Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:

Women Wahala [Read it]


A man made love to his wife after returning from a long trip.
Husband: My wife your tin don dey sweet oh
Wife: Thank you my husband dat's what everybody is saying

lolz...if na u be the man, wetin u for do?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-23 11:50:03

1225 Views




This Morning,when i was preparing for Church,fortunately there was light,so i started charging my phone.
Because last night,if my were MTN,it would be like ''The battery, you are using to browse,is already low, pls charge it,before browsing again'' .
I went to bath,one idiot like that, went and unplugged my phone from my charger.
My phone that the battery was 3% full and put his own that was 90% full.
Not only that,he still used my phone and started playing game(temple run,that i almost finish the level,he failed it and started Afresh).
I nearly come out from the bathroom,when this 'nonsense' EDCC took the light. With hope that my phone would be atleast 20% full by then, i was surprise and shocked when i found out that my charger was in another phone, my phone was not where i kept it or anywhere there.
I asked people in the house,none of them agree to know where my phone was.
It was after sometimes that this idiot came in and i asked him. ''Ña dis one?' he replied as he was handing me,my phone.
I looked at my phone only to find out that the battery was just 1% full,i was so angry and reacted buh his reply was''bros,cool down,no hala me,na because say i used ur charger to charge my phone,u dey jump up and down,u no dey use my own.abeg park well oo''. i opened my mouth to talk,buh was dumbfounded.
I just took my phone, dial my friend's number to go to their place to charge my phone, as they usually put on generator.
All i could hear was '' Dear customer,ur balance is too low for this call,pls recharge and try again,thank you''.''whaat!'' i exclaimed,cos i know i recharged #500 last night,with the bonus of 25mb that i used to browse.i called him again.'what happened to the airtime in my phone' i asked him.'oh ur phone,i use am do small call,or anything bad in it,buh bros ur problem big today,u see me for dream'.he replied and went out. What should i do?,to fight him or what?.
i took money to buy another airtime after church service. As i was deep in thought of what makes my room partner did this to me,one man tapped me and gave #500 note,i thought, he gave me the money to help him and put it in the ofertory box, since i don't have money for offering,i quickly collected it,and went straight to the box and put it,as i came back,' next time,put ur money very well in ur pocket'said the man,immediately i put my hand in my pocket,just to found out that it was my transport fare and airtime money was the #500.
U know what,i trekked to my house and no airtime for me.
Bad day for me indeed. #B-goF


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-31 17:38:06

1370 Views



IGBO MAN [Read it]




Three business associates, an Igbo man, a
Yoruba man and a Chinese man, went to eat
lunch together at a restaurant in Surulere.
While in the middle of their meal, a fly came in
through the window. It flew across the table
to where the Igbo man was but he just
waved his hands to chase it away.
The fly then went to where the Yoruba man
was, he also chased it away.
Finally, the fly then went to where the Chinese
man was and was flying close to his ears. The
Chinese man looked at the fly for sometime
and then grabbed it, put it in his mouth and
swallowed it.
The other men saw this but just kept on
eating.
About Five minutes later, another fly came in
and flew to the Yoruba man who just chased
it away again.
It then flew on to the Igbo man but this time
he did not chase the fly, he looked at it for
sometime and then grabbed it. He then
turned to the Chinese man and asked "how
much you go buy am?"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-03 18:26:49

385 Views




Olden Days Relationship
BOYS: Showing Love
GIRLS: Accepting Love Everything leading to Marriage!

Nowadays Relationship
BOYS: Seeking for s e x
GIRLS: Demanding for Money
Everything leading to, "That`s my Ex".

Who is losing and who is gaining?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-02 09:41:09

751 Views




A lady’s Diary

DIARY ON A CRUISE SHIP

DEAR DIARY: DAY 1

All packed for the cruise ship — all my sexiest dresses and make-up. Really excited.

DEAR DIARY: DAY 2

Entire day at sea, beautiful and saw whales and dolphins.
Met the Captain today — seems like a very nice man.

DEAR DIARY: DAY 3

At the pool today. Also some shuffle boarding and hit golf balls off the deck.
Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner.
Felt honoured and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.

DEAR DIARY:DAY 4

Won $800 in the ship’s casino.
Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin.
Had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne.

He asked me to stay the night but I declined.
Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.

DEAR DIARY: DAY 5

Pool again today, got sun burnt, and went inside to drink at piano bar for rest of day.
Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks. He really is charming.
Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined.
He told me if I did not let him have his way with me he would sink the ship.
I was shocked.

DEAR DIARY: DAY 6

Today I saved 1600 lives – Twice.
????????????????Related

Lolo: Akpos my man, I found Aladin's lamp today.

Akpos: Wow, what did u ask for?

Lolo: I asked him to increase your brain ten times.

Akpos: Oh! Lolo my main guy i love you so much. Did he do that?

Lolo: He laughed and said, multiplication doesn't apply on zero.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-16 08:51:08

163 Views




Subtle difference:

Girlfriend: Call karna bcz balance nahi hai.

Friend: Call karna bc balance nahi hai. ????Related

Kanjoos(Miser) lawyer working in UK wrote to his wife in India .Dear Sunita Darling,I can’t send you my salary this month because the global market crisis has affected my Company’s performance, so I am sending 100 kisses.You are my sweetheart, please understand and adjust with this situation.Your loving husband,TunaHis wife replied..TINKU KE PAPPA,
Thanks for the 100 kisses.Below is the list of expenses I paid with the Kisses…1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s milk.2. The electricity man, Kooldip Singh, agreed not to disconnect only after 7 kisses.3. Your landlord Kapal Singh comes every day to take 2 or 3 kisses instead of the monthly rent.4. Supermarket owner Jaswant Singh did not accept kisses only, so I gave him other items, I hope you understand.5. Miscellaneous expenses 40 kisses.Please don’t worry about me, I still have a balance of 35 kisses andI hope I can survive the month using this balance.Shall I plan the same for the next month?Your Sweet Heart,SunitaRelated

Loveth: who is there?let me out(she hit the door and Jude walked in)
Jude: will stop shouting out your lungs
Loveth: Jude;please let me out of this room
Jude: no way;i don't have that patient to struggle with you or look for you;should in case you try to escape
Loveth: i don't have any plans of doing so but please let me out its so terrifying in here
Jude: just remain here
Loveth: i thought you said you love me?then let me out of here
Jude: if you have told me you love me;i would had let you out
Loveth: is that it?yes;i love you if that is what you want to hear from me
Jude: really?(he walked towards her and pull her face to his and she pushed him away)you really are very stubborn;i wouldn't do anything bad to you but since you have rejected my love;i will make life miserable for you(he walked away and lock the door behind him)
Loveth: Jude open up

Jude: you(to the maid)don't ever open that door for her;she will eat and bath in there and go get the cloths on my bed for her(he walked away)

