Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


A white man 80 years of age married a young white lady. A year later he carried her to the hospital, and she had a baby. 


The nurse said to the man "at your age, how do you do that?"


The man answered "you just have to keep the motor running."
  
Another year passes, and the man carries her back to the hospital, another baby. The same nurse said to the man and asked "you are something else, how do you do that?"
  
He said "I told you that you just have to keep the motor running." Another year and back to the hospital for another baby. The same nurse said "you are unbelieveable, how do you do that?!"
  
He said "you got to keep the motor running."
   
She answered "Well, you better change oil, because this one came out black."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-25 16:22:58

686 Views




Santa was sucking, licking, caressing and kissing his own fingers, palm and hand.

Banta: Why this madness?

Santa: Oye, this is foreplay before masturbation!Related

Akpos saw his friend Okon with a new phone.
Akpos: O boy! where did you get that phone?
Okon: I caught a girl stealing from our farm. She dropped her phone, remove all her cloths and said "Take what you want"
Akpos: That's so sharp of you because her cloths wont fit you.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-29 09:34:38

1560 Views




Umpire: No Ball



Nehra: But my foot was inside the line



Umpire: Par daant to bahar tha na Faawde…Related

Your childhood ends the day you realise that sleep is a reward and not a punishment!Related

JOY=>WRITE UP BY DINDY
Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission,thank you for reading this write up...
An unexplainable feeling that over whelms one's heart in an exciting way of happiness.
An expressing of love can pop out joy,a joyful world and life can be brought to existence by gifts,emotions,surprises,celebrations,hopes,belief,trust,truth and love.....etc.
The joy of a mother/father seeing her kid after a long time, can't be as that of a mother/father who sees her/his kid everyday.
The joy of a child who just got an admission into school after so many years of trials,failure and rejection from schools, can't be the same of that of a child who got direct entry after his/her secondary school.
The joy of a child who just got a toy he/she has been longing for, can never be the same as a kid who gets any toy he/she wants in a second.
The joy of a kid who came from a poor background and gets a scholarship,it will and never be the same as a kid who came from an extremely rich background and get a scholarship.
Joy varies depending on the occasion,places,situation,position,time and person.
Some people hates the word "JOY",it might not be direct but if one love having the feeling of hate and sadness the person is a hater of joy.
But come to think of it,if they love having that feeling of hate and sadness that means it gives them joy,so to be sincere no one can hate "JOY".
Some people tend to dislike happiness(joy) due to what happened to them or probably they were raised up that way. Some don't even feel joy in anything they do. not everyone is a fan of joy but everyone is a link to joy whether directly or indirectly(when I said "a link" I mean a connection).
But do you know that joy is joy no matter the situation?.
Let me explain,for example;your sadness is your emery's joy,your downfall is your enemy's joy,but does it sound right?,its wrong right?,but do you know you are an enemy to your enemy.
If you don't understand it let me break it down;your enemy sees you as the enemy and you see your enemy that way", that simply means we all are enemies of each other(hahahahahahaha).
Now back to the matter; I know some of you might say its impossible but life is all about possibility so always expect the unbelievable and unexpectable.
I love having joy feeling everyday, To have joy is like being settled (it depends on the type of joy you have).
Every joy is a great feelings,having it is like drinking a cold soft juicy drink in a hot sunny weather,it calms your system.
But what really is the joy of life? or like I will say "what is the greatest joy of life?". Is it motherhood or fatherhood?, well to me its both.
I know some of you will say that its a lie but its pure fact,imagine if you had a great plan and finally that plan happened and you got everything you wanted,you will feel over excited right?,well that feeling kinda feels like motherhood/fatherhood a little bit.
Now imagine the last time you saw a newly born baby and how you felt,now imagine how the mother/father of that baby you saw feels like,overwhelming joy right?.
Why do you think God loves his son so much?(Because he is a part of him that make him complete),and why do you think the devil will have a kid some day?(Because he needs someone by his side to stand the gap for him).
Everyone needs someone from their own blood or link to carry on their legacy, that's why motherhood and fatherhood is the greatest joy one can have in life.
THINGS ABNORMAL PEOPLE SEE AS A JOYFUL THING
-getting drunk.
-killing people.
-destroying things.
-causing chaos.
-causing pain.
-seeing people bleed.
-seeing people killed themselves.
-smoking to the peak.
-eating like no tomorrow.
-sleeping like non stop.
-having the whole world in their palm.
-making people cry.
-making people suffer.
-punishing a baby for no reason.
-deceiving people into doing things.
-starving people of what is theirs.
-making people to knee before you for help.
-making people their slaves.
-etc...........
To you it might be non sense but to them it is a thing of joy.
Sometimes they do those things out of bitterness or depression hidden deep inside them or it could be what they adapted to,in some cases they do feel they are doing a bad thing but they can't just control it because when they let the bitter or subconscious part of them to take over them it always ends up that way.
things you need to know about Joy
-Joy is an establishment of happiness.
-Always learn to do what you love.
-Never ignore the exciting feeling of joy.
COLOURS ARE ALSO BUBBLES OR YOU CAN ALSO SAY EXPRESSION OF JOY
-RED-the colour of love (the sight of the one you love brings joy).
-GREEN-the colour of nature(the sight and feel of nature at its beautiful stage brings joy).
-YELLOW-the colour of the sun(the feel of the lovely cool sunlight brings joy).
-BLUE-the colour of the sky above(the sight of the amazing craft of the sky above brings joy).
-BLACK-the colour of the universe(some will say black is an attitude,but to me its an attitude of joy, and the sight of the universe pushes out a great excitement of joy).
-GREY-the colour of the moon(the most beautiful floating star you can see every night/early morning which brings joy at the sight of it).
-WHITE-the colour of the clouds and starts(shapes of beauty that brings joy).
Every colour is an expression of joy,every joy is an expression of beautiful things.
I DINDY HAVE A LITTLE WORD FOR YOU"FIND YOUR COLOUR AND FIND YOUR JOY".#ALWAYS STAY JOYED BECAUSE IF YOU ARE, YOU WILL NEVER AGE ON TIME.
MY NAME IS NNAMDI AKA DINDY AND I WROTE THIS WRITE UP.LEARN FROM WHAT YOU READ NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND.THANKS FOR READING...................WRITE UP BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI.........whatsapp/viber number:07087750433.... [email protected]:OSSYNNAMDI @ gmail.com or OSSYNNAMDI @outlook.com facebook namessy andy nnamdi.......Skype: 07087750433 or [email protected]@nnamdiossy......Instagram#ossynnamdi







