Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:

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say person no leave 4 house means say na where I'm dey shit?


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2014-10-28 08:43:57

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Loveth: home sweet home(they walked in)mom(no answer)dad;where is my mom?
Lambert: don't asked about her
Loveth: what do you mean by that dad?
Grace: Loveth;so you are save?
Loveth: yes mom(they hugged)i missed you mom
Lambert: what are you doing here?
Grace: forgive me;i beg you
Loveth: what is going on here?
Grace: beg your dad for me;he is mad at me because i force you to marry Jude
Loveth: really?
Grace: yes
Loveth: alright;i will help you;so people will not say,'i break someone marriage' all you need do is make pounded yam and okra soup for me
Grace: just say you want to eat that
Loveth: just look at someone i want to help
Grace: alright;i will
Lambert: even if you do that;i will still not forgive you
Grace: please
Loveth: mom;don't beg him again. someone will not be able to get a peaceful sleep;without you by his side
Lambert: will you stop
Loveth: someone will missed his good night and good morning coffee
Lambert: fine;i will just forgive you cause i don't want my little princess to be...
Loveth: dad;be truthful,you can't stand be mad at mom(she cut her eyes)
Lambert: you cunning
Grace: please....
Lambert: is okay;come here;like princess said;i can really stay mad at you
Grace: thank you(they hugged each other)i will never do it again
Lambert: its enough(he peck her)i love you
Loveth: hmm....i am going to my room oh cause i didn't see anything(she turn to leave and Lambert dragged her back)dad
Lambert: i do love you too
Loveth: i love you too and i just love this family
Grace: you two are my pride(curtain)

Liz: my lord(at the graveside of Lucas)you will always say you be with me forever;there are so many memories will have not make(she cry)you promise me heaven but you give me hell. wake up and tell me;you are just sleeping(Muriel held her shoulder)what are you doing?
Muriel: i came to see you;i know you will be here. go home and freshen up there are a lot of people who need you
Liz: there is really no one left for me out there
Muriel: you still have your son
Liz: son?the one that take my husband from me?the one that i can't get hold on because the law will not set him free
Muriel: don't think ill of your son
Liz: i am not mad at him but i am just a failed mother and i just wish my husband is here with me. he was a good man(she continue crying)not him
Muriel: back then;when i find out that my husband is cheating on me with you;i wish for everything evil to be fallen him and you,when he finally left me for you,i could not stop calling down evil on you but one thing(tears roll her eyes)i didn't wish for;was to see dead because i was hoping that one day we still be together even after the annulment(Liz wipe her tears)when i saw that;my anger melt to pain
Liz: i am sorry;sorry i cause you pain
Muriel: is okay;this life is really ironical,the one person i was so mad at;is the same person that save my son's life. why should i be mad at you. instead of being mad at you,i want us to be friends
Liz: really
Muriel: let us put our differences behind and face the future;the one person that cause us bitterness is no more;why can't we be friends?
Liz: nothing(she cry)
Muriel: lets us be strong for each other;so we can start our family anew. you and me will be the mother and father to our two sons
Liz: thank you my friend
Muriel: come on lets go home
Liz: shall we(curtain)


Ruth: welcome home dad
Luke: thank you love
Muriel: son;what will you eat?
Luke: anything my smile give me
Muriel: really son
Luke: of cause(she hugged him tight and cry)mom;are you okay?
Muriel: yes,i am just too happy that my son is alive and please don't get involve in anything like this again because i wouldn't be able to take it;if anything bad happen to you
Luke: mother;nothing will happen to me. right love
Ruth: yes dad
Luke: you see
Muriel: fine;you two can gang up against me. let me go get you food(enter Joan)
Luke: hey;why are you standing here?
Joan: back then i was wondering and praying;if you were ever going to wake up from the comma;if you wake up;will i be able to set you free
Luke: what do you mean?
Joan: i want to give you the happiness you deserve and for that i will let you go. this is the divorce letter,all you need is to sign this(she show him the letter)just go on and sign it
Luke: Joan;we can still talk about this;i know i did a lot of wrong things to you,i promise i will try and change everything about me
Joan: you don't have to
Luke: i don't want my daughter to grow up without a mother,i want her to be happy
Joan: don't worry about her;we talk about it before now. right baby?
Ruth: yes;dad i know you are not happy with mom and that you like ma Loveth,is okay;with me. if she make you happy
Luke: baby
Ruth: dad;i am fine with it. nothing will make me happier than seeing you happy
Luke: love....
Ruth: just do it(he pick the letter and sign it)
Joan: thank you
Luke: i should be the one thanking you(he hugged her)thank you
Joan: that is enough(she pull herself from him)i got to go
Ruth: mother(she hugged her and cry)i will missed you
Joan: don't worry;i will always call you and i know ma Loveth will take good care of you. be a good girl
Ruth: yes mom(she pull her from herself)bye
Joan: bye(she walked away)
Luke: i am sorry baby(they both hug and cry)i promise i will take care of you
Ruth: i will also take care of you(curtain)


Warder: Jude;you have a visitor
Jude: who is it?
Warder: is a lady
Jude: alright;i go ahead
Warder: alright(she walked to)
Jude: could it be my mom(he walked into the visitor room and find Loveth)you
Loveth: yes;don't you want to see me Jude: is not like that;you are the last person;i thought will come see me
Loveth: even if i am mad at you;i can't close your eyes to your pain. how are you?
Jude: seeing you here;makes me happy,thank you;thank you very much for forgiving me;even with everything that i did to you
Loveth: is not your fault;if i had love you that much as you had show me;then you wouldn't had been in this situation. i am sorry Jude
Jude: why haven't you given up on me?
Loveth: is because you are the only one that love me when no one does;you show me what it means to be married and even for just that i should be grateful to you(she take his hands)i really appreciate
Jude: words will not be able to explain how i feel,knowing that you forgiven me and for this i want to give you what you deserve. you can start your life anew
Loveth: what do you mean?we are still husband and wife
Jude: Loveth;i want you to be happy;you can....
Loveth: i don't want to commit any sin against.....
Jude: that the two shall become one and a man shall only divorce his wife only on ground of adultery
Loveth: yes....
Jude: if you are think of divorce,we both do not really need that
Loveth: i don't get you
Jude: Loveth;we two are not really married because everything about that marriage was illegal standing from our marriage act,the time;place;certificate are all null and avoid,even the so called priest is not a priest;is not.....(Loveth slapped him)i am sorry
Loveth: you fooled me,all this years i endure everything you dish out on me because i thought you are my husband
Jude: Loveth
Loveth: i hate you(she run out with tears in her eyes)
Jude: forgive me(he cry)i am sorry(curtain)