Joan: Luke;wake up
Luke: what is it?(he stretches on the bed)
Joan: Luke;will you not go to work today
Luke: i don't want to
Joan: why?they are patient waiting for you at the hospital
Luke: will you stop nagging me?i don't want to see sick people;i am tired of seeing them and it make me sick(enter Muriel)
Joan: what is wrong with you?do you want the management to get mad at you
Luke: what do i care(he lay on the bed)
Joan: you joking right?
Luke: i am not
Muriel: son
Luke: not again
Muriel: what is wrong son?we are best of friends apart from the fact that i am your mother
Luke: mom;i have a lot on my head and this is the least thing i need now(he stood up from the bed)excuse
Muriel: where are you going to?
Luke: i don't get you two;one said i should go to work and other is asking me,'where am i going to'(he put up his cloths and wear it)
Muriel: son
Luke: mom;please(he walked away)
Muriel: i don't understand my son
Joan: even me;he had change big time
Muriel: i will look for what is disturbing him(curtain)

Loveth: who is there?
Maid: its me;ma
Loveth: please let me out(she cried)
Maid: ma;please stop crying
Loveth: i am not crying(she continued crying)i just pity myself
Maid: my boss said;'you should wear this' and please come and eat
Loveth: i am not hungry
Maid: ma;do you want to kill yourself
Loveth: will it not just be better;if i die than to spent all my miserable life with a man i don't love?
Maid: its better to stay alive and fight for the one you love
Loveth: i can't fight for it because i am up against a very strong one and i have to do this;if i want him alive
Maid: you sacrifice your love for him because you want to save his life?
Loveth: that is what you do;when you love someone. you go an extra miles to protect them because their being alive is enough for you;even if you two are not together(tears roll her eyes)the fact that we are not together;hurt me but i am happy that his life is save for me
Maid: that is enough(they both cry and hug each other)

Luke: good day;my name is Luke and i am looking for Loveth
Zara: she didn't come to work today and she haven't been to work since yesterday
Luke: well;is she sick?
Zara: we don't know;her number is not going through and she was suppose to appear in court today but we can't find her
Luke: alright;should in case she come around tell her;i looked for her
Zara: alright;sir(curtain)

Luke: open up the gate(he hit Loveth's apartment gate)Loveth;Loveth(he screamed and a man walk out)hey;where is Loveth?
Kingsley: who is Loveth?
Luke: the daughter of the owner of this apartment and who are you?
Kingsley: sorry;i am the new gateman of this apartment and she is not here
Luke: will you stop;i know she is in there;Loveth;come out and face me(he screamed)
Kingsley: she is not here;she must have travelled with Jude;my boss;for their marriage
Luke: marriage?
Kingsley: yes;they are having here wedding in the....(he walked away)what is wrong with him?it is his business(curtain)

Maid: ma;i brought;you the handkerchiefs;you asked for
Loveth: thank you and please get me a crayon(she left and returned with one)thank;you can go(she walked away and she write)superman;i know i hurt you but this is the only thing i could think of doing for you;you gave me reason to breath;you were my air but i won't know if i can live without you but i will try all means to make sure that my hope of being with you again will be realise;please find it in your heart to forgive me because i love you genuinely;i will always leave my heart empty for you. please;never think;i stop loving you or that i don't love you but its because i love you;that is why i did all that because i won't want to loss you permanently(back to Luke)
Luke: if i should sleep and i didn't wake up because you left with my breath;i was just thinking how do you expect me to live when you left with my air;my heart is empty;i want to move but i just can't because it seem i living in a world with no air;i don't know how to explain all this to you because i just cant find you;i don't know how i can live without you(back to Loveth)
Loveth: i will never let go of my love for you because i love you superman(back to Luke)
Luke: i will never stop loving you(he stood up from the floor and walked away)(back to Loveth)
Loveth: i love you unconditionally(door open)Jude
Jude: we are leaving
Loveth: like now?
Jude: yes;is time to go(he dragged her from the floor where she is righting)
Loveth: let me pack my stuff
Jude: this rubbish you writing on handkerchiefs are useless;lets go(he dragged her out of the room)
Loveth: fine;i am coming with you
Jude: good girl
Loveth: can i asked for one last thing
Jude: whats that?
Loveth: can i at least tell my friends goodbye
Jude: don't bother(they drive to the airport and she continued wiping and he felt pity for her but he so angry)do you hate me that much(she stare up at him)go on answer me(she shake her head)then stop crying you are hurting me more and this might make me change my mind;by killing him and still refuse to get married to you
Loveth: i am sorry(she wipe her tears)sorry;i will stop crying
Jude: good(curtain)


Joan: good evening ma
Muriel: evening dear;where is my son?
Joan: he is not at home?
Muriel: if he was here;will i be asking you?
Joan: but he didn't come to work
Muriel: what in God's name is wrong that boy?
Joan: i don't know ma;(enter Luke)just maybe;you should asked him
Luke: asked me what?why i am miserable?why i just can't do anything right?why everything about is always bad?i always bring bad luck
Muriel: son;that is not true
Luke: you are my mother and you want the best for me;that is why you are;my one and only love
Muriel: son;can we talk about this
Luke: there is nothing to talk about
Muriel: really son?
Luke: yes mom(he walked away)
Joan: ma;just let him be;just maybe when he feels like talking to anyone;he will
Muriel: i just hope so(curtain)


Liz: there comes the bride and the groom(Jude and Loveth walked into a group of people and a priest that will wed them was also there)son;congrats in advance
Jude: thanks mom
Loveth: Jude;what is going on?why are they so many people?(enter Grace and Lambert)dad(she hugged him)i missed you dad
Lambert: i missed my little princess
Loveth: dad;i felt like;i will not be able to see you again
Lambert: that was never going to be possible(he look into her eyes)have you been crying?
Grace: Lambert;just let her go to her husband
Lambert: oh!i forgot that my little thing is going to be a woman in a few minutes
Liz: come on Loveth(she turned to leave but ran back and embrace her dad and cried)
Lambert: my little princess;is there something you want to tell me(he pull her from his embrace)go on
Loveth: nothing dad(she wiped her tears)i am just so happy to see you again
Lambert: it doesn't seems so;if you don't......(Grace cut him short)
Grace: stop spoiling this girl;she is not a baby;will you go and meet your husband(she turn to walk away but her father held her hand)
Lambert: are you....
Loveth: yes dad(she wipe her tears and walk to Jude)lets go(they walked to the priest)
Priest: are you two ready now?
Jude: yes sir(after a long marriage sermon;he asked)
Priest: will you;Jude Lucas take Loveth Lambert as your wife
Jude: yes;i do
Priest: will you;Loveth Lambert take Jude Lucas as your wedded husband(she scared at Jude and imagined him as Luke and smile)young lady answer the question(she didn't answer because she is still lost in her imagination)young man(Jude touch her and she return to reality)
Loveth: what is it?
Jude: the priest is asking you;a question
Loveth: what is it?
Priest: will you take....
Loveth: yes(tears roll her eyes)
Jude: (he whisper in her ears)will you stop those tears because they are irritating me
Loveth: i am sorry
Jude: stop;telling me sorry;just smile(she force herself to smile)good
Priest: i here by pronounce you two man and wife(clapping)i present to Mr and Mrs Lucas (clapping continues)you may now kiss the bride(he kissed her)enjoy your new found life
Jude: thank you sir
Liz: congrats my son and my daughter
Lambert: little princess
Loveth: stop calling me little pricess;dad
Lambert: what should i call you?adult princess?(she laughed and they snap her)go on tell me
Lambert: naught princess;congrats my son;please take good care of my daughter;you are now her dad;big brother,in fact,her superman(she imagine him as superman and kept laughing unruly and they kept snapping them)princess;are you alright(she realise she was daydreaming and stop laughing)are you sure you are fine
Loveth: yes dad;i am fine
Grace: my sweet daughter;come give mummy a big hug;you don't know how happy you made me
Loveth: i love you mom(she hugged her)
Grace: welcome to the family(to Jude)
Jude: thanks ma
Liz: Jude;your dad sent you a car as a gift for your wedding
Jude: where is he?
Liz: he is not going to make it;he is on a business trip
Jude: i don't need is car;i just want him to be here;on my wedding day not him sending things i can afford. i am out of here
Liz: son;don't tell me;you are leaving your marriage because your dad didn't show up
Jude: yes;come lets go(he dragged Loveth)
Loveth: will you stop;at least respect my....
Jude: i do not have that stupid time;so lets just go(he dragged her and she refuse to move)do you want to stay(he carry her and the photographer snap them)
Lambert: young man;stop...
Grace: Lambert;she is his wife
Lambert: yes and she is my daughter
Grace: give him space
Lambert: fine
Liz: i am sorry about that
Lambert: tell you son;to take good care of my daughter because if he hurt my daughter;he will asked to me
Grace: Lambert; you are threatening her son's life
Lambert: i am not;let just go home
Grace: but...
Lambert: there is nothing to do here;the bride and the groom had left already
Grace: we go ahead;Liz
Liz: alright(they walked away)that man is scaring(curtain)




