Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Even the smallest of stars shines in the darkness.

~ Swedish ProverbRelated

Happy Eid-el-Fitri To All Muslims On
nairajokes.com
facebook.com/9jastudentforum #B-goF
#AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-07-06 05:04:21

228 Views




Morning doesn’t mean getting up & working again. It rather means GOD luvs U so much that He lets U live another day to do more good things.Related

A young girl visited her elder sister.
The married elder sister rushed to the market to buy some food stuff.
The junior sister was relaxing in the sitting room with her legs widely open.
Suddenly, Akpos the elder sister’s husband who was drunk staggered in.
“Wooooo! What am I seeing!” Screamed Akpos.
“Is me Kate”
“Such a natural creature” he added.
“Thank you”
“So fresh and attractive” he admires.
“Just wish I can have a taste of that”
The girl replied “hmmm yeah! But you have to give me some money”
“wooooo! No problem”
As she started undressing herself, Akpos drop N200 and picked 3 fingers of the banana on her table and left.

One word for Akpos

HAPPY SUNDAY


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-25 08:44:09

4009 Views




A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum;

A kiss isn’t a kiss, without some tongue.

So open your mouth & close your eyes;

And give your tongue some exercise.Related

When the solution is simple, God is answering.

-Albert EinsteinRelated

Long time ago omopikin usually disturb his neighbour by pressing their door bell and run away till it got faulty and he press it and it shocked him and he decided that not only him was going to get the electric shock so he called his short friend to press the bell, he was not able to reach it so he him carried him up guess what happened?? Hmmm omopikin became short and his friend became teller with black faces


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-22 20:58:38

767 Views




The white woman stared at me
surprised when she came out and
found me standing at her gate and
crying.
I had knocked three consecutive
times and it was after the 3rd
knock that she came out.
There was surprise and worry
written all over her face and she
stared at me for a while before
advancing closer.
“Please I need your help ma,” I
begged as she drew nearer.
The tears falling from my eyes and
the fact that I was crying must
have induced compassion in her
and she came close and asked me
what the
problem was.
I told her that my madam
maltreated me and nearly killed me
and I ran out of the house.
She asked me who my madam
was and I told her and she
instantly remembered the last
encounter and sighed.
She told me that there wasn’t
much she could do and that she
had come to realise that the
country was too corrupt and even
if she arrested my madam like she
did the other time,
someone would still grant her bail
and the problem would not be
addressed.
I noticed without being told that
she wasn’t willing to let me into
her house because all the while I
was standing outside the gate.
She advised me to go back to the
house and apologise to my
madam and be careful not to find
her trouble again.
With that she left me at the gate
and went inside.
I was devastated and confused on
what to do.
Going back to the house meant
doom for me.
I didn’t have any other place to go
either.
I stood at the gate thinking of
what to do. I’ve never been more
confused in my life.
So I decided to remain at the gate
even if it meant sleeping outside.
But then I thought of the
insecurity in the neighbourhood.
All these rough boys living around
would be more happy to accost
me later in the night and rape me
mercilessly.
The more I thought of these, the
more
confused I became.
The day was too long to go. The
time was around 10 o’clock in the
morning and I didn’t know how to
keep busy and for how long.
So I decided to go back to the
house.
I swung our gate open and went
inside. I was very afraid and
expected the worst.
I climbed the steps infront of the
door fearfully and tiptoed towards
the door and pushed it gently to
discover that it was firmly locked.
With the last drop of courage in
me I knocked on the door and got
no response.
I knocked again and again yet no
response.
By the fourth knock the door
gently opened and madam stood
aside for me to enter.
“Please I’m sorry ma,” I
apologised at the door kneeling
down.
“Won’t you come inside first?”
Madam asked abruptly and I
quickly obeyed.
As soon as I went in, madam
locked the door firmly behind me
and I looked and saw the long
piece of wire dangling from her left
hand.
Then she turned towards me.
It was the whistling sound of the
wire that I heard and before I
could say “Jack” it had circled my
neck.
Madam knew no mercy.
She flogged and flogged and
flogged me with the wire that I
almost felt I was dying.
I screamed and screamed yet
there was no relief. Infact madam
was determined to kill me that
morning.
The whistling sound of the wire
continued lash after lash
producing as much pain as the
welder desired as the wire whizzed
through the air and landed on me.
Each lash left a peculiar scar on
my skin as the flogging continued.
At a point the pain became so
unbearable and I passed out…


Drop your comments below








NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Frozen windows [Read it]


Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold morning: Windows are totally frozen, will not open.

