Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Later in bed, I simply could not sleep. All
I could think of was Beth. Was she really
coming onto to me ? Or was it just that I
have been very lonely for too long of a
time. Whatever the case, I soon found my
hand around my cock, slowly pumping it up
and down. In no time, my cock was throbbing
and I could feel my orgasm coming. I closed
my eyes, thought of Beth, and exploded into
the best orgasm I had experienced in quite
some time. I can honestly say, I fell
asleep that night and slept like a baby.
The next day, I was at the office, when I
got a call from Beth. “How about dinner
tonight ?” she asked. Even though, I could
not imagine spending a night with Lance, I
accepted. “About 8 p.m.” she said. “ We
will pick you up.” There it was confirmed,
Lance would be attending. I trudged through
the day and soon was headed home to get
ready. They arrived right on time and we
headed out to a really nice restaurant not
far away. Lance as always, was his old
charming self. I just simply could not see
what Beth ever saw in this guy. But as
always, I held my tongue and made small
talk. Dinner was more of the same, but I
did notice that Lance was really drinking a
bit more than usual. While waiting for
desert, Lance got up and excused himself to
go to the restroom. Beth as always, quickly
apologized for his behavior. “Its not your
fault Beth” I replied. “You simply have to
quit excusing him for being this way.” She
nodded in agreement just as he returned to
the table. We finished desert, while Lance
finished two more drinks. When we got up to
leave, I just knew he was not in the
position to drive home. As to not get Beth
into an argument with him, I stepped up and
said “ Lance, let me drive home, you can
relax, why take a chance on a DWI ?” Lance
gave me one of his looks and replied “ I am
not even close to being ready to go home,
lets head to a club.” Not being the
drinker, I declined. We rode back in
silence, I could tell Lance was pissed as
usual. I felt bad for Beth because I knew
she was going to bear the brunt of it. As
we pulled into my driveway, I thanked them
and got out quickly. Being already late, I
decided to head straight to bed. I was
probably asleep for a couple of hours when
my cell phone rang. I reached over half
asleep, looked at the phone and saw it was
Beth calling. “Jeff” she said. “Yes, whats
wrong ?”. “I don’t know”, she replied, “I
just can’t sleep.” She told me that Lance
had dropped her off at their home and went
back out. He was still not home. I looked
at the clock and it was 3:44 in the
morning. “Does he do this often ?” I asked.
“Yes” she replied, “Lately a lot.” She then
pretty much opened up to me about her
entire marriage with Lance and how she had
just about come to the breaking point.
Somehow during this conversation she began
telling me about her sex life. She told me
that she used to talk to Susan about this,
but since she had died, there was really no
one to confide in. She told me for the past
few years, the only person Lance was
interested in satisfying was himself. She
hinted that she was pretty much having to
take care of herself just to be able to
relieve a bit of tension. “ Well” I
replied, “ I know that feeling well.” She
giggled and the conversation ended a minute
or two later. I looked at the clock and it
was almost 5 a.m., so there was no point in
trying to go back to asleep. It was
Saturday and being alone that meant I had
to buy groceries, wash my car and clean the
house up a bit.
The day flew by and I got a lot
accomplished. That evening I went to a
local Chinese Restaurant, got a lot of take
out and went back home. I took a quick
shower, then sat down to eat and watch TV.
About five minutes later my phone rang and
once again it was Beth. I actually debated
on whether to answer the phone or not. I
really was not up to being the considerate
listener tonight. But after two more rings,
I picked up. “Hi Beth, what’s up ?”, She
replied “ Not much, Lance went to the
basketball game with his friends, won’t be
home until late.” She added, “Would you
like to go out and grab a quick bit to
eat?” I told her I had just got back from
the Chinese Restaurant and had a lot of
food spread out here. Before I could say
anything else, she chirped
“ Oh, then I will join you.” I couldn’t say
anything else but, “Sure, no problem” at
that point. “ I’ll be right over”, Beth
said.
About 45 minutes later the doorbell rang
and it was Beth. As she passed me in the
open door, I immediately smelled a fresh,
powdery fragrance, with a slight hint of
perfume. I figured she was just out of the
shower. She had on jeans and a “T” shirt,
something which I have rarely seen her
wear. I got her a TV tray and set her up on
the end of the sofa with a plate. We
watched TV , ate and chatted for a good
while. The program went off at 8 p.m., and
there wasn’t much else coming on. “How
about some wine ?”, Beth asked. I told her
the bottle we had opened earlier in the
week was still on the island counter.
“Great”, she replied and was back with two
glasses in no time. We talked for a while
about her job, family and whatever else I
could think of to keep the conversation off
of Lance. Then, right out of the blue, she
blurted “Jeff, can I ask you a really
personal question ?” I thought for a
second, then hesitantly said , “I guess
so.” She took a deep breathe, turned a bit
red then asked, “Have you ever had sex
since my sister died ?” I replied, very
quickly, “No, never.” She seemed kind of
surprised and said “ You mean its been
almost 8 years since you had sex ?” I
answered her with a yes. I thought to
myself, I hope this conversation is over
with. But before the thought could leave my
head she came back with “ Do you masturbate
a lot ?” I guess, I must have turned a
pretty dark shade of red because she
quickly added, “ Oh its ok, I know all men
do and most women do too.” She continued “
If I didn’t get myself off regularly, I
would never cum.” Apparently Lance would
last only long enough to get himself off.
She told me many, many nights after he
would roll over and fall asleep, she would
bring herself to two or three orgasms. I
guess she could tell I was not the forward
type and if this was going to go anywhere,
she was going to have to take it there.
“Jeff, my sister and I used to talk a lot
about sex and she always told me what a
kind, considerate lover you were.” She
added, “In fact, Susan told me that many
times even though you were tired you would
go down on her and make her cum, asking
nothing in return.” I was shocked. Even
though Beth was dead on, and I knew only
Susan could have relayed that information
to her, I shrugged my shoulders and
stammered, “ I guess so.” Then Beth added,
“Did you like what you saw the other day ?”
I tried to plead ignorance, “What are you
talking about ?”, but I knew the quivering
in my voice gave me away. “Oh come on Jeff
“ , Beth replied, “ I saw you looking up my
skirt.”

Part 3 coming soon
Drop your comment pls.



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Need a girlfried

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note- mai sirf pyar de skta hu baaki saara kharcha kudi da apnaRelated

Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy
marriage, a young husband decides to solve both
problems by taking out a large insurance policy on
his wife, with himself as beneficiary, and arranging
to have her killed. A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a
nefarious underworld figure that went by the name
of "Artie." Artie explained to the husband that his
going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that
amount but he wouldn't have any cash on hand
until he could collect his wife's insurance money.
Artie insisted on being paid something up front.
The man opened up his wallet, displaying a single
dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed
to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty
deed. A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife into
the local Safeway grocery store. There he surprised
her in the produce department and proceeded to
strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor
unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and
slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled onto the scene. Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had
no choice but to strangle the produce manager as
well. Unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings was
captured by hidden cameras and observed by the
store's security guard, who immediately called the
police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could
leave the store. Under intense questioning at the police station,
Artie revealed the sordid plan, including his
financial arrangements with the hapless husband.
And that is why the next day in the newspaper, the
headlines declared: "ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT SAFEWAY" #B-goF #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-16 14:42:56

348 Views



Little Johnny [Read it]


Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems
when his teacher picked him to answer a question,
"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and
you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like
the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there
were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one
was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone
and the third was sucking her cone, which one is
married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one
sucking the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring
on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-15 15:12:39

406 Views



de drunkard [Read it]


There was this three{3}drunkard that wanted to travel to their village,they picked a taxi to take them over,the taxi driver knew that his three passengers were seriously drunk,so firstly he asked them to pay more than he normally charged and asked them to enter the car immediately this drunked men entered the car they started singing different choruses with a very loud voice,that the driver was so disturbed,so the driver' put on his car ignition {start his car} and throttle it for like 10minutes and off it again and order them to go out of his car that he has reach their village,so while they were coming out the first man say to the driver{thank you}the second man gave the driver extra money,and the last person gave to the driver a every hot slap,the driver asked him why do you slap me? and he thought the last man knew that he did not move the car,so the man now replied him next time when you are driving don't use much speed.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-10 00:17:24

1043 Views




JOKE PART 23 BY DINDY
Dindy and his girl were walking and talking about lovely things, they saw a spot where fried bean cake was sold, they stopped and bought it.
As they continued walking, they ate the bean cake one after the other.
Suddenly one mistakenly fell off Dindy's hand, Dindy bent down to pick it.
Girl: [Ashamed] Ah!, what are you doing?.
Dindy: Wanna pick the bean cake up and eat it.
Girl: [Angry] Don't do that, we are out in public.
Dindy: Ah see you!, With the way the economy is going now ehn, not even shango will leave a food sacrifice uneaten.....lol
DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 24.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-07 06:33:36

237 Views




JOKE PART 30 BY DINDY
I and a girl were talking at night (one day like that), when this following conversation took place.
Girl : Dindy, if I ask you to ask me to do something naughty, what would you prefer the most from me?.
Dindy: I would...
:
Dindy stands very close to her.
:
Girl breaths heavily with a racing heart.
:
Girl: [Talks slowly and softly] Just say it Dindy, just say it.
Dindy: I would ask you, whether your stretch marks can cut meat..
:
Girl Slaps Dindy and walks away.......lol
DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 31.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-22 02:34:05

243 Views




Police officers spotted urinating on the road opposite the Tafawa Balewa Square in Lagos this morning.
Una well done.







