Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


MY FIRST PREGNANCY EPISODE 3

He then went back to drive out of his house,which he did speedily.then he went back to close the gate,then he drove off,all through the driving Mrs faith was howling in serious pain, because of the contraction which stroke her lower back heavily, and it slowly began to seize up, It also twisted her muscles harder and harder, until it became unbearable for her,it was much more painful than you can ever imagine it would be,.... .mr Sammy couldn't fully focus on driving, he kept looking at his wife who was at the back seat.finally he got to their family hospital.he quickly came down from his car, and ran inside the hospital to call for help.he got to the reception....(mr Sammy) "please nurse help me, help me, my wife,my wife".he said with fear in his tone...(the nurse) sir please calm down please,where is she?,she asked him trying to calm him down......(Mr Sammy) she is in my car please come quickly,he relied her as he ran back to where his car was packed. the nurse trailed behind him with a wheelchair,he reach for the back door of his car then he bent down to get her out,Mrs faith was almost crying in pain,the nurse was now close enough to help him,another nurse came to help and they both managed to put her in the wheelchair.the pain wasn't getting better for Mrs faith because it was as if she was going to die at that moment.she tried all her best to maintain herself but she could help it,both the nurses and mr Sammy pushed the wheelchair,Mr Sammy used his left hand to we Mrs faith on her left hand...finally they all got to the labour room.(Mr Sammy)don't worry dear everything will be just ok dear,he said trying to encourage her,but she didn't reply because the pain was hammering her inside her brain, the two nurses placed her on the bed and they told mr Sammy to wait out side because...........TO BE CONTINUED......STORY BY DINDY.....WHATSAPP NUMBER:07087750433....FACEBOOK NAME:OSSY NNAMDI
PLEASE DO NOT SHARE WITHOUT TELLING ME



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I MISS YOU MUM EPISODE 6 (STORY BY DINDY)

Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story...

My dad came back 5 mins later, with our church prayer warriors --We had 5 powerful prayer warriors in our church, but only 2 came--. When I saw them, I greeted them, but I was confused because I was thinking that it was just one person that was coming.
My dad, can't be directing the prayer warriors to this hospital because they came here to pray for my mum, two days ago. Bro Mathew and kelvin (the prayer warriors), asked mum how she was.
She replied them both "I am getting better".
As my dad and the prayer warriors were talking, someone entered. I couldn't see the person's face because my aunty and the prayer warriors were blocking my view of the entrance door.
They all gave chance for the person to see my mum, It was the nurse that brought drugs for my mum before.
I said to myself "I wonder what she wants again, I pray it should be that she was sent by the nurse downstairs to inject my little bro with sleeping drugs because he is kinda disturbing me".
When my little bro saw her, he sat down one place (fear-fear boy), the nurse did a quick check on my mum, then she changed the drip my mum was on because it was in its last era. When the nurse was done, she turned to my dad and said "She needs to sleep".
My dad said "Ok, I'll be leaving for a church program very soon", then the nurse left.
After 5 minutes that the nurse left, my dad's phone rang, it was that same person that has been trying to locate the hospital since morning.
My dad picked it, but this time he answered the call in front of us, then the next thing he said was "Are you out side now, ok I am coming".
He moved out with his phone still on his left ear. After he left, I started having this uncomfortable feeling, my bladder was fully loaded with urine, I needed to goto the toilet or else I would wet both the bed and myself.
I told my mum, then she directed me to the toilet where I could urinate. After listing to my mum's direction, I quickly moved out side to find my way to the toilet.
I looked to the left side as my mum told me and I followed, my mum told me to pass three doors, then I would see the toilet by my right. I walked straight down very fast, passing the first, second and third door.
I heard sounds until I got to the end of the road --Maybe some people were giving birth or maybe they were in pain that was caused by an accident--, then I looked to my right and finally I saw the toilet, I opened the toilet door fast-fast and quickly freed myself off the load I was carrying.
After every-every, I washed my hands and wiped it with a small white soft cloth I saw there --I am no white man, but when i see new things, i must try it out. Sometimes we got to behave like white men--.
The cloth was very soft, they wrote on the wall where the soft cloths were hanged "Please put in trash after use". I didn't throw it away --Why would a 9ja guy like me, see a white soft cloth and throw it away, when I didn't use it to wipe my a*s--.
I put the cloth in my back pocket, then I moved out. I was out side the toilet with my left hand still at my back pocket and still trying to force the soft cloth into my back pocket --My back pocket was very small-- .
When i looked straight, I saw a woman fighting for life, I stoped and watched what was happening. The nurses that were there, were trying to hold the woman down, but she was struggling so hard for air.
Finally another nurse came with a big cylinder, which looked like my house gas cylinder, then she did some connections and placed something on the woman's nose. The woman immediately relaxed, I was shocked and scared because I had never seen anything like that in my whole life. I quickly walked back to my mum's room.
When I got back to my mum's room, my dad was already there with one of our church elders, who was the one that had been calling my dad since. We did a little prayer, then my dad left with the prayer warriors and the elder for a church program.
The time was 2pm, so my aunty told my mum that we would go home to cook and incase if she wants to eat, that there is fired rice in the second nylon. my mum just replied with a dizzy eyes "Ok no problem".
My aunty said "I'll come back in the evening with food, for you to eat at night".
My mum was about to say something when I said "Mummy I'm not going, i'll stay here with you".
My mum said "Neil, you have to go, you have to prepare for church tomorrow and school on monday, go home and do every necessary thing you need to do".
After she said that I didn't know what to say again, I then remembered that my maths and English teacher gave us an assignment in school and if i fail to do it, they will deal with me mercilessly with no pity --I was more afraid of my math teacher because he flogged dangerously, no Cain duster could dust his Cain. The day my ass met with his Cain oh God, it was as if my ass was on top of a gas cooker--.
I just had to accept, we all told her good bye. As I made a step out side the door, I don't know what came over me, I turned back and ran to hug my mum.
As I hugged her, I said "Mum I'm already missing you".
She replied "I know my superstar, don't worry I will soon be with you at home".
She gave me a kiss on my forehead, which really got to my heart and made me cry.........to be continue....."When life becomes sweet".
STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected] Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi.








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Adanna** part 3 [Read it]


Me: how did you know i will comeout?
Adanna: because chinansa told me you
always comeout to ease yourself in the
midnight, can we go inside and
continue please. I was a little bit scared but who will say no to a beautiful angel like
this (afterall
man go still die so e better make i die
ontop enjoyment according to faze life
is too short oh so make we enjoy our
money) , she followed me inside after i finish blessing the soil with my urine.
She wore short skirt and long sleve shirt,
we enter inside my room, she just lie on
my bed pressing her phone while i make
myself comfortable in my chair staring
at her Buttocks. Me: since when did you stand there?
Adanna: 1 hour 45 minutes and 3
seconds. Me: and what if i nor come
comeout
nko.
Adanna: i know you will come out. Me: hmmm, u sound like you know me
very well.
Adanna: yeah but not much.
Me: ok, i dont have much here but i do
have water, kerosene, salt and oil, which
one do i offer. Adanna: kerosene, if you get the mind,
Me: lol,
Adanna: is that laptop working?
Me: yes of course.
I open the laptop and position it ontop my
bed while i relax close to her, she scan through my videos and settle for
one movie like that titled “the 100?
hmmm she look so beautiful, i wanted
to make a move because she cant just
come to my house and go scot free, she
stay close to the wall while i relax at the edge of the bed. Me: you have a beautiful
lips.
Adanna: thank you.
Me: so what flavor is it.
Adanna: flavor as in how?
Me: i mean what’s the taste? Adanna: i dont know maybe you should
check. See opportunity oh, i use my left
hand
to draw her head closer while i gave a
sound kiss.
Adanna: so what does it taste like? Me: taste like, wait let me kiss you again
to be sure.
I gave her another kiss but this time i didnt
stop, i continue kissing her, i turn
her to face the ceiling while i come
ontop her, i use my left hand to press her left boob, (very soft) i kiss the
Bosom, i put hand inside her shirt and
massage her Bosom, i draw her shirt up
to her chest, i adjust her bra a little and
kiss her Bosom, she just say”hmmmm
OZ stop” stop for where wey i just dey start, also i use my left hand to rub
her
tummy, i moved my hand down to her
navel, slowly i move down to her V area,
i put my hand inside her skirt and press
her pussi from her pant, kissing her right boob, then she hold my hand.
Adanna: stop it.
Me: why, whats wrong?
Adanna: not now maybe later.
Me: why later na, i don dey in the mood
already na. Adanna: i dont like doing it by this time. So i got up as a gentleman and
sat
on
my chair, she adjust herself.
Adanna: are you angry?
. Of course am angry wey you don let my
oga gain attention finish you dey ask me
wether i dey vex.
Me: no am not, why should i? I was a little
bit angry since she nor
want me to enter thy kingdome come, she close the laptop and position herself
to sleep,
Adanna: off the light please me: no i want
to use it to read (i nor know say i go read
since abi)
Adanna: i cant sleep with light on. Me: am sorry just use the pillow to cover
your face because i have test tomorow
so i have to read.
Adanna: there will no test. Me: and how
would you know that? Adanna: nothing
dont worry, read well. She use the pillow to cover her face, i
took my idodo umeh biology book to
read, then my light off, i on my
touchlight, i look outside, light still dey, e
be like say na my bulb burn, so i
climb my chair and check the bulb, no smell,
na wetin happen na, so i have another
spare bulb (that white bulb wey roll like
snake e dey shine well well) i put the
bulb na so everywhere shine, i smill and
thank God because i need to read oh. I took my book, scrolling through the
content, then i saw the topic i was
looking for (genetics) i just wan open
the page na im my light off again, na
which kind thing be this na?


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1. The sleepers: These set of people sleep practically all the journey. Some even go to the extent of snoring.
2. The talkatives: The talkatives raise discussions on different issues. They can talk for hours uninterrupted.
3.
The music freaks. These ones plug in their ear-piece as soon as the
journey begins. They listen to music non-stop until they alight from the
vehicle.
4. The gluttons: The gluttons buy food and drinks at the
slightest opportunity. Some can even eat all through the journey. They
buy fruits, walnuts, drinks, chips, gala e.t.c
5. The cautioners:
These set of people always caution the driver whenever he is
over-speeding. They keep saying “life has no duplicate”
6. The
fat(mostly ladies): They occupy virtually all the space on the seat.
They are so annoying. They can even squeeze life out of you. You can
only curse them silently!
7. The thieves: The thieves steal from
unsuspecting passengers. They steal money and phones. These set of
people are the most dangerous on the bus
8. The preachers/Prayer warriors: They lead prayers immediately the journey begins. They also preach and share tracts.
9.
The Gentle: The gentle sits all by himself through out the journey. He
simply decides to ignore everyone in the vehicle. He might not utter a
word all through.
i don try...Abeg add yours!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-21 06:28:40

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my cat is in love please help before he kills his self









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2015-03-04 16:10:13

369 Views




EPISODE 34

After she left the room, she came back a couple of minutes later with Marcus.

