinks.
.
Hacklord ordered again "Barman! Give me a bottle of
small
stout and give everybody here 2 bottles of big stout let
them enjoy because when I drink stout, everybody drinks
stout".
.
Everybody cheered and hailed Hacklord louder.
.
After some minutes again Hacklord said "barman give me
a
plate of fish pepper soup and give everybody here too
plates of fish pepper soup each, let them eat while I eat".
.
They were so happy and heaped praises on Hacklord
while
they ate and drank.
.
About an hour later, Hacklord beckoned on the Barman
and
said to him, "Bring me my bill and also give everybody
here their bill too because when I pay my bill, everybody
will pay their bills too!"
.
Now Hacklord is the hospital with broken bones.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-07-20 10:12:44

604 Views




God is not a cosmic bell-boy for whom we can press a button to get things done.

~ Harry Emerson FosdickRelated

A guy wakes up from a comma

His doctor asks him what he remembers.

– All i remember is getting on an elevator with a gorgeous woman and her husband. She had a beautiful cleavage and i couldn’t stop staring at it. She then looked at me and told me “Can you please press one?”.Related

Wedding Pics [Read it]


Whatz Wrong In This Picture







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-17 23:10:44

457 Views




Mirror is my best friend because when I cry it never laughs.

-Charlie ChaplinRelated

A virgin is someone who has never had sexual intercourse or sexual activity.
Virginity In Yoruba Culture
During the traditional era and before the advent of colonialism, virginity was held at high esteem among the Yoruba people. A lady is expected to get married as a virgin as having sexual intercourse before the wedding ceremony is a taboo. This is the reason why the intending couple are not allowed to have close contact or be in the same room with each other before the D-day: thus, the need for an intermediary (Alarina).

Virginity to them is known as ‘Ibale’ and it is the pride of any Yoruba lady to keep hers till her wedding night.The wedding night is usually seen as a frightened day for the bride and her parents. In those days, mothers were fond of asking their daughters about their virginity so as to prevent the shame and disgrace that come with not been a virgin.
On the wedding night, a white cloth is usually given to the couple and the cloth will be spread on their bedding, mostly mats. The parents of both families sometimes stay at the entrance of the house waiting for the cloth to be brought out of the house while some parents will be in their homes expecting result. In this culture, the white cloth is expected to be stained by blood and after the sexual intercourse, if the cloth is stained, it means that the new bride is a virgin. If it turns out that the white cloth is not stained with blood, it signifies that the new bride had been promiscuous and slept with a man before.

A bride that is met as a virgin by her husband will be celebrated while the one that is not will be disgraced and banished from the village. The white cloth (stained or not) will be sent to the bride’s parents. Other items like rotten yam, half-filled matches or empty box of matches, half keg of palm wine will also be sent to them meaning that their daughter was rotten and not complete before she was married. The parents will be publicly blamed for not training their daughter. Grief, sorrow and loud cries will follow suit. Such bride that will sweep the whole village, dance naked in the market’s place before she finally leaves her village. The groom also has the right to divorce such a woman.
On the other hand, if the newly-wed was met as a virgin, the groom’s family will send a full keg of palm wine, full matches box to the bride’s parents indicating that their daughter was complete before the wedding night. She will be praised publicly and her parents will be happy. It is believed that virgins have self-discipline and are well-trained by their parents.
This custom and virginity has many advantages as it prevent the rate of fornication and helps the married women to be faithful with their husbands. Also, many lives have been lost to the act. Some young ladies have committed suicide because of the shame. Highly respected or elders can also commit suicide if their daughter was found to have lost her virginity before her marriage. This tradition is no longer in practice and has eaten deep by colonilisation.

IBALE(VIRGINITY)....ITS ALL ABOUT A MAIDEN FROM HER VILLAGE TO THE UNIVERSITY, SHE KEEPS HER VIRGINITY THROUGHOUT HER LIFE, BUT WHEN SHE GET TO THE UNIVERSITY SHE HAVE TO FIGHT VERY HARD IN ORDER NOT TO LOSE IT BECAUSE IT'S A LAW AND AN OAT MAKE BY THE ANCESTORS AND MUST NOT MISTAKENLY BE BROKEN BY ANY HOW GUY IF NOT THEIR HUSBAND

WILL THE MAIDEN LOSE HER VIRGINITY?
WHO WILL DISVIRGIN HER?
WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF HER SEAL HIS BROKEN?
WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE GUY WHO BREAK IT?
WHAT'S IS BEHIND THE LAW AND THE OAT?
WHAT CAUSES THE LAW AND THE OAT?

