Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


One person with a belief is equal to a force of 99 who have only interests.

-John Stuart MillRelated

The migraine I suffered that night delayed my confrontation with my family over my decision to delay my surgery but the next morning there was no more hiding from them. I was even debating if it was a good idea to tell them about the DNR form I'd signed. Letting out a sigh I wondered if it was better for them to find out now or run the chance that they would find out after my surgery. Either way it wasn't going to be easy for them to understand my decision. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind, deciding that it wasn't a good idea today. It would be hard enough for me to try to explain to the people that loved me why I needed more time.

For a few minutes I stared unseeing at my ceiling. I hadn't heard from Grey since he'd dropped me off after the doctor's appointment. He was angry with me. I wasn't sure if he was going to get over it or be able to work through it. Did this mean we were done? The ache in my chest spread at that thought. If he couldn't forgive me I wouldn't have to let him go.

I looked at my clock beside my bed. It was ten in the morning. I sat up. Trying to build up the courage to face my family wasn't easy but after a few minutes I dragged myself out of the bed. I had a shower and got dressed.

The house was quiet when I descended the stairs. My family was in the kitchen sitting around the table drinking their coffee in silence. At the sound of my entrance all sets of eyes settled on me. They were all tight lipped. The person that looked the angriest was my brother. My mom looked more resigned and my father pressed his lips together as I walked to the cupboard and got a cup out to get myself a cup of coffee.

I made my coffee before I turned my attention to my family. I took a sip of hot liquid as my brother pushed away his coffee.

"You can't delay the surgery," he said in a firm voice like he was talking to a child. I felt annoyed that he was treating me like I couldn't make my own decision. I held his gaze not about to let him walk all over me like a doormat. This was my life and I got to decide how I lived it.

"We love you," my father said. He looked sad and I felt guilty that I was the cause of it.

"I love you too," I said softly. This wasn't about that. I loved them more than anything.

A strained silence set over us.

"Look I know you don't agree with my-"

"How on earth do you expect us to agree with your crazy idea to delaying a surgery that could save your life!" my brother yelled at me, standing up.

His outburst took me by surprise. I set my cup down I the counter as my hands began to shake slightly.

"Stop," my mom told him but he continued to glare at me.

"Shouting at her isn't going to help," my father added.

My brother crossed his arms. The slight twitch of his jaw signaled he was struggling with his anger.

"We need to sit down and discuss this," my father said making me frown.

This wasn't up for discussion. It wasn't like we all sat down and decided what to do. This was my life and ultimately my decision. I was actually surprised that they hadn't gotten Grey to join in. It would be another vote against waiting to have the surgery.

"Sit down," my father, instructed Alex. My brother looked at him for a moment and my father gave him that look that told him not to argue with him. Reluctantly he sat down again.

"Come have a seat," my father instructed me and I felt my stubbornness set in.

"No," I said, shaking my head. My father frowned.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Nigeria girls [Read it]


Imagine







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-19 08:45:53

1266 Views




The only way to stop people from wearing sunglasses inside mall is by holding their hand and say,

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

“Bahiya Kidhar Jaoge? Aao Main Chhod Deta Hun!”Related

Darling: hey;why did you asked me to visit you this early
Vivian: i have something important to tell you
Darling: something like what?
Vivian: i saw your former car with a lady
Darling: i am sure is not my car because my husband told me that his mechanic damage my car
Vivian: are you sure;he is telling the truth? what if he just made that story
Darling: i trust my husband and i know he will never lie to me
Vivian: i am just saying because i saw him come out from a hotel with a lady
Darling: my husband is not like that and he cant do that to me
Vivian: alright oh!should in case some thing like this come up
Darling: nothing like that will come up
Vivian: just maybe you should asked your husband or go to the hotel and see for yourself(she write the name of the hotel)just have it
Darling: i don't want to because i know my husband(she put the paper inside her bag)what are you doing?
Vivian: you may need it
Jose: good afternoon ma
Darling: morning;how are you?
Vivian: Jose;its still morning not yet afternoon
Jose: okay ma;where is my daddy?
Darling: your daddy?
Jose: i mean my uncle
Vivian: he went out
Jose: why?he told me,'we will go see a movie today'
Vivian: pardon him;just go in and relax
Jose: alright(as he walked away Darling looked at him)
Vivian: why are you staring at the boy?
Darling: are you sure this boy isn't your husband's son?the way he talk and walk are same like your husband
Vivian: he is not my husband's son. is his sister's son
Darling: sister's son indeed
Vivian: what are you driving out?do you want to tell me;my husband as been cheating on me for six years now?my husband is not like that he is a christian.
Darling: he is human and he is capable of making mistake
Vivian: Darling;just shut up if you have nothing to say
Darling: Vivian;open your eyes and see that....
Vivian: get out of my house
Darling: why are you so mad at me?you just told me that you saw my husband with a lady and my car,i didn't get mad at you and here i am telling you...
Vivian: oh!because i told you that and you want to paint my husband bad. now i know the kind of person you are;get out(she pushed her)leave
Darling: you are asking me out of your house
Vivian: i said get out
Darling: it is a enough,i will leave but you will regret this(exit Darling)
Vivian: go;there is nothing to regret there. please everyone should mind there business(curtain)

