Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Joke Of the Year –



In Class



20 Min Before Exam GIRLS –



Girl 1 – Haaye .20min Bache hai Exam main .. haldi ghati ki ladayi 1576 mai huyi thi , haldi ghati ki ladayi 1576 mai huyi thi (5 times)



Girl 2 (rote huve) – maine sare chapter sirf 5 baar revise kiye hain,, main fail Ho jaungi…



Girl 3 ( bahot rote Huve) – maine sirf 3 baar revise kiye



Girl 4 – ruk.. zara ye notes ek baar aur revise kar leti hu , ye bahot important hai



20 Min Before Exam Boys –



Boy 1 – tere bhai ne 5 farray toilet main chipka diye hai aur 2 pani k tanki k pass



Boy 2 – mai 2 baar khasunga .. tu meri taraf dekhna .. main 3 baar palak jhapkaunga 3rd question k liye ..



Boy 3 – 2 Farray yahan chipka aur 3 udhar wali bench k niche ,



Boy 4 – Lohe ka compas laya hai meine aur usme bahut sare farray hai , ye le loha chummak jake teri lohe ki bench k niche chipka de



Boy 5 – Ganpat Sir ki Duty Lagni chahiye .. apne yaar hain wo ..Related

2014 was a sexy year:

Ek-ek ko choda – 1/1/14

Ek saath choda – 1/7/14

Sath mein choda – 7 May 14

Do bara choda – 2/12/14

Bye Bye 2014

Have an enjoyable new year 2015!Related

Akpos went into a supper market to buy something
He meet a charming, pretty, sexy lady wearing a hot mini skirt shopping.
Immediately, his head busted. He summoned courage to approach her.
"Hi, why a pretty girl like you shopping alone in this big shopping mall?" asked Akpos.
"I came to buy some toiletries for myself" replied the lady.
"You are such a beautiful girl, Am Akpos by name. what about you?"
"Am Linda a university student."
"Ooooo! such a lovely name by a lovely angel, in short take what ever you like i will pay"
"Really?"
"Yes"
The girl started parking anything she can lay her hands on while Akpos was helping her to push the shopping cart.
Akpos nearly got crazy when the young lady bend down to pick an item.
Akpos was blindfolded by her charming body to the extent that he doesn`t know what the girl has picked so far.
At the point of payment, the cashier was removing the item one by one.
When the cashier brought out a wrist watch wort of N15,000, Akpos eyes cleared.
As the cashier was about to bring out the next item, Akpos saw a laptop and shouted "Can somebody hold me before i faint."
cashier "Why?"
I have only N1000.




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-16 17:37:46

41894 Views




If i said we didn’t end the night with sex that means am lying, she called for it and i couldn’t say no to her, i realized what led to it was her teasing me that i was a bad guy, i asked about the guy in her life and she told me she has never felt love before, the one and only person she ever fall in love with was the guy that disvirgined her in SS3. She kissed me passionately and i gave her a perfect sex because she asked me to suck her pussy which i did willingly to her satisfaction, there was no condom so i had to do it raw, she was even surprise that i had much energy like that just as she rested on me and we both slept off on each other’s arm….
Mary was back on Monday and just as SK promised, i started feeling on easy after eating in the afternoon, the next thing i noticed was on a bed that looks like hospital bed, i was looking around but my eyes was not so clear at the initial stage, i saw four other beds with different people on them, i was still trying to figure out where i was until someone shouted “he is awake”, “ call the doctor he is awake”, A lady in a white gown walked in…
Nurse: Praise the lord…..Thank you jesus, God answered our prayer finally
Me: Where am i?
Nurse: You are in a hospital….
Me: I know but where am i?
Nurse: Benin City, don’t worry, this is not the right time to talk, we need to administer some drugs on you right now since you are awake, maybe by tomorrow or day after you can start asking questions…
Me: I hope am safe? I want to start going home…please, they will kill me if they know am here
Nurse: Nobody will kill you don’t wory, in fact the police are on your case and we will tell them you are now awake and i know they will provide security for you…don’t worry Sir, i know you also have a lot of questions but all will be answered, the most important thing for you now is not to worry about anything
“I started crying”
Nurse: Dont cry please, lemme call and inform the doctor…….
A female doctor came in not quite long, they stop the drip that was on me and told me the best thing for me was to eat a tangible food, they sent someone rice and i was told that they will still need to pass blood into me as i have lost a lot of blood……
Waking up the second day i felt a lot better and a bit strong, i asked the doctor that was attending to me if i can get a phone to make a call to my parent, a phone was given to me, i called my mum and Biola, i could imagine how they felt on phone hearing my voice, my mum was dancing on phone, i asked them to help me with some cloth on their way coming to Benin……I was told have been unconscious for nine days and i shouted
The IPO in charge of my case later walked in like an hour later
IPO: How are you feeling now
Me: Am fine…
IPO: What is your name Sir?
Me: I am snakie……..
IPO: Okay..you are from where?
Me: Am from Lagos?
IPO: where in Lagos? Your address
Me: Egbeda Sir……Please how did i get here sir because if i could recollect, i was in Naoka the last time i was conscious
IPO: Well our men in that location intercepted some girls who were trying to drop you by the bush about two weeks ago, they exchanged gun duel along the line, one of our men was killed and 3 of the girls was killed too while one was captured alive
Me: That is good sir..which one of them was captured alive sir
IPO: She’s a bit tall and slim…….
Me: “thinking it might be SK”…okay sir
IPO: we will seriously need you to aid our investigation because we believe there are still other of them at large because the girl claimed that she was not part of them and that she was also kidnapped along you…She said you guys were in the same room when you died or something, she was shot on the arm though and she has been treated. You will help us identify them so, which means you might not be able to go home so soon once doctor confirmed that you are fully fit….
Me: No problem sir….
IPO: What transaction do you have with the people that kidnapped you?
Me: Well, i was kidnapped on my wedding day and one of those girls was my ex girlfriend which i didn’t even know she belong to a bad group, she was bittered that i didn’t Marry her but how will i marry her when she was carrying another man’s pregnancy
IPO: which one of this is the girl you are talking about
“showed me the pictures of Opa, Flaky and Mary, i was so sure at that instant that SK was the one that they didn’t kill”
Me: This one, her name is Mary, I know her parent house in Lagos and my family can corroborate my story Sir……Some guys came to my house at night on my wedding day, they disguised as a CID and dragged me to their car with assumption that they were taking me to a police station, the next thing i saw was waking up in a lonely room, i was told they drug me in their car and drove me all the way from Lagos to Naoka that night….
IPO: That is good, i think we are getting somewhere……Have you contacted your people?
Me: Yes of course…
IPO: So, aside this 3 girls, was there any other people in that area? Like the guys that came to kidnap you at home?
Me: Though i do hear guys voice from the room i was locked in with Simbiat
IPO: Who is Simbiat?
Me: The other lady that they kidnapped us together, i met her at the place though, she was there before me. I didn’t see any other guys except those 3 girls that always come into the room to check on us
IPO: But doctor confirmed that you were given a drug which makes you unconscious
Me: Am not aware of that, all i remember was eating that fateful afternoon and waking up here…
IPO: Thanks very much, i think we have heard enough for now but we will still need you at the station once you are certified okay
Me: No problem sir
IPO: I think we will be taking our leave now doctor
Doctor: thank you so much officer…
They all left the room, My mum, dad and Biola arrived hospital later in the evening, Biola hugged me and couldn’t control her emotions as i started crying too….




