Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Weeks after weeks, months flies, they were struggling with their intimate urges anytime they are
together. They would engage in kissing and romance, but when
they got to love making mood.
Something will strike bro paul’s heart like thunder, reminding him of his pledge and vows, and the urges would die down
immediately. When paul realises that he was only punishing
himself with the romance of a thing. He decided to put and end to every romance and kisses. He decided to remain on holy hugs until they are married. Gradually,
paul was getting back to his spiritual stand. He now prays regularly and also studies his bible. Eunice wasn’t getting
comfortable with paul again, she isn’t getting the pleasure and emotional attention she always
wished for, but she had no choice than to wait and be patient since she isn’t ready to loose paul.
3months to the end of NYSC, eunice impatient grows into
maturity and she decided to seek
comfort in the arms of valentine who happens to be one of her toasters who eventually became
her friend. They began to get
intimate within the twinkle of an eye, eunice began to find
valentine interesting and lively because he would always discuss
and say dirty things she wanted to hear, with time, she reduced her visitation to paul and increased her visitation to
valentine, since paul was more concerned about spiritual
growth and less about emotions and romance, eunice’s attention of hanging out was now on val.
“I will keep paul for marriage and keep val for friendship” eunice
said to herself.
2months to the end of NYSC, eunice and valentine began to
have romance, but each time they were about to move on to
love making, eunice was always scared of the vow she and paul
made together, and she would always cry and resist. She always
wanted to have fun but she wasn’t ready to suffer leprosy
and epilepsy. After several resistances, val decided to get
what he wanted in a hard way.
He drugged eunice’s drink and eunice became weak and went unconscious. Valentine had his
way and made love to eunice.
When eunice became concious, she realised what valentine had
done to her and she began to cry. Valentine tried to comfort her but he got a slap in return as
eunice walked out in tears….#B-goF
To be continued.

>>

Eyes surgery [Read it]


Joke of the day-A blind guy visited his choir
mistress at home and
found her bathing. Since he was blind, she let
him
in. After bathing, she came out naked shaving
in
front of him and she tried to make a
conversation
by asking him, "Brother Kwame, what brings
you
here? Is everything fine at home?"
"He replied, "Yes, very fine. I came to tell you
that
I have done the eye operation, so I can see
now."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-21 13:06:49

504 Views



2015 Election [Read it]


If any of the contending candidates wants we youths to vote for him, he should do the following;

Reduce the subscription of BlackBerry and smartphone internet data plans to N200 per month for 20gb.

Make sure ATM dispenses as low as 20 naira notes

Make sure Iphone 6 is as low as N2,300.

Make Petrol free.

Make sure the MINIMUM CGPA is 2.0 even without writing an exam.

Make Tonto Dikeh the new First Lady

Make NTA change their boring station tone.

Make PDP and APC change their logos from Umbrella and Broom to Watermelon and Plantain Chips respectively.

Corpers should be given N500k per month

Free Calls between 7a.m to 10p.m

Make Akpos the minister of Finance.

You can add other things you want the candidates to do for you if any of them is elected in the comment box below...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-22 20:27:11

298 Views




Two men were walking along one summer day. Soon it became too hot to go any further and, seeing a large plane tree nearby, they threw themselves on the ground to rest in its shade. Gazing up into the branches one man said to the other,

“What a useless tree this is. It does not have fruit or nuts that we can eat and we cannot even use its wood for anything.”

“Don’t be so ungrateful,” rustled the tree in reply. “I am being extremely useful to you at this very moment, shielding you from the hot sun. And you call me a good-for-nothing!”

Moral: All of God’s creations have a good purpose. We should never belittle God’s blessings.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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a drunker [Read it]


There was a man who have been dreaming to be a lawyer after some years in school he later turn into drunker with 5 children so after the is drunk he fight with his wife and children so a day come when he was drunk so wanted to fight again but his first son started to advice him that he s still a citizen of dis country nd man shouted..








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-16 19:57:11

848 Views




You put:

The fun in together;

The sad in apart;

The hope in tomorrow;

And joy in my heart!