NAIRAJOKES.COM




Rate this story
Add Your Own Rating



Interesting



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Educative



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Unique



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Organization



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%







JORDAN, Akpos and his wife went to
Israel and decided to pick a boat to
see the beauty of river Jordan.
When Akpos asked the boatman
how much it will cost them, he said
$500. Akpos shouted, "No wonder
Jesus decided to walk on the sea!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-08 15:13:05

162 Views




My eyes were fixed on Grey and his companion, who was a beautiful redhead girl that seemed to be star struck. Every time she touched his arm and laughed at something he said I felt my jealousy rise up inside of me.

I wanted to stalk over to her and rip her hand off his arm. I seethed as I watched unable to do anything about it.

"Here," Reece said and I pulled my gaze away from the object of my affection and the slut that was chatting him up. She was probably a nice girl but the fact that she had eyes on the boy that I had a thing for me made me want to the think the worst of her. It was one thing seeing him pictured with beautiful girls in magazines but watching it unfold in front of me was so much worse.

She handed me a drink and I took a sip. I savoured the alcohol that would numb some of the pain. I didn't want to get drunk but having a couple of drinks would help ease my pain. The whole purpose of the evening had been to go out and have fun not watch Grey flirt with some pretty girl.

There were more girls around the room that had their eyes fixed on him. I took a bigger sip of my drink.

"I had no idea Joey was going to invite your brother and Grey," Reece said beside me.

"Neither did I. I just can't seem to escape him, can I?" I said turning to face my best friend. She gave me a sympathetic smile.

"How am I supposed to get over him if he keeps turning up all the time?" I whispered feeling helpless that no matter what I did I would always be watching him from the sidelines unable to get over him.

Reece pulled me into a hug in the middle of the dancing crowd before releasing me.

"Come on," she said pulling me by the hand to in the direction away from the dance floor and Grey.

"Where are we going?" I said following behind her.

"You came to have fun and I'm determined that you are going to," she said as she led me through the kitchen through the back door and into the garden.

There were groups of people everywhere. Reece stopped and turned to face me.

"Forget about him, it's time to have fun," she said knocking her drink against mine. I smiled. She always knew just how to handle me when I was feeling down.

"No more Grey," I swore and I took another sip of my drink. The alcohol eased the tension in my shoulders and I was starting to feel a little better. It helped that I didn't have to watch Grey hitting on some girl.

Reece and I stood at the edge garden overlooking the vast green lawn where people were grouped, talking and drinking.

A group of guys nearby caught the eye of Reece and she gave them an inviting smile. She was so good at flirting. I could use some lessons from her. Two of the guys from the group broke away and came over to talk to us.

"It's not right that two pretty girls are standing alone at a party," the one said with a confident smile. He was attractive but he wasn't my type. Reece's smile widened, as she looked him up and down.

"Then it's a good thing you've showed up," she shot back confidently. The chemistry between the two was instant and they seemed to only have eyes for each other.

It took me by surprise because he didn't look like Reece's usual type. Firstly he didn't have any tattoos. His friend gave me a smile and I smiled back nervously holding onto my drink. I wasn't good with the whole uncomfortable, not sure what to say first encounter with boys.

"Hi," he said. He was attractive with midnight black hair that reached his ears and his eyes were a deep green color.

"Hi," I replied.

We did introductions and I found out that the one Reece seemed to be interested in was Max and his friend was Aidan.

We found a spot on the grass and sat down. Reece sat beside Max and I sat down beside Aidan. Even with some alcohol in my system I felt nervous and unsure of what to say.

"I think my friend likes yours," Aidan whispered to me and nodded his head in the direction of Reece and Max.

"I think you're right."

"o you go to college?" he asked trying to start up a conversation.

I shook my head as I looked down to my drink.

"No, I wanted to take some time off before college to decide what I wanted to do," I explained.

"And your parents let you?" he asked sounding surprised.

I got that a lot. Most parents wouldn't have allowed their children to take time off after high school to figure out what they wanted to do next. Most of the people I knew that couldn't decide were forced by their parents to choose something.

"Yes," I said.

"I want your parents," he joked and took a swig of his beer and I shrugged my shoulders.

"o you go to college?" I asked trying to keep the conversation from stalling.

"Yeah," he replied.

The conversation flowed before long I realised I was actually having a nice time. For the first time that evening my thoughts weren't solely concentrated on Grey.

After a while of talking I looked to discover Reece and Max were gone and I was alone with Aiden.

"So do you have a boyfriend?" he asked out of the blue and my eyes shot to his.

"No," I said as he held my gaze and he smiled at my answer.

"Why not?" he asked and I felt myself blush at his direct attention.

How did I tell him that I was hung up on a guy that was out of my league?

"I don't know," I replied with a dismissive shrug.

"o you want to dance?" he asked as he took the last swig of his beer.

"Sure," I said. He stood up and reached for my hand to pull me to my feet.

I liked him. He was nice to look at and he seemed to be a nice person but then so had Evan. I was still wary as I followed him into the house and into the living room where the party was still going strong. I refused to let my eyes wander to the corner of the room where Grey had been earlier. I forced my self to look at Aidan and smile as we began to dance together in amongst the sea of moving bodies.

He smiled at me and I returned it as he stepped forward and set his hands on my hips pulling me closer to him. I looked up to him trying to hide my nervousness.

"Can I cut in?" I heard someone ask and it took me a few moments to realize it was an angry looking Grey. He reached for my wrist and pulled me to him. Aidan released me.

"What are you doing?" I said, trying to pull my wrist out of his grip.

"I want to talk to you," he said through gritted teeth. He was so angry I could see it simmering just below the surface.

"Is he causing trouble?" Aidan asked me with concern.