Marcus: Hey what’d f*ck did you say I did to you?!
**Speechless**
Marcus: Huh?!
**Speechless**
Marcus: He’s f*ckin lying mehn! Why can’t he speak out?
Dorothy: You threatened his life!
Marcus: This dude is lying! I didn’t do nothing!!
Dorothy: Victor say to me again what he did to you

**I didn’t feel comfortable for lying earlier because I detest lying**
Me: D’thy I’ve told you everything and he knows what he did so there is no need repeating myself
Marcus: Dorothy can’t you see what he’s doing? He is doing this on purpose! To cause a rift between us.
Dorothy: What are you talking about?
Me: Ask him if he came here or not
Marcus: This is bullsh!t
Dorothy: Did you?
Marcus: I did came here but i did nothing to him
Dorothy: We had a clear agreement Marcus; remain on your path and keep the agreement intact so there won’t be a mishap between us
Marcus: Dorothy you should be smarter than this; this guy is going to use your brain. Don’t listen to what he’s telling you; you can’t trust whatever he tells you now after all he's done to you. Remember he dumped yo' a$$ without looking back
Dorothy: That’s enough
Marcus: How is it enough? I hate it when I’m being accused wrongly!
Dorothy: Excuse us Marcus
Marcus: That’s it?
Dorothy: I need to have a word with him so excuse us

** He left us**

Dorothy: Are you lying to me?
Me: What’s the use of explaining myself to you when my life is at stake on either way
Dorothy: **Moves closer to me and started caressing my head** Victor are you scared of me?
Me: Yes; for you’re no longer the Dorothy that I use to know. Now you’re the bad girl that claims to love me; boosting that anyone that touch me, touches you and all that empty words of threat you stated earlier. What did you do to him? Nothing! You can’t even keep your word.
Dorothy: I meant what I said darling
Me: Well…?
Dorothy: I know you weren’t telling the truth
Me: Really now?
Dorothy: You want to play a smart one on me… nice try
Me: Like I said earlier, there’s no need explaining myself. He’s your partner in crime and you both work together. So… I’m not surprised at all
Dorothy: Yea, do not be surprised that I’m not that stupid girl you use to know
Me: Your problem. So how many members do you have in your confra?
Dorothy: 28 excluding our new converts
Me: No girls?
Dorothy: Sure there are
Me: Why am I not seeing them around?
Dorothy: They have no business in here
Me: But they’re outside?
Dorothy: Yea
Me: With all your 28 members
Dorothy: Nope
Me: For how long do you think you’ll keep me here?
Dorothy: For as long as it takes
Me: I see… you know; there’s one peculiar thing that haven’t changed about you
Dorothy: By that you mean my stupidity?
Me: Yea… how’d you know?
Dorothy: That’s the only thing you think you know about me and you’ve been seeing me as a stupid person for over 10 years now. So… I should know
Me: I’m just sorry for your mother; she’s a good woman. Too bad she gave birth to a goat instead of her likeness
Dorothy: What’s your game plan now? You think I’m going to fall for it?
Me: I’m so surprised that you’ve been keeping your cool all this while not throwing yourself at me. Why is that? Or maybe Marcus has already satisfied you
Dorothy: Me? **Laughs** I wonder how Mirabel would be feeling now after all she’s been receiving from him
Me: What? Marcus has been sleeping with her?
**She burst into laughter**
Me: Talk to me!
Dorothy: See how I got you with only one attempt **Laughs** you think I will fall for your enticements? I don pass that level na
Me: D’thy has he been sleeping with her?
Dorothy: I dunno and I don’t care

My heart was already pounding hard, what could he be doing with Mirabel? I went into frenzy mode because I was so disturbed. I need to come out with another plan that’d work out well before my heart detonates out of anger. I was silent thinking hard while she’s there operating her laptop.
Me: You said you came back when you gained admission, does that mean you’re in school now?
Dorothy: Yep… 300 level
Me: Why aren’t you in school now? Or you don’t have lectures?
Dorothy: You don’t worry about me
Me: Why not? And you seemed to be worried about me?
Dorothy: That’s because I love you, got that?
Me: But i care about you
Dorothy: Nice try
Me: No i mean it
Dorothy: Alright thanks
Me: Sure you're Ok?
Dorothy: Perfecto
Me: Where can i urinate?
Dorothy: Double?!
*A guy answered from outside*
Dorothy: Bring the container
Me: Container for what? You need to untie me so i'd pee properly
Dorothy: Nice try
Me: D'thy what's your problem? Please let me go
Dorothy: Let you go? Only death can make that happen
Me: You've really gone crazy you know that?
Dorothy: **Speechless**
**The guy came with the container**
Me: Atleast you can untie me so i'd help myself
Dorothy: Give me the container and go
**The guy did as she said; then she stood up with the container**
Me: What are you trying to do?
Dorothy: **Pulling down the zipless sport trouser Marcus provided for me**
Me: No Dorothy stop that... ah! **she's giving me a head** Dorothy! Ah!
She pulled down the trouser completely, removed her undie then sat on me moving up and down after finding it a little bit difficult to place it in her because she was very tight. She raped me!
-I cummed a couple of minutes later before she stood up-
Dorothy: Whoa... I missed that
Me: You b!tch
Dorothy: Like you didn't enjoyed it **she wore my trouser back on**
Me: Is this what Marcus is doing to Mirabel? Answer me!
Dorothy: Well...just as he didn't know what just happened between us now, same way i dunno what happens there
Me: You both are animals! shameless animals!
Dorothy: You guys are the cause for all of this... you both broke our hearts!
Me: Are you guys the first to have a broken heart? Mirabel also had a broken heart but she moved on with her life. Look at you, you're no different from a dog! You both are animals!!
*Marcus rushed in*
Marcus: What's going on here? Why is he shouting?
Dorothy: Just a little misunderstanding
Me: You ba$tard! What have you been doing to Mirabel?! Where are you keeping her?! Why won't you both move on with your life and leave us alone?! You're so shameless!
Marcus: He needs to be shut off **He went and came back with something in his hand; he injected me with it. Then i dozed off instantly**

******

I found myself waking up with a blurry sight not knowing how long i slept but everywhere was dark, it was already night and i dunno what the time was saying.

Those two shameless people were really so obsessed over me and Mirabel. If Dorothy could do such thing to me, I wonder what Marcus is doing to Mirabel. I was so worried and disturbed. Marcus and Dorothy have really gone crazy.

I started thinking positively, the thought of encouragement, the thought of inspiration, the thought of strength and hope. Because, it is very difficult and rare for anyone to live a peaceful and perfect life of success without trials and challenges. No matter who we are, no matter what we do; there must be a time where we'd face some challenges. So it depends on how we'd overcome it. The Bible says that "For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith" so this is a challenge for me and i need to overcome it with faith! My name is Victor and Victor means overcomer or conqueror or winner. My name has always worked for me and this challenge won't be any different from my past victories!
I started meditating on the word of God and made certain declarations. I asked God for forgiveness for what Dorothy did to me before i started praying throughout the night having faith that something would happen: that my life will not end up this way.
I prayed that night like never before.I prayed and sang till daybreak and the glory of God manifested.

**I started hearing gunshots outside**

TO BE CONTINUED


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Life [Read it]


Akpos who was a born again christain was attach by armed rubbers the following conversation occure.....
Rubbers......ur money or ur life?
Akpos......my friend i dont have money and have given my life to christ...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-10 13:45:25

513 Views




Akpos was sleeping with another man’s wife in the man’s bed room when the man suddenly came back. The woman told Akpos to hide and she rushed to the seating room to welcome the husband.
Woman: honey welcome! You didn’t tell me you are coming back today.
Man: yes I wanted to surprise you.
Woman: what is it you are carrying?
Man: I bought a gun.
Immediately Akpos had ‘gun’, he started sweating where he was hiding in the room. Then the woman’s face changed.
Man: why is your face like that?
Woman: noting is just that I don’t like gun.
Man: Sweaty don’t worry; it’s because of all this recent rape of people’s wife by arm robbers in their husband presence that was why I bought the gun. I can’t be alive and another man will sleep with you.
Then the man turned and saw a shirt on the floor and asked the woman who owns it. Immediately Akpos came out from the room sweating. The woman’s breath sized.
Akpos: Good day sir! Madam the AC is now working.
Woman: sorry honey I forgot to tell you on phone that the AC stopped working. I just call him to check it.
Man: this one you are sweating like this, are sure it is working well.
Akpos: yes sir!
Man: sweaty go and check the AC. Mr. Man how much is your money.
Akpos: 3,000 naira sir!
Man: Well done! take your money.
Akpos thanked the man and ran home without turning back.





NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-12 21:08:52

40927 Views



Shoot Me! [Read it]


James was returning home with his salary and was
ambushed by an armed robber on a deserted street.
"Take my money, take my money!!" said James, "But
do me a favour. Shoot a bullet through my cap here
otherwise, my wife won't believe I was robbed."
The robber obliged. He threw James's cap into the air
and shot a bullet through it.
"Let's make it look as if I ran into a gang of robbers,"
said James, "otherwise, my wife will call me a
coward! Please shoot a number of holes through my
suit."
So the robber shot a number of holes through James'
suit. "
And now shoot...…"
"Sorry," interrupted the robber. "No more holes. I'm
out of bullets."
"That's all I wanted to hear!" said James. "Now hand
me back my money and some more for the cap and
suit that you've ruined or I will beat you black and
blue!"
The robber threw down the money and took to his
heels.
#BOLLY_SMART™



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-07-07 15:31:10

308 Views




How To Borrow Airtime Without
Paying Back From Any Network.
Lemme show you how, Just
follow
this steps carefully:
1. Use your preferred network
e.g
Etisalat dial *665*amount#,
Glo *321#,
MTN *606#,
Airtel *500*amount#.
Do this if you are eligible to
borrow.
2. Finish using the airtime you
borrowed.
3. Change your date to
10/10/2010
4. Remove your battery and
simcard from your
phone.
5. Go to a filing station, buy
kerosene then go
back home.
6. Now Take your sim card rub it
with kerosene
and then burn it.
With does steps, you will never
pay back that
airtime u borrow..
Please.
Don’t thank me, what are friends
for?
Am just being a caring.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-18 20:08:28

316 Views



smart akpos [Read it]


Akpos asked Chichi in a library;
“Do you mind if I sit beside you?"
Chichi answered with a loud voice; "I DON’T WANT
TO SPEND
THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!!”
All the students in the library started staring at
Akpos and he felt embarrassed. After a couple of
minutes, Chichi walked quietly to Akpos’ table and
she told him
"I study psychology and I know what someone is
thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed right?"
Akpos responded with a loud voice: "N50,000
JUST FOR ONE NIGHT!!!? THAT’S TOO MUCH
NA!!!"
Everyone in the library looked at Chichi in shock
and Akpos whispered in her ears.
"I study Law and I know how to make someone
feel guilty"


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2015-02-03 09:21:35

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Every Boy’s wish:

I’m not a Prince but my life-partner should be a Princess.

_____________________

True Lover’s wish:

My life-partner may not be a Princess but I promise I’ll treat her like a Princess!