Have a nice weekend!Related

there came a man of God riding on his motorcycle,,,,,, hey! Stop!, the police man ordered,.........
Police:::What is this on your motorcycle(the oil due to the way it was tied has stained every part of the bag)?
MOG::: it's palm front...
Police::: are u sure, after all, men of God do cut people's head for rituals and growth of the church....
MOG::: yes u re not lying, but last week i bought a news papper, an one of the reports reported that some police men were caught in robbery.
Another police man said, dah.!.!. Leave that man mek him go..


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-05 20:22:54

620 Views





Akpos rings technical support:

Hello, my internet is not working properly

Officer: Ok, double click on “My computer”

Akpos: I can’t see your computer

Officer: No no, click on “My computer” on your computer

Akpos: How can I click on your computer from my computer?

Officer: listen, There is an icon labelled “Mycomputer” on your computer Ok, double click on it.

Akpos: What the hell, what is your computer doing on my computer..?

Officer: Double click on your computer.

Akpos: On which icon do I have to click?

Officer: “My computer”

Akpos: Ooh God, what type of problem is this? Tell me where your office is. I’ll come there


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-09 13:02:14

230 Views



MATHEW 7:7 [Read it]


GUYs i saw a young beautiful lady lastnight and
decided to give her a lift in my car. As the car
was moving, then i placed my hand on the lady's
laps pretending i was looking for the gear lever.
The lady cast a glance at me and said;
Mtcheew "matthew chapter 7 verse 7" and i
quickly
removed my hand. After short
time,i placed my
hand again on the lady's
lap and the lady said to me again "matthew 7
verse 7" i nervously removed my hand.
The sister reached her destination and
got off the car, cast another glance at me
and said "So u don't read your Bible!" And
when i got home, i opened my BibLE matthew
7verse7 and it says "ASK
AND IT SHALL BE GIVEN TO YOU"....
I fainted


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-25 22:30:27

523 Views



Baby boy [Read it]


No me say make u resembled ur father oo!









NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-20 16:15:37

807 Views




I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.

~ Martha WashingtonRelated

New Born Baby Slowly Opens It’s

Tiny

Eyes and

Asks Nurse : Why No Lights?

.

.

NURSE : Power Cut !

.

BABY : iski maa ki aankh

.

.

.

abhi b cngress ki hi govt h kya

India me ?..Related

Death came To Akpos and said "my
friend Akpos today is your day". Akpos said
"but i am not ready" and death said,
"well you are next on my list." so Akpos tried
to plead with death but
it Refused,
"Ok why dont u take a sit while I
get
you something to eat before we go.?"
the Akpos said while shaking...
and death said "alright then." Akpos gave
death some food and had a wicked thought of adding
poison on it, but said
to Himself, 'since it is Death, poison
won't have any effect on it,' so he added
some sleeping pills in it, Death finished eating
and fell asleep when asleep, Akpos took the Death
list, Rubbed his name from top of the
list and Wrote it at the bottom of the list. So
when Death woke up he said to Akpos, "Because you
have been so nice to Me with much hospitality that I
even Fell asleep, I wil start the LIST FROM THE
BOTTOM!!"
?#? Akpos?Fainted#


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-08 12:05:07

1941 Views




Bill and Bob, two children, were sitting outside a clinic.

Bill happened to be crying very loudly.
 "Why are you crying?" Bob asked.

"I came here for a blood test," sobbed Bill.

"So? Are you afraid?"

"No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."
 As Bob heard this, he immediately began crying profusely.

Astonished, Bill stopped his tears and asked Bob, "Why are you crying now?"

To which Bob replied, "I came for a urine test!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-15 16:05:20

752 Views




Ek ladki chemist shop pe jati hai aur bolti hai: “Aapke pass 12 inch ka condom hai?”


Shopkeeper: “Haan hai, boliye kitne de dun?”


Ladki: “Arey nahin, nahin… Mujhe nahi chahiye par mera mobile number note kar lo.


Shopkeeper: “Vo Kyun, Main karunga iska?