Lambert: i am glad;you were able to make it
Muriel: we can't missed it for anything else
Grace: thank you;baby how are you?
Ruth: fine ma;where is....
Grace: she went to see Jude?
Ruth: uncle is bad a person;he is going to hurt her
Luke: love;he is not a bad person he was just mad at your dad and your ma Loveth cause they did something bad to him. he is still your uncle right?
Ruth: yes dad
Lambert: come on that is enough;i want to thank you for saving my daughter's life;if not for you,she would had be dead
Luke: all thanks to God and she had save my life so many times
Lambert: even at that;i still want to thank you. even if it is the last thing that i do before we travel from this country
Muriel: you are leaving?
Grace: yes(enter Loveth)i just want my daughter to be happy again although she haven't really agree but i just wish she does
Loveth: good day ma
Muriel: how are you?
Loveth: fine ma,dad i will be leaving with you
Lambert: why did you change your mind?
Loveth: i was just one toy thing for him. all this years i have live with him,i am just his concubine. we are not really married
Lambert: i don't get you little princess
Loveth: our marriage is not recognized by the law because everything was makeup
Muriel: i don't believe this
Luke: she is right;both of you are not married
Loveth: even you know about it and you didn't tell me?you let me play the fool and have a guilty conscience when i am innocence
Luke: i am sorry
Loveth: sorry for your stupidity(she walked away from them)
Luke: i am sincerely sorry
Muriel: so you know all this while and you didn't say a word
Luke: not too long ago;it was Jude that told me
Grace: don't worry about her;she will soon get through it
Luke: i pray so
Muriel: can i go talk to her?
Lambert: sure you can;her room is over there
Muriel: alright thanks
Ruth: I'll come with you
Muriel: alright(at Loveth's room)can i come in
Loveth: of cause
Muriel: thank you
Loveth: you can come in(she sit)Love;come here(Ruth walked to her)are you feeling any pain?
Ruth: no;i am just fine
Muriel: Loveth;i am sorry;sorry for hurting and calling you names
Loveth: you don't have to apologies;whatever you did was to protect your son's marriage and that i understand cause that is what all mother's will do
Muriel: but not to hurt others,while doing it. just forgive me
Loveth: is okay(she pack up)
Ruth: do you really want to leave?
Loveth: yes love;i don't have anything to do here. everyone here is hurting me
Ruth: including my dad?
Loveth: baby
Ruth: but i am not hurting you right Loveth: of cause not;i will always love you. come pack with me
Ruth: please;don't go. i beg you
Loveth: but why?
Ruth: please stay for me and my dad
Loveth: you something else. don't worry i will always call you, come join me
Ruth: i don't want to(she ran out)
Loveth: what is wrong with her,
Muriel: i don't know;excuse me(exit Muriel)
Luke: why are you crying?
Ruth: i want to go home
Luke: why?
Ruth: dad;lets go
Grace: did my daughter yelled at her?
Muriel: no;just ignore her
Luke: thank you sir for everything.
Lambert: is okay
Muriel: we go ahead(exit Ruth/Luke/Muriel)
Loveth: dad;where are they?
Grace: they left already
Loveth: that baby is something
Lambert: she is just like you;when you are little
Loveth: dad
Grace: but it is the fact
Loveth: you two go on and gang up on me
Lambert: no one dare(curtain)

Jude: when i was told a male has come to visit me,i was like surprise because i know the only male friend i have in this country is my dad and i have killed him;i got curious.
Luke: really
Jude: yes;i never thought that you will ever show your face to me after all that i had done to you
Luke: i know you don't want to see me because i did a lot of things to you. i know i was always saying i did nothing to your wife but the truth is i did commit a crime because i flirt with her
Jude: on the contrary;i am happy that you came,i just felt that someone still care about me even when i hurt them. you really have a good heart
Luke: even if i want to be mad at you;i can't because we are sibling;no one make choice of the kind of sibling to have and even if i have the opportunity of choosing a brother,i will still choose you because you are the one who taught me to me brave and that life is not always a bed of roses
Jude: forgive me;forgive me for all the bad things i have done
Luke: i have done that;that is why i am here. we should not be thinking about the past but the future
Jude: i wish i could be like you;so i could right my wrong
Luke: you can always right you wrong
Jude: i am here now;i know its either i end up in life imprisonment or i am being sentences to death
Luke: don't talk like that;your mom need you now more than ever
Jude: she didn't forgive me.
Luke: the fact that she is not here;that doesn't mean she stop loving you
Jude: she don't....
Luke: she want to come but she just don't have the heart to see her son behind bars and in pains
Jude: please;promise me;you will take care of my mom when i am not there
Luke: you don't need to asked because sibling look out of sibling
Jude: thank you
Luke: do you need anything
Jude: no;how is Loveth?
Luke: she is sad about the fact that you two are not really married
Jude: i know;i have really wrong both of you;that is why you two should be happy
Luke: what are you saying?
Jude: you can go on and marry her
Luke: Jude
Jude: yes;at first;i thought i love her but i just realise that,i was carried away with anger;i do not want to loss to you and i do not want my friends to laugh at me
Luke: Jude
Jude: yes;go on and be happy because you deserve it
Jude: is okay(curtain)


Vivian: do you want to kill yourself?
Abraham: what is the use of life,without you?
Vivian: you don't have to be like that
Abraham: please;come back to me. i am sorry;is the work of the devil
Vivian: is okay;i am not suppose to expect perfection from you
Abraham: does it mean you forgive me?
Vivian: where is she?
Abraham: she left and the thing is that the pastor deceive me,so i can fully accept ANN into my life
Vivian: i am pregnant
Abraham: really
Vivian: yes
Abraham: thank God;forgive me;so we can start anew
Vivian: yes;i will never let go and i and you together with Jose;we will live together
Abraham: thank you(curtain)

Ruth: dad;have you called her?
Luke: not yet baby
Ruth: come dad
Luke: fine(he called Loveth)hello
Loveth: (phone ringing)hi
Luke: will you be busy tomorrow?
Loveth: i am travelling tomorrow;so i can't make it
Luke: i will wait for you at the artwork place
Loveth: don't wait because i won't come
Luke: is it that....
Loveth: i want to get my life together
Luke: i still want to get mine also
Loveth: then go do it(she end the call)
Luke: hello
Ruth: dad;what is it?
Luke: is nothing
Ruth: is she going to come
Luke: i don't know
Ruth: i will go with you
Luke: you don't have to
Ruth: i want to;i go inside(exit Ruth)
Luke: i just pray my daughter doesn't get mad at me,if she doesn't come(curtain)

Darling: what are you doing here?
Danny: i am sorry
Darling: get out(enter David)David
David: Darling;please don't be mad at my brother
Darling: i don't want anything from this man
David: i was the one that used your car for collateral in order to borrow money from a man lender and the woman you saw is his wife and your husband was just help me out with the debt
Darling: i don't believe you
David: here is the agreement letter(he show her)
Darling: really
David: yes;your husband is not like that
Darling: i am sorry. i was just carried away
Danny: is okay;i will never keep secret from you anymore
Darling: that is enough. thank you David for saving my marriage
David: i cause it;that is why i want to right my wrong
Danny: thank you brother and thank you Darling for giving me a second chance
Darling: we are in this together. let me go and get the kids and my stuff(curtain)

Lambert: Loveth;lets go
Loveth: dad;i am coming(she walked in)
Grace: Loveth;why are you sad?
Loveth: nothing mom;come on dad lets go
Lambert: if you don't want to,we can always stay back
Loveth: no;dad i am fine;let just go
Lambert: alright(they drove off)



