Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Our political institutions work remarkably well. They are designed to clang against each other. The noise is democracy at work.

~ Michael NovakRelated

Just because you can’t dance, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.

~AlcoholRelated

Catholic sister [Read it]


I was going to work when I saw this catholic sister waiting for a cab in the hot sun, so I decided to give her a lift to her destination. On our way I intentionally place my hand on her lap pretending to be looking for the gear. The catholic sister look at me and said 'Mattew 7 vs 7', I quickly move my hand and alter no statement. I again place my hand on her lap the second time and she repeated and said 'Mattew 7 vs 7'. I don't know what to say to this holy sister who is looking so beautiful, so I just kept silent till when she get to her destination... After when she has alight, she looks back and told me that I should go and read my bible very well. On getting home and checking my bible, it says ASK AND IT SHALL BE GIVEN UNTO YOU. See me see trouble fresh meet escape. Good morning pals..


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-09 05:59:18

474 Views



life story [Read it]


I HAD TO DO IT, GOD FORGIVE ME
I shot him with his own gun, I wanted to, I don’t regret it; I wanted him dead, I couldn’t take it anymore. I knew that this would happen one day but I told nobody. I enjoyed that moment, I enjoyed watching him die because he deserved it.My so called father. I know that you are shocked to hear me say all this, but I mean every word.
My home became a pit of hell because of him, I have two brothers, and we all hated him, because he had turned our mother into a punching bag. He disrespected her, all of us. He was beating her almost everyday. I am now 20years old, and my little brothers are still young. They know what is going on but sometimes they ignore because they have no power, but it hurts them so much.
As for me, I started witnessing this from childhood. He would beat her in front of me, I was just a little boy who couldn’t even defend himself. I would just sit at a corner and start crying. When I try to pick a phone to call my uncles, he would come to me and hit me, HARD, like I was a big person.my mother was always in fear when he was around, I could see pain in her eyes everyday. There were no good moments at all. I grew up seeing my mother’s tears almost everyday. I had no power to do anything because I was just a little boy. That’s exactly what he would call me whenever I tried to defend my mother: “LITTLE BOY’
For so many years I have witnessed the same thing.my mother would not talk to anyone about it, she would always defend him, saying that he is a good man.I would always disagree but it made no difference. I always told myself that one day I will grow up become a man who can fight for himself and his mother.my dream was to become a policeman so that I would arrest him one day.
What hurts me the most was that he was abusing my mother even in front of us children, he was abusing us mentally and my little brothers were unhappy in our house. They spent more time out, and when they came back,


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A pastor was invited to a church
program in kaduna state, wen he
got there.. Though, he wanted to
preach about Boko Haram but he
quickly put it indirectly [because
of the fear of boko haram is the
begining of wisdom] so he went
dis way. The title of my topic
today is "YOU WILL NEVER GO THE
SAME WAY U CAME". He continued
preaching And at the same time
also taking time to suspect any
poly bag he sees. Some minutes
later as the preaching was going
on what we had was
[DUAAAAAH] from outside, in a
blink of an eye, everybody
vanished including the pastor
that ran trough the window. . . .
Some minutes later after d whole
members has gathered, then the
pastor was no were to be found,
they quickly call him on phone.
Member : Hello pastor were are
you?
Pastor : Am in ORE.
Member : [surprise] ah ahhhhh
pastooor. Please come back its
not a bomb it a motor tyre that
burst outside.
Pastor : I know thats why am in
ORE if it was a bomb i would
have been at ASABA.
Member : but pastor you left
through the window, and
anyone who pass through d
window is a thief..
Pastor : what was my topic
today? Member... U WILL NEVER
GO THE SAME WAY YOU CAME.
Pastors : So i came through the
door and i left through the
window


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-31 20:53:41

612 Views




A guy and his wife are about to have sex when a bee flies
into the room. Just as she opens her legs, the bee flies into
her pussy and gets stuck. So her husband drives her to the
hospital.
The doctor says to the guy, "I have a plan but I'll only do it if
you agree to it."
The guy says "OK, as long as she is safe."
So the doctor puts some honey on his dick and sticks it into
her pussy. The guy asks "why are you doing that?" The
doctor replies "the bee will come to my dick and when it
lands, I will pull it out slowly."
"It's not coming. I better go deeper!" The doctor went deeper
and deeper. He began shafting the woman hard and seemed
to be enjoying himself. The woman began to cry loudly,
"AHH OHH AHH OHH MOTHER FUCKER! THANK YOU!" The
doctor started fucking her like crazy. "WHY THE HELL ARE
YOU DOING THAT!?" roared the husband. The doctor replied,
"Changed my mind. I'm gonna drown the bastard!!!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-05 10:30:22

2410 Views




yar wo hame bepana kar gaye,

Fir zindagi mein hamko tanha kar gaye..

Chahat thi unke ishq mein fanna hone ki,

Par woh lout kar aane ko bi mana kar gaye…Related

Humor is everywhere, in that there’s irony in just about anything a human does.