Ladki: “Jo bhi ye condoms purchase kare usko mera mobile number de dena.”Related

CONFESSION
EPISODE 4

I have been like a lizard that
wants to stop falling from the
coconut tree, but ends up
climbing the same tree over
and
over again.
I had my first encounter with
real
Indecency when I was in
Junior
Secondary School One (JSS 1).
My
classmate, Buchi, was the first
in
a class of thirty students to
have
a phone. Rumour had it that
his
mother abroad sent him the
phone. It was a blue Nokia
camera phone.
Being a close friend of Buchi, I
wasted no time in befriending
his phone. I fell in love with the
soccer game in the phone
because I had always loved
football.
Back in Primary School, I was
an
addict of football although just
as
a spectator. Being so thin like a
fountain pen and feeble like
pumpkin leaves, I never got the
opportunity among the big
boys
in class to show to everyone
that
I could teach Ronaldinho how
to
dribble pass an entire team
and
score a goal without a drop of
sweat coming out of the body.
The only strength I had back
then in primary school was my
brain and nothing else. My
teachers always said I had in
brains what I lacked in size. I
always wished the opposite.
Being an intelligent student, it
was no huge task coming top
in
class, although I barely read.
Toping the class gave me a
good
fate. I did not get beaten up by
the big boys, and I did not get
to
receive lessons from the angry-
looking canes of the teachers. I
was practically exempted from
all
forms of punishments.
I carried my brain to secondary
school, so with the respect.
Although Buchi prized his
phone
with the value of gold, and
allowed no fingers except his
to
touch it, I was an exception. He
always gave it to me whenever
I
asked for it. He was not doing
that because he was a nice
person. He always did that so
he
could earn the right of
bombarding me with
questions
during examinations.
With the
phone in my hands, I always
had
a great time with PES soccer
game in it.
Even while a teacher was busy
forcing some strange things
into
our little heads, I would be
busy
defeating Real Madrid in a
soccer
game,with either chelsea or
manchester united.I loved the
way drogba always scored
goals unlike other players,so i
always positioned him at the
center foward as my favorite
striker,despitehaving anelka
too.
“Johnpaul!!!”That was the
harsh voice of our integrated
science teacher.I quickly raised
up my head only to find all eyes
on me.It then dawned on me
that he must have been calling
my name for long.I had quickly
hidden the phone inside my
thug.My thug was a thight one
and so i knew it wouldn’t fall.If
he decides to search me,he
wont touch that area,except he
had other intentions.
“What were you doing?”he
asked.
I quickly stood up,holding my
forehead like someone who
needed money contribution for
help.
“Sir,i have a very serious
headache”i lied,making my face
like a dying person.
Buchi knew what happened.
He
gave me the “if anything
happens to my phone”look.
Our teacher pardoned
me,knowing i was a good
student.
Buchi didn’t stop giving me the
phone.This continued for
weeks until I
mistakenly entered a place in
the phone,where i
never should have entered.


>>

Episodes:

Rajnikanth can count infinity, twice.Related

Give it to me [Read it]


A girl kept on shouting "Give it to me! Give it to me!, I'm so wet, give it to me now!"
"If you like shout from now till tomorrow, I wont give you the umbrella." says the boy.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-10 11:20:13