Muriel: Luke;your daughter is getting worried. why is she not here
Luke: i don't know
Muriel: call her(he called her but she didn't pick up)
Luke: she is not picking
Ruth: dad;why is she not here?
Luke: baby;relax. i am sure she is on her way;just go on and play
Ruth: alright dad
Muriel: i will go with her
Luke: Love;where are you(back to Loveth)

Lambert: little princess;why are you not picking up
Loveth: dad;is no one of important
Grace: babe;don't you want to talk to him
Loveth: mom;he is married
Lambert: you two don't have to be dating;just maybe you need to clarify some things with him
Loveth: it is better to leave with out seeing him than to say goodbye to him
Grace: Love;you can't never have rest until you set matter straight
Loveth: lets just go. i don't think this is the right time
Lambert: alright(hours passed)


Muriel: Ruth;come eat cookies
Ruth: dad;where is ma Loveth?
Luke: love;i think we should go home
Ruth: why?
Luke: is like she is not going to come
Ruth: i don't want to
Muriel: baby;lets go home
Ruth: leave me alone;i wait for her
Luke: don't be stubborn
Ruth: i hate you dad
Luke: what?
Ruth: you are too selfish
Luke: Love
Ruth: don't call me that;you really don't love me(she ran out)
Luke: i am sorry
Muriel: i will go after her
Luke: okay(exit Muriel)i thought you said....(back to Loveth)


Lambert: i go check in(message enter Loveth phone from Ruth)princess;you have a message
Loveth: dad;i know,very soon my line will be off
Lambert: but this is from Ruth
Loveth: what?(she read it)please go to my dad;i am sick. she is with him
Grace: what is it?
Loveth: dad;i want see Ruth
Lambert: i come with you
Loveth: no;just go on
Grace: don't think about it;we are coming with you
Loveth: thank you dad(they drive to Luke)i just pray she is fine(back to Luke)

Luke: i was thinking that(to the love story on the tomb)you said the person;with whom i stand here with reading this story is my one true love but it is....
Loveth: do you still think that will happen?(she held his shoulder)i used to believe in ideology but now;i am being realistic,real life is different from fairytale and why are you still waiting here?i was thinking you wont be here anymore
Luke: you remember this(he show her the necklace she gave to him five years back)do you?
Loveth: of cause;do you still have this?
Luke: it happen to be the only gift you gave to me;the only one thing that remind me of you. when you gave this;you said i should let time erase every memories we have;learn to forgive you,even if you hurt me and that i should wait for you no matter how long it takes you to get to me
Loveth: nothing really change about you but just one thing did change and because of that one thing,every thing change about us and that one thing(tears roll her eyes)has deprive us from being together
Luke: there is nothing stopping us;just marry me. Jude has approve of it
Loveth: i don't want to be a concubine or commit bigamy
Luke: nothing of such. i and Joan;are no longer married. our marriage had been annul
Loveth: you broke her heart because of....
Ruth: no dad;didn't do it because he is selfish but because mom wanted dad to be happy
Loveth: what?
Ruth: i saw in your room those handkerchief you wrote on,the day i went to your house,'that when you love someone going an extra miles for them,is just too small compare to your love for them'(she brought out another)is because i love you superman;i will risk my life for you to be live(tears roll everyone eyes) what used will dad's life be if the one thing that make him happy;you can't give to him
Loveth: baby;you know nothing about love
Ruth: yes;i know everything from the prince and princess story,'love is thinking of the other interest instead of yourself. just marry my dad and make us happy(Ruth cry)
Loveth: baby;i can't (she to leave and Lambert held her hand)
Lambert: you deserve to be happy;just has he deserve it. don't close your heart even to the pain of this baby
Luke: even if you don't accept me,you will always be in my heart and i will keep it empty for you;not for just days;weeks;months;years but until my last breath because my love for you is eternal. come mom;lets go(he turned to leave and Loveth held his hand)yes
Loveth: do you have to give up on me now;after everything
Luke: i will never give up on you but i will wait till the day you will say yes to marry me
Loveth: i will marry you
Muriel: whoa!
Loveth: yes;i will marry you because you are my perfect shoe
Luke: babe;she said she will marry me(everyone clapped)i love you
Ruth: thank you ma Loveth
Loveth: thank you baby
Ruth: can i call you mom
Muriel: baby
Loveth: yes;you can(she hugged her)
Ruth: mom
Lambert: that is enough;lets go home. it is getting too late
Loveth: alright dad
Lambert: you can come with your family for the marriage rite
Luke: alright(he walked away)
Grace: baby;come on,why is he coming back?
Loveth: did you forget something Luke: yes(he kissed her)bye
Lambert: this boy is something else
Grace: lets go home(curtain)

Loveth: in this quest of marriage i have learn so many things that marriage isn't a competition;the fact that your friends are and you are not that doesn't mean you will jump into any available man that show up even when you see all the danger surround it and to mothers;we shouldn't be too eager to give our daughter hand in marriage all in name of want to be a grandmother because marriage is a shoe,if you wear an undersize one;be ready to feel the pains and where you wear an oversize;you drag your foot all your life because this shoe call marriage you are not allowed to pull it on the way to take a break. so for my single sisters;be careful when you decide to wear this shoe of yours; you shouldn't just pick any one;you shouldn't go for just the expensive and nice looking ones or even the extremely cheap ones;bearing in mind that look can be deceiving at time;not all shoe size are find in same position in the shoe shop and the fact that you got married to a Christian that doesn't guarantee that your marriage will be perfect just as my friends;they both get married to people with different ideology of life but the one everyone thought will be bad turn out to be the best;so just pray that the one,you love should have fear of God in their heart. so please do not rush into it take your time to find that perfect shoe of yours because you might not be fortunate like be;cause this one thing i wish for all my life God has given me. a family who love me and a daughter whom didn't come from me but love me like she did
Ruth: happy anniversary mom
Loveth: thank you love
Luke: happy anniversary love
Loveth: happy anniversary(she hugged him)i love you
Luke: i love you too
Ruth: surprise(she give her a shoe)come on try it(she wear it)this suit you mom
Loveth: yes;is just like your dad;my perfect shoe. thank you baby
Ruth: you welcome. i love you
Loveth: come on lets eat
Liz: not with out me
Luke: mother
Grace: even me
Loveth: oh my God!i thought you wouldn't make it
Grace: happy anniversary Love,this time;we will be celebrating more of this
Muriel: of cause
Loveth: what more can i asked for?
Lambert: nothing dear
Loveth: i just love this







(END)
I JUST WANT TO SAY THANKS TO YOU ALL FOR YOUR TIME ENERGY MONEY YOU USED IN BUY MB THANKS ONCE MORE.......PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO DROP YOUR COMMENT



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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My girlfriend and me were dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, quite much indeed, and that was my mother-in-law to be. She was a career woman, smart, but most of all beautiful and sexy, who sometimes flirted with me, quite obviously too, and made me feel uncomfortable.

