Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


One day a pastor is preaching in the
church and he tell somebody to
read bible from the book of psalm
23:5 which says EVEN DO AS I WALK
THROUGH THE VALLEY SHADOWS OF
DEATH I SHALL NOT FEAR. as the pastor was preaching he saw
akpors sleeping he say that he
should read the last verse that was
read Akpors stand up and say AS I
WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY
SHADOWS OF DEATH I COME DEY WONDER WETIN CARRY ME GO THERE
I DEY CRAZE....the pastor was
shocked by the reading.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-25 15:46:29

328 Views




God÷hello Lucifer
lucifer÷ allmighty i will call u back here is problem I have to handle
God÷ok
after 10 hours de devil call
lucifer÷jehovah god (breathing fastly)
God÷wat?
lucifer÷de problem I told u abut as turn into crisis
God÷wat happen?
Lucifer+de nigerians in hell are causing havoc ..dey qunch de fire and installed air conditionals ...dey also beat up my demons and chase dem into hiding (breathing heavily) pls I need ur help
God+no no no I can't help u cus u deceive dem not to follow me xo get out


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-23 14:58:11

520 Views




Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. Time will pass anyway.

Good Morning!Related

Stop saying, ‘I wish’. Start saying ‘I will’.Related

Teenage Love. [Read it]


**PART ONE**
CHAPTER 1…….
It was a bright saturday morning
on the 7th of september 2013.
Akinola oluwasegun was walking
along a popular street in Ibadan,
Oyo state. He was dressed in a
white T-shirt and a black pant
trouser and a black vickers shoe.
He was on his way to Loyola
College, a government owned
secondary school around Agodi
gate GRA Ibadan for his WAEC GCE
exam.
He entered into the school
compound and walked towards
the school building. Being his
first paper English Language, he
had no idea of where the
examination hall was situated.
So, he had to ask for help from
other candidates who had come
the previous days for chemistry
practicals and Commerce. He
walked up to a girl seated on the
staircase reading to ask for the
help.
“Hello, good morning.” he
greeted.
“Good morning.” she replied.
“Please, are you here for exam?”
he asked.
“Yeah.” she replied.
“Okay. Please, which way is the
examination hall.” He asked.
“I don’t know. This is my first
time here.” She answered.
(disappointed) “Okay, lets ask
others the way to the exam hall.”
He adviced.
“Okay.” She replied standing up
and dusting her skirt.
*TEN MINUTES LATER*
The invigillator walked into the
exam hall carrying a green sack
with the inscription; WEST
AFRICAN EXAMINATION COUNCIL.
No 62. He was accompanied by
five teachers of the school.
A laptop was removed and with
a thumb printing device attached
to it.
“Line up for your biometrics.”
one of the teachers barked.
After the completion of the
biometrics. The candidates were
asked to sit down according to
their numbers. The answer
booklets and the question
papers were first distributed
before the attendance was
marked. The paper lasted two
and a half hours. The paper
ended by 11:30am and they
were given 3hours break before
the commencement of the paper
2&3(objectives & the Test of
Orals respectively).
Outside the examination hall,
students were seen in group,
some in fours, in fives and so on
discussing and arguing over the
just concluded paper.
Oluwasegun(segun for short)
wast sitting alone under a big
three near the school football
pitch. He was flipping through
the pages of the WAEC English
language past question. Just then
someone tapped him from
behind. He looked up and saw
his cousin Omolayo Akinola.
He stood up and hugged her.
“What are you doing here?” he
asked.
“I came to greet my friends
writing their exam here. She
answered.
“Where is your centre?”
“Ikolaba grammar school.”she
replied.
“Most of my friends are in that
centre.”he said.
“Are you the only one here?” she
asked.
“Yes, am the only one here from
my school.”he answered.
“You must be feeling lonely
o.”she said.
“Yeah”………
The gisted for like ten minutes
before Omolayo stood up to go,
“Let me introduce you to my
friends over there.” she said
pointing to a group of 2 boys
and 4 girls gisting.
He stood up and followed her
towards the group. Immediately
they saw them approach they
stopped talking.
“Where have you been? One of
her friends jummy asked
Omolayo suspiciously.
Ignoring her question. “Meet my
cousin, Segun. Segun meet my
friends.” she introduced.
“Hi guys.” he greeted.
“Hi.” They chorused.
They all hung around till it was
1:30pm, 30minutes before the
next paper.
“Bro, i think we should get going
so, we won’t be late.” Omolayo
said.
“Alright, bye. Segun answered.
Omolayo left with four of her
friends remaining two who were
also in segun’s centre. Among
which was Jummy.
–to be continued–


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Akpos stays with his uncle at the city.
During dinner one night, his uncle said "Akpos, you are getting old. what's keeping you from getting married?"
Akpos "It's already on my mind. You see, i have been thinking about your wife everyday".
His uncle shouted "what a fuck! Idiot! how there you think about my wife?".
Akpos replied "Uncle please stop vibrating, is not what you think".
"O! you still have mouth to talk? In fact you are leaving to the village this night" says the angry uncle.
Akpos kneel down and said "Aah! Sorry uncle, I was just afraid of ending up with a bad woman as you did".
The woman grabbed the soup plate and pure on Akpos


