Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:

Funny man [Read it]


A man fainted outside Mr. Biggs (an eatery). Soon a crowd gathered around him and someone suggested, “Give him some water, it will help.” Hearing this, the man opened one eye and said, “Commot from here, if na water I wan drink, I for go faint for DAM na


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-10 15:50:08

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A business that makes nothing but money is a poor business.

~ Henry FordRelated

6:50pm
I was in my sitting room eating banana and groundnut
with my eyes on the television set when my door bell
rang, notifying me of Anita’s presence.I glanced at the wall clock, smiled and headed to the door which i
quickly opened.
“wow look at you?. Good evening” she greeted sweetly,
came forward and hugged me. Her succulent bosoms
crushed on my chest instantly arousing my sexual urge.
“i really missed you. Just look at how good and beautiful you smell” I whispered softly, laughed and let
her into my apartment. She quickly sat on the chair i
just vacated, dropped her handbag and began eating
the remaining banana i left behind.
“hmmm yummy” she nodded carefreely while i
laughed. She just was the perfect company i needed, so carefree, sexy and naughty.
Staring at her with a smile i couldn’t help but think of
sex. She was extremely attractive with her provocative
attire. A pink singlet which showcased her front
mechandize and blue jacket which hid her shoulders,
plus a very tight fitting trouser which displayed her as.s like a showcase.
“yea she definitely is pretty. But who knows the number
of guys in her list. Perhaps i’m number five” i reasoned
with good humour.
“so you just gonna stand there and keep smiling
cluelessly huh. So you won’t be taking me out?” she asked playfully. I drew close and sat by her side.
“no i just want to be alone with you. Hope i’m not being
selfish?” i asked with a quiet smile. She shrugged and
rolled her eyes.
“i have a good soup in the kitchen. I hope you won’t
mind getting it ready?” i slowly asked. She hissed with a frown, stood up, pulled up her trouser from behind and
eyed me once again.
“you too dey dull person. Must i serve you all the time?.
Abeg make we go kitchen jor” she said with her usual
half serious, half playful voice. I stood up, cracked a silly
joke and dragged her to the kitchen. ____
We had a very quite meal together. Though I did most
of the talking while she listened, smiled and
contributed little.
An hour later, i took a quick bath before she took a long
one. She finally came out from the bathroom unclad to join
me in the bedroom where i was waiting for her
wearing only my knicker.
“so how do you want this night to be?” she asked as she
stood facing me, rubbing a sweet smelling cream over
her body. I swallowed hard, flung away my knicker and stared at her hungrily. She really knew how to make my
spirit very high.
“so how about the phone you promised me?” she
suddenly asked, slightly killing my spirit with the
question. I thought fast and scratched my head, while
she quickly joined me on the bed, grabbed my joystick, tapped its tip twice before wrapping her warm mouth
over it. I instantly saw myself in paradise.
“your visit was a bit unexpected but i’ll will give you the
money first thing tomorrow” i managed to say with
eyes closed.
She quickly turned, slowly sat on my chest, Her mouth still on me sending me into the deepest ocean of
pleasure.
Oh the pretty hot damsel was nothing but an original
sex machine, too hot to be anyone’s girlfriend or wife.
At least until she gets to Mary’s age and becomes a
born-again christian.

>>

fooled husband [Read it]


A man gets home early from work and hears
strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes
upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and
panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack,"
cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone
for ambulance, but just as he's dialling, his 4-year-old son
comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Fred is hiding in
your closet and he's got no clothes on!" The man slams the
phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his
screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure
enough, there is his brother, totally naked, covering on the
closet floor. "You idiot!" the man says, "My wife is having a
heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the
kids
PLS ONE WORD FOR THE HUSBAND.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-02 15:07:23

795 Views




JOKE PART 48 BY DINDY
Girl: What are the things that stand between you and complete happiness.
Dindy: You guess.
Girl: Ok, work?.
Dindy: No.
Girl: Money?.
Dindy: No.
Girl: Life?.
Dindy: No.
Girl: Family?.
Dindy: No.
Girl: Then what is it?
Dindy: Your face.............
DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 49.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-11-13 23:02:58

132 Views




Vina: if you say so
Stephanie: i said so my lovely sister
Vina: since you left for school,you haven't return home. so when are you coming home
Stephanie: i will come by next week because i missed home made food
Vina: are you serious?
Stephanie: yes
Vina: alright my baby;how is Anita?
Stephanie: she is fine and she is also here
Vina: alright;greet her;you too should take care of yourself
Stephanie: we will
Vina: and always remember we love you from our heart
Stephanie: i love you all also
Vina: bye sweetie(she cut the phone)
Stephanie: bye
Anita: hmm
Stephanie: was hmm
Anita: so you are leaving by next week
Stephanie: i haven't really conclude
Anita: i know whenever you open your mouth to say something;you always have to act on it
Stephanie: young lady;don't start;was going on?
Anita: with what?
Stephanie: with the movie;what else will i be asking about?
Anita: its getting interesting
Stephanie: increase the volume;i am done with my call
Anita: i thought you said if i had ear problem
Stephanie: leave that issue and increase the volume my friend
(at Desmond's apartment)
Alfred: my friend;am really going to miss you
Desmond: and i will missed you also
Alfred: is like you were dying to go home before now
Desmond: i really wanted to go home before now but the thought of my mother is making me feel uneasy going home(he try to make a call)
Alfred: i understand you man but is she not sending your driver to pick you up this time
Desmond: i don't know but if she doesn't i will be happy(she try again)
Alfred: it seems like you are trying to call somebody
Desmond: yes;i am trying to call Stephanie to tell her;i am travelling but the number is not going through
Alfred: then go to her house before you leave
Desmond: you right;i think i should do that now(he stand to leave and there is a knock at the door)whose there?are you expecting any visitor?(to Alfred)
Alfred: not at all(to Desmond)come in;the door is not lock
Driver: good evening sir
Desmond: good evening;how come you are this early

Driver: i left your family house very early
Desmond: you wouldn't have bothered;i can drive now
Driver: if i refuse your mom will be mad at me
Desmond: alright then
Driver: shall we
Desmond: i want to check on someone. can you wait for me
Driver: don't worry;we will check on the person before we leave
Desmond: alright then
Driver: shall we go now
Desmond: alright;let me get my bag(he went in and return few minutes)goodbye buddy(to Alfred)shall we
Alfred: good bye. take care
Desmond: i will(at Stephanie's apartment)excuse me
Driver: so you want to go inside to check on her
Desmond: yes;excuse me(he left and knock at the door but no answer) where on earth will this girls be?(he left and return at the car)am here now;you can drive now(he continue pressing his phone)
Driver: didn't you see her and you look worked up
Desmond: yes;i couldn't find her and her phone is not go through also(he paused)how did you know the person i am talking about is a girl
Driver: i know because you wouldn't be worried sick over any boy
Desmond: (he laughed)is not like that although;she is a girl
Driver: is she your girlfriend
Desmond: no;she is not but she is more than just a friend
Driver: but you are in love with her
Desmond: (he laughed)please;don't kill me with your words. she is my friend and not my lover and have you forgotten that i had a betroth
Driver: am sorry sir;i didn't remember
Desmond: stop calling me sir
Driver: alright boss(Desmond laughed)