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-08 13:19:42

445 Views




Stephanie a secondary school leaver tells her friends that she had admission into the university but she is worried. when her friends tell her that maybe she is scared that her family,will not be able to care for her and she reassured them;that she is not thinking about that,her friends talk about her sad moment in a friendly way which make her happy and how it will be in the university and she later goes to her sisters



Stephanie: truly;indeed i am happy that i have gain admission into my dream university but then,i am sad,so many worries in my heart but i don't know why there is so much worries in me
Anita: you are doubtful;your mind is waving like the sea and your thought are full of the unknown because you felt that your expensive will be care for by who?
Ann: believe me that your worries are base on the fact that you lost your parents at birth but then your bills have always been pay for by somebody
Anita: there is a blow of the wind coming towards you;it shows that good fortune is around waiting to embrace you and to show you that life is better without any parent or wealth. my friend;it seems that you are losing hope,i know you are thinking of that;which you felt is the devil and the deep blue sea but with God all things are possible
Stephanie: no;come off it,i am not thinking about that which is in your mind;is just that i was thinking,how am i going to leave my family i lived with and start a new life without them
Anita: it is only nature for you to feel this way but then i know where your worries are coming from and what it is based on but then you have to be supportive by not asking too much from them and whatever they give to you accept it and show appreciation for all. they have being caring for you;haven't they?
Stephanie: yes;they are but.....
Ann: there is nothing,like that,if they had shown you love before and care for you,even when they have children they still share,one thing they have among themselves which is the bound of friendship without getting fed up and enrolling you in an exam which they know fully well that if you passed;you will be admitted into the university and it will cost them a lot but they still went ahead,it show that their love shouldn't be doubted
Anita: at least;we are all going to same school,we are still getting accommodation at same place. we can definitely manger the few things we have together,right?
Ann: yes;Stephanie;you have to face the truth;even if you do not want to tell us;that you don't want to be a liability (enter Tosan)
Tosan: good day all
Anita: you welcome
Tosan: what is it will the long face of yours?
Anita: don't mind her;she is worried over nothing
Tosan: don't you think you are trying to give your sister bad name by acting like a sadist,come on lets merry is thing of joy not a bad news
Ann: i will have to start going;i wish i have all the day,i would had make you are happy
Tosan: don't worry i will make her happy;very soon she will be dancing;jumping and limping on things
Stephanie: crazy girl;i am not sad is just that i am in no mood of those excitement
Ann: goodbye(exit Ann)
Anita: anyway daddy;have decided to give us one of the keys of one of his house close to school. so we don't have to pay for hostel and my cousin from my maternal,will be living with me;her name is Tina
Anita: does it mean;we can stay with you?
Tosan: are you not my cousin?why wouldn't you stay?
Anita: i am not talking about myself,i mean Stephanie and Ann
Tosan: of cause;we have being friends since senior secondary days and now that we are going to same university,it will be a perfect circle including Tina
Stephanie: thank you very much. i am grateful at least for now;one of my problem is solved
Anita: so you are happy now?i am beginning to see;you haven't enter but you are already home sick and lonely
Tosan: don't worry;in school,you will meet exciting people of different background and handsome boys that will change your life
Stephanie: i am not ready for that;i just want to get a good grade and make my family happy for their deeds and nice attitude towards i. i think,i will have to take my leave now
Anita: see you later
Tosan: bye;i still have many things to discuss with my cousin (exit Stephanie)
Anita: so why did Tina decided to come back
Tosan: did i know,anyway why is she so quiet(referring to Stephanie)
Anita: you know;she like keeping to herself and always comforting herself even if she is sad
Tosan: i think i like her silent;her beauty;understanding and intelligent. oh God;she is gifted but lack the potential of making used of all
Anita: come on;she has been exhibiting that of intelligent and showing her understanding towards issues
Tosan: alright,lets go and see the tailor that is making some of my wears. shall we (curtain)



SEE MORE....



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Crying [Read it]


Wat will u do when de only person dat can make you stop crying makes u to cry. But today newspapers na tomorrow suya wrap


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-01 11:36:22

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GRAND COMEDY HOUSE (STORY BY DINDY) EPISODE 3

Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story.

That was crazy of me right? Well what can I say, I'm a crazy thing [laughs].
Veron didn't catch me, I'm too smart for him, he tried all he could but I keep jumping and changing my direction.
The funny part was when he thought he had caught me, then I jumped into a moving bus and he fell inside a gutter [laughs].
Bad for him right? Well he deserved it, after all he did me wrong highly. The best part of it all for me, was that after that incident he started respecting me and feared me alot.
Now I got him under my control, I'm a bad ass right?, Yes I am when pushed to be bad.
I'm a good guy to be sincerely speaking, let me tell you how good of a person i am.
There was a day........
.....STORY BEGINS.....
Anita: "Dea dea, take this", she said to me.
Dea dea: "Ah, but daddy said you should...", I said but couldn't finish my statement because she blocked me with her words.
Anita: "Will you just shut up, naughty brat!", she shouted at me.
Anita: "Take this clothes and go wash them", she said rudely as she gave me the pair of hard jeans to wash.
Dea dea: " [complaining] oo I don't like this at all, daddy told you to wash it na", I said to her angrily.
Anita: "Shut up, c'mon take it now!", she ordered me rudely.
Dea dea: "ooo, you have started again o", I said to her as I took the hard jeans to wash them.
Anita: "You better behave yourself and wash that jeans well or else I will give you a dirty slap", she said to me as I left where she was.
Anita: "See this boy is becoming something else", she said.
Anita: "I will so teach him a lesson if he ever tries any stupid thing with me", she said.
.........THREE DAYS LATER........
Dad: "Dea dea!", called my dad.
Dea dea: "Yes dad i'm here sir", I said as I stood right in front of him.
Dad: "You told me that you wanted to buy new clothes right?", he asked me.
Dea dea: "Yes dad", I said.
Dea dea: "And I also need new shoes, nail cutter, make-up kit, rope, pet, chain the golden type", I said to my dad.
Dad: "Are you mad?", said my dad.
Dea dea: "No sir!,", I said to him.
Dad: "Then why are you asking for all those things?", he asked me.
Dea dea: "I want to use them for something", I said to him.
Dad: "Dea dea, you have started with those your stupid tricks again right?", he asked.
Dad: "See let me warn you, if you try anything stupid, I will kill you with my hands", he said looking deep into my eyes as he pointed at me.
Dea dea: "Dad, I'm a changed person now, I have stopped all that", i said giving him a fake grin.
Dad: "It better be true", he said.
Dad: "I gave Anita some money to give you for the clothes", he said.
Dea dea: "How much dad?", I asked.
Dad: "3000", he said.
Dea dea: "[Smiling] Thanks dad", I said happily.
Dad: "I would be back this evening, so take care of Anita, remember your mum travelled with Veron, Sonie and Hassan went to see your aunt", he said to me.
Dea dea: "But dad, it should be Anita that should take care of me, not the other way around", I said to my dad.
Dad: "Shut up, don't you know you're the man, or are you now a lady?", he asked me as he moved out.
Dea dea: "[talks in a low tone] Yes dad I'm a man, I mean your wife", I said.
Dad: "Did you just call my wife?", he asked me standing close to the door.
Dea dea: "Jesus, the wizard heard it," I said in my mind.
Dea dea: "No oo, what I said was that your wife will miss you", I said giving a fake smile.
Dad: "Dea dea take your time", he said
Dad: "By the way, i would be back by 5pm", he said as he moved out.
Dea: "ok dad", I said.
......FEW MINUTES LATER.....
Dea dea: "Dad said he gave you money to give me", I said to Anita.
Anita: "Yes any problem?", she asked me.
Dea dea: "No problem, I just want to collect my money that's all", I said to her.
Anita: "Why?", she asked.
Dea dea: "Because I wanna buy a brain in the market", I replied her.
Anita: "You better buy the brain because you seriously need it", she said to me.
Anita: "Here take it", she said giving me the money.
Dea dea: "Ah ahn, what is this?", I said.
Anita: " It's money or have your brain expired?", she asked.
Dea dea: "Dad said he gave you 3000 to give me", I said to her.
Anita: "I don't know what you're saying, all I know is that, that's the money dad gave me to give you", she said.
Dea dea: "Oh, I don't like this o", I said unhappily.
Anita: "What!, I will slap you, c'mon get out of my sight!", she said as she pushed me away.
Dea dea: "You're pushing me abi?", I asked smiling wickedly.
Dea dea: "No problem, so dad gave you only 1000 to give me, no problem", I said.
Anita: "Please please, go away from my sight", she said.
Dea dea: "I will so show you today ehn", I said within myself, smiling out loud.
Dea dea: "Ok, thank you", I said as I put the money in my back pocket and went to the market to buy things --you know the type of things na RIP SIS --.
.......BY 4:30......
Dea dea: "Dad will soon be back and that small girl is sleeping", I said to myself.
Dea dea: "I will so show her pepper ehn, she has the mind to take out of the money dad gave me", I said to myself.
Dea dea: "Her cup has gotten to the top, she thinks she's smarter, always forcing me to wash dad's hard jeans", I said to myself.
Dea dea: "Today she will hate herself, I promise", I said.
I stood up from where I sat, then went to my room and brought out all the things I went to buy in the market.
I did some mixers, then went to meet Anita where she was sleeping.
Dea dea: "See as this idiot open mouth, you will drink pepper urine today", I said then placed a nylon filled with urine and black pepper on the hand she opened.
I brought out my tiny long plastic, then looked at the time which was now on 5pm, I then moved it around her mouth for her to think it was a rat.
In fear she threw her hand with the nylon, on her face. The nylon immediately busted.
I fell on the floor, laughing like a mad dog, while She ran blindly spitting , to the bathroom to wash off my urine mixed with pepper from her mouth, eyes and face.
When she was done, she came holding a knife. When she got inside the parlour where the incident occurred, I was on the floor with my knees, close to the front door.
Dea dea: "I'm sorry for what I did, I was only angry please forgive me", I said with a sad face.
Dea dea: "I know what I did was too much, please I want you to revenge", I said.
Dea dea: "On the table, is a nylon filled with the same yours was filled with, take it and stone it on my forehead", I said as I stood up.
She said nothing, then picked it up and smiled.
Immediately she threw it, I quickly opened the door and it landed on my dad's forehead.
I fell to the ground once more laughing knowing that my plan worked perfectly well.
Anita stood in shock to what she saw and my dad stood in confusing as the pepper urine rushed down his face, while I laughed.
Dea dea: "[Laughs] You fell for my tricks!", I said laughing aloud.
My dad on hearing that looked at me with his eyes closed because of the pepper in the urine, then shouted "DEA DEA !!!!"........ To be continue.

STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
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Miss Call [Read it]


A boy got a miss call. He went to school and asked his
teacher: “Miss why did you send me a call?”

Teacher: “I didn’t.”

Boy: “Well my phone says I got a miss call.”


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-11 10:58:55

1644 Views




What is the difference between a Key and a Panty?

Key: Insert and Open

Panty: Open and Insert!Related

Zippor: Isabella;what is wrong?
Isabella: just stay away from me(she jumped into a car)
Zippor: what is wrong with you?you barely know how to drive a car(he enter the car with her)will you stop the car
Isabella: i never did asked you to come with me;so stop telling me what to do(she cried)go on;leave me alone;everyone has left me;everyone is blaming me for their misfortune;i want to be left alone
Zippor: slow down;your speed is too much(back home)
Mercy: ma;Isabella;had drove with the car and Zippor is inside the car
Zuriel: what?
Alice: go on;call the driver to go after them before that girl do something silly(they drove after them)
Zippor: whatever is eating you up;we can still talk about it?just slow down (he try to hold the steering)
Isabella: will you stop being annoying(she pushed him and he fell from the car)no oh!(she hit the car to a tree and she collapse)
Zuriel: faster;please drive a little faster
Ada: hey;that is the car(they stop to check)
Zuriel: where is my brother?
Obed: calm down
Zuriel: i should come down?no way;where is Zippor?(he ran backward)
Ada: where are you going to?(she ran after him)
Alice: Obed;go on call your dad and Obedient;i and the driver will take Isabella: to the hospital and after that go look for Zuriel and Ada
Ada: Zuriel;stop this madness;its get late;lets go home. i am sure Zippor wasn't in the car with Isabella
Zuriel: i know my brother;he will never leave her;even if it will kill him
Ada: but we can't keep looking
Zuriel: i am not leaving without my brother(he cried)
Obed: brother stop it;lets just go home. we have been searching since four complete hours. lets just go hone
Zuriel: i am not leaving;i will stay right here
Obed: alright fine;lets call his numbers(he dialed it)
Ada: is it ringing?(he walked away)
Zuriel: no brother please wake up;i beg you wake up
Ada: is that not Zuriel's voice?(they ran towards him)oh my God
Obed: come on;lets take him to the hospital(Ada fainted) not again
Zuriel: come;lets take them to the hospital(curtain)

Mark: good news my friend;you will finally be set free and we can go home now
Joab: but how come?
Mark: your daughter
Joab: Isabella
Mark: yes;she really love you
Joab: i have hurt her deeply;when i was dying;i was hoping for just one thing that i should be given a second chance to make it up to her and she could forgive me and i also wish she visit me because this is the only time she didn't visit even when i hurt her(enter Lola)
Katherina: hey;what is wrong?
Lola: is brother and
Joab: Isabella
Lola: yes;they had an accident and brother is in a critical condition;brother is fighting between life and death
Katherina: and Isabella
Lola: they didn't say
Katherina: no oh!(she ran out and Lola follow her)
Joab: my kids;i have to go after them
Mark: hold on
Joab: they need me;especially Isabella
Mark: i know but relax,everything will be just fine
Joab: i pray so