_____________________

Happy Valentine’s day!Related

Akpos Was Fond Of Puting His Wife Photo In His Wallet.
So One Day,the Wife Asked Him That Why Is He Always Puting Her Photo In His Wallet.
Akpos Replied That "when Am In Trouble,i Just Look At The Photo And The Problem Will Disappear.
The Wife Was Happy And She Said "do You Now See How I Am Important In Your Life",
Akpos Replied That "I Just Look At Your Photo And Say To Myself That "What Problem Could Be Bigger Than This"...
Akpos Wife Fainted


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-17 23:02:38

1393 Views




Mark Zukerberg invited 5 people to his Harvard dorm room 12 years ago to discuss a business opportunity - "Facebook"

Only 2 people showed up and they got in.
Today, those two people are billionaires: Dustin Moskovitz ($10.7 Billion) and Eduardo Saverin ($7.4 Billion).
I wonder what it will be like for the other three that were also invited but didn't show up.
There is nothing more expensive than a closed mind and a missed opportunity.
*OPEN YOUR MIND TO OPPORTUNITIES TO EARN WITHOUT STRESS*
While many people dream of becoming better persons than the previous years, only a few actually do it.
WHY?
While many people dream of quitting their jobs and start their own businesses, only a few actually do it.
WHY?
Why is it that some people are more successful than others?
BECAUSE the power of their dreams is more stronger than their excuses.

1) FEAR
2) I don't have the money (ei paddy who has?)
3) I don't have any contacts to start with (Really?)
4) I'm not smart enough (sorry but you just crowned yourself as mumu ????)
5) I can't talk (Are you dumb?)
6) I don't have the time (Yet you have the time to wake up by 5am and get dressed to be in traffic)
7) I'm too busy (Doing what exactly?)
It takes too long to build a business ( But you envy Despite group , Dangote etc)
9) I'm afraid. Building a business is too risky for me (Is eating not risky? Is sleeping not risky? People have died in their sleep)
10) I don't like dealing with people (Mr Island...I greet your Excellency)
11) I'm too old (Age is never a barrier)
12) Waiting for all the lights to turn GREEN (Lights turn GREEN when you press the button)
13) My husband,my wife, my parents don't support it (They don't support you being broke either but you are????)
14) My job is too demanding and I travel a lot (Eiiii Ethiopian Wings of Africa)
15) I'm not good at marketing (Yet you are too good at forwarding numerous WhatsApp posts)
16) No,it's network. I can't do it. (But you spread gossip like wildfire but can't spread a business that will better your life?)
17) I'm not a professional (Who was born a professional?)

But if these were the deciding factors, nobody would ever succeed.
For every reason why it's not possible, there are hundreds of people who have faced the same circumstances and succeeded.
Lots of people overcome these so-called limiting factors, so it can't be the limiting factors that stop you but it's *YOU that stop YOU*.

DONALD TRUMP should be a lesson to some of us that nothing in the world can stop a determined mind. I'm still recovering from the shock that ppl say ~I can't !! I can't !! I cant~.

In this 21st century We have a better way.

Situp.

#GONATION
#BILLIONAIRMINDS
NATIONTON HAS ALL IT TAKES TO MAKE YOU A BILLIONAIRE,,,,,, Click here????????

Hot Dogs [Read it]


I went with a girl to a bar
We sat and the following conversation ensued
Waiter: Plz what should i serve you
Ola: Baby what you do u want 2 eat
Girl: What u eat, i eat
Ola: Ok give me two hotdogs
Girl: (confused) Ola shey u knw i dnt like dogs
Ola: As In
Girl: Not 2 tok of hot ones
I Fainted
..Ola


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-12-17 18:58:26

656 Views




A pastor added me on
Facebook and I innocently
accepted.
Two minutes later his message
came in:
Pastor: how are you?
Me: I’m fine my daddy.
Pastor: may the building of
heavenly favour collapse on
your head.
Me: (no reply)
Pastor: may the thunder of
blessing strike you and your
family.
Me: (no reply)
Pastor: are you there?
Me: yes my daddy
Pastor: you should be saying
amen to claim the blessings.
Me: Ok. May over speeding
trailer of blessings jam/crush
you and your family like a
moving train, faster than the
speed of light in Jesus name.
pastor: Make God forgive your
mouth.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-10 15:02:00

188 Views



Our Bed !!! [Read it]


At a small parish in rural England there lived a priest, and several nuns. One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray.
She went to the priest and told him, “Father, I believe your rugs need to be replaced soon.”
The priest thanked her for bringing it to his attention, and told her that he thought that she had been there long enough to refer to church property as ‘our’ not ‘your.’
Several days later, the same nun noticed that the hedge needed to be trimmed.
She again went to the priest and told him, “Father, I’ve noticed that your…I mean our hedge needs to be trimmed.”
The priest thanked her for again bringing something to his attention and this time asked her if she had seen his watch that had gone missing. She said she hadn’t, but assured him she would look for it.
A few days later the parish received word that the bishop would be coming for a visit. The entire parish was busy readying the church for the visit.
On the day the bishop arrived, the same nun came down the front stairs yelling, “Father! Father! I found your watch!”
The bishop said, “How wonderful my child. Where did you find it?”
After saying hello to the bishop, the nun turned to the priest and said, “I found it under OUR bed.”tempRelated

A Boy texts a girl.



Boy: Hey !

.

Girl: Hi ! What u doing ?

.

Boy: texting the most beautiful girl in the world..



Girl: Aww How cute !

.

.

.

.

.

Boy: Ya ! But She is not replying, so m texting U ! :pRelated

Continues
MeI laughed). You are funny. Well I wasn’t thinking of anything
Preston: thanks for your comment of me being funny. I guess Miranda sent you my request?
Meh that! She did.
Preston: so what’s your answer then?
Me: my answer is yes
Preston: okay thanks for your acceptance. To prove it, I would like you to follow me in there (pointing to a bar)
Me: I don’t like going to bars. Trust me I am definitely serious my answer is yes.
Preston: tick tock, tick tock, I won’t buy that seriously(tick tock continues)
Me: trust me. Bars are not my thing…… I don’t d…….(just before I could finish my statement he dragged my left hand and was walking me to the bar. I didn’t object anymore and I liked being with him)
I felt so royal when his boys about fifteen all dressed in red and white then a white or red shore on their necks. They were walking behind us. I felt honoured even being dragged by preston into the bar. We sat in a round table and I sat near him. Me: do you always come here? I don’t feel like being here
Preston: well this is my bar. Just as brenden own one u also own one.
Me: so brenden has a bar?
Preston: yes he does. The name is Brand Birds
Me: what a weird name. He always acts not normal sometimes. Is he on drugs?
Preston: you won’t have to hear that from me
Me: then tell me about yourself
Preston: that would be a topic for next time. Just have fun here. Do you know how to play pool?
MeI did play pool back in Europe with lex and I always won over him) yeah I so know how to play pool
Preston: okay then let’s play.
We played pool and we drank different types of wine and at the end he won me.
Preston: you were so tough but I still won.
Me: I always played pool back in eur…… I mean I always played pool
Preston: were you gonna say Europe?
Me: of course not I haven’t even been there?
To be continued after comments..


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Who love me most episode 16

Chidi heard the gate bell ring,he quickly got up and went to the gate ,he looked through the small hole from the gate and saw maxwell, he wondered what maxwell will be doing in his house,he opened the gate,he came outside and close the gate behind him.

Chidi :you

Maxwell smiling )yes me,i can see you are not doing bad for yourself, you have really changed on like the last time I saw you,it seems amara is doing a grate job on you.

Chidi :just stup up and tell me what you are doing in my house.

Maxwell :so rude, is that how you treat your guest,can't you at least let me come in.

Chidi:you must be sick in the head to think I will allow you into my house

Maxwell h chidi,don't be like this,we are matured lets stop behaving like kids,let's go in and talk man to man

Chidi :hmmmmmmm,on a second thought I think you are right, i could also offer you a drink, right

Maxwell :that would be nice

Chidi:now if you don't leave here ,i will be serving you your own blood

Maxwell :chidi,am not as gentle as you look,am just being a nice guy so you should do the same.

Chidi :nice you say,define nice,maxwell don't you get tried, can't you see your are ceasing your own shadow, you know you amaze me,going to a woman's family to ask for her hand in marriage when she hasn't given you her consent,buddy this is the 90's century, who does this now a days, oh I just see you can't accept defeat, Amara doesn't want you and you knows that,she is in love with me so what her you really after.

Maxwell :i haven't come for a fight,i came in peace, i want to make a deal with you,you let amara go and i will give you what ever you want,name it

Chidi laughed )this guy is really crazy, for real,you paying me off,this is good,so tell me maxwell how much money do you have,because the last time I checked my us account i have 3 million us dollar waiting for me there,so how much do you think you can give me that can beat that,you just insulted my integrity (angry )maxwell money cannot buy love,amara didn't love me because of my money but because she want to so please do give her some respect,now get lost before you start regretting why you came here.

Maxwell :what do you know about respect and love,now listen don't even try to do what you pull the other day at amara house, believe me i can be very quiet but deadly,i only allowed you to intimidated me because she was present so don't try it now cause it might just be your blood i will be drinking.

Chidi laughed

Maxwell :you can laugh for all i care,but leave amara alone, she is mine and always will be, am warning you stay away from her else

Chidi interrupted )else what,you have the gust to come to my house to warn me,i can't believe this,well for your information amara is going no where, and i will make sure of that

Maxwell :don't be too sure about that,cause you might not know what hit you,don't say I didn't warn you,like I said I am here in peace.

Chidi :if you don't leave you might go in pieces, so the choice is yours.

Maxwell looked at him gave a deadly smile and walked away,chidi opened his gate and went inside, he was not happy, as usual he went and took his cigarette and began to smoke and add an glass of alcohol drink and sat down in the sitting room,few minutes later jude,Godwin and emma entered, they were talking and laughing when they came in and saw chidi in the sitting room, judging from him mood they knew all was not well with him,they all sat down starring at him confused.

Jude:boss u dey ok

Godwin :what's going on,why are you like this

Jude:stop keeping us quite ne,waytin happened

Emma :come on men,what's up with the attitude

Chidi:you guys won't believe what happened here today

Godwin :what happened

Chidi :that bustard maxwell, came here today

Emma :maxwell, Amara friend,came here

Chidi :yeah

Jude :who is this maxwell

Emma :maxwell was the guy that we were telling you guys about, that was the friend of amara.

Godwin :ah I remember, her so called childhood friend, mmmmmm

Jude :what was his visit for

Chidi laughing )well he came to pay be off so that is can leave my woman for him

Jude:u say waytin

Chidi :he even warn me join am

Emma got up annoy )you no blow am for mouth, he dey craze

Godwin :wait oh you mean say he get the liver con dey warn our boss,that boy get mind ooooo

Jude:the boy well so

Chidi:i asked am the question but he answered like person wan dey well

Jude:boss that boy need to fall,he go fall

Godwin :i support am,e non know who you be

Emma :chidi,tell us waytin we need to do,he need to be punished

Chidi :no,i non want do anything for now

Godwin :boss ne you dey talk this one so

Emma :but why ne

Chidi :i have made a promise to my girl that I won't do anything to him so I want to keep it that way for now.

Godwin :this one ne fuck up

Chidi :so am just going to relax like nothing happened

Emma :what about Amara is she aware of this

Chidi:no,I don't want to get her involved, she has been through a lot already, i will let this pass.

Godwin :for me we go for mess this guy up oooo

Jude :abi just teach am small lesson.