Desmond: just increase your speed a little
Driver: i will (curtain)

Ann: is already past eight and Tina is not home
Anita: am not;sure she will come back today
Tosan: everywhere is so boring without Stephanie
Anita: i don't even know why Stephanie decided to go home when she already said she is leaving next week
Tosan: and now where is Tina
Anita: maybe she doesn't want to come home;its normal for her
Tosan: i don't know but something is not just right;am scared
Anita: scared of what?
Tosan: i don't know;i am scared
Anita: don't worry;is nothing
Ann: you are just missing Stephanie or should i say Tina
Tosan: don't be ridiculous(knock at the door)is like someone is at door
Ann: but why will someone be knocking at the door in this ungodly hour(another knock at the door)am getting scared go and open the door(to Tosan)

Tosan: you know i can't;why don't Anita go?
Anita: don't worry;i will open the door(she open the door)oh my God!(the masked man push her inside)please;don't hurt us
1st masked man: will you keep quiet;everyone;get down(he sight upward)where are the other girls?
Anita: sir;they are not around
2nd masked man: shut up before i blow off your head
Ann: please don't shoot;she is telling the truth
1st masked man: go inside and bring the other girls(to 3rd masked man)and you(to Ann)take him to Stephanie's room
Ann: Stephanie
1st masked man: yes or do you want me to blow off your head
Ann: no sir(she left with the 2nd masked man and return)
1st masked man: where is she?
Anita: hmm
1st masked man: will you answer me before i......
Ann: am sorry sir;she travelled to her family house
2nd masked man: what rubbish?are you sure
Tosan: yes sir
2nd masked man: lets leave a message for her
3rd masked man: what do you want to do?
2nd masked man: to shoot one of this girls
1st masked man: that is not part of the plan
3rd masked man: alright then;guys lets go (they left)

Ann: oh my God!thank God,they are gone(they embrace each other)
Anita: i am so scared for Stephanie's life and also for our safety
Ann: do you think we should stay in this house
Anita: we can't go out this night;lets just wait till tomorrow
Ann: what do we do now?
Anita: i don't know but i am scared
Tosan: let just sleep in one room and i hope is not Georgina that is doing all this
Ann: just stop it(curtain)

Beauty: good morning(she jumped on Desmond)i missed you
Desmond: morning;i missed you also;how was your night?
Beauty: it was fine;you came yesterday and you didn't asked after me. you have forgotten about me
Desmond: how will i forget my baby?(he dragged her closer)i will never forget my friend
Beauty: everything about you may change but not your friendliness and humility will change
Desmond: why should i be proud when i don't have anything
Beauty: you are not rich;then who is?
Desmond: MR and MRS Jackson;they are
Beauty: funny boy
Desmond: how is your mom?
Beauty: she is fine and i know she doesn't know you are here
Desmond: i will see her later
Beauty: i notice something about you
Desmond: whats that?
Beauty: you keep pressing your phone;are you trying to call someone?am i right?
Desmond: yes;you are right but the number is not going through;is making me worried
Beauty: don't worry;i am sure it is network problem
Desmond: i just hope so;i pray she is already
Beauty: she?i mean is the person a girlfriend?
Desmond: not at all;she is my friend;my confidential friend
Beauty: are you sure?
Desmond: i am sure;don't be a naught girl(he dragged her nose)
Beauty: (they both laugh)i will just go inside
Desmond: alright then;lets go together
Jackson: my son;i am sorry i didn't come home early to welcome my son
Desmond: i understand dad;good morning dad;i missed you



SEE MORE.....

too

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In India Only 10% girls are playing cricket, hockey, tennis,

badminton,

chess, etc!



Remaining 90% are busy in playing with”Jaanu”.

janu kaha ho ?

janu kya kar rahe ho ?

janu kab aaoge ?

janu u love me na ?

Janu muje ye chahiye.

janu movie chale.

Janu ye kya hai ?

Janu u miss me na ?

Janu kuch to bolo ?

Janu i miss u.

janu yeh

janu wo

Janu kuch nahi.

“JAAN LE LO JAANU KI”Related

A penguin only has sex twice a yearRelated

ONE WRONG TURN
Episode 11

i don’t know, I’m only allowed to
go to church and school, i can’t
leave the house”
There was a look of disappointment
on Ehis’s face, he seemed a little
frustrated. Deep down in my own
heart, I’d love to hang out with
him. But there was nothing i could
do about it. My parents were
everywhere.
“what if i pick you up from
school?”
I greeted the question with a look
of confusion on my face,
“how? ” i asked. Still very confused.
“i ll come and pick you with my
friend’s car during break, i ll bring
you back quickly. No one will
notice you were gone. Ruth will tell
you how to leave the school.
My mind went blank for sometime.
i know Ruth and Hannah usually
sneaked out of the school during
breaks, but i had never followed
them. I had no reason to. I still
wondered how they were able to
leave and return unnoticed.
I have always participated in the
goodies they bring back from
where ever they go.
I was really scared, but i had to
accept. It was worth the risk, so i
thought.
I unlocked the door, and attempted
to leave, Ehis held me back, and
pulled me closer to himself.
There was that look on his face
again, and the pink lips. My
heartbeat raced again. My head
wanted to go, but my heart had a
different plan.
I was still consumed in my
thoughts when I felt his lips on
mine. It was wet, slow and
passionate like the first. I felt the
flutter in my stomach again.
He began to move his hands
towards my bosoms. I was scared
and uncomfortable. It took every
muscle in my body to hold his
hand, and break the kiss.
“Not today please, when I see you
on Monday” i said as I tried to
leave.
“We ll continue from here,
Promise?”
“yes”
“okay” he said, licking his lips in a
seductive manner. I never knew
what that meant. I had no idea
what i had just promised.
As i walked towards the hall, me
eye ball kept dancing from side to
side, incase someone had spotted
me coming out of the car.
As i approached my parents seat,
my heart began to beat faster. I
felt like a thief, i just hoped the
guilt i felt in my heart hasn’t
registered on my gave. I stole a
quick glance at my mum’s face. She
was still holding on to the note.
“when did Ruth give you this?” She
asked as soon as I sat.
“last week.”
My mum gave me a long suspicious
look, and turned her attention to
the alter.
I was really nervous, but all i could
think about was meeting Ehis on
Monday. I had made him a
promise, even if i barely
understood the nature of the
promise.