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-03 15:18:54

43330 Views




ANGELS 7


(WRITER TALKING)I hope you guys don't mind me changing and shifting from angels to angels.but hi!.it is for fun.i want you guys to see works they do and how they go about it.now this episode is about another angel.i won't tell you what type of angel It is.just chill and read it yourself.................................................
There are angels you haven't heard about.some stand by you all day and night.some are only fighting for you.some are always bringing blessing and good things to you.some are always blocking evil incantations against you.
Have you ever felt so down that suddenly you heard or saw something that made your soul lighten up or someone you don't know will just say something that will make you feel happy once more .well that was an angel and they are called ANGELS OF ENCOURAGEMENT.
We always go around encouraging people who have lost hope and believe in GOD and in themselves or people who have lost courage to move on in life.sometimes we appear in human form to pass a message.unlike the warrior and messager angels we go alone but sometimes we go in groups .even ought sometimes we face challenges from the demons who don't want humans to be happy.we even tell you when you are right and wrong.well I would just say we kinda dwell amongst human beings
We are encouragement angels but we all have were we ain't good at.some encouragement angels are good at encouraging people who has lost all hopes.some are good at encouraging people with pain.some are good at encouraging people to move forward.there are so many aspect of our ability.even the Missions we are being given are based on what side we are best on.
I am best at encouraging people who has lost hope and has taken life has the worst thing that have ever happened to them.I specialise in making them feel happy once more.sometimes I fall into long conversation with them so as to make them joyed once more.
My name is PHLOME and my journey was as that of an air that blows from an area of higher altitude to a region of lower altitude.I move around to the specific people I was sent to help out..........(PHLOME talking)the good thing about us is that we can be seen.if you look deep down inside your soul...........
I was sent to an innocent young man who was about to take off by plane from south africa to INDIA for a surgery.he was diagnosed with a rear sickness of the brain.he was in a hopeless state.inside him he had lost hope of surveying the surgery.his name was Jameson and he sat right beside the window in the plane.
Jameson:"oh lord I am sure this surgery won't do anything.death is assured for me.there is no hope for me.why did this rear sickness come my way.why did life place me in this state.I shouldn't have being given birth to.its better for me to go off this plane and get home and wait for death to overwhelm my entire body".he said as he was about making effort to stand.
I knew how to do my job very well.so at that time I kept quite........(PHLOME)sometimes we don't talk no matter how Bitter or sad humans are.we just wait for the right time to speak because we know that if we speak at the wrong time you humans might probably not listen. sometime we just talking to you directly but if you are not careful and attentive enough you won't hear us speak........... He sat back then looked at his wrist watch and the time was 6:45am the plane was to leave 7:00am.he wanted to leave but I tried to hold him back.but his motive to leave was more than the motive for him to stay.he finally stood up after some minutes of inner fight of whether he should stand or sit.he walked towards the open door which was 3 seaters away from him.as he moved out three more passengers came in.they were young.two were male and one was a female.the female passenger was in front of the two male passengers.......to be continue......THANK YOU FOR READING THIS STORY.........story by DINDY.....WhatsApp number:07087750433....facebook namessy nnamdi
PLEASE DO NOT SHARE WITHOUT TELLING ME

EPISODE 7 CONTINUES.......Passenger 2: "HOPE is such a nice name for my dog". She said as she turned back to talk to the guy behind her
Passenger 1: "yea but I ain't sure it would".he said as he stood to reply her back.
Passenger 3:"please excuse me.i wanna take my seat please".he said with a calm and bold voice.
Passenger 1:"oh sorry about that".he said as he and passenger 2 moved to one side so that passenger 3 could pass.
After passenger 3 passed.he turned back and said.
Passenger 3:"actually HOPE is the best name for a dog.my first pet was named HOPE".
Passenger 2:"oh thanks.see I told you"...she said as she did the tongue to passenger 1.
Jameson heard what they said but he didn't put enough attention. so he didn't know I was talking to him through them.he passed them as passenger 3 moved aside for him to pass. so did passenger 2 &1.
he got out side the plane as he was about going down the staircase he looked up and saw a billboard which says "HOPE IS NEVER LOST".he stoped and that was when I spoke to him in his mind.but before I spoke. I allowed the word to sink into his heart
PHLOME: You have come this far to go back and die?.why do you think you are still alive.remember what the doctor said about your condition.he said your condition has reach the limit to kill you but he wonders why you are still alive.why don't you just go and do the surgery.I am sure you won't die.if you can still stay alive till now then believe me this rear sickness won't kill you at all
Jameson:but how am I sure that I won't die during the surgery?
PHLOME:just look at that billboard.it is even telling you not to give up.believe me you won't die.
After I said that he felt happy once more and went back inside the plane......(PHLOME talking)all this things happened in a space of 12mins........he sat on his seat then he looked out the window to the billboard and he read to himself "HOPE IS NEVER LOST" he smiled once more as the pilot said "please fasten on your seat belt.we are about to take off".he smile with joy as he did what the pilot said.then the plane took off.his eyes never left the sight of the billboard until it was unseen to him.
My duty was completed.so I left him for another...........................................................................to be continued.......story by DINDY.....WhatsApp number:07087750433....facebook namessy nnamdi
PLEASE DO NOT SHARE WITHOUT TELLING ME



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Below Sea Level [Read it]


FATHER: How are your grades, son? SON: Under water, Dad. FATHER: Under water? What do you
mean? SON: They're below C level.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-03 07:13:06

445 Views




I was on the train this afternoon when I sat across from a very attractive babe from Thailand.