Jude: Maid
Maid: sir;
Jude: i am going out;make sure you keep an eye on my wife;so she doesn't go out
Maid: alright sir(exit Jude)everything i will do in this house. i am sure very soon this stupid man will tell me to stand with her when she is bathing. useless people
Lucas: hey!who are you talking to?
Maid: no one sir
Lucas: alright;where is my son?
Maid: he as gone out
Lucas: alright;go get me fruit from a shop across the road;i want it fresh
Maid: alright sir(exit Maid)
Loveth: good day sir
Lucas: how are you?
Loveth: i am fine sir;are you going out?
Lucas: yes;i just want to see my son,how is he doing?
Loveth: i wish i could go with you
Lucas: don't worry when next i am going i will let you come with me
Loveth: just let me go with you now. please
Lucas: alright(enter Liz)welcome
Liz: thank you dear. where are you going to?
Lucas: i am going to the hospital to see my son(enter Maid with the fruit)
Liz: go well
Maid: sir i am back
Lucas: thank you;Loveth come on
Liz: where is she going to?
Loveth: uh....um....
Liz: can't you talk?
Lucas: she is coming with me because i can't drive and i want her to drive me
Maid: sir;her husband said she shouldn't go anywhere
Lucas: she is going with me and is not like she is going inside with me
Maid: boss;will kill me if he is not here;when he returned
Liz: Loveth;get inside
Loveth: alright ma(exit Loveth)
Maid: thank you ma
Lucas: are you okay?
Liz: yes;i know what you want to do and it will not work. for once be fair to my son;don't make he live like you don't love him
Lucas: if there is anyone that i haven't show love it should be Luke and not Jude;i was always with him. when he take his first step;when he have his first word,all his graduation i was there,every important invent in his life,i was also there and there was just one thing i wasn't there and that was his marriage because he never did plan that.
Liz: i am just saying. excuse me(curtain)



Ruth: dad;please wake up. i missed you;there is no one to play with,no one to tell me good night stories and no one to sleep beside me on my bed(enter Joan)dad;i beg you(she touch Luke)
Joan: baby;stop it. lets go
Ruth: i don't want to go. mom why is dad not talking to me. please talk to him maybe he will answer you
Joan: baby;dad can not answer you now
Ruth: is dad dead
Joan: baby;no he is just conscious of nothing
Ruth: that means dad is dead because my teacher said when someone is dead he is conscious of nothing (enter Lucas/Muriel)
Joan: baby;don't be annoying. come lets go
Lucas: be careful with her
Joan: good day sir
Ruth: grandpa(she hugged him)come talk to dad maybe he will hear you(she and Lucas walked towards Luke)come on grandpa. talk to him
Lucas: son;please open your eyes and talk to me(tears roll his eyes)i am not good at making use of words but i just....(his tears touch Luke)Luke...(Luke convulse)Luke
Muriel: son;what is going on?doctor
Ruth: grandpa;what is happen to my daddy;why is he shaking?(she cried)
Muriel: Joan take her outside and call the doctor. son please wake up
Joan: come on(she take Ruth outside and call Truth to check on him)
Truth: you all should excuse us(they walked away and he check on Luke)


Darling: Vivian;said he saw my husband at a hotel with my old car;could it be true about what she is saying?Darling;stop being annoying;your husband is a party freak but not a womanize(enter Danny)i don't think it is true
Danny: what is not true?
Darling: is nothing;welcome
Danny: okay;i go ahead(he turn to leave)
Darling: Danny;do you have..
Danny: have what?
Darling: are you having an affair with a lady
Danny: what?i can't believe you just asked me that silly question
Darling: i want to know because i can't see any reason why you have to cheat on me. i have been a good wife to...
Danny: shut up and the next you will bring this topic up;i will kill you with my hands.(exit Danny)
Darling: why is he so defensive?i think i will go check on that hotel myself to clear my doubt is not like i believe Vivian(curtain)


Lucas: (she sit and cry)Muriel;that is enough
Muriel: i don't want anything to happen to my son;he is all that i got
Lucas: i am sorry
Muriel: you are not the cause
Lucas: i am;if i haven't cheated on you;there would had been to Jude to hurt our son
Muriel: when you left me the only thing that kept me going was my son. he was my comforter,seeing him alone give me joy. is like God had blessed me in my distress and had send me an helper(tears roll Lucas eyes)you don't have to feel bad for me
Lucas: i haven't really been a good father to him. when he said those words to me;i felt it and he is right. he was different from me,when i gave you pain;he gave you joy and when i cheated on you because i found my first love,he kept his distance when he found his. we really were both different. he cared for all those he love;i wish for just one thing and that one thing is for him to get better so i could asked for his forgiveness because i am a monster(enter Doctor)how is he?
Muriel: how is my son?come on tell me
Truth: relax;nothing will happen to him. although he is still in comma but he will be fine by God's
Lucas: why was he convulsing?
Truth: it is normal for comma patient to experience that sometime that can lead to his recovering but he may not be able to remember who all when he wakes up
Muriel: what?my son is going to have amnesia?
Truth: maybe;i didn't say so
Lucas: alright;is okay
Truth: excuse me(curtain)


Jose: mom(he hugged ANN)do you want to come stay with me and dad
ANN: yes;because i don't know if the woman in this house is taking good care of you
Abraham: what are you doing here with bags?
ANN: i came to stay with my son and his father
Abraham: are you sick?i have a wife
ANN: a wife or a husband?
Vivian: what is going on here?
Abraham: meet my sister
Vivian: your sister?
Abraham: yes
Vivian: how come i don't know this one
ANN: are you suspending i am not his sister
Vivian: what?
ANN: don't bother stressing your brain i will help you out;the true is this young boy here;is his son and i am his mother
Vivian: i don't believe this
ANN: believe it or leave it(she dragged her bag in)
Vivian: hold on;you will not stay in this house;so if you know what is good for you turn around and leave
ANN: stop deceiving yourself because if there is anyone who deserve o here it should be me and no other person
Vivian: Abraham;sent her out
Abraham: Vivian let her stay
Vivian: if she stays then i will leave
Abraham: you don't have to go
Vivian: then take your pick,is either me or them
ANN: will you give up your son for a woman;who can't bear a child?
Abraham: Vivian;please don't let me do this because i can't stay without my son for long anymore. just stay
Vivian: you are impossible. i will leave
ANN: your lost(Vivian pack her luggage to leave)goodbye(exit Vivian)
Abraham: she doesn't have to leave
ANN: just forget about her. come here my son(curtain)