SEE MORE.........


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Money, Attitude & Ego are like undergarments. You should have them, but never show them.Related

“You?” he asked christiana but she didnt
respond. Christiana didnt say a word till they
got to ishmeal’s house.. Miss cynthia got up
when the car got into her compound.
Christiana walked out of the car and went to
her. “ishmeal cannot be found” she said to
christy. Christy smiled and uttered ” i am with
him mum. I found him on the street after
being inormed that he is no where to be
found. Please dont scold him nor hit him,
please mother.” she embraced the little girl
and thanked her for bringing back her son.
The guard odered ishmeal to go out of the
car when christy was about leaving.
Ish came out of the car in tears. He walked to
christy and thanked her but she didnt give
any respond. She waved miss cynthia and
left. ” i am sorry mum” ishmeal apologised to
his mother. His mother told him to thank
christiana and not to apologise to her.

Christiana sneaked into the room, took her
bath and got prepared for bed. Mrs paula
flaged the door open. “arent you asleep yet?”
she asked christiana. She was so scared
because she thought her mum had found out
that she went out against her will. “please tell
dady that i want a dog when he is coming”
christy said and jumped onto her bed.

It was day break, all the kids gathered at ish’s
house to find out if he had returned. He was
so quiet when they came in. No one had
seen him in such mood before.” what
happened man” “where did you go to”
questions fom all angles were running through
his mind. He kept silent throughout. Everyone
was just staring at him in an amazement. ” i
want to see juliet” where the only words he
could utter. ” guess she will be coming to the
field today” one of them said to him.

Later in the afternoon, ish got the chance to
meet juliet. She was also happy to meet her
friend again. Ish narrated everything to her.”
you mean christy sent you home, how
come?” juliet asked with adult face. Ish was
mute. ” will you meet her tonight?” he asked
juliet. “do you want to see her?” she asked in
amazement. “yes” he responded with tears.
Juliet embraced her friend and asked him
not to cry. He went home with juliet to collect
the story book he refused to take from
christiana. Juliet was surprised with his actions
but all the same she was glad that, ishmeal
intends to know who christiana really is. He
couldnt stop looking at the book when he got
home. The story talks about a boy who
longed for the love of a father and ends up
attaining that love from his mother. Ish was
touched by the story and he wept his heart
out. Ishmeal was in a quiet mood til juliet
came to fetch him. ” are you alright?” juliet
asked. ” yes” he responded without gazing at
her.
They went to the field to wait for christiana.
Fortunately for them, christy also came
around. She greeted juliet and embraced her
but she left ishmeal standing, even though he
wished, he could be greeted too

>>

A Husband and his wife agreed that anytime they want to have sex, they will call it a ‘PHONE CALL’ so that the kids will not decode.


One day, the husband sent his son and said, “Tell your mother that, “Daddy wants to make a phone call.


Mother replies, “Tell your Dad that the Network is down today.”


Dad to his son, “Go tell your mother that if there is no Network at home, I will go to a Public Phone”.


Mother tells her son to go and tell his dad, “If he dare goes to a Public Phone, she will open a Call Centre at home.”Related

.
There was once a hat
seller who passed through
the forest.
The weather was very hot
and he decided to take a
nap under one of the
trees, so he left his whole
basket of hats by the side.
A few hours later, he woke
up and realised that all his
hats were gone. Then he
heard some monkeys on
top of the tree and looked
up. To his surprise, the
tree was full of monkeys.
They had taken all his
hats! The hat seller sits
down and try to think on
how he could get the hats
down.
He started to think and
scratched his head. The
next moment, he realised
that the monkeys were
doing the same thing.
Next, he took down his
own hat and fanned
himself. The monkeys did
exactly the same.
Then an idea struck him,
he took his hat and threw
it on the floor, the
monkeys did the same too.
Happily, he picked all his
hats back.
Fifty years later, one of
his grandson also became
a hat seller and also got to
hear the monkey story
from his grandfather.
One day, just like his
grandfather, he passed
through the same forest.
Feeling very hot, he took
a nap under the same tree
and left the hats on the
floor.
Again like his grandfather,
when he woke up, he
realised that all his hats
were gone.
He looked up and found
that the monkeys had
taken all his hats.
Remembering what his
grandfather told him, he
started scratching his
head and the monkeys
followed.
He took down his hat and
fanned himself and again
the monkeys followed.
Now, very convinced of
his grandfather's idea, he
threw his hat on the floor,
but to his greatest
surprise, the monkeys still
held onto all the hats..
Then one bold monkey
climbed down the tree,
grabbed the hat on the
floor and sneered,
"You think
say Na only you get
GRAND-PAPa...??.#B-goF.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-05 19:36:41

591 Views




Later in the evening, when my madam’s husband
came back from work, he called me aside and
asked me why I was crying in the morning.
“Nothing sir,” I replied not wanting to betray
myself.
“Come on dear,” he urged on. “Your madam is
not here so be free and tell me what happened.”
I kept silent for some seconds before I replied.
“Madam flogged me with wire,” I revealed. “And
hid it under the bed.”
“Really?” He asked.
“Yes sir,” I replied. “Please let me finish up with
the plates,” I added.
“Ok,” he replied and left.
I finished washing the plate and went to dispose
off refuse for the day.
I didn’t go over to Chidimma’s compound to call
her like before so I came back early.
Then I proceeded to look after the little baby as
madam took her evening bath.
There was this way my madam’s husband was
looking at me that made me uncomfortable but I
pretended like I didn’t notice.
I focused on the baby I was babysitting and
ignored him completely.
My madam soon finished taking her bath and
joined us in the sitting room.
She collected her baby from me and ordered me
into the kitchen.
I obeyed immediately and left the sitting room.
Inside the kitchen I thought about my life.
There wasn’t any hope that I would go to school
and my madam and her husband didn’t seem to
be thinking in that direction.
Then I thought about my madam’s husband and
the way he had been looking at me recently and
wondered what exactly he had in mind.
At fifteen, my b####t had developed to a sizeable
extent and my hips were innocently rounded.
Could that be what the husband was staring at?
I couldn’t tell.
I sat in the kitchen till it was time to prepare
dinner then I set to work grinding, pounding and
cutting the necessary condiments needed for the
soup.
When I was done, I took over the baby while my
madam set to work.
Within 2hours, the soup was ready so she and her
family ate first before mine was dished into one
rubber plate and I ate without any complaint or
grudges.
I then proceeded to wash the dishes used in
preparing and serving the food before I finally
went to bed.
Around 1.00am midnight, my madam’s
husband sneaked into my room while I was fast
asleep and started touching me all over.
I woke up with a start, shocked and surprised but
he hushed me and begged me to cooperate but I
resisted and pleaded with him not to force me.
Feeling angry and humiliated, he tiptoed out of
my room and went back to their master
bedroom…