NAIRAJOKES.COM




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There are variety of acts ladies display when
they visit guys, and they want to avoid s*x just
to protect their dignity. In fact, 80% of ladies
are guilty of these acts As a matter of fact, some of them will still fall
prey grin Lemme keep the ball rolling cool#AoN 1. She Insists You Keep The Door Wide Open A lady visited me yesterday “gbaaaam”, na so I
lock door. The lady stood up immediately and
demanded I opened the door, saying she was
suffocating of heat. For inside rain ? Haba nawa
ooooo. I bet she didn’t trust me grin 2. She Tells Her Friend To Keep Ringing Her Up If you are a very good observer, I trust you
might have noticed it. Once she starts seeing
your moves, she will PING or send her friend a
on Whatsapp/BBM, that she should do the
needful. Suddenly, her fone will start ringing at
intervals, she will pick and start begging the person to kindly give her 5minutes to show up 3. She Suddenly Says She’s Going Home Someone intended to spend 3hours with you;
she had barely spent 45mins, and starts
heading towards the door when she notices
your boxers is having a different shape, she
says “my mom should be expecting me by
now cos I told her I wouldn’t stay long” 4. She Refuses To Sit Down There was a time a junior college of mine paid
me a visit. She entered into my room and
refused to sit on the chair or bed. Babe sit
down for bed na, she no gree; oyah sit down
for chair den, she no gree; oyah sit down on
top rug den, she no gree oooo… Could you believe this lady said she was comfortable and
stood for nearly 30 minutes 5. She Tells You She’s On Her Period This is very common. One even asked for the
toilet, saying she wanted to change her pad.
Immediately, I begin para like person wey
breeze blow him original Bsc certificate for
inside gutter 6. She Acts Like She’s So Much Interested In watching A Movie Even if the movies is very boring, they will
focus on the movie as if they are writing their
final year exam grin 7. She Says She Doesn’t Visit Guys In the course of discussion, she will tell you
that you are the first guy that she will be
stepping her feet into his room. This is to signal
to you that courtesy demands you don’t initiate
s*x 8. She Wears Tight A Jean Trouser This is another way ladies try to secure
themselves. Those who are not too sure of
themselves will wear a jean trouser that will be
as tight as escaping from Kirikiri grin 9. She Brings Her Friend Along She never told you prior to her arrival that she
will be coming with a friend. She suddenly
showed up with her friend. It’s just one of
those things grin 10. She Pretends To Be fasting Even if she’s not, she will pretend to be fasting
in a bid to signal to you that No show at all.
Funny enough, some of them will mistakenly
eat bubble gum grin Feel free to add yours Have fun cool#AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-21 11:29:55

425 Views




Having a sister is like having a best friend you can’t get rid of. You know whatever you do, they’ll still be there.

-Amy LiRelated

I am always looking for meaningful one night stands.

~ Dudley MooreRelated

Leonardo DiCaprio’s first onscreen kiss was with a man in the movie “Total Eclipse” with British actor David Thewlis. The movie depicts the passionate relationship between 19th century French poet Arthur Rimbaud (DiCaprio) and his older mentor Paul Verlaine.Related

On a condom dispensing machine, it was written “Very Safe – Strictly made as per High British standards”.

Someone added below- ” So was the Titanic, but it leaked.”Related

::::::::********::::::::::
The room seemed tensed. I felt the earth stoped revolving
in its orbit, the gravitational pull slacking its grip on me. I
tried not to move, cos I feared I might float.
She too returned my gaze, she tried to shape out words but
there was no sound. She gave up trying to speak, she let her
tears flow freely instead.
"Maami..." I found my voice after much struggle.
As if suddenly drawn by a cord, Maria rushed at me, locking
me in a tight motherly embrace.
"I'm sorry..." was all she could mutter as she wept.
I swallowed hard. I saw the softness in her eyes, the
motherly love printed all over her face. I wondered if she
actually was my step-mother.
"I never knew I would ever see you again." she whispered
looking me all over admiringly.
I tried to speak, but my tongue cleaved to the roof of my
mouth. I was so overwhelmed by the love she was
bestowing on me. So I really mean something to her?
Maybe she never hated me, I was just been naughty while I
was younger.
"Thank God you're alive." she said softly, hugging me.
"I'm sorry for what we did to you, please..."
"No..don't" I stopped her
"Please forgive us." she persisted.
"I didn't hold any grudges against you, you didn't wrong
me." I wiped her tears.
"I love you my daughter, I really do." she hugged me for the
tenth time.
"me too." I forced a wry smile.
"what about Baami? Where's he?" I asked looking around.
Maria's face dropped, she looked away.
"Maami?" I peered at her
she didn't reply, she just shook her head painfully.
I turned to look at David who was watching us all this while,
he looked sad.
"What's happening?" I whispered to myself.
Why were they all looking sad? I racked my brain.
David took my hands gently squeezing them.
"You have to take heart." his voice was low
"What heart should I take?" I was trying my best to believe
all was well.
"Your...I'm..sorry Teju, he...he..passedaway...few months
after you disappeared." He stammered.
"Just like that?" I heard myself say
"He suffered a stroke the day you left, and was bedridden
till he passed on two month's after." David explained slowly,
tightening his grip.
I sighed slowly, I wanted to scream, but couldn't. How could
he die just like that? Without a word?
"So I'm responsible for his death!" Tears blurred my vision.
"Teju, don't talk like that." Maria said soothingly.
"He left without a word. Maybe he never forgave me.
Maybe he left full of pains and hatred for me." I reeled
towards Maria.
She held me tight. I felt sweat trickling down my face. I felt a pang
of pain in my head, I knew it came from my brain. My
eyes shut gently despite my efforts to keep them open.
Everything was wrong with my body. I screamed, my body
shook convulsively. I heard Eniola's cry, David said
something, but their voices was distant, I was far-gone
WOULD YOU BLAME TEJU FOR HER FATHER'S DEATH?