Not wanting to make a scene I turned to face Aidan.

"It's fine. I just need to talk to him," I assured in a calm voice even though I could feel my anger building up.

Grey led me through the dance floor to the stairs and up the stairs. I pulled my wrist from his grip as we got to the top of the stairs and followed him into the closest bedroom that was empty.

I entered and turned to face him as he closed the door and leaned against it, his dark blue eyes fixed on me.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked struggling to keep my temper under control. I'd just been enjoying my evening for the first time and he'd ruined it.

His expression was unreadable and his eyes held mine as he pushed off the door and walked to me. I waited for him to answer me but instead he came to a stop in front of me. His eyes searched my face as his hands lifted and cradled my face.

It was hard to think with him so near.

"You," he whispered.

My breath hitched as he leaned closer and softly touched my lips with his.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




Rate this story
Add Your Own Rating



Interesting



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Educative



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Unique



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Organization



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%







“my love, i want our baby to be a girl, so that she will be as beautiful as you are” the engineer said to me. ” hahah noo i want a he so that he will be as Handsome as you are.” i replied. We both laughed as we hugged. ” you are a blessing to me Hagan, and i will never leave you” he whispered. ” same here my Justice Johnson, i will never let you go” i said to him. He held my cheeks and began to kiss me. Not until i woke up, only to realise that it was a stolen moment. I was only dreaming and i thought it was real. I wept as i laid on my bed. Jackline came in and realised i was awake. She was staying with me for the time being because my mum went to Canada and i didnt want to stay alone. “what is wrong my dear? Why are you crying?” she sat on the edge of the bed and held my waist. I couldn’t talk but to weep. “talk to me my love,” she pressured me. ” i am pregnant jackline, i am pregnant!” i sat up to shout the words out. ” oh my GOD, this calls for a celebration!” she yelled out of excitement, jumping here and there. ” you still don’t get me do you? I don’t love Alex, my heart beats for the engineer, cant you see?” i broke down in tears. Jackline and i spoke about everything and i explained everything to her. She understood me but she was also sad. ” he is with your beloved abigail now and you cant hurt abigail, so what do we do now?” she also got worried, ” i don’t know, i don’t know” i wept more.
Justice and i played the game very well. We didnt show any sign of knowing each other and abigail never realised it. We went to church together atimes and we go out together also. Alex atimes join us to have fun but he always ends up making a mess. This continued for so long till abigail paid a visit someday. I felt abit dizzy to the extent that i couldn’t stand but to sit. “you are pregnant Hagan, my Goodness you are” she spilled out the words. Tears rolled down my face as i stared into her eyes. ” i have to be alone for a moment please” i beseeched and rose up from the chair. ” i will be in the garden” she said, as i walked into my room. After 30minutes of drowning in tears i came back into the hall only to see Justice. ” Johnson” i called out his name. I was behind him by then but he didnt turn. But i heard him, i heard him so clearly. ” he was my friend Hagan. We were all into the game together. A game he lead me into, and he was our god and only boss. I was a player because i didnt have money to survive life, i was a player because no one wanted to employ me since i didnt have my degree. I had to survive since the woman who took me in didnt have enough to feed me. I don’t even know who my parents are, i never knew them till i grew up. And for that reason, i took her as my mother and my father even though she is not my biological. We go for rich girls and share their wealth when we acquire them. But i couldn’t do that to you. I wanted to work myself to pay them off, but on that faithful night, you eventually did. Alex came back from the states as a friend and not an enemy, he told me… He told me” he stammered. ” he told me he is no longer in the game and i believed him, only to find he wanted to destroy you himself since i didnt want to and now he has succeeded by getting my Hagan pregnant.” he ended his statement and turned to me. I couldn’t utter a word due to what i saw. He was smiling with rivers of tears on his face. My GOD, i saw the smile of pain. “my heart is broken and i weep now because i no longer love you Hagan and it hurts so much that i have stopped loving you” i broke down into tears when those words came out of his mouth. ” oh my GOD.. My GOD” my voice faded as i went on my knees in tears. I crawled to him ayd held his foot…
Will he forgive me? Is he going to raise me up.


>>

Continues.
Miranda:come on no secrets bae tell me
Me: uhmm okat. Brenden kissed me
Miranda: what??(panicking) so fast
Me: I know it all happened suddenly. Please don’t say anything
Miranda: I won’t but make sure you don’t break Preston’s heart o
Me: mtcheeeew break heart keh
The door opened and it was Presley
Presley:now ladies its time to come inside
Mirandakay we will be inside soon.(presley left) why are you acting so distant from him
Me:look at you. Wasn’t he the reason you got beaten?
Me: yeah I know but we are safe now okay? So please stop the act as if you don’t like him and let’s go in. We went inside. It was 7pm. We took our baths and ate dinner. We watched TV till 9pm. Presley and miranda went inside. I wasn’t sure of where to stay so I came back to the sitting room. It was like they planned it because Preston came to meet me there.
Preston:now that you are friends with brenden I hope I am not left out?
Me:I don’t know
Prestonhe sat near me) why? Because of belinda?
Me:yes. I don’t want to be in any trouble with her
Presley:life is full of barriers but if you know your after what’s right and good for you. Those barriers won’t prevent you. Stop being a weakling and step on it girl! You are stronger than this
“Stop being a weakling and step on it girl” rang in my head. Those words were my dad’s favourite words when he wants me to do something I am scared of doing
Me: (looking at his eyeballs) yes of course I will try my best. Looking at each other brought our faces together. My heart beat increased its pace. Preston adjusted from where he sat so he could meet with My lips. He kissed me passionately and I responded. The kissing lasted for 3 minutes. He heightened himself and made me lie on the sofa slowly with my back. Finally I was on the sofa while preston was on me still kissing me. He was licking my tongue and I was sucking his lips. He opened my buttons one by one. I opened my legs so I can be comfortable on the sofa. He pulled off his shirt and was left with his boxers. He finished opening my shirt I was remained with bra and skirt. I have not done it before but I heard and knee it was painful and I was ready to bear the pain. The kissing went from my lips to my neck down to my chest. And when he kissed my navel I shivered. I felt I was wet in my panties. As he was about pulling my skirt off I held his hand and he raised his head.
Preston: what’s the problem? Did I hurt you?
Me: no you didn’t (sitting upright and buttoned my shirt I mistakenly used my leg to touch his joystick but it wasn’t erect at all) just that I am not yet ready
To be continued