STAY TUNE FOR IBALE(VIRGINITY)







NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Penetrations [Read it]


Teacher Was Telling Her Students:“For The Best
Penetrations 6 – 7 Inch P#n#s Is Best.”One Of The Girl Asked Her:
“Maam, What About 9 Inches?”Teacher Said: “I Am Telling You About Necessity Not Luxury“Related

The loud banging on the door woke the whole house up. The knock was so loud and disturbing, it was frightening but Demilade got up at the sound of the shrill ringing of her phone. Grudgingly, her hand automatically found her phone beside the bed and she looked at it through heavy lids- it was her brother. A worried crease formed her temple as she looked at the time; it was a little after 12, too late for a phone call unless it was urgent.

She pressed the call button but the loud bang on the front door startled her again. She got out of the king sized bed and hurriedly pulled on the robe hanging in its hanger on the wardrobe. The knocking had stopped with the loud opening of the door. Demilade rushed out of her room seeing Tunde downstairs. She was shocked at the sight of him looking wild and disheveled.

“Tunde…”

Her father rushed out of his study downstairs with his reading glasses still on the bridge of his nose.

“Tunde!” He shouted at the sight of his son. “Tunde what is this? What is happening?”

Tunde staggered back a bit, his whole body reeked of alcohol and his fist bloody from slamming it against almost every object he met. Demilade stepped back into the shadows of the corridor upstairs, her heartbeat loudly in her chest and her mouth went dry sensing there was something going on. She watched as Chief Ariyo looked around as if hiding something.

“What are you doing here at this time?” he lowered his voice angrily.

Tunde sat on the cream leather couch raising his eyes to look at his father in contempt. “She cheated dad”

“Who?” his father asked confused “What is this entire ruckus about?”

“The wife you gave me, dad”, he spat out the words in anger. He looked down at his bloodied hands. “Priscilla cheated.”

Demilade swallowed the information with difficulty, watching her father.

He swayed and pressed his hands on the bridge of his nose placing the glasses on the centre table

“Your mother is asleep thanks to sleeping pills and your sister’s room is right above this place. They can’t wake up to find you here.”

He looked up at the man standing before him again, he had regained a bit of composure though his body ached violently. “So”, he replied with difficulty in swallowing. “What are you suggesting I do?”

“I think you should go back and settle this amicably with your wife.”

Silence reigned between them with only the sound of an owl piercing through the quiet. Finally, Tunde got up and spoke “I’m afraid I won’t do that dad because I’m done, I can’t live with a cheating wife.”

“Well you would have to!” Tayo replied cautiously, he scratched his grey head still in shock of his son’s revelation. “You know why you can’t end things now. It would be a matter of time before Sola starts threatening me again.”

“So this is more about you than me?” Tunde moved back wincing a bit “I am not going back to that hell-hole, I am not going to cover up your mistake anymore.”

Tayo said nothing at first; letting his words sink deeply into him. “So what do you want to do because this is bigger than the both of us and you know it. There is a child involved now.”

“A child whom may not be mine?” his voice rose to that “It’s time everyone knows what’s really going on”, Tunde stalled a bit. “I can’t do it anymore; I won’t live my whole life trying to cover up for you.”

“Don’t be stupid, Tunde!” his father exclaimed angrily. “How do you think your mother would feel if she gets to know what this is about? If you try to divorce Priscilla she would come at you with everything, and with the way things are going, our company would be split into almost half.”

“Not when I can accuse her of adultery and question the paternity of the child in court”, he let out a ragged breath. “Sooner or later, Sola would come out with the truth about your affair with her when her husband was alive- after all that’s what led to everything” , he sat down again. “She’s not the kind of woman to want to go down alone.”

“You have to go back Tunde, at least for now”, Tayo’s tone was desperate with his eyebrows furrowed together.

Tunde said nothing and got up from the chair again, he staggered a bit and winced walking towards the guest bedroom.