Husband replies: “Carefully pour some warm water over it and tap the edges first with your hand, if that doesn’t work, then gently with a hammer.”

15 minutes later, the wife texts back: “Oh no, I think the laptop is now totally gone.”



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-06-19 08:12:28

547 Views



Exams question [Read it]



.
Exams question: Draw the female reproduction organ.
As the exams was on-going,a girl looked
between her legs. A Fulani boy saw her and shouted.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Sir, she is copying from the original!"......


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-22 14:09:06

281 Views



Akpos & Pastor [Read it]


During a church service, a Pastor say 2 d men; Pastor: if u knw ur wife z beautiful come out & sow a wonderful seed. many men come out & drop N10000, N30000, N80000 etc... bt a guy name Akpos come out & drop a mare N5 into the offering box. The Pastor check it & shouted Mr Akpos is ur wife nt beautiful, why did u come & drop a mare N5? Akpos reply: Pastor meeeee if u see my wife in case u go give me change! One word 4 this guy?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-03 21:32:52

544 Views



Motion Sickness [Read it]


Santa and Banta are discussing the possibility of love. “I thought I was in love three times,” Santa says.
“Thought…?” Banta asks. “What do you mean?”
“Three years ago, I cared very deeply for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me,” Santa says.
“Wasn’t that love?” Banta asks.
“No, that was obsession,” Santa explains. “Then two years ago, I cared very deeply for an attractive woman who didn’t understand me.”
“Wasn’t that love?” asks Banta.
“No, that was lust,” Santa replies. “And just last year, I met a woman while I was on a cruise. She was gorgeous, intelligent, a great conversationalist and had a super sense of humor. Everywhere I followed her on that ship, I would get a very strange sensation in the pit of my stomach.”
“Well, wasn’t that love,” asks Banta.
“No. That was motion sickness!” Santa replies.Related

E get one particular restaurant wey i dey chop 4
G.R.A and E get one oyinbo wey dey always come
chop
there too...Anytime dis oyinbo chop finish, he go
shout ''Hey'', so I wonder wetin dey make am
shout. I decided to chop wetin d oyinbo dey always chop so maybe me sef go shout too . When
I reach d restaurant yesterday evening, I order
wetin d man dey chop. Dem tell me say na chicken
& red wine, so i chop am, but i no shout, I collect
extra plate join, but i no still shout. I say dis oyinbo na

mumu o, why e dey always shout like dat now? Na then i just vex ask 4
my bill make I Commot for dat place fast. The waiter bring bill tell me
say one plate of chicken & red wine na # 75,000
then d extra plate too na another #75,000. Na
then I shout hey! heyy!! heyyy!!! ......!!!!
heyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyy... ........ I still
dey shout till now oooo.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-11 13:35:51

200 Views



8 points agenda [Read it]


If I Becomes Nigeria's President, my 8 points
agenda will be:
1. I am going to make sure any guy or girl
who breaks
each other's heart will spend 20 years in jail.
2. No man is entitled to more than one wife.
3. Any guy without 6 packs or any girl
without figure
8 (enough front and back) will have to
relocate to Iran
or Iraq for survival.
4. No work on Mondays.
5. You must not have more than 2 kids.
6. If you are married and you are not paying
attention to your wife or husband, you will
be jailed until you
change.
7. Every cheating man or
woman must be kept in a zoo for 2 months.
8. No sex until you seek permission from
your local
Government Chairman. and it's once per
month. Will you vote for me?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-01 06:24:06