~ Bill NyeRelated

Safe cracker [Read it]


The local bank near a large prison had a problem opening their safe one day. Seems that the mechanisms working the combination failed, so they called the prison to seek help.
The prison had a convicted safe cracker in custody. They released him under guard and took him to the bank to see if he could open their safe.
The convict worked on the lock for quite a while but finally he was able to open the safe.
The bank president was delighted to see his safe opened without having to have it ruined in the process, he turned to the safe cracker and said, “Thanks for helping us out here, how much do we owe you?”
The safe cracker replied, “Well the last time I did one of these jobs I got about $100,000!”Related

child [Read it]


mum will u bear me a child nt only child mum am serious if u ar playin monday stop it i thinki i hav too byfus u mum what u ar doin to me ur children will do it to u mum dat its hw u do to ur father too abi




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-12 07:33:06

470 Views




Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend – or a meaningful day.Related

Hello! I wan to say nd wish all Nairajokes members a 
Happy Easter, may d Good Lord continue to
Repay nd bless u all 4 me!!. Tnx, ;Its ur boy 
Chizzy! (Chibuzo).


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-05 11:33:57

180 Views




THE UNDERDOG DINDY
STORY OF DINDY
THE TRUE LIFE STORY OF MY FOUR MONTHS SUCCES ON WEBSITES
Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story…
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:
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This story is a true life story of how I (DINDY A.K.A NNAMDI) grew to the level you now see, the Dindy you know now was nothing to the history of google, I was dust to life. I had no hopes in life, I had no goals, I was hopelessly hopeless with no idea where I was going or heading or landing. I had no achievement in life.
Things were all upside down for me, things were not working out for me. I do not understand my aim of existence, all my directions were pointed to the negative side of life.
Now let me take you guys back to when I was just Nnamdi by name, when I was an ordinary boy that woke up every morning angry with life and where it kept me.
…….THE STORY BEGINS……
It all really started by December 2015 when I started reading stories on WhatsApp. Deep within me; as i read the stories, i saw it was not hard writing a story –All you need are the right scenes, action and reaction, suspends –, but I never really dug into my ability fully at that time.
My first ever writing was a new years write up about 2015 and 2016 which never really went anywhere because it was only published on WhatsApp and facebook (I think). That was how my life was then but changed when January 2016 began.
In the beginning of this year (January) i was tired and frustrated of life, I had plans of entering into school for the past two years (which went by fast), but it all came to nothing.
I was so angry because I saw myself going no where in life, but one day on the third week of January everything changed for me, my talent refused to hide under my skin.
It was a normal day for me, I was sent on an errand; to look and ask for the price of an item within the area where I work –I’m still working tho, don’t stop one and loose the other you might end up regretting it, double your hustle fans–, that was where my first inspiration came from.
I watched on Tv (which was in the office I went) how a man was praised because he had money, name and power. As I kept my mind focused, it lead me to writing my first write up “POWER” and after that I wrote two more –That I can’t remember because they were formatted from the blackberry bold 2 I used to type them–, I also wrote about “A WOMEN” and some other inspirational write ups which can now be found on google (Thanks alot google!!).
I kept on writing write-ups with the blackberry bold 2 I used then and posting them on whatsapp only, until February 2016 when I decided to write my first ever story “NIGHTMARE” (which is very scary). That was how my ability to write stories came to existence.
–“My president daughter and I by Vickky vames” kinda made me understand that writing a story is not so hard (after I read it last year 2015)–.
During the time I wrote “NIGHTMARE”, I suffered headaches because I had to think deep and hard to make it as scary as it is, and also because i was working and closing late from work. People showed me love when I posted it in groups and sent it to people on whatsapp.
When one of my aunty read it, she told me that it was too deep and I should not write such a thing again, but I never stopped, I never listened to her because I knew where I was going to.
My big sis (Chioma) never for one day doubted me, she supported me from the start, my best friend (Faith) believed in me and supported me. As time went on, people from the group on whatsapp, started talking to me about the story which made me smile.
After “NIGHTMARE” I wrote “RAPE” a true life story which happened to a friend of mine, people loved the story more than “NIGHTMARE” pushing me to another level on whatsapp. I faced another set of headaches writing “RAPE”, I had to talk to the girl it happened to and then break down all that happened to her. It was one of my challenges when I started writing stories.
After I wrote “RAPE” story I started another story which was “I MISS YOU MUM”, that story was loved by few groups and people I sent it to on whatsapp, and facebook friends. It gave me hard time finishing the story because of the little time I had to write stories.
I never stop any of my ability for the other; I never stopped writing inspirational write ups for story writing. As of that time, my hands and brain were only strong enough to write only inspirational write up and stories, but I forced more on story writing –Now I can write stories, poem, write up, jokes…..anything writable..–.
Things were going fine and well for me as a junior writer but I faced challenges from people who didn’t believe in what I do, some people (in groups) didn’t like my story, some didn’t believe I wrote it myself (but I never cared).
The next story I wrote was “THE SORRY LETTER”. After I wrote that story, I wrote “THE PEN”. “THE PEN” story made people around me from my aunt who told me to stop, to my big bro who wasn’t so interested in my ability.
They all saw the creativity in me when “THE PEN” was written, I also gat alot of complement from people who read it on whatsapp –Even when I later posted it online, i got complemented on the story–, one of my friends told me that I wrote it as if I was a Pen myself, I laughed and said “Thanks”.
Posting stories (back then) on whatsapp, was very hard for me because I had many people who read it on whatsapp and I did it with a small phone.
A guy named Elvis told me to post my stories on some website, but I didn’t want to do so because I was afraid It would be stolen, and I never fully believed I could be called a writer, he also connected me to Vicky Vames who was nice and cool (unlike me who is crazy and over crazy).
Vickky Vames gave me advice on how to write and post stories online (which I kinda knew already), and also told me where I could post my stories. –It helped me kinda when I started posting stories on different websites.–
After two months later, my brain and ability started expanding widely, increasing my knowledge in writing bit by bit.