Loveth: welcome dad;how is he?
Lucas: he is there;i was so scared this afternoon;i thought i have lost him but is like God is still smiling at me
Loveth: how is he now?(tears roll her eyes)
Lucas: the doctor said he may have a amnesia when he waked up but he is still in comma
Loveth: i wish i didn't go with him. he would had still be with his family
Lucas: that is enough;i will just go in and fresh up and then return to the hospital(he go in and fresh up and returned)i go ahead
Loveth: i go with you
Lucas: do you want my son to get mad at you
Loveth: i don't care;i just want to see him
Lucas: you kidding right?
Loveth: i am not;no one is at home and i will be back before you know it
Lucas: don't go with me;i will..
Loveth: no dad;i will go with with you and please don't stop me
Lucas: alright come on lets go
Loveth: thank you sir(curtain)


Darling: this is the hotel Vivian told me. i just pray my instinct is right. that my husband can't do anything like that......


SEE MORE....


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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One sunday morning my neighbour got up early from bed, put on his polo, dressed quietly, made his breakfast, slipped quietly into the garage to pick up his hook from his car boot, and proceeded back out into a heavy rainfall.

The rain was so heavy and the wind was blowing 50 mph. He rushed back into the car, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.

He went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There he cuddled up to his wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

She sleepily replied, "Can you believe that my silly husband is out fishing in that terrible weather?".


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-27 08:17:58

1255 Views




Am going to miss this gentle man. If not for any other thing but for accepting defeat. Not only that he accepted defeat but he did it with pure heart for the peace of the Nation. Its only a man of integrity can do that. That's what leadership should be. Hoping that the new president will have the heart to do so in 2019.
Goodby Jonathan
Goodby Mr President
Goodby GEJ

I miss your smiles

Now, irrespective of your political party, religion and believe. Kindly drop your farewell messages and what you will miss about him.







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-29 06:23:09

715 Views




BROKEN SEAL 2
EPISODE 22

Isabella: on the contrary, i
have goodnews!
Me: good news? What about?
Isabella: i was able to get his
cellphone yesterday!!!!
Samuel: smarl girl…..i guess
with that, we can track his
previous phone calls, the
conversations made and the
locations.
Do you have the cellphone
with you?
Isabella: i sure do!
She ran her hands through her
bag for some seconds and
finally retrieved an apple smart
phone.
Mark: the next move now is to
get police permit.
Me: that wouldn’t be a
problem! First we go to the
station and then to the service
provider.
*************************************
Rodelio came into the room
where Ella was held captive.
The room was devoid of any
being and clothes littered the
floor.
“She must be in the bathroom”
he thought, because he heard
the shower running.
He waited patiently for her, he
hadn’t seen her for only hours
but he is missing her already.
In no distant time, Ella came
out of the bathroom, totally
unclad, she wasn’t expecting
any one!
Rodelio got carried away the
instant he set his eyes, her
unclad body awakened his
sexual desires, he instantly got
a hard erection.
He had never felt like this
around her.
Ella was a super decent girl,
and he always respected her
for that, but today was
different.
Ella on the other hand felt
greatly ashamed, she regretted
ever thinking of taking her
bath today.
Albeit it wasn’t her fault, no
towel was provided except
some dresses and other
toiletries, he routine was to
take her bath and dress in the
next room.
She used her bare hands to
cover her feminine members, it
was too late though.
Everything had been captured
by Rodelio’s retina and the
lustful message sent directly to
his brain.
Ella reached for a dress on the
bed, still in that bending
position, Rodelio got off the
little couch and pushed her
into the bed.
She was beneath while he was
centimetres above her, thanks
the the clenched fists he dug
into the bed.
Ella: please don’t do this, i beg
of you.
Rodelio: sssh…..your gonna
enjoy this, we would enjoy it
together.
Ella: you’ve already punished
me enough and am willing to
take more punishments except
this…..
Rodelio paid deaf ear to her
pleas, as he ripped off his shirt
and pant leaving him only on
boxers.
His heavily muscled body was
on display, his rigid abs and
tattooed body was what every
lady would on a good day die
for.
Ella seized the interstice he
provided to run, but to where?
Perhaps the bathroom because
the door was heavily bolted.
She didn’t take a pace off the
bed before Rodelio slapped her
into it again.
All done and dusted Forcefully,
heartlessly and effortlessly he
had her, he emptied the cup of
lust and was no left with regret
to deal with.
Ella was sobbing nonestop.
Rodelio: Ella i’m s….sorry….i
didn’t mean to…..
Ella: oh shut up, haven’t you
had what you wanted? Isn’t
this why you caged me here?
To satisfy your sexual desires, i
hate you!!!
Rodelio: please?
Ella: i don’t want to ever see
you again ‘phiiaaa’ she spat on
him, i hate you.
To be continued

>>

Bill Gates organized an
enormous session to recruit
a new CEO for Microsoft
Europe. Five thousand
candidates assembled in a
large room.
One of the candidate is
Akpos. Bill Gates thanked all
the candidates for coming
and asked those who do not
know Java program to leave.
Two thousand candidates
leave the room. Akpos says
to himself, “I do not know
Java but I have nothing to
lose if I stay. I’ll give it a
try.”
Bill Gates asked the
candidates who never had
experience of managing more
than 100 people to leave.
Two thousand leave the
room. Akpos says to himself,
“I’ve never managed
anybody by myself but I
have nothing to lose if I stay.
What will be the worse thing
that can happen?” So he
stays.
Then Bill Gates asked
candidates who do not have
management diplomas to
leave. Five hundred people
leave the room. Akpos says
to himself, “I left school at 15
but what have I got to lose?”
So he stays in the room.
Lastly, Bill gates asked the
candidates who do not speak
German to leave. Four
hundred and ninety-eight
candidates leave the room.
Akpos says to himself, “I do
not speak one word of
German but what do I have to
lose? So he stays and finds
himself with one other
candidate.
Everyone else has gone. Bill
Gates joined them and said,
“Apparently, you are the
only two candidates who
speak German, so I’d now
like to hear you have a
conversation together in that
language.”
Calmly, Akpos turns to the
other candidate and says,
“Omo, na wa o!”
The other candidate
answers, “Omo, Wetin we go
do na.”