Leave a comment pls


>>

1. The separators: They’re always around. Before a fight is about to ensue, You’ll see them pop out from nowhere trying to calm the fighters down.

2. The judges: Unlike the separators, the judges are not always around. They arrive like 15-30seconds after the separators. They ask the fighters the cause of their fight before ruling on who’s at fault.

3. The observers: Of course there must be an observer in every thing that has to do with “types of people”. They are just there to watch how the fight is being fought. Ask them the cause of the fight and what you’ll get is an “I don’t know” reply. I fall under this category

4. The record keepers: They may know any of the fighters well and his life history. They’ll tell you how often/seldom he fights. They know the last time he fought and what actually caused the fight.

5. The askers: These ones are always late. They come towards the concluding part of the thing and bombard you with questions like: ‘guy wetin happen?’ ‘who and who are fighting?’

6. The walkaholics: These ones are similar to the askers. They’re never satisfied with any
information you give them. They walk from place to place in search of answers like they were given a project to work on.

7. The woman wrappers: Lol. funny but true. They’re everywhere. They cease any opportunity that comes their way. They’ll sight from afar to see if there’s any gorgeous lady witnessing the fight then walk down and ask her the cause of the fight. They’ll deviate from the actual discussion and the next thing you’ll see is them exchanging numbers.

8. The Motivators: These ones are like devils. They give you reasons to fight. Even if you’ve declined to fight, they must tell you something so annoying in order to increase your rage and get you wrestling whilst they observe you from distance and make mockery of you.

Which ones dey vex u pass? Add yours

1.
The separators: They’re always around. Before a fight is about to
ensue, You’ll see them pop out from nowhere trying to calm the fighters
down.



2. The judges: Unlike the separators, the judges are not always around.
They arrive like 15-30seconds after the separators. They ask the
fighters the cause of their fight before ruling on who’s at fault.



3. The observers: Of course there must be an observer in every thing
that has to do with “types of people”. They are just there to watch how
the fight is being fought. Ask them the cause of the fight and what
you’ll get is an “I don’t know” reply. I fall under this category



4. The record keepers: They may know any of the fighters well and his
life history. They’ll tell you how often/seldom he fights. They know the
last time he fought and what actually caused the fight.



5. The askers: These ones are always late. They come towards the
concluding part of the thing and bombard you with questions like: ‘guy
wetin happen?’ ‘who and who are fighting?’



6. The walkaholics: These ones are similar to the askers. They’re never satisfied with any

information you give them. They walk from place to place in search of answers like they were given a project to work on.



7. The woman wrappers: Lol. funny but true. They’re everywhere. They
cease any opportunity that comes their way. They’ll sight from afar to
see if there’s any gorgeous lady witnessing the fight then walk down and
ask her the cause of the fight. They’ll deviate from the actual
discussion and the next thing you’ll see is them exchanging numbers.



8. The Motivators: These ones are like devils. They give you reasons to
fight. Even if you’ve declined to fight, they must tell you something so
annoying in order to increase your rage and get you wrestling whilst
they observe you from distance and make mockery of you.



Which ones dey vex u pass? Add yours - See more at:

The living room was a complete mess. Broken pieces of glass littered the whole room. Empty bottles clustered in a spot and filled bottles and glasses lined up on the table. The sofas were disarranged and an arm chair was upside down. An unpleasant smell filled her nostrils as she walked around the room. That made her cough. It was vomit. They sight of it almost made her puke too. She controlled herself and turned her eyes away immediately. She faced Ernest with a serious look on her face. “Was there a fight in here? What happened?”

“He took her away from me,” he responded sadly.

She couldn’t get it. “Who took who away from you? How does it have to do with the state of your house?”

He shook his head miserably. “I don’t expect you to understand. You can never understand. I think I’ve lost her, she’s left me for now. She’s with my cousin. It really hurt me.”

Tricia rolled her eyes. “You vented your anger on your valuables at home? You broke them in pieces and got yourself drunk? What good have it done you, huh?” She folded her arms.

He threw himself on a couch. “The anger and pain, I no longer feel. I’m gonna get her back.”

“And how do you plan on doing that? In your drunken state? I doubt that.”

“You’re mistaken. I’m not drunk. I’m perfectly fine.”

“I can see that,” she sneered. “Listen, I’m not comfortable here. I can’t stand the smell neither can I stand stepping on broken bottles. If you want to talk to me, get dressed and lets go somewhere else, I’ll be waiting outside.”
*
*
*
“Where did you get these from?” Purity asked. This was unbelievable. Only her had access to these letters that were written years ago. How did Jeremy come to have seen them? Who let him have them? It wasn’t possible.

“Surprised, my princess?” Jeremy remarked, standing above Purity.

“Just give me an answer! Where did you get these damn letters from?” She was already raising her voice. This was of serious concern to her and Jeremy seemed less concerned about it. It wasn’t fun.

He had imagined her getting paranoid. “Calm down. You don’t have to yell at me.” He smiled grimly and joined her in squatting. His eyes caught a note on the table. He picked it up. “Here, I love this one. It says, ‘Last night, I hugged my pillow and dreamt of you…….. I wish that someday, I’d dream about my pillow and I’d be hugging you- Divine.’ Its really cute, don’t you think so?”

Purity bit her lips hard. The letters she held fell off her hands. She dug her right palm into her left palm and tried gulping down her tears. All this, she had forgotten. She was done with them. Why resurface? It was good as dead. “Jeremy, please stop,” she nervously whispered.

“This one’s also captivating,” he picked up another note, “‘I wrote your name on the sand, but the waves washed it away. I wrote your name on my hand, but it washed the next day. I wrote your name on a paper, but I accidentally threw it away. I wrote your name on my heart and forever it will stay.'” He sucked in a breath. “I’m beginning to feel jealous, wishing I’m Gerald. That feeling must be really nice and refreshing.”

Purity met his gaze. She saw flashes of anger and pain in them. This was why he had that troubled look on his face. Things were just getting complicated. She felt as if she was not meant to be in any relationship. She wished to stop hurting him with her poor decisions and poor memory. It would be better if she were still single. She’d not hurt anyone emotionally. “You are misunderstanding the whole thing. Its not what you think. Please, listen to me.”

“Why did you lie to me?”

The question cut her deeply. Lie to Jeremy? She had never lied to anyone. She hated lying, she detested the act so much. Why would she do that to someone she cared about so much? This was going too far. “Lie to you? I never lied to you. What did i lie about?”

“You’re still asking me questions when the answers are right in front of you? You wrote several love notes to different guys while you were still in high school. You had high school sweethearts.”

“No! That’s not it. I wrote these letters but not to anyone in particular. Did you not hear my story?”

“I did. And that’s why I said you lied.”

Tears formed in her eyes. “I did not lie to you. All these are in my past and you said the past is gone, please let it go.”