305 Views





General: Hello! May I know you?
Caller (Akpos): sorri I want to
speak wit Joy sir.
General: I said who are u & what
for?
Akpos: hmmm (after he
understood d situation @ hand),
Okay Sir, I am FRANK EDOHO
from WHO WANTS TO BE A
MILLIONAIRE. Joy's friend is
presently on hot seat and needs
her help to answer a question for
2Million Naira. So the next voice
you hear after is her's, the time
starts now....... General: ooh am
very sorry!!! Joy! ,Joy!! Pls take ur
phone ur friend needs ur
help...........
Akpos: The question is, when are
you coming tomorrow? A.
Morning, B. Afternoon, C.Evening,
D. Night.
Joy: D. Night.
Akpos: Are you sure? Final
answer?.... Joy: yes am very sure!
Akpos: okay, greet that yeye
father of urs for me..define akpos


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-11 09:39:03

326 Views




There is a saying that 'there is nothing new under
heaven'
On the contrary, you are unique so you are new.
If you are yet to discover your uniqueness its time
to start
Never underestimate your strength. Guess what the world is waiting & you are actually rendering
some people jobless.
Take the bold step and become what God wants
you to be...... #me don talk my own#lobatan#AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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During sex education class:
Teacher: Wat do u call a man who doesn’t use CONDOMS?All students simultaneously shouted:
.
.
DADDY DADDY DADDY !Related

Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a little girl coming towards him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading. The girl came up to him and asked, “What do you have under the newspaper, mister?”
“A bird,” the guy replied.


The little girl walked away and the guy fell asleep. When he woke up, he was in a hospital in tremendous pain. When the Police asked him what happened, the guy replied, “I don`t know. I was laying on the beach, this girl asked me about my privates, and the next thing I know is I`m here.”


Police went back to the beach, found the girl, and asked her “What did you do to that naked fellow?”


After a little pause, the girl replied, “To him? Nothing. I was playing with the bird and it spit on me, so I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire.”Related

Akpos Dad [Read it]



My dad and my mum were watching
one American movie yesterday evening,
when I heard the sound from the movie,
I decided to join them, as we were
watching the movie, a young boy like my age started
romancing his madam's sister,
they kissed and when the guy's hand
crossed the girl’s private part,
I looked straight into my dad’s eyes and
I noticed that his eyes has changed, then all my
attention went straight to the video.
They were still kissing, when they both
fell into the chair close to them I knew
something was about to happen and the guy
was about to open the girl's bra ...
when MY DADDY looked at me with hard eyes
and shouted with a loud voice
“Akpos, haveyou iron the car”??



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-26 13:52:44

18089 Views



Welcome [Read it]


Pls friends am new here, i need ur welcome msg.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-11 14:34:12

576 Views




Pappu: Ma’m, I want to go to the toilet.

Teacher: I want to hear A-Z from you before I let you go.

Pappu: ABCDEFGHIJKLMN_ _QRS_UVWX_Z!

Teacher: Where is P, O, T, Y?

Pappu: In my shorts.Related

Wicked Uncle [Read it]


SOME UNCLES CAN BE WICKED!!!!

Musa was working in the farm when a scorpion bit his finger. He came home crying and told his uncle about it. The neighbors advised that Musa should put his finger inside his uncle's wife's private part, to neutralize the poison. Indeed it worked. After 3 days, Musa was healed. A week later he came home again crying that a scorpion has bitten his penis. His uncle watched him angrily and shouted, 'Nonsense! You are mad! This time you will die!!!
????????????????????????????


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-03-30 23:45:34

326 Views



BIBLE JOURNEY [Read it]


I went to Genesis workshop through Exodus road. On the way, I saw
Leviticus recording the Numbers of people at Deuteronomy, while Joshua
was waiting at the beautiful gate for Judges to see Ruth calling loudly
"Samuel, Samuel."



At a stage, the first and second Kings of Chronicles were coming to
visit Ezra, Nehemiah and Esther for the misfortune of Job, their
brother. Then they noticed that Mr. Psalms was teaching his children
Proverbs concerning Ecclesiastes and Songs of Solomon. This coincided
with the period that Isaiah and Jeremiah were engaged in Lamentation for
Ezekiel and Daniel their friend. By that time, Amos and Obadiah were
not around.



Three days later, Hosea, Joel and Jonah travelled in the same ship with
Micah and Nahum to Jerusalem. Habakkuk then visited Zephaniah who
introduced him to Haggai a friend of Zechariah whose cousin is Malachi.