“Where are you going?” his father asked

“To the guest bedroom” he called back without turning around

“Tunde”, Tayo walked up to him in growing fear. “You have to think carefully about everything, I know I have asked for too much already but…”

“Not this time, dad”, Tunde replied flatly opening the door of the bedroom. He walked into the darkness like a drug man and slapped the door behind him.

Tayo stood for a while looking lost and defeated, he let out a loud audible breath and looked back at the cream colored door beside him with that he moved back to the study brooding on what to do next.

She stood back in the shadows, her fist was in her mouth as she fought to hold back loud sobs, her eyes were pregnant with tears even when Demilade kept on hearing those words echo in her head. She slid down the wall and crouched on her feet weeping silently.

***

Tunde woke up with a fierce headache; it seemed to penetrate right at him. He opened his heavy eyelids a little, his vision was cloudy but he saw the yellow walls and the chocolate painted wardrobe. His hands splayed on the soft mattress, the fan was on. He did not remember turning it on the night before but then he wasn’t in his bedroom, he wasn’t at home, where was he? His eyes opened more and it took effort to clear his grinding head, he was in his parents’ house.

His mother sat at the edge of the bed with a glass of water in one hand and a glass of water in the other. She offered it to him stretching out her slim hands and he took them mumbling a thank you in return.

Silence reigned in the room while Tunde adjusted to rest his back on the bed slab. He didn’t want to think about yesterday, the fight he had with Priscilla or the way she had begged and pleaded, he didn’t want to think about how he felt betrayed and sore…heartbroken…

“Tunde”, his mother called his name in a gentle tone.

He did not realize he had closed his eyes but he slowly opened them to look at her, she placed her hand on his and squeezed gently.

“How are you feeling?”

“My head feels sore.”

“You know what I mean”, she looked at him and smiled a bit. “Your father told me what happened.”

Tunde looked down at his mother’s hand on his, reluctant to speak.

“I understand if you don’t want to talk about it now.”

“Thank you.”

“I just want you to know that we support whatever you decision you take”, she pulled her comforting hand away and let out a rugged breath.

“Did dad tell you that?” Tunde asked skeptical “Did he say that he supports whatever decision I make?”

“I’m sure your father wants the best for you”, Mrs Ariyo replied smiling lightly.

“He wants what’s best for his company,” Tunde stated in a bitter tone.

“Honestly, I don’t know much about what’s been going on with the company but I knew it was a bad move getting into an arranged marriage over business. Marriage is a different matter altogether.”

He made no comment on that. “Mum, I just want to relax now and make a decision on my turf. I don’t want to make a decision with someone’s voice telling me what to do.”

“Yes dear and we support your decision whatever the case is.”

“And if it is to get back with her…”

“You know I never get involved in my children’s personal lives, you are old enough to decide on what you feel is best”, she gave him a broad smile “I trust you to make the right decision after all I trained my children well.”

“What if it causes a lot of things to go wrong?” Tunde asked his mother searching her eyes for an answer.

His mother gave him a puzzled look in return, “What do you mean, Tunde?” she asked confused “What could possibly go wrong?”

He forced himself to smile “Never mind mum.” He touched her arm. “Thank you for the pills.” Tunde laid back on the bed.

His mother stood up. “Just feel free to stay as long as you like.” With that, she walked out of the room, leaving him to his thoughts.

His eyes found the wall clock; it was past one in the afternoon. Was she waiting for him? Hoping she could convince him to forgive her or did she just give up on everything? Give up on the nights of passion and the sweet words he whispered in her pretty ears, did she even like it when he touched her or she pretended?

Tunde closed his eyes and sighed heavily trying to control his emotions. Could he ever forgive her? Could he even trust her again after everything? He knew the answer. Even if the incident had not happened something else would have brought them back to reality but he loved her, he still loved her beneath all the anger and resentment he was feeling, he missed her so much – it hurt.

***

She pulled up in front of the gate of her mother’s compound and parked. Priscilla let out a deep breath. Her eyes met her withdrawn expression in the mirror. She looked like a ghost. Overnight she grew into a zombie as she packed her things into a suitcase; she wanted to get out of the house, suddenly claustrophobic. Her hair was a mess, she did not bother combing through the short length, her eyes were red and her face drawn; she looked a mess.