He took a deep breath. “If it were only in the past, I’d not be bothering you. But it includes the present. You recently contacted Gerald and you two are seeing eachother.”

Jeremy’s last sentence struck her. It felt like she was stabbed with a very sharp dagger. She’d have preferred the physical pain to the emotional pain. It really hurt bad. At that moment, she wondered who was lying to who – she or Jeremy? Nothing of what he said was the truth. Who could have done this? Who wanted to hurt her this much? Whoever it was, was really getting what he wanted. And what pained her more, was the fact that Jeremy had seen the lies as truth and accused her of them – what she hated so much.

“I do not know any Gerald. I don’t know what you are talking about.”

She had the audacity to tell another lie to his face? She had been caught, she ought to speak the truth and ask to be forgiven. But she’s trying to defend a lie. He knew he was blunt and hard on her, but that was they only way he thought the truth would come out. He really had to know. He disliked lies and those who deceive people. “Cut that crap. You know exactly what I’m talking about. Why did you do this to me? You threw dust on my eye and expected me not to find out? Purity, I trusted you with all my heart.” He stood up.

“Oh, no you didn’t trust me,” she fired back. “Please, get me outta here, I got to get back to the office.” She got on her feet.

Her response angered him. “You are not running away from this! I demand an explanation.”

She gave a strained laugh. “I don’t think so. You don’t deserve any explanations since you’ve already made up your mind and have drawn conclusions about me. Let me go!”

“Oh, yes. I have made my conclusions already, just prove me wrong. You gave me no other choice. I’ve always had to put up with your past. When will all these end?”

“You’re not sounding like the Jeremy I know. When have my past become an issue? I thought you didn’t care about it. That you wouldn’t judge me. Its gone and gone forever.” Her vision was blurred. “I have never imagined you’d stoop so low to believe all this.” She used the back of her hands to dry her tears.

He was hurting her, but still he had to get to the point and make her confess. “I’m sorry I’m making you feel bad. Yes, I don’t care about your past, but you keep lying to me, you d-”

“I did not lie to you!” She was not going to choose her words this time. She’d say whatever she feels like. “You saw all these and believed I had high school sweethearts? And you accuse me of being in contact with one? What proof do you have, where did you get it from?”

“Tell me you didn’t write them.”

“I’m not a liar. I did, I wrote them. I want never involved in a relationship with any guy at school because I didn’t want to get hurt. I was afraid of giving my heart to anyone. And yes, I got jealous seeing my friends have fun with their boyfriends. So I created imaginary boyfriends for myself. I had fantasies. I made up names and wrote letters. It was a secret I shared between my friends and I. It made me feel loved, loved with no sadness. That’s why I made these notes to my imaginary lovers!”

“I don’t believe you. What kind of dirty game is that?” A part of him believed her, the other part did not. He was divided.

Purity flared up. “Who are you to question my past decision? You are claiming to be a saint. Aren’t you planning to divorce me a year after our marriage? You just want to use and dump me! Because I’m a virgin? I hate you for this, Jeremy.”

“I am not planning on divorcing you. Yes, I had wanted to. It was what my dad used in cajoling me to court you.”

“You’re a jerk! A damn liar. I’m out of here.” She turned her back on him.

He caught her hand and turned her to him. “Tell me the truth. Why did you agree to this marriage? You want me among the list of men you’ve broken their hearts? Just like my cousin, right?”

“I would never have agreed to this. I did it for your mother.”

“My mother, what do you mean?”

“It was her last wish that I marry you!”

“No, no,” he whispered. It can’t be. He left her staring at the wall. He got outside trying to get a hold of himself. His mother had wanted him to be with Purity? Why hadn’t he known? His mother never mentioned her and his father never did till that very day. Why was this kept from him?

A loud scream caught his attention. He had left Purity all alone! He ran back into the house, he couldn’t hear her scream anymore. She wasn’t there. “Purity! Purity! My love, where are you?”
There was no response. He heard muffled cries. He was sure it was her. He was so confused and couldn’t think clearly. He searched the entire living room for her. There was no trace of her. He felt as if a part of him had been stolen. He dug his hands into his pocket and brought out his cell phone and tried dialling 911. The next thing, a bottle was smashed on his head, he fell to the ground, hitting his head hard on the floor and everything went blank. BLACK OUT!

>>


CAMPUS BABE
Episode 4

“Well I want to apologise for
ignoring you
all these while,I’ve just been
trying to sort
myself out and recover from the
way you
treated me,I’ve not been able to…
I dnt
think I can continue with this
anymore,I
love you,I really do but I can’t
take another episode of that kind
of nonsense
which you displayed the other
day, you
dnt owe me any explanation or
apologies
I think its best we stay apart at
least for
now,this was a hard decision to
make..bbutt… Just know that I still
love you” femi said. I couldn’t
believe what I had just heard,I
wish h he had never called at least
that
way I could keep hope alive,how
could he
be so harsh,because of something
as little
as that(I call it little because I
have heard
about worse in relationships) he
was really acting like the
egocentric idiots
(some guys are)…how can you
quit a
relationship with someone you
love
because of somthing like this. I
was
greatly disappointed and haert-
broken.. Ads by Google
Ad covers the page
Stop seeing this ad Two weeks
had past since Femi’s break-
up call,I had lost weight due to
thinking
and not eating,I had become a
shadow of
myself…all my friends had told me
to get
over Femi,they had tried hooking
me up
with some guys just to help me
get over him,but it wsnt
successful. If femi,had
told me he didn’t love me
anymore,it
would have been easier for me to
move
on,but this wasn’t the case,he
really
emphasised on the statement “I
love you”
before hanging up.why did he
have to put me in a state of
emotional
imprisonment..it was hard for me
to
forget him and start another
relationship,after two years of
loving the
love of my life.
During my period of emotional
heart- break,I couldn’t concentrate
well on my
academic work(it was that bad),my
roomate wanted to call my
mum,but I
pleaded with her not to,because I
knew
my mum was gonna march down
to my
school,if she found out I was
involved with a boy in anyway-to
her,I was too
young to have anything to do
with any
boy, and she had the mentality
that every
boy-girl relationship involved s*x.
After
much pep talks a nd advice
sessions from
my roomate(garnished with
threats to call my mum),I decided
to get back on my
feet and ignore anything that had
to do
with boys(at least for the rest of
the
semester). I was still recovering
from my distress
when I met another shocker, I
saw femi
at “OUR” favorite chat spot with
another
girl…
TO BE CONTINUED…