One day, she called me and asked me to come over, to check the invitations. So I went. She was alone, and when I arrived, she whispered to me, that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she can`t overcome. So before I get married and commit my life to her daughter, she wants to make love to me just once..

What could I say? I was in total shock, and couldn`t say a word.

So, she said, I`ll go to the bedroom, and if you are up for it, just come and get me.

I just watched her delicious behind as she went up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, and then turned around and went to the front door… I opened it, and stepped out of the house.

Her husband was standing outside, and with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said, we are very happy and pleased, you have passed our little test. We couldn`t have asked for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

Lesson learned: Always keep your condoms in your car.Related

Shopkeeper: This sweater’s made of pure virgin wool sir.

Santa: You see I am not interested in the morals of the sheep. Just tell me, will it keep me warm?Related

Teacher : Which is D Best

Month to Study ?

:

:

Student :

Octembruary.

.

.

Teacher : Dont

Be Silly Der is No Such

Month.



Student : Xactly. 3:)Related

One who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger.

~ Japanese ProverbRelated

“Its unfortunate, we tried all that we could, but
Mansa can’t be able to walk again, it will take a
miracle to make her walk” The Doctor said.
“Oh no my daughter, God will surely answer my prayers” Mrs Amposah said.
“He will indeed answer, Mansa will walk again.
Doc
can we see her now? Obed asked.
“Now about that, did any of you serve Mansa with
breakfast today?” The Doctor asked. Obed and Mrs Amposah looked surprised with
that question.
“Am afraid no, what is it” Mrs Amposah asked.
“Can i see you in my office Mrs Amposah” The
Doctor asked.
“Yeah sure” Answered Mrs Amposah. She then followed the Doctor to the office. From
the question the Doctor gave, Obed knew that it
has to do with food poisoning.
He wanted to see Mansa at all cost. Since he knew
her ward, without the notice of anyone, he slowly
entered the ward of Mansa. There she was, lying in her bed, looking up to the
ceiling. She was lost in thought.
She knew she has been poisoned and that got her
thinking.
Who could have done such a thing to her? What
wrong has she done to anyone to be treated like this? And who really sent that young Abena girl
who claimed that she was sent by Mrs Amposah.
This were the only few questions among many
which run through her mind as she laid in her sick
bed.
She had no idea that she couldn’t walk. When Obed walked in, she didn’t even notice
because, she was so lost in thought.
Even though she couldn’t feel her legs move,
amazingly she felt a cold touch on her toes.
That distracted her from her thoughts, she quickly
checked to see who it was. It was Obed. She smiled as she saw him. Her smile was so
beautiful that it also got Obed smiling.
He came closer to her, looked into her eyes.
Mansa called out his name softly ” Obed”
Obed however, placed his finger on her lips,
shushing her. He slowly bend his head down and kissed her fore head.
“Mansa, you are well” Obed said.
“I know My God will heal me Obed” Mansa said.
” Don’t talk my dear, just pray and thank God.”
Obed said.
He took out a complementary card from his pocket
and gave it Mansa.
“As soon as you get out of here, go to this
address”
Obed said.
“For what Obed, why are you acting strange” Mansa said.
She was worried about the attitude of Obed. He
was acting really strange and to some extent it
scared Mansa.
“I will be right back, let me check on something
will be back then we can talk” Obed said with a
smiling
face.
“where are you going to Obed? Mansa asked.
” Don’t worry, i will be back. Close that beautiful
eyes of yours and pray my dear” Obed said this and walked out of the ward.
Kuu was at the police station, still praying and
asking God for forgiveness. He felt alone and sad.
He thought he had been rejected by his family.
Ever since he was arrested. Apart from Obed and
his mother’s lawyer, no one had come to visit him,
not even Chris or his own mother.
He felt neglected for his actions. Even though he
had not been convicted yet, already he felt he has
been isolated.
His only comfort was in prayer. As much as he always prayed to God for forgiveness, he felt
inspired and strengthened after each prayer.
During that morning, one of the policemen came
and called him out. To his surprise, the policeman
told him that he was a free man.
He couldn’t believe his ears. That was impossible, who could be behind this, he dressed up in the
shirt he wore when he got arrested. As he walked
to the counter he saw Obed there waiting for him.
“Obed, how did you do it?” Kuu asked.
Obed smiled at him and said,
“Just get yourself ready, i will be waiting for you outside” Obed said and went out.
Kuu was given some papers to sign and as soon
as
he was done, he went out to meet Obed.
He got out and Obed was no where to be found,
he looked around everywhere but couldn’t find him
anywhere.
“where could he be? Kuu asked himself.
He waited for awhile to see if he will show up but
he didn’t.
He had no option than to go. The first thing that came to his mind was to go and see Mansa at the
hospital. He quickly left the police station.
Back at the Doctor’s office, the Doctor had a
lengthy discussion concerning the food poisoning
of Mansa that almost made her lost her life.
He advised that apart from Mrs Amposah and any other person who she will recommend, no one
will
have the privilege to visit Mansa until she is finally
discharged for precautionary measures.
Mrs Amposah agreed to what the doctor had said
and recommended only Riri and Chris. Apart from them, no one will be allowed to see Mansa.
Right after their discussion Mrs Amposah asked if
she could see Mansa briefly.
The Doctor gave her the go ahead and together
they came out of the office.
“Mum” Kuu called her from behind as soon as they
got out of the office. He had arrived at the
hospital.
His mother was so surprised to see him.
“Kuu, how, was about to come and see you” Mrs
Amposah said. Kuu shock his head and said
“Am here now, how is Mansa? Kuu asked.
” We are about going to see her, meet the Doctor.
he is the one taking care of Mansa, Doc this my
son Kuu”
They shake hands but was interrupted when someone called Kuu from the back.
It came from Mansa’s ward. They turned and to
their surprise, there stood Mansa on her two legs
standing in front of the ward.
She looked healthy and was able to walk.
“what, this can’t be? The Doctor said with amazement.
To be continued
You're reading "Tears Of A Bleeding Heart episode
21" for more stories click here www.facebook.co m/mrcouple4u Episode 22 “what? this can’t be. The Doctor said
with amazement. “Doc, I’m feeling very well. It’s
as if nothing had happened to me” Mansa said
Kuu jumped into her and hugged her so tight.
“Aww Kuu, I miss you so much” Mansa said.
“Mansa, please forgive me, forgive me please” Kuu kept on saying. “What are you saying Kuu?
What have you done that you need forgiveness”
Mansa asked. Mrs Amposah just stood there. She
was completely lost of words. It was like a dream
to her. “Doc, kindly run some test on her to be
sure she’s really alright. Who knows? “Mrs Amposah said. “She looks fine to me but i will
surely do that. Its amazing. Her spinal cord was
totally damaged. This is really a miracle. Mansa
kindly follow me, I need to run some test on you”
the doctor said and went into the ward with her.
Mrs Amposah was left with Kuu at the OPD. She was still speechless, completely speechless. Kuu
noticed that his mum was not in a happy mood. ”
Mum, you seem not be happy about Mansa’s
condition? Kuu asked her. ” Look, there are a lot
of things on my mind now so don’t start. In fact,
don’t!” Mrs Amposah said. “Oh yeah, i see that Mum. A lot of things on your mind that you even
forgot to visit your own son when he was
arrested”, Kuu told her. “How dare you talk to me
like that? I thought i told you that i was getting
ready to come there” Mrs Amposah said angrily.
Meanwhile Chris was on his way to see Asabea. He knew that if he didn’t do something about it, she
will end up doing something worse that he may
probably not be able to handle. He got to her
place, knocked the door severally until she finally
opened. She was very surprised to see him there.
“So you finally decided to show up” said Asabea. “Can you please let me enter so we talk” Chris
pleaded with her. “I see. I never knew you could
be this sober. You may come in” Asabea said and
left him behind the door. Chris followed up to her
room and sat on the nearest sofa he could find. It
was his plan to manipulate Asabea into siding with him, then eventually he will pay her off. ”
Yes, what brings you here? I don’t have much
time on my side” Asabea said. Chris stood up
from his chair and went straight to where she was
sitting and knelt down before her. Asabea had
never seen that side of Chris before. Somehow his actions touched him but she was determined to
remain difficult. Anytime she thinks of what Chris
had done to her, she gets filled up with hatred
and anger. “Asabea, I’m really sorry about what
ever is going on. I know what i have done to your
health and life but give me the chance to take care of you” Chris begged her. ” Its amazing how
Chris will beg for my forgiveness. I suppose you
are doing this because of Mansa’s condition”
Asabea said. “What has Mansa got to do with
this? Chris asked. From the way Asabea spoke, it
was obvious that she had something to do with that food poisoning. Chris however didn’t know
but knew that she was up to something. “Oh so
that girl still survived. How interesting? I see”
Asabea said. “Survived what? What are you
talking about? Chris asked with anxiety. “Anyway,
how then do you intend to care for me when you can’t erase that deadly sickness you have given
me” Asabea said. “Just ask for anything and it will
be granted. Just ask me. ” Chris proposed.
Meanwhile, back at the hospital, Kuu was with his
mother waiting on the doctor. Mrs Amposah had
a phone call so excused herself from where Kuu was sitting. On Phone….. Caller: “Mrs Amposah, i
have been waiting for you for so long and up till
now, you are still not here.” Mrs. Amposah: “I’m
at the hospital. look, it seems Mansa is back on
her feet. She was looking very healthy when i got
here” Caller: “Are you sure about this?” Mrs Amposah: ” You can come and see for yourself.”
Caller: “Mrs Amposah, that does not change
anything. You still need to pay me for what i did.”
Mrs Amposah: “Look girl, as far as I’m concerned,
things are not going as planned. You need to
hold on with the payment.” Caller: ” No no, that was not the agreement. I need my money now or
i will blow you out.” Mrs Amposah got very angry
with the statement from the caller. Mrs Amposah:
” Are you threatening me? You must be out of
your mind. Don’t forget your place.” Caller: “Mrs
Amposah, I’m not joking. You can call it a threat or whatever, i need my money within the next
48hours.” The caller said and hanged up on Mrs
Amposah. “I can’t believe it. Look at this one too,
threatening me.” Mrs Amposah said and went
back into the hospital. Fortunately, as soon as she
got to the OPD, the doctor was coming back from the ward with Mansa. Mansa’s face was covered
with smiles as she was coming back with the
doctor. “Mrs Amposah, this is really a miracle.
Nothing seems to be wrong with Mansa now
apart from the miscarriage she had. However, I
can’t confirm as some of the result are not yet in” the doctor said. “Doc, so can i please go home
now” Mansa asked. “No, you must stay till all least
the results are in” Mrs Amposah said. “Well
honestly, i don’t think there will be a problem
with that. I don’t know why i should keep her.
She is fine and free to go home” the doctor declared and left them to his office. Mrs Amposah
was so not happy about it. “Where is Obed?
Mansa asked. “I’m looking for him as well. Ever
since he came to the police station to see to my
bail, I have not set my eyes on him” Kuu said. ”
Are you saying Obed was behind your release?” Mrs Amposah asked. “What’s going on here? Kuu,
were you arrested? Mansa asked. “Don’t worry,
there is a lot to talk about when we get home”
Kuu said. “Alright, if you say so but i think i know
where to find him. He gave me an address this
morning. I think he might be there, you guys should take the lead, I will be back with him to
the house” Mansa said “Fair enough, Kuu lets get
going” Mrs Amposah said and left with Kuu to
their house. Mansa boarded a cab and gave the
address to the cab driver since she didn’t really
know the place. Soon she arrived at the place. It was a huge building made up of various offices.
Mansa thought she was at the wrong place but
the only way she could find out was to rectify if
the address was indeed were she was currently.
She entered the building which seem to be a very
busy place with all caliber of people walking up and down dressed in cooperate out fit. She went
straight to the front desk, gave the address to the
the lady at the front desk. The lady looked at the
card and made a phone call. Receptionist: “Hello,
someone is here to you see you” Unknown
person: “Who is that? The receptionist asked of Mansa’s name and she answered accordingly
Receptionist: “she is Mansa ” Unknown: “Let her
come in.” The receptionist hanged up and
directed Mansa to the office. All along she taught
she was going to meet Obed. When she got to
the office, she knocked and entered. To her surprise, it was an elderly yet elegant worthy
woman who was busily working on some
documents. “Good day madam” Mansa greeted.
“Yes, how may I help you? ” the woman asked.
“My name is Mansa, I’m actually after Obed. He
gave me this address to come here,” Mansa said. The woman immediately stopped what she was
doing and looked at Mansa’s face carefully.
“Excuse me, what did you say your name is? she
asked again “Mansa, Madam” Mansa answered.
“…and Obed gave you my address” she asked.
“Yes Madam,” Mansa said. The woman quickly stood up from her chair, went straight to Mansa
and embraced her with tears in her eyes. “Oh my
God, you have finally brought my daughter to
me,” The Woman said embracing Mansa so tight
with tears in her eyes. To be continued