Immediately after the old tradition, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John got
involved in Acts with the Romans who were behaving like the Corinthians,
who were also always at loggerhead with the Galatians. At that time
too, the Ephesians realizing that the Philippians were close to the
Colossians, suggested to the Thessalonians that they should first of all
see Timothy who had gone to the house of Titus to teach Philemon his
younger brother how to read and write in Hebrew.



On hearing this, James asked Peter to explain to him how the three Johns have disclosed to Jude, the Revelation of my journey.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-28 08:21:39

317 Views



China Product [Read it]


In the begining, God created the heaven and the earth... After that, everything else was made in China.....


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-04 16:34:27

1035 Views




1. Agar aap Black Goggles, pistol aur fuddu se Coat mein apna DP set karte hai to aap cool nahi @aapchutiyehain.


2. Mall ke andar shades pehen kar ghoomne wale, jo apne aap aapko dude samajhte hain krupa dhyan de Aap dude nahi @AapChutiyeHain.


3. Daru pi ke har jagah ulti karne wale “experienced” drinker, everybody at the party knows ki @AapChutiyeHain.


4. Agar aap apni crush se uske paanch baar please bolne pe rakhi bandhwane ko tayyar ho jaate hain, toh kasam Rakhi Sawant ki, @AapChutiyeHain.


5. Apne birthdayy pe party nahi dene wale dost, agar aaj mere birthday pe party maangte ho to, aapke birthday cake pe bhi yahi likha hoga @aapchutiyehain.


6. Agar apko lagta hai ki Office Mail mein ‘As soon as possible’ likhne se kaam jaldi ho jaayega, toh MS Outlook ki kasam @AapChutiyeHain.


7. Agar aap GYM ke liye 40k ‘upfront’ dete hain or 1st floor ke liye bhi lift ka upyog kartey hain toh Adnaan Saami bhi kahega @AapChutiyeHain.


8. Agar aap bhari hui Mumbai local mein ipad nikaal ke temple run khelne khade ho jaate hein toh Steve jobs bhi kahega @AapChutiyeHain.


9. Agar aap apni splendour ka silencer nikalwa ke sochte hai ab wo sports bike type lagegi toh mechanic bhi kahega @AapChutiyeHain.Related

Girl= Janu So Jao Na Dekho Rat Ke 2 Baj Rahy Hain.,



B0y= Neend Nahi Aa Rahi.,



Girl= Jan Q Itna Sochty Ho Mere Bary Mein,

Itna Pyar Karty Ho Mujh Sey.

Main Tumhari Hi To Hoon.,



B0y=

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Oye chal ja apna kam kar Chudail …

Mujhe “PAPER” ki Tension Lagi padhi hai

or tujhe apni Ishaq kiRelated

An Igbo man had an accident wit his new BMW X6,he called a police officer &said: this man
just come smash off d door of my BMW! My 6Million car is now condemned!. The police
officer shakes his head in
amazement &said, U Igbo's re so materialistic, u didn't even realize dat ur hand has been cut
off. The igbo man looks @ his amputated hand & screams: chinekeme !! Where is my Rolex?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-13 22:25:50

422 Views




Written by Fajuyigbe Samuel (08136824501)