Drop your comments below








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People who work together will win, whether it be against complex football defenses, or the problems of modern society.

~ Vince LombardiRelated

JOKE PART 11 BY DINDY

Dindy: Boys lie more than girls.
Girl: It's a Lie, girls lie more.
Dindy: It's a lie!.
Girl: Ok.
Girl: Let's play a lie game and see who lies the most.
Dindy: Cool!.
Dindy: You go first.
Girl: I love you!.
Dindy: You're a virgin!....lol.
#DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 12.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-09-15 21:37:05

198 Views



akpos like hell [Read it]


Akpos entered a mosque carrying a brand new
cutlass and asked:
"who is a muslim here?". The whole mosque went
as silent as d
graveyard. Akpos asked again: "how can a full
mosque have no
muslim?". No one replied. Akpos den grabbed the
nearby young man and goes out wit him and told
him, "son come help me kill my goat for i dont
know how to do it". After the young man had
killed the goat, he told Akpos dat he didn't know
how to skin it and dat Akpos should go back to
the mosque to get someone else to help
him with dat.
Akpos returned to the mosque wit the cutlass
dripping wit blood. When the IMAM saw this, he
immediately shouted: "MY BROTHERS IN CHRIST
PRAISE THE LOOORD!". the whole mosque
responded:
"Halleluyaaah!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-30 19:46:09

449 Views




Ladies, marriage is not a do or die affair...
Don't become a slave to any man.
Any man who feels too special to sacrifice for
you (cook, wash, sweep and do other chores)
doesn't deserve you.
You're not a machine, even machines do wear
off if not properly lubricated and taken good care
of.
How can someone be stretching legs in the
parlour watching miserable programs on Tv when
you're dead with house chores especially when
you're heavily pregnant?
Why should you allow a situation whereby
because of just one male organ, seven male
organs will cry when you're gone?
Na only him waka come?
#Advice!!!
#Funny_king


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-11 16:46:20

338 Views



10 billion [Read it]


A man had two children .the man put all his trust in his children
One the mistakely poured urine in his tea. The man was abut to die.he callad his children and he said i have 10billion in in in in......and he dies







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-12-12 20:31:18

200 Views



jewelry [Read it]


A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her
family when her daughter walks in. “Mother,
where do babies come from?” The mother thinks
for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy
and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night
they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug,
and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the
mother continues, “That means the daddy puts
his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you
get a baby, honey.” The child seems to
comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when
I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in
your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”
“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-08 12:27:34

628 Views



can I kiss u [Read it]


Boy drops girl at home, he puts his hand on d wall by d gate for support, leans towards her
BOY: Can I kiss you?
GIRL: Not now, I'm at home.
BOY: Please.
GIRL: No.
BOY: You were too sweet in bed today.
GIRL: Waoh! you too, full of energy. I could not believe we had for rounds.
BOY: Let me kiss u good night.
GIRL: Someone may be watching, they still think I'm a virgin at home.

This goes on for ten minutes, then girl's brother appears at the gate and says "Dad says whether u kiss him or not its your decision, but tell that bastard to remove his hand from the intercom button, everyone at home is listening to your conversation"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-15 09:16:33

340 Views



agugu [Read it]


Good Afternoon!!
I want to bath... Should i use water??


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-11 18:18:45

395 Views



score [Read it]


If na u wetin u go do







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-26 22:37:01

566 Views




I got to my lodge and locked myself inside my room. I didn’t
want any disturbance from anybody be it a sympathiser or
friend. I had quietly offed the engine of my jeep and tiptoed
to my room to avoid drawing the slightest attention. Even
the girl in whose room I slept didn’t know I had come back. I
quietly went into my room and locked the door. Then I sat
on my bed to think of what to do. I had enjoyed life and
money to the extent that I had lots of flashbacks rolling back
and forth in my mind. Top on my list was the Dubai travel. It
was simply awesome. From abu d’habi this to abu d’habi
that, we explored. The names sounded so unfamiliar that I
couldn’t remember them. Not to talk of the hotel built in the
middle of the ocean where me and senator clifford spent
one night. There were lots and lots of goodies on sale and
senator clifford really tried for me. Then the thoughts of
stella, my former roommate filtered into my mind. She was
probably still in business and I felt cheated. I felt cheated by
nature. I felt cheated by destiny. My plans of purchasing a
piece of land and starting off the foundation of my new
building had turned out to be mere figments of my
imagination. I shook my head in bitterness. What was more?
My academics. I hadn’t talked much about my academics
because there wasn’t much to talk about. I sorted all my
courses at the slightest opportunity and slept with as many
lecturers as were willing to give me marks. I was among the
happening babes in campus and sponsored as many female
cult groups as I could count. The first day I drove to school
in my new jeep, the whole faculty was thrown into chaos as
everybody hailed me at the top of their voice. I introduced
ten babes into the business that very day. Babes who
wanted to hammer jeeps the way I hammered. I shook my
head as the vivid images flashed across my mind as though
they happened yesterday. Then the image of Ray, the client
of mine I murdered in cold blood, came to my mind and I
shuddered with fear. For the second time I looked round my
well furnished room and trembled. I heard a noise sweep
across my room and got up to know what it was but saw
nothing. The noise swept across again for the second time
and this time behind my back and I turned and saw nothing.
Then a female voice began to laugh inside my room of which
I couldn’t still see anybody. I zoomed out of the room
instantly without looking back or thinking twice

>> Episode 44 -

One Sunday afternoon Akpos was hungry and he has no money to buy what to eat, he suddenly remembered his neighbor's coconut tree " today is Sunday I know he might be in church, I will clamb his coconut tree and get to myself as many as I want" he said. Akpos got up to where bunch of nuts is, his body began to shiver before he control his situation to stand firm to pick the nut for himself behold Akpos fell down from extreme end of the tree to the ground. He then woke up and checked his entire body after realising that he did not sustained any injury, he rose up his eyes looked up the sky and said " Papa God, which kind play be this? if to say I no dey strong I fell here and I wund myself wetin you for say ? I beg I no like this kind play.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-19 20:07:26