Chidi :make une blood clam down

Emma :so you go do nothing abi

Chidi :i want him to make the first move,then I will make mine

Emma :sorry to say this but what if his first move becomes a smart one

Chidi :then I will try to be smarter then him.

Godwin :ne because say ne you talk am oh if not,i for put am ten fit underground

Chidi:i really need fresh hair ,so that i go think well,une game

Emma :you know am always with you ne

Chidi got up ,went inside his room to change his clothes

Jude:that guy get luck say I non dey i go for chop am raw

Godwin :i dey tell you

Chidi came out all dressed and ready

Chidi :une ready to spoil this town

They all shouted say they are ready

Chidi:make we bounce then

They all left to have fun.

Now the question is
What will maxwell do next,
Will he be that smart to make a move
Was he just trying to scare chidi
Or was he serious
Let find out in the next episode

LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS AND
READ THE NEXT EPISODE

>>

BROKEN SEAL
EPISODE 35

*in the car*
Me: sam, where are you taking
me to? I’ve never been here
before.
Samuel: hahahahaha i wanna
sell you off.
Me: that would be nice, atleast
i’d forget about my sorrows.
Samuel: (killing the engine)
here we go!! We’ar meeting an
old time buddy, you’d be
suprised to see him.
We alighted and started
towards a wheat colored
duplex which had a black gate.
The electric gate opened
automatically.
The house looked fabulous,
whoever owns this must be
rich.
A familair looking dude stood
at the corridor. Are my eyes
decieving me?
Is this Mark….Mark
stonebridge?
I was lost in thoughts until
samuel jolted me.
Mark: and who do we have
here? Guidotti jnr!
You’ve really changed, Isaiah.
Me: are you kidding me? mark
is that you?
Mark: of course! Don’t tell me
you didn’t recognize me!
Me: why would i? Bald hair
have finally caught up with
you! Hahahahaha your
beautiful hair look chopped off
.
Mark: always crazy!! Come in
guys.
We went in, the interior setting
of the house look perfect and
luxurious.
Mark, Samuel and I were a
perfect clique back then in
college.
He’s an americano, sorry i
meant Asian-American.
His dad is American and his
mum a philippian.
Mark: qué puedo ofrecerle?
Samuel: hey hey, you aint in
Spain, whats that shìt about?
Me: hahahaha samuel, you’ve
forgotten what you learnt in
spanish class?
He meant, ” what can i offer
you”
Samuel: i see….spanish is damñ
awkward……Mark do you have
cookies?
Mark: yeah, need some?
Me: yes please.
He served us cookies and fruit
juice.
We ate and continued talking
about different stuffs, actually,
nothing in particular, just
catching up on old times.
Mark had been in USA for the
past few years, doing what he
didn’t disclose.
We spent over three hours with
him before saying goodbye.
*************************************
Tomas: Ma’am, do you think
Nenita would ever return?
Naomi: i really can’t tell, but
her relatives said they’d pay us
a visit….dunno how soon.
Tomas: i wonder what kinda
mum would dump her daughter
for five good years.
Good mums don’t act that way.
Naomi: it also puzzles me, i
strongly believe there is more
to what we heard.
They were discussing until one
of the orphanage kids
interrupted.
Kid: excuse me, eh Nenita is
back!!!! (smiling).
She’s with a lady, and i was
asked to inform you.
Tomas: huh? Nenita?
Naomi led Tomas to the
waiting room where Nikky was
seated with Nenita.
Nenita: daddddyyy
she ran and hugged him
tightly, almost pushing him to
the floor, luckily the wall was
there to break his fall.
With the aid of his staff, he
found a seat, which he sat on,
with Nenita on his lap. Nenita
started gisting him about
Nikky………
Naomi: nice seeing you again,
mrs….?
Nikky: Nikky.
Naomi: i almost forgot your
name. (smiling)
you didn’t mention you’d be
visiting this soon…..
Nikky: Nenita was missing her
uhm…..dad. (false smile)
Naomi: don’t mind her, shes
just too close to Tomas.
Nikky: hmmmm.
They continued talking about
different stuffs, Nenita was
having fun with her ‘daddy’
Nikky was deep in the
conversation to the extent that
she lost track of time, Naomi is
a friendly old woman, she
never get tired of talking.
An hour later, Nikky was ready
to take her leave but Nenita
wasn’t yielding.
This got Nikky furious!
She had her plans but this lil
daughter of hers was getting in
the way, she was greatly
angered but managed to mask
her feelings.
On a second thought, she can
take Tomas with her, she would
execute her plans while he
would be receiving treatments.
Yes perfect!!!
Nikky: ma’am, is it possible to
take Tomas with me to Manila
for his eye treatment?
Naomi: it would be great if you
do that.
We had been praying for this
for a while now.
Tomas on the other hand was
engrossed in his chat with
Nenita, until Naomi told him
about Nikky’r plan.
He was ecstatic, he’d finally
get to see again he can’t
wait!!!!


>>

ONE WRONG TURN
CONTUATION FROM LAST EPISODE

” pray nothing happens to your
friend, you
prostitute. ”
” and you” focusing on me “how
did you
become friends with this girl?”
I looked sullenly at her, if only
she knew how
much i regret knowing Hannah.
“what happened ma? ” i asked
almost
inaudibly
” your friend here was paid fifty
thousand to
arrange three prostitutes for a boy
and his
friends. She brought you and Ruth
to them.
Obviously you were not open to
the
arrangement, i guess. I heard you
threatened
one of them with a sharp object”
“yes ma, ” i replied
” when you left, he demanded for
his money or
another girl. But i guess your
friend here has
spent all the money. So they
settled for Ruth
instead, without her knowledge.
Apparently ruth refused to
‘accommodate’ two
boys at the same time, so they
resorted to
coercion. They forced a substance
into her
mouth and nose. I’m not sure
what it was, but
from the description, it might be
cocaine and
Rohypnol.
Anyway Ruth passed out, she had
no idea
what happened. When she woke
up, she was
bleeding via her womanliness and
acting
abnormally. So they brought her
here and
disappeared.
Well, your friend suffered from the
effect of
cocaine and the trauma she also
passed
through. She had a miscarriage
too”
Her last sentence shocked me, i
almost
jumped out of my seat.
“how is that possible?” i asked,
with tears
falling freely from my eyes.
“well she told us she was six
weeks pregnant,
and Hannah here has been giving
her pills to
terminate it. I guess she has
succeeded now”
I stood up from my seat with
uncontrollable
anger, and grabbed Hannah by
her collar. I
wanted to choke her badly.
“what have you done, you devil. If
anything
happens to Ruth i will kill you
myself ” i
screamed at the top of my voice.
Hannah sat helplessly, making no
effort to
defend herself. The gravity of her
actions must
have sank deep into her head. The
nurse ran
across to us, and freed Hannah
from my grip.
” calm down, Ruth is stable now,
the worst
has past” she said as she pulled
me away
from Hannah.
“can i see her? “i asked calmly.
” follow me” she ordered.
The three of us walked out of the
office, as she
lead us towards another room. She
stood by
the entrance, and directed us to
go in and be
brief. I opened the door and
walked in, while
Hannah held back. She was
reluctant to see
Ruth. Off course she had to be, it
was difficult
to predict what Ruth’s reaction
will be.
I got closer to the bed and called
out to Ruth
gently. She turned her head
towards me
slowly. Her pillow was soaked
with tears, her
eyes were pale and swollen. She
looked
nothing like the girl that left
school with me
this morning.
She was still sobbing quietly when
she
signaled me to come closer.
I walked up to her and bent down
to listen.
“tell Hannah that i ll kill her and
myself when
i leave this hospital ” she
whispered into my
ears in between sobs.
I could feel the pain and anger in
her voice,
she never deserved this. I’d kill
Hannah too if i
had the courage.
” pls don’t bring my parents into
this” she
continued, as she burst in another
round of
tears.
I held her hand, and we cried
together for a
while. I couldn’t take it anymore, i
had leave
the room.
Hannah and the nurse were still
standing
outside. I looked at her coldly,
with hatred and
anger clearly visible. I felt the
urge to choke
her again.
The nurse placed her hand on my
shoulder,
and spoke in a gentle voice.
“you have to help Ruth, we need
to contact
her family, this is a psychiatric
hospital. We
have done our part, we need to
refer her to the
teaching hospital, she needs an
ultrasound
which we can’t do here. So if you
know any
way of contacting her parents,
please tell me”
I thought about it for a while, if
Ruth’s parents
entered the fray, it will only be a
matter of
time before my parents would
know too. All
our dirty secrets will be exposed.
I’d probably
get the beating of my life.
But all that didn’t matter, i had to
do the right
thing, even if it would be a
disaster for me.
Ruth needed help.
“i know her house” i blotted out.
“fine, i will get my keys” she
replied, and
headed for her office
“what are you doing? you are
going to expose
all of us” Hannah whispered .
I had no idea how to reply her, i
simply swung
my hand around and struck her
face. The slap
startled her, but she made no
attempt to
retaliate. She simply held her
cheek. My reply
was clearly delivered i suppose.
I knew our little hide and seek
had come to an
end, but what i was left to
anticipate was my
parent’s reaction when they find
who i had
become.


>>

Akpors again!! [Read it]


Akpors again
Akpors came back from lectures and was serious Hungry, with an angery and Red eye he immediatetly rushed to Kitchen and....




....

...

....
Sorri oooooo
TODAY IS MONDAY! Thanks for readings...
Thats all!

%Nazature...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-24 12:31:52

279 Views




BROKEN SEAL
EPISODE 36

Its time for dinner, Nenita
declined being on the dinning
table with Nikky.
She preferred being in with
Tomas who was eating in the
sitting room.
Nikky just ignored them,
atleast Nenita is now in her
custody and Tomas would be in
the hospital for days.
That is enough to buy her time.
Nenita: hmmmm this food
tastes great. Right daddy?
Tomas: of course baby, we’ve
never ate this kinda food
before, your mum is a great
cook you know.
Nenita: speaking of her, do you
think shes my real mother?
Tomas: ma’am Naomi can’t lie
to you.
Besides, i think i remembered
ma’am Naomi mentioning you
were brought to the orphanage
by a man.
That was years ago.
Nenita: but why did she
abandon me all this while?
Tomas: it’d be better to hear
from the horse’ mouth.
Nenita: i tried asking her, but
she seem not to know how
questions are to be answered.
She’d either tell me “shut up”
or “i’d tell you later”
Tomas: maybe shes waiting for
the right time.
Its not everything kids should
know.
Nenita: i hope you eye surgery
would be successful so you’d
finally get to know what i look
like.
Tomas: hope so too…i know my
baby is a beautiful girl.
Nenita: of course! Eh dad,
promise me that no matter
what, you’d still remain my
dad.
Tomas: you’d be seeing your
biological father real
soon…..promise! I’d remain
your godfather.
Nenita:thanks dad, i love you!!!
this food is the best! I think i’d
add some more.
*************************************
The past days were so boring
and uneventful.
How can they be eventful
when the valley between Ella
and I is growing deeper?
She don’t pick my phone calls,
don’t reply my message.
Isabella left for her friends’
house.
I felt lonely and bored, and so
decided to take a walk
downstreet.
I walked for minutes. I ran
into a church and decided to
go in.
Perhabs to say a word of
prayer. Its been long i last
prayed.
I entered St. Michael catholic
church.
I was greeted by rows of desks
and a very tall pulpit.
The priest here must be a very
tall man.
I found myself a seat.
Rather than praying, i got lost
in my thoughts maybe ‘coz the
environment was serene and
cozy.
I felt a soft touch on my back,
it jolted me from my thoughts.
Hmmmm so angels truly exist?
I turned to face the angel, to
have a glimpse of it before it
disappear to God knows where.
Rather than an angel, a human
was standing in front of me.
Someone didn’t expect to see
in the next decade.
I was suprised to see Ella, she
attend masses here?
I tried hard to resist the urge
to hug her.
I only hissed and turned my
face.
Ella: sweetheart am sorry!
Did you hear that? “sweet
heart? Am i hallucinating? This
is too good to be real, if its a
dream, i don’t wanna ever end
it.
Me: (feigning anger) what do
you want?
She sat next to me and held
my hands….
Ella: i’m sorry, i misinterpreted
everything.
Me: what do you mean?
Ella: well you see, when i saw
those pics, i got mad
immediately, i thought you
were cheating.
Isabella explained everything
to me, moreso, i have this
hunch that Rodelio was part of
the plan ‘coz of his incessant
pester in the past few days.
I also saw him chatting with
that lady on several occasions.
Me: i’m glad you finally know
the truth, so we’ar good?
Ella: More than good! Who
exactly is that lady and why
are you two that close?
I was taken aback by her
question, should i tell her
everything?
That Nikky my ex is pregnant,
noooo what if she leaves me
after hearing this?
I can’t loose her!!!
Me: i….i mean we….uhm….
Just then my phone started
ringing. the caller is Nikky!!!
I ignored the call but my
phone continued ringing.
Ella: won’t you pick your call?
If i don’t, Ella may get
suspicious, what if i do, what
would i say on the phone?!!!