Milk in the hands of the tyrant

A long tym ago, in the western part of
Nigeria,was a village known as OROPO. As
the name implies, the village possessed a
large scale of land. This land of OROPO was
“flowing with milk and honey”. The land could
grow any kind of crop, the yield every year
was bountiful not to talk of the animals in d
forest that makes any hunter who ventures
into the forest happy, because he knows he
going to have a big catch. Clean water from
various rivers and streams were not
exceptions of the natural endowment of
OROPO village.
But the people of this village suffered from a
tyrant king. He was known as OBA
ADEAGBO.
Adeagbo will always say to himself; “my
fathers fought for this land, where were their
fathers” he will boostfully say. “all the farm
animals, forest animals, farm products infact
everything belongs to me Adeagbo,
whatsoever I want will I give to the people
and that’s whenever I want it”. He will
always laugh after saying this loudly in his
beautiful, well-decorated and big palace. He
had only one chief, definitely it will be his
beautiful wife ADESEWA. Adesewa took after
her husband, she was so proud and arrogant.
ADESEWA was the controller of all the
women at that time. She had hundreds of
girls as her servants. Adesewa was cruel too,
seizing daughters to become servants,
beheading men who went against her wishes
and so many abominable things she did to
her people. The people suffered from this
royal couple for a long time.
(What is the solution to the problem of these
helpless people…hmmm…who knows…).
At the extreme end of the village which
serves as a border between OROPO and the
NEXT village called ARAROMI, lived a farmer
and young lady that happened to be the wife
of the farmer. The farmer’s name was
OGUNDELE and his wife, FOLASHADE.
This
couple were a bit comfortable than any other
family in the village because DELE practised a
large scale in Araromi which was close to his
house but pretends to be cultivating a small
plot of maize beside the house so that the
king’s guards will not know anything about
his survival.
A faithful day, Dele went to perform farm
practices on his land in Araromi village. Dele
was a very strong and hard working young
man.
As soon as he got there, of a surprise
to him, the clouds began to change,
everything was becoming dark looking as if it
wants to rain. Dele was feeling dizzy heavily
to the extent that he fell to the ground at
some point.
Dele’s eyes began to close when
he observed that spirits were coming out of
the surrounding trees……(What happened to
Dele? Were the spirits after Dele? Why were
they after Dele?…that’s what we will get to
know in the next episode. Bye for now…)

To Be Continued.....

>> Part 2 -

babies [Read it]


A child asked his father, "How were people born?"
So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies,
then their babies became adults and made babies,
and so on." The child then went to his mother,
asked her the same question and she told him,
"We were monkeys then we evolved to become like
we are now." The child ran back to his father and
said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your
mom was talking about her side of the family."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-05 14:00:29

218 Views




The Sultan of a great city was annoyed by the cheats and liars who entered his gates and caused trouble. He therefore set soldiers at all entrances. The soldiers were under orders to hang those who lied about their purpose for wishing to enter.


The Mulla Nasruddin saddled his donkey and rode to the city.


At the gate a guard stopped him and asked his purpose in wishing to enter and warned him that a lie would result in his being hanged.


“This is good for I have come to be hanged.” said Nasruddin.


“You are a liar and will certainly hang!” said the guard


“Then you know I have spoken the truth and should not be hanged.” said Nasruddin.Related

For sale [Read it]


Latest ride in town for sale







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-23 21:33:37

676 Views



Confession! [Read it]


A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
“You will understand,” he said, “the seal of the confessional, can never be broken. However, I got my first impressions of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I can only hint vaguely about this, but when I came here twenty-five years ago I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had stolen a television set, and when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. Further, he told me he had embezzled money from his place of business and had an affair with his boss’s wife. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that, and I had, indeed come to, a fine parish full of understanding and loving people.”
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk.
“I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in this parish,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.”Related

AKPORS WAS WATCHING A NIGERIA FILM WHERE BAD BOYS WENT TO ROB A RICH MAN. THERE WAS THIS THING THEY CALL SIGN OF DANGER LIKE A HORROFYING MUSIC RYTHM. GANN GAN, GAN GAN GAN...TONTON ... ETC.

THE FOLLOWING NIGHT, AKPORS CARRY HIS TOY GUN AND WENT ALSO TO ROB. AS HE REACH WHERE HE IS TO THIEF, HE REMEMBER THE SOUND OF DANGER I N THE FILM THAT HE WATCH, HE START TO SHOUT GAN N GAN, GAN GAN GAN, GAN GAN, GAN GAN GAN...TUROLU TULULU. ETC.