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-17 09:59:50

1645 Views




Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in Maine, I was stopped by a state trooper in New York for exceeding the speed limit.Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, I gave him a small bag of my grandmother’s delicious chocolate-chip cookies and proceeded on my way.A short time later, I was stopped by another trooper.“What have I done?” I asked.“Nothing,” the trooper said, smiling. “I heard you were passing out great chocolate-chip cookies.”Related

Apkos again [Read it]


Akpos returns a book to the library, bangs it
on the counter and
yells, “I read this entire novel; there are too
many names of people
and no story at all”. The Librarian looks up
and responds: “Idiot so
you are the one who took the Attendance
book?
HOW WAS YOUR DAY LUVLY PEOPLE!!!! #B-gof


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-11 18:39:46

299 Views




Tension is high








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-31 12:34:50

930 Views




Zindagi Mein To Sabhi



Zindagi Mein To Sabhi Pyaar Kiya Karte Hain;

Main To Markar Bhi Meri Jaan Tujhe Chahoonga;



Tu Mila Hai To Ye Ehsaas Huaa Hai Mujhko;

Ye Meri Umar Mohabbat Ke Liye Thhodi Hai;



Ek Zara Sa Ghum-E-Dauraan Ka Bhi Haq Hai Jis Par;

Maine Wo Saans Bhi Tere Liye Rakh Chhodi Hai;



Tujh Pe Ho Jaaoonga Qurban Tujhe Chahoonga;

Main To Markar Bhi Meri Jaan Tujhe Chaahoonga;



Apne Jazbaat Mein Naghmaat Rachaane Ke Liye;

Maine Dhadkan Ki Tarah Dil Mein Basaaya Hai Tujhe;



Main Tasavvur Bhi Judaai Ka Bhala Kaise Karoon;

Maine Kismat Ki Lakeeron Se Churaaya Hai Tujhe;



Pyar Ka Banke Nigehbaan Tujhe Chaahoonga;

Main To Markar Bhi Meri Jaan Tujhe Chaahoonga;



Teri Har Chaap Se Jalte Hain Khayaalon Mein Chiraag;

Jab Bhi Tu Aaye Jagaata Huaa Jaadu Aaye;



Tujhko Chhulun To Aye Jaan-E-Tamanna Mujhko;

Dair Tak Apne Badan Se Teri Khushboo Aaye;



Tu Bahaaron Ka Hai Unwaan Tujhe Chaahoonga;

Main To Marrkar Bhi Meri Jaan Tujhe Chaaoounga!


Translation:


Gham-e-dauraan: Period of sorrow

Naghmaat: Melody

Tasavvur: Contemplation

Nigaahbaan: Guard, Janitor

Jaan-e-Tamanna: Hearts desire

Unwaan: Form, Headline, Label, LegendRelated

AYOMIDE'S ADVENTURE EPISODE 17

The girl dey moan small small,I just
wan tell him make she take her inside
but I was unable to,because I was
the one holding my francisca who
was already drunk,on our way
to our room,I saw her friends who
were busy dancing,I wasn't that
happy seeing tomilola dancing
with another guy,no be my
girlfriend o but I don't know
what brings about this jealousy
in me,I think maybe na greed be
this.
We finally got to our room,
francisca was really tipsy o,
she can't stood up herself
anymore or else she would
Fall,I finally laid her on bed
thinking I would have my way
inside her but she just don't
Know what's happening anymore,
I come dey blame myself say
I add something to her drink,
shey no be like this the other
girls go be?,will I be able to do
anything today?,during my deep
thought,I saw francisca dozing off,
Chai!!,this girl fall asleep o...
Well this might as well be
a good thing for..now that she don
sleep,I will be free to walk around to
anywhere,nobody will be my handbag,
I went straight to the restroom and wash
my tipsy face,at least am still 50% okay,
I can still S#X anybody.
After washing my face,I check on
Olamide,in his room,chai!!!,he was already
there with that babe,f**king her badly,come
see how she dey shout,her moan was even moving me,like I should jump over her,I
finally rush down to the club,where my
girls were dancing,they were still there o,
except esther whom I was told that she left
for her room,coz she is already tipsy,I think
the other two girls were addicted to this kind
of thing,which means my francisca and esther
Are still a learner.
After I got to Bolanle,I told her I would
like to dance with her,that was the first thing
that comes to my mind(the first scope),she
happily faced me,and we began to dance,
It was this song aye sing by davido the
Dj was playing when we started dancing,I was
not really moved because I am not a fan
of the singer,I prefer wizkid,so as we were
dancing,I just dey go closer..
The dj finally change the song to
wizkid's on top your matter,chai!!,
come see how everybody just dey sing
the song,"I fit die on top ur matter eeeee baby
o,baby girl God bless ur mother eee baby o,
you too fine pass mammy water e,baby bless ur
mother,baby girl God go bless ur father eee..."
Na now I just know say their are other people
who loves wizkid here more than me but me no
carry last o,I also join dem in singing it....
Na so this girl(bolanle) wey I dey
dance with turn her back to me,her yansh
was now facing my D*ck,as she begin dey
twist,oh my gosh!!,shey dis girl don forget
say I be her friend's lover??,abi she don get
Drunk badly??,but me also never carry last,
Yoruba boys no dey carry last when it comes
to this stuffs,I draw her very closer as she
continue to twist and twerk,I started caressing
her body,till I reach for her boobs,chai!!,this
Boob no be small thing o,its medium size as
I think,she doesn't even say anything as I
Started rubbing her chest like its my gf's
own,she continue dancing ni o,my d*ck
is already getting up now.....
Its erected,I believe she dey feel am,
this thing must be touching her back I think,
we continue dancing,I really caress her body,
now I know her hormones should be up,she
Should be moved by now,as I bend and whisper
into her ear,"let me feel you more than this",
"This is all you can feel here,she can't
feel me more than this,if you want to,you can
follow me,and let's go to my room"she retorted
I swear!!!,it was easy more than I
can imagine,so everything don set be that?,
So I will finally ride on this girl tonight?,
Chai!!!,I was so happy,my first S#X shall be
with this girl?,hmmm,I hurried up and told her
am ready for her, she later left for her room as
I approach her friend tomilola,I told I am
going to my room now.
I think she wasn't satisfy with the
dance she don dance as she continue to
dance,something came to my mind
that I might as well be able to f*ck
tomilola also this night,but I don't
even pay attention to that as I
Ran upstairs to meet my bolanle
who is already in her room half
naked,she already shower,she have
already wrapped her body with
a short towel as I can I see her laps,
which makes me more crazy,I wanted
to eat up this girl as fast as possible.
I approach her,she told me to have
my shower first,so I finished up in time,
now am left with only boxers,come see
how my MR lagbaja stood up inside
my boxers,I was even shy at first to
let her see it,but who sends,am still
Very tipsy,as I rushed inside the room
back,I don't even get time for talking...
I hugged her,I started romancing
her,now our lips is now in contact,
I kissed her wetly,her tongue was now
Inside my mouth,as my own is inside
hers,I romanced this girl o,for like
30 minutes we still dey kiss and romance,
Now her body is aroused...
TO BE CONTINUED.....