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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One fine day, a billionaire was walking his dog.

Suddenly a man ran out from the bushes in front of him and shot the poor dog three times.

The billionaire screamed at the killer, “Why did you do that?”.

The killer answered, “Your wife gave me $50,000 and said to “Go kill that son-of-a-bitch””.

The billionaire hugged the killer & said ……………… !!

“I don’t know who your English teacher was, but I am forever grateful to her.”Related

Why do pubic hair never grey and hair on head turn grey?
Because utte sochan hi sochan te thale moujan hi moujan.Related

BROKEN SEAL
Episode 9

Ella: i’m sorry.
*walks away*
WTF, now this is the greatest
disappointment and
embarassment that have ever
been thrown my way.
For the first time, i wish the
street lights went off, even for
atleast 10minutes.
I was hearing laughters of
mockery around me, i heard
this conversation clearly……
Guy1: poor dude, he want to
have his way with her…..
Guy2: yeah hahahahaha, i
know its ‘coz shes quite
popular as a presenter
hahahahahaha.
Mtcheeeew, i felt like picking
up a fight with them but
decided against it, i ran after
Ella instead.
Me: Ella please wait!!!
Ella: (halt;leaning on a car,
arms folded) hahahahahah you
need to see the expression on
your face.
Me: (what do you expect? That
i’d throw a party?) huh? How
was it like?
Ella: (making funny faces) you
know, from the day that i first
met you, though it wasn’t in a
perfect scenario.
I experienced this warmth and
joy in me, reason i always love
hanging out with you.
The feeling is soooo special
and unique, i love you Isaiah,
yes i’d be your GIRLFRIEND!!!
I was only kidding earlier.
Me: (happy! Can’t believe this)
you almost gave me a heart
attack, that kind of joke can
send someone to hell.
I love you too Ella, the love i
have for you is immeasurable
as the expanse of the sky, and
unending as the countless stars
above us (pointing)
the stars and the moon above
are witnesses of this day and
my love for you!
Ella: (smiling) i love you more
and i’d always do.
We hugged tightly for the first
time.
The hug lasted for minutes, yes
i didn’t use a timer, it may
have actually been for seconds,
but i felt it lasted for decades.
We walked to the car, i could
see the disappointment
broadly written on the faces of
some on-lookers.
We arrived Ella’s home in few
minutes, i stayed there for
hours having a nice time,
before leaving for home when
it was few minutes past 1am.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Isabella: issshhhh
wouuuuch….easy please.
*i was using some ice on her
red swollen arm and cheek*
Me: does it hurt?
Isabella: i should give you a
punch so you can appreciate
what i’m feeling.
Me: next time, you wouldn’t
drink again!!! You’ar lucky
samuel came to your rescue.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My relationship with Ella grew
stronger every passing day, our
love for each other kept
magnifying for each passing
second of our lives.
Today is a special day in my
world, a day i dedicate to my
late grandma.
I call it my ‘world eating day’
do you know why?
My grandma was the first to
teach me how to cook, and she
happen to die on this very
date, years ago.
I won’t celebrate today alone
its gonna be flavored with
Ella’s presence.
I chose the location myself,
bought all the edibles i wanted
for picnic before going to
Ella’s house.
I was just in time, she just
finished laundry.
We took permission from her
mum, Ma’am Kate.
Yeah ma’am kate know about
us and shes in support of our
relationship.
I took Ella to the garden, it
was beautifully decorated with
different flowers and royal
palms.
I decorated the place where
Ella and I would be seating,
with red rossed that formed a
big love shape.
I went to where i had hidden
my stuffs and brought out a
basket containing hamburger,
some sandwiches, cookies,
water melon and so on.
Me: your eyes closed, miss.
**she obeyed**
I took a bitable piece of
sandwich and urged her to
open her mouth, which she
obliged, i put the sandwich in
there.
Me: hey don’t bite me……guess
whats in your mouth, eyes still
closed.
Ella: uhm….panini, monte
cristo, pizza, sandwich?
Me: i didn’t put all those in
your mouth, choose one!
Ella: i go for sandwich.
Me: yeah yeah yeah you got
that right, you’ar so good with
food huh?
Ella: can i open my eyes now?
Me: as you wish my lady.
Ella: what!!! You must be
kidding me, didn’t you say you
gat home mades? Which of
these isn’t factory processed?
Me: ……
Ella: (standing up) you’d get it
from me today!!!
*we both started running in
circles, it was fun!!! She finally
caught me-i allowed that*
Ella: only one thing would save
you, you’d have to climb up
there, (pointing to a short tree)
and get me a stick of pink rose.
I did ASAP love is crazy!!!!!!!!
Me: here you go cinderella.
Ella: wow thanks, do you know
that rose speaks in the
language only love
understands?
Me: it does?
Ella: yeah, listen and interprete
(taking the rose to my ear)
Me: it says Ella love me!
Ella: wrong it says Ella loveeee
(stressing ‘love’) you!!
Me: hmmmm, love you more!
The picnic was fun all through.

>>

Map reading [Read it]


The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude…?"