>>


The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.

~ James OpenheimRelated

I Have Changed [Read it]


I Dnt Knw Book.I Use 2 Score 3% 2 5%,And Our Score Start 4rm 1% 2 100%.Our Scores Ar Called 4rm D Lowest To D Highest.we Have Finish Our Exams And Its Time Our Teacher Call Our Names And Scores And We'll Be Given Our Slip...My Teacher Called Dose Who Score 4om 1% To 10% And I Was Surprised Dat My Name Wasnt Dere.He Den Proceded To Call Dose Who Scored 4rm 20% To 50% And My Name Wasnt Among.D Whole Class Turned And Look At My Face,dey Were All Surprised.Our Teacher Called Dose Who Scored From 60% 2 70%.My Name Was Not Dere.Den I Started Shouting @ Dose Looking At Me Dat Dey Are No Match 4 Me Even D Most Brilliant Boy In My Class Was Surprised.Dere Were 3 Scripts Remaining And My Name Was Not Still Dere.I Became Proud And Told Dose Beside Me Dat I Am More Brilliant Dan Dem.D Teacher Called Dose Who Score 80% 2 90%.Den 1 Script Was Remaining,D Whole Class Started Clapping 4 Me.I Was Very Happy Until D Teacher Said"One Idiot Did Nt Wryt His Name,he Score 0%.If U Ave Nt Collect Ur Scripts Come Out Here!!.I Fainted


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-22 10:42:30

233 Views



Who wins [Read it]


You are watching over your babe and putting her on test to know if she is materialistic, she in turn, is putting you on test to know how stingy you are and the devil is putting both of you on test to see who fails. Watch it......