I spent the next 10 minutes thinking to myself, “don’t get an erection, please don’t get an erection”. But she did.Related

The smallest coffins are the heaviest.

~ Author UnknownRelated

Agar Talaash Karun


Agar Talaash Karun Koi Mil Hii Jaayegaa;

Magar Tumhaarii Tarah Kaun Mujhe Chaahegaa;


Tumhen Zaruur Koi Chaahaton Se Dekhegaa;

Magar Vo Aankhen Hamaarii Kahaan Se Laayegaa;


Naa Jaane Kab Tere Dil Par Naii Sii Dastak Ho;

Makaan Khaalii Hua Hai To Koii Aayegaa;


Main Apani Raah Mein Diivaar Ban Ke Baithaa Hun;

Agar Vo Aayaa To Kis Raaste Se Aayegaa;


Tumhaare Saath Ye Mausam Farishton Jaisaa Hai;

Tumhaare Baad Ye Mausam Bahut Sataayegaa!Related

GENERAL MANAGER [Read it]



This is the phone conversation between Gossasa and a girl he just met earlier in the day:
GOSSASA: Hello girl.
GIRL: Hi.
GOSSASA: You are really very sexy and beautiful.
GIRL: Thanks.
GOSSASA: I really like you baby. I want you to be my girlfriend.
GIRL: Hmmm. What do you do for a living?
GOSSASA: I'm the G.M of First Bank.
GIRL: Wow! Of course, I'll be your girlfriend. I've always dreamt of marrying the General Manager of a big company Like First Bank.
GOSSASA: No, I'm not the General Manager of First Bank.
GIRL: (confused) But you just said you are the G.M of First Bank?
GOSSASA: Yes. I'm their Gate Man.
The girl immediately drops the call.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-16 18:06:27

871 Views



Always business [Read it]


A business man had an accedent that affected his spinalcord so badly that he was subject to whealchair for the rest of his life, furtunat for him he went to a church and got his deliverance, then the pastor ask him and said "sir after this great deliverance in your life do you still need the whealchair?" then he said "oh yes i need it". the pastor said "but why?" the man said "i bought it from the hospital brand new, at list i can sale it at the price of a secondhand".


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-24 01:20:51

379 Views




A deep love story:

Once upon a time true lovers went for a long walk,
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remaining story will be published when they return.Related

A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married 12 times. On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride said to her new groom, “Please, promise to be gentle. I am still a virgin.”
This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages, he thought that at least one of her husbands would have been able to perform. He asked his new bride to explain the phenomenon.

She responded:”My first husband was a Sales Representqative who spent our entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, `It`s gonna be great!`

My second husband was from Software Services, he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he would send me documentation.

My third husband was from Field Services and constantly said that everything was diagnostically OK, but he just couldn`t get the system up.

My fourth husband was from Educational Services, and he simply said, `Those who can, do; those who can`t, teach.`

My fifth husband was from the Telemarketing Department and said that he had the orders, but he wasn`t quite sure when he was going to be able to deliver.

My sixth husband was an Engineer. He told me that he understood the basic process, but needed three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

My seventh husband was from Finance and Administration. His comments were that he knew how, but he just wasn`t sure wheather it was his job.

My eight husband was from Standards and Regulations and told me that he was up to the standards but that regulations said nothing about how to do it.

My ninth husband was a Marketing Manager. He said, `I know I have the product. I`m just not sure how to position it.`

My tenth husband was a psychiatrist, and all he ever wanted to do was talk about it.

My eleventh husband was a gynecologist, and all he ever wanted to do was look at it.

My twelfth husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to do was … well, I miss him!