NAIRAJOKES.COM




Rate this story
Add Your Own Rating



Interesting



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Educative



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Unique



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Organization



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%







wife: honey give me ur phone for a minute
husband: wait let me on it. delete msgs delete videos delete all folders delete all chats format memory card installed phone to factory setin. honey take dis it u can do anytin u want with it,
wife: tanx i just want to check d time
HMMMM GUYZ SAY NO TO CHEATIN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-27 10:06:27

785 Views



THE WOTAR THIEF [Read it]


This is a different story from those that starts with a normal once upon a time. Well you could add the once upon a time…..
“WHAT!” I heard my sister Nneoma scream from the backyard.
I was confuse as to what must have caused the scream, I quickly scrambled up from the form which served as our bed we had in our room rented apartment. Dashing towards the door to know what happened I glanced at the wall clock and it was just 15 minutes past 6. What could be the cause of this early uproar I queried myself as I ran through the passage, I hope she hasn’t picked up another fight. Angered raced through my heart as I got there and found out that the reason for the noise was because the usual thief in the compound has manifested his power again and this time it had to be from my water pot.
Looking into the water drum the water level has gone down by more than half and the thought of how I had to walk and extra two kilometers the previous evening to get water as the closet water vendor to our house had travelled and the only other means to get water was to make that extra trip.
Bitterness and Angered I knew as I joined my sister in calling out our other neighbors.
“Make all of una come out o” we chorused
“Who carry our water, make una come out because I no go gree, today na today, we no go gree” We continued to chorus as our neighbors began to troop out one after the other.
“Weytin happen again this early momo, wey man no go rest in peace again” Akpors complained as he arrived
“Come make una allow person sleep na abi weytin be time wey una don start with noise this early morning” Henry also complained as he went on
Cynthia, Yomi, Mama Vero and little Vero who still looked sleeply all came out and we briefed them of our discovery. Mama Vero was the first to testify that her water was also purloined by the unknown person. She wasn’t the only one with a similar experience as everyone also had a story to tell which wasn’t new to us all. Even Emeka that locks his water drum with a padlock always has also had an experience.
“So who could it be” was the question we all asked ourselves but can’t provide an answer. Mama Vero placed a curse on the person but how effective would that be?
“At every crime scene, everyone present is a suspect” and so I looked at everyone but it was hard to point out who it could be as none of them wrote it on their heads.


TBC
As Written by Mc_dahmie


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-03-25 21:00:36

443 Views




“Sky who is this?” That was the very first hello i got from Jessy on drifting back to consciousness.
She nudged her head towards licia’s direction to make me understand who she was talking about without her noticing.

Chioma was seating beside me at the right flank clutching my right hand in both her hands. the sagging eye bags and swollen face clearly showed she had being crying.

“Oh Jessy, she’s just a very good friend of mine i met somewhere” Jessy’s face twitched betraying the suspicion that she still harbored but she masked it with a smile, of course that was meant for chioma she could never mask her emotion from me even with a smile.

Jessy did some medical magics as usual, restoring my full consciousness, my blurry vision, the throbbing headache and severe wooziness all vanished.

“Sky you had a severe case of stress coupled with depression and taking alcohol didn’t help at all. your body couldn’t take it anymore and it gave way, please sky don’t take alcohol again in such situation” it ranged like a warning and a command at the same time. but the little pinch of fear made it clear she was serious.

“Baby please am very sorry, forgive me” Chioma sang out bursting into another round of uncontrollable tears.

From the sign licia gave me from the opposite sofa where she sat, it was clear she had talked to chioma and told her everything while i was out.

“Please sky am so sorry forgive me” She made to kneel down, i held her in my arms and dragged her up in one fluid movement.

Here before me i could see my future, the ground from whence my little seed germinated waiting to say “hello” to a crazy world with a crazy short time.

My gaze moved from Jessy who was almost crying too, to licia who stood with a pouty smile on.

I gave licia a hard wink, and she handed me over the ring she took while taking the car keys from me.
The curtains around the house lay still as if they understood the anxiety that hugged the atmosphere.

Only the buzzing sound of the air conditioner defiled all bid for quietness as it went on singing its own cold buzzing song.

I went down on both my knees again, my gaze fixed on the ring in my hand, it tilted up to Chioma who was mopped on tears still streaming down her face in fast successions.

“Life they say is full of raging tides” I began, “but a wise lady once told me” my face tilted to give Licia an appreciative smile.

“That what makes a successful life is riding with the tides” Chioma’s face grew reddish pale, her hands covered her mouth but they tears persisted.

“I humbly and sincerely ask again, Miss Chioma Ugwu, will you marry me?”
My voice was shaky and a gulp of throaty air made it sound croaky.

Chioma’s face went from weeping to a mixture of crying and laughing.

She looks at Jessy and Licia this time, falls down on her knees too and threw her hands around me with a hard quick reflex.

“Yes sky, yes i will marry you” she blurted out the tears now streaming down harder than before but yet she was laughing hard.
**Na like so them deh take confuse us finish, which one you deh do abeg??**

I slipped the ring into her finger for the second time, this time i have a feeling it will never slip out.

Our lips met in a very explosive kiss, it was a combination of all the kisses we didnt have through out the troubling times. A huge chunk of passion smeared in a rush of intense affection.

Chioma got up and rushed into Licia’s arms, clasping her tight in embrace.

Their are times when people you least expects comes into your life and makes it better, mine was fixed not by papa or Jessy, but a call girl who would imagine that.

“Thank you and am sorry” Chioma whispered to licia but yet it was audible enough for Jessy and i to hear.

“Who is there? Jessy yelled at the door as a knock sipped in.
The whole scenario was changed again as a figure of Amanda walked into the sitting room with Jessy.