Zeal: where is my children?
Obed: dad;take it easy
Zeal: how can i?when everything is crashing before
Melisa: is okay
Zeal: stay away from me;you provoke her right?you want her out of your life right?if anything happen to my daughter,you will see the monster in me
Melisa: i am sorry
Obed: that is enough,pull yourself together(they hugged)
Katherina: good afternoon sir;please we are looking for a patient that an accident
Obedient: Lola
Lola: Obedient;what are you doing here?
Obedient: i should be asking you that?
Lola: my brother and sister had an accident and we were told they are here
Obedient: what a coincident;we are assuredly here for similar situation. although the boy in question is not my brother but we have live together for close to a month and it seems like forever. he is really nice
Katherina: Lola;will you stop that chitchat and lets go look for Isabella and Zippor
Obedient: what?they are your sibling?
Katherina: yes;do you have a problem with that?
Obedient: what a small world?
Katherina: so you just realised that?Lola lets get out of here
Lola: relax Katherina
Obedient: anyway;Zippor is at the intensive care unit but Isabella is at ward 102
Katherina: thank you very much(they ran to her)my baby(she held her hand)
Zuriel: who are you?(Isabella open her eyes)
Isabella: Katherina;i am sorry;please forgive me;its all my fault,i wouldn't had pushed him;i did not know the door wasn't lock(she cried)
Lola: that is enough;you shouldn't be crying;you should be praying that he get well
Katherina: i am not mad at you;i am sorry for thinking that you wanted to hurt dad because he hurt you;i am sorry for pushing you away;please forgive me;i missed you
Isabella: i missed you too(they hugged)how is dad?please don't tell him what happen to(enter Joab)Zippor;it wouldn't be easy for him
Joab: why do you keep thinking about me?even when i hurt you,i don't deserve your love;i don't deserve a daughter like you and i don't deserve to be your father,i am a monster and no matter how many times i hurt you,you kept loving me;please forgive me my child;i am sorry(he cried)
Isabella: (she show him an hand band)dad;do you still remember this?
Joab: what?you still have it?(enter Zeal)
Isabella: yes;you remember i said,'as long as this is with me,even if it doesn't suite my hand any more;i will never give it up because my love for you will never die;even if the earth move to the place of ....
Joab: sky;and i promised been a father forever to you but i can't fulfilled it;i failed as a father
Isabella: you can always fulfilled that if you want to(tears roll Zeal's eyes)
Joab: that is if you allow me and forgive me
Isabella: i love you dad(she hugged him)
Joab: i love you my sweet smiling sun rise
Zuriel: you really going to forgive this man?
Lola: who are you?
Zuriel: i am Zuriel;your brother
Katherina: really?(she hugged him)i love you baby brother(tears roll his eyes)
Lola: so you are our brother?mom;is really one lucky woman;God really blessed her,no wonder she never stop purchasing male clothes every year and kept saying is for my son i will give birth to in future. not knowing she was doing it for you(she hugged him tight)
Zuriel: i love you all my sisters
Joab: son;please forgive me
Zuriel: i can't(exit Zuriel)
Joab: son
Zeal: don't worry;he will come around;just give him time
Joab: thanks;i am sorry for hurting you and for making your daughter go through pains,i am sorry;its okay if you get mad at me;i deserve it
Zeal: i really do not have to hurt you or add to your pains;its enough punishment that your two sons are mad at you and i shouldn't be mad at you because of you,i have the opportunity to have a son,who had brought me nothing but joy and a daughter i didn't know how she grow up but have a heart of gold;all thanks to you. so we are good
Joab: oh thank you;i see where Isabella got that from;is from you
Zeal: is nothing;Isabella;will be discharge tomorrow(he turn to leave)
Isabella: dad(she hugged him at the back)i am happy that today even when i did something wrong;no one is yelling at me and i realised how much you love me. that is why i will never close my heart and eyes to the fact and stop deceiving myself because i really do love you and i am grateful that you are my dad
Zeal: i love you too(they both hugged)
Obed: dad;Zippor had been brought to the ward
Zeal: that means we can see him now?
Obed: of cause;Obedient;Ma Melisa;Zuriel and Mother are there already
Lola: lets go then(at the room)brother;i am glad you are up
Zippor: i am sorry Lola;sorry that i haven't been a good big brother to you,sorry i couldn't show you how much i love you
Lola: without you saying it;i know you love me and i understand you have to take good care of my baby sister and because of you we felt we have a dad;when dad is not there
Zippor: you are always acting like a big girl;that is what i admired about you
Lola: that is what i got from you;i always look up to you and draw my encouragement
Zippor: oh my sweet sister and where is that naught girl Katherina
Katherina: me naught?
Zippor: of cause;among the four of us;you are the most emotional and soft one
Katherina: yes;and you and Isabella are the tough ones but i don't know if Zuriel is also
LOLA: and i wonder where she got that from?
Katherina: from this dude of cause
Zippor: talking about that little stubborn girl;where is she?
Zuriel: she is outside
Zippor: why?
Zuriel: maybe;she scared of you;yelling at her
Zippor: that is bullshit;Isabella(he screamed)
Isabella: did you call my name?
Zippor: why would i call you?
Isabella: um...
Zippor: will you come here;come sit beside me
Isabella: thanks;i just thought you wouldn't want to see me
Zippor: don't be ridiculous;i can't never do that to you;even if we quarrel;i can't stay mad at you for that long;if i do is like my air stop;so how would i survive?(she laughed and hugged him)and please no matter what happen,don't ever feel that way
Isabella: Zippor;someone is here to see you and promise me;you would not yelled at him
Zippor: don't be ridiculous;just go and bring the person;come on Zuriel;sit beside your brother
Zuriel: thank you(he sat on the bed)
Zippor: what are you doing here?
Joab: son;i beg you,please forgive me
Zippor: i should forgive you?why should i?i stop wishing when i wasn't up to eighteen;talk more now that i am twenty,i am too old to be looking for fatherly love
Joab: i know i can't make it up to you but please let me start anew. i beg you
Zippor: i don't need all that;all i want is for our family to be hold again and for you to take care of my sisters
Isabella: you don't have to worry about that because we are hold again
Zippor: that is good;at least i feel more relief;now that my family are coming together;Zuriel
Zuriel: yes;brother
Zippor: please take good care of Isabella;i know you love her deeply;which make me happy that she will be in a good hand;when i am no longer here
Zuriel: what are you saying?
Zippor: why do i have so many naught sibling?just keep quiet and let me finish
Zuriel: alright boss
Zippor: promise me you wouldn't hurt her
Zuriel: i promise
Zippor: (he pull Zeal hand and Joab)i am glad that my baby have two lovely dad who will protect her;when i am gone
Katherina: will you stop;this is the second time you are saying this rubbish
Zippor: just stay cool(blood pour from his nose)
Isabella: you are bleeding
Zippor: is nothing(he pull Melisa's hand and place it on Isabella)please take...(he convulsion)
Isabella: brother;pleases wake up;please call the doctor
Melisa: Isabella my child
Isabella: i am not your child and i can never be your child;let me warned you;if ever my brother did not wake up;i will never forgive you(she cried and ran out)
Joab: son;please wake up;i beg you;wake up
Doctor: everyone get out;the patient need help;nurse go on;get the patient ready for the intensive care unit
Alice: that is enough(she touch her)
Melisa: will you let go of me. you are happy right?its all your fault so don't act like you care
Alice: i can't tell you i care,even if i do;you wouldn't believe me
Melisa: so just shove it down your throat(she stood up)
Alice: what happen to us?
Melisa: i should be the one asking you that?
Alice: we used to be best friends;can't we just go back to when we used to be friends
Melisa: we can never be friends because my friend will never get married to my husband and deprive me of my child and because i wanted to save my daughter;i pushed her away all for the sake of protecting her from those assassins which you sent and keep hurting her because i don't want to loss my son
Alice: i agreed i cause it all but please forgive me;all i wish for;is for everything to go back to normal
Melisa: no;it can't,just as the nails you drill in a wall that cause holes on that same wall;that can not remain same when the nails are been remove,that is the pains you cause me,even if you apologies a thousand and one times...
Alice: i know,even if i have to walk on broken bottles or apologies for a thousand and one times;it wouldn't change the pains i cause you;it hurt deeply;i am sorry. you remembered....
Melisa: i don't want to remember anything;didn't i tell you?
Alice: i know but listen to me
Melisa: i don't want to
Alice: mom;never stop comparing the both of us but then i could take it because i wasn't that selfish;until your engagement night,you told me,i was too ugly to get attracted to a man;when i said,'when will i get married'
Melisa: but i apologies to you right?
Alice: you hurt my feelings;you rubbed it on my face and Lissy laughed very laud,i was hurt and when your father in law said,'i should get married to your husband;when you are unable to give birth;i didn't think twice before accepting and when i find out if you give birth to a girl;she will become the heiress;i planned to kill her. i was angry
Melisa: i am sorry;i was thinking is just our normal way of teasing each other
Alice: yes;but it would had been better;if you didn't say it in front of that girl and maybe;that it was wrong timing;anyway;it seems God is repaying me for all the wrong i have done to hurt you. that is why my kids are nothing to write home about(she touch her hand)i am...
Melisa: that is enough(she gave her their friendship band)you remembered whenever;i get mad at you,you will always give me this(Alice laughed)and you will say...
Alice: come on;small big girl(laughing continued)let's just kiss and make up. i am sorry;please...
Melisa: i am sorry too;please forgive me(they hugged)i am sorry;i just hope my daughter;can forgive me
Alice: i know she will forgive you because you and her have a good heart
Melisa: i pray so
Alice: i know she will(she hugged her tight)
Melisa: hey;what are you doing?you want to suffocate me?
Alice: not at all;i really missed you
Melisa: crazy thing(she kissed her)we are good now;come here lets check on Zippor
Alice: alright sweetie


Isabella: hey you don't just stand there(to obed)
Obed: i am sorry for hurting you
Isabella: is alright;we are still siblings
Obed: i still want to apologies
Isabella: is alright;the deal had already been done;it just hurt so bad that in all my miserable life;my brother had to be dragged to it
Obed: you don't have to worry yourself to death because i know your brother will be fine
Isabella: i just hope so
Obed: our prayer will keep him save(enter Alice) mother;do you need anything
Alice: no;i want to talk to her
Obed: alright;i will leave you two;bye sister
Isabella: bye....brother(she hugged him)i forgive you brother
Obed: thank you sister(exit Obed)
Alice: thank you;i also want to apologies to you
Isabella: you don't have to;i forgive you when i saw you hugged my brother and when i saw it was you who took me to the hospital i felt i have a mother again,so don't as for something that you already have
Alice: really
Obedient: dad
Zeal: what is it?
Obedient: will you stay mad at me forever?i am sorry
Zeal: i though you were different?
Obedient: i know i failed you but please forgive me
Obed: forgive us;you will always forgive us when we were kids
Zeal: you are no longer kids(back to Isabella)
Isabella: of cause
Alice: if you forgive me can you also forgive....
Isabella: never....(enter Melisa)what is she doing here?
Alice: if your brother was to wake up what is the one thing he asked you to always do
Isabella: find a place in your heart to forgive because forgiveness is what we give to ourselves and not to others
Alice: then give one to yourself
Isabella: i can't(Melisa knee before her)(back to Zuriel)

Zuriel: here you can have it(he gave handkerchief to Joab)
Joab: thank you;
Zuriel: do you love him or you are just crying to fulfilled all righteousness?
Joab: i may not know how to express my love;i maybe selfish but at one point in my life i feel remorse over what i do;but back then i just was unable to admitted it but now i am ready to make it up to my son;but it seems is too late. i hate my son;i treated him like a man when he is still a baby(he cried)i am such a bad father(he wanted to touch him;withdrew his hand)
Zuriel: if i were you;i will stop crying and start praying for my son(he turned to leave)
Joab: son
Zuriel: please don't call me that because i am not your...(he pause)
Joab: please forgive
Zuriel: i can't
Katherina: (he held his hand)do this for brother;who is always fighting to bring us together
Lola: yes;grant him this wish and make him proud
Zuriel: but...(back to Isabella)
Isabella: please;don't knee before me. i am not God that forgive
Alice: we know;its only right that when you hurt someone you beg for forgiveness(she also knee)please(back to Obedient)
Obedient: dad;please
Obed: please(they both knee)
Zeal: that is enough I forgive you but please don't do it again
Obed: we promise(they hugged)
Zeal: lets go and check on him
Obedient: shall we(curtain)

Joab: son please(he walked away)i beg you,please(he came back and held his hand)
Zuriel: dad(they both hugged)i love you father
Joab: i love you too
Lola: thanks goodness;lets go see Zippor
Katherina: shall we(back to Isabella)
Isabella: both of you should stand up;i will definitely forgive you and call you mother but when Zippor wakes up(enter Doctor)doctor how is my brother?
Doctor: will are sorry we did everything possible but....
Isabella: no oh;that is not true mother(she hugged and faint on Melisa)




READ THE FINAL EPISODE


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Wisdom and deep intelligence require an honest appreciation of mystery.