>>

Above is a trending image of NYSC Corps members on their kneels at their Orientation camp just because they annoyed their Platoon Inspector.
This reportedly happened at Umunna, Bende Orientation Camp, Abia State. Below is what they wrote:

“I am a corp member currently undergoing orientation course at the NYSC orientation camp, Umunna, Bende, Abia state.

This morning, during parade rehearsals, some corp members in 9 Platoon got the platoon inspector annoyed and he punished them by kneeling them down for some time before releasing them. #Even graduates still get kindergarten punishments #
Read full story + photos..
Click the link below

Mind is the matrix of all matter.

-Max PlanckRelated

Akpos attended a wedding.
After the wedding the reception was a
gathering of about 30 people.
He sat at the front seat.
Then a lady started sharing food. She started
from the back and unfortunately, it didn’t
reach those at the front.
When her friends started sharing drinks, they
started from the front but unfortunately,
Akpos had already changed his seat to the
back.
Again, the drink didn’t reach him.
Akpos was so furious that he stood up to take
his leave, but then he saw three ladies each
with a big bowl.
This time, he tried to be wise by seating in the
middle.
To his uttermost surprise, one of the ladies
started sharing from the front while the
second lady started distributing from the
back. It was turkey meat. When it got to the
middle where he was seated it got finished
again.
Feeling so frustrated, Akpos bent his head,
not looking at any face… .. But then the third
lady tapped him and stretched her bowl that
he should pick.. he stretched his hand…
Guess what was in the bowl? **TOOTHPICK.*


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-01-13 13:57:22

620 Views



CHRISTISH [Read it]




By Awaljnr


This is a story of a guy who hated everything about rich people at the age of 8years. (Ish). On the other hand
# Christiana who happens to be a wealthy girl finds herself geting close this guy. The 6years old girl is an halfcaste whose mother is an american and her dady being a Ghanaian. Christiana leaves to america after being mistreated my this mean guy. # Ish lived with his mother after his famous and rich father left his mother after his birth. He grew fond of Christiana after she left to the states. Ish then gets his hopes up to meet Christiana again if he learns hard. He achieves his dream of going to the states. Without knowing Christiana’s identity, Ish falls into Christiana’s hands. She knows she had met the rude Ish again but because the whites almost looks the same, Ish couldnt differeciate who Christiana could be. Will Christiana take revenge on Ish or will Ish find his long lost friend to be with? And even so, the suppose dad of Ish could also be Christiana’s famous dad. What will happen incase love sets in? Is it true that love is stronger than hatred? Find out from the story left untold.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Story of a lady [Read it]


A lady kept her only bucket outside last night to fetch some rain water. As she woke up the following morning to take her bath, she noticed that water board had given water. So she now decided to pour the rain water away so that she can fetch tap water, since tap water is more clean and not too cold. As she poured the rain water and on the tap, behold, the water board had seized the water again. She was so disappointed and felt so bad. She had no other option than to go outside and buy some water. Later that day, her neighbor confessed that she drop charm inside the lady's water so that she won't marry.

Now my prayer for you this sunday is that All your disappointments will turn into a BLESSING to you and your ENemies will never see you. If you believe say "AMEN". Happy sunday to u our dear esteem fans


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-24 08:29:41

517 Views




We have three classes of poverty. Primary, Secondary and Tertiary poverty. Teacher asks "who can explain the three classes of poverty?" Akpos stood up and said "Sir we are operating in the three classes of poverty o". The teacher asks "have you paid your school fees?" Akpos replied "that's exactly what I mean"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-21 06:08:40

514 Views




Ek Baar Santa Ka Dost Musibat Mein Tha Wo Santa Se Ye Baat Share Karte Hue Kahta Hai.

Dost Bola: “Yaar Musibat Ke Waqt Gadhe Ko Bhi Baap Banana Padta Hai”

Santa: “Wah Yaar Badi Himmat Hai Jo Teri Mummy Maan Bhi Jati Hai“Related

lost but lost [Read it]


Akpos again!!! Akpos got 2 skool late on monday morning and the teacher asked "Akpos why did u come to school late?" Akpos answered "one man lost #1,000 note at d bus stop" the teacher said "ooohh! thats good of you", "seems you were helping the man look for his lost money". 