She had Ryan in her arms and his back pack in another.
The way she walked in, one would not help to think her steps were intentionally gentle and slow.

She was clad in a pink flowery tight leggings and a white top to go with complimented by a pink high heeled shows.

Her face was dragged to an expression of surprise and contempt immediately she stepped in and Chioma was standing there.

Chioma even clasped her hands around me immediately she entered. She shrugged and rolled her eyes slightly.

The atmosphere went stale all of sudden, it was like everyone held their breathe except Jessy’s whose heavy breathing could be mistaken for a raging waterfall.

“What is it Amanda” I asked, the black mascara line bordering her eyes gave her a sinister look before me.

“Is that a way to address the mother of your child, your son?” She returned looking at me squarely on the face then Chioma, she widened her eyes as she took her gaze down to Chioma’s stomach which still seemed as flat as a concrete wall to me.

“Please i am not in the mood for this, say what you want and get out as you can see am busy”.

The little chuckle she gave out made licia turn in her current seating position as she watched on possibly trying to add the pieces together the much she could.

“Your son have been disturbing to visit you” She intoned giving Ryan a gentle nudge as she stressed the word ‘son’ a little exaggeratedly.

“I can see you have a full house” she was now looking at licia who returned her gaze squarely.
“So i have to leave him here, cus i need to go somewhere now”

She nudged Ryan gently and he gently ran to me clasping his tiny small hands around my legs.

“Be a good boy” She intoned, not so sure if that was meant for me or Ryan, she dropped his back park and then cat walked out in a rehearsed manner.

Jessy carried Ryan off to play with him immediately the door closed behind Amanda.
I slumped back on my chair, my hands on my face and a loud sigh.
“Baby don’t worry, everything will be well” Chioma said throwing her hands around me, but i could see an unsaid worry written all over her face.

..To be continued..


>>

Always strive to excel, but only on weekends.

~ Richard Rorty

Have a nice weekend!Related

EPISODE 19

‘Richard, did you just slap me? Over some
smelling bush girl?’ Cynthia looked more
disappointed than upset.
She threw her items to the couch and
stormed off
into their room.
Richard dropped on the couch and sank
deep into
it. His heart was racing and he felt dizzy.
He leaned
out of the chair and buried his face in his
hands.
Stella crept away.
The sound of rolling plastic wheels on tiled
floor
jerked Richard alert.
Cynthia’s eyes scanned the space.
‘Stella!’
‘Stella!’
‘Ma!’
‘Take this downstairs.’
Stella’s eyes grew wider. ‘Ma?’
‘I said take the box downstairs!’
Stella began to roll the tall box away.
Richard stood up. He felt a sharp icy quiver
and
nearly lost balance.
Cynthia opened her hand bag and started
throwing the items she left on the couch
inside.
Her set of white headphones went in last.
‘Baby.’ Richard made to hold her.
She pushed his hand away and disappeared
through the door.
That night when she called Vanessa from
her room
in her father’s house in GRA Ikeja and told
her
what had happened, what Stella had told
her and
how Richard had slapped her ‘on top of it’,
Vanessa
did not get mad.
She only asked her to calm down that she
would
come by and see her tomorrow.
But the most surprising thing was that
Vanessa
went to see Richard first.

>>

before sex [Read it]


Some guys are not romantic at all..
if u see how they
pull some girls pants before havinq sex,
.
You would think they re startin a generator
.
.
#not_my_handwritinq


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-07-20 10:08:24

1444 Views



wicked old man [Read it]


An old man was sitting outside reading newspaper while an English dog was lying down by the other side of the compound.
A visitor stood at the gate and say "Excuse me sir, does your dog bit?"
The old man looked up and said "Nope".
As the visitor was coming inside the compound, the dog rushed him and bit him.
"I thought u said the dog doesn't bit" says the visitor.
The old man replied, "That's not my dog".



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-12 20:04:10

383 Views




1 English Lady to Haryanvi Lady,

What is your daily routine?

Haryanvi Lady:-

“Mhara kunsa routine Bebbe,

Din “CHULLE” pe

Ar

Raat “LULLE ” pe…!Related

Positive attitude

DOCTOR to 86 Years Old Man:
.
Dekhiye, Iss umar me jawan Ladki se Sex karna Maut ka karan ban sakta hai.

OLD MAN: I don’t care Bhenchod..
??? ???? ?? ?? ???……….!Related

I was in my bedroom early in d morning when i heard a knock on my door knock,knock,knock
Mum:seyi wnt u wake up early nw abi u dnt want me to drop u at school today.I dnt want to hear stories o
me:am already awake i just want to take my bath and other stuffs
mum:dat is gud just be fast
ohhh i forgot to tell u my name
uhhm i am OLUWASEYI OWOSENI son of mr SUNDAY OWOSENI and my mum name is mrs CHRISTANA OWOSENI.
As far as i know i am d only male i mean d only child of OWOSENI'S, my dad is a business man who hardly stays at home while my mum is also a business woman, both of them hardly have my time cos they travel most of their time.
We live at forcados estate, i dnt like to boast o but my dad is a multi millionaire while mum is refferd to as cash madam
me:mummy u are the 1 dat was asking me to be fast but u are not through since
mrs owoseni: am sorry my son am almost through just wait for me in my car ok
me:yes mum
At d gate of olorunsogo secondary school which is my school mum just dropped me before speeding off but not without me collecting sum tin from her.
Chidi:seyi bobo hw far nw
i looked behind and i saw chidi my best friend
me:ah chidi my guy
chidi is my best friend we have been together since js1 even up till now dat we are at js2 we are still best friends,though we are kind of different as in me am d best student in my class while chidi is an average student bt we are known as best student becos we are both always responsible for any trouble caused in school
chidi:seyi i get gist o
me:seriousy yarn me nw
TO BE CONTINUED

|AUTHOR:BOSKID

Stolen car [Read it]


One afternoon, a policeman pulled over a car and the following conversion took place...

POLICEMAN: Driver, I pulled you over to give you a N5,000 reward for obeying the road rules, what are you going to do with it?

DRIVER: Sir, I'm gonna buy a driver's licence.

The side-passenger quickly says, "Sir, don't listen to him, he talks shit when he's drunk!"