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-14 11:25:42

706 Views




To this day I can’t tell you what we talked
about on that bench, but we began to sit
closer together, her leg touching mine. The
sight of her sweat-soaked shirt sticking to her
body, the outlines of the bra she wore so
evident, her b??bs so prominent, standing
like an offering to be taken on top of her
chest made my c?ck begin to tingle and grow.
I was hard. I was harder than I had ever been
in my life. My c?ck was straining to get out of
my shorts, and I knew how visible it was.
Dammy placed her hand on my leg and
leaned towards me, seemingly unsure of
herself. I closed my eyes and kissed her. A
slow, soft kiss. She pulled back and looked at
me, but didn’t say anything. Then she placed
her hands behind my head and came to me
again, and we kissed hard and passionately.
She began rubbing my aching c?ck through
my shorts, and I moaned in response. I slid
my arm underneath the back of her wet t-
shirt and rubbed her back. She lifted off my
shirt, and kissed my chest, sucking on my n?
pples before returning to my mouth. I
moved my hand around to the front of her
shirt and felt her huge b??bs through her bra.
Then I went lower, massaging her crotch. She
felt so hot between her legs, and even
through her tight jean shorts I swear I could
feel her wetness.
Suddenly she got down on her knees on the
floor as I sat on the bench. She undid my
shorts and slid them down to my ankles, my
c?ck springing out and almost hitting her in
the face. She took it in her hands and stroked
it as she buried her face into my balls,
tonguing me, licking me…then she slowly
dragged her tongue up my shaft, looking into
my eyes as she did. I couldn’t take my eyes
off her. I could tell I was about to get the
best blow of my life, and Dammy never
looked better than she did right now with my
c?ck in her warm hands. She let some spit
drop from her gaping mouth onto my
throbbing tool, and used it to moisten my
shaft. She continued stroking me, working it
in, and then she poised her lips at the top of
my c?ck, teasing the head. She plunged down
slowly and I savoured every second. Inch by
inch she took me into her mouth, and I
watched as nearly my entire seven inches
disappeared. Then she pressed her lips even
tighter around me as she slid back up my
shaft, her hand firmly gripped around the
base. She stroked me and told me how
beautiful my c?ck was…she looked into my
eyes as she sucked me like that some more.
She slapped my meat against her cheeks, and
then devoured me again. She licked my shaft
and massaged my balls, telling me she
wanted me to c?m. I was getting pretty close
to that point, but I desperately wanted this to
last. Dammy really knew how to suck c?ck…
who knew? She stopped for a second and took
her shirt off. She had the biggest t?ts I had
ever seen except for in dirty movies and
such. She unsnapped her bra and they spilled
out. Her n?pples were big and hard. Her
aureola were a deep brown color. I sat up so
I could touch them. I squeezed them
together, played with her erect n?pples, and
begged for her to let me kiss them. But she
told me to sit back again and I was in no
mood to argue.
I laid back and she brought her heavy br?asts
to my c?ck. She picked them up with her
hands and pulled them apart, placing my rigid
c?ck between them, and then squeezing them
together. My d?ck was still wet from her
sucking, and so I began to move my hips, f?
cking her t?ts. Then she released my c?ck
from her br?ast’s pillowy grip and continued
sucking me. She only put about two inches
into her mouth, sucking the head very hard,
and used her hand to jerk me off. I began to
moan as I could feel my balls tighten. She
moved her mouth to my balls, sucking them
into her mouth as she stroked me quickly,
then suddenly she began probing my ?ss with
her finger. It sent me over the edge. I
announced I was going to explode….She
immediately returned to my c?ck, slamming
her face into me harder than ever, her hand
wrapped around the base making circular
jerking motions. I yelled again that I was
going to c?m, but she didn’t relent. I
exploded with a vengeance, it felt like the
largest load I had ever released, but she kept
sucking me, jerking me. Wave after wave of
c?m I spewed into her mouth, and finally I
could see a thick gob of it running out of her
mouth down my shaft. It was too much for
her to swallow, but God love her, she tried.
As my ?rgasm subsided she took her mouth
off my c?ck. I could see the stringy goo
gathered in her mouth, sticking to her teeth.
She licked my tool clean, making sure to get
the stuff she didn’t take in the first time. I
felt as if I was in a daze…I was sweating
terribly even though I barely moved from
the bench. She kissed my c?ck and stroked it
softly. She asked me if I enjoyed that and I
said I did…and I mentally thanked my uncle
to myself.
Dammy sat on the bench again beside me
and we kissed. I could taste my own salty goo
mixed with her saliva. I stood up and in front
of her, my half hard c?ck swinging. She
looked at me and smiled, and said she
wanted more of that. This time I knelt down
on the patio, and unbuttoned her tight shorts.
She helped me lower them off her wide hips,
and I slid them completely off revealing a
soaking wet pair of white panties that did
little to hide the fat hairy p?ssy underneath. I
rubbed my hand over her mound, and she
moaned softly. I leaned forward and kissed
her wet panties, she was so wet, I could taste
her sweet juices. I pushed her panties to the
side and slid a finger deep inside her.
She gasped. I began tonguing her cl?t. As I
alternated quick, light flicks of my tongue
with slow, firm, dragging movements
I inserted another finger into her hot damp
snatch. She was moaning wildly, her hands
placed firmly around my head holding it in
place. I looked up at her, and Dammy began
to look beautiful to me. I was seeing her in a
totally different light. Sure she was not very
pretty, but having my face buried into her
hot snatch seemed to have a positive effect
on her looks. I pulled back slightly and
removed her panties. She was so sopping wet
that her thick pubes were matted in her own
juices. I sucked each little tuft of p?ssy-
soaked pubic hair into my mouth. I used two
fingers to open her Arrow, and slowly licked
inside, all around her labia, sucking each one
into my mouth before licking some more. I
brought my other hand to my mouth and
licked it, and used it to rub her swollen clitt.
Dammy’s grip around my head tightened, “Eat
my p?ssy !!”, she hollered and pulled my face
into her hot crotch.
I buried myself into her, soaking my face
with her juices. I stuck my tongue deep into
her hole, probing around inside her as my
fingers continued playing with her clitt. Then
I used my fingers to Bleep her p?ssy as I
dragged my tongue all around her clitt,
occasionally sucking it into my mouth. She
began to buck her hips a little so I increased
my intensity. I could feel her p?ssy tightening
on my fingers…I lapped on it mercilessly. She
began to scream. I buried my face into her
hot snatch again, eager to taste her juices. I
continued rubbing her clitt with my fingers,
and she placed her hand on top of mine to
help. “I’m c?mming !!, I’m f?cking c?mming !!”,
she screamed like one pssessed, and I could
tell. She tasted so good right now, and I
continued to eat her out, wave after wave of
pleasure washing all over her till she was
begging me to stop.
I stood up with my c?ck in my hand. Without
saying a word she laid down on the bench, so
I got on top of her and slid my thick tool into
her easily. I f?cked her slowly, looking into
her eyes.
She wrapped her legs around me and stuck
her nails into my @ss, pulling me into her. I
continued to f?ck her harder, and she met
each thrust with one of her own, almost
lifting herself off of the bench. It wasn’t the
most comfortable places, but I wasn’t
complaining. She was so hot, so wet, I could
feel her juices splash onto my balls as I
began thrusting all of my WMD into her. Her
eyes widened…”God you are so big !!”, she
moaned.
I got up onto my knees, placing one foot on
the patio, and taking her legs in my hands. I
rolled her @ss up slightly, and placed her legs
on my shoulders. Now we could watch as my
rod speared her c?nt. I took my tool out of
her snatch and rubbed it on her clitt, then
slid it back into her. I got a good rhythm
going now, f?cking her slow and sure,
gradually getting harder and faster, my
sagging balls swaying back and forth
occasionally banging against her soft @ss.
Dammy began to rub her clitt now, and it
really turned me on to see a girl touching
herself while having a rod speared into her.