>>


2nd Semester Exams For All Departments
Course: Love Mathematics.
Course code: MTH 211
All questions carry equal marks.
Time allowed: 2hrs, 30 minutes.

1. If a girl is in love for 3 years and at the end, the guy breaks up with her, WHAT is the formula for calculating such love and time wasted?

2. As a guy, you dated more than 7 chicks at a time. Using the Almighty Formula, CALCULATE the expenses and loss in handling all of them?

3. STATE 5 differences between Orobo (fat) girls and Lekpa (skinny) girls.

4. With the aid of a labelled diagram, DRAW and EXPLAIN the term "Ukwu". (Question 5- For girls only)

5. Using Laws of indices, CALCULATE the disappearance of your boyfriend whenever you demand for an iPhone 6. (Question 6- For boys only.)

6. You send an airtime worth #1500 to your girlfriend and she sends you a `Please call me I Love You` text. CALCULATE the profit and Loss of the airtime being sent and use the proportional ratio to attain the equation.

7. You broke up with your girl because of Christmas gifts, etc. Using quadratic equation, CALCULATE how long it`ll take you to get her back in January.

8. As a guy, you are dating other people`s sister, but you don`t want any other guy to date your sister. CALCULATE the percentage of your foolish and wicked behaviour. (Take pie =3.14)

9. When you check a Facebook profile, 99% of guys are single as their marital status states, and 99.9% of the girls are dating, engaged, in a relationship or married. BRIEFLY explain who they are all dating in not less than two sentences.

N/B- Attempt all question to avoid carry- over!

GOODLUCK!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-27 07:07:03

690 Views




A 5yrs old girl asked her teacher¡ PLS SIR, DOES HONEY HAVE LEGS? THE teacher answered "NO" my dear but why do u asked? The girl said because every nite i hear dad saying, HONEY OPEN UR LEGS. As a good teacher what answer will u give to the poor girl? 
lol!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-05 20:11:53

293 Views




Me: so, watz cooking?
Mary: Prepared vegetable soup with
wheat….
Me: no wonder you want to kill us with
aroma..
Mary: At least not as much as your wifey?
Me: Until i eat before i pass my comment…
but
where did u c money to cook?
Mary: the money u dropped for me this
morning
now…i make use of it and added 2k that i
have
with me to it…
Me: that means am in debt of 7k already
Mary: 7k ko….ur money is more than that
ooo…
wont u pay for workmanship
Me: oh..oh..lets say like 10k then…
Mary: well, i will manage that from u……
Me: please write it in ur debtors book..i will
pay
I went to the bathroom to take my bath..i
was still
in the bathroom when i heard the bathroom
door
open..i knew it was no one else than Mary
even
though i still av soap all over my
face……..wat i felt
was a hand on my Dickson with a
massage, before
i knew what was happening, mary mouth
was
already on my Joystick giving me serious
mouth
action…..we bleeped in the bathroom and
from
there to the bedroom….what a serious
enjoyment.
It was a bright Friday morning, i dressed
up for
work as early as possible and as a means
of
appreciation, i dropped 10k for mary and
asked
when next we will see..she said we will talk
about
that on phone when she’s up..i instructed
her to
drop the extra key for me at the entrance
whenever she’s going….
.
I got to work and everytyn went on normal,
i called
Biola and she told me she was wont be
coming
over the weekend as she had something to
do for
her parent. It was a bit stressful day and i
closed
late as usual…instead of hanging out, i
went home
straight..I got to the entrance of my room
and i
realized someone was inside my flat……”so,
this
babe is still around”.
I knocked at the door and it was opened for
me,
what a big surprise as it was Biola my
fiancée that
opened the door for me, standing in the
sitting
room was Mary staring at us.
Biola: Welcome baby……how was work
today
Me: Welcome darling…work was fine, a bit
stressful
today….we talked today and you sad you
aint
showing up this weekend
Biola: I wanted to do a surprise for you
ni….moreover u didn’t tell me your cousin
was
around
Mary: (cousin ke? I hope dis geh neva
cause
wahala) Am very sorry for that, it escaped
my mind
and i didn’t she will still be around up till
now
Biola: She said same too………
Me: am surprise…….
Biola: she said they have not answered her
concerning her certificate she came to
process,
they asked her to come back on
Monday….but
have asked her to stay behind till that
Monday
instead of going to Ibadan and coming
back on
Monday
Me: Nooooooo baby…..her dad called me
today to
confirm if i saw her and i told them she will
be
home today…but as its late already, i guess
she
should be going home first thing tomorrow
morning
as they said she has something to do for
them at
home
Mary: don’t mind daddy jare uncle snakie,
he’s just
missing me but i already called him that i
wont be
coming till on Monday evening…..Atleast
lemme
use the opportunity to play with u guys a
little
before going cos only God knows when next
we will
see again…most especially i will get to
know our
wife very well……
Me: (mo daran…iru wahala wo leleyi)
……..but i still
maintain that you go home tomorrow den u
can
come back properly for a visit as we will be
well
prepared by then
Biola:what kind of preparedness is that, it
will be
too stressful for her to go to Ibadan and
come
back on Monday now, i believe popsy too
will
reason along that line……..abeg aunty Mary,
lets go
to the kitchen and continue with our
cooking
jare……..Food will soon be ready baby boy
Me: Ohk…no p, you have the final say baby
I went inside the room soliloquising about
what just
happened…”am i dreaming? How will i cope
with
two girls in d same room? Is Mary crazy?
Whats
she up to? What kind of game is she trying
to play
with me? I hope have not used my Dickson
to
cause trouble for mysef? What am i going
to do? I
had to see to the fact the she leave my
house first
thing on Monday morning….what a devil.
I never had a chance to be alone with Mary
to
query her on what she was up to and wat
she
discussed with my fiancée. It was late in
the night
and a happy mood between me and my
fiancée…
we gisted about so many things and had a
wonderful round of s*x before relaxing on
bed
Me: baby, where are u going with this your
big bag
that you came with?
Biola: Nowhere of course…told u am
starting my
leave on Monday now, so i will be spending
my two
weeks here
Me: two weeks?
Biola: yes…anytyn wrong? You are
expecting any
visitor
Me: which visitor? You no i will never
expect
anybody now or when did you start
doubting my
love for you
Biola: am not doubting…its your
expression……..
Me: Dont mind me jare…….
Biola: how i wish your cousin will still be
around..atleast she will be keeping me
company
during this period when you will be at work
Me: No ooooo….she cant stay ooooo (in
harsh
tone)
Biola: Is anytyn there baby..why the
reaction
Me: Notyn..i just don’t want any family in
between
us at this stage of our relationship…
Biola: I understand dear…moreover i didn’t
tell her
anytyn of such
Me: Better…let her just go home that
Monday…..
Biola: Ohk Baby…smile now, this one you
just
strong ur face like this
Me: don’t mind me jare……Hope mumsy and
popsy
are aware of your decision
Biola: why wont they..have u 4gotten we
have
done our intro already…so, no qualm
Me: ohk ooo…..as your lordship pleases
madam……
We heard a knock on the door……..
Biola: Yes who’s it…
Mary: Its me aunty biola…..
“whats this devil looking for at this time of
d nyt”
Biola: Please come in, the door is open…..
“came in with a bump short that belongs to
my
fiancée”
Mary: Dunno watz wrong with the AC..its
not
coming up, dunno if u guys can come and
help me
out with it
Me: Ohhh..its been a while we on it maybe
thats
why
Biola: baby, why not go and look into it
while i
quickly freshen up
Me: am tired jhoor…u can go and help her
out
Biola: you are the man of the house
now..why
sending a female for a man’s job
Mary: dnt mind him always running away
from
responsibility
Me: what do u mean?
Biola: Baby pls go, lemme quickly take my
bath……
Me: ohk oooo…oya lets go mary……………

To Be Continued…



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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one word for him








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-07 14:06:33

2446 Views




HEAR MY STORY..... Episode 1
By Dotun Akintunde-Cometova

Episodes:

EPISODE 9

Mma had slept when he came to her door.
He
knocked gently.
Nothing.
He knocked again.
He’d turned to leave when the door
groaned and
opened.
‘Hey, I sorrying o. I sleeping and not
knowing you
knocking.’
‘It’s ok.’
He walked in and sat on the bed.
Mma sat on the chair by the wall.
‘How are you.’
‘I fine.’
‘Have you eaten?’
‘Eh. I didn’t even finish the yam Stellar
gave me.’
‘Yam?’
‘Yes. She giving me with ofe okwuru.’
‘You ate yam and okro?’
‘Yes. I wanting to asking you sef how you
people
eating in this house.’
He stood and left the room. From her room,
Mma
could hear his voice, stern and loud, as he
questioned Stella.
‘What did you make for dinner?’
‘Then why would you give her yam?’
‘Are you silly? So you think people from the
village
eat yam and okro?’
Mma heard Stella’s ‘I’m very sorry, sir’ and
nodded. She would have a small discussion
with
the fat maid in the morning.
Nnanna returned to her room. He told her
that she
would follow Madam to the clinic on
Saturday.
‘What is kilinic?’
‘Hospital.’
‘Oh. No problem. I going with her. Please
wearing
her so that I thanking her.’
‘For what?’
‘She agreeing to taking me to hospital. She
very
good woman. You knowing Ekeoma?’
Nnanna shook his head.
Mma hummed. ‘She pouring hot water,
mmiri oku,
on Ifunanya, the girl selling beer at Oye
because
she hearing Deh Amadi sleeping with the
girl. The
girl, Ifunanya, you suppose knowing her
now, she
fairing well well.’
Nnanna stared at her, amused. ‘You will
thank her
in the morning. She’s slept already,’ he
said. He
turned to himself. ‘No facebook tonight
means
she’s really tired,’ he muttered.
Cynthia left early in the morning before
Mma even
wake up.
Nnanna too. Before he left, he’d entered her
room
and found her sprawled on the bed, snoring
gently.
He asked Stella to take care of her and
make sure
to provide all she needed.
Stella nodded.