And just when the Policeman is about to reply, the passenger in the back-seat says, "I told you guys we won't go far in this stolen car!"

And just as the policeman's face is about to turn red, the guy in the trunk says, "Have we crossed the border yet?"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-09 09:37:34

653 Views




Friend is a ship, it sails over tough waters.Related

The hallmark of an effective legislator is now seen to be an ability to shout and disrupt proceedings.

-Vice President, India – on the conduct of legislatorsRelated

Hot Seat [Read it]


My name is Frank Edoho from "who wants
to be a millionaire",your friend Timilehin is
here on the hot seat and she needs your help
to answer the next question which goes for
N20M."What's the yoruba name for
CHARGER?....... #Your time starts now #B-goF #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-07-01 01:16:51

460 Views




TEACHER: John, where do you live? JOHN: With my parents. TEACHER: (frustrated at the answer John
gave) Where do your parents live? JOHN: Beside our neighbours. TEACHER: (very angry now) And where
do your neighbours live? JOHN: You wont believe if I tell you they
live beside us!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-10 23:25:27

314 Views



45 45 45!!! [Read it]


A mad man was standing on third Mainland bridge shouting; "45! 45!!
45!!! A crowd gradually gathered to watch him. I was in the car with my
uncle. He stopped, came down, and went to ask one of the people
watching, what the mad man was saying. The person replied; I don't know!
My inquisitive uncle went ahead to ask the mad man what "45" meant. As
soon as he got close to the mad man, the mad man picked him up and threw
him into the river and started screaming; 46! 46!! Everybody, including
me, took to their heels.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-03 19:34:48

231 Views




I took my dad to a boutique to buy a new shoe.
He is 65. We decided to eat something at the
restaurant nearby. I noticed he was watching
someone sitting close to him. The teenager had
multicolour hair in all different colours, green, red,
orange and blue, and my dad kept staring at her.
The teenager would look over and find my dad
staring, every time. When she had finally had
enough, she sarcastically asked, "What's the
matter old man, you have never done anything
wild in your life before?" My Dad replied, "I got
drunk years back and made love to a peacock
without condom. I am wondering if you are my
daughter?"
.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-09 18:25:21

497 Views



Low sperm count [Read it]


A man went to a neighbourhood doctor for a medical test, the doctor told him that he has a low sperm count. 


But the man was adamant. He said, "Doctor, I can't have low sperm count! Its not possible! Even your wife can testify to this! Ask her who the father of your children are." 


The doctor fainted!   


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-22 14:34:58

466 Views



FATHER IN LAW [Read it]


JOKES
Father in law: young man u are coming to seek my daughter hand in marriage and u are chewing gum, DAT is sign of disrespect.
GUY: sir I only chew gum wen I smoke or drink sir.
Father in law: u mean u drink and smoke and u are here to seek my daughter hand in marriage?
GUY: sir I only drink and smoke wen I go to club.
Father in law: so u club too?
GUY: am sorry sir, I started clubbing wen I came out of prison.
Father in law; u ave also been in prison b4? Oooooh my GOD!
GUY: sorry sir I went to jail wen I killed somebody.
Father in law: what.... So u are a killer?
GUY: sir it happened out of anger. It was a certain ma dat did not allow me to marry his daughter so I kull him wit a car.
Father in law: oooooh my son, dat won't happen here u are highly welcome , u are on the right track, u are absolutely the right man for my daughter.

The man no wan die oo.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-21 19:22:47

442 Views




Alfred: (he held her at the shoulder and she screamed)young woman;is there anything wrong with you?
Stephanie: me
Alfred: yes;was going on with you?you look scared
Stephanie: oh that is nothing,is just that you scared me. i wasn't expecting you
Desmond: are you sure you are okay?
Stephanie: yes;i have to be on my way(she walked away very fast)
Desmond: Stephie;Stephie;are you sure she is okay?
Alfred: even me;i don't seems to understand her too
Desmond: is like something is disturbing her
Alfred: why don't you just let her be?
Desmond: i will find out(curtain)

Tunde: how was your day,
Alfred: it wasn't a n ice one at that;is like something is disturbing her
Tunde: who are you talking about?
Alfred: is Stephanie(enter Georgina)
Desmond: i know something is bothering her
Georgina: maybe she decided to stay away from you;since you refuse to stay away from her
Desmond: will you stop joking around;i am not in the mood for that
Georgina: you know i am just kidding;what?do you say she have a problem
Alfred: we are not sure of that. we are just assuming. excuse me(exit Alfred)
Desmond: am so worried about her
Georgina: don't worry i will ask Tina;what is wrong with her?you know i can't asked her
Desmond: thank you;i will just go ahead to take my bath(exit Desmond)
Georgina: (to herself)so she is this scare(she laughed slowly)if you done just call me(at Stephanie's apartment)

Monalisa: how are you
Stephanie: am fine;how is everyone and it as been long since i heard from you?
Monalisa: i know i have neglected you for so long but i am really sorry;that i have been so busy
Stephanie: you don't have to apologies;i understand you are trying to make money to provide for the family
Monalisa: okay;i am glad;you understand
Stephanie: i want to tell you that...(Monalisa other ring)
Monalisa: i have to go. i have a busy call,take care bye(she end the call)
Stephanie: is alright(she dropped the phone)(enter Anita)welcome;how was your classes
Anita: it was okay
Stephanie: alright then i will just go to my room
Anita: are you sure;you are alright?
Stephanie: am fine;what differences will it make;if i did have a problem
Anita: if you don't want to talk about it,is okay. just know that whenever you feel like talking to someone,that i am here
Stephanie: thank you very much my friend but don't worry,is nothing i can't handle
Anita: if you say so;take care
Stephanie: thank you;i will go ahead(to herself)i wish i could tell you the problem but i can't (exit Stephanie)(enter Ann)
Anita: welcome
Ann: thank you;where is Stephanie?
Anita: she is at home;why are you asking after her?
Ann: i asked her to wait after her lecture but she just said she couldn't wait after agreeing to wait,immediately she saw Desmond;she said she is going home
Anita: maybe she is avoiding Desmond because of what happen
Ann: i don't think so because i have this feelings that someone is threaten her
Anita: i don't think so too
Ann: i just hope so,i really hope so
(at school)