1759 Views





Episode 1
You are ten weeks pregnant!
I fixed my eyes at the newly transferred gynecologist in our local clinic- Nasarawa General Hospital and my eyes dilated the more at the words that had just fallen off her mouth.
“Pregnant?” I asked again and she smiled, her well-arranged set of teeth shining at me gladly.
What was so funny about the news?
Exactly what was the cause of her smile?
“Pregnant?” I asked again, my lips shivering in naked disbelief and fear
The doctor’s smile vanished as she stood up and sat on the table before me.
“Is anything the problem madam?” she asked gently and I could only gaze at her
Everything was the problem!
Everything as a whole!
I stood up abruptly thus causing the doctor’s hands to fall off my shoulders.
“Bye” I whispered as I pulled the door handle
“Hey…Mrs…mrs…” the doctor tried to call me back.
I heard her footsteps, then the flipping of the case note I presumed and the call of my name confirmed my guesses.
“Mrs. Olowo!” she called but I had banged the door behind me.
That was my name!
Olowo!
In Yoruba, Olowo means a very affluent and well-to-do person but I was the opposite!
Totally opposite!
Affluence?…that was far from reality!
Well to do? …that was a no go area!
›››››
I got married to Adejare sixteen years ago amidst very great opposition.
I had met him in the University of Ibadan where we both attended and while he was the Class representative of our class, I was the assistant class rep.
I was popular for my really high IQ, beauty and humility and many guys really wanted my hand in marriage by the time we were graduating.
Adejare was my best friend so I notified him of the many advances from different guys and he had proven to be a good friend that had seasoned words to offer me when necessary.
Adejare knew everything about me except my family background…I told him nothing about it!
I didn’t tell him about the fact that my parents separated few months after I was born into the world;
I didn’t tell him that eventually at age five, both of my parents while on their way to the house of a pastor who sought their reconciliation were involved in a fatal accident and I became an orphan;
I didn’t tell him that I grew up in an orphanage home;
I didn’t tell him that getting into the university was due to the fact that I passed the WAEC examination with distinction and emerged in the third position in Oyo State thereby winning a scholarship which covered my tuition only;
I didn’t tell him that while in school, my feeding formula was always 0-1-0 and the only 1 there would be the rich dish of “Garrium sulphate’’ as we did call Garri in school. The addition of Kulikuli, sugar, milk, and groundnut or eja dindin- fried fish always made the difference though!
I didn’t tell him anything about my past.
I loved Adejare as my friend and never did I wanted him to know this about me.
I feared that he might forsake me when he realized that the beautiful shirts and skirts I wore to classes were the donations of churches, individuals and missionaries to the orphanage home where I was raised!
He was nothing but the son of a well to do man…even his physique said so much!
His shoes were majorly Italian!
His watches were always real gold-laced!
He even got me a very beautiful pair of YXL shoes and purse for my 2
But how long could I hold the secret back when eventually while serving in the same state- Nasarawa, he proposed to me!
And I could not say no…
…’cos I loved him too!
But it was a real tug of war when after researching about me; his parents said it was not going to be possible!
“You can never marry someone unfortunate!” Mummy Adejare blurted out immediately I finished my sad tale
“She isn’t unfortunate!” Adejare retorted, his eyes turning red
“You said she isn’t unfortunate son? How can someone’s parents be separated barely few months after the person’s birth? How?” Daddy Adejare asked, mockingly
“Oh oh! And I wonder why both parents would die same day when they had both determined to reconcile. I mean on the way to reconciliation fa!” Mummy Adejare exclaimed
“Things really do happen folks!” Adejare spat out again, obviously infuriated
“Not so spontaneously like that son!” Dad Adejare shouted too, banging the table loudly that my heart shattered into smaller pieces
“Did she kill her parents? Did she cause their separation? What is her fault?” Adejare shouted back, banging the table too in annoyance.
“This is the first time you are looking your dad up in the face. Isn’t that an indication that this girl isn’t any ordinary?” Mummy Adejare said and my already inflated heart burst out suddenly and as much as I tried to hold in my tears, they flowed as I shook with much violence.
“Daddy, I really don’t believe you could also be against love. You taught me about love. You told me that love is real and that you would support whoever I love. Is this the support dad? Is this…” Adejare cried on, his chest rising and falling as he spoke.
“Definitely, it can’t be someone this ill-fated! It can’t be someone without future, without bearing!” he almost screamed and my already shattered heart was grounded into powder!
I let out a painful shriek and ran to the door.
Adejare followed me
“If you follow that girl out of that door, I will disown you!” I heard Daddy Adejare say and I sprawled out of the room.
“You can do your worst dad! Do it!” He shouted back as he banged the door behind him.
I turned back to look at him but he was not approachable- he looked really fierce!
“Please, go inside” I said in a shaky voice
“No” he replied as he pulled my hands and we walked towards the car.
“Please don’t let’s do this. I will never be a party to enmity between a father and his son. Please go inside.” I repeated when he suddenly threw my hands away
“Who are you for exactly? Tell me. Who do you love? My dad or me?” he screamed at me and I shuddered.
What had happened to him?
He had always told me that he was the father’s pet but what happened today?
Was he disappointed that his dad could disgrace him that way?
“I love you but…” I was saying when he covered my mouth tightly.
“No but! Leave it that way. We can do it without them. Okay?” he asked in a raised voice and I could only nod
As he opened the door for me to enter, the front door of the duplex mansion opened and the dad, walking in a fast motion walked out of it.
“You are not taking that car out of this house. That is my property” he said firmly and my heart dropped.
I looked at Adejare and he blinked so hard as he fought his tears.
“I will leave everything for you” he said, retorting and the father collected the car key from him.
As he walked towards the gate, he kept on pressing his phone as if sending a message and he signaled that I followed him.
I genuflected before the parents as they gazed at me like shit!
I was confused as to what to do?
Was I supposed to support Adejare for standing by me in times like this?
Was I to stay with the parents and tell them not to mind Adejare for being egoistic, telling them that that was his personality?
Exactly what should I do?
As he flagged down a taxi, he let out a very bloodcurdling shriek which made me to run towards him with so much speed that my shoes fell off.
He fell to the ground.
Oluwa o!
The devil is a liar!
I started panting heavily
“Ade mi, what happened? Please talk to me” I asked as I supported his back with my hands