1423 Views




“oh my God” she screamed with joy, her eyes shone
with great excitement.
“please say something. Will you marry me?” i asked
again, “oh yes yes yes yes yes yes” she sang with happiness. I
licked my lips, took the ring from her and calmly slid it
into her third finger,
“you are forever mine, my love” i breathed while she
smiled and kissed me with great intensity.
I was so happy over the action i took. I felt it was one of the best decisions i have ever made in my life.
“once Jboy’s burial is over, i’ll meet her family and start
up the marriage proceedings” i reasoned.
“my love, you know we are almost late for work, or do
you have other plans?” she asked, bringing my
wandering mind back with her question. “yeah you have to get your things because you arn’t
spending the night here. We got to celebrate your
birthday and our engagement. Double fun huh?” i said
with a smile. She rolled her eyes, breathing deeply.
“so where are we going?” she asked,
“first we go to the office from there we head to a nice restaurant, after which we wrap it up in a hotel” i
suggested, licking my lips.
“oh no, i beg to disagree. Spending a quiet evening
with you is all i need, and your apartment is enough for
that. We don’t need a hotel or restaurant my love.
Moreover you have many responsibilities with little money, i havn’t even asked how you plan on pulling it
all off” she said seriously with a slight frown. I looked
into her eyes with great love.
“okay the hotel is cancelled, but the evening in a
restaurant isn’t” i pleaded.
“whatever” she smiled with a shrug. I drew close and kissed her.
____
We finally went to the office like a newly wedded
couple, wasting no time in announcing the great news
to our colleagues. They were all happy for us.
My only regret was that Jboy wasn’t there to share my happiness and i really felt bad and guilty thinking about
it.
By 4:30pm, Chioma and I left the office and headed to a
newly built restaurant at the other end of the town. The
scenery was superbly cool, quiet and awesome. Exactly
the kind of environment i wanted. “so tell me the truth, what suddenly made you propose
to me?” Chioma asked with a cute curious smile after
we had settled down for a wonderful meal. As i made to
answer, my attention instantly got drawn to a lady
walking into the restaurant. She equally noticed my
stare and frowned as our eyes met. She was no other person than Mary’s obnoxious senior sister.
“Mary’s sister” I whispered to Chioma who intelligently
followed my eyes.
“hmmm are you scared?” she asked, reaching for my
hand across the table. “of course not. Just surprised” i answered with a dry
laugh. She scoffed and cracked a silly joke which made
me laughing out.
Mary’s sister simply, ordered a drink, sat a distance
away from us and kept throwing her eyes on me. There
wasn’t any doubt She clearly noticed the affectionate display going on between Chioma and I. However she
did nothing than only to keep her eyes on us until an
elderly gentleman who she probably had a date with
joined her minutes later.
____
Chioma and i had a very magicial night when we returned to my apartment later in the evening.
We had a quick shower together, before ending up on
the bed.
Our night of passion was really one of a kind. Hot, super
and explosive. I gave it to her with all my strength while
she recieved all i gave out with joyful abandon. We totally satisfied each other.
“you know from this moment, we are into everything
together. No more secrets. No more double dealings”
she whispered into my ear after the second round of
sex. I smiled lazily and nodded.
She sat up, played with my d.ick for a while, slid a rubber on it and lowered her kitty over it, sitting on my
groin.
“and no more dirty games or cheating” she added
seriously as she took me back to wonder-land.
We woke up the next morning, very weak and sleepy. I
lazily turned to face her and was surprised to see her eyes were on me.
“how are you my love?” i greeted. She breathed deeply
and smiled.
“i don’t feel like going out today” she replied sweetly. I
kissed her forehead passionately.
Just that moment, my door bell rang, leaving me with a deep sigh.
“c’mon it’s 7:30am, who could it be?” i asked angrily,
“I guess it’s Mary. It’s quite Logical she will come
rushing to see you. Her sister must have told her about
us” she said calmly. I said nothing, dressed up and went
to the entrance door. Just like Chioma said, it was no other person than Mary.
She stared at me with a coloured dry face as i opened
the door, leaving me extremely speechless and angry
but i quickly controlled my nerves.
The situation i found myself wasn’t the type solved
without diplomacy.

>>

akpos was sleeping on a sunday afternoon he was now dreaming that he and his girlfriend are having a hot romance he dream that he give his girl a hot kiss and she return it with a nice kiss and akpos is enjoying it suddenly he woke up akpos has been romancing a cat and the cat did not want to leave akpos .


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-24 14:27:41

286 Views




Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in Maine, I was stopped by a state trooper in New York for exceeding the speed limit.Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, I gave him a small bag of my grandmother’s delicious chocolate-chip cookies and proceeded on my way.A short time later, I was stopped by another trooper.“What have I done?” I asked.“Nothing,” the trooper said, smiling. “I heard you were passing out great chocolate-chip cookies.”Related


The following conversation ensued between Akpos and his father:

Father: Akpos, how was your exams today?

Akpos: It was very difficult so I didn’t even go to the exams center.

Father: Ah! If you didn’t go there, how do you know that it was difficult?

Akpos: I saw the questions yesterday.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-21 06:04:30

218 Views




Why do women have two sets of lips?

So they can piss and moan at the same time!Related

Range rover [Read it]


A guy on a date in a brand new Range Rover Evoque, riding with his babe.


GUY: I've been hiding a secret from you and I think you will break this relationship if I tell you.
GIRL: What is it my love?
GUY: I'm an SS (sickler) and I'm also HIV positive.
GIRL: (Hitting the guy on d lap), you almost scared me! Thought you wanted to say this Range Rover you are driving isn't yours, let's go joooooor! Ordinary SS and HIV? I will die with you!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-07 21:56:32

214 Views




1. They uploads pix
everyday. Just to get
likes and comments but when
they sees other people's pix
she click the next page
.
.
2. They answer names like
baby, doll, slim,
tosh, dope, melon, sweet,
cutedopeassbaby , la hot,
sleeky ,strawberry ,sugar
,tipsy, jewel etc .
.
.
3. They attack you when you
say the truth
about them
. .
4. They make some guys to
see the truth but
yet get confused
.
.
. 5. They make stupid status
and get 500 likes
and 2000 comments from
stupid guys who
comment just to get favour
from them
.
.
6. They are always online
especially in the night
.
.
7. They are always ugly .
.
. 8. They no dey marry early
yet they keep
updating I love my boo, my
guy is the best in
the world ,love on air
.
.
9. They are reading this and
won't comment. Coz they
know am saying the truth...
.
.
10. If you don't comment that
means you are
a witch too.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-21 05:29:09

486 Views



Teenage Love. [Read it]