As she was parked seated in the loneliness of her car, Priscilla cleaned her tear-stained cheeks. She did not want to get out, it was not even about her mother’s disapproval but that she was fed up and it took her husband to find out about her affair before she finally broke free of her mother’s hold. Priscilla sniffed rubbing her nose with the back of her hand.

She opened the car door with more force than necessary and got out of the car, it took her a longer time to lock the door. Finally, she dragged herself into the compound and knocked on the iron security door of her mother’s house.

The sun peered at her even through the sunglasses she wore, Priscilla knocked again with more determination and her mother opened the door with irritation plastered on her face.

“Priscilla” Sola spoke in surprise; she shifted for her to enter the house and closed the door after her.

Priscilla removed the glasses from her face and turned around to face her mother whose shock had tripled at the look of her daughter.

“What happened?” she almost whispered the question as she moved to hold Priscilla.

Priscilla moved back “Don’t.” Tears formed again in her eyes. “Please don’t”, her tone was weak.

“Priscilla” Sola spoke confused “I don’t understand what this is about.”

“Why didn’t you say you had an affair with Tunde’s father?” her tone was full of resentment for the older woman standing in front of her.

Her mother moved back surprised by the question, she held a nearby chair feeling suddenly weak “Where did you get that?”

“I asked you a question mum” Priscilla replied shakily, she slowly began to heave with her anger brewing again.

“Priscilla…”

“Tell me why!” she screamed at her mother who stared at her in horror.

“Yes, yes” Sola replied hastily, she regained her balance “Yes, I had an affair with him!” she completed defensively.

“God” Priscilla looked away from her in disgust, she burst into tears in disbelief and disappointment; she hoped she would hear that it was not true she had even prayed to hear it was a lie at least to seek solace with her mother.

“Priscilla…”

She raised a quieting hand up “Don’t.” It took her a minute more to catch her breath. “I am so disappointed in you, I am disgusted and embarrassed. For Christ sake you are both married!” she said in a hopeless tone “You kept this from me and asked me to marry his son!” Her voice rose at that.

“Are you judging me?” Sola asked defensively “You have no clue of anything and you are one to judge!”, she laughed derisively.

“I am sick of this, I am sick of you and everything!” Priscilla replied shakily. “In one night I lost my marriage and I found out my mother had an affair with my father-in-law!” Tears began to rake through her body again. She shuddered.

Her mother scoffed “You think I’m such a bad person?” she asked in abrasion, “I sicken you?” Sola laughed, it sounded ugly. “Who put you in a home and fed you? Who gave you the car you drive and the money in your account? You think it was Santa Claus or your weak father? If I sicken you so much, you shouldn’t have agreed to get married in the first place!”

She flinched at what her mother said, she felt sickened by the words as every letter stung deeply at her heart.

“You went too far sleeping with your husband’s best friend” she replied in anger “You ….”

“You think your father was a saint? You think he never cheated the ever faithful husband?” Sola gestured at the sarcasm “I put up with his philandering, I put up with the shame he brought home, I put up with the smell of other women hung on him as we slept on our matrimonial bed.” Her voice was raised in bitterness. “You think your father was a saint? Here we are! I put you in that house and gave you that car, I saved you the stress of getting back to poverty where you came from!” she spat at Priscilla, her eyes were filled with disgust and hate

Priscilla stumbled back at her mother’s words “The poverty I came from?” she echoed in confusion “What is the meaning of that?”

“Ask your saint of a father when you get to hell!” she hissed and began to pace. “I fed you and gave you everything, yet you come here judging me, me!” her voice was shrill and laden with deep buried anger.

Her breathing became difficult and her eyes were becoming full with tears “What is that supposed to mean, mum?” Priscilla asked in a small voice “What do you mean by that?”

Sola stopped pacing and looked at her “The next time you come here barging in and demanding for answers, you will hate what I would become.” Her tone was as monstrous as her gaze was.

Priscilla looked at the woman who had transformed into a stranger before her. Fragile tears fell from her aching eyelids, she was shaking her head wanting to remove the words her mother just spoke, what was she trying to say? That she was a product of one of her father’s numerous affairs. It could not be true, not her, never. She kept sobbing. She could not stop.

“What are you trying to say?” she screamed at the woman she knew as her mother.