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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“I want to buy some gloves for my wife,” said the young man to the attractive salesgirl, “but I don’t know here size.”


“Will this help?” She asked sweetly, placing her hand in his.


“Oh, yes.” He answered. “Her hands are just slightly smaller than yours.”


“Will there be anything else?” The sales girl murmured as she squeezed his hand.


“Now that you mentioned it,” he replied, “she could use a new bra.”Related

Bad old lady [Read it]


A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large garbage bags behind her.

One of the bags was ripped open, and every now and then, a $50 bill fell out onto the footpath. Noticing this, a cop stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $50 bills falling Out of that bag.”

“Oh, rats! Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.”

“Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop. “Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?” “Oh, no, no,” said the old lady.

“You see, my yard is right next to the baseball stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through a hole in the fence, right into my garden.

Then I thought, “why not make the most of it? So, now, on game days, I stand behind the fence by the hole with my shears.

Every time some guy sticks his dingus through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, “O.K., buddy! Give me $50, or I cut off your thing!”

Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?” “Well, you know,” said the little old lady, “not everybody pays.”Bad old lady


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-09 08:04:20

223 Views




MY WOMAN MY EVERYTHING
EPISODE 1
.
She was from a wealthy and highly respected family. Her father happened to be one of the most successful entrepreneurs in the country, with multiple business interests around the world.
Brenda never lacked anything, except friends. All the people around her were either opportunists or the few she could actually rely on were not comfortable in her company. This made her unhappy. She needed friends she could confide in. But her money couldn’t buy that. The only way she thought she could get what she wanted was to go back to school under a disguise.
She had already finished with her first degree in the UK yet she was willing to embark on this mission. Brenda applied and eventually gained admission into a local University. She was completely on her own though. She had to pay the fees and other bills from her personal savings, as the venture was a secret she was keeping from her father, who wasn’t even aware she was back in the country.
She had to go to school using public transport, leaving behind luxurious cars that she owned. She rented a room close to school and bought some dresses to look like a regular student.
Finally resumption day came… It was time for her very first lecture and all fresh students gathered at the lecture hall waiting for class to begin. The atmosphere was filled with tension, as they were all new to the tertiary system. They hardly knew themselves. Brenda had not arrived yet; she was running late on her first day on campus… She did that on purpose, because she wanted to be noticed as she entered the class.
Soon the lecturer arrived and the class began.
Brenda made her grand entry while lectures were ongoing. Indeed, all the students noticed her, as she looked very charming even in her simple and regular dress. She quickly spotted an empty chair and sat on it.
She was not the only late one though… Another new student Dave arrived in a rush right after Brenda got seated. He was sweaty all over, however he went straight ahead and sat beside her. Dave didn’t realize the beauty he was sitting beside until she gave him a handkerchief to wipe off the sweat.
The lecturer noticed what Brenda did and said: “Shame, how can a handsome guy like you go around with no handkerchief?”
Dave was embarrassed by the lecturer’s comment as it gave the whole class something to laugh about. Brenda felt bad for him and told the lecturer “Sir, the handkerchief belongs him, he actually lent it to me on our way here”
“Do you two know each other already?” asked the lecturer.
Watch out for Episode 2


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Below are the tips you need to know before your joke can be used as "Joke of The Day"

1. It must be fresh and You must be the author of the joke. Copied jokes can never be used as joke of the day no matter how funny it is.