~ Thomas MooreRelated

Akpos enters police station and find the officer in charge.


Akpos.Hey am here
Officer.Eeh your here for what?
Akpos.for the job of-cause

Officer.what job are u talking about?
Akpos.helloooooooo the job u advertised on news paper
Man Wanted For Rape.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-18 10:17:57

999 Views




Miranda:according to milly he wants them to be friends
Presley:did she accept?
Miranda:she wanted to before cassey, Brendan’s girlfriend threatened her
Presley:great!!
Miranda:why that happiness?
Presley:because Preston is actually interested in her
Miranda: please stop that. That’s the reason I am like this. You guys should take your triangle love somewhere else o. I am here to learn not to be used as a bait.
Presley: (coming close to her) don’t worry I will protect you.
Miranda:how? You couldn’t protect yourself from the B.B and that was the reason you joined the P.P
Presley:yeah that’s right that’s the reason I am tell you I will protect you
Miranda:you want to also make me a cultist?
Presleyf course not I am simply saying you should come stay with with me in the P.P house that way I can protect you
Miranda:wow sounds great. I like it but you will s-x me till I die
Presleylaughing)of course not. We will do it, but not all the time
Miranda:must you do it at all?
Presley:yeah definitely
Miranda:what about milly? Belinda will kill her
Presley: don’t worry if she agrees to come then she can come
Mirandakay I like that much better. I will pack my things right away
Presley: by the way where is Milly? Its 11:12am and she left since 9am
Miranda:don’t worry I am sure she will be back soon.(now heading to the bathroom to take her bath Preston followed her)
To be continued..


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Calmness and tolerance act like air-conditioning in a room… they increase a person’s efficiency.Have a very good day!Related

Eva stepped out of her room at a few minutes
to eight. She looked very pretty and sweet. She
wore a short red flowered gown which stopped
just above her knees. Below that was a tight
ash colored jegins which accentuated her hips
and brought out her bum. She looked good.
She walked into the sitting room and went left
towards the dinning. Shina was already seated
and he beckoned her to come and sit beside
her. There were two other men with stern
looking faces. She sat at the table and joined
the others as they waited for Sophia to arrive.
She came in at exactly 8am, looking fresh as
usual. She wore a pink silk shirt with stopped
just after her elbows. She was in a blue bum
short jean. Her ars3 was out of this world. Eva
found herself staring at Sophia’s hips all the
way from the door to the dining table. Sophia
got to her chair and Shina immediately got
up. The other two guys got up too. Eva joined
them. They waited for Sophia to sit first, after
which the rest followed suit. Each person had
his favorite meal already prepared and covered
in front of him. Sophia said a very short prayer
and opened the cover to her plate. Every other
person did the same. Eva concluded that they
all had to do what Sophia did. Eva was
amazed at what she had in front of her. She
had indomie in her plate. Not just any kind of
indomie but her favorite kind. It was
garnished with diced carrots, green pepper,
prawns and best of all two huge snails. She
looked at Shina with a wide smile on her face.
Shina nodded back at her as if to say “We
know EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU DEAR”. Sophia
had a small grin on her face too.
“Let’s eat” Sophia commanded. Eva could not
wait.
Colonel Giwa Haruna got out of his house and
walked to his garage. He had previously given
his driver a key and asked him to wash the
red Murano jeep, informing him that he should
get ready to drive him to Lagos. He was ready
in record time wearing a body hugging black
t-shirt and white loafers. He added a brown
‘kangor’ cap to the mix and was ready to go.
His driver started the ignition as the Colonel
approached the car. He got into the back
seat.
“Let’s go” He ordered his driver.
As the driver shifted the gear to reverse and
began to move the car, the colonel stopped
him.
“Stop the car James.” He said.
James stopped.
“Drive back into the garage.” The colonel
commanded. James obeyed.
When James was back in the garage the
Colonel opened the door and got out of the
jeep. He went inside the house, without saying
a word to James. In ten minutes he was out.
He had changed his clothes. He was now
wearing a pure white linen attire, with
matching trousers. He still retained his
‘kangor’ cap and loafers. He had a key in
hand. He walked to another car, a black 2003
Honda Accord and opened the door.
“I changed my mind. I will drive myself. You
can take the rest of the day off. I will call you
when I get back.” He said to a bewildered
James.
“Okay sir. Thank you sir.” was all James could
say.
James watched his ‘Oga’ drive out of the villa
and into the dirt road that led out of the
premises.
He picked his phone, pressed and held 0 on
his phone.
“He decided to drive himself. I had planted the
tracker in the car he asked me to wash. He is
currently driving a black Honda Accord with
plates AA106SMK. It is a very ordinary and
plain car. His rims are alloy and gold plated.
He just left.” James said to the mouthpiece.
“Where is he likely to pass through? Challenge
or Sango?” Tawo asked.
“Sir, I cannot really say. His actions this
morning took me completely unawares.”
James said.
“Ok Agent James. Keep this up.” Tawo said
and hung up.
Tawo had been waiting a long time to take
out the Colonel. Tawo hated him because he
was the only one whom he could not figure
out. The Colonel was the General’s ward in
military school and loved him like a younger
brother. That was the only reason he was still
alive. Moreover, the Colonel had done The
Ghost Corporation a huge favor by taking
down a huge rival, The Marine Mafia and Drug
Cartel. The Cartel was loud and everywhere
and raking up the profits. They blocked
business for The Ghosts Corporation who
preferred to operate in the shadows. The
General’s gift to the Colonel for his effort was
his life. However, the General made sure that
the Colonel was being watched at close range.
They had place over fifteen different agents
around him in the past three years. Cooks,
drivers, fiancées, hookers, personal assistants,
and even family. They knew where he lived.
They knew when he had facial reconstruction.
They knew everything about him. It was their
job to know. Just in case a day like this came.
And that day had finally arrived. Tawo was so
happy his father, the General had entrusted
him with this operation. He had also warned
him in clear terms.
“DO NOT ENGAGE TARGET.”
Tawo was a very patient agent. He had a
strong feeling that a day would come when he
would finally conquer a worthy opponent.
Even though he could not still do anything
now, he was happy that the Colonel was
finally making a move. A very silly move. He
had initiated and planned the ‘scare’ at
Ahmed’s residence hoping that Ahmed would
contact his beloved Uncle. All was going
according to plan.
He went into his control room. There were
three touch screen plasma monitors on the
wall. Two trusted agents sat adjacent each
other decrypting codes and aligning
coordinates on keyboards connected
wirelessly.
‘Where are we?’ Tawo asked.
“We are currently monitoring the status of Iwo
Road and Ring Road. We are watching other
major areas Challenge, Sango and Apete. All
lights are green at the moment sir.” One of the
agents said.
“The situation is dicey sir. He is driving a very
common car and he is going to be hard to
pick out.” The second agent said, zooming in
on the images on the large screen.
“Which satellite are you connected to?” Tawo
asked looking closely at the screen.
“The Saturn-U134 sir.” The agent replied.
“Not good enough Ope. Merge the connection
between Saturn –U134 and Mecury-00A.”
Tawo said.
The agent did as instructed.
“Now, bridge them and merge their
transitions. Use the WSPTA protocol to rewrite
the imagery and log into all CCTVs, mobile
phone and every fuccking device that has a
lens and is in proximity. Launch a new
search.” Tawo commanded.
He watched intently as the agent obeyed his
command, moving his hands on the keyboard
in light speed and writing codes. After a few
minutes a new clearer map appeared on the
screen, different lines and route lined up the
screen. Tawo nodded.
“Parameters sir.” The agent asked.
“Begin Ibadan, End Lagos. Data ID: Number
plates. Content: AA106SMK. Database:
Vehicle Registration. Unique Search: Plate
Numbers.” Tawo spelled out.
Ope entered all the details swiftly and a red
button flickered atop the screen. A search
sequence was initiated and the screen began
to change in milliseconds. Images and images
flashed on one section of the screen while the
other screen had a small dot running around
in all directions on the map.
“Now all we have to do is wait.” Tawo said.
Thirty minutes later, the screen stopped
moving with a large rectangular box showing
a message: “MATCH FOUND”
“We have got a hit sir.” Ope announced,
hitting a key on the keyboard.
Tawo rolled his swivel chair beside agent Ope
and watched as a green dot was moving
slowly in the map.
“Zoom in on that.” Tawo ordered.
Ope zoomed in and they got the location of
the Colonel.
Tawo called Shina.
“The Colonel is about to pass through Mowe.
Set up your guys at the MFM area. This
should be as easy as taking a pee.” Tawo
said.
Shina hung up.
45 minutes later a black OPMESA patrol Van
was parked across the Lagos – Ibadan
express way on the route coming into Lagos.
The 3-lane road was now reduced to one as
men in military uniforms were stopping and
checking cars. Shina did not get down from
the Van but had given directions for the plate
number they needed. After a while the army
officer doing the search radioed Shina that
they had the car in view. Three cars away.
Shina was excited.
“Make sure he parks and do as instructed.”
Shina radioed back.
They motioned the black Honda Accord to
stop. They directed it to pull over just behind
the patrol van.
The man knocked on the door.
“Can you roll down your mirror?” The man
asked.
The mirror rolled down.
A young lad who looked like he was in his
early twenties was at the wheel.
The Colonel was nowhere in the car.
To be continued…