So now I have married a lawyer, and I know I`m going to get screwed.”Related

Continues..
Miranda: their clothes had wolves at the back
Prestonkay. Get into the car.
He went inside to bring the car keys while I consoled miranda. He came out and we all entered into the car and sped off.
We got to campus and saw Presley and other p.p members shooting at other people. They wore black entirely except from the white wolves at the back of their shirts. Immediately Preston took out a gum from the locker inside the car. The campus was rough students everywhere hiding. Some crying and running helter skelter.
Me:please be careful
Preston:I will be safe for you(he kissed me and left the car)
I and Miranda stayed in the car. Immediately preston got there he shot one of their rivals. It was five against three now. The p.p was five and the wolves were just three. There was enormous gunshots and dodges until the remaining three were shot from the behind. It was the b.b who had shot them from behind. Brenden had a raffle on his right shoulder with right hand supporting it. And his left hand was in his pocket. He was in front of the rest boys. His boys had pistols tucked in their pencil trousers. They were so cute and gallant. The way they walk and expressed themselves was kind of unique.
I and Miranda came out of the car to meet the p.p as soon as the gunshots stopped and the school became calm once again. As soon as Miranda got to Presley she kissed him as if her life depended on it.
Miranda:thank God you are safe
Presley:you worry too much
Presley walked to preston who was smiling at them
PresleyON na where you put your phone I don call am almost sixteen times yet no response
Preston:abeg nor vex me nor know where I put the phone self. And it is on silent
Presley:just get luck say nothing do my bae if not I for sue you personally
Me: what happened?
Presley: well a member of w.w came to woo miranda while I went to bring her books from the class she didn’t talk to him instead he slapped her. Seeing that made me angry. I went to him and punched him. He raised his shirt showing me his gun u also raised mine showing him my gun. So he decided to control his gang here
I Also called mine but Preston didn’t pick my call so I called the ones I could reach. Thankfully none of us got shot.
Me:hmmm so miranda you are the cause of all these. Hmmm your level is now floating on the sea o it will not sink again. Well thank God all of you are okay. If something had happened I don’t know how I would have comforted miranda.(we all laughed).
Then brenden walked in.
Brenden:presley I hope the leader of the w.w followed them here?
Presley:no he didn’t. Why?
Brenden:if I catch him I will divide him
Presley:why?
Brenden:hehas been telling Cassey my movements. I wondered how both of them got so close
Presley: she is your girlfriend na so she is supposed to know your movements
Brenden:yeah she is suppose to but not telling someone to monitor me. Milly we meet again. Today you were absent in class. Anything happpend?
Me: uhmmm. Nothing happened never mind
Brenden:then I hope you will accept my offer to take you home?
Me:No. I came with preston. So goodbye. I waved my hands at him.
To be continued


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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You will walk [Read it]


*DON'T LAUGH ALONE*
I attended a crusade and someone touched my shoulder and said "YOU WILL WALK". I didn't bother because I knew I was not lame. After the crusade, I touched my pocket and I couldn't find my wallet which contained my transport fare`!!! Behold, I WALKED !!! ????????????????????????



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-03-31 10:07:55

365 Views



Finest Girl [Read it]


You won't believe what happened to me yesterday night.


I was coming back from somewhere around 9pm when I saw this beautiful damsel approaching me. 


She has the the beautiful face of Beyonce, the sumptuous lips of Angelina Jolie, the backside like that of Kim Kardashian. The curves were like that of Mercy Johnson. She's got the height like that of Juliet Ibrahim. Her eyes were as beautiful as that of Ini Edo.


She got the forehead of Rihanna, with bumper front package like that of Cossy Orjiakor. She was looking innocent like Genevieve Nnaji. 


I knew I had to talk to her, it will be the greatest mistake if I allow her pass without talking. So I said "Hi."


She didn't reply but she smiled. So I continued, "My name is Tunde, I will love to talk to you but I'm in a hurry right now. Can I please get your contact so that I can call you for us to meet again?"


She smiled again and said, "Ok. ZERO (0) HATE ( ZERO (0), TIRI (3) TIRI (3) HATE (, SEFUN (7) TWO (2) TIRI (3), NOI (9) NOI (9)... NA MY HENTIHEN (MTN) LINE BE THAT. YOU WANT MY SAIN LINE?"


I fainted!!!




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-11 17:47:37

523 Views




Once, a little girl went to a shop with
her mother. In the shop, the little
caught a glimpse of a bottle filled with
sweets. The shopkeeper noticed her
staring at the bottle filled with sweets
and said, "Hey cute girl, you can take the sweets if you want them." But the little girl didn't do anything. The
shopkeeper was surprised and repeated
again, "You can have the sweets." But the little girl didn't take the sweets. The mother finally weighed in and said,
"You can have the sweets dear." Yet she didn't take it. The shopkeeper
picked the bottle of sweets himself,
poured a bunch of them onto his hand
and gave them to her. While returning home, the mother
asked her daughter, "Why didn't you
take the sweets when the shop keeper
told you to take them?" The little girl replied, "Because the
shopkeeper's hands were bigger than
mine."
#BOLLY_SMART™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-21 02:53:05

494 Views



Not Long Enough [Read it]


One Day,A Husband And Wife Were Trying To Put Password To Their Newly Bought Computer..Suddenly,the Wife Laugh Till She Fell Down Because Her Husband Used "MyPenis" Has The Password,and The Computer Said "Not Long Enough"...LWKWD