2.It has to be written with pure english language. No slangs, No pigin

3. It must not contain too much abbreviations eg wz, skul, frnd, sowi, kom. Take time to spell each word correctly.

4. Well punctuated.

5. Generally acceptable and should not create hatred.

6. Above all, it must be funny.

If you can obey all these, then your jokes stand the chance of winning "Joke of the Day"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-17 19:53:17

250 Views




A woman prefers a man without money to money without a man!Related

Wat a RIP OFF! I saw a book in the store titled: 37 Mating Positions. I took it home, sat in my room,opend it. Damn it…It was a book on CHESS!Related

Suicide [Read it]


It was Saturday afternoon when Sano had a severe quarrels with his elder brother at home. To avoide this, he decided to go into a forest in a quite place to hing himself before sunset.The heavy black clouds in the sky were getting heavier, the storm was whistling, lightening and thunders were things to be heard and seen. He came across a nice tree and did not waste time but climbed it, tied a fiber in his neck before tying it to a branch and jumped off the branch, before he found himself on the group, a lightenig flashed! He was down on the ground wrestling with a piece of a fiber on his neck. As soon as he stood up! a lion was after him. To his surprise it passed him and sat down in front of him giving him a back. All what came into his mind was to be eaten by it since he have suffered enough. A lion did nothing and ignored him for a while then Sano went and grabbed it by its waste so that it eats him at once. The lion jumped up and lipped to its safety leaving Sano wondering! He had no other option apart from going back home.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-08 22:40:12

605 Views




Akpos was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and hit him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan.
Akpos: "What was that for?"
Wife: "What was that piece of paper in your trouser's pocket with the name Marylou written on it?"
Akpos: "Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on."
The wife looked all satisfied and goes off to work around the house.
Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she repeats the frying pan hitting.
Man: "What the hell was that for this time?"
Wife: "Your horse called.".Akpos fainted



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-31 08:59:44

1261 Views



Our Bed !!! [Read it]


At a small parish in rural England there lived a priest, and several nuns. One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray.
She went to the priest and told him, “Father, I believe your rugs need to be replaced soon.”
The priest thanked her for bringing it to his attention, and told her that he thought that she had been there long enough to refer to church property as ‘our’ not ‘your.’
Several days later, the same nun noticed that the hedge needed to be trimmed.
She again went to the priest and told him, “Father, I’ve noticed that your…I mean our hedge needs to be trimmed.”
The priest thanked her for again bringing something to his attention and this time asked her if she had seen his watch that had gone missing. She said she hadn’t, but assured him she would look for it.
A few days later the parish received word that the bishop would be coming for a visit. The entire parish was busy readying the church for the visit.
On the day the bishop arrived, the same nun came down the front stairs yelling, “Father! Father! I found your watch!”
The bishop said, “How wonderful my child. Where did you find it?”
After saying hello to the bishop, the nun turned to the priest and said, “I found it under OUR bed.”tempRelated

Rich man vrs poor man
A fight between a Rich man and a Poor man.
RICH MAN: You're a fool!
POOR MAN: You are an idiot sir.
RICH MAN: I'm gonna make sure you rot in jail!
POOR MAN: It's a lie jooor, I'm ready for you.
RICH MAN: You gonna hear from my Lawyer soon?
POOR MAN: No problem, I will report you to my
NATIVE DOCTOR!
RICH MAN: Hey brother, I was only joking.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-27 10:42:24

492 Views




I bought some powdered water….but I didn’t know what to add.Related

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone could give him an example of a “tragedy.”
One little boy stands up and offers “If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy.”
“No,” Clinton says, “that would be an ACCIDENT.”
A girl raises her hand. “If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off cliff, killing everyone involved … that would be a tragedy.”
“I m afraid not,” explains Clinton.
“That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS.”
The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer.
“What ?” asks Clinton, “Isn`t there anyone who can give an example of a tragedy?”
Finally a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: “If an airplane carrying Bill and Hillary Clinton were blown up by a bomb, THAT would be a tragedy.”
“Wonderful! ” Clinton beams. “Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?”
“Well ,” says the boy, ” because it wouldn`t be an accident and it certainly wouldn`t be a great loss!”Related