Akpos answered "Nooo! I DEY CRAZE Na me stand on top of the money"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-13 08:28:08

472 Views




One day, Akpos the fisherman was travelling with a Professor and the following conversation ensued:

Professor: Fisherman, do you know Ecology?
Fisherman Akpos: No
Professor: What about Zoology?
Fisherman Akpos: No
Professor: what of Biology?
Fisherman Akpos: I don’t know.
Professor: (irritated) What on Earth do you know this man your going to die in ignorance.
Two hours later their boat started to sink and the Professor got scared.
Akpos then asked, “do you know swimminology? ”
Professor: No
Fisherman Akpos: What about Escapology from the Riverolog?
Professor: No
Fisherman Akpos: Today, the Crocodiology is going to consume your Headology beacause of your bad Mouthology.




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-02 08:56:10

245 Views




Chester didn't need to stay behind just as Esther agreed to wait for Wisdom. So he shook hands with Wisdom and departed. Of course he had a driver who suppose to have taken him home but he always insisted on living like other students.
Students weren't much at school. All had gone home except the seniors who hung around with their dates but none was at the sight of Mr Anuma to avoid embarrassment especially when it comes with a mind blowing grammar.
Jennifer and her two friends were still around. They were inside the classroom arranging their books while Esther and Wisdom were seen at the junior section. They walked like teenage couples with their bags hanging on their backs. Wisdom moved to lock the JSS1 door and Esther called him back.
"Let me help you with your bag" she said.
Without hesitating Wisdom handed the bag to her. In the process, his arm mistakenly touched her soft breast and Esther smiled.
"Why are you s CONTUINE READING ??

Question [Read it]


AKPOS QUESTION!!!
10 MINS TO UR WEDDING, YOU'RE
CALLED FOR A CONTRACT WORTH OVER
300 MILLION DOLLARS....
"WILL YOU GO FOR THE CONTRACT OR
GO TO YOUR WEDDING ?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-30 12:17:35

562 Views




I miss the noise of the crackers;

I miss the lighted rockets in the sky;

I miss your dancing on the Chakaris;

I miss admiring the colourful Anaars;

But what I miss the most is your childhood;

When you filled the house with happiness and joy.

Happy Diwali to my wonderful child!Related

New way of crossing Roads in Nigeria
Look sideways for cars
Look down for bombblast
Look up for plane crash
Now run zigzag to avoid stright bullet


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-16 05:24:23

361 Views



COLD [Read it]


This Cold Is Likely Powered By M.T.N Because Is Everywhere You Go... #B-goF


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-08 19:00:01

398 Views



GoT Job in USA [Read it]


I will miss you guys so
much. I will be moving to
the US next month, thanks
guys for being there for
me. Got a job offer with an
Arch firm. I'll be taking off
for Chicago on the 14th of
june, you can always
reach me on
+1642365420874543. Keep
up doing great things,
sorry about the short
notice, I just got the
confirmation letter. I'll still
be on BBM, facebook and
on all other social media. I
will miss you guys so much.
That's what I dreamt about
last night.
#B-goF #Be5t



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-26 15:06:24

374 Views



Confession! [Read it]


A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
“You will understand,” he said, “the seal of the confessional, can never be broken. However, I got my first impressions of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I can only hint vaguely about this, but when I came here twenty-five years ago I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had stolen a television set, and when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. Further, he told me he had embezzled money from his place of business and had an affair with his boss’s wife. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that, and I had, indeed come to, a fine parish full of understanding and loving people.”
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk.
“I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in this parish,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.”Related

Funny beggar [Read it]


A girl sits down to rest on the park bench: the following conversation ensues between her and a funny beggar; Funny beggar: hi, my sweetheart. girl: how DARE you call me YOUR SWEETHEART. funny beggar: and what the HELL are you doing on MY BED?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-09 22:32:44