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-27 19:12:17

255 Views




EPISODE 3

Ish turned away without responding to christiana”s greetings. They had a seat to have a chat but ish left them to sit else where. This attitude of his continued on three consecutive occassions.
.
.
.
.
.
Christiana brought books along on the third day to share with her friends but ish didnt want to have anything to do with it. He stood up from their side as he always does, but this time round, christiana followed up when he did. ” what have i done to you? Why do you hate me soo much?” he heard a sad voice sound behind him. ” if you know whats best for you, you’ ll leave me alone” ish said without turning. Christiana got frightened with his speech but she wanted to get over his rejection so she didnt leave. ” do to me what you pease, i dont know what you have against me and i dont care about what you gonna do to me. So just explode!” christy demanded. Ish was mute at the moment.
She walked to his view and said ” i brought you this book, please have it” ish out of anger pushed christy down and threw the book on her face! ” are you stupid?” he yelled at her. Christy fell on the ground like a leave which was blown by the air. Juliet and those who brought christy to the place, saw everything. They all rashed to the place. ” what have you done?” juliet asked ish with a loud voice. “are you okay?” christy’s driver tried to help her up. Christy tried her very best to sound okay. ” i warned you, didnt i?” ish shouted at juliet and left the place.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
“promise me, he will get this book” she said to juliet and handed the book over to her. She also made her driver promise that her mother wouldnt hear about it.

Juliet followed ish to his place.
“What you did back there was totally wrong. The only thing she ever wanted is to get to know us and be our friend. She has no friends, ish come on…” juliet said to ish. ” i dont want her as a friend, dont you get it?” he answered and left juliet standing. ” how can he be just 8 and have such hatred in his heart? Amazing.. Lalala laaala” juliet began to sing on her way home
.
.
.
.
.
.
It was afternoon on the field again, christiana went over to spend some time with her so called friends. She came along with drinks and shared it among themselves. Christiana joined the drinking party this time round. ” where is he?” she asked juliet silently. ” where is who?” juliet also asked. ” ish” christy said to juliet with the look of how could you miss my ish with someone else. Juleit smiled and told her ish claimed he was sick so he couldnt make it. “sick? lets go and see him then” christy suggested. “come on girlfriend, we are having fun here. Lets do that after the fun.” juliet said to her. Even though christy stayed to have fun, she wasnt herself knowing that ish was not feeling well. Before they were done with their fun, it got cloudy and it was about to rain in no time. The wind began to blow strongly and the kids spread to her various houses. Christy stood still wondering if juliet will still take her to ish place or not?
CHRISTISH CONTINUES

>>

Suhagrat ke time darvaze pe dastak hoti hai toh dulhan bhag k parde ke peeche chup jati hai.

Husband: Kya hua?

Dulhan: Mujhe laga police ki raid par gai.Related

Football vs Sex.
1. Going to your bf/gf without being invited = OFFSIDE.
2. Dating a girl today and having sex on the same day =
FREE-KICK.
3. Condom = GOALKEEPER
4. Condom breaks = PENALTY
5. Abortion = RED CARD
6. A girl with lots of energy = CAPTAIN
7. Having sex without a condom = OWN GOAL
8. Taking a lot of time without coming = MAN OF THE
MATCH.
9.Banging 3 girls in a day = HAT-TRICK.
10. Having many chicks and banging all = MVP
11. Having sex with your ex = FRIENDLY MATCH
12. 8 years of sex without getting a child = ARSENAL
13. After 2 rounds, u request for more =EXTRA TIME.
14. Taking it gently when having sex = FAIR PLAY
15. Biting her n!pples = SUAREZ
16.Two legs on shoulder = THROWIN
17. Asking her 'how do you want it' = Taking instructions
on the sideline.
18. A lady using pills after sex and later still got
pregnant = DEFENSIVE ERROR
19.Girl being pregnant = GoOoOoOallllll
20.Ur guy collect ur chick= True pass
21.Having sex with a girl..and your mum open d door=
Injury
22.You and your girl break up= Game over
23. Girl tell u to stop= YELLOW CARD


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-04 10:47:44

333 Views




In the movie, Ramsey Noah is the step son of Patience Ozokwo(Mama G),

Patience Ozokwo acted as a
wicked woman.

Patience Ozokwo's plan was to
poison Ramsey Noah.

After puttin d poison into a glass of juice, she kept it in d fridge.

(Nigeria girl still watching)

Nigeria girl: This woman is very wicked.

In d movie: Suddenly,
Ramsey Noah comes back from work.

Nigeria Girl: (still watching)
Ramsey please don't go to the kitchen.

In d movie: Ramsey Noah
enters inside the kitchen.

Nigeria Girl: (still watching) Ramsey pls don't go near d fridge.

In d movie: Ramsey Noah goes straight to d fridge.

Nigeria Girl: (still watching)
Ramsey please don't carry juice, just carry water and drink. Then go and sleep.

In d movie: Ramsey Noah
carries the juice, as he was about to drink the juice the glass fell
down on d floor and breaks.