Desmond: Stephie;what is going on with you(she walked passed him)are you alright?
Stephanie: fine(she start walking very fast)
Desmond: did i offend you?if i do please tell me
Stephanie: you did nothing to me,is just that i have a class
Desmond: for sometimes you have been giving me one excuse after another. the other day i and Alfred saw you and the next thin you could do is to run away and last time we met;you saw me and walk back towards the stair. is it that you are avoiding me?
Stephanie: yes;i am but don't ask me why?
Desmond: why shouldn't i?
Stephanie: that is the problem with you;always feeling their is more to any issues
Desmond: is because i know that there is something even if you pretend to it
Stephanie: is okay;you can feel whatever you feel like thinking. is not my business(she turn and start walking away)
Desmond: is that what you want?(she turn)
Stephanie: yes and one more thing;stay away from me (he held her hand and she remove his hand from hers)let me be if you still have any concern for me. goodbye Desmond
(at home with Tunde/Ayo eating at the dining)
Tunde: this food is tasting so sweet
Ayo: aunt is so good in cooking and hey;what is wrong with that man
Tunde: i don't know but i notice that he has not been eating(he tap Desmond)young man;what is eating you(he touch him again)
Desmond: oh!what were you saying?
Tunde: your mind is not here;it seems you are lost in thought
Desmond: i am not;its just that i am tired
Ayo: you are tired?is that why you also can't eat?
Desmond: and who said i am not eating?
Ayo: its so obvious that something is disturbing you. we are your friends,you can always talk to us,if anything is boring you
Desmond: nothing please excuse me(he walked away)
Tunde: are you sure something is not bothering him
Ayo: i know it is because Stephanie is avoiding him
Tunde: why should that bothered him?when both of them are not in a romantic relationship
Ayo: that is one thing,that keep bothering me also or maybe he is in love with her
Tunde: i don't think so because if he is in love with Stephanie;he will have beg Georgina back
Ayo: you right because i know Desmond;he doesn't know how to pretend
Tunde: i have an ideal
Ayo: which is?
Tunde: i will set up a date with everyone in this house and that of Tina's housemate including Stephanie
Ayo: you know Desmond will not agree to attend if Stephanie is here and likewise Stephanie
Tunde: i know but i am going to tell them;i am not telling both of them
Ayo: how will you do that when Tina is there
Tunde: just leave that to me
(at the school canteen)
Tosan: it seems today all our friends are eating together because of Tunde but is such a shame that everyone is not here
Tunde: do you mean Stephanie and Desmond?
Tosan: yes
Ayo: don't worry they are coming
Tina: is that true?
Tunde: yes;is the truth
Anita: i just hope you guys know what you are doing
Tunde: we do
Tosin: i hope is your treat?
Tunde: yes;its mind
Alfred: lets give our order;for what we want
Ann: lets wait for Stephanie
Stephanie: i am here already
Alfred: okay then;lets proceed because i famished
Tunde: you are always in a hurry;when it comes to food
Alfred: why wouldn't i?
Tunde: Stephanie;i am glad you were able to make it. thank you
Stephanie: don't thank me;as far as it is your treat(all laughed)i will always be here

Tunde: you sure a naught girl
Ayo: enough of that;lets proceed to the next on the the list
Tosan: you are right
Tunde: but we are still waiting for someone(enter Desmond)oh here he comes
Desmond: am so sorry i didn't mean to be late
Tunde: is okay;waiter come take our orders
Waiter: yes;i am coming
Desmond: how are you guys?
Tina: as you can see everyone is fine and how is your betroth(she turn and look at Stephanie)
Desmond: she is fine and you;Stephie how are you
Stephanie: do i look sick
Desmond: we are not quarrelling
Stephanie: and neither do i say so
Ayo: Stephanie;is there any problem

Stephanie: no;non that i know of
Tunde: is alright;i have already place order for everyone
Tina: thank you baby
Desmond: Tunde;what are celebrating?(waiter enter with their order)
Tunde: let just says its been long,we have a treat. back then in secondary school,i always have one party or another to attend
Desmond: is because our parents always like to organised party
Alfred: especially your mom
Desmond: that is true
Ann: enough of this chitchat;everyone eat up
Desmond: can you help me with the glass;Stephie?
Stephanie: i can't;am i the only one in this table?what is it?is it by force to be someone's friend?
Anita: is alright Stephanie;please just stop
Desmond: let her be;Stephanie did i hurt you?please tell me;i will adjust and i am sorry if i did. i didn't mean to,please forgive me
Stephanie: do you know the problem with you?is that you are always getting me walked up(he hold her hand)will you get your hand off me
Desmond: i said i am sorry
Stephanie: since you font want us to behavior like a respectable adult. i will make it the difficult way
Ann: i don't seems to understand you nowadays. you seen lock up in your world and when someone asked you,what is bothering you?you flame up. if you have a problem just speak up before it get out of hand(Stephanie stood up)and where are you going to?

Stephanie: yes;i do have a problem (she screamed and everyone turn)and my problem is Desmond's friendship. friendship is never by force(she turn to the others eating at the canteen)or is it by force?(everyone laughed and screamed no)
Desmond: (he stood up)is that how you want to embarrass me?fine;i will never talk to you again in my life(he walked out)
Ayo: i told you that it won't work
Tunde: i never thought that Stephanie will flame up like that(all boys walked towards the car)lets go home Desmond;i am sorry for the embarrassment
Desmond: does she think she can embarrass me just like that?(he walked into the canteen with all hostility and Alfred run after him)she have something coming(Stephanie saw him and stand up)
Alfred: Desmond slow down
Desmond: what for?why should i?
Alfred: do you want yo hurt her?
Anita: Stephanie;you are in trouble
Stephanie: what is it this time?(to Desmond)
Anita: shut up(she drag her back)
Stephanie: leave me alone(she pull herself from her)what will you do?(Desmond pull her closer and kissed her)what is wrong with you?(she pull herself from him and slapped him and everyone laughed)
Ann: are you okay?(he walked away and Alfred followed him)
Stephanie: that bastard. i am fine,let just go home(curtain)





SEE MORE........