WATCH OUT FOR PART 3

If You Missed The Part 1, Read it

bribe [Read it]


YOUR SALARY is the BRIBE they give you to forget your dream... That's true and you know bribery is not good..whenever you collect your salary(bribe) just inbox me, I will give you my account details and you will send the bride to my bank account so you won't forget your dream
*CollectingBribeIsACorruption*
*iTellYouOoo*
*iAmShelizBoneCracker*


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-05-08 09:32:00

360 Views




one day as akpos was watching catoon with his mother he told her "mum do you know aunt is an angel?" her mother asked "how?!" then akpos replyed "aunt wanted to go to heaven yesterday without any cloth.i heard her saying 'oh my God,am coming again' if it was not for dad who was holding her from back also naked she was to go"her mother fainted


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-06 21:21:18

909 Views



akpos [Read it]


Akpos who was a houseboy usually sneaks into
his boss room, drinks his wine and adds water to
top it up. One day his Oga bought a new wine
called pasties, it was a french wine that changes
colour if water is added onto it. Akpos unaware of
this, sneaks into his Oga's room, drank the new
wine and added water on it. Immediately it
started changing colour.
Akpos: I am in trouble, big trouble. He ran to the
kitchen. Meanwhile, Oga and madam were sitted
in the parlour, while Akpos was in the kitchen.
OGA: Akpos
Akpos: Oga
OGA: who drank my pasties?
No answer!
OGA: Akpos, who drank my pasties?.
No answer. Oga walked to the kitchen and saw
Akpos there.
OGA: Are you insane or what?. Why when i call,
you say "Oga" but when i ask you a question you
don't answer me.
Akpos: Oga when you are in the kitchen you don't
understand anything, except your name.
OGA: Is that so?. Okay go to the parlour, stand
beside madam and ask me a question while i
stand here.
Akpos went and did what oga said.
Akpos: Ogaaaaaa
OGA: Yes Akpos
Akpos: Who goes into the maid's bedroom when
madam is not at home?.
No answer.
Akpos: Ogaaaaaa!!! You dey hear me, I say who
dey sneak enter the house girl room when madam
no dey house.
No answer. Oga runs out of the kitchen.
OGA: Wonders shall never end. Akpos, it is true o,
when one is in the kitchen, one does not hear
anything, except one's name.
MADAM: That's not true. It's a lie.
Akpos: Madam, do you want to be tested?
MADAM: Yes
Akpos: Oya enter the kitchen
She enters.
Akpos: Madam
MADAM: Yes Akpos
Akpos: Who is Junior's biological Father? Me or
Oga
Madam rushed out of the kitchen
MADAM: This kitchen needs to be fumigated o, I
can't understand anything at all.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-03 08:48:11

723 Views





AYOMIDE .......Episode 12
By Haryhomidey Enitan Komadan

I hurriedly called Olamide on my
mobile phone thay day
,and gist him about what francisca
told me as an answer,ohh,olamide started giving
me bad plans,which surpass the plans I have for
her already,those bad plans you will soon know
about...olamide come say he give me just four
days...make I use one of those four days to enter
this girl completely...make I give her the best
sex of her life,he told me he won't take me as
a confirm guy until I execute those plans,I too
wan dey form rubbish,the thing wey no go
Pay me...do you think olamide is a good friend?
Should I still continue to be a friend with him?
I started dating francisca on the 3rd of february 2014,we really show ourselves true
Love,and we enjoy ourselves very,don't quote
me wrong oo...I no mean "S#X" o...I mean normal enjoyment,though Francisca is too
demanding but I just wish I should do everything for her...I have what she wants
so is their any crime in giving her what
She needs??...I don't think giving Francisca
everything she needs is foolishness,
Francisca really loves me I know,she loves me
a lot,and francisca is a kind of girl who have
many female friends,they are really very tempting but I have been always controlling
myself,they are all sets of snatchers,I don't
really give them all any attention...
Like one day when Francisca invited me to
her house,Francisca house is really full of ladies,it is moreorless a brothel...but they are
all students sha,both responsible and irresponsible ones,they are the students who
Love to live off-campus,though francisca is one
of them but she is really responsible,one of the
responsible ones,hmm...the first day I visited
her,I really wanna fall into a big trap but thanks
Goodness I have some little knowledge about
Stuff like that....
Inside francisca room,she live with some other 3 girls...Esther,tomilola and bolanle by name,all these girls are beautiful,but none of
Them fit withstand my Francisca in a beauty
Contest sha....the most beautiful one between those three girls is Tomilola,her full name is
Ewatomilola,its a yoruba name,the yoruba people
Should know the meaning of that name,its a beautiful name...she is the closest to my sweet Francisca in terms of beauty but notwithstanding I still prefer Francisca more
than anyone of them...but still I can't take my
Eyes off her well built shape,her round pretty face and some other features in her...

>>

In my feeble state, I tread slowly to my car and drive to a hospital which I had sighted en
route to this awful place. As I drive, all that linger in my mind is the horrifying monster
that stole my virginity. In his best camouflage, I couldn’t detect instead I cowered to his
charms and wits and became a rape victim.
Almost at the hospital, I knew the poor standards of the hospital but I didn’t mind. I
hurriedly park my car and walk in. I am fortunate to meet a waiting doctor who quickly admits me. The administration of injection shot into my system takes me to slumber for
lot of hours.
As I rouse from sleep, the doctor is there waiting for me. He suggests I should make a
phone call to alert someone of my whereabouts. The only one I possibly can think of is
Askaline. I can’t speak to my mother, not in this state, it would only escalate. I recall
Askaline’s digit out of memory to the doctor as he write it down. He gives the digit to one of his nurses to make the call. “Nurse Kuukua, take this number
and call her to come immediately” he says.
“Okay Doctor, I will call right away” Nurse Kuukua responds.
After thirty minutes, Askaline comes throbbing with heavy heart, out of her right mind
that something had happened to me; she didn’t heard from me nor saw me last night.
The doctor is doing his usual checkups on his patients when she storms in. “Em! You must be Askaline?” The doctor quiz.
“Yes Doctor, someone called me that my friend; Merissa is admitted at Aseda Hospital so
I rushed over here leaving everything I was doing behind”
“Okay, that’s good; I made my nurse to put a call through to you. Follow me to my office
please.”
The doctor calls Askaline to his office and sits her down. “Your friend was attacked by a gang of rapist”
“Eh! What rapist?” Askaline flares
“Yes, and she is infected with Chlamydia Trachomatis”
“Doctor what is Chla-my-dia?” She stammers
“Chlamydia infection causes a patient to loses their reproductive organs and thus
infertility in women and leads to blindness if care is not taken” “Are you saying my friend’s womb is destroyed?”