Nigeria Girl (excited): THANK YOU JESUS!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-24 07:44:22

663 Views




That laughable moment at your work place
when your boss' female secretary comes out
angry out of his office, and you ask her “What
happened? You went in there happy and came
out angry.”
She replies, “he asked me if am free tonight?
I said absolutely free! Then the bastard gave
me 65 pages to type!” #B-gof


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-14 20:07:58

4345 Views




Loveth: (looking at her wedding picture)five years is like yesterday,time fly so fast that we barely know how we spent our seconds,minutes and hours;there are so many things you adjust to because of time not because of that is what you want;less i forget,i and Jude;are still married,God save his life for me. it feels like when he wakes up,he wake up to a new being. we have learn how to live with each other even though we still quarrel and fight but it is better than before;i accepted my lot(enter Jude)Jude;are you back
Jude: yes;please pack up
Loveth: why?
Jude: we are leaving
Loveth: to where?
Jude: we are going back home,dad is sick and he is in our country and he want to unity his family together
Loveth: your dad have another family?
Jude: Loveth;you asked too much question
Loveth: please tell me;do you have sisters?
Jude: sorry to disappoint you;mom said i have a younger brother from dad's first wife
Loveth: your mom is the second wife
Jude: dad fall in love with mom during high school days but they lost contact and that is where dad married his first wife;a week after their marriage he met mom again and one thing let to the other and he impregnated my mom and that is why i am here in front of you
Loveth: so we will go back to based
Jude: yes;we may not return here
Loveth: i am so excited and i know you are excited to meet your brother
Jude: of cause;i will hug him so tight because i miss having siblings around but i doubt if he will love me
Loveth: why?
Jude: considering the fact that my mother deprive him of being with his dad
Loveth: but is not your fault
Jude: of cause;my mom is my dad's first love
Loveth: first love(she smiled)
Jude: what is that smiled for
Loveth: i was just thinking;how powerful is first love
Jude: just shut up and pack up(he turn to leave)if you think you will leave me for that stupid boy you got something coming(curtain)


Joan: sweetheart;be fast
Ruth: mom;i am almost done
Joan: good;where is your nanny
Ruth: she should be inside(enter Luke)daddy(she ran to him)
Joan: Ruth;did i not tell you not to be walking around why eating?
Ruth: sorry mom;dad come sit
Luke: Love;come sit close to dad
Ruth: thank you dad(she sat to eat)mom;please stop calling me Ruth;my classmate always call me an old woman because of my name
Joan: will you shut up(Ruth cried)will stop that rubbish
Luke: that is enough;love;what do you want us to call you
Ruth: dad;you always call me love
Luke: yes
Ruth: so i want my name to be lovely(Luke laughed)sorry dad
Luke: this daughter of mine is crazy
Ruth: dad;Loveth will do(he coughed)i want Loveth
Joan: never
Ruth: mom;please,dad tell mom to accept;you like the name right(he nod his head)thank you dad;so can i start bearing it
Luke: asked your mom
Ruth: mom;please say yes(she tickle her)
Joan: just go to the car and wait for me and dad(she walk away crying)my daughter is not answering that name
Luke: did i say she should answer it?
Joan: yes don't provoke me(exit Joan)
Luke: i wonder why some people are always flogging irrelevant issues. you see that young lady she is my daughter;i was able to save her and her mother with the help of God,when the situation get too complicate i have no choice than to save my family. so i carried out the operation myself. that little girl is my daughter;she is just five but talk like an old woman but i love her because she is intelligent and i funnily call her Love
Joan: Luke
Luke: i am coming(curtain)

Loveth: home;sweet home;no place like home(she walked into a playground)this look different now;is been years;thank God;that Jude;have a business meeting,i can fill my eyes(enter Ruth/nanny)
Nanny: baby;please wait for me here. i go get something
Ruth: alright;be fast cause i want to go home
Nanny: alright(left from few minutes)
Ruth: why is she not coming?nanny(she called and walked into the road and a car almost crush her but Loveth save her)
Loveth: hey;why are you crossing without looking?where is your mom and dad?
Ruth: they went to work and i cant find my nanny
Loveth: okay;i am sure she should be around. lets wait for her(enter Jude)
Ruth: thank you ma
Loveth: you welcome
Jude: Loveth,lets go
Ruth: is your name Loveth ma?
Loveth: yes;do you like it
Ruth: yes;my dad used to call me Love but my mom doesn't like it
Loveth: why?
Ruth: i don't know;why did your parent give you that name
Loveth: maybe because they like it and you why is your dad calling you that?(enter Nanny)
Ruth: maybe because he likes you
Loveth: what?
Nanny: lets go Ruth
Ruth: alright;bye ma
Loveth: bye love(she smile and walked away)this little things are something else
Jude: come on lets go;you are hurt
Loveth: it is just a stretch
Jude: alright (curtain)



Joan: baby;why are you dirty
Ruth: a car almost hit me
Luke: what?where did your nanny go?
Ruth: i dont know
Joan: where is that stupid girl?
Ruth: mom;please dont yell at her,is all my fault. she asked me to wait but i kept walking
Joan: even at that?
Luke: Joan;stop,were you hit my the car
Ruth: no;ma Loveth;save me and she asked why my dad call me that name and i said because you love her(Luke coughed)dad;is it true?
Luke: excuse me baby;i just need a rest
Ruth: alright;dad,my good night kiss
Luke: okay(he kissed her and walked away)this daughter of mine,will put me in trouble one of this days
Joan: go to bed now
Ruth: good night mom(exit Ruth)
Joan: i don't know what is wrong with this daughter of mine
and this husband of mine;still love Loveth(curtain)



READ MORE


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girlfriends ass [Read it]


Akpos' girlfriend comes home and starts ranting that a man across the street grabbed her buttocks and was caressing it forcefully. Akpos terribly angry about this storms out of the house into the street with his girlfriend in search of the man.