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Katherina: dad;this is barrister know all;he will be your legal counsel
Joab: alright
Isabella: good afternoon dad
Joab: what are you doing here?
Katherina: exactly what did you think?she is the one that paid for the service of the attorney
Joab: and so
Katherina: dad please don't start
Barr know all: is alright; Mr Joab as you have been told and i'm in charge of your lawsuit; i really had to get details of your wife; so that i could know on what will be our defence
Joab: what do you want me to tell you about her?
Barr know all: is she a good wife; a nag;an aggressive one;insolent;mannerless;a promiscuous woman
Joab: yes;she is a promiscuous and insolent one at that
Katherina: father
Joab: yes; your mother is a prostitute
Isabella: but that is not true dad; attorney please ignore him;he just want you to hanged it on that;he was provoke that was why he did it
Barr know all: that is a good one 'provocation'
Joab: yes;she provoked me with her words by admitting to me,that she is a prostitute
Katherina: what?
Isabella: dad;stop it already;dont be a liar because you want to be set free;go on dad;just tell him the truth;he will still help you out
Joab: you think;i'm lying. yes she might not be insolent but she is a prostitute because i am not your father(he hit her by the head)
Isabella: dad tell me is not truth(she cried)
Joab: keep those tears of yours to your stupid self;you are not my daughter;your mother cheated on me with God know who?(he slapped him twice)bastard evil child
Barr know all: Mr Joab take it easy(he continued hitting her)
Katherina: dad; stop it already;that is a enough. stop it
Joab: take this bastard from here,i'm not her dad(he pushed her)get out(she ran out)
Warder: hey young man;behaviour yourself; in fact get inside now
Joab: i'm leaving already(exit Joab)
Katherina: Barrister; i an sorry;i have to go look for my sister
Barr know all: is okay;i will go ahead(curtain)
Katherina: Isabella come on; lets go home
Isabella: alright
Katherina: are you okay(no answer and they walked home)are you alright?
Isabella: i'm fine;this is the second time,you are answering that
Katherina: but you havent answered me and you are quiet
Isabella: do you think dad was joking;when he said,'i am not his daughter'
Katherina: are yo thinking of that rubbish he said?
Isabella: what if he is right?what if i am not really your sister?
Katherina: you are my sister(she hugged her)what?
Isabella: please dont ever give me to my real dad
Lola: what are you people talking about?
Julia: children; what is going on
Isabella: is nothing grandma; i have to go to work;please excuse me
Julia: what is going on with that girl?
Katherina: grandma;don't worry she will be fine
Lola: what did dad tell the lawyer?how did it go?
Katherina: what?
Lola: come on tell us
Julia: wait a minute,dont tell me that your dad molested my grand daughter
Katherina: grandma is not like that
Julia: dont bothered explaining(she walked away)
Zippor: what is going on?i just saw grandma walking away furiously
Katherina: is it not dad;he keep saying that Isabella is not his daughter
Zippor: what is going on;on that head of man?if i she is not his daughter;she is helping him. if i were him;i will take care of her until i no longer need her help
Lola: you crazy
Zippor: anyway,i am just kidding;is there food in this house?
Katherina: of cause,my little brother
Zippor: will you leave here(laugh all)
Julia: where is he?
Constable: who?
Julia: Joab;the murderer(enter Joab) you evil man(she slapped him)after killing my daughter;you still want to kill my granddaughter?it will not work for you;it shall not be well with you;the fact that i let then see and talk to you and even let them get you a lawyer that doesnt make me a fool but if this repeat itself;you wouldn't like what i will do to you and i wouldnt think twice than to hurt;just as you have been hurting her(she slapped him again)
Warder: woman behaviour yourself
Julia: there is no need for that;i am leave but just know that i am not done with you yet(curtain)




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April-fool [Read it]


On 2nd April As Akpan Was Coming Back From School,he Was Jubilating,singing Praises,"as He Went Home His Father Called And Said"this One U Are So Happy Like This"what Is It?Hmm! Papa U Will Not Undersd"said Akpan"infact Papa I Have Made It.And His Father Said Ok Now Can U Tell Me What It Is,,.Akpan Said 'papa, I Have Win Free Education And I Will Be Send To U.S.A To Go And School There For Free.His Father Said No Problem But When Are U People Traveling? Akpan Said On 20th Of Dis Month Papa.Ok B/4 That Time I Will Know What 2 Do,'said His Father.He Started Preparing For Him, He Sold His Only Car And Even One Piece Of Land That Belong 2 Him,he Also Went 2 The Bank And Boro #500.000.As He Was Doing All This Things He Never Discursed Any Thing To Akpan Until 19th Night As He Finished,he Called His Son"akpan"and He Answered''sir'and His Father Said 2 Him,u Know U Will Travel Tomorrow 2 U.S.A,so As U Will Go There Try And Read Hard,hiee! Akpan Shouted Nd Said'Dat Was April Fool Oo.Guess Wat Akpan Father Do 2 Akpan.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-17 17:57:05

496 Views




Akpors and his wife were
arguing about man and
woman,,,who is greater.
These are there
conversations...
Wife: men are the head but women are the neck,
without the neck, the head cannot stand, men where
created out of dust but women were created out of
flesh. and flesh is stronger than the dust. also....."anything man do.......woman can
do it better. And in the life of any successful man there
must be a woman.
Akpors: a woman is not
complete without a man
because you cannot spell
"woman" without "man".
You cannot spell "she" without "he". Nor "mrs" without
"mr" Nor "madam" without "adam". and why is it that
we say "Amen" in the church instead
of "Awomen". My friend go and site down jari!!
Vote akpos and his wife.
Who won?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-09 16:19:45

353 Views





Three prominent politicians in Nigeria boarded the same flight to from Abuja to Lagos.

The first Politician started, “I can throw one N1000 note down and make one person laugh.”

“I can make two persons laugh with just two N500 notes.” the second politician replied.

The third politician retorted, “With just five pieces of N200 notes, I can make five people laugh.”

Akpos The pilot then looked at the politicians and added, “I’m the pilot here, meaning I can throw all of you down and make more than 150 million Nigerians laugh.”


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-25 09:35:09

287 Views



Man pass man [Read it]


When a strong and rich man takes your wife, just
call him your in-law. This is the best way to still
have access to your wife. Abi? #lols


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-08-16 19:49:02

197 Views




Our heart always knows the truth;

But it’s our mind which creates the confusion.

Good Night!Related

Thanksgiven [Read it]


Please thank God for me. They attacked me at about 2:30 am this morning. They came into my room while i was sleeping. I heard their sound as they moved across the rooms towards me, as i got up, i remembered the scripture that says. " He has not given us the spirit of fear.... So as one of them came at me to attack, i had no choice but to defend myself, i struck quickly. The second one also came at me, i couldn't belive what was happening my neighbours heard the chaotic sound that was emerging from my room and were wondering what was wrong. I eventually hit the second one too, my hands were filled with blood. As they lay on the floor, i noticed that one of them was still breathing, now with anger i hit his head mercilessly. My people that was how i killed two giant mosquitoes that came to attack me last night. Please help me to thank God for saving my life.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-04 12:55:04

345 Views




JOKE PART 62 BY DINDY
:…….
:…….
The night was sweet and cool
.
.
Dindy was relaxing in his room with thoughts all up in his mind with a smile on his face.
.
.
What ran through his mind was
:……
“The day i will catch that conductor that ran away with my 20 naira change ehn, the things i will do to him. Ehn”…… ? ?

DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 63.







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-12-07 20:22:04

218 Views




When people say while watching a film, "did ya see that?" 
Me: No I didn't, I paid N2,000 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-15 20:36:07

152 Views




Sani was furious. He had just been played again. Just
then, jimmy’s line rang.
“Jimmy nwachukwu” jimmy said as he picked the call. “Sir, the call is for you” he said and gave sani the phone. “Did you enjoy the ghost chase?” the voice from the
other end asked. Sani used his hand to cover the
mouthpiece, he then spoke to Jimmy.
“Trace the call” “Better trace the call fast” the voice said.
“cos in less than five seconds, all your communication
network is going down” “what are you talking about? You know were are going
to….. Boooooooom!!!!!” sani was still saying when they
heard a loud [email protected] in the building. The line went dead,
all their computer screen became blank, their land lines
were disconnected, Power was disrupted. Just then
sani’s cell rang, he picked it up. “You know i thought of killing you” the caller said.
“But that would be waste of cemetery space. And oh, its
nothing personal” the line went dead. +++++++ Attah’s prayer had just been answered. He could literally
evisage the end of the invisible quartet. More like God
just chose him to be the recepient of his ‘blessing of the
year’. Bringing down the invisible quartet has been Attah’s
dream from time immemorial. They were the group
responsible for sending him to prison which had
temporary put to halt his quest to end them. Even as he
had planned on using Jacobs to realize his dreams, he
didn’t have an elaborate plan on how to stop them. For instance, he only knows their operations and their
victims when he sees one but he didn’t know were to
locate them. The arrival of this guy from nowhere has
just given him someone to direct all his questions to.
Yes he had questions, questions like where they were
called invisible quartet even though they were supposed to be five.
The workshop break didn’t come as soon as he had
expected. It was like the invisible quartet where
planning to stop his meeting with this ‘all-knowing
being’. Prisons in nigeria had workshops where the
prisoners learnt all sorts of hand work so that they
would be self dependent when they finally leave the prison. Some people learnt capentary, others learnt
welding and so on. After waiting for like eternity, the time to go to
workshop finally came and all the prisoners were led
out of their prison to the workshop under the
supervision of heavily armed soldiers. Before leaving,
the guy still came to remind Attah of their meeting.
Attah wasn’t comfortable with the Way the guy was taking it personal but he thought maybe the guy was
also eager to bring down the invisible quartet.
In the workshop the guy kept looking at Attah which
made Jacobs uncomfortable but he just did as if he
didn’t notice. Attah and Jacobs didn’t discuss about the invisible
quartet again since the guy showed up. Perhaps, Attah
thought he had gotten someone to help him bring
down the group so he might not be needing Jacobs’
help. All of a sudden, the guy stopped working and walked
towards attah. He whispered to him
“Meet me in the toilet” and started going. “Hey there!! Where you dey go?” a soldierman asked. “I wan go piss” he said and continued going. Attah
waited for some few minutes before joining the guy. “What took you so long?” the guy asked, looking
around to see if there was any other person. “i had to wade off suspicion” Attah replied. “Good” the guy replied with his hand behind him. He
was holding a knife. It has been six hours since the attack on NATU but the
effect was still on. The wh0l£ communication hub had
been burnt down due to the explosive, the transformer
was also blown. The governor had been trying to reach
them but he couldn’t reach them on official lines so he
called Sani’s cell. He blasted the coorperation for failing to nab the terrorist, this time he threatened fire and
brimstone. Immediately after the call, Sani put a call
across to the nigerian army to search for a certain
Lieutenant Bala Usman but he was told that they was
Nobody with that name. “I give up!!” he shouted and went back to his office. Dr. Amos was busy in his office. He had been queried by
his employer for missing an important surgery. He tried
to explain the situation to the man but he didn’t listen.
He was allowed to work on probation.
Someone walked into his office and he looked up. “Brother Amos, always busy” the person said. “Hey joe, watsup” Dr. Amos replied. Joe was his immediate younger brother, he was still in
the university but due to the ASUU strike, he was at
home. Amos had wondered why some group of men
that called themselves intellects would keep students at
home for over five months. He decided he was going to
send his brother to south africa while the strike lasts. He had wanted to tell him but he decided to make it a
suprise. He would tell his brother on his birthday which
comes up the next week. “I’m fine bro, guess what?” “Joe, if you came for guesses you might wanna
reconsider your stay am very busy” Amos repied “remember Janet? The girl i’v been asking out for close
to a year now” “what about her?” Amos asked unconcerned. “She just agreed to go out on a date with me” Joe
shouted with smiles on his face. “That’s good. So you wanted to ask me of the best joint
in town for first date?” Amos asked. “No na, i just want to use your car. I wanna blow her
mind” Joe replied. Amos thought about all the things his car had passed
through. His mechanic had returned the car not to long,
after spending Hours in traffic. “Thats the key” Amos pointed at his desk
“If my car gets as much as a scratch, you will get me a
new one” Amos warned. “No problem” Joe said and sprang out of the office. He
came back later and picked up the key which he had
forgotten due to excitement. “Children of nowadays, when i was in the university, i
and my date would always trekk to the venue of our
date” Amos spoke to himself.
He began to remember his days in the university, he
could give anything just to have those days back. He
was still in his thoughts when he heared a loud [email protected] He looked through the window and he saw a thick
smoke in the direction of the parking lot. He decided to
go and check it out. On arrival, he saw people running away from the place.
“What is it?” he asked someone “It was a bomb,it was planted inside a car” the person
replied and continued running. Amos went towards the
place, he recognised the plate number.
It was his car!!! +++++ Hours after the explosion, NATU team arrived the scene.
They would have showed up earlier but there was no
way of reaching them. Someone actually went
physically to NATU to report the bomb incident because
NATU were the agency poised with the responsibility of
investigating all terrorist attacks. The nigerian police and soldier officers were already at the scene before
the arrival of NATU. The NATU team was led by Agent
Musa who was just coming back from maiduguri.
They quickly marked out the area of the attack. Earlier, Amos had wanted to go into the fire to find his
brother but he was held. Fire brigade then came few
minutes Later and battled with the fire.
Amos stood there watching with tears in his eyes as
body parts of his brother who was blown into pieces
was put into a polythene bag. Amaka’s phone rang and when she saw the caller, she
excused herself to pick the call.
“Hello Amaka, i just heard of the bomb attack on your
hospital in the news” paul said from the other end. “What did you do? Thought we agreed that Dr. Amos
and his property should be left out of this? Amaka
asked. “Yes, but i changed my mind. I noticed how emotionally
attached you were to the doctor so i had to do
something before it jeopardizes the operation” paul
replied. “What are you talking about, were you not the one that
told me to get closer to the doctor?” Amaka asked. “yes but i changed my mind, and that is final.” paul
changed his tone.
“so tell me, did they find his remains” he asked. “No, he was blown into pieces” Amaka replied. “Good, time to move on to the final phase” paul said. “and what is the final phase?” Amaka asked. “It’s classified” paul replied her. “I thought we agreed that i would be carried along?
Look i didn’t sign up to kill innocent people…” Amaka
was trying to say something but paul ended the call.
She sighed and turned back only to see agent musa
standing behind her and looking straight into her eyes,
he wasn’t smiling.