To Be Continued

>>

IJE(The journey)
Episode 3
When we got back home later that night, the
bloodied paper was on the floor by the door.
Peace had scribbled a note. I gave the note to
Sister Faith read it, and wept.
It told a tale of how she had slept with five men
in our compound, and that our landlord raped
her. when she fell pregnant, she didn’t know who
was responsible, neither did she even know she
was pregnant until one of them told her she was.
She didn’t say who, she also didn’t say who gave
her the concoction. But she listed the men that
slept with her. Peace was only fourteen years
old.
My elder sister went to the police station the
next day, and reported the case. All the men
including the land lord were arrested. Two days
later they were bailed and the landlord gave us
the remainder of our rent and sent us packing.
The matter died at the police station. I decided
that I was going to become a lawyer.
I never got over the death of my sister. For
years I would close my eyes and see the blood
and imagine the way she must have dragged
herself on the floor in pains, trying to get to the
door. I swore off men, I realised that all the
problems that came to my family had to do with
men and pregnancies. I was having a battle with
getting into the university, to fulfil my dreams of
becoming a lawyer.
Sister Faith got married, and that was the
beginning of another phase in my life. her
husband was a never do well. I could see it from
the first day I met him, and I always wondered
why she couldn’t see it. Our father wasn’t even
present to take the bride price, it was his
younger brother that stood in for him. As for our
mother, it seemed like she had jumped out of
this world with our brother Andrew, that morning
they left us.
Two months into their marriage, Uncle Amos
raped me. That day my world came crashing
down. I have never been of a big stature, and it
was very easy for him to overpower me that
evening when my sister sent me home from the
shop to make dinner. I lay on the floor weeping,
until my sister came. She asked me what had
happened, and when I told her, she took me into
the bathroom and bathed me. That was the end
of that incident. We never spoke about it. It was
like it never happened.
A repeat performance followed the very next
month. This time, Sister Faith blamed me, saying
I was seducing her husband. That was the
beginning of the end of my life in that house. I
soon found out I was pregnant, and the house
became a place of torment. Uncle Amos wanted
me to have the baby, stating that my sister had
not given him any yet. This was barely four
months into their marriage. My sister said that
would happen over her dead body. I was scared
and felt trapped. I didn’t want to end up like
peace, and I didn’t want to have a baby, least of
all for the devil called Amos. I had dinner one
night, and went to bed. A sharp pain in my
abdomen woke me up, and I was bleeding.
My sister and her husband quarrelled In the
middle of the night, while I bled out on my bed.
That night, I stared death in the face, but in my
suffering, I refused to die. I was not going to end
up a failure and refused to die so young. Uncle
Amos accused Sister Faith of giving me
something to remove the pregnancy, and Sister
Faith said God was vindicating her of the evil
she married. They went on for hours........To be continued

>> Episode 4 -

Akpors again [Read it]


akpors as a journalist was walking along the street one day, then he notice people gathering on the other side of the road as a journalist he wanted to know what happen so he crossed and went over on getting close he ask and they told him it was an accident, as a journalist he wanted to see the victim but had no chance cus a lot of people had gathered round so he thought for a moment and then came up with an idea, he started shouting PLEASE MAKE WAY AM THE SON OF THE VICTIM, on hearing that the people give him way, on getting to the middle he found out that the victim was a dog. if u were akpors what will u do??


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-07 10:32:56

468 Views




Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?

Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says ‘To the only boy I ever loved’

Gal: Great! I want 10 of themRelated

One night Akpos came back home highly drunk. He wanted to listen to news so he picked the TV remote and was struggling with it to change the channel. This went on for over 30min before his wife came out from the room.
Wife: Honney, give me the remote let me help you.
Akpos replied "No, I can do it just help me hold the TV one place"

Can Akpos Ever Change the Channel?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-29 09:21:34

4063 Views




Katherina: what?dad what is he talking about?
Joab: don't mind this drama king;i didn't steal anything
Zeal: really?then how did you get this?(he show her the chain) go on;tell her
Katherina: dad;is this not the chain my sister's friend gave her
Zeal: young woman;where is your sister?
Katherina: um..
Zeal: go on;tell us
Joab: just fellow me

Katherina: dad
Joab: come on(curtain)
Zippor: receptionist;i just want to make sure that you don't allow any dark tall man into my sister Isabella room
Receptionist: alright sir
Zippor: thank you at least;we understand each other(to himself)i just don't get it;why people cross their lines
Zuriel: (to himself)what is wrong with everyone in this wide world?
Zippor: hey
Zuriel: Zippor;what are you doing here?
Zippor: i should be asking you that?
Zuriel: but i asked you first
Zippor: but i am older than you;so you go first
Zuriel: so cunning;my mom is sick and she is admitted here
Zippor: oh really?sorry i am really sorry about it
Zuriel: is okay;is not your fault
Zippor: i am definitely not the curse and i am not a wizard(laughed both)
Zuriel: you funny just like your sister;anyway;how is she?
Zippor: she is not fine
Zuriel: what did you mean by that?
Zippor: she got involved in an argument with some girl whom claim to be your girlfriend
Zuriel: Dedo
Zippor: so you still have a girlfriend
Zuriel: so does it mean that Dedo did what landed her in this hospital?why is she that mean?
Zippor: don't get me wrong;she is not the one;my devil of a dad did it to her
Zuriel: what?why?
Zippor: is a long story,i just can't give you the details for now;would you like to see her?
Zuriel: of cause,i want to
Zippor: shall we but you know you;you are a bad boy
Zuriel: what?i am not
Zippor: don't worry;i will tell you;shall we
Zuriel: after you (curtain)
Melisa: where are those two?
Mara: i don't know;just take a rest
Melisa: i just hope they haven't left me alone
Mara: don't be silly;they will never leave you;go on rest
Melisa: and please;go answer the doctor;if i can take a look around
Mara: yes i have done that already and she said yes
Melisa: really so?does that mean we can go now?
Mara: not so fast;is later not now
Melisa: alright ma
Mara: rest;for now;i will go check on my offices;what is going on?
Melisa: alright take care(curtain)
Joab: here is the thief
Lola: dad;what is going on here?
Joab: you see that useless sister of yours;she is a thief;officer take her away
Zeal: young man;are you sick?is she not your daughter?how can you be telling the officer to arrest your sick daughter?(she open her eyes) are you insane?
Isabella: dad
Joab: who is your dad?you thief;i thought you said a boy gave this chain you but in a real sense you stole it
Isabella: but dad
Joab: will you shut up thief
Zeal: Isabella
Isabella: sir;believe me;i didnt stole it(enter Zippor/Zuriel)
Joab: don't believe her;she is a thief,she stole your son chain;officer take her away
Zuriel: that is not true;i gave it to her
Zeal: really son
Zuriel: yes dad;i gave it to her
Joab: don't believe your son;he just do not want the law to take his course
Zippor: dad;will you just close your mouth;if you don't have anything to say
Joab: so you are telling me to shut up because of that thief(enter Doctor)
Katherina: dad;stop,just stop it,you are embarrassing our family in public
Joab: i should stop?then;tell this your brother to respect me
Zippor: i should respect you?didn't i tell you;i don't want to see you here?
Doctor: hey;please;this an hospital;you should try and respect yourselves
Zippor: we are sorry ma,so how is her condition?can we go home now?
Doctor: am afraid;for how is a no
Katherina: why?
Doctor: i will like to see her husband
Zippor: husband?
Doctor: of cause;her husband because i will to discuss her condition with him
Lola: what condition?
Doctor: please;just tell him when he comes;if he is not here;to see me in my office
Isabella: doctor;can you stop this madness;i am not married and should in case you want to asked of my boyfriend;i do not have. so just say what you have to say now
Doctor: what?then how come you are pregnant?
Katherina: pregnant
Doctor: yes;she is four weeks pregnant
Isabella: doctor;you are kidding right?
Doctor: i am not;that is the fact(she flashback to the rape incident) here is the result;if you want to
Joab: useless girl;you are not only a thief;you are also a slot;you are a prostitute
Lola: Isabella;what is this?why did you have to do this to us?
Joab: she is just a bad egg(Zippor rise his head and look at Zuriel)silly girl
Zippor: (he slapped Zuriel)did you impregnated my sister
Zuriel: i didn't do anything to her(he slapped him again) stop it
Zippor: you this stupid boy;i trusted you and you do this to ma and my sister
Isabella: will you stop;he is not
Zippor: then who is responsible for this?
Isabella: i don't know
Joab: she doesn't know;she is a prostitute and a disgrace
Isabella: disgrace?i am a disgrace;i know but why are you been dragged into my disgrace;when you are are not my father?we are not related then why should my act affect you?why are you acting like you care?for all this passed four years;i wish for only one thing that feel my pain but every time i got hurt;you are happy;not only happy;you are also the cause of my pain. i stop hoping and wishing because you are not the kind of a father i want in my life;i am pregnant so what?i don't know who got me pregnant;and so?am i the first person to get pregnant without knowing who is responsible?
Joab: you are really shameless
Zippor: Joab;will you just keep quiet
Joab: what?you called me by my name?you that i gave birth to
Zippor: stop this rubbish;if you don't have what to say;keep quiet
Zeal: son;are you the one responsible?
Zuriel: dad;you don't believe me also?
Joab: don't bothered your son;he is innocent or maybe Zippor is responsible
Zippor: i told you;Joab to keep quiet;you are not only a stupid man but also a deceit;i wonder why mom is so blind that she got married to a slanderer
Isabella: stop;stop it;all of you get out;i want to be left alone;leave;all of you out
Zippor: baby;please;i beg you
Isabella: i said get out;everyone get out
Doctor: i think you all should just leave
Katherina: alright;come on Zippor lets go
Zippor: i don't want to(he held her hand)i am sorry;we can always talk about it some other time;right?(she pull her hand from his)
Isabella: go leave me alone(exit all)no oh;i hate everyone;i hate myself and my biological parent(she cried)
Doctor: is alright
Isabella: don't worry you can go;i will be just fine
Doctor: alright(curtain)
Zeal: Zuriel;are you sure you are responsible?
Zuriel: dad;can you please stop it;i said,'i am not' the girl in question said i am not responsible
Zeal: what if she is just saying that?
Zuriel: i cant believe you dad,that i am capable of putting a girl in a family way and then denial her? for what?if i have to denial every other girl in this world not her dad,not her because i love her
Zeal: what did you just say?
Zuriel: you heard me right dad;i said i love her and i am going to wait and find out who got her pregnant and i will never give up
Zeal: i am saying it because.....
Zuriel: dad;please
Joab: is it that bad?am i that bad?that my own son called called me by my first name(he drunk wine)i am that cruel?that people seem to see the bitterness in my eyes for that girl;she said it all;she is just hoping that i will love again;i am a worthless father;a monster;every time;i want to right my wrong,i ended up aggravated the issue;am i that bad
Mark: please brother;stop taking it out on yourself
Joab: i should stop;i hurt everyone;everyone;no one escape by wrath;all of them are my victim and for what because i was angry;i am mad at them for loving me;for saving my life that is miserable and for protecting me. what do i get now?how can i make up for all this time;i hurt her
Mark: then make her happy
Joab: how can i make her happy?
Mark: go search for you son
Joab: (he laughed)how is that possible and how will that make her happy
Mark: when you find him;you will find her parent;that way you can right your wrong;you just do this one thing for her,i beg you
Joab: but how can i do that?
Mark: i don't know;just go look for her parent and stop her misery,excuse me(he passed out)
Lola: Katherina;i need to go home and get some stuff
Katherina: is alright;take care(enter Zippor)hey,where are you going to?
Zippor: where did you think;i am going to?
Katherina: but she doesn't want to see anyone
Zippor: i want to take her;alone
Katherina: alright;take care of her(he hug her)i love you brother
Zippor: i love you too;i have to go
Katherina: alright(exit Zippor)
Zippor: baby;i brought your doll
Isabella: you don't have to
Zippor: really so;little Isabella(to the doll)big Isabella;she doesn't love anyone any more;she is cool;is it good to always want to be alone?is it good to stay mute;knowing your mouth will have odour when you don't talk to people
Isabella: but i do talk to myself,so my mouth can't developed odour