A guy, who usually post stories in groups (i was in), asked me where I got my stories from, I told him that I wrote them myself but he doubted me highly and laughed. I cared less of how he reacted because I knew I was the main man behind the story.
The month of june came and I entered into another up coming writer level, but still haven’t posted my works on websites, I wrote a story titled “ANGLES”. The story made people fear me, some said I wrote it like I was really an Angel myself –Well maybe I am –.
Days later the same guy asked me whether he could post one of my stories on a popular website, I accepted, but I told him that i should be given the credit for it. –The guy posted it but did otherwise, will tell you guys how it went as we go further into the story.–
The month of July came, and that was when my four months of intense hustling online started, that was when I made up my mind to be on many websites as I could, just to avoid my works from being stolen.
the month of July, made me happy because I got my first “hello” on whatsapp, from a fan that got my number on a website I posted my stories. I was very happy and excited, me an ordinary boy having fans, it was something I never imagined not even for once.
The month of July was the beginning of stress and success online (I guess), the speed at which I wrote stories increased so did my fans, i got love from many fans and people around, especially my big sis and my best friend.
At that time i was just posting in two websites, which was not easy for me. I posted so fast that some of my fans were not able to keep up with the speed I posted.
One day in the month of July, a website owner told me that he would love for my stories to be shared on his site, I agreed willing because I never expected such a thing to happen in my life, me a boy that had nothing at all to hope for.
There came a day, I was searching on google for my stories, then i saw one of my stories.
–I do it time to time to know my status on google, and to also know the people stealing my stories, if you are one of them, beware I’m coming for you–.
When I opened the website it was linked to, I saw the name of the guy who I asked for my permission to post one of my stories months ago, I was very angry with him because he lied to the viewers who read it that he was the writer, trust me now, I expressed my anger to him and he said “SORRY”.
After the month of July, i decided to start sharing my stories more and more, I wanted more readers, which lead to another level of my writing and serious hard stress and headaches.
–Each time I write a stories or inspirational write ups or jokes, I end up having headaches, due to the intense thinking I put myself into. So please guys stop stealing my works because it took me time, pain and caused me headaches to write them. I go through all this stress because of you guys, not because of money (no one gives me money for my works, I goto work everyday to get money). Please try and appreciate what I do.–
–If you like, keep stealing my works, but don’t say I did not warn you, my hands are clean if anything happens to you.–
The month of August was more stressful because I took a break from writing stories, and forced heavily on posting my inspirational write ups, which leveled me up the bar of google and it made me more known. Headaches was at its peak because I was on 7 website posting and inspiring people with my write ups. I really went through heavy pains in my head, creating pictures for my write ups, and for written/unwritten stories.
Some people asked me how I got time to write all I wrote, I simply told them that I write with any little time I have –like seriously, I write anytime I’m free, like at home, in the office, in a bus or keke or car. Even when you see me, you won’t know it’s me—.
The month of August went with its stress, but it increased in the month of September. I edited some of my works, after being advised severely, when i posted it in a website I newly discovered.
I faced challenges, especially on facebook, when I asked some page admins to help me post my works, some accepted while some declined.
All the challenges I faced never brought me down, instead it made me discover another talent hidden in me and it also helped me improved very well, I started writing jokes –Story of my life; from write ups to story writing from that to jokes, to make am no easy–.
The jokes I wrote brought more fans for me and it also pushed me up the underdog ladder, I became popular (kinda) for my jokes. Although most people called my jokes lame and dry, I ignored them because i believed what will make A-Y laugh might not make Z laugh, and what will make Z laugh might not make A-Y laugh.
Now this present month of october, Dindy has become what you could call a post addict.
I now have reasons why I wake up, write, and post each day. I and my works can now be found on google –My people it’s the lord’s doing–.
I now can promote website, music, goods, people, in fact anything. I also help people to post their works.
Although I faced challenge in the beginning of this month, when I posted some of my new works on a website. My works were all thrown into trash.
When I saw it, I didn’t feel bad, instead I was like “I guess they don’t like the stories and jokes”.
It never bordered me in any way because I know that some day it won’t be trash any more.
I am still an underdog in the writing world, but I know bit by bit I will get there, what I need to have is patient –learn to be patient FANS–.
I am still working, hustling, carrying heavy things somewhere in lagos-Ikeja –Won’t tell you where, I don’t want someone to come to my shop and say “I’m looking for Dindy”, ehn my boss will kill me!!.#najoke–.
I wrote this story not because I wanna show off, but to inspire you, yes I mean you the reader, if I DINDY can move this far under the space of little time you can also do the same.
SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE WEBSITES WHO SUPPORTED ME HIGHLY.
SHOUTOUT TO;
– Mr Naira Jokes.
– Mr Cool-Val.
– Mr AY.
– Mr More-Gist.
– Mr/Mrs Focuswap (I don’t know which one you are oo).
– Mr Naira-Land
– Mr Naija-Stories
– Facebook and every Page on Facebook that posted my works.
– My Sis (CHIOMA), Aunty (IFY), Friends and Best Friend (FAITH).
– All my fans for helping, supporting and loving me and my works.
Shout out to Microsoft for building an awesome windows phone, I love you guys!!!!.
Shout out to google for making me visible to the world, thanks alot google!!!.
I know some people will still complain about what I wrote, they will say “This boy is such a show off”, but I didn’t write this to show off in any way.
I wrote it to inspire other writers like me, I want them to believe in anything they do, I want them to never give up in life no matter what.
If DINDY can come this far within a short period of time, you can also do so, never ever stop doing what you are good at no matter what, no matter how people try to discourage you, NEVER GIVE UP………THE END…..BUT THE STORY CONTINUES IN REAL LIFE……MUCH LOVE FROM THE UNDERDOG DINDY AKA NNAMDI
If you wanna read any of my works online, you can simply search it on google, by writing “story by Dindy” or “write up by Dindy” or “jokes by Dindy”… You can call me CEO DINDY THE UNDERDOG…..[laughs]...
BELIEVE IN GOD AND YOU SHALL INCREASE ON EVERY SIDE=> GOD MADE DINDY!!.
STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected] Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi







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Organization



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I put my hand round her waist,caressing
it gently,she looked at me with a surprise
"what are you doing" she asked,i hold
back my hand slowly "sorry" i said with
a smile trying to make it seen like a
mistake, she turned and continue with her
movie,first move mission not accomplish,
i know that i need to try harder, i look
at her again, her delicate hips trill me,
i tryed holding myself but my body is really
shouting for an urgent help,i move a little bit
closer to her,she shift her body to the edge of
the bed obviously I think she already knows
what I want to do,i move closer to her again
and put my hand round her waist hoping she
will let me have my way but she angryly push
my hands again and sit up "what is it" she
said looking upset,i could feel the tremor
in her voice, i know now that I need to do
something to put the situation under control,
i held her on her lap looking like a two
year old child who what candy from his mother,
"lmade i don't know how to say this but the
truth is that I love you and...." "oh please
stop it " she interrupted "i love you yes
but as a friend, i am not ready for any
relationship now not even talking about
sex " she spoke with an angry tone,i quickly
sat up trying to clam her down,i tryed talking
sense into her but she refused to listen
she came down from the bed telling me
she want to take her leave,i got up and
tryed to beg her to stay but she didn't
feel like to any more, i know this is my
only chance i might not have this opportunity
again,my friends are expecting to hear good
results and i must give it to them even if
it means froceing my self on her,i push her
back on the bed,she looks scared "look i don't
want to froce you but you really have to do
this willingly", she got up and knee down on
the bed pleading with me to let her go,her
tear was really affecting me and i wanted
to let her go but I really need to convert
the chill in my body,i seized her hand on
the bed,and began to kiss her on the neck,
sexual urge now darts across my body at
that point I know nothing can deprived me
from getting what I want,not even her screaming
or her pleading,she tryed struggling but i
over powered her,i successed in pulling off
her trouser and also opening my belt and the
zip of my trouser,her strength now seems
to intensify,i clutch at her panties,she pushes
me roughly but I till maintain my position on
top of her,i place my hand under her top allowing
me to have asset to her b****t holding her two
hands with just one of my hand, she keep pleading
but it fall on deaf ears for i was so close and
nothing will make me stop,i was not longer
thinking straight my mind was fitted on the
jod i was doing, i began to s**k her b****the,
it felt so good,i opened her legs granting me
the asset to be at the middle of her leg,
i pull my trouser down to allow my d**k get
his freedom, i tryed to go into her,i felt
a painful pierce on my head,"ahhhh"my voice
break out,i place my hand on the positive
i felt the pain,or my God I am bleeding,
that was when I saw the bottle of drink
in her hand,she had use the bottle to hit
me on my head,i fall form the bed trying to
stand up,i feel weak as I grab where she hit
me,i fall on the ground,i heard her calling
my name and i blank out. ....

To Be Continued

>>

Dam fish [Read it]


A boy is selling fish on a corner.
To get his customers' attention,
he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale!
Get your dam fish here!" A pastor
hears this and asks, "Why are you
calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy
responds, "Because I caught
these fish at the local dam." The
pastor buys a couple fish, takes
them home to his wife, and asks
her to cook the dam fish. The
wife responds surprised, "I
didn't know it was acceptable for
a preacher to speak that way." He
explains to her why they are dam
fish. Later at the dinner table, he
asks his son to pass the dam fish.
He responds, "That's the spirit,
Dad! Now pass the f*cking
potatoes!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-05 22:52:30

322 Views




As a painless way to save money, a young couple arranged that every time
they have sex, the husband put his pocket change into a china piggy
bank on the bedside table.
One night, while being unusually athletic, he accidentally knocked the
bank to the floor where it smashed.