GUESS WHAT WILL HAPPENS TO AKPORS THE NEXT FEW MINUTES. NO INSULTS PLS


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-08 20:52:00

854 Views



most stupid [Read it]


there were 2 men whose names are mr ojo nd mr okon.they were arguing which of their sons is more stupid dan d other. .
mr ojo: my son is stupid dan ur son.
mr okon: is a lie mine is more stupid dan ur own son.they both came 2 an agreement of putting their sons to test which one is more stupid dan d other....mr ojo called his son nd asked him 2 go nd buy him sumtin 4rm d market nd his son ran without asking wat 2 buy or money.nd mr ojo said can u c hw stupid he is?nd mr okon said do u call dat stupidity? watch this.mr okon called his own son nd said akpos go nd check if I am at home nd his son took 2 his heel nd came back panting...
akpos: papa u no dy house mama say u go ur friend place.

so guyz which 1 stupid pass


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-04 20:45:50

452 Views




It was like a renewed love between me and
Biola, we go to work together in the morning
and do go to pick her up in the office later in
the evening. There was no free chance at all
for me, it was a total close marking from
Biola, she want to know who called me, who am calling and all the contacts on my
phonebook that are females. Who will even
blame her and I dare even not hide anything
for her again.
We visited my parent the following Sunday to
appreciate their support and what they did for us. My parent was happy that Biola is
becoming their wife most especially my mum.
It was a good funfair at home that very day.
Dad: So my boy, what is your plan now
Me: Plan as how sir
Dad: Regarding your marriage to Biola? Don’t you know that you guys shouldn’t wait long
again or you want her to get pregnant before
doing the necessary things again
Me: No sir, we are giving it a serious thought
sir and you know the decision is not ours
alone Dad: so, who else is involve…we your parent
are minor issue now
Me: Yes, but the issue is with Biola’s parent.
Have not seen them ever since that incident
happened and they are not even aware that
we are back together. Left to me if they are aware, I would have even love us to do the
introduction as early as next month so that
there wont be room for issues again
Dad: Biola should have been the one to
explain things to them now
Me: She’s scared of their reaction even though she told me she hinted her mum about our
situation but her response was not that
possible and you know his dad is a strict
military man that even threatened me that
time that he doesn’t want to see me near his
daughter again Dad: Its normal that time as no parent will
take it lightly with any guy that behaved like
that to their daughter
Me: We are just putting everything in the hand
of God and you sir
Dad: me ke? Me: Yes daddy..you and mom
Dad: Why our hand?
Me: Am thinking if we can go together to their
house nextweek. At least they will soft pedal
seeing my parent come with me rather than
go alone Mum: When you were causin the problem, did
you remember us?
Biola: Ahn..ahn mummy….please now
Dad: Don’t mind them, that’s how children of
nowadays behave. They wont know when they
are causing the problem but when everything boomeranged, they will run back to their
parent
Me: Ehnnn dad, atleast is you elders that do
say that someones child can never be so
stubborn that you will chase him to the tiger
for dinner Mum: Ahhhhh..omo deyi ma npowe ke?
Biola: Ahnn..ahnnn Mummy
Dad: Don’t mind him…..Do we have ay plan for
next weekend mummy Ola
Mum: uhmmmmmm, Saturday is victoria’s
wedding but I don’t think we have anywhere we are going on Sunday
Dad: Ohk…Biola, will your parent be around on
Sunday
Biola: yes, they should be…………..
Dad: No problem, we will come on Sunday……
Please inform them Biola: Please Sir, I cant inform them oooo..its
better to be a surprise cos they might want to
go out if they know you are coming most
especially Dad. You know he’s still bitter
about the whole issue.
Me: I think it will be better as a surprise Mum: what if they now decide to go out..
Biola: I will be giving you feedback about their
movement on Sunday sir
Dad: So we should be like a watch
guard….tailing the movement of your parent
Mum: Don’t mind them….. Me: Please now Daddy
Biola: mummy Please now…Please do this for
us
Mum: Daddy…please lets consider them
Dad: Ohk oo…atleast you have learnt your own
mistake now Biola: Ahhhh Dad, he has over learn sef
Me: Shut up jhoor…na u dem dey follow talk?
E concern u..papa and son dey talk and you
dey put mouth
Mum: get away jhoor…make she no put
mouth. Biola, lets go and continue our own discussion in the kitchen.
Biola: Yes Ma
They both left for the kitchen , me and my dad
continue to gist. It was there and then he
started gisting me about his own youthful age
as it relate to what happened to me. He narrated what happened between my mum
and him, how he was dating someone before
my mum and it was a serious competition
between both babes way back them but he
was wise enough to be using preventive
measure and not allow his deek dictate how he ended up with his life. “so how did you
ended up with my mum?” I asked…….Your
mum? Don’t mind her, she was smarter than
me but not to the extent of Mary. That is why
she couldn’t do much about Mary as she
believe its somehow genetic, she think maybe things will work out perfect between you guys
just like ours but she has forgotten that girls
of nowadays can go the the extreme to
achieve whatever they wanted………We both
laughed at it
Mum: What are you guys laughing at? I know you are discussing about us…Aproko, daddy
and son
Me: ahn..ahn mum, we are only gisting
Mum: ohk ooo..you guys should come to the
dinning..food is ready.
After spending another two hours with my parent, we decided to leave around 6pm but
our first point of call was Biola’s house to pick
one or two things. We got to the gate entered
the compound and saw Emma, Kayode and
two other guys since the incident with Mary
happened……