Zippor: isn't that madness(she hit him)hey;that hurt
Isabella: you are being mean,you just called me mad
Zippor: who gave me the right?do i want my head to be chop off
Isabella: will you stop being annoying(enter Zuriel)
Zippor: annoying(she smiled)now i make you laughed
Isabella: come here(she hugged him)i love you
Zippor: i love you too;i brought you chocolate;do you want to have some and i also brought you milk
Isabella: Zippor;come here,dont you want to know who get me pregnant and why are you not mad at me?why are you not disappoint in me?
Zippor: is because a man doesn't castigate his children without hearing them out and even if the child doesn't want to share his/her problem;he will be patience with them because he love them(they hugged)
Isabella: i wonder what i would had done without you?
Zippor: and i also wonder if i can breath;when you are not there(tears roll Zuriel's eyes)
Isabella: thank you for loving me
Zippor: and thank you for letting me love you;that is enough;lets eat
Isabella: don't you know want to know about it?
Zippor: it doesn't matter;if you are thinking i will stop loving you,that will never happen;come eat up
Isabella: Zippor;is.....
Zippor: try this new brand of chocolate
Isabella: is Obed
Zippor: (he take a deep breath)who is Obed?(outside)
Zuriel: Obed(back)
Isabella: yes;he raped me;i begged him;i cried;i struggle with him but he overed powered me and deflowered me
Zippor: who is the person in question?
Isabella: Zuriel's brother
Zippor: Zuriel's brother raped you in their house and did you tell Zuriel?
Isabella: no;his mother threaten to kill me;if i tell anyone. please,promise me you won't tell anyone(exit Zuriel)promise me;i b beg you
Zippor: i promise(he hugged her)
Zeal: hey young man;where have you being and why are you crying?
Zuriel: i am going home
Zeal: but why?
Zuriel: don't worry dad,i will be fine
Zeal: did you tell your mother;that you are leaving?
Zuriel: i will call her(enter Mara)goodbye dad
Mara: what is wrong with that boy?why is he so angry and where is he going?
Zeal: i dont know why;he said,'he is going home'
Mara: what?
Zeal: i am leaving also;i have this urge that something is not just right
Mara: what do i tell your wife?
Zeal: just tell her anything(exit Zeal)
Mara: what is wrong with this two men in my sister's life(curtain)
Ada: mother;Obed is back
Alice: young man;what are you thinking spending the night out?do you know have been worried sick about you?what if your dad came back yesterday?what will i had tell him?
Obed: will you stop it;dad,is out with his favorite son on a voyage for the one he truly love;don't you get it;dad is not interested in anyone of us(she slapped him) the truth hurt right?but it is always good to say the fact
Obedient: will you just shut up and stop saying nonsense after drinking and smoking your life away;just pray that dad doesn't find out
Obed: will you stop acting like you are a saint;who among us in this wide world will be attracted to a.....
Ada: that is enough;just go in and change(enter Zuriel)
Obed: of cause;i know(he brought out a cigarette and light it)worthless people(Zuriel punch him)hey you;what are you doing?(he throw another and they fought)stop it
Alice: you witch;leave my son alone(the separated them)crazy thing(enter Zeal)useless boy
Zuriel: let me go;i don't think you know the meaning of useless because if you do;by now,you should had realised that having a chain smoker;a drunk and a rapist as a son;is not a son but a useless son
Obedient: what are you talking about?
Zuriel: ask this brother and mother of yours and why should i even asked him to tell you?when they are liars; never knew that that thus two can be conspirators;even when her son raped the poor girl i brought here;this wicked witch covered it by threaten her and you think no one will know
Obed: i didn't raped any girl and if that stupid girl told you;i raped her;she is telling lie
Alice: she doesn't even have the heart
Zeal: does it mean that;what Zuriel is saying is true?
Zuriel: dad;why are you asking them?it is so obvious
Zeal: so you put that girl in a family way?
Ada: she is pregnant?
Zeal: be ready to get married to her
Obed: God forbid; can never get married to a school drop out
Zeal: you still have mouth to talk;you should be praying them should be willing to give their daughter to you because you are just a disappointment. i would had disinherit you right now and here because you are not worthy to be called son and pray they didn't press charges against you
Alice: those are empty threats cause she doesn't have any family that will fight for her
Zeal: you are so unbelievable
Zuriel: that is where you get it wrong cause her brother is ready to do anything;he can even kill him in his sleep all for his sister happiness
Ada: Zippor
Zuriel: don't asked me;wicked people(exit Zuriel)
Zeal: i will deal with you in this house and you;you are grounded (exit Zeal)
Obedient: brother you are wicked;really wicked(curtain)
Melisa: where do you say my family went to?
Mara: i don't know
Melisa: do you think everything is fine?
Mara: you worry too much;just wait here i will be back
Melisa: alright;you and the things you are always checking on
Mara: yes ma(exit Mara)
Melisa: crazy girl(enter Zippor)
Zippor: i hate it;i hate myself;i am sorry;i am such a worthless brother(he hit the tree) what kind of a brother;am i?
Melisa: hey young man;what is wrong with you?
Zippor: everything is wrong;i am just a worthless boy;i have just one thing but i just can't protect that one thing;what kind of a person;am i?
Melisa: calm down;please calm down;i am sure what you are going through;will be a passing phrase
Zippor: i just pray so(blood pump from her nose) ma;you are bleeding
Melisa: is nothing
Zippor: no;i will just take you back to your room,so the doctor will attend to you
Melisa: don't worry i will be fine
Zippor: i insist;just let me do this;what is your room number?
Melisa: ward 101(she passed out)
Zippor: oh my God(he took her back to the room on her wheelchair)doctor;how is she now?
Doctor: dont worry she is fine
Mara: doctor are you sure?
Doctor: of cause;i go ahead
Mara: alright(exit Doctor)thank you very much young man
Zippor: is okay;i will just go and meet my family
Mara: alright;take care(exit Zippor)thank God nothing bad happen to my sister;what would i had done?(curtain)
Ada: brother(she knock at Zuriel's door)please open the door
Zuriel: just go away;i don't want to see anyone
Ada: please;i beg you;come out;don't do this to yourself
Zuriel: alright fine;just come in
Ada: i am sorry for what Obed did
Zuriel: is okay;is not your fault(he cried)
Ada: but i felt it because you are getting hurt(enter Dedo)
Zuriel: it hurt right?when the one you love is in pain because you felt you were helping her but in a real sense;you are putting her in great danger
Ada: Zuriel;are you in love with her?
Zuriel: yes;i just couldn't help but fall in love with her
Dedo: you shameless boy;so you are in love with that girl?
Zuriel: Dedo;you are the last person,i want to see at this point,just get out
Dedo: i should get out because of that stupid girl?
Zuriel: what were you thinking going to her house and now you put her in this condition;she is now in; and for what? (he pushed her)because of me?and for that its over;just get out
Dedo: what?are you breaking up with me because of that girl?
Zuriel: yes;i havent fell in love with her before now;you all are after her,so for now;you all should do what you like because i am going to court her and and there is nothing you all can do;just get out
Dedo: Zuriel is alright,stop it,you are joking right?(she cried)
Zuriel: leave;i am not kidding(he pushed her)
Ada: that is enough,Dedo please leave
Dedo: i will leave(exit Dedo)
Ada: brother;are you still dating Dedo before now?
Zuriel: just leave me alone
Ada: brother
Zuriel: i said i want to be left alone
Ada: alright
Zuriel: better(curtain)
Katherina: Joy;what are you doing here?
Joy: i came to see you all;Lola told me,what happen to Isabella
Katherina: you wouldn't had come because brother will be mad at you
Joy: i know what i did was bad;i am really sorry(enter Zippor)
Katherina: i really dont understand you;is not your fault that;that stupid girl came to our house to fight with my sister and my father have to realised that Isabella is with us at home
Joy: yes;i am the course;i am the one that told her;Isabella is in your house
Katherina: what?(Zippor slapped her)Zippor




see more



Mara



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EPISODE 2

Dain: I see what is going on here you totally loves Isabel

Felix: what? I, uh....don't know what you're talking about

Dani: oh, come on, this is my area of expertise,did you think I wouldn't be able to tell

Felix: alright, fine yes, but it's not my dating life we should be discussing, what are you gonna do for your first date

Dani: good question, I knida got caught off guard

Felix: there's no one in town you could call up? Word is you're originally from the bay, right?

Dani: well... there is one guy, a good friend from college,mark

Mark is walking down a bustling san Francisco street with his friend, they are on their way to the muni bus station

Mark: there is not enough caffeine in the world for me right now

He finish the energy drink before tossing the empty can into the bin, his roommate, cole looks up from his phone.

Cole: you alright? You have been acting weird all morning

Mark: I didn't sleep well last night, I've got a lot on my mind

Cole: wait, is this because your college girl is back in town, the one who got away.

Mark: she's not the one who got away

Cole: riiight, you only talk about her all the time, and not in the " have you seen the latest episode of the walking dead" way in the "dear diary" I love her sooo much knida way.

Mark: I can't help it if we were close,we had some good times together

Cole: how good were these good times? Like sock on the doorknob good.

Mark: on the doorknob,on the shower handle, on the picnic table in the campus rose garden

Cole: wait, are you joking

Mark: yes, I am joking, come on cole

Cole: I don't know, maybe you were more adventurous before we met

Mark: fine, you wanna know the truth, the real one hundred percent truth?

Mark lean towards cole and he leans forward to meet mark

Mark: you're always so sure of yourself, sometimes it takes me years to even figure out if I like a girl, all I know is that she means a lot to me and her coming back is big.

Cole: should we hug, I feel like we should hug

Mark: (push him away) no, stop, get away from me

Cole: anyway, you should call her up invite her to the Double Tap for drink, meet the gang.

Mark: I dunno, I have that work thing tonight

Cole: whatever you say, man. But she's probably wondering about you as we speak

Back at Dain office

Felix: sooo...you gonna call this mark guy or what

Dani: oh,it's uh... it's just been soo long and .....