**PART ONE**
CHAPTER 1…….
It was a bright saturday morning
on the 7th of september 2013.
Akinola oluwasegun was walking
along a popular street in Ibadan,
Oyo state. He was dressed in a
white T-shirt and a black pant
trouser and a black vickers shoe.
He was on his way to Loyola
College, a government owned
secondary school around Agodi
gate GRA Ibadan for his WAEC GCE
exam.
He entered into the school
compound and walked towards
the school building. Being his
first paper English Language, he
had no idea of where the
examination hall was situated.
So, he had to ask for help from
other candidates who had come
the previous days for chemistry
practicals and Commerce. He
walked up to a girl seated on the
staircase reading to ask for the
help.
“Hello, good morning.” he
greeted.
“Good morning.” she replied.
“Please, are you here for exam?”
he asked.
“Yeah.” she replied.
“Okay. Please, which way is the
examination hall.” He asked.
“I don’t know. This is my first
time here.” She answered.
(disappointed) “Okay, lets ask
others the way to the exam hall.”
He adviced.
“Okay.” She replied standing up
and dusting her skirt.
*TEN MINUTES LATER*
The invigillator walked into the
exam hall carrying a green sack
with the inscription; WEST
AFRICAN EXAMINATION COUNCIL.
No 62. He was accompanied by
five teachers of the school.
A laptop was removed and with
a thumb printing device attached
to it.
“Line up for your biometrics.”
one of the teachers barked.
After the completion of the
biometrics. The candidates were
asked to sit down according to
their numbers. The answer
booklets and the question
papers were first distributed
before the attendance was
marked. The paper lasted two
and a half hours. The paper
ended by 11:30am and they
were given 3hours break before
the commencement of the paper
2&3(objectives & the Test of
Orals respectively).
Outside the examination hall,
students were seen in group,
some in fours, in fives and so on
discussing and arguing over the
just concluded paper.
Oluwasegun(segun for short)
wast sitting alone under a big
three near the school football
pitch. He was flipping through
the pages of the WAEC English
language past question. Just then
someone tapped him from
behind. He looked up and saw
his cousin Omolayo Akinola.
He stood up and hugged her.
“What are you doing here?” he
asked.
“I came to greet my friends
writing their exam here. She
answered.
“Where is your centre?”
“Ikolaba grammar school.”she
replied.
“Most of my friends are in that
centre.”he said.
“Are you the only one here?” she
asked.
“Yes, am the only one here from
my school.”he answered.
“You must be feeling lonely
o.”she said.
“Yeah”………
The gisted for like ten minutes
before Omolayo stood up to go,
“Let me introduce you to my
friends over there.” she said
pointing to a group of 2 boys
and 4 girls gisting.
He stood up and followed her
towards the group. Immediately
they saw them approach they
stopped talking.
“Where have you been? One of
her friends jummy asked
Omolayo suspiciously.
Ignoring her question. “Meet my
cousin, Segun. Segun meet my
friends.” she introduced.
“Hi guys.” he greeted.
“Hi.” They chorused.
They all hung around till it was
1:30pm, 30minutes before the
next paper.
“Bro, i think we should get going
so, we won’t be late.” Omolayo
said.
“Alright, bye. Segun answered.
Omolayo left with four of her
friends remaining two who were
also in segun’s centre. Among
which was Jummy.
–to be continued–


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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They started querying me that who
were my accomplice that i used my
system to transfer the sum of
N150million from a customer’s
account, i was seriously denying
because i didn’t do anything of such.
They asked me if i see the ID of my
system will i recognized it? I said sure
in affirmative, they showed me the IT
audit trail of the system that was
used to transfer money out of the
bank; i confirmed it was my system
that was used. They generated the
customer’s statement of account on
the system and showed me the day
the money was moved out of the
system and the reference number on
the transaction ID which matches
with the audit trail.
I started thinking of that particular
date and what happened that day, i
remembered the date was almost a
month ago, i started recollecting
what happened that day, i
remembered i had issue with Joke
before leaving the house that day, i
had a quickie with Ifeoma later in my
office in the afternoon, then i
remembered one of our vendor who
came to do something on our server
but the head of operation was still
busy with customers, he came to my
office, we gisted as he was working
on his laptop, i remembered i
complained to him that my system
network was going on and off and it
was not allowing me to work, the
branch system administrator was
busy as at that time and he
requested to check it up for me, he
inserted my network cable into his
laptop to confirm if it was working
and return it back after like 10
minutes, did some certain things on
my system and the network was
stable and okay…
After listening to all i said, they said i
was cooking up stories that i should
tell them where my accomplices are
so that they can go and arrest them
and recover what individual must
have shared. I said i don’t know
anything about it, the committee left
the room around 6pm and i thought
they will ask me to go and come back
until i saw them come in with police.
They took me to lion building close to
Marina, they didn’t touch me that
evening.
Joke called to ask where i was and i
told her what was happening she
never believed me and started
raining curse on me that have gone
to sleep with a lady in the hotel, i had
to cut the call on her while she was
ranting but she kept calling me. I was
taken to one of the cell in lion
building to sleep that night and i was
taken to the police interrogation
room for questioning, i was tortured,
beaten badly but i still maintain my
stand that i don’t know anything
about it.
After like 5 days of torturing, i
requested to talk to my family so that
they will know where i was, i called
my sister to inform her of my
predicament, i asked her to tell our
parent too and that there was a lady
in my house with a baby boy, they
should tell her too. All of them came
the following day, they discussed with
the police, police asked them to
involve the services of a lawyer if they
want the issue to be resolved.
Ajoke looked at me with a pity for the
first time since the two month she
came to my life, she couldn’t imagine
what they have done to me and it was
then i realized that “ti a ba nja bi ka
ku ko”, i never believed she could cry
for me. She said she knows a very
good lawyer in lagos, she called
thelawyer and he came to meet us
there, i explained all i know to the
lawyer and he told me i shouldn’t
worry that everything will be fine. He
said the first thing they need to do is
to compel the police to charge me to
court so that they can seek for
application to bail me since my
offence was bail able.
I was arraigned at Igbosere
magistrate court the following
Thursday, my count charge was read
to me and i pleaded not guilty to
them. After hearing the argument of
my lawyer and the bank’s lawyer, my
lawyer said he has filed application
for bail and urge the court to grant
me bail as my offence was bail able.
After the submission, the court fixed
my bail application hearing to two
weeks time and instructed that i
should be remanded in Ikoyi prison
pending when my bail application will
be determined