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Nigeria Mother [Read it]


Nigerian Mothers You Know Your Mother Is A Nigerian... When you say, "Mummy, I'm Sorry!" And she replies, "Sorry for yourself!" When you ask her where you should drop something and she says, “Drop it on my head." When she brings food wrapped in a nylon bag from a party. When you say, ''Mummy, I have fever.” And she replies you, “Why won't you have fever when you press phone every day.” When you say, “Mummy I took 2nd in my class.” and she replies, “So the person that took first has two heads abi?” When she takes the dstv remote to work, just to punish you. When you are watching television with her and then she sleeps off and still doesn’t want you to change the channel. If when you tell her you are going to a friend's place and she asks, ''When last did that friend come here to play with you?" When she asks you if the food is enough, and you reply no, and she says, "Come and eat her join." When she tells you, "If I hear Peem, you will hear ween!" When she touches hot pot comfortably without a cloth or paper. When with one look she tells you, "You will get the beating of your life when you get home." When you say, ''I want to die!" And she says, ''You will not die in Jesus name!" When she tells you, ''I didn't kill my mother, so you will not kill me''. When she calls you from your room upstairs and then sends you back upstairs to bring her purse. When you ask her to help you with your homework and she says, ''Go and meet your sister.'' You then say, ''So Mummy you don’t even know it.'' And she replies, ''It is your daddy’s family members that doesn't know it.'' When you ask her to refund the money you borrowed her and she tells you, "All the food you have been eating in the house nkor? Which money did you think was used in buying them?''. You can add More Reasons Why your Mother is a Nigerian Below.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-17 11:47:49