AKPOS: Whats your
contribution?
CALLER: There is this lady i
wanted in my life shortly
after my NYSC, but all my
effort proved abortive. She
wouldn’t pick my calls, she
would laugh at me while
passing by, for reasons best
known to her! FIVE Months
later, i was able to get my
apartment, a new car,
courtesy of a contract job i
secured with a major oil
company. Now most of the
missed calls i have is hers,
dozens of SMS from her and
all that…. i am confused on
what to do. Please help me
out!!!
AKPOS: listen up guy! Pick up
your phone now, give her a
call, letting her know you’ll
be at her house in 2 hours.
You take a good shower,
wear a nice outfit, and an
attention-catching perfume.
When it is exactly 2 hours,
call her and tell her you’ll be
there in another 2 hours.
When the 2 hours is over,
you now drive down to her
house, get down from the
car, walk to her door. Once
she opens the door, welcome
her with the sexiest smile
you’ve got, stylishly look
into her eyes, draw her
slowly to yourself, take your
mouth to her ear and
whisper “THUNDER FIRE
YOUR HEAD”!
HAHA!



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-30 23:25:29

1371 Views




EPISODE 23

‘No. I not going back to the house.’
Richard glanced up at the rear-view mirror.
‘Why?’
‘Madam asking me to leave. She seeing me
again
and I not knowing what she will doing to
me.’
Richard parted his lips to say something
but
didn’t, couldn’t.
‘Richy,’ Vanessa called. ‘If I may suggest, I
don’t
think it’s a good idea taking her back to
the
house.’
‘How?’
‘I mean it’s not such a good thing to do.’
‘What is the better thing?’
‘Let her sleep in a hotel near the park
tonight so
that she’d be on her way early the next
morning.’
‘What?’
‘Yes. Or you can drive to the airport
straightaway
and get her a ticket.’
‘Please, I not entering alo-plane o.’ Mma
folded her
arms below her bosoms.
Vanessa looked at her and took her eyes
back with
vivid unconcern. ‘Any of the two options is
the
better way out.’
‘She is not going anywhere.’
‘Richard?’
‘Yes.’
‘You have a fiance.’
‘A wife almost.’
‘And she just left your house.’
‘And she will be back sooner than you
think.’
Vanessa’s bafflement drove her to silence.
‘What you people talking about?’ Mma
asked.
‘Nothing of particular relevance, Mma.’
Richard
turned into the road that’d take them up
the
bridge.
He glanced at Vanessa. ‘Tell me where to
drop
you.’
Vanessa’s lips became tightly pursed.
‘Drop me at
the estate gate,’ she murmured.
‘Ok.’
Vanessa got down at the estate gate but
two days
after she was back, with a different plan.
TO BE CONTINUED

>>

Continues..
Brenden:wow you look beautiful today
Meno answer)
Brenden:what’s your problem?why avoiding me?
Me:please,please and please!its not by force to talk to someone who is being loquacious all the time.
Brenden:wow!interesting so you are now turning me into the bad guy right?
Me:I don’t care how you classify yourself in my life please just leave me be!
He was about to say something else before the lecturer came in. In 45mins lecture was over. Brenden kept disturbing me.
Brenden:you should be conceited that someone like me is interacting with you(shouting)
Me:huh!really? Then cease your words!I never asked for your interaction or companionship.
I left the class and went under a tree to wait for Preston. I waited over one hour but he didn’t show up. I switched on my phone to call him and j saw a message he had sent to me. The message went like this:
*my love I am deeply and sincerely sorry for not picking you up today. I had a message from my sister that my my father had a fatal accident and my presence was needed because nobody knows if he will be able to surviving the accident. I will make up to you when I come back. Please keep your love for me. I will always call you. I love you.*
After reading this message, tears rolled down my cheeks. I started crying uncontrollably under that tree not wanting to go anywhere at that point in time. 20mins later Miranda came to me.
Miranda:bae I have been looking for all over for you. What’s up why are you crying?
Mereston is gone he left me miranda, he left me
Miranda:even Presley. But don’t worry he will come back. according to Presley they will be back sooner than you think. Stop crying
Mekay
We went to Preston’s house and stayed there for a week but nothing happened even class was boring and I had no story to say about the things being taught as brenden no longer came to class. We moved back to the hostel. Belinda derided and insulted us but we didn’t pay any attention to her. Life in the university was unbearable for me I thought of going back to Europe but it still wasn’t safe enough for me. I cried each day I thought of Preston. News flew by that brenden was out of school. According to some people he went to see pedrick park. Only I and Miranda were alone. Preston never called at all. Only Presley called miranda and also checked up on me with that medium. In whatsapp and other social medias I saw that Preston had blocked me. Presley one day called to tell us about Preston. According to him Preston now have a new girlfriend who came to visit his family all the way from Australia. She and Preston were childhood friends and both parents are planning for their wedding.
I couldn’t help it but cry all day. What Pained me most was that he took away my pride. Preston later sent me a text that I should leave him alone because I texted him a lot and called him uncountably. He insulted me ad being a fake and a s--t. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I cried always. Miranda was always there for me. My eyes was now red and I was becoming thinner. I fainted every hour and 30mins and being stressed out like that for the first time In my life…
To be continued after comments..