223 Views




Hard Fact:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence!Related

"stupidity is when a woman spent extra money
to buy a phone cover to cover her phone and
extra screen guard to cover her phone's
screen but the cloth she is wearing is not
covering her breasts and pants.Some have the
most difficult passwords that locks their phones but have the cheapest way to open
their legs for sex to men. They protect their
phones but not their lives. #B-goF #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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That wasn’t my plan at all, boriness not good at
all. I took my bath after i saw Esther off then
laid on my bed and reminisced how it went.
While sucking me, many thought start through
my mind. I’m not really dating this girl and i’m
about to do what i will later regret. I’ve always
to be a good guy especially to girls, respect
them and all. I know did many bad things back
then, but now is the time for a change. Either i
get a nice and loving girlfriend or abstain from
s-x.
Me: (Withdrawing) Errmmm…
Esther: What is it?
Me: Don’t u think what we’re doing is wrong?
Esther: As in?
Me: I can’t do this, i’m sorry.
Esther: Are u being serious? Like seriously??
Me: Yea, seriously. I mean we aint even dating
yet and we’re already doing what we are doing
and about to
Esther: So… whats all this about?
Me: See I know started this and i’m sorry, but
lets stop this and just be friends if its ok with u
Esther: Hhmmm… Mr. Nice guy. Ok oo
Me: So… friends?
Esther: Friends
Me: Cool, once again, i’m sorry
Esther: Its ok
We dressed up then i saw her off
[email protected], i don’t want to do that again or should i
say i don’t want to get bored anymore. Then i
realized that
An idle man is the devils workshop Indeed it is.
I just don’t want to be a bad guy, its not even
about the advise of my relatives but for myself. I
don’t want to be popular for bad deeds at all, i
hope and pray God help me with my dreams for
greatness.
??????
Walking on the streets to get what to eat, too
tired to prepare anything then my phone rings
Me: Hello
Titus: Guy hwfa i see ur missed call
Me: Yea, i call u that time sha
Titus: Wats up
Me: Nothing much, i just for enter ur side ne
Titus: No vex bro, my phone dey silent, i dey
with my bae that time dey **** u understand
how e be na
Me: Oya na, no p
Titus: Correct guy, leta na.
Me: Ok
Bad guy straffed his bae, i almost did the same
too but not my initial intention. I got to my suya
spot and bought some, got myself yoghurt then
headed home, my home or room whatever jare.
Sunday morning… i went to Church, the sermon
and other activities was great. I met my parents,
siblings and friends we exchanged pleasantries
and all that. Time to go back to school, i went
to dad to inform him, he said ok and some
advise bla bla
he dipped his hand into his suit, brought out an
envelope and gave it to me. I thanked him then
went to my mum at their women fellowship
meeting, told her i’d be on my way. She reached
for her bag, brought out her purse and gave me
some folded #500 notes (i collected it. Wait,
what are u guys saying? that i shouldn’t collect
again after getting from uncle and dad?? No
way!!) 2Pac Shakur once said“I want my money
in large amount, ‘coz every dollar counts”I love
2pac! Every naira counts jare.)
Woman: Is this Victor? (addressing my mum)
Mum: Yes, he is the one.
Woman: He’s grown so big already
Mum: You can say that again, i thank God
Woman: Are u done with secondary? (addressing
me)
Me: *chai! our people like school eh* Yes ma.
I’m now in the university
Woman: Wow! thats quick
Me: I thank God
Woman: What are u studying?
Me: Business Administration ma
Woman: Oh i see… are u sure u can do business
with that your calm, gentle and shy attitude? or
have u changed?
Me: (Chai! me that banged your daughter
Dorothy) I’m still trying on overcoming it ma
Woman: Good.*looking into her bag*let me
urmm… u know, take this…
Me: (Woah! again?!) Ma, u don’t have to bother
ma (pretending jare)
Woman: Hey, u’re shy i know but u don’t have
any other option. Now take it
Me: (In my mind: opening my hands when u
have no choice. The way jerry does in the
cartoon ‘Tom & Jerry’) Thank u ma. (Accepting
the neat, flat #1000 notes like 7 of them).
Woman: Don’t mention, just study hard ok?
Me: Ok ma, how are Richy, Flora, Dorothy and
mama ma?
Woman: They’re all fine
Me: My greetings ma (except Dorothy)
Woman: Alright, they will certainly hear
especially Richy and Dorothy
Me: (Doro what??!) Ok ma, bye ma.
I also bade my mum and every one else bye
then went home. I only go to the family church
once in a month or two as i went to the
school’s Church.
*On my bed counting all the money*See why i
need to keep to myself? not showing of my bad
side? am i even bad? doesnt seem so, i just felt
so) Enough money, that was when i thought of
having t.v, dvd, home theatre, play station 3
(video game) and fridge filled with many things
such as: lots of yoghurts, meats, milk, eggs, etc.
And i got them all.

To Be Continued.... #B-goF

>> Part 7 -

Q: What’s the difference between a woman having her period and a terrorist?

A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.Related

The following WhatsApp chat ensued between Akpors and his boss.
Akpos: Boss, I won't be able to come to work today.
Boss: Why not?
Akpos: It rained heavily in my area and the whole place is flooded.
Boss: You listed ^swimming^ as your hobby in your CV. so hurry up and come to work! I'm expecting you!
Akpos: Jesus christ!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-19 16:18:32

145 Views




White kid: Shut up Dad!
Dad: (keeps quite)
..
Nigeria kid: Shut up Dad!
*Kid was up asking*
Where am i
Doctor: You are in Surulere Hospital for
6 days with 16 drips
Try And Die


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-11-19 21:56:41

185 Views




It was morning after Halloween night. As the Sun started rising in Las Vegas, the party city, there weren't any ghosts left. The last remnants of party litter were being cleared. It was a new day and new reason for the next party to continue after the Sun sets.

The desert Sun rays pierced through the tinted glass of the seventieth floor penthouse suite of Carter Luxury Hotel and Casino and raced to touch the beautiful sleeping face of Ana, but lost the battle to heat up the penthouse bedroom, as the quiet central air conditioner made sure to keep it at constant seventy degrees, as per the demands of its current occupier.

Ana could still feel the light rays hitting her face, but was losing the battle to open her eyes, as she hated to give up the comfort she was feeling, but nonetheless her brain kicked into action.

She couldn't understand her reluctance to wake up, she was an early riser and her bedroom was not anything that you would want to spend time in, other than as an absolute necessity. She knew something was wrong, she felt so comfortable and cozy, she was afraid to open her eyes and end the magical moment.

As the clouds in her brain cleared, she realized it was Sunday and she was supposed to catch a plane to New York to start her new job. That was enough to make her open her eyes and check her surroundings.

Ana's POV
As my eyes adjusted to the light, I knew I was in trouble, the room I was sleeping in was definitely not mine, including the bed I was sleeping in. I looked around and immediately realized that I was in some kind of luxury suite, no wonder it felt so comfortable.