689 Views




:::::::*******::::::::::
I sighed tiredly as I rested my head on maria's laps, we just
came back from Ibadan,- she'd taken me to see my Father's
people.
"that's how it happened o." she concluded her half-heard
story.
"hmm" I closed my eyes.
"If you want to sleep, lie down properly now." she said
adjusting my position.
"Grandma, you'll be staying with us koh?" Eniola asked.
"Yes, for a while o, I'l be going back to Ibadan." She
explained.
"No maami, I don't want you to go, please stay with me." I
pleaded with her
"Me too.." Eniola pouted.
"see this children o." Maria laughed
"Okay I'll stay small oo"
"Yeeee!" Eniola hugged her.
"Mummy, lemme go and play with Tola?" she asked me.
I nodded.
"Don't injure yourself o" Maria cooed after her.
"Teju omo mi, there's something I want us to discuss,
though I know, it might sound some how..." she hesitated.
"Uhum?" I shut my eyes.
"Teju, don't sleep, let's talk please." she shook me.
"Okay, tejumola is all ears." I laughed sitting up.
"My dear, you know, every mother wants something good
for her child..." she began.
"As a child progresses in life, there are different things he or
she needs to do..." she hesitated.
"hmm." I wondered where all the sermon's were coming
from.
"Teju, let me ask you, how old are you?"
"24 na!" I chuckled.
"Good, according to the societal law, you are supposed to
be in your husbands house..." she paused to see my facial
expression.
I gave her a deep frown.
"this style of you living alone, fending for your self is not
just it, you need a man in your life Teju. A man who would
take good care of you." she explained.
I mumbled some words.
"Ehn? What did you say? Abi the men are not coming?" she
searched my eyes.
I looked away. Left for me, I would never marry.
"Take David for example, I mean, Eniola's father. The boy
seems to be all over you, ehn? You don't need a future teller
to tell you he wants you..." she was beginning to sound
excited.
"hmmm Maami, you read meanings into things o, I and
David are just close cos of Eniola, if not, I have no deal with
him." I began to say.
"Heehn! You think I'm blind? The way he use to talk to you,
the way he use to..."
"Maami...ah!" I cut her short.
"All I want from you is to consider him." she said
adamantly.
"Ehn! I've heard, can I sleep now?" I rolled my eyes.
"omo yi...hmn, Your still stubborn, when will you change?"
she laughed lying down beside me.
"Well that's when my name changes from Tejumola." I
laughed with her.
Soon Maria was fast asleep, but I remained awake.
Different thoughts flooded my mind.
She wanted me to get married, sure that's right.
But I don't think I'm ready to take any poo from some
Adam's generation...
Talking about David, he's putting up some moves recently.
Those unnecessary things he would buy, knowing too well
I'd use them, The regular shoppings all in the name of
shopping for Eniola. I know he'd give anything to have us
together, but I just can't bring myself to accept that.
Tejumola isn't that cheap!
"Mummy! Daddy is here!" Eniola yelled from outside.
"Daddy what did you buy for me? Ehn?" she asked loudly.
" Mummy see ooo" she bashed into the room.
I jumped up swiftly, adjusted my dress.
"Hy." I greeted David as he walked in.
"Hy hy Hy...that's a nice dress." he made to hug me.
"Thanks." I backed away.
He shrugged
"Mummy, see, my daddy bought me ice cream, chocolate,
and...and...and..." she sounded happy.
"And samosa." David helped her out.
"Samosa! What kind of name is that one?" Eniola laughed.
"Grandma see!" Eniola told Maria who was exchanging
pleasantries with David.
"Oma se oooo, ah! Daddy Eniola thank you o." Maria said to
the amusement of Eniola.
I shifted from one feet to another, I could feel David's eyes
boring into me. This man should stop looking at me na! I
frowned.
"Did I tell you I love that dress?" David asked not minding
Maria was listening.
I grimaced.
"Actually, I came to see you...we've gat some talks to do."
he wore one of those seductive smiles.
Don't even waste your time o! I wanted to tell him.
He walked gently to the door
"I'd be waiting outside."
I nodded, waited for sometime, before following him.
CATCH THE FINAL EPISODE BY 8PM.
WHAT ARE YOUR VIEWS,CRITICS AND OPINIONS ON THE
STORY SO FAR?
GUESS WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN NEXT



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Pappu ko Heart ki bimari thi….
..
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Doctor ne namak na khane ki
salah di…
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.
. .
Pappu ki biwi hamesha pappu
khayal
rakhne lagi….
.
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. Pappu bhi bahot sawdhani
rakhne
laga….
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Samay pe khana, sona, uthna,
dr. ki batai exercise
karna, .
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khane mein namak
bilkul na
lena,..
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regular aur samay pe dawayi
lena…
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Par achanak ek din subah wo
pappu
bathroom ke darwaje pe mara
hua
mila…
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Sab hairan the ki itni
sawdhani ke
baad aisa kaise ho gaya..??.
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Post martam ki report aayi to
pataa
chala….
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. Uske Toothpaste mein
‘Namak’ tha…
.
.
.
Kya aapke toothpaste mein
namak hai.. ??Related

MEN!!!!!!! MEN!!!!!!!. So complicated so
confusing so hard to please if u try to please
them u are cheap if you love them you are
too emotional if you don't you are playing
hard to get if you give them attention you
are bugging them if you dnt you are with
another man if you demand for attention you
are a nagging woman if you don't you are not
understandable if u dress sexy u are
attracting other men if you don't you are
local if u wash their cloth and cook you are
desperate if you don't you are not a wife
material if you are beautiful you can't stay
with one man if you are ugly you are not
presentable if you independent you are
chasing men away if you are not you are a
liability if you are pregnant you want to trap
them if you are not you must hv damage your
womb so #WHAT DO MEN REALLY WANT? #ForTheLadies #B-goF #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related
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