NAIRAJOKES.COM




Rate this story
Add Your Own Rating



Interesting



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Educative



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Unique



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Organization



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%






Think of This. [Read it]


Come to think of this?.......
1. Eternal life = free
2. Church entrance = free
3. Christ's salvation = free
4. God's love = free
5. Breath of life = free

A. Cigarette = pay
B. Prostitution = pay
C. Alcohol =pay
D. Nightclub entrance fee= pay
E. Powers to rule the world = pay

Then why are people paying for hell while PARADISE is free?
Think twice
Believe in Christ and you shall be saved..
We always think of Valentine's day
Birth day
Father's day
Mother's day
Children's day
Our day,
Farmer's day
Teacher's day
Christmas day
Independence day
Boxing day,
This day,
That day,
Day in Day out.
Have u ever thought of Judgement Day, is it going to be a day of celebration or condemnation for u?
If u're safe, what about ur friends & loved ones. Show dem luv by telling dem about d Judgement Day. Plz pass dis to ur 14 loved ones, let heaven be happy for u today. Plz don't say later, do it now bcoz tomorrow may be too late. I'll luv to receiv


NAIRAJOKES.COM




Rate this story
Add Your Own Rating



Interesting



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Educative



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Unique



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%





Organization



0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%
7%
8%
9%
10%
11%
12%
13%
14%
15%
16%
17%
18%
19%
20%
21%
22%
23%
24%
25%
26%
27%
28%
29%
30%
31%
32%
33%
34%
35%
36%
37%
38%
39%
40%
41%
42%
43%
44%
45%
46%
47%
48%
49%
50%
51%
52%
53%
54%
55%
56%
57%
58%
59%
60%
61%
62%
63%
64%
65%
66%
67%
68%
69%
70%
71%
72%
73%
74%
75%
76%
77%
78%
79%
80%
81%
82%
83%
84%
85%
86%
87%
88%
89%
90%
91%
92%
93%
94%
95%
96%
97%
98%
99%
100%







When sex is good theres nothing better, when its bad its not bad.

-Bill MaherRelated

It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.

~ Walt DisneyRelated

Black and White [Read it]


Attending a wedding for the firs time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

*Guess what her mothers reply will be?*


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-09 13:49:44

276 Views




Practice makes the man perfect, what about woman?Related

1) TEACHER: Akpos, what do you call a person who
keeps on talking when people are no longer
interested?
AKPOS: A teacher!
2) TEACHER: How do we keep our school clean?
AKPOS: By staying at home!
3) TEACHER: Draw a diagram of bacteria.
[Few minutes later]
Akpos: Here it is sir.
TEACHER: Where? You haven’t drawn anything
Akpos: Sir, can you see bacteria without
microscope?
4) TEACHER: Akpos, your essay on “My Dog” is
exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy
his essay?
AKPOS: No Sir, it’s the same dog.
5) Akpos was writing something very slowly. A
friend asked “why are you writing so slowly?”
Akpos: I’m writing to my six year old son, he can’t
read very fast.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-03 19:53:58

459 Views




NIGHTMARE EPISODE 4 (STORY BY DINDY)
Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story...
:
:
:
The two creatures took me by both hands and threw me into the door way, I landed with my back (mehn at that point I felt worst than bad and life meant nothing to me), I couldn't move my whole body; it was no more responding but my ears and heart were managing to keep up, I know they won't survive because they don't have much time (Death was creeping in the dark corners, waiting and longing for my soul).
My face faced the left hand side of my body and I saw graves everywhere billions and billions of graves all with people inside crying for help (well I knew there were people inside because I could hear people banging and screaming for help).
Some said "get me out of here", some were begging, some were crying very loud (Well I guess I was wrong when I hoped that the door way won't be bad).
The whole place smelled death, the ground was filled with decayed bodies and maggots were everywhere.
There was this disturbing smell I perceived, when I rolled my eyeballs upward towards the right side of my face I saw a dead body hanging on a tree with its stomach and intestines almost falling off.
The body seemed to have decayed for 3weeks with an open stomach which exposed internal organs. (mehn I wish I was not in that position.) The opened, smelling and decayed stomach started dropping down little by little; like a melting ice from a cliff (mehn I was in so much pain but mehn that smell made me forget about everything and my concentration was on it).
The entire stomach dropped on my cheek (thank God my face was not facing upward). --Da*n!-- The maggots on it started dancing on my cheek, the watery substance flowed down into my mouth--da*n where is death, I need it to take me away from all this non sense-- I cried in my mind.
It tasted like something far more worst than a vomit, excrete and a decayed food all together. I couldn't spit it out because my tongue was a dry valley and I didn't have the strength to do so.
I felt like vomiting but there was no strength to vomit (well I have been vomiting blood since from other parts of my body).
The hanging intestines which was on the tree inside the body fell on my mouth and on my nose (mehn what remain was death), the maggots in the intestines were as many as the hair on my head.
They started moving toward my mouth, I tried to blow off them but I was too weak, they found their way into my mouth (da*n!, it felt, smelled and tasted extremely worst than bad).
Suddenly they came and the environment changed (I think my time to die has come and I pray it should come quicker than the speed of light)......to be continue.
STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected] Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi




>>

BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. … Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!#GoodDay #woch out for the part 2[reply from the wife] #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-25 22:08:07

830 Views




Wife: Ek baat bolun???


Husband: Haan yaar, bolo…


Wife: Maaroge to nahi?


Husband: Kya bol rahi ho, kyun marunga bhala tumhe?


Wife: Daantoge bhin nahin….?


Husband: Bilkul nahin daantunga…, baat toh batao.


Wife: Main pregnant hun.


Husband: Hurray !!! Pagli kahin ki, it’s a good news, darr kyun rahi thi???


Wife: College ke dino mein ek baar papa ko bataya tha to badi maar padi thi…Related

Imagination and fiction make up more than three-quarters of our real life.

~ Simone WeilRelated
Next Page >>
<< Previous Page