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-20 14:21:37

434 Views



true Story [Read it]


Do you know that: 


Ali is no longer a boy? 


Simbi is now a mother with two children? 


Chike is no longer the river boy but he is now a marine engineer?


Edet no longer lives in Calabar he has moved to Canada.? 


Agbo is happily married with kids and has left the town of Lagoon for London? 


Eze no longer goes to school he is now a graduate? 


Even Mr Salami is no longer a farmer but a politician?


Remember Ralia d sugar girl? She now owns one of the biggest sugar factories in Kano.


Ade our naughty little brother is now a doctor in one of the biggest hospitals in the country.


Wow! What great memories of old stories in the days of Macmillan English.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-22 14:33:04

250 Views




There were three men living together in
London.
An Afro-American, a West Indian and a
Nigerian.
They were all starving because they didn't have
money to buy food.
However upon coming close to a posh London
restaurant in this classy neighbourhood, they
decided to come up with a plan.
The Afro-American went in first. After being
seated, he ordered a three course meal with
white wine. When he had finished the meal,
the
waiter came by with the bill. "LISTEN MY MAN,
I ALREADY PAID YOU!" - the Afro-American
shouted! The waiter was very confused because
he could not remember being paid. But
because
he did not want to cause any trouble, he let the
brother leave.
Five minutes later, the West Indian walked into
the same restaurant and ordered a five course
meal with red wine. When he was finished
eating, the waiter came by to collect the money
for the food. "HEY, HEY, LOOK AT ME
CROSSES. BUT AH PAID YOU ALREADY!" - the
West Indian shouted. This time the manager
came and had to calm down the West Indian,
because he did not want anything to upset the
other customers. He let the guy go.
Ten minutes later, the Nigerian walked in. And
you know how we are. He sat down. Lit up a
cigarette, and ordered the most expensive
meal
on the menu, plus two bottles of Beer. After he
had finished, the waiter came to collect the
money for the meal, But before the Nigerian
could say anything, the waiter foolishly spoke
to him. "Sir, I have been having all sorts of
problems all day
and I can't understand it. Two other people like
you came in earlier and ate, and they say that
they paid me but I don't remember getting any
money from them so, " Before he could finish,
the Nigerian interrupted, rather emphatically,
"OGA I'M SORRY FOR YOU OH! BUT THAT ONE
NA
YOUR PROBLEM. I JUST WANT YOU TO GIVE
ME MY CHANGE!!"
lolzzz!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-12 20:06:38

311 Views




A man and his wife go to their
honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected
on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband,
"When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was
going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I
wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits
dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she
asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if
I did a pretty good job then.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-26 13:48:22

327 Views




Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

-George F BurnsRelated

VALENTINE'S DAY REPORT FROM our team here on Nairajokes
(1) Engagements .........12%.
(2) Heart breaks ........95%.
(3) Wife caught cheating ........69%.
(4) Husband caught cheating ......79%.
(5) Condom sales .........99%
(6) Fast food sales ........89%
(7) Visit to Motherless Babys' Homes, prisoners/
cells, beggars/destitutes .........2%.
( Girls in hospital over Love........50%
(9) Boys in hospital over Love.......5%
(10) Girls arrested for fighting over
Boys.......59%.
(11) Boys arrested for fighting over
Girls.......10%
(12) Husbands beating wives in
public....... 804 counted.
(13) Pregnancy ......... 39,572.
(14) Number of switched off phones on Feb 14
2016..... 9 million .
We are still taking statistics....
I will keep you all Updated


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-15 13:52:50

515 Views




A husband and wife were arguing on who was the bravest amongst them.
After a while they decided to ask their kids Akpors and Philo what they
thought about this.
The first child Philo said: Mummy is braver
because daddy is scared of women, when daddy sees a beautiful lady he
closes one of his eyes (meaning he winks at the lady). The wife
realizing the meaning of what the daughter meant was very angry with her
husband, but after a while she stopped nagging him and decided to hear
what Akpors would say about the matter.
The Second kid Akpors said:
Hmnnn, I’m sure daddy is braver oh, mummy is scared of many things
especially to sleep alone. She is so scared of being alone that whenever
daddy works night shift mummy goes to sleep with our neighbor.
Sometimes she invites the gardener or Uncle Kingsley to sleep with her.
Sometimes Uncle Mayowa the Youth Corper, after leaving your room even
escorts her to the bathroom & baths with her just because she’s
scared.
The husband fainted!
One word for this guy?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-09 22:22:37

154 Views



Do you smoke [Read it]


Evangelist: “How many cigars do you smoke a day?”
Akpos: “About fifteen.”
Evangelist: “What do they cost you?”
Akpos: “ten naira a piece.”
Evangelist: “My, that’s 150 naira a day. How long have you been smoking?”
Akpos: “forty years.”
Evangelist: “Two 150 a day for forty years is a lot of money.”
Akpos: “Yes, it is.”
Evangelist: “Do you see that office building on the corner?”
Akpos:“Yes.”
Evangelist: “If you had never smoked in your life you might own that fine building.”
Akpos: “Really?, Ok Do you smoke?”
Evangelist: “No, never did.”
Akpos: “Do you own that building?”
Evangelist: “No.”
Akpos: "Then leave me alone"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-05 08:57:45

11650 Views



IN MY SHOES [Read it]


A teacher was testing her students'
intelligent level... "I saw a snake on my way home.
Assuming you were in my shoes, what
will you do?" asks the teacher. JAMES: I will look for stick and kill it! "That's smart of you James." says the
teacher. "Robbers attacked me in my car and
said, ''Your car keys or your life!
Assuming you were in my shoes, what
will you do?" asks the teacher again. JOY: I will give them the car keys and
run for my life. Once there is life, there
is hope. "Wow! That's so wise of you Joy." says
the teacher. "I returned from work, opened my door
and saw 50 million dollars on my bed.
Assuming you were in my shoes, what
will you do?" asks the teacher. AKPOS: I will bite your toes until you
faint. I will then come out from your
shoes and take all the money! TEACHER: Fool! You can't literally be
inside my shoes. It's a figure of speech. AKPOS: You can't literally open your
door and see 50 million dollars on your
bed. That's a figure of speech.
#BOLLY_SHOW ?? ? ? ?™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-23 13:17:24

369 Views




Tongue says to teeth: if i misuse a single word, all 32 of you will come out.
Teeth replies: if I just press a little, you'll get cut.
"Fools, Keep talking, i will soon lock both of you up"
What made that last statement ?