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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IJE(The journey)
Episode 2
My mother was called from her shop, and she
came to the house. She listened to Mama Rose
for two minutes, and fell to the ground crying.
Then she stood up, hit our door for minutes but
my father did not open the door. Little by little,
neighbours dispersed and even Mama Rose left,
but Rose stayed behind.
Once again, a meeting was called but this time, I
can’t remember who called the meeting. My
mother did most of the talking, and Sister Faith,
Brother John our first son talked also. My mother
said she was going back to her village, that she
was tired of staying with our father. She said she
was going with Andrew our little brother and the
last child of the family who was seven years old.
My younger sister Peace cried, saying she
wanted to go with our mother, but my mother
said she couldn’t take care of her. Peace was
ten years old. My father was silent, throughout
this meeting and Rose was outside in the
corridor. The next morning my mother was gone
and so was Andrew.
That was the end of life as I knew it. So many
changes happened at the same time. Sister Faith
left her school and started running my mother’s
shop, Rose became a permanent part of our
household, and her stomach grew with every
passing day, as did her mother’s. I and Peace
started hawking pure water and kerosene from
Sister Faith’s store.
Years later, my father was transferred to another
state and he informed us that we had to stay
behind. By this time, Rose had two children,
brother John had left the house for Lagos, I was
still waiting for all the money he promised to
send me when he got there. Sister Faith was still
running the shop, and had a room of her own,
somewhere in town. I and Peace were the only
one at home, with our father and Rose. Father
said we would have to move in with Sister Faith.
I was sixteen years old.
I left secondary school the same year we moved
in with Faith. Life outside the barracks was
nothing like the life I had lived. The people in
sister Faith’s compound, lived a fast paced life.
All the men in the compound, the landlord
inclusive, asked me to be their girl friend. I spent
a lot of time in Sister Faith’s store, I didn’t have
time for any of them. I wish I could say the same
for Peace. I started to notice something was off
with Peace, when I saw her with a lot of money
one afternoon. She refused to tell me who gave
it to her, and even Faith could not get it out of
her.
Peace started buying clothes for herself, and
always had one new gift or another. She didn’t
listen to me anymore, and she spent her time in
the compound, so she was alone most of the
time.
I came back from church that Sunday afternoon,
and went into the room. My sister Peace was
lying face down on the floor, close to the door.
There was blood everywhere. She had not
followed me to church, because she said she
wasn’t feeling too well. I screamed, and grabbed
hold of her, she was very weak, and the blood
coming out of her was scary. She was crying in
pain. She gave me a bloodied piece of paper
while I screamed my lungs out, for help. When
help came, and we finally got her to the hospital,
the doctor said DOA dead on arrival. She had
died from an abortion that wasn’t properly
carried out. The doctor said she might have
ingested something in a bid to remove the baby.

To be continued

>> Episode 3 -

Corpse sharing [Read it]




Two young boys were plucking oranges from a tree belonging to an old man, they heard him coming their way and ran away with the ones they had. While the boys tried to run into the cemetery, they found that the gate was locked and they decided to jump over the fence.

While jumping, two oranges fell from their bag and they left it. When they were safely inside the cemetery, they began to share the oranges.

The boys started counting: One for you, one for me.

A drunkard passing behind the cemetery heard their voices and ran as fast as he could to the church to tell the priest that he has heard God and Satan sharing Corpses. Then the priest came with the drunkard to the entrance of the cemetery to hear for himself.

The boys were still busy counting: One for you, one for me.

After they had shared the ones they had, one of the boys asked the other, “What about the two at the gate?”

Immediately the drunkard and the priest heard this, they took to their heels





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2014-10-03 21:31:08

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2015-03-27 21:19:53

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The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.

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