Felix: its complicated,say no more. In that case, can't you just go to a bar or something and get a guy's number? You're an expert right.

Dani: oh! Actually..I picked up a phone number at the coffee shop before work

Felix: okay, now you're making this work too easy.

Dani called evan who was very much happy to fits a date with her.
Later dani and Felix go to a small boutique just off market street

Dani: thanks for coming with me to pick out an outfit for my date tonight, I don't think you want to go shopping.

Felix: hey, I'm helping you with the research,anytime I can get out of the office and still get paid, I'm down. So where's evan taking you to

Dani: some new club...MYSTIQUE, I think it was.

Felix: MYSTIQUE, seriously? That club is impossible to get into, rumors has it the VIP lounge has an ice luge for vodka shots and it's own taco bar and last year, Dj Khaled played

Dani: you listen to dj khaled

Felix: no, I'm more of a lumiineers guy... but I recognize how big Dj khaled is. MYSTIQUE is very exclusive but you never know who you'll run into there.

Dani: in that case, i'd better look my best.

Just then a little black dress catches her eye, she run her fingers over the bright sequins

Felix: wow, if you wear that dress evan will fall all over himself trying to impress you.

Dani: I definitely have to try this on.

She try it on but was very disappointed, it was just too expose, she pick a yellow dree that was close to her and try it on, it fit perfectly, she came out to meet Felix.

Dani: actually, I think I'll go with this dress instead, the other one is very sparkly and expose

Felix: are you sure? I mean,I know I'm not very stylish but..

Dani: you don't like this one?

Felix: no, that's not what I meant I'll, uh, just defer to your judgement

Dani: I am ready for my first big date in san Francisco

The night arrive, you're waiting for evan outside MYSTIQUE

Evan: dani, over here

Dani : hey evan

Dani make her way over to her date weaving through the crowd of typical silicon valley teck workers

Dani: whoa, it's like a sea of plaid button up shirts out here.

Evan: yeah, a lot of guys come directly from work

Dani: you know them

Evan: oh, yeah Zambia rented the whole place out for the night

Dani: really, Zambia is really going all out huh!

Evan: just wait until we get inside

They both went in, in the club evan pull her close so she can hear him over the pulsing music.

Evan: let's grab a drink at the bar

Dani : okay

Dani follow evan through the dance floor to the back, suddenly she hear a familiar voice calling her name, she turn

Dani: wait, is that?

The crowd parts and a handsome guy she haven't seen in years step into light

Mark: dani

Dani: Mark

Both surprised and shock.

WHAT A BLAST FROM THE PAST INTERRUPTS DANI DATES.
HOW WILL SHE JUGGLE NEW ROMANCE AND OLD FRIENDS.

READ ON NEXT EPISODE






NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Stephanie: so where are we going
Desmond: just fellow me (they both walked into an eatery)
Stephanie: i always enjoy myself whenever am with you
Desmond: you know what?one day i will take you to the beach
Stephanie: i will not go with you
Desmond: why
Stephanie: have you forgotten am scared of water
Desmond: i remember that;that is why i want to take you there,i will also teach you how to swim
Stephanie: i will never do that
Desmond: just wait until then
Stephanie: you are crazy (she smiled)
Desmond: why are you smiling?are you going crazy?
Stephanie: i am just happy that we are still friends
Desmond: no matter what happen,we will still remain friends;right?
Stephanie: yes for sure
Desmond: come on lets go and that reminds me,i will be travelling by weekend to my dad and i am spending a week
Stephanie: whoa!so you will be gone for a week?
Desmond: yes;depending on my mom's attitude
Stephanie: am really going to missed you
Desmond: i will missed you too;extremely
Stephanie: are you sure,you are going to missed me?
Desmond: yes
Stephanie: what will you bring on your way back for me?
Desmond: what do you want?
Stephanie: anything you give me,i will accept it
Desmond: even if it is bad
Stephanie: yes;as far as it is from you and i know you will never give me anything bad
Desmond: are you sure?
Stephanie: hundred percent sure
Desmond: okay
Stephanie: thank you for taking me home and for the treat
Desmond: you welcome;anything for you
Stephanie: don't you want to come in?
Desmond: no;maybe next time
Stephanie: alright take care


Desmond: i left just some month and you have increase big time
Beauty: have you forgotten that i am done with my secondary school
Desmond: look at you?you are now a big girl that means you will soon be going to the university
Faith: Beauty
Beauty: yes mummy
Desmond: good afternoon ma
Faith: how are you my son
Desmond: am fine am;Beauty just told me that she is done with her senior secondary school
Faith: and she did not tell you that she made her waec
Desmond: come here naught girl(he hugged her) am so proud of you and i am really proud of you
Rose: mad mother and daughter;so you are here busy using your daughter to seduce my son?when your daughter becomes pregnant don't come to me because you will not get anything for me
Faith: am sorry ma;we were just telling him that Beauty passed her exam
Rose: is he her husband or her father?
Desmond: mother is alright;good afternoon ma
Rose: will you keep quiet?when i am talking don't try to stop me
Desmond: am sorry;excuse me

Rose: mark you;he has a girlfriend if you want to add yourself to it?you can do it but you will never be part of my family

Beauty: what is wrong with this woman;mom?
Faith: i don't know;just ignore her and make sure you don't go close to him

Desmond: welcome dad
Jackson: so you are back?
Desmond: yes dad
Jackson: aren't you sleeping yet
Desmond: no;i was waiting for you to come back
Jackson: really?i missed my son
Desmond: i missed you too dad(he hug him)
Rose: Jack are you back?you didn't bothered to inform me
Jackson: i am sorry;i was just carried away with my son
Rose: oh that;come on lets go inside Jackson: alright;take care son
Desmond: good night dad;excuse me also

Beauty: what are you doing in the kitchen
Desmond: i want to get a glass of juice and am just unable to sleep(phone ringing)excuse me;let me take this call
Beauty: alright
Desmond: (he pick up the call)hello Stephie
Stephanie: hi
Desmond: aren't you sleeping
Stephanie: i just had a nightmare
Desmond: about what?
Stephanie: that someone want me dead(Desmond laugh)was the laughter all about?
Desmond: is funny;who will want you dead
Stephanie: am serious;this is not the first time am having this same dream. at first it will appear as a boy but later it will change to a girl
Desmond: don't worry;when i come back we will talk about it
Stephanie: alright
Desmond: are you missing me already
Stephanie: don't be ridiculous,am not missing you
Desmond: you are and i missed you too
Stephanie: goodnight before you start irritating me
Desmond: am now irritating you
Stephanie: please good night
Desmond: alright good night(she end the call)you are crazy. am sorry i kept you standing for sometime
Beauty: is nothing;so you are still with that girl
Desmond: what girl?
Beauty: Stephanie the girl that you guys were pretending to be dating
Desmond: (he laughed)so you also know about her also?
Beauty: yes;your mom was so mad at everyone because of that girl and when she find out about the truth;she was so happy
Stephanie: was she happy that i did not disappointed her
Beauty: at first we all thought so but then we later find out that;she was happy that your wedding with Gina will push through
Desmond: what?
Beauty: asked anyone even the gardener knows
Desmond: is nothing to me
Beauty: am sorry;if i have to tell you what will hurt you
Desmond: is nothing because my mom is just wishing for something that will never happen
Beauty: what do you mean?
Desmond: never mind;i just go to bed
Beauty: alright good night

Jackson: good morning my son
Desmond: morning dad;how was your night?
Jackson: my son is all grown up;you are even asking me about my night;that means you will soon tell me you want to get married
Desmond: dad
Jackson: why are you calling me?
Desmond: is because i know where you are going to next
Jackson: fine;am not going to say anything till you are willing to tell me
Desmond: thank you;please come on time so we can have dinner together
Jackson: that reminds me;your grandpa and grandma are having dinner with us today
Desmond: mom's parents
Jackson: yes;are you not happy to see them?
Desmond: not really;you know grandpa doesn't like me,he is just like his daughter
Jackson: your mom
Desmond: yes dad
Jackson: you are crazy;he like you. he just want you to be good
Desmond: i know dad;take care
Jackson: later son

Stephanie: Chioma;hurry up;so we can go on time
Chioma: come on;is not like we are going to one important place
Stephanie: we are going to the market and to you is not important?
Chioma: yes;is it important?
Stephanie: yes now;i just want to do something
Chioma: i see;you want to get involve in one activities or the other because you just want to get your mind off him
Stephanie: off who?
Chioma: Desmond of cause
Stephanie: don't be ridiculous;he is my friend and he makes me happy;so i will missed him
Chioma: and
Stephanie: nothing
Chioma: so
Stephanie: what do you mean so;and?i don't just get you
Chioma: i mean you love him right?
Stephanie: you are crazy;i see my brother in him;i see someone i can talk to;someone that is concern about my well being;someone that is ready to stand my me;that also forgive freely;he is someone that is ready to accommodate and that is willing to take all my shortcomings and that is why if i want to fall in love;i want it to be with someone that is like him
Chioma: who?
Stephanie: Desmond
Chioma: why like him?why not him?
Stephanie: Chioma;we are friends and i am fine with that
Chioma: what if he want more than that?
Stephanie: it will not get to that extent cause i wouldn't want to get him hurt and he already have a wife
Chioma: so dating you will get him hurt?
Stephanie: yes because he will always remain a disappointment in his mom's eyes and that means the love he look for in his mother's eyes;he will never find it
Chioma: sometimes i wonder if every girl will be like you;always concern about others feelings then the world would had been a better place
Stephanie: don't be too sure that am concern about everyone feelings;am just concern about my friends
Chioma: come;shall we go



SEE MORE....


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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At the cementry [Read it]


Two boys stole mangos n ran over to a nearby cementry to share them, two manqos fell by the qate , as d were sharinq it' one for me one for you, one for me one for u. A hunter heard them n he rAn off to call a pastor to come n see God n satan sharinq the dead.. As de wen bck to the cementry, the boys were still sharinq one for me one for u' den one of the boys said hw abut those two at the qate? The pastor n d hunter rAn for their deAr lifes...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-14 15:50:24

362 Views




The amount of good luck coming your way depends on your willingness to act.

~ Barbara SherRelated

Akpors walks into a
barber shop,and
asked,”can I get a
haircut, when will you
be free?” The barber
looked around the
shop full of customers
and said, “About 2
hours.” Akpors left. A
few days later Akpors
stuck his head in the
door again and asked,
“How long before you
will be free?”, The
barber looked around
at the shop and said,
“About 3 hours.”
Akpors left.
A week later Akpors
came into the shop
and asked, “How long
before you can be
free so I can get a
haircut?”
The barber looked
around the shop and
said, “About an hour
only.” The Akpors left.
The barber turned to
a friend and said,
“Hey,Kufure, do me a
favour. Follow that
guy and see where he
goes. He keeps asking
how long he has to
wait for a haircut but
then he doesn’t ever
come back. ”
A little while later, he
returned to the shop,
laughing hysterically.
The barber asked, “So
where does that guy
go when he leaves?”
Kufure looked up,
tears in his eyes and
said, “To your wife.”
The barber fainted!
One word for Akpors
this time?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-27 21:52:09

513 Views



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