>>

At sunday school.
Priest: Deuteronomy 22:5 says “A woman shall not wear a man's garment, nor shall a man put on a woman's cloth, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God."
"Any question?" asked the priest.
Joy: what about women that wear trouser suite?
Priest: Its still an abomination.
Akpos: what about men that wears gown?
Priest: hahaha that's abomination raise to power 2.
Akpos: Your own abomination is raise to power 4.
Priest: Holy mary! How?
Akpos: because you are wearing two gowns. White gown inside and green gown outside.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-09 23:22:18

527 Views





Young man, you are coming to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage and you are chewing gum.

That’s a sign of disrespect!

Akpos: Sir, I only chew gum when I drink or smoke.

Father-In-Law: You mean you drink and smoke and you are here to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage?

Akpos: Sir I only drink and smoke when I go to the club.

Father-In-Law: You club too?

Akpos: I’m sorry sir, I started clubbing when I came out of prison.

Father-In-Law: You’ve also been in prison before? Oh my God!

Akpos: Sorry sir, I went to jail when I killed somebody!!

Father-In-Law: What!!! You’re a killer and you me to give you my daughter’s hand in marriage?
Akpos: Sir, it happened out of anger. It was a certain man that didn’t allow me marry his daughter, so I killed him.

Father-In-Law: You are highly welcome my son. You are on the right track. You are absolutely the right man for my daughter.




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-04 08:47:35

624 Views



bible class [Read it]


complete this bible quote-
“many are called but…” Akpos: many are called but few
have the credit to call back.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-30 11:00:40

447 Views




A Toyota or a BMW, the Road remains the same for all.

You Travel Economy Class or Executive, your Destination doesn’t change.

A Titan, Rado or a Rolex, the Time is the same for everyone.

There is nothing wrong in dreaming or leading a luxurious life;

What needs to be taken care of is not to let the NEED not become a GREED.

Because needs is always met but greed is never fulfilled!Related

Holy Ghost Fire [Read it]


There was a pastor who
wanted to impress his
audience by performing
miracles, so as to gain more
audience. He
called his son and said to him, "On Sunday, you will go up into
the altar of the church with
some used books and a
matchbox, then when I say
Holy Ghost fire, you will light
up the books with fire and throw it in front of the church." On Sunday when the pastor
was praying, he shouted, "HOLY
GHOST FIRE!" His son quickly lit the paper
and threw it in front of the
church, the people thought it
was real, so they invited other
people to the church. This
continued for many Sundays. One Sunday while the pastor
was praying, he shouted, "HOLY
GHOST FIRE!" No fire. He repeated again,
"HOLY GHOST FIRE!" No fire. Agitated, he shouted
for the umpteenth time, "I SAY
HOLY GHOST FIRE!" and his son
immediately shouted back,
"daddy, matches have finished
#BOLLYSneh™



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-03 23:23:57

20950 Views




[10:29 AM]: A man goes to a clinic and the nurse behind the counter attends to him Nurse: Name,please? Man: abdul abu Nurse: sex? Man: Yes.Three to five times a week Nurse: no,no.I mean male or female man: both male and female.And sometimes with camel Nurse: holy cow! Man: yes,i did one time with a cow,too Nurse: but isn't that hostile? Man: Horse style,Doggy style,any style! Nurse: Oh dear Man: No,no!No Deer.. Deer run 2 fast.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-16 00:13:49

680 Views




During the exam, Akpors kept looking under the
table, then he would write on the answer sheet.
His teacher saw him doing that & thought he
was copying. When collecting the paper after
the exam..
Teacher: I’m gonna minus 10 marks.
Akpors: Hiiaaa!! Why sir?
Teacher: For copying.
Akpors: How do you know that I was copying?
Teacher: I saw you looking under the table.
Akpors: *laughing* Question 9 said, “STUDY THE
TABLE BELOW “.
This guy too much joor!



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-11 12:28:03

250 Views



papa nah fish [Read it]



Two men are playing golf one day. As they are about to start one of the holes, a funeral procession goes by on the road beside the course. One of the golfers, Harry, takes off his cap and stands with his cap to his chest, and waits for the entire procession to go by. He then puts his cap back on and proceeds to tee off.

“Gee Harry, that was a very nice gesture on your part. It was very thoughtful and respectful of you to do that,” his friend says.

“Well,” Harry replies, “I was married to her for 30 years, it was the least I could do.”Related

problem [Read it]


am having a problem here in posting am not sure its d same wif every1 else i can't post more than 1024 characters(words)


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-13 11:40:40

318 Views



Dam fish [Read it]


A boy is selling fish on a corner.
To get his customers' attention,
he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale!
Get your dam fish here!" A pastor
hears this and asks, "Why are you
calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy
responds, "Because I caught
these fish at the local dam." The
pastor buys a couple fish, takes
them home to his wife, and asks
her to cook the dam fish. The
wife responds surprised, "I
didn't know it was acceptable for
a preacher to speak that way." He
explains to her why they are dam
fish. Later at the dinner table, he
asks his son to pass the dam fish.
He responds, "That's the spirit,
Dad! Now pass the f*cking
potatoes!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-05 22:52:30

323 Views




John was looking for a little “action.”


He picked up a sweet young thing at the bar and took her back to his hotel room.


Little did he know she was darn near a nymphomaniac.


After six times, she was screaming for more. After the *eighth* time, John told her that he needed to slip out for a pack of cigarettes.


On the way out, he stopped in the men’s room. He stood in front of the urinal, unzipped, and felt a moment of panic when he couldn’t find “it.”