To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there were handfuls of five
and ten dollar bills.
He asks his wife what's up.
"Well," she replied, "not everyone is as cheap as you are."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-19 08:28:33

484 Views




Akpos was in a resturant, when suddenly a rich politician came in and said "Saleman! Give everybody as much food as they can eat and pass me the bill".
Akpos shouted "O BOY! see opportunity", he rushed out and rturned back lhr later.
He entered the returant and met only the saleman parking, fear grip him.
Akpos: Why is everywher dry? Where... where.. where are others?
Saleman: They have all gone.
Akpos: Anyway, just bring one cooler of fried rice and 3 full chicken let me be downloading it as u park.
Saleman: but sir where went you since.
Akpos: i rushed home to tell my wife to minus 3 cups of Eba "Garri" while preparing dinner since i wont join them.
Saleman: YOU MUST BE A FOOL! the food has finished.
Akpos shouted "Chai!" Am really a fool o o o. I shouldn`t have even went to toilet.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-08 17:17:43

17122 Views




Heliophobia is the fear of sunlight.Related

A king wants his daughter to have a husband so he puts up a flier.
The first guy comes and the king puts green glitter on his daughters private part.
The next morning the king checks the guys private part and there`s green glitter all over it.
More and more guys come along and the same thing keeps happening.
Finally, one day Akpos comes along. The king puts the green glitter on his daughters private part, and the next morning checks Akpos privates and there was no green glitter. The king was glad and offers Akpos his daughters hand in marriage. Akpos smiles to accept the offer with a mouth full of green glitter. The kind fainted



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-25 20:07:59

3313 Views



The wise man [Read it]


A man was going through a forest. He was tired and sat under a tree to rest.

Near the tree were some bushes. In the bushes he heard a whistle. The man got up and went to look. He saw a bottle lying under a bush. The whistle was coming from inside the bottle.

The man opened the bottle to look inside. Immediately a lot of black smoke came out from the bottle. The smoke rose high in the sky. Then the smoke turned into a ghost. It was a big ghost, as tall as a tree.

The ghost was red in colour. He had red eyes, and large golden earrings in his ears. He roared, “Give me some work or I shall eat you up.” The man was very frightened. “W-what sort of work do you want ?” he asked the ghost.

“Any kind of work,” the ghost replied. “You have let me out from the bottle, so you have to give me work to do. I must keep working, day and night. The moment you stop giving me work, I shall eat you up.”

“Take me to my house,” the man said. The ghost picked up the man. In half a second he reached the man’s house. Again he said, “Give me some work to do or I shall eat you up.” “Make me a big palace,” the man said.

In a few minutes the palace was ready. The ghost again said loudly, “Give me some work or I shall eat you up.”

“Get me plenty of gold and jewels,” the man said. Soon the gold and jewels were there. “Give me some work or I shall eat you up,” the ghost said.

“Get me nice clothes to wear.” At once the ghost brought the clothes. “Give me some work or I shall eat you up,” the ghost said.

“Get me some food.” In a second the man found the table loaded with delicious food. He tried to eat, but he got no time. The ghost again said, “Give me some work or I shall eat you up.”

The man kept on giving work to the ghost. He could not eat at all. When night came the ghost would not let him sleep. “Give me some work or I shall eat you up,” he said.

The man got very worried. How could he eat ? How could he sleep? If he did not find more and more work, the ghost would eat him up.

Then the man had an idea. He told the ghost, “Make me a tall pillar, as high as the sky. And be quick.”

In just a few minutes the ghost was back. “The pillar is ready,” he said. “Now give me some work or I shall eat you up.”

“Now listen carefully,” the man said. “Climb up the pillar till you reach the top. Then climb down till you reach the earth. Then climb up to the top and come down again. Keep on doing so till I tell you to stop. And mind you don’t waste anytime.”

The ghost was very happy, for he now had plenty to do. He went up the pillar, came down, went up, came down. He went on doing so.

The man watched for some time. Then he went inside and ate the food the ghost had brought. After that he went off to sleep.

Next morning he got up and went outside. He saw the ghost going up and down the pillar all the time. The man was very happy.

Many days passed. The ghost kept on going up and down the pillar. At the end of a month he was still doing it. He now felt a little tired. “Please sir,” he said to the man, “may I stop now ? I have been going up and down the pillar for a month.”

“How can you stop ?” the man said. “You cannot stop till I tell you. So keep on going up and down the pillar.”

Another three months passed. Now the ghost was really tired. “Sir,” he said, “I can’t do it any more. I must stop now.”

“You can stop on one condition,” the man said. You must go away from here, and never come back.”

“I promise,” the ghost said.

“Very well, you may stop now. And take away that pillar with you.”

The ghost picked up the pillar and ran away. The man never saw him again.


Please One word for this man


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-28 15:21:36

16010 Views




Arnold Sommerfield, a theoretical physicist, was doctoral supervisor to 4 physicists who went on to win Nobel Prizes in physics, and academic supervisor to 2 others who also won. He himself was nominated 81 times.

Despite of his hard work, he was never able to achieve the big prize, and hence, died without a Nobel Prize.Related

Broccoli: I’s not happy with my looks, I look like a BRAIN.

Mushroom: That’s not too bad, I look like an Umbrella.

Banana: Can We Please Change the topic?Related

MY AWKWARD DAY. [Read it]


I was in Mr Biggs yesterday when I suddenly realized I
desperately needed to mess, They were playing Don Jazzy’s
Dorobucci. The music was really really loud, so I timed my
mess with the beat of the music. I was releasing my mess
alongside the music so that nobody would hear the sound of
the mess although the mess was very loud too. When I
finished, I started to feel better but I looked around and
noticed that everybody in the restaurant frowned and was
staring at me….. Why? Then I suddenly remembered that I
was listening to the music with my ear-phone. I almost
fainted!!!
From Necs.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-06 23:50:41

480 Views




If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.Related

I Was Invited By My Friend To His Church, When I Got There The Usher Direct Me To The Front Site So After Preaching It Was Time For Offring As The Offring Basket Was Passing On I Put My Hand In Pocket And Remove N50 For Offring, I Don't Know That The Man Who Was Standing Beside Me Saw The N50 I Was Putting In Offring Basket The Man Now Gave Me N1000 I Was Thinking Whether The Man Just Give Me For Other Offring, Thank You Sir I Said, Dancing And Rejoicing I Put That N1000 Again The Man Now Said My Brother Don't Just Bother To Thank Me The Money Just Fell From You Pocket Now. Waaaaaaa Li See Peke Usher Please Come Back Wrong Transaction You Just Take Way Now..........