>>

The house was buzzing with life as people
chattered with laughter filling the whole sitting
room. Priscilla sat quietly by the verandah wishing
she could disappear from the house. It was his
parents’ anniversary and the house was full of all Ariyos’ except for Lola the eldest daughter. No one
cast a second glance at her- that was not unusual,
except for Tayo. It made her feel unwanted
though she knew she was. Everyone despised her
no more than she despised herself for marrying
this man ‘but still, it wouldn’t hurt to get a little recognition now and again’ she thought bleakly
to herself. It seemed time dragged on for hours.
As she sat alone looking languidly at the door, a
lady walked into the house catching her attention.
The lady looked beautiful, wearing a red bandage
dress with baby sleeves. The knee length gown complimented the woman’s bosom figure and
her pretty face could surely make men swoon.
She walked with an aura of confidence as though
she commanded attention.
“Karen!” Many heads turned in the large sitting
room; the woman named Karen seemed to light up the room some more. Unconsciously, Priscilla
looked at her husband standing far away from
her, he seemed surprised and he walked hurriedly
towards the woman. Even Demilade, his younger
sister already stuck to the woman like a magnet
along with a little crowd of people; Tunde’s mother seemed to be smothered by this Karen as
she stared at them full of wonder. Her heart
sizzled jealously of this attractive woman. She
looked away and sipped a little of her Fanta from
its bottle in her hand trying to soothe the uneasy
feeling. “Priscilla”
Tayo’s beaming face made her smile. Somehow
his presence was always a breath of fresh air. “It’s
been a while”, he said as they hugged lightly.
“Really it has.”
“How was South Africa?” “Good, good” he replied enthusiastically “It’s nice
to see you again. How have you been coping
though?”
“Just fine, I’m here in one piece” Priscilla lied
through her teeth thankful he seemed not to
notice. “Who’s that woman?” “Who?” Tayo bent a little, looking round the room
and she pointed at the attractive woman.
“She seems to be a bit of a celebrity around here”
Tayo nodded. “That’s Karen Amusa”
“I haven’t heard of her.”
“Really”, Tayo turned to look at her startled “Tunde hasn’t…”
“No” her curiosity increased. “Who is she?”
She could tell the hinge of hesitation in his
expression “She’s a family friend. She, Tunde and
I were close in our university days”
“I don’t think she came for our wedding then” “Your wedding was more of a hush-hush
wedding Priscilla but nevertheless, it was
Demilade that invited her over”.
“Then I’m assuming that isn’t all about her?” she
asked dryly
Tayo shook his head sideways. “But what’s been going on with you?” He was poor at changing the
subject but she let it slide. For the moment.
“Same old”, she replied forcing a smile.
“Sounds like fun”, came a sarcastic response but
she said nothing, A few seconds passed between
them and they busied themselves silently watching the activities going on. Her eyes were
fastened on Tunde as he spoke to this Karen. He
seemed so absorbed in their conversation.
Priscilla couldn’t tell if he was mesmerized by
their conversation or the woman herself but it
gave her an uneasy feeling to see him stand so close to her when he should have been by his
wife’s side.
“I see you don’t mix with the rest of the family.”
She snapped her head up to look at Tayo; she had
almost forgotten he was there “How do you
mean?” “Well, you don’t mix with aunty Folake. Everyone”
“Am I supposed to?” she replied my eyes to the
ground.
“Isn’t it wise?” he drew a breath. “Look around
you; you seem to be the odd one out.”
Her face colored slightly in embarrassment “I’m not big on conversations, Tayo”
He nodded. “Maybe, but you don’t seem like the
quiet type either” Tayo sighed “It’s funny how
everyone has changed though, our childhood I
mean”
“How was it?” she asked unable to stop herself. She knew next to nothing about Tunde’s
childhood. He laughed freely, “It was fun. I
remember when Tunde, Karen and I used to hit
the clubs, study together…we ran around a lot,
now he’s cool and aloof” his mouth curled in
disapproval. She swallowed the heavy-laden statement. They
were both looking at Tunde as he spoke to Karen;
the way he looked at her was different. She did
not know why but she did not like this woman,
she felt a knot in her stomach. It had been so
long since she and Tunde were intimate; somehow, she missed his weight curled really
close to her.
Tayo turned to look at her “We had a lot of fun
though. Three musketeers we were”
“Really?” Priscilla smiled goading him “and who
was the third?” “Karen”
She could not picture Tunde being a happy-go-
lucky chap. He had always been aloof, making it
clear that he was not happy about the arranged
marriage. A sigh escaped her lips; ‘At least we
have a common interest in something’ she thought.
Demilade walked up to them. She ran her eyes
over Priscilla’s plain-a-bit oversized gown full of
distaste. She had never approved of Priscilla and
was fiercely protective of her brother but she
looked good in her pencil jeans and chiffon top; her hair was packed tightly into a bun
highlighting the basic features of her fair-skinned
face.
“Priscilla”, her tone was curt
“Demilade” Priscilla replied her heart sinking
lower in her chest. “I see you’re trying to dig your claws into another
Ariyo man?” Demilade asked with a plastic smile.
She smiled back with less animosity. The three of
them went silent feeding on the built tension.
“Doesn’t it bother you to see him with her?”
“Urgh! Demilade don’t start with that”, Tayo remarked already frustrated, but she ignored it.
“Why should it?” Priscilla replied coolly looking
back at her eye to eye.
“Oh it should” she smiled wickedly and her eyes
glinted full of hatred “If I were you, I’d grab all
the money I could. After all we all thought they would get married” she threw a glance at those
two. Priscilla’s heart felt as though it would stop,
it took Priscilla almost a minute to regain
composure and Demilade saw how much it
affected her. It gave her a thrill to know her words
shook deeply and she didn’t stop enjoying her glaring moment. Tayo cleared his throat
uncomfortably throwing his younger cousin a
disapproving glance “That was a long time ago”,
he tried to sound light “I’m sure it’s all water
under the bridge now”.
“Doesn’t seem like that to me Tayo, right Priscilla?” she turned to look at Priscilla wittingly
but Priscilla chose not to reply, in order not to fuel
her amusement at her mockery; although there
seemed to be some truth in what Demilade, said
seeing those two together. Was that the reason
why he detested his wife so much as if she brought this upon them knowingly? They both
wanted the same thing…to be free of each other.
“Seems like you didn’t know that bit about your
husband”
“That’s enough now Demilade!”
“No”, Priscilla put her hand towards Tayo. “Leave her Tayo, she has as much right to be angry”, her
voice was almost a whisper.
Her tone was smug “Everyone knew that and
there’s still a lot of hope left” Demilade smiled
daggers at her. Her words seared through Priscilla
as hot as knives and as she looked at her husband and the woman, panic began to well up.
To buttress her point, it was common knowledge
that their marriage was falling apart. They knew
that at any moment either one of them could
breakdown. “Well, my work here is done”
Demilade walked away from them satisfied. “Don’t pay any atten…”
She cut him short with a panicked voice, her eyes
reflecting bitterness “Did they love each other?”
“It’s over between them now. That’s what
matters”
“Did they?” she was adamant. Tayo let out an uncomfortable sigh “Yes”
“Is it still the same way?”
He shifted “Look I think this is not for me to
answer, Priscilla” he turned to walk away but she
clutched his suit almost desperately “Please
Priscilla” “Will it be fair to me not to know?”
He nodded “I’m sorry”. With that, he pulled away
from her and she stood there for what seemed to
be eternity, really wanting to be swallowed up in
the ground. At least, she wouldn’t have to endure
the humiliation. So, he had so little regard for her that he brought his lover here? Priscilla’s eyes
watered. The room felt smaller, suddenly it was a
bit too difficult for her to breathe; but she stood
there like a rock determined not to let Tunde or
any of his family members get to her.
She threw a hurried glance their way, Karen’s hand was on his and they laughed together and
she watched as though it did not matter who
Priscilla was. Karen had no care in the world as
though she was no competition. It would not get
to her, Priscilla told herself, and it would not.
THE rest of the evening was a blur and she was thankful they were headed to the house where
she could run to the sanctuary of the toilet and
spend a few minutes alone with her chaotic
thoughts. The car was silent with only the purr of
the engine. As Tunde drove, her mouth was
swollen with questions and she did little to hide her irritation though she knew he would not care
either way.
“Why didn’t you warn me beforehand that your
lover was coming?” the question rolled out of her
mouth before she could stop it “At least I believe I
had every right to prepare myself ahead of time” He threw her a startled look as soon as he pulled
up in front of the gate; there were dim lights
everywhere from other houses throwing enough
light for her to see his face.
“What do you mean by that?”
She said nothing. She had made her point clear that she knew and that was enough for her.
“Answer me” his voice grew thicker with
impatience “Answer me!’ he said again this time
louder. “You humiliated me!” She threw back
wretchedly “You brought your lady to that place
and humiliated me!” Tunde hissed exasperated “And do you have any
proof that she’s my mistress? Photos, videos?” he
mocked. Pricking her with his words, she refused
to back down.
“I just believe I deserve a bit more respect
especially in public” “First, my family is hardly public and second, the
conditions of our marriage is an open secret”, his
voice was sharp “and respect is earned you don’t
demand what you don’t deserve!”
Her chest rose and fell with silent fury and as she
stared at the man the world knew to be her husband, a slow cynical smile curved her lips and
she shook her head but he didn’t even turn to
look at Priscilla, it made her feel cheap and
uneasy as though he was filled with disgust.
“Get out!” he said to her.
Her mood changed from hurt to being startled in a flash.
“Didn’t I make myself clear?” He still did not look
at her as if he would hit her if he dared to. “I said
get out!” His voice mirrored his controlled anger.
Wisely, she did not protest and got out of the car
as meek as a lamb. She slammed the door as hard as she could; inside she was reeling fearful
least she made him very angry.
There was a bit of silence between them and
suddenly the engine purred and car scrambled
off, no doubt to meet his mistress, she thought to
herself but she went through the gate into the compound full of anger and fear and shaky. As
Priscilla opened the front door, she wondered if
she had made the best decision confronting her
fearful husband.