After a couple of minutes of “fishing around,” he finally said, “Look, it’s okay. She’s not here!”Related

holy toasting [Read it]


Holy Toasting...!
Boy: do you have a boyfriend?
Girl: No. I don’t want a boyfriend.
Boy: Genesis 2:18 “The Lord God
said, ‘It is not
good for the man to be alone. I will
make a helper
suitable for him’.”
Girl: But I don’t love you.
Boy: 1 John 4:8 "Whoever does not
love, does not
know God, because God is love.”
Girl: So how do I discern that your
words are true?
Boy: Matthew 12:34b “For the mouth
speaks what
the heart is full of."
Girl: But how can I be sure that you
are faithful
and honest?
Boy: Mark 13:31 “Heaven and earth
will pass away,
but my words will never pass away."
Girl: But why me? There are so many
girls out
there.
Boy: Proverbs 31:29 “Many women
do noble
things, but you surpass them all!”
Girl: But what do you see in me, that
makes you
love me?
Boy: Song of Songs 4:7 " You are
altogether
beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw
in you."
Girl: But really, I’m not that beautiful
… you’re
exaggerating.
Boy: Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is
deceptive, and
beauty is fleeting; but a woman who
fears the Lord
is to be praised.”
Girl: What will happen if I say yes?
Boy: Genesis 2:24 “That is why a
man leaves his
father and mother and is united to
his wife, and
they become one flesh."
Girl: How is it that you know so many
Scriptures?
Boy: Joshua 1:8 “Keep this Book of
the Law always
on your lips; meditate on it day and
night, so that
you may be careful to do everything
written in it.
Then you will be prosperous and
successful. "
Girl: Wooow, I can see you really
love God.
Boy: Psalm 34:8 “Taste and see that
the Lord is
good; blessed is the one who takes
refuge in Him!”
Girl: Hmmm. Ok please just give me
some time to
think about this.
Boy: Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers
and sisters,
whatever is true, whatever is noble,
whatever is
right, whatever is pure, whatever is
lovely,
whatever is admirable—if anything is
excellent or
praiseworthy—think about such
things."
Girl: owwww I love you already
Boy: Revelations 22:21b "Amen."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-19 10:09:46

379 Views




For a long time Akpos has been battling
with a leak in his roof. One night there was
a very heavy down pour, he had to move
from one corner of his house to the other
to avoid drops from his roof. This made
him have sleepless night.
The next morning he decided to fix his
roof, after scouting for ladder in his
neighbourhood, he tried to climb to the
roof. Climbing wasn't easy, he panted and
sweated but successfully climbed to the
roof, as he was about to fix the damage, he
heard a knock on his door. He yelled from
the top of his voice; "who is that?"HIS friend Biodun showed up at the
ground and said, "excuse me, can I see u?"
Akpos asked "what is it you want to tell
me?" Biodun said,"just spare me one
minute".
Akpos climbed back to the ground, looking
tired and asked "what can I do for you?"
biodun said "can u give me N50?"
Akpos thought for a while and said
"FOLLOW ME".
The two of them started climbing to the
roof, panting and gasping for breath, they
got to the roof, after panting for one
minute Akpos turned to the biodun and
said "I DON'T HAVE"

ONE WORD FOR AKPOS


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-25 11:21:55

284 Views




One night a man came to our house and told me, “There is a family with eight children. They have not eaten for days,” I took some food and I went. When I finally came to the family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured by hunger. There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces, just the deep pain of hunger. I gave the rice to the mother. She divided it in two, and went out, carrying half the rice with her. When she came back, I asked her, “Where did you go?” She gave me this simple answer, “To my neighbors-they are hungry also.”

I was not surprised that she gave–because poor people are generous. But I was surprised that she knew they were hungry. As a rule, when we are suffering, we are so focused on ourselves we have no time for others.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Strip club [Read it]


A wife treats her husband by taking him to a strip club for his birthday.
At the club, the doorman says, “Hi Jim, how are you?”
The wife asks, “How does he know you?”
Jim says, “Oh dear, I play football with him.”
Inside the Bartender Says, “The Usual, Jim?”
Jim says to Wife, “Before you say anything, He’s on the Darts team.”
Next a stripper Says, “Hi Jim! Do you crave the special again?”
The Wife storms out dragging Jim with her & jumps into a taxi.
The Taxi driver Says, “Hey Jimmy boy!You picked up an ugly one this time…”
Jim’s Funeral is on Sunday!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-22 05:48:23

715 Views





- EKAETTE: I will die.
AKPOS: I will also die
EKAETTE: Why will you die?
AKPOS: Because I can't bear that much happiness.

- AKPOS: Olodo, oya what is 2 x 2?
OCHUKO: Very easy, that is 22 now.
AKPOS: Fool, I thought you won't know that simple one too.

- TEACHER: What's the difference between a Mother's & a Girlfriend's tears?
AKPOS: Mother's tears "AFFECT Our HEART"
while a Girlfriend's tears "AFFECT Our POCKET

- AKPOS: What's in between your legs?
EKAETTE: Hell
AKPOS: I am a Sinner and I'm ready to go to Hell.

- AKPOS: If u saw a N1000 & a N500 note, which would you pick?
OCHUKO: N1000 of course.
AKPOS: No wonder you are Poor, can't u pick both?

- AKPOS: I have FB, Twitter, Badoo, Yahoo, Tumblr, Msn, Skype & Keek…
OCHUKO: Wow, do you have a Life?
AKPOS: No, Pls send me the link

- OCHUKO: Why was your Father hugging you the other time?
AKPOS: My Mom told him to "Embrace his Mistakes"

- TEACHER: Tell us the Weather forecast for tonight please.
AKPOS: Tonight is going to be DARK

- MAMA: Why are u taking the Dog along with u to Church?
AKPOS: Our Pastor said every living thing must come & serve the Lord

- EKAETTE: I need Love, Romance, Care & Affection.
AKPOS: I don't think so
EKAETTE: Meaning?
AKPOS: I think you need Jesus

- OCHUKO; You be Gay?
AKPOS; God forbid, I would rather be a Fag

- AKPOS was told to follow his dreams, so he
signed in to Twitter & has been searching for his Dreams ever since.

- EKAETTE: If I were your Wife, I would put Poison in your Coffee
AKPOS: if I were your husband I would drink it.

- TEACHER: Who is a Breadwinner?
AKPOS: Anyone who wins Bread in a competition

- AKPOS: My wife always gives me Sound Advice.
OCHUKO: Wow, really?
AKPOS: Yes, 99% Sound, 1% Advice.

- OCHUKO was serving everyone at his
Mother's Burial but ignored his best friend,
AKPOS: Ochuko, don't forget that my
mother will also die soon.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-21 11:36:20

834 Views



Online Love [Read it]


Girl: Dad,I’m in love with a boy who is far away from me. I’m in Ghana and he lives in the UK. We met on a dating website, became friends on facebook, had long chats on whatsapp, proposed to each other on skype, and now 2 months of relationship through viber, i need your blessings and good wishes daddy


Dad : Really! Then get married on twitter, have fun on tango. Buy your kids on e-bay, send them through gmail. And if you are fed up with your husband…. sell him on Tonaton.com


Lwkm!!!!! sure Dad!!. no be soo


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-27 11:24:06

450 Views



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