>>

AKPOS AND KWAME [Read it]


AKPOS: Please, i am going to be needing #100,000 from you.... I promise to pay back with #120,000.
KWAME: What do you need the money for?
AKPOS: I want to buy an iPhone 6s for my ex on her birthday so as to win her back
KWAME: First, send me your psychiatric doctor's phone number


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-05 12:33:03

1358 Views




“I can do anything to free myself. Please just speak up” I pleaded. The detective shook his head, bit his lips and stared at me.

“hmmmm, if i’m unable to make any breakthrough within two days, you will have to harm yourself in a way that it will be impossible to put you up for trial. That’s the only way out” he said cautiously.

“wait a minute, I don’t understand. You mean i should harm myself?, in what way officer?” i asked with disbelief. He drew closer to me and squatted by my side.

“that’s the only way to escape trial for some days. I can smuggle in some pills that will knock you out. So instead of finding yourself in the courtroom, you will find yourself in the hospital. However it can be added to your charges but i believe your lawyer won’t have a hard time winning over the charge. But you also have to swear to keep your mouth shut if it comes to that. You know i can equally end up in prison over it” he said seriously, while i nodded.

I couldn’t even find the voice to talk. The plan was just so terrible to hear. Of course it was nothing but a sucidal plan. I knew the health implications of such deed, but it was a better option than prison. Seriously the detective was going out of line just to save a clueless lady like me. It wasn’t as if we paid him to help me. He simply was doing it for free.

As if he knew what was going through my mind. He reached out and held my hands.
“when i joined the force newly. A young male student was picked up by our patrol team some miles away from a Robbery scene. We all knew the boy was innocent but still held him just to prove a point that we were working. Unknown to us, the boy was asthmatic and as soon as he was thrown into the cell, his health condition go very bad and before we could run around. He died. Since that moment, i decided to help the innocent. But you see, in police work it’s not always easy to be on the right path because we all obey orders and answer to our superiors whether we like it or not” He said softly.

“you are a bright young woman but i’m afraid, if i fail to get good results. You will have to take your destiny in your hands. You will have to harm yourself. That’s the only thing that can buy us more time. Yes you will try committing suicide but I’ll be right on time to save your life. Anyway let’s pray it doesn’t come to that” he concluded and stood up while my head swelled with thoughts.

“God please don’t allow things to get that bad. Don’t allow me to try out suicide as an option” i prayed softly.

It was such a difficult moment and decision to take. However i still had two days which was enough time for a miracle to happen

>>

A pastor and a church sister were being
Intimate under a tree.
They did not know that Akpos was
up on the tree hiding


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-02 08:58:34

153 Views



NEPA Wahala!!! [Read it]


Na so i comot wit annoyance 4 my house 2 NEPA office 2 report 2 months witout light in my street.As i enter d office i come realize say na Generator dem dey use 4 dia office!,if na u weting u go do?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-18 17:48:00

517 Views




I have seen three emperors in their nakedness, and the sight was not inspiring.

-Otto von BismarckRelated

Love Handles [Read it]


One day as Monica Lewinsky was walking along the
beach awaiting her Senate
trial testimony, she came upon an ornate bottle that
had washed up on
shore. Curious, she picked it up, brushed off the
sand, and lo and behold a genie popped out. "Greetings, Miss Lewinsky," the genie said. "Since
you have released me,
I will grant you one wish." "Well," Monica replied, "I'm going to be on
television alot for a while,
and I want to look my best. I wish you would get
rid of these love
handles." "Your wish is my command," said the genie. A wave
of his hands, a puff of
smoke... And her ears promptly fell off.#AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-16 10:03:43

688 Views




Sex is the only game which is never abandoned by bad light.Related

Doctor Akpos opened a new clinic. He wrote
on it; Any treatment is 10,000 Naira, and if I cannot treat you, I will
pay you 20,000 Naira. A man wanting the 20,000 Naira for himself, went to Akpos; Doctor, I can’t feel any taste. I lost my sense of taste. Akpos then ask one of his nurses
to give him a few drops of medicine from box 22. Upon taking the drops, the man
shouted; It is urine o o o! Doctor Akpos said; Congratulations, your sense of
taste is back. The man was very angry that he lost his 10,000 Naira. He came
back two weeks later, determined to get 20,000
Naira. He said to Doctor Akpos, I lost my memory. The Doctor Akpos smiled and called; Nurse!
Please give this man some drops of medicine from box 22. The man shouted;
Wait doctor! But that medicine is for sense of taste. The Doctor Akpos said;
Congratulations, your memory is back. The man fainted



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-03 19:54:56

2133 Views




One morning while making breakfast, Santa walked up to his wife and pinched her on her butt and said, “You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle.”

While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence. The next morning Santa woke his wife with a pinch on the breast and said, “You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra.”

This was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. With a death grip in place she said, “You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the pool man and your brother.Related

She held onto Rahul, holding him tightly and then put her leg across him, squeezing him further. He turned towards her and started placing small kisses on her forehead, both eyes, nose and cheeks.

She tried to offer her lips, but he avoided them, kissing her ear and side of her neck. She kept her eyes closed and tried to move her face to catch his lips with her lips, but he kept on avoiding her.

She held onto him tightly as he tried to move away from her. At the same time, she could feel someone trying to pull her away from Rahul.

"Mommy .. mommy .. mommy!" She opened her eyes. She was sleeping on her side holding the pillow tightly and Prince was trying to wake her up.

"Dammit! That was a dream" She woke up and face palmed. Prince climbed into her lap and and pulled her hands away and looked into her eyes.

She hugged him tightly, thanking God for giving her such a wonderful gift.

She tried to recollect the events from before night, but drew a blank after the party. She remembered getting drunk to make Rahul mad, but wasn't sure how she ended up in her bed. She was sure Rahul took care of her and brought her home safely. She realized, she owed him an apology for her behavior and wanted to thank him for taking care of her.