Sola heaved out a sigh; she made no move to comfort Priscilla. Instead, she stood there watching as the girl cried; her jaw was set; set on forgiveness. Her eyes blazed with resentment and bitterness enough she did not have to speak. Finally she spoke “You had better get back with Tunde” her tone was cold and impersonal.

Priscilla wiped her face with the back of her hand “I won’t!” She replied insolently “I am done, I am tired of this. I do not want you telling me anything anymore! I have done everything you have asked from, whatever happens next we will learn to live with it!”

“Not while I am alive!” Sola exclaimed walking to her “You will do as I say, you will get back to your husband and you will patch up that marriage”, she spoke shakily in contempt “You think I brought you here for the show? You think this is one of those B-rated romance movies you watch? This is reality and if you so much as think of giving that man a divorce, you are done!”

“Then let me be done!” she screamed at the woman she knew as her mother with shock of contempt. Her body raked in tears and her eyes let it fall by default, she was emotionally drained but she was done with the woman standing in front of her. “I don’t care if I have to beg under a bridge but I am not going back to deceiving and living in a lonely world because you want to maintain a fake lifestyle!”

“Priscilla you are testing my patience very badly. You are really unwise”, she replied through gritted teeth “Do you know what it means to be a single mother? Do you want to carry such a responsibility because of your stubbornness?”

Priscilla shook her head; she let out a frustrated laugh in tears “I am done with everything, if I get back with Tunde it would be at my own terms without you telling me what to do!”

Sola searched her eyes in anger “I am sorry for you this girl, you think this is about me?”

“It is always about you!” Priscilla threw her hands in the air “It has never been Priscilla’s happiness, always about you!” she stopped to rub her temple in resignation; “You blackmailed them didn’t you? To marry me, I kept thinking, thinking of it all morning and I know you are not above it.”

“It’s what gave you all this” Sola replied in a chilling voice. ” I put you for your own good”

Priscilla shook her head sideways at the statement “No, I won’t believe this reason you are giving. God, I can’t believe this” she raked a hand through her hair “You slept with him and blackmailed him and yet you had the effrontery to marry me off to his son to keep your life style?”

The slap stung across her cheek and the house fell silent, she could almost hear her heart beating loudly in the sitting room. Priscilla gave her a rueful smile, she had nothing else to say and she turned around and walked to the entrance door placing her hand on the door handle.

“Priscilla if you walk out of here now that’s it, I won’t forgive you.”

She stopped and looked at the mother whom she had once respected. She could not even find her voice, only pity for herself and more for her mother who had grown so bitter over the years. Priscilla walked out of the house with a soft click of the door shutting behind her.

>>

There was a three days camp for Junior Secondary School students in the church and the programme went well......Now comes the last day. ( a picture of a boy playing harmfuly and thier cordinator caught him readhanded)...................then the following conservation came up.
Sis tope: hey you wat do u tink ur doin! Playing!! dnt u tink u cn harm ur self with what you are doing.
The boy: (silence)
Sis tope: why looking cnt u talk......Can u evn tel me the THEME for dis year camping.
The boy answered and said ''a ti mu tea laaro yi'' (meaning we have drank tea dis moring)


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-25 21:04:06

291 Views




Between 64% and 84% of Hong Kong’s citizens do not believe in a religion.Related

Job trial [Read it]


A beer company was hiring a
taster, someone to taste the
beers before selling out.
So they placed adverts and
one afternoon, a dirty,
rough looking man walked
into the manager's office
asking to be employed.
The manager tried to figure
out how he could
drive this man away but
couldn't come up with an
idea, so he decided to give
the man a trial. He ordered
his secretary to give the man
a glass of wine.
He took a sip and said "Its red
wine, a muscat, three years
old, grown on a north
slope, matured in steel
containers."
That's correct! The manager
exclaimed, well give him
another one lets see. So he
was given. He took a
sip again and said "It's red
wine, cabernet, eight
years old, southwestern
slope, oak barrels."
Incredible! said the manager.
Now the manager went
closer to the secretary and
whispered to her saying "go
get some of your urine in a
cup let's see if he will get
that".
So the man was given the
cup of urine. He took a sip,
turned to the manager and
said "Female urine, 26 years
old, 2 weeks pregnant and if
I'm not given this job, sir, I
will tell your wife who is
responsible for the
pregnancy".