>>

Officer: "Madam, swimming is prohibited in this lake."

Lady: "Why didn't you tell me when I was removing my clothes?"

Officer: "Well, that's not prohibited."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-20 14:08:14

586 Views




Pappu: This new teacher really confuses me. She should better make up her mind before passing any instructions.


Bunty: What did she say?


Pappu: First she’s telling me to be myself, and then she’s telling me to stop being an idiot.Related

question time [Read it]


u sit on a seat.and look up and see 4 people standing.(1)a woman carrying baby.(2).an elderly woman of about 85 years.(3).a young man standing with d help of crushes with bandages all over his body.(4).an elderly man that is very sick and hungry.
And u av 2 stand up 4 one person which one are u going 2 stand up for?.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-20 18:19:54

603 Views



Full Bed Bath [Read it]


The nursing student, on her first rotation in the ICU, had to give a patient a full bed bath. She had never given one before and was terribly nervous about it.To make matters worse, the patient was a gentleman in his late sixties who had been admitted after a heart attack. As se nervously set her equipment up, she confessed to the patient that she had never given a full bed bath before.“I’ll tell you what,” he said, “how about if you wash as far down as possible, and as far up as possible, and then I’ll wash possible?”Related

check out this picture








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-24 07:36:36

765 Views




"David!" Angela
screamed, holding her cheeks with both palms. Hot
tears
spontaneously rolled down from her eyes. She ran out
immediately. She just couldn't stand the sight.
Sonia quickly jumped down from the bed.She felt something leave her body.She felt that force which invaded her disappear immediately.Her heart was beating fast.She was totally scared,not knowing what to do next.
David just
took it as if nothing happened.

"What is it. come back to bed
please"David said.

Sonia let out an inaudible hiss,her head spinning.Escape was the only thing on her mind and here's this man telling him to come back to bed with him.Maybe something's wrong with him,she thought as she ran her fingers across her hair in total disarray

"Do you want your wife to kill me? Didn't
you see her?"she asked
reaching for her clothes.With a little less than the speed of light,she grabbed them and fled into her room,gathered few clothes into her bag with the little time she had left.She was ready to accept whatever she gets.Her world had always been an illusion.Life had never seen her as anything more than an outcast.
She reached for her phone,peered at the screen swiftly and glanced at it again.
Fourteen missed calls from her mum.
She dialled her number straightaway.It was ringing but after each ringing,a female voice would tell her that the subscriber was not responding but she could send her a mini call for an amount which she didn't care to hear.She hated hearing that.She hated it whenever somebody's phone whom she called,rings without the person answering it.

"Whatever it is mom,you will see me soon"She told herself,zipping the bag she had roughly packed few of her clothes into.She knew she would soon be a wanted person.Wanted by the police;because she believed Ebere wouldn't let her be after all the damage she has inflicted on people already.Wanted by Angela,the lady who once told her she could kill anyone whom she catches with her dear husband.

"It would have been better if the law caught up with me earlier.I wouldn't have gone through all these.Where do i run to? What do i do with myself?"Sonia felt her heart tearing and breaking apart under the pain she felt inside.
Angela must never meet her there,she had to move fast,to face her destiny



Angela was sobbing and shedding tears in the parlour.She
couldn't believe her beloved
husband could betray her.She
wept bitterly.She wondered for
how long they must have been
doing this in her back.Sonia? Whom she trusted so much and took like a sister?
Something told her she was the cause of it all,for bringing her in the first place.She waved it off.

Angela bursted into fresh
tears.She lifted her head and saw David standing before here with hands in the pocket.
'Gosh,he still had no shame to show his disgusting face'She thought.
Out of anger and
frustration,she grabbed the chair pillow and threw it at him.
"Get out! leave! I hate you!"she
yelled.David left and came again back almost immediately.He stood there without uttering any word.
This got Angela more flabbergasted than anyone can imagine.
He could have atleast said something;some meaningless crap because he was supposed to say something instead of standing there and moping at her.

She stood up moving towards
him with an unnameable look in her eyes.

"You disgust me.I'm disappointed in you.how
could you stoop so low.I
trusted you so much.This proves that you have been
running around other
women.you haven't been a
faithful husband.You disgust
me"she said and stormed out
of the room,leaving David there like an undecided ghost.

She expected her parents to show up any moment from then.She had called them earlier telling them to come over.They inquired from her what the problem was but with her crying voice she told them to come over immediately.

With the anger boiling and swelling up in her,she searched for Sonia;not knowing what to actually do with her until she finds her.....

Sonia clutched the hand of her bag,the same bag she had come with few months ago and made her way through the back door.She couldnt bear those eyes of Angela looking murderously at her,knowing she did something that deserved more than such a stare.

Coming out from the backyard,She saw her mother sauntering into the compound.She could see the 'okada man' reversing his motorcycle.

"Sonia.Sonia.We are leaving immediately.No questions.I will tell you why,later"Her mother said,seeing the bag in her hand.She already packed.'Whats happening?' she wondered.

"Why mom.why? Dont you want me to stay again,to bring you huge money? Aren't you happy with that anymore?"She let down the heavy tears from her ears.

"I am sorry my daughter.I have truly hurt you in every way.I have really done you enough harm"There was sorrow in her voice.She drew Sonia close and embraced her.Something she couldn't remember the last time she did.This time,all of a sudden,she could feel Sonia's pain.She could feel her heartbeat thuddering beneath her chest.She needed no one to tell her she was the architect of the poor girl's plight.

"Sonia!"Angela's harsh and aggravated tone separated them.

"Oh i see,you both have succeeded,"Angela increased her steps towards them,"how could you"She landed a hot resounding slap on Sonia.The kind of slap that comes with stars and dizziness.Angela lost control and pounced on her.She went wacko at that moment,tearing and pulling at the poor girl whose mother she pushed aside when she tried to stop her.

"You will kill her o.and you will surely regret it if you do"Sonia's mother said,trying to get up from where she fell.Her kneels ached as a result of the fall.She could feel the hurting pain of the arthritis and rheumatism which was part of what she had been suffering for years.
Angela landed several kicks on Sonia's belly with her kneel.Sonia screamed painfully with all her might.

"Ahh my tommy.Jesus...my tom......"her voice trailed off.
Blood was seen traling down her legs.
Angela got up from her to get a better view of what she was seeing,which was just playing like a movie before her
Sonia continued bleeding.
The pregnancy was gone!
Gone in the twinkle of an eye.