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-07 00:12:37

475 Views




I’m currently fasting to protest hunger strikes.Related

Steve Jobs’ first business was actually selling blue boxes that would allow users to get free phone service illegally.Related

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.

~ Nelson MandelaRelated

Make sure what you do is a product of your own conclusion.

~ Jim RohnRelated


Read, laugh and enjoy
This Lagos sef don tire me.
Jeje I was sitting in my car on a very
long fuel queue from the Mobil in
Maryland. This queue was almost
getting to Anthony bus stop. It was one
of those days where there was no fuel
at all.
Suddenly ooo, na him I see one guy run
past my car with jerry can in one hand
shouting,
"Won ti bereoooooo"
I quickly jumped out of my car, opened
my booth, got my jerry can and ran
after him. He kept on running towards
Maryland.
When he got to the filling station he
shouted again, "Won ti bere oooo" This
in yoruba actually means, "They have
started oooooo"
He ran past the filling station and
headed towards Sheraton hotel.
Those that know this area will
understand the distance. I tried to run
faster to catch up and ask, "Kini won
bere??", meaning "what have they
started?" But this boy ran faster.
I looked back and saw 6 people had
joined us, each with jerry can in one
hand.
We continued past Sheraton and
headed towards Ikeja bus stop. When
we got to Ikeja bus stop, he shouted
again, "Wonti bere oooooo" ....and
continued running.
We all continued too asking each other
wetin happen but nobody seemed to
know as we chased after him.
Finally we got to oshodi isale and he
shouted again. By this time we were
like 30 people running after him, each
of us with jerry can in one hand. He
shouted again, "Won ti bere oooooo!!!!!!"
He continued running towards iyana
Isolo and finally after getting to iyana
Isolo, he stopped and we were all
gasping for breath, both men and
women some with pot bellies. I moved
close to him and asked, "Kini won
bere??"
He answered, "Chelsea ati Arsenal ni,
won ti bere match!!" I fainted.
If na you wetin you go do??


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-24 10:43:08

646 Views




An American man walked into a restaurant in
London. As soon as he entered, he noticed an
African man sitting in the corner. So he walked
over to the counter, removed his wallet and
shouted, "Waiter! I am buying food for
everyone in this restaurant, except that black
African guy over there!"
So the waiter collected the money from the
man and began serving free food to everyone
in the restaurant, except the African.
However,insteadof becoming upset, the
African simply looked up at the American and
shouted, "Thank you!" That infuriated the man.
So once again, the American took out his
wallet and shouted, "Waiter! This time I am
buying bottles of wine and additional food for
everyone in this bar, except for that African
sitting in the corner over there!" So the waiter
collected the money from the man and began
serving free food and wine to everyone in the
bar except the African.
When the waiter finished serving the food and
drinks, once again, instead of becoming angry,
the African simply smiled at the American man
and shouted, "Thank you!" That made the
American man furious. So he leaned over on
the counter and said to the waiter, "What is
wrong with that African man? I have bought
food and drinks for everyone in this bar except
for him, but instead of becoming angry, he just
sits there and smiles at me and shouts 'Thank
you.' Is he mad" The waiter smiled at the
American and said, "No, he is not mad. He is
the OWNER of this restaurant.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-04 22:06:15

538 Views



Wi-Fi [Read it]


A girl started noticing a guy who stands in
front of her home everyday in the
evening.
She noticed the guy always comes mostly
in the evenings and weekends.
The guy never tried to talk to her nor
showed any gesture, he just moves here
and there by looking into his mobile
phone and occasionally stealing a stare at
her.
It went on like that for a year and the girl
understood the guy was in love with her
but was too shy to express his feelings.
So, she told her parents. They too saw
him and liked him. They discussed with
her grandparents about a likely marriage.
But wanted her to make the first move.
The next day, she went to him and said,
Hi. I'm Jada.
He said, Hi. I'm Smith.
Hearing this, the girl was very happy as
the names were matching like Will Smith
and Jada Pinkett.
The girl went on and said, I really
appreciate your patience and decency.
You have been standing in front of my
home everyday for about a year now.
So, I understand that you are in love with
me but too shy to say it.
I think i really like you too and would love
it if we get married.
The guy smiled and said, Forgive me
sister!
Actually your home's WI-FI doesn't have a
password.
So, i come here every evening after work
to use free wi-fi to chat with my girlfriend!

don't laff alone, pls share with someone!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-14 20:43:01

957 Views




Two types of people who can’t sleep early at night:

1. Those who are in love

2. Those who have good internet connectionRelated

“Kuch Is Tarah Se Dekha Ke. “

Usne Mujhe Kuch Is Tarah Se Dekha Ke Me Use

Mohobbat Karne Pe Majboor Ho Gaya,

Uske Ek Ishare Pe Duniya Tabha Karne Pe Majboor Ho Gaya,

Uske Is Nazariye Ko Me Pyaar Samajh Betha,

Isiliye Aaj Use Bewafa Kehne Pe Majboor Ho Gaya.Related

please where do you think this bride is from








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-05 09:06:39

532 Views




1) You can GET chocolate.
2) “If you love me you`ll swallow that” has real meaning with chocolate.
3) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4) You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
5) You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6) You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
7) If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won`t mind.
8) Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
9) The word “commitment” doesn`t scare off chocolate.
10) You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers.
11)
You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped. 12) You don`t get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
13) With chocolate there`s no need to fake it.
14) Chocolate doesn`t make you pregnant.
15) You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
16) Good chocolate is easy to find.
17) You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
18) You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
19) When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.
20) With chocolate size doesn`t matter.Related

A female class teacher was having a problem with a
boy in her class in 3rd grade. The boy said "Madam, i
should be in 4th grade, i'm smarter than my sister
and
she's in 4th grade".
The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to
the
principal. The principal decided to test the boy with
some
questions from 4th grade
Principal: What is 3+3
Boy: 6
Principal: 6+6
Boy: 12 The boy got all questions right.
The principal then told the Madam to send the boy to
4th grade immediately.
Madam decided to ask her questions and the
principal
agreed.
Madam: What does a cow have 4 of,that i've only 2
Boy: Legs
Madam: What is in your pants that i don't have
Boy: pockets
Madam: What starts wit a C and ends with T, is hairy,
oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid
Boy: Coconut Madam: What goes in hard and then
comes out soft
and sticky
(The principal's eyes open really wide,but before he
could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge)
Boy: Bubble gum
Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me
down to get me up, I get wet before you do
Boy: Tent
(The principal was looking restless)
Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me
when
you are bored. The best man always has me first
Boy: Wedding ring Madam: I come in many sizes.
When i'm not well, i
drip. When you blow me,you feel good
Boy: Nose
Madam: I've a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates,I come
with a quiver
Boy: Arrow, principal: jesus, Madam: What starts
with 'F' and ends wit a 'K' and if
you don't get it, you've to use your hand
Boy: Fork
Madam: What is it that all men have, it's longer in
some men than others,the Pope doesn't use his and
a
man gives it to his wife after marriage
Boy: surname,
principal: chinekemeee,
Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has
muscles with a lot of veins like pumpkin and is
responsible for making love
Boy: Heart,
principal : ehhhhh,
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the
Madam 'Send this BLOODY boy to the University...ev
en i
myself got all answers wrong! Lolzzzzzzzzz


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-30 12:22:02

812 Views





Amara was discharged,after a week chidi was also discharge but was till on medication, Mr and Mrs uche tried and apologies to amara but amara refused to have anything to do with them,she was till angry with them because she blame them for everything she has went through even chidi tried to interfer but nothing happened her mind was made up,it was just two days after amara was discharge that Sandra gave birth to a baby boy,sandra and emman was fill with joy,chidi later celebrate with them as soon as he was also discharge, mrs ada Marcus meet up with chidi and amara apologising for what ever maxwell and she has done to them,and beg them to see maxwell because he was requesting for them,amara forgave her but refused to see maxwell, chidi felt pity for maxwell in as much that he hated him he till feel amara should grant his wish ,he pleased with amara to go and see maxwell, amare agreed after enough pleading from chidi,chidi wasn't feeling that strong but he till followed amara even when amara told him not to because the doctor advice him not to stress himself too much but he till insisted.

They both arrived at the police station and was directed to a small room where they sat and wait for maxwell, not up to five minutes they sat down maxwell was brought in by a police man,amare was fill with anger when she saw maxwell, maxwell on the other hand was happy to see her,the police remove the handcuffs from his hand and he sat down,the police left afterward.

Maxwell :hi amara

Amara stood up and gave him a slap

Amara :how dare you call my name after all what you did to me.

She wanted to slap him again but chidi quickly got up and prevented her from doing so,immediately she began to cry.

Amara :you monster, i hate you with so much passion, i pray you die here.

Maxwell couldn't hold back the tear in his eyes he let it out,he knew the hatred she felt for him,he went on his knees at once.

Maxwell :Amara please forgive me for all i have done,it was because I was jealous that's why I did all what I did,please forgive me,i didn't mean any of this to happen.

Amara :really, so I meant it to happen, maxwell how could you,tell me.

Maxwell :please i know i can never heal the pain i have caused you and i have accepted my mistakes and am pleading with you to have mercy on me,i know you have a kind heart and a good one,please Chidi forgive me for my troubles.

Chidi gave a deep breath

Maxwell :i was so blinded with darkness but now I realise my mistake, my sorry cannot change what I have done but your forgiveness will bring my soul at rest,i don't know what fate holds for me when am finally get my sentence, i might die there but if i die i want to die in peace, please find a place in your heart to forgive me.

Amara :we were good friends, you were so sweet and nice,each time I remember how good you were to me it hurts me,you used me maxwell.

Chidi sat down,he was touched by maxwell words,

Maxwell :am sorry Amara, i never meant to do all of those things,please i promise I will never hurt you again, please.