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-06 08:31:15

1096 Views



too soon [Read it]


A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and
some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24
hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news,
then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to
call
you yesterday."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-15 21:52:04

329 Views




This
is the awkward Truth About some husbands.
A group of men gathered at a church
conference on how to live in a loving
relationship with their wives. The men were
asked, "How many of you love your wife ?" All
the men raised their hands. Then they were
asked, "When was the last time you told your
wife you love her ?" Some men answered
today, some yesterday, majority didn’t
remember. The men were then told to take
their cell phones and send the following text
to their respective wives: I love you,
sweetheart...
Then the men were told to exchange their
phones so one can read the other wife's reply
to the love message.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Have you impregnated someone again
2. That was then, not now
3. You wan borrow money abi?
4. What did you do again? I won’t forgive you
this time.
5. Meaning?
6. Is that a new song?
7. Am I dreaming?
8. If you don’t tell me who this message is
actually for, you will die today!
9. U dis man!! I asked you to stop drinking.
10. Abeg na who be this?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-01 14:37:59

501 Views




American Daughter: Mum, I wanna go see Jenny my course mate.

American Mum: Alright sugar, don't forget to call me if you gonna sleep over there. (Kisses daughter on her forehead).

Nigerian Daughter: Mummy, i, i, i, i,...

Nigerian Mum: You what? When did you become a stammerer?

Nigerian Daughter: I, i want to go and see my class mate, Onome.

Nigerian
Mum: Who is Onome? What is her surname? Where does she live? Is she
staying with her parents? What does she do? Where is her village?
Haven't you heard of Ebola, kidnapping and bombing? Why can't you stay
in your own house? How many times do you see Onome or whatever her name
is, coming to visit you ehn? Or don't you have any shame?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-14 08:50:48

591 Views




Usne Baja Diya Mera Music Bina Dhol Ke,



Dil Tod Diya Usne I Hate You Bole Ke,



Ek Roz Ja Rahi Thi Wo Mujhe Bye Bole Ke,



To Maine Bhi Dikha Diya Apni Chain Khol Ke.Related

Which do you wanna be? Ladies which do you prefer?
TYPES OF HUSBANDS
1: BACHELOR HUSBAND:
Does things on his own without consulting
wife. Hangs out a lot with friends
more than wife. Not serious
about marriage life.
2: ACIDIC HUSBAND:
Is always boiling like acid and
always angry, violent, moody,
dominating and very dangerous.
3: SLAVE HUSBAND:
Want to be treated like King and treat Wife
like a Slave. Likes wife to
perform old traditional respect
and hates being called by their
first name.
4: GENERAL HUSBAND:
Husband for every woman. loves
and cares for girlfriends more
than his wife. Likes giving money
to girlfriends and have more female friends.
5: DRY HUSBAND:
Very moody and stingy and
don't consider wife's emotions
and the relationship enjoyable.
Have no sense of humour.
6: PANADOL HUSBAND:
Uses wife as problem solver, only loves wife
when needing something from
her. Is clever and knows wife's
weaknesses and capitalize on
that and gets relief from wife.
7: PARASITE HUSBAND:
Lazy and only loves wife for the sake of
money. Use wife's money on girlfriends. Not
initiative and does not help wife with house
responsibilities.
8: BABY HUSBAND:
Irresponsible,childish and
can't make decisions on his own
without asking his Mother or
relatives; compares Wife to
relatives and runs to them always if
something goes wrong.
9: VISITING HUSBAND:
Not always at home come as a visitor
Provides family all material things but have no time
for them.
10: CARING HUSBAND:
Caring and loving.Provides material and
emotional needs and makes out time
for family. Guides home spiritually.
Very responsible and treats wife
as partner and helper.
Ladies, what kind of husband are you having or would
want to Have?
Guys,what kind of husband are you or would want to Be?
Just Ask God,it will and shall be done in Jesus Name.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-16 07:12:54

317 Views



Dog Nd Puppy [Read it]


Mother: You Are Not Human But A Dog..A Big One!
Father: But How Come Wen The Dog Said I Love U, U Said Me Too..Dog Marry Dog
Child: ...Meaning Dat Am A Puppy..Eish...Very Bad


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-15 13:39:32

387 Views



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