AKPOS: (sees a feeble-looking man and grabs him by his shirt) How dare you touch my girlfriend's butt?!


FEEBLE MAN: What are you talking about?


GIRLFRIEND: No!! That's not the man. He's the one standing next to him (points to a very huge man).


AKPOS: (fearful) Good afternoon sir! Ermm... My girlfriend said that her buttocks mistakenly hit your hand? I just came to apologize for her indiscretion.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-17 06:59:34

530 Views



Teenage Love. [Read it]


**PART ONE**
CHAPTER 1…….
It was a bright saturday morning
on the 7th of september 2013.
Akinola oluwasegun was walking
along a popular street in Ibadan,
Oyo state. He was dressed in a
white T-shirt and a black pant
trouser and a black vickers shoe.
He was on his way to Loyola
College, a government owned
secondary school around Agodi
gate GRA Ibadan for his WAEC GCE
exam.
He entered into the school
compound and walked towards
the school building. Being his
first paper English Language, he
had no idea of where the
examination hall was situated.
So, he had to ask for help from
other candidates who had come
the previous days for chemistry
practicals and Commerce. He
walked up to a girl seated on the
staircase reading to ask for the
help.
“Hello, good morning.” he
greeted.
“Good morning.” she replied.
“Please, are you here for exam?”
he asked.
“Yeah.” she replied.
“Okay. Please, which way is the
examination hall.” He asked.
“I don’t know. This is my first
time here.” She answered.
(disappointed) “Okay, lets ask
others the way to the exam hall.”
He adviced.
“Okay.” She replied standing up
and dusting her skirt.
*TEN MINUTES LATER*
The invigillator walked into the
exam hall carrying a green sack
with the inscription; WEST
AFRICAN EXAMINATION COUNCIL.
No 62. He was accompanied by
five teachers of the school.
A laptop was removed and with
a thumb printing device attached
to it.
“Line up for your biometrics.”
one of the teachers barked.
After the completion of the
biometrics. The candidates were
asked to sit down according to
their numbers. The answer
booklets and the question
papers were first distributed
before the attendance was
marked. The paper lasted two
and a half hours. The paper
ended by 11:30am and they
were given 3hours break before
the commencement of the paper
2&3(objectives & the Test of
Orals respectively).
Outside the examination hall,
students were seen in group,
some in fours, in fives and so on
discussing and arguing over the
just concluded paper.
Oluwasegun(segun for short)
wast sitting alone under a big
three near the school football
pitch. He was flipping through
the pages of the WAEC English
language past question. Just then
someone tapped him from
behind. He looked up and saw
his cousin Omolayo Akinola.
He stood up and hugged her.
“What are you doing here?” he
asked.
“I came to greet my friends
writing their exam here. She
answered.
“Where is your centre?”
“Ikolaba grammar school.”she
replied.
“Most of my friends are in that
centre.”he said.
“Are you the only one here?” she
asked.
“Yes, am the only one here from
my school.”he answered.
“You must be feeling lonely
o.”she said.
“Yeah”………
The gisted for like ten minutes
before Omolayo stood up to go,
“Let me introduce you to my
friends over there.” she said
pointing to a group of 2 boys
and 4 girls gisting.
He stood up and followed her
towards the group. Immediately
they saw them approach they
stopped talking.
“Where have you been? One of
her friends jummy asked
Omolayo suspiciously.
Ignoring her question. “Meet my
cousin, Segun. Segun meet my
friends.” she introduced.
“Hi guys.” he greeted.
“Hi.” They chorused.
They all hung around till it was
1:30pm, 30minutes before the
next paper.
“Bro, i think we should get going
so, we won’t be late.” Omolayo
said.
“Alright, bye. Segun answered.
Omolayo left with four of her
friends remaining two who were
also in segun’s centre. Among
which was Jummy.
–to be continued–


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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disgrace [Read it]


Public Disgrace Is Wen You See Your Boyfriend Dancing For Indomie Official Jus To Win Biro And T-shirt......
Jisos I don die????????????????????
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-03-30 20:43:57

264 Views



NaWaOoo [Read it]


President - North
Senate President- North
Speaker- North
Chief of Staff- North
SGF- North
Haba this is NORTH fair.
No wonder bible said "feat NORTH #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-06 19:52:23

443 Views



where is jesus [Read it]