This was one of the hardest decision she was about to make,she was so confused, is maxwell for real,she looked into his eyes and saw the sincerity in his eyes,she looked at chidi who gave her a smile she knew what it meant.

Amara :i forgive you.

Maxwell was feel with relieved, he was happy inside of him.

Maxwell :thank you very much, thank you,chidi.

Chidi :i have nothing against you,the only problem i had with you was because of amara, now that she has forgiven you i have no problem with you but the important thing now is for you not to hurt her again.

Maxwell :never again will that repeat itself, you guys don't know what you have done for me,thank you.

Amara went to meet him,took his hand and help him to his feet then embrace him.

Maxwell :am sorry

Amara :it's okey,

After that she returned to her sit while maxwell sat down,there were smiles on their faces,Amara and chidi later left after they had all chatted and made up with eachother, maxwell was now happy with himself,now he look forward to the day he will appear in court.

Amara was now staying in the Jonathan's mansion, she has been accepted into the family and was loved by mrs Jonathan, they were always seen together around the house and Mrs Jonathan has introduced her to most of her friends as her daughter inlaw, chidi was happy that all the trouble from his mother has ended,dora has left nigeria even before chidi and amara incident happened but she never fails to call to check up on them.

Amara was in her room when chidi opened the day and went in,mrs Jonathan refused them to stay in one room that it was wrong because they wasn't couples yet.chidi walk to her smiling which she smiled back.

Chidi:hello sweet

He kissed her

Chidi:my parents want to see you.

Amara :where are they.

Chidi:down stair.

Amara key

She wasn't surprised because this wasn't the first time they were requesting for her present, she got up and followed chidi,they got to the sitting room and she was surprise to see her parents sitted with mr and Mrs Jonathan ,as soon as mrs uche saw her she stood up.

Amara :mama,papa,what are you doing here.

Mr Jonathan :they came to meet us apologising and begging to see you,i couldn't refuse they, i mean they are till your parents no matter what,let the past be the past.

Mr uche :Amara my daughter, we know we misjudged everything that has happened to you but we are very sorry for everything, we were so wrong to put our interest first before your feelings, please forgive us.

Mrs uche was already crying

Mrs uche :my daughter, i know i have failed in my part as a mother,and you are angry with us but please forgive us,please.

Just then amara tear dropped,she knew they have done her wrong but if she could forgive maxwell and his mother what will be too hard to forgive her own parents.

Amara : papa, mama

She went and embrace her mother, Mr uche got up and she also embrace him,Mr and Mrs Jonathan was happy, chidi wasn't left out of the excitement, now peace is in her family, they have finally united.

Chidi later pleased with his father to dorp the charges against maxwell, his father refused at first but later accepted, after all it was his son decision and he will respect that,maxwell was released even before he went to court,maxwell was surprise at the same time greatful for what chidi did for him,maxwell family was very happy to have him back and they also thanked chidi for what he did,maxwell went back to UK,he felt it was better for him to go so that he will start up a new life there, Amara wanted him to stay but he just couldn't because he till feel the guilt anything he saw amara,it was because of his mistake that made him lost his first seek,which he isn't sure if he would forgive himself for that,after a week of his release he travelled back to UK.

Chidi relocate Mr and Mrs uche to a new house which he brought for them,in not less them a month Amara and chidi got married,their wedding was one of the best in town,many politicians,business moguls,top men in the society, the wealthy sons and daughters were not left out,that was the happiest day of Amara life,sandra was there for amara all through that day,emman too was chidi back bone that very day,after their wadding they traveled to dubai for their honey moon then later went to London where chidi bought a house, that was were he want to start his family and he promise to be a good father and husband, they lived their live in peace and wait hopefully for not just a child but children.

MORAL LESSONS.
1)you cannot force love,love is something that comes from the heart,if you try to force it on someone you will end up getting hurt.

2)Always try to fight for what you believe in,ever if it means you loosing your life try to make it work for you no matter what.

3)Always forgive people that hurt or wrong you not matter what he or she did to you, when they apologies try and let your anger go so that God our father will forgive you for your own sins.

4)don't judge people because of their attitude instead try to look for the good in them.

5)Don't try to change what God has ordina for someone because God spoken words cannot be unspoken, so be wish not to fight against God wishes for someone.

6)don't get jealous over the happiness of someone even if you are hurt with it try not to get affected by it because jealousy can drive you to do the unthinkable which in return can destroy your own future.

This is all I can point out,if you readers have also learn something from the story you should can point it out.

I hope this story teaches us something and we should try and work on whatever we have learned,let's us please be wise.....

THE END...





NAIRAJOKES.COM




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My girlfriend invited me to
her
house, but I found her sister
alone in the house, wearing
nothing lying on the sofa she
was unbelievably sexy.
she whispered in my ear: "I
have feelings for you, shall
we
have sex?"
I immediately turned
around and walked to the
front door to get the condom
i kept inside my car, I found
my girlfriend
and my entire "future family"
standing
outside, clapping Thier
hands
with tears in thier eyes.
My girlfriend's father hugged
me and said: "we are very
happy that you have passed
our little test, we couldn't
have
asked for a better man for
our daughter,
You've won my trust.
welcome
to the family" #CTB



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-10 13:26:04

1318 Views




Funny!!! If you were asked to get married at the age of the last 2 digits of your phone number, At what age will it be for you to get married? Mine will be 65 years.#AoN







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-09 12:53:10

276 Views



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