Though she has been infatuated with him from day one, their relationship had been rocky. She was sure he was not the right person for her and had been trying hard to ignore him and kept her distance from him, but with every passing day, he has been growing big in her heart.

She was afraid that Rahul would not like prince, but seeing the way Rahul was bonding with prince, her love and respect for him grew even more. The infatuation was turning to love

She finished her early morning routine and moved towards Rahul's room. She decided to surprise him, so turned the door knob slowly, opened the door and stepped inside.

She immediately realized her mistake. Rahul was sitting on the sofa and Ria stood naked in front of him. A designer dress was lying in a pool around her feet. She was showing him all her wedding selections.

"How dare you entered without knocking? Did you see that Rahul? " Ria screamed at Ana covering her chest with her hands.

"I am really sorry" Ana mumbled and bolted out of the room. Ria's accusation didn't hurt her. Finding Rahul in front of a naked Ria, hurt her more.

"Ana, I was searching for you all over the mansion. Mandy is looking for you." Ahmed informed her, as she rushed out of Rahul's room.

"I am on my way." Ana replied turning her face away from him to hide her pain and hurried over to Mandy's room.

Rahul heard Ria scream and came back to reality, but it was too late. Ana already left the room.

He looked at Ria and wondered if her boobs were real. She had a great body, but somehow he never got attracted to her. She has been tormenting him for the last one hour, putting on different dresses and forcing him for an opinion.

Though he was physically present in the room, his mind was elsewhere. He was still thinking about Ana and was regretting his decision to put her in her room, instead of taking her to his bedroom, the night before. He so much wanted to do it, but being a gentleman, he couldn't take advantage of her, she was drunk and unconscious.

His mind was still filled up with Ana's images from the day before and was looking for opportunities to escape from Ria's torture.

Ria was not the shy type and had been flaunting her curves to him every chance she got. But no matter how many curves she got, something was missing, it was not working on him. One look at Ana, even with clothes, made his heart go gaga and his testosterone levels shoot up. There was something about Ana, probably her innocence, that made her so attractive. He had same feeling with his Halloween sweetheart and his heart was still trapped with her.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Jeremy was panting. His blazing, tear eyes locked to his father’s. “You kept this from me,” he accused.

“I’m sorry, son. So sorry. I’ve wronged you.” Edwin gave him a look of contrition and hurried to be close with him. Edwin opened his arms wide, Jeremy welcomed the embrace. “My boy, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.”

Jeremy sniffed, he tears fell down, freely. “Papa, why did you not tell me?” he felt betrayed. “No secrets between us. Why?”

Edwin patted his son. “Shhh. My boy. Its okay. I’ll tell you everything.” He clung to him, never wanting to let go. He regretted not telling him.

After several minutes, Edwin let go of his son. “Lets sit.” He took him by the hand and led him to the sofa. They both sat. Edwin looked his son in the eye. “How did you get to know? Who told you?”

Jeremy dried his tears with the back of his hand. “Dr. Allan. I forced him to vomit all he knew about your situation. It was quite difficult. But after I told him you wanted to know, he finally confessed. You swore him to secrecy? Even from your own son?” He was still having a hard time to come to terms with that.

Edwin looked sorry. “I didn’t want that. I could have shared my heath condition with you, but I didn’t knw how you’d take it. We lost your mum not too long ago and now, you’d be losing me. I couldn’t bring myself to hurt you by telling you the worst news ever- that you’d soon be all by yourself in the world- an orphan.”

His heart was pierced by the painful words that came out of his father’s mouth. He felt remorse for doubting his sick father, not trusting him. He felt guilty. “How did it begin? When did you get to know?” Jeremy wanted the whole truth. It was his right. He had to be involved.

Edwin looked away, painfully. “Two years ago.”

“Two years! How-”

“After Emily’s death,” Edwin cut him off. “You know I wasn’t able to cope after she left us. I resorted to taking alcohol to be free from my pains. Little did I know that I was ruining my heath. I had the first attack while you were away, to seal some business deals. It became more frequent. Then Dr. Allan carried out some tests on me. It was then revealed there’s a permanent damage there. It was all too late. Nothing could be done about it.” He took a deep breath.

Jeremy squeezed his fingers tenderly, prompting him to go on.

“I instructed him not to let you know only till I give him the permission to do so. I think that’s why he told you. I didn’t want you to feel miserable. After losing your mum, you’d lose your dad. I want that not to happen. Only if I could.”

Jeremy’s vision was blurred. “Father, I’m going to be all alone in this world? Don’t leave me. I’m very sorry about your health condition. But please, don’t leave me. We could have a heart transplant, a surgery.” He suggested.

Edwin waved his head sideways. “Then someone would have to die. Its soul for soul. A person dies and I live? I can’t do that.” he explained.

“Damn! So what do we do? I can’t be without you! You want to join her? Where are you two going? I’m gonna go with you two!” He was visibly shaking.

Edwin Broderick chuckled. “My son. Its parts of life. No one wishes to die, but its inevitable. We just have to wait till it comes.” He held Jeremy by the shoulder. He tried to cheer him up. “Come on. I’m not dead yet. I’ve still got few years to live. Lets not spend it in mourning, make it the happiest years of my life. Just as we did with your mother.”

Jeremy heaved a sigh. “And when you leave?”

“Purity and her parents will be here for you. That’s why I so much want this marriage. With her and her family, you’d have kids bu then, you’d never miss me. You would see a reason to live, to go on. Your life would have hope and meaning. Just do this for me.”

It was all about him? He was this loved by his father? He loved him very much. If he was going to be born in a next life, he’d ask God to give him the same father. He was really going to miss him. Already missing him. He was determined to put smiles on the face of his father during the years he had to live. He wasn’t gonna fail him.

“Father, I promise to do as you wish. Will make you happy.” Jeremy solemnly vowed.

Edwin smiled and nodded in appreciation.

“I Love You, father.”

“Love you too, my boy.”

Ernest drove this strange lady to his favourite bar-the bar he had met Melisa the first time. Why was he taking her there? He only took special women there. This woman had been stalking his Melisa. He caught her doing so. He didn’t know how long she had been stalking her, but he was gonna find out the reason why. He was going to coax her into spilling the bean. Protecting Melisa was his aim. He was determined to do so.

“Why did you bring me here?” Tricia enquired, eyes the strange man intently.