>>


A Man and a woman visited a hotel, they wanted to lodge but the manager refused them to stay together because it's against their rules for a man and woman to stay together. The woman said, sir this man here is my son. The man interrupted her saying "yes yes, she's my mother"
The manager allowed them to be together but he instructed AKPORS secretly to check on them after some few hours. After 2 hours, Akpors reported to the manager saying " SIR, truly she's the mother of that man". The manager asked him how did he know about that? Akpors replied him " I PEEP through the door and i saw her breast feeding him"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-31 16:35:33

466 Views





1. Using the same tooth brush with your guy. It is not
hygienic at all. One tooth brush is for one person. Have
your own tooth brush and let him have his own. That
doesnt mean that you dont love him.
2. Moving all your loads into the house of a guy who has
not officially married you and living with him.
(Cohabiting) This is foolishness. You are a cheap slot.
You dont know your worth. The guy will treat you like a
piece of rubbish.
3. Having many abortions. Why should you destroy your
womb because of a guy that may not marry you? Dont
be a coward because of love.
4. Giving birth to children for a guy who has not married
you. It is a senseless act. It doesnt make you a
reasonable person.
5. Disobeying your parents because of your boyfriend.
This is foolishness. If your boyfriend dumps you, where
will you run to? Use your head please.
6. You and your boyfriend put on the same type of
clothes; then both of you snapped a picture together,
then you use the picture as your profile picture on
Facebook. This is also foolishness.
7. Using your boyfriend's picture as a profile picture is
wrong. Boyfriend is not a husband o.
8. Carrying the pregnancy of a guy who is not your
husband. It is very disgusting and shameful.
9. Missing your lectures at school and going to a guy's
house. Hmm. You need deliverance o.
10. Abandoning your family and your house and running
away with your boyfriend. It is very wrong. You are too
cheap.
If you are practising any of these things, you are
advised to stop it. Love is not foolishness. Apply wisdom
when you fall in love. Use your brain. Control your
emotions and feelings. Do not allow love to make you
do stupid things. You will regret it later in life. Be wise.
Love is not an excuse for being foolish.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-10 23:10:04

382 Views



DRUNK AKPORS [Read it]


Akpors was driving home drunk and late one night after spending most of his evening in a bar.He suddenly realized his car front lights were no longer working so he decided to start driving on the road at the back of a car whose front lights were working perfectly and he felt he could get off the main road safely by tailing the car.Akpors’ plan was going smoothly in his mind when all of a sudden the car in front stopped moving.Akpors waited for close to 10 minutes in his car but the car in front didn’t move.Akpors shouted; Why did you stop, come on, keep driving.The man in the car shouted back; You must be mad and drunk, you have been following me since and I was afraid to come down thinking you were an assassin; should I keep driving even after I have entered my own garage






NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-15 16:35:16

939 Views



Elasticity [Read it]


In a Physics class...


TEACHER: Our topic for today is Elasticity. Who among you can define Elasticity?                                                                                        


KWAME: It occurs when a material regain it's original shape and size after it has been stretched.                                                                             


TEACHER: Excellent! Who can give me an example of a material that undergoes this process?                                                                                 


AKPOS: A Penis!         


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-13 10:42:04

424 Views




Zindgi Ne Diye Bahot Se Dhoke;

Gor Farmaye

Zindgi Ne Diye Bahot Se Dhoke;

But it’s OK, it’s OK, it’s OK!Related

Wrong Partner [Read it]


A woman who was wearing her ring on the wrong finger was asked, "Look, you are putting on your wedding ring wrongly"."I know", she responded,"it's becus I married the wrong partner"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-19 18:34:51

427 Views




When ur life is in darkness pray 2 God ask him 2 free u 4rm darkness &
after if u pray &ur still in darkness
, pls pay ur
ELECTRICITY BILL


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-01 06:29:48

340 Views




An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate.


The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result.


“This guy must have screwed up the settings,” the off-duty officer thought.


A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets-each for not wearing a seat belt.Related

Well, a girlfriend once told me never to fight with anybody you don’t love.

-Jack NicholsonRelated

» Man utd fans » 2004 » Mourinho is a fool.
» Man utd fans » 2005 » Mourinho is a talkative.
» Man utd fans » 2006 » Mourinho is a bastard.
» Man utd fans » 2007 » Mourinho is a destroyer.
» Man utd fans » 2008 » Mourinho is a confused man.
» Man utd fans » 2009 » Mourinho is an idiot.
» Man utd fans » 2010 » Mourinho is a bus parker.
» Man utd fans » 2011 » Mourinho is irresponsible.
» Man utd fans » 2012 » Mourinho is arrogant.
» Man utd fans » 2013 » Mourinho is a career killer.
» Man utd fans » 2014 » Mourinho is frustrated.
» Man utd fans » 2015 » Mourinho is an imbecile.
» Man utd fans » January 2016 » Mourinho is a loser.
» Man utd fans » May 2016 » Mourinho is the best coach in the world.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
I enjoy watching dogs go back to their vomit.

Lolzzz.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-30 21:03:50

417 Views




A man wanted to travel before valentine’s day,
and he called his wife into the room to tell her.
Here’s what transpired:
Husband:Sweetheart, I am going for 3 days
church conference starting Feb 14.
Wife:OK.But before you leave,let’s commit your
Journey into the hands of God in prayer.
Husband:Lead us in prayer then.
Wifeear God, please grant my husband journey
mercies as he embarks on this journey.
Husband:Very loud “Ameeeeeeeen!”
Wife: Don’t let his manhood stand erect if he
tries to commit adultery.
Husband:Silence
Wifeon’t let him return safely if he manages to
have extramarital affairs with other ladies.
Husband:Sweating profusely.
Wife:In fact, Holy father kill him if he commits
adultry……………
Husband: Ohhhhhh! Shut up. It’s OK, I am not
going anymore because The holy spirit just told
me that the conference has been cancelled.
One word for this man’s wife?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-04 10:22:45

667 Views



big butt [Read it]


A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your
butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ
grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes
some advances towards his wife who completely
brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She
answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up
this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-05 22:58:24