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-22 18:46:07

463 Views




Now that our president and his vice have declared
their assets, it is pertinent that l do same as a good
citizen......I therefore declare my assets as follows:
1. DVD player---ONE
2. T-shirts---EIGHT
3. Woman---ONE 4. Plasma TV---ONE
5. Pay TV - - 2 (GoTv, Startimes)
6. Bathroom Slippers---ONE
7. Shoes---THREE, Sandals --ONE
8. Mattress(Mouka12by14)---ONE
9. Pure water----HALF BAG 10.Textbook---THREE 11. Journals---TWO
12. Bottle of groundnut Oil---ONE
13. Bottle of Palm Oil---ONE
14. BlackBerry Phone---ONE,
15. Different kinds of food---TEN ( Gari--THREE
CONGOS, Golden Penny Wheat flour---1kg, Golden Penny Semo---1kg, Pando Yam 1kg, Tubers of
cocoyam---TEN , Rice---THREE CONGOS, Oloyin
Beans---ONE CONGO, Indomie Noodles---HALF
PACK, and Kuli kuli----HALF CONGO+ Roasted
Groundnut---ONE BOTTLE
16. Ankara---THREE, Tops---+THREE,
17. Pots---TWO,
18. Set of spoons---ONE,
19. Lamp----ONE,
20. Kerosene Stove---ONE,
21. Carpet----ONE, 22. Transistor Radio---ONE,
23. Bank Details:
a. FirstBank---N1542.65k,
b. ECO Bank---N550.30k,
c. DIAMOND Bank---N870.90k.
24. Bible (King James)---ONE. 25. Ceiling Fans-- THREE
NOTE:- This declaration is open to verification by
CCT.
#Please if you want to continue to be my friend
declare your assets now!!!. #All nah joke_me no fit joke wit u again #Nairajokes # www.facebook.com/9jastudentforum #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-26 18:07:27

574 Views




Winning is like sex, the more you do it, the more you like it.

-Felix SabatesRelated

Akpos submitted his English Composition assignment to his class teacher...

TEACHER: Your assignment is the worst in the class. It's not only ungrammatical, it's rude and in bad taste. I'm going to send your father a note about it.

AKPOS: I don't think that would help ma. He wrote it.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-12 17:45:11

576 Views



CRK teacher [Read it]


A new CRK teacher, transferred to a JSS 2 class
during the mid term, wanted to know how well
the students understood the syllabus so far. He
decided to start from the last topic the
previous teacher had taught, "Hello class, who
broke down the walls of Jericho?"
There was a full minute of absolute silence. All
the students just stared at him blankly. The
teacher then pointed at the students in the
front desk to answer the question. The students
began responding.
Amos: "Sir I'm a new student here, I just started
this school last week."
John: "Sir the day the walls was broken, I
didn't come to school, I swear"
MARY: "Sir I only passed by the walls of
Jericho, I didn't even touch it, as it was already
broken when I passed it."
Rufus: "Sir, I didn't even know the walls had
been broken, until you mentioned it now."
The teacher became so shocked and infuriated,
"What!!!" He screamed. The Students began
murmuring amongst
themselves that the new teacher is so mean.
The teacher, shocked by their ignorance,
stormed to the principals office to tell him what
happened. The principal kindly responded,
"Sorry about that. You know how mischievous
these JSS students can be? Always destroying
things and later denying it. But be rest assured,
this matter would be fully investigated. Just
write down the total cost in fixing the said wall,
and at the next PTA meeting the issue would be
discussed"
The CRK teacher fainted
Who is more silly, the students or the
principal? Comment below.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-27 07:53:31

286 Views




She dreamed of you from the time she was
a little girl cradling a baby doll in her arms.
She always saw you playing around the
little cottage in her childhood dreams.
She carried you in her body and you made her sick every morning for weeks and
weeks. She bore you into the world through
intense pain but when she heard you cry
and saw your wrinkled face she forgot all
about it and wept tears of joy.
She fed you at her breast and her whole world revolved around you. She stole into
your room at night just to watch you sleep
and she was sure you were the most
beautiful child on earth. She set up through
the night to bathe away the fever and at
breakfast your dad said; "Sleep well, honey?" oblivious to the all-night vigil. She
somehow always knew when you needed
her, even in the middle of the night, and she
came to your room and changed your
bedding and made sure you were warm
and dry. She covered your ears and gave you your
coat and checked your homework and set
through all your ball games. She nagged
you to brush your teeth with words of
wisdom like; "Be true to your teeth or they
will be false to you." She changed your diaper and cleaned up when you were sick.
And who do you think always cleaned the
gunk out of the kitchen sink and bathtub
drain?
Her cookies made you forget the beating
you took from the neighborhood bully. She listened to you and didn't laugh when
others would have mocked you. She
believed in you when you didn't believe in
yourself and prayed for you even when
you didn't think you needed it. She made
you think you could do things you were sure you couldn't do. She was tough
enough to call your bluff and discipline you
and give you a sense of boundaries and the
security that comes with it. She knew when
you needed a spanking or just a nap and
she didn't always give you candy though she longed to indulge you.
She was always waiting when you came in
late. When you complained about it, she
pretended to be asleep the way you always
did when you wanted her to carry you in
from the car after a long trip. She read the Bible to you and read the Bible
in front of you and did what mothers have
to do to make sure the family is faithful in
church. She made your dad a much better
man than he ever would have been without
her. She mended clothes as a labor of love and it broke her heart to see how quickly
you grew out of them. She knew you were
only loaned to her from God and soon the
house would fall silent again. She washed
mountains of dishes and truckloads of
laundry. She put up food on the hottest summer days and didn't complain.
She filled your home with fragrance and
beauty and music. The smell or her perfume
and fresh-cut flowers, bacon for breakfast
and Sunday roast. Her eyes were bright and
happy and full of life. She wept though, wept and worried a thousand times for you
when no one ever knew. She took the
blame for your failures and stood back and
let your dad have the glory for your
successes.
And having done all these things and a thousand others that make mother a sacred
word, she still felt she wasn't the mother
she should have been. #Mothers i Hail ooo #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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What happens to the Lipstick used by
ladies? 5% of the Lipstick is stuck to the cutlery. 25% of the lipstick goes to Tissue Paper
and Cotton Tabs at the time of
removing the Make Up. 15% of the Lipstick goes in the Drain at
the Time of Washing the Face and Lips. 10% is Dumped in the Garbage as
Unused. 5% of the Lipstick is found in the
Women's Stomach due to newer
flavours and essences. And the remaining 40% of the Lipstick...
I Guarantee you that you will find it in
Man's Stomach.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-02 15:41:30