He ignored her question and cold eyes. Taking her by the hand, he pushed her through the door and they were finally inside the bar. There was loud music booming. The loud sound of the rock ‘n’ roll music almost got him deaf. He watched her as she made to cover her ear with her free hand. The lights were dim and they flickered. It wasn’t quite easy to see clearly the face of the people in there. Sensing this, he let go of her hand and forcefully took her by the waist and drew her closer to him.

She frowned at his rough behaviour.

Ernest didn’t really care.
The bar was rowdy. People on the dance floor, dancing to the rhythm of the music. All kinds of immoral acts were going on there-men to women, men to men and women to women. It had grown worse from what it used to be. He still wondered why a girl like Melisa would visit a place like thus. He was sure she still hid things from him. He pushed those thoughts aside. It was a blessing she did, she now belonged to him. Thank goodness he found her.

His grip on this woman’s waist tightened. They both moved to an empty chair and table together. As they got there, he released the woman, granting her the permission to settle in one of the chairs. His eyes were firmly fixed on her, he wouldn’t let her escape. He had to admit-she was something, really attractive. Probably he could be with her till he got his Melisa. She could be of help too. He chuckled wickedly.
He had already settled in his chair. Watching her send him dangerous looks, he smiled in satisfaction. He loved her kind of women. Dangerous and deadly.
*
*
*
Nathan had kept his eye on this man. He’d not returned after he was kicked out. Who had he brought with him now? Was that the woman he had been searching for? She was beautiful and could turn a man on. He didn’t want any trouble and was still gonna act like a man. The man he was. He left the counter and strolled to meet this regular customer. He gave him a half hearted smile as his gaze met his.
“Would you like to order something?” Nathan enquired innocently.

Ernest sent him deadly snare. He hadn’t forgotten what had transpired that morning. He had returned so they’d know he wasn’t afraid of them.
“Just get us any drink you have. No alcoholic one.” Ernest ordered.

“Coming right away.” Nathan assured them and turned to leave.

“Who are you? Why did you bring me me here? Why didn’t you kept me go? Do I look like a criminal? Have I done any wrong?” Tricia fired several questions at him. She was tired of being treated like a prisoner. She loved her freedom. It was so precious to her. She didn’t like anyone getting on her way and trampling on it.

Ernest wrinkled his nose. “What were you doing there?” he returned her questions with a question.

That really angered her. She looked at him with disgust. “Like you weren’t watching her too.”

He had to be tough on her. “Listen lady, you’ve go to answer my questions. Why were you out there, hiding among the flowers? Who is she to you?”

She smiled mockingly. “Are you the FBI or something? Is this an interview? I can’t see any cameras or-”

“Here they are.” Nathan announced, interrupting Tricia. He laid the drinks and glasses on the table. He looked at Tricia and then at Ernest. “Is this the woman you wanted to kill me over? I don’t know her.”

“Move away from us!” Ernest snarled. This bastard. He’s never spare him when he gets the chance to wring his neck again.

“What woman is he talking about? Do I know you? Or you know me?” Tricia was perplexed. What the hell was going on? Now she regretted her actions. She’d have stayed home or got herself a new man. She couldn’t resist the temptation of wanting to see the pure virgin that had stolen her Jeremy.

>>

Nigerians say free things destroys the tummy. I was thinking it's a lie until yesterday afternoon when i came back from a boring lecture. Hunger was killing me and alarm was stoning me as if i stole it's wife. My roommates were the worst. Their poverty is follow come.
 So when i entered our room in the hostel i was surprised to see them flexing. They packed meat full ontop big plate eating and using one bottle of fanta each to digest the food. Without wasting time i joined them sharperly. The meat was so sweet that i did not know the time i asked them what type of meat is it? They told me it's python. I nearly ran mad. I did my best to vomit it but it did not come out. They started laughing me, in my mind, i swore i must revenge.
This morning i was going to school library to read when i saw one big frog and caught it. I killed it, and ran home, and used pepper to fry it. I then kept it in the room cause i know those yeye boys will come and eat it. I went to class and came back now and saw that they've cleared the pot. My tummy then sweetened me like yale sweetened cabin biscuit. As i was in the room one of them girlfriend sent rice and stew. I settled down and gave it amnesty.
I then received a text on my phone. I checked it and saw it was one of them saying, Dear Ofego, hope you are in the hostel, i gave my girlfriend the meat that you fried and left in the room, that she should use it to cook stew for me. If she brings it, help me to keep it please, don't eat it o! I beg you in the name of God! My people, i am now down and confuse. What should i do?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-20 15:58:55

581 Views




Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life!Related

True life story [Read it]



Patricia got pregnant 10 years ago when she was
still
in secondary school, the guy who got her
pregnant
denied been responsible. She tried abortion but it
didn't work, she tried many ways to destroy the
pregnancy because she didn't want her parent to
know about it.
Patricia ran away with the pregnancy to her
friend in far town, she stayed with her and gave
birth.
she went and dumped the baby in the near by
bush
without telling her friend and went back to her
parent
that same day. After years she got married gaveu
the husband of
her
dream
they were happy together till after 5 years
she
couldn't conceive a child. Her passed came
calling, she
found out from her findings that she wont be
able to
conceive a child of her own due to what she did
to her
first child. She was thrown out from her husband
house
after
they found out she was the cause.
In life whatever a man sow so shall he reap
Now lets pray,
We pray the Almighty forgive all the sins we
committed ignorantly in our passed.
We ask God for his divide direction so that we
don't do
what will destroy our future in Jesus name.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Two donkeys [Read it]


Two donkeys were walking down
the road in
Jerusalem one day,
One of the donkeys said
"wow".. Yesterday i was carrying
Jesus on my back, people were hailing me and
screaming.
People even kept their clothes for
me to walk
on.. But today, no one even
recognizes me" The second donkey smiled
and said
"Hmmmmm.. Don't you know that
you're
nothing without Jesus?"
IF YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE NOTHING
WITHOUT JESUS JUST COMMENT
YES!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-02 14:16:40

782 Views




1) When you say, "Mummy, I'm Sorry!"
And she
replies, "Sorry for yourself!"
.
2) When you ask her where you should
drop
something and she
says, “Drop it on my head." .
3) When she brings food
wrapped in a nylon bag from a party.
.
4) When you say, ''Mummy, I have fever.”
And she replies
you, “Why won't you have fever when you
press
phone every night”
.
. 5) When you say, “Mummy I took 2nd in
my
class.” and she replies, “So the person
that took
first has two heads abi?”
. .
6) When she takes the DSTV remote to
work, just
to