633 Views




MY RIGHTS
STORY BY DINDY
Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story.
THIS STORY IS A ONE EPISODE STORY.
CAUTION; THIS STORY WILL MAKE YOU FEEL PAIN/SORROW/ANGER AND MIGHT MAKE YOU CRY DEPENDING ON HOW STRONG OR SOFT YOUR HEART IS.
Thanks for reading
....STORY BEGINS....
:......
Falling for the stand of another person, drilled in unforgettable misfortune and total demies on the road of darkness. Days gradually turning to series of night torture, months tears and pain.
There I stood looking at the judge right in the middle of the court room, waiting for my case to be finalised, waiting for nothing more than punishment and injustice.
How did I get to this certain point? How did I lead myself to this?. Was I wrong by speaking out? Was my good deed a bad thing?.
Why did no one believe me?. Now I'm here and all that awaits me are the years behind the iron rod with punishment unmerited.
:.....
......FLASH BACK 3MONTHS AGO......
:.....
Three months ago, Johnson a handsome young man in his early twenties had a normal life. He had no one in his life, no dad, mum, brother, sister, relatives or friends. He didn't even have a girl to call his Girlfriend or fiancée or wife. He was a lone walker.
He lived for himself alone and life was good for him. He never begged for anything. He got anything he wanted because he worked hard and got paid for his works.
Due to the way he lived his life, no one in the village could say bad things about him. What they knew him for was his humble, gentle, hardworking and trustworthy way of life.
His life was going well for him until one day when he was called by one of the rich men in the village, to clear a land which he (the rich man) wanted to use to build a house.
Johnson agreed to it without hesitating. Johnson was to clear the land 3 days after they had spoken but Johnson decided to go do the job a day later because the man had already paid him double the price they agreed, and he saw no reason why he shouldn't do the job before time.
He wake up as early as he could (by 4:00 am) to go to the land which was far a walk from where he lived. He took up his cutlass and axe, then set off for his journey.
After 30mins of walking, he got close to the land. As he got more closer to the land, he heard a voice screaming. He paused and held his cutlass firmly and then continued walking (slowly).
The more closer he got to the land, the more the scream got louder. When he finally got to the land he looked from a distance to see what was going on.
At first he couldn't see a thing because things were not yet visible enough, so he walked closer quietly to the direction where the scream came from.
As he walked closer and closer to where the scream came from, he started seeing things little by little. Although his view was not clear enough, he could see two naked bodies.
One had the body of a little boy while the other had the body of an old man with big belly.
The little boy had his hands tied on two separate trees on both sides, with his body bending forward (from his waist upwards) and his legs spread apart. The old man held the little boy on his shoulders and was making his way (very hard) through the little boy's butt.
Johnson on seeing the event couldn't believe what he saw, so in confusion and disbelief he jumped out of the bushes where he had seen the unthinkable event and shouted
:...
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!!".
:....
The old man who was having his way (very hard) into the little boy quickly looked at the direction Johnson spoke from. His eyes and that of Johnson's met.
Johnson was shocked and surprised to see the face of who he was actually seeing at that moment. In fear the old man quickly pulled out of the little boy and ran away packing his clothes where he had dropped them.
Johnson stood confused and shocked of what he had seen. His mind couldn't comprehend the intense picture video his eyes recorded.
He got himself back and he quickly dropped his cutlass and axe, then rushed to help the little boy who was now very weak and could not produce a tear droplet out of his eyes.
Johnson quickly loosen the red clothes which was used to tie the little boy's hand on separate trees. The little boy was about falling to the ground as Johnson untied the second red clothe, but Johnson was quick enough to catch him before he fell.
Johnson then carried the little boy who was now loosing his breath little by little and ran to the nearest village hospital leaving the boy's wears there. The little boy was in pain and had injuries on some parts of his body due to the things the old man did to him.
Johnson on the other hand was still having a heartache, about of what he saw. His head felt heavy and he felt cold inside him.
Finally he got to the hospital, but it was too late because the little boy had died right at the entrance of the hospital.
Johnson couldn't do anything about it, but he was asked series of questions by a doctor who later called the police because he could not believe what Johnson said to him, and the person Johnson told him was responsible for it.
Three police officers came 2 hours after the doctor called. They met with Johnson and asked him series of questions. Johnson being a good guy answered them truthfully but unknown to him, he was gradually digging his end.
The police officers then told Johnson to take them to the crime scene, for them to see whether what he said was true or false.
The sun had already spread out its light, giving morning to every living and non living thing.
When the police officers and Johnson got to the crime scene, they saw the two trees but there were no red clothes nor the little boy's clothes there. All they saw was Johnson's cutlass and axe which he had left there, and it was stained with blood.
One of the police officers looked at Johnson and asked him who owned the cutlass and axe. Johnson told them he was the one, but he tried to explain to them that the old man might had rubbed blood on his cutlass to set him up.
The police officers didn't give him the slightest chance to speak, they bounced on him, handcuffing both hands together.
Johnson got confused, he didn't know what to do as one of the police men said "YOU ARE CHARGED FOR RAPE AND THE DEATH OF THE LITTLE BOY YOU BADLY INJURED, ANYTHING YOU SAY OR DO WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU IN THE COURT OF LAW".
Johnson couldn't say a thing because he knew then that he had gotten into something that was far more bigger than him (Trouble).
After that day, his life changed totally and everything collapsed for him.
He was taken to the police station. When they got their he found the criminal that committed the crime right at the counter of the police station, writing down a statement.
He looked at the man who committed the crime and yelled.
:...
"That is the man that kill that boy, I am innocent!!".
:....
Tears came down his eyes as the policemen roughly pushed him towards the jail.
The wicked old man who committed the crime, looked at Johnson with wicked eyes as Johnson was finally pushed into the prison.
Johnson in anger, cried in pain because he was being blamed for a crime he didn't commit and he knew that his life was in a pool of fire.
.......MONTHS LATER........
Series of questions and evidences had being gathered together against Johnson, making it difficult for him to be set free.
The news of Johnson had gone far and wide to every radio and tv station. Everyone heard about what Johnson did or rather was blame for.
The news was so intense that it got to the hearings of the governments of the country. It was no longer a child's play because the news was too shocking to comprehend.
:....
Newscaster: "Good morning."
Newscaster: "My name is Princess James."
Newscaster: "And this is the morning news."
Newscaster: "A man in his twenties roughly raped, injured and beat up a little boy. He then took the little boy to a hospital where the little boy died."
Newscaster: "The young man named Johnson was caught by three police men, After the death of the little boy."
Newscaster: "One of the police men said Johnson took them to the crime scene where he raped the little boy, and tried to convince them that he was innocent."
Newscaster: "The doctor from the hospital where the little boy died, said Johnson brough in the little boy running very fast and he had told him that an old man was responsible for the bad condition of the little boy who was already died."
Newscaster: "A rich man in Johnson's village who wrote down what he saw in a statement, said he had employed Johnson to clear a land for him.
Newscaster: "The rich man said he had seen Johnson forcefully dragging the little boy very early in the morning, through his toilet window. So he decided to follow him and know what he was up to.
Newscaster: "The rich old man said he was shocked to see what he saw and was afraid to confront him because he had a cutlass and an axe."
Newscaster: "The old rich man said he later couldn't bare to see how brutal Johnson handled the boy."
Newscaster: "So he jumped out of the bush where he hid, to confront Johnson. He said when Johnson saw him, he stopped what he was doing then warned him that if he ran he would kill him."
Newscaster: "The old man said he didn't listen to what Johnson said to him so he ran away quickly not to be killed.
Newscaster: "He said he ran to a hiding place because he was afraid that Johnson would find him and kill him. He said later when the sun came out he went straight to the police station to give his statement of what happened."
Newscaster: "Now people are demanding for justice, for Johnson to be sent on execution. Many people are protesting against child abuse."
Newscaster: "The horrible incident that occurred has drawn the attentions of so many people including the governments."
Newscaster: "Many say that Johnson is a ritualist and should be killed for the act."
Newscaster: "Others say he is not a human and should be beheaded".
Newscaster: "Few say that he should be jail for life with hard labour for such an act of evil attribute.
Newscaster: "When he was asked by one of our officials, why he did what he did, he cried and said 'I am innocent'."
Newscaster: "He is presently in jail and the final hearing of the court over him will be in 2 weeks."
Newscaster: "The government said that they would make sure that he is punished and no one would save him."
........PRESENTLY........
Johnson's hands were on cuffs, his eyes were faced down because he knew deep down that there was no chance of him escaping prison.
He was accused of a crime he didn't commit and was turned down by everyone and they never gave him chance to speak up. No one wanted to hear the side of his story, everyone was against him and his good deeds.
Johnson straightened up his head and took a glance behind him to see what was going on. When he took a glance, he saw the wicked rich man that placed him under the condition.
He saw the rich man who was meant to be standing where he (Johnson) stood, but had wrongly accused him (Johnson) of the crime he (rich man) committed and the world supported him (rich man) for it.
Johnson felt rage then tightly held the wood which his hands were placed on. Inside of him was the fire of hate burning uncontrollably high and fast.
At that point, if he was given the opportunity to pounce on the man, he would do it and tear the man apart into a thousand pieces.
People who were inside spoke quietly, talking about how Johnson was to be punished and other stuffs. Some where wickedly throwing abuses on him but they did it in different ways.
After some minutes later, the Judiciary came back to their sit then they passed an envelop to the judge, who sat right ahead of them.
The judge gently opened the envelop then wore his glasses to read the content in it.
Judge: "Due to the evidences gathered and the information, I've come to a conclusion that Johnson is guilty for the crime he single handedly committed."
Judge: "He is here by sentence to life in prison with hard labour."
Immediately Johnson heard that, his soul was torn apart. His head banged severally and confusing filled with rage took over him.
Everyone in the court room shouted with joy, happily because of what the judge said, but unknown to them they were doing justice to a man who was innocent.
An officer came close to where Johnson stood then took him by the arm. As Johnson walked towards the door leading outside, he saw the wicked rich man who put him in the condition he was.
He got furious looking at the man, he then formed a mouth full of saliva and spat on the rich man's face.
After he did that, the officer pushed him with force outside the door. When they got outside, the press were everywhere talking about him, some where trying to question him but were not allowed through the help of the officers.
Johnson walked with the officers, until they got to a black big van which was going to take Johnson to his final place of stay (for all his life time).
As Johnson slowly walked into the van, all that went through his mind was nothing but regrets and pains, of what he did and had gone through.
When he finally got inside the van, he sat on an iron seat. He sat then placed both his hands on his head with tears running down his eyes.
:.....
What have I done to deserve this?. I'm being blame for someone else's crime? [crying] I can't bare this.
No one believes me, the whole world is against me, I have been charged to spend the rest of my days in a place where I am not ought to be.
I'm finish, I have no future again, my life is now useless [CRYING].
THE END
:........
:........
:........
This type of thing happens everyday, many people are wrongly accused for crimes they know nothing about.
This so called injustice has grown so much in our society and our personal lives. It has eaten up the soul of justice and has destroyed families, friends and loved ones.
Justice no more rules the order of the day, what rules is injustice. Truth no longer rules in the law court, lies does every single day.
Many people have been murdered and many sent to life in prison just because of they were wrongly accused for a crime they had no hand in.
Injustice is what rules the law court and I Dindy stand against it. No one should be put under the control and order of injustice.
Let us all stand and fight it out of our lives and countries. We should give everyone the chance to be heard because you never can tell, the angel might actually be the demon causing the trouble.
Our leaders should stops helping injustice to grow. If they do, we will be better and will live a better life.
We also need to stop pushing injustice to grow. If we as individuals can just stop for a moment and fight for justice then believe you me our leaders will have no choice but to follow us.
I am DINDY aka NNAMDI and I stand for JUSTICE, what about YOU? What do YOU stand for?.
STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected] Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi









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Organization



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Two idiots [Read it]


DAD: What`s 10 plus 10?
AKPOS: I don`t know.
DAD: Idiot! You can`t answer such a cheap sum...Your stupidity will kill you.
AKPOS: Daddy, if you saw a 1000 naira note and a 500 naira note which would you pick?
DAD: 1000 of course
AKPOS: Idiot! Can`t you pick both? Poverty will kill you.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-27 09:15:00

1637 Views




If God dEcIdes 2 invitE us All 2 HeAveN tRu A fOnE cAl SUm GuRlZ WiL STil AsK hW DiD u GeT MY NUMbER ..LOL


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-13 00:28:23

492 Views



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