357 Views




(1).Finding one of her students
making faces at others on
the playground, Ms. Smith
stopped to gently reprimand
the child. Smiling sweetly, the
Sunday school teacher said,
"Akpos, when I was a little
girl, I was told if that I made
ugly faces, it would freeze
and I would stay like that."
Akpos looked up and
replied, "Well, Aunty, you
can't say you weren't
warned."
(2).Akpos wanted 2 urinate and tell his aunty.'pls,can i go and pee pee'.his aunty observed the mistake and tried to correct him.'may i go and urinate'.Akpos replied.'but aunty i asked before you
(3).A teacher said to her class,
"Right, i'm going to hold
something under the desk
and i want you to guess it.
This one is round and red."
Akpos hand shot up,
but he was ignored. "It's a
plum miss," said a girl. "no
it's an apple, but i like your
thinking. The next one is
oval shaped and green." The
teacher ignored Akpos
again and a boy said, "It's a
kiwi miss." No, it's a guana,
but i like your thinking." Akpos said, " I got one
miss, its stiff, about an inch
long and with a red nib."
"Akpos, thats disgusting!"
shouted the teacher. " no it's
a match, but i like your
thinking." Said Akpos.
(4).Boss: *Shouting* "Akpos come to my office
right now..." Akpos:
"Yes sir"! Boss : "Akpos, I saw you arguing
with the customer that just
left. I have told you before
that the customer is always
right. Do you understand
me?" Akpos: "Yes sir!,
the customer is always
right". Boss : "So what were
you arguing about with that
customer?" Akpos: "He
said my boss is stupid and
an idiot sir"! Boss: "That
bustard. What did u say to
him?" Akpos: "I told him
he's right
(5).One day, Akpos saw
his grandpa smoking his
cigarettes. Akpos
asked, "Grandpa, can I
smoke some of your
cigarettes?" His grandpa
replied, "Can your penis
reach your asshole?" "No",
said Akpos. His
grandpa replied, "Then
you're not old enough." The
next day, Akpos saw
his grandpa drinking beer.
He asked, "Grandpa, can I
drink some of your beer?"
His grandpa replied, "Can
your penis reach your
asshole?" "No" said Akpos. "Then you're not old
enough." his grandpa replied.
The next day, Akpos
was eating cookies. His
grandpa asked, "Can I have
some of your cookies?" Akpos replied, "Can your
penis reach your asshole?"
His grandpa replied, "It most
certainly can!" Akpos
replied, "Then go fuck
yourself.

Season one complete.season 2 coming soon
waiting for ur comment


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-12 21:25:51

447 Views



ALABA RAGO [Read it]


**last month,I been dey travel from abuja to lagos,for inside d bus one pastor con start to preach..he say "repent!I say repent!!for jesus christ would come like a thief in d middle of night,I say he would come n steal his people away"..na so one aboki when sit down near me reply am "kai fastor,walahi tell ur jesus make he no come alaba rago o,coz if he come alaba rago walahi,we go kill am o...
One word for aboki..??


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-09 16:15:23

647 Views



LEICESTER [Read it]


LEICESTER is like that poor kid that
comes from a humble background, even
without
being able to purchase the expensive
textbooks and past questions, he always
top in the class.
MANCHESTER UNITED is that student
whose father used to be a class teacher
and
bribes for him to pass exams and be at
the top in those days. But after the retirement
of his father he is always number 7
because he can no longer be bribed for.
Instead of
concentrating in today's work he's every
time thinking about how he used to perform in
the past while others are progressing.
ARSENAL is that kid who works hard and
on exam day forgets his mathematical
set,
calculator and pen. He constantly falls sick during exams but very active during
normal
classes and even corrects the teacher. All
the teachers keep saying he was going
to be
the first in class but ends up being the fourth.
CHELSEA is the big bully of the class. He
comes first sometimes but his rich
father is
never satisfied with his performance.
LIVERPOOL always wants to claim he is the best because his father was the best
during his time in the same school.
MAN CITY is the son of the richest man
in town. His parents have hired the best
lesson teacher to lecture him but he still
can't perform to expectation. TOTTENHAM doesn't really want to be
first, all he wants is to be better than
Arsenal.
ASTON VILLA is a kid whose parents gave
up on him. He doesn't buy textbooks
and past questions, he dodges classes and is
happy with
his position.
EVERTON is a student who is always in
class, not a bright one though, and he
disturbs the bright students.
SUNDERLAND is that stubborn kid who
sits at the back to make fun of the rest.
He is
always among the last.
Rep ur club which club are u?
mine is ARSENAL
#BOLLY_SMART™®


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-29 16:00:16

430 Views




The Christmas spirit is not what you drink.Related

Words of Wisdom [Read it]


Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater.If you give her a sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.So, if you give her any aggravation, be ready to receive a ton of stuff in return.Related

Lock jaw wouldn’t be bad but the right people never get it.Related

Oke is loking at Aderonke with admiration, he is thinking maybe he should express his feelings to her because tomorow may be too late.
Oke: (thinking: but she will think I want to take advantage of her of her present situation, let wait until proper time to express my feelings to her. Ho! I can't wait for her to be my woman)
Aderonke: the rain has stoped. Thank you very much for your hospitality, I will be taking my leave no.(she stand up and ready to leave)
Oke: wait! let me drop at your house.(he goes inside one small store at the corner of the house and come out with some food stuffs wraped in a sack)
Aderonke: what are those one for (pointing to the sack)
Oke: don't worry.
They both climbed the bike, and headed to Aderonke's house. When they reach there, they both enter the house while Oke still hold the sack in his hand. Aderoke's bed is at one side of the it is a wooden bed on which mat is spread, there only one chair in the room, but the room is clean. She offers her visitor a seat.

>> Episode 6 -

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee
breaks? If olive oil comes from olives, where
does baby oil come from? If people from Poland are called Poles,
why aren't people from Holland called
Holes? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as
adults enjoy adultery? Why is the man who invests all your
money called a broker? If horrific means to make horrible, does
terrific mean to make terrible? Why is it called building when it is
already built? If a book about failures sells, is it a
success? If you are not supposed to drink and
drive, then why do bars have parking
lots? Why is it that if someone tells you that
there are 1 billion stars in the universe
you will believe them but if they tell you
a wall has wet paint you will have to
touch it to be sure?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-08-25 20:52:10

332 Views




Episodes:

An average human walks 1500 Kms in a year and drinks 83 litres of beer.

Bascially, we’re getting 18 Km/litre of beer – which is not bad average!Related

I don’t want to sound presumptuous, but I’ve made it my goal to revolutionize pop music. The last revolution was launched by Madonna 25 years ago.

-Lady GagaRelated

A friend`s eye is a good mirror.

~ Irish ProverbRelated

A woman made an appointment with her gynaecologist.

“What seems to be the problem?” asked the doctor.

“Something is terribly wrong, I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina.”

The doctor had a look, chuckled and said, “Those aren’t postage stamps my dear, they’re the sticker’s off bananas”!Related

A Lecturer [Read it]


A Lecturer in school of engineering boarded a plane.
When the plane was ready to take off, the pilot
said...."Welcome on board ladies and gentlemen,
may I please inform you that this plane was
manufactured by your students in the university and polytechnic
this is the first time flying".
Immediately they heard that everyone ran out except
one Professor Akpors, who sat comfortably.
People were surprised and went to his seat to ask
him why he did not run out of the plane like others?
He smiled and replied..." There is no need to run out
because
if it is true that this plane was made by our students,
then with what we have taught them, am very sure
the plane will not even move.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-13 00:08:04

520 Views



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