>>

149 off 44 balls from AB Devilliers! And you still get some ex-players saying the game was better in the 70s and 80s!Related

A beautiful saying:
The past is to prove that no one is perfect and the future is to prove that everyone can change.Related

Must Read: The Magnificent
Brothers…




*A Story written by Best…*






PROLOGUE
Life isn’t a bed of roses, it is said the
action
of humans set the wheel of fate in motion.
Life can hurt so bad, despite the pains the
torture, misery and struggle. I finally
realized i am a
survivor,
MEET KELVIN
A tall dark handsome boy, who is full of life,
he is the last child of his parents
He is one of the brilliant students in Senior
secondary school (S.S.S) one of the most
populated school in xyz, Which is known for
its notoriety and moral decadence.
He is in ss2, art class and the assistant
prefect.
I know u will be surprise why he was made
an assistant Prefect in SSS 2,
It was because of his exceptional brilliance.
he is an introvert.
MEET UCHE,
(KELVIN elder brother)
A fair handsome boy who is very intelligent,
and he is known for his notorious behavior.
In SS1 he Leeds his school to a fight against
another school,
And he has the reputation of being a
philanderer
Even with this bad behavior he is regarded as
one of the most intelligent student in SSS 3
science department.
Some people say it’s hereditary, CU’s his
father was a professor before he died.
MEET MISS AZUKA
(UCHE and KELVINS mother)
A hardworking woman, who is faced with
responsibility since the death of her husband.
She has this optimism of sending her children
to university CU’s she is an educated woman.
She is a nurse in a private hospital.
Since the death of her husband, she
withdrawn her children from private school
CU’s she was not financially buoyant enough
to pay their outrageous fee.
MEET CYNTHIA
(Kelvin’s best friend and his class mate.)
A beautiful, kind hearted calabar girl.
She is very intelligent, art department, and she
is fun too be with, she is an extrovert.
MEET DANIEL
( UCHE’S’ best friend)
An average student, he is well knows for his
cruelty , “drop dead gorgeouse”U can
describe him as Brain okpera look alike. he is
a flirt, because of his goodlooks , girls
worship on his feet, he has numerous girl
friends but none are his is real girl friend.
S.S.S which stands for Senior secondary
school is a government school known for
it’s outrageous number of students and for
its notoriety.
Kelvin side of the story
(Wednesday 6am)
I woke up early in the morning, every where
was dark and quit like a grave yard.
I brought out my government note book to
revise because we have government text
today.
About 30 minutes later I was done so I went
to check up on uche in his room, I saw him
reading chemistry text book.
Hmmmmmm bad intelligent boy, that whats
most teachers called him in school.
I left his room and went to the bath room to
take my bath about 10 minutes I was done.
I came out and put on my well iron uniform,
I look the standard mirror in my room I smile
at my reflection
Hmmm not bad I said to my self.
I went to uche room again, this time I saw
him playing temple run on his Android.
Guy u no go bafh abi u no dey go school
today.
Abeg free me, u no say me no dey do that
thing way ena they call assembly
Okay oo but know say na Mr peter dey flog
oo.
E dey chop bottle abeg dey go ur school
unless u won join me come late.
I left his room, I check my mum room but
she was still sleeping. So I left her room and
I walk outside
We live in 3 bed room apartment, it was
built by my father when he was alive.
I stop at the bike pack, I would have walk
but time is not on my side and besides I am
a disciplinary prefect so I want to show
good example to my fellow students so I
took a bike to my school I stop at the
entrance gate I paid the bike man and I walk
inside.
The school compound just look so serene
because most students haven’t come yet.
I walk to my to my class, drop my bag on
my sit brought out my government , I was
revising before the time keeper rang the bell
for Assembly, so we went out side.
People started Lining up except for the
prefects.
Like the head boy victor okoro, he is known
for his mighty head, rumors has it that is
head is too big that why he is very
intelligent, because they will be enough
space to store information
And he is known for his ruthless behaviour
amongst his fellow students.
Assistant head boy Michael Joseph, he is a
gentle boy, he is the opposite of victor in
terms of character and he is also intelligent.
Head girl Deborah okafor she is known for
her beauty, she Is a little bit fair but I will
rather call her tone because that’s the new
colour on bode now. ( abi girls I lie?) she is
the most beautiful girl in S.S.S (Senior
secondary school) she is not intelligent ,
she is just average, people says her post
was base on favouritism because she is the
principal daughter and only child.
Assistant head girl, favour ibobo a calabar
girl, she has this calabar tongue, she is not
beautiful but she is the most intelligent girl
in her class.
Disciplinary prefect Adam Mohammad if I
say he is wicked is an understatement CU’s
Adam is barbaric, cruel, ruthless, he is a
tyrant.
his father is a military man. He is very
intelligent but he never joke. Rumors has it
that no body have seen him smile before
even his parents.
That why he is the best man for the job.
Assistant disciplinary prefect, you already
know me, I dont need any introduction.
NOTE: all the prefect are in ss3 except me
because I am exceptionally intelligent



To Be Continued…


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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There was a man that loved baked beans, but they always gave him horrible gas. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she’ll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans, and they eventually married.

A few months later, on his birthday and on the way home from work, his car broke down. Since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk home. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk He figured he could walk off any ill effects before he got home. It was, after all, his birthday. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had 3 extra large helpings of baked beans.

All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe. His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, “Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!” She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peak. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she went to answer the phone. While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg left out in the sun for a week. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and RRIIPPP !!! It sounded like the hammer of Thor crashing to Earth and smelled like a corpse in a outhouse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table started to wilt.

With his blindfold still on, when he heard the phone farewells he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, “SURPRISE!!!”

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.Related

GUESS AND WIN [Read it]


Who Could Guess The Next Country Our President
Will Visit... Get It Right And Stand The Chance Of
Winning A Litre Of Fuel...I Said Stand The
Chance Of Winning O #wink


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-25 15:47:59

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