But how did I get here, I tried to think, but my head started hurting.
I tried to move, but couldn't move my body as if I was glued to the bed. I removed the comforter slowly with my hands and looked at what I was wearing. I couldn't recognize the furry dress covering my chest. Then suddenly the dress started moving pulling me back into something warm and hard.
It was then I realized that I wasn't wearing anything, but I had someone's hand over my chest cupping my left breast. I slowly moved my right hand to feel under my waist and the results weren't good. I was sleeping naked in someone's arms with his right arm over my chest and left arm between my legs.
OMG! I was butt naked covered by just his hands. How did this happen to me? Who is he? What did he do to me?
I didn't want to think what might have happened to my virginity, as my immediate need was to get away from whoever was holding me hostage. My heartbeat was so loud that I was afraid he would hear me. I wasn't sure how I got into this situation, but was sure I need to get away before the other person wakes up.
I slowly distangled myself from his arms and in very slow movements got off the bed. If someone noticed, they would think I was practicing Tai chi. My heart was racing as if I was in some horror movie, but the fear I felt was true. I looked around and found my undergarments lying on the floor.
I quickly dressed without making any noise, pulling my dress over my head. It was torn in the front and my bra was showing. I can't go out like this, so I opened his wardrobe and wrapped one his sports jackets around me. I also took one of his golf caps to cover my unruly hair. Instead of wearing my heels, I carried them by hand and tip toed silently out of the room. As I reached the door, I was tempted to turn around and see the face of the person who stole my virginity, but I was so scared and the need to escape from that situation overruled the temptation. I started praying, hoping to escape without getting caught.
"Jesus..Jesus..Jesus..Jesus.Jesus..Jesus! "
I still wasn't out of danger. The moment I stepped out in the living room, I found it littered with food and alcohol and several people lying around in different stages of nakedness. Must have been one hell of a party.

My heart was still racing as I stepped through the bodies making my way towards the exit. I was afraid someone would wake up and grab me and subject me to torture or rape.

I opened the main door and stepped into the corridor and looked around hoping to see someone, but didn't find anyone. I almost ran, upto the elevator and pressed the down arrow.

"Jesus..Jesus..Jesus..Jesus.Jesus..Jesus!"

The elevator arrived after eternity and only when the door closed, I felt little safe for the first time. I put on my heels while it raced down to the lobby. My brain was so busy trying to escape that I didn't have the time to think what happened to me or how I got myself in this situation, but one thing was sure that I lost something very valuable to me personally.

As I got off the elevator in the lobby, I raced towards the exit, crossing through the casino floor. I skipped the the taxi line and ran up the street to catch a running taxi. Tears were rolling down my cheeks thinking about the loss I suffered.
I was running, looking back at the street for an empty cab, when I bumped into an elderly tourist.

"Excuse me! Please watch where you are going." She screamed.

"I am really sorry maam. Are you ok?" I asked holding her from falling.

"OMG honey! You are crying. Are you ok? Are you in trouble? " she asked.

"Its okay, I just lost something very valuable. I will be fine. Thank you" I thanked her for her kindness.

"Don't worry honey, I hope and pray that you gain back much more than you lost and God bless you." I thanked her and got into a taxi.

I was hoping to not run into my roommate Cari, as I had no answers, but only questions. I went to my room, undressed and got into shower. Only then I broke down and cried my heart out.

I wanted to put together everything that happened in the last 24 hours, but I had no time to think and my head was hurting. I had a plane to catch. After shower, I quickly put on my jeans and shirt and did a quick check of the room. Luckily I packed everything before and was all set to leave, when my eyes fell on the sports jacket and the golf cap, I took from the unknown guy who took my virginity. I thought of dumping them in the trash, but on second thought, quickly put them in a plastic cover and threw them in my suitcase.

I called for a cab and left a note for Cari, as I was leaving without telling her. She has been a very good and helping friend and promised to drop me at airport today, but I knew she must have come late, after yesterday night's party, which I was supposed to attend, but obviously that didn't happen and I had no answers myself. So it was best for me to leave and once I figure out things, I will call her and apologize.

I made it to the airport on time and after checking in my luggage I went through the security check and was able to board the plane just in time.

As the plane was taxiing away to the runway, I was looking through the window and felt mixed feelings about the whole Vegas trip, but like everyone says, I hoped, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

As the engines lifted the plane into the sky towards New York, my brain went into overdrive trying to piece together the events in the last twenty four hours.

------------------------

Episode 3 comes up as soon as i get 20 comments.
Stay tuned...


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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love quote [Read it]


ADVICE TO LADIES:With all SINCERITY young
Ladies,u truly look PRETTY But i have towarn
u not to loose ur VIRGINITY.Don't allow what
u see in urVICINITY to break ur wall
ofSECURITY...ur VIRGINITY is urDIGNITY,
protect it and make it urnumber One
PRIORITY. Don'tallow error of PROXIMITY to
leadu into IMMORALITY. Some of urfriends call
you MINORITY Bcs udon't follow their PARTY
OFMAJORITY, They show off theirbody as
PUBLICITY & now u arethinking of embracing
theirINSANITY. Pls, don't listen to
themBecause all is VANITY uponVANITY! With
Baba GOD the rulerof ETERNITY you have a
trueIDENTITY & u are covered bydivine
IMMUNITY. Leave them toPARTY in their
IRASCIBILITYbecause in REALITY, the end
isCALAMITY. If u have lost urVIRGINITY
already, don't worry,GOD can still give u a
newIDENTITY. But u have to stop
allIMMORALITY so that u can accessthe
beautiful CITY prepared bythe Almighty...I rest
my case Withall HONESTY


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-10 20:05:48

536 Views




Kanjoos(Miser) lawyer working in UK wrote to his wife in India .Dear Sunita Darling,I can’t send you my salary this month because the global market crisis has affected my Company’s performance, so I am sending 100 kisses.You are my sweetheart, please understand and adjust with this situation.Your loving husband,TunaHis wife replied..TINKU KE PAPPA,
Thanks for the 100 kisses.Below is the list of expenses I paid with the Kisses…1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s milk.2. The electricity man, Kooldip Singh, agreed not to disconnect only after 7 kisses.3. Your landlord Kapal Singh comes every day to take 2 or 3 kisses instead of the monthly rent.4. Supermarket owner Jaswant Singh did not accept kisses only, so I gave him other items, I hope you understand.5. Miscellaneous expenses 40 kisses.Please don’t worry about me, I still have a balance of 35 kisses andI hope I can survive the month using this balance.Shall I plan the same for the next month?Your Sweet Heart,SunitaRelated
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