A Sunday
School teacher
of pre-
schoolers was
concerned that
his students
might be a little
confused about
Jesus Christ
because of the
Christmas
season
emphasis on
His birth.
He wanted to
make sure
they
understood
that the birth
of Jesus
occurred a long
time ago, that
He grew up,
etc.
So he asked his
class, "Where is
Jesus today?"
Steven raised
his hand and
said, "He’s in
heaven."
Mary was
called on and
answered,
"He’s in my
heart."
Akpos,
waving his
hand furiously,
blurted out, "I
know! I know!
He’s in our
bathroom!"
The whole
class got very
quiet, looked at
the teacher,
and waited for
a response.
The teacher
was
completely at a
loss for a few
very long
seconds.
He finally
gathered his
wits and asked
Akpos how he knew
this.
And Akpos said,
"Well… every
morning, my
father gets up,
knocks on the
bathroom door,
and yells 'Jesus
Christ, are you
still in there?'"



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-12 17:42:30

379 Views




A gujrati couple busy in sex..son asked- papa shu karo cho?papa-mummy ma petrol bharu chhuSon-average check kari nakho saware to uncle tanki full kari gayo. =)) =DRelated

Memory lose [Read it]


Mike: Akpos, why are you crying?
Akpos: My boss fired me today.
Mike: Why?
Akpos: because my memory had gotten so bad.
Mike: Unbelievable! Where do you work?
Akpo: Haaaa! i can't remember again.




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-22 13:55:54

1116 Views



Women attitude [Read it]


Ladies Pls dnt Get Mad @ Me for This!!!
Lol
Advice to Guys
BEFORE YOU MARRY A LADY, INVITE HER
FOR
DINNER, EAT TOGETHER & WATCH OUT
FOR THE
FOLLOWING !!!
* If she starts eating the MEAT before
you, It implies
that she would have planned
how to finish your salary/income before
you collect it.
* If she wants to share the MEAT equally,
she won't
be obedient to You, she will always
question your
authority.
* If she has a bigger spoon than you, it
means you
can't win any argument with her at all
and she may
end up beating you one day!
* If her mouth makes noise while eating,
it means
she can't keep secrets.
* If she asks for extra, you will need
blood tonic to
survive the marriage.
True or False?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-09 21:14:34

179 Views




Santa calls at the airport, “How long is the journey from Chandigarh to Delhi?

Receptionist: 45 Minutes, Sir!

Santa: Only that much! Thanks, I rather walk then spend so much on the air fare.Related

After the wedding of Fred and his new married wife,they could not afford honeymoon so went 2 his fathers house for there first night as a new couple.
In the mornimg Akpos who is fred's junior brother woke up and prepare 2 skul,when he was about to go,he ask his mum,'mum,is fred and his wife,awake'.
'no'.answered his mum.Akpos asked he."do u know what i think''.''go to skul,keep whatever u think with u''.replied his mum,when Akpos came back for lunch.he ask his mum,'mum,is fred and his wife,awake'.'no'.replied his mum,again Akpos asked her.'do u know what i think'.'i don't want to know,eat ur lunch and go back 2 skul'.replied her mum.Akpos went back 2 skul,when he came back in the evening,he ask his mum,'mum,is fred and his wife,awake'.'no' replied his mum."do yo know what i think'' asked Akpos.'what the hell do u think'.Akpos said.'last night Fred came to my room asking for vaseline,i think i gave him my super glue


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-10 09:46:26

417 Views




hello everyone am bamzy, and this story is based on love, and school life ...... episode 1 my name is bamitale johnson,but my friends call me bamzy. am a girl of just 13 years.am slim, a little tall,chocolate in complexion (a little light a little dark).am brillant and beautiful *winks* i live in ibadan i attend brights high school am in ss 1 my hobbies are singing,dancing,reading and travelling...to cut the story short .... this is where the story begins on a bright and cool morning i woke up,that is when i remember i am transfering from my old school to a new one (brights high school ) i feel happy inside of me imediately *** i have dressed up already then i eat my breakfast quickly and join my mom inside the car and we drove off this is where my new adventure begins........ .. Episode 2 Will Be Ready Tonight


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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On Valentine’s Day, I’m thinking about the special ways u have made my life better. The little things, the not-so-little things.. Ur kindness, the way U always listen & pay attention to me. U make my world brighter n richer. U’re a gift to me, & I thank U for being U.Related

Google took my memory. Twitter my friends and now spell check is busy f**king my spellings!Related

Akpos promised his girlfriend twenty thousand naira while chatting with her on BBM. A week later, she unexpectedly visited him while he was about to travel. 


"Honey! Where's the 20k you promised me last week?" She asked.


"I don't have any money with me right now babe, but here's my ATM card. You can withdraw all the amount in my account"


He gave her his ATM card and left for Abuja, knowing fully well he had nothing in his account.


Halfway through his journey, he received a call from his friend, "Hello." 


"Akpos, I just deposited the 100,000 naira I've been owing you for six months now into your account now. You should get an alert on your phone soon." 


Akpos is right now in the hospital for crashing his car into a tree.    


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-25 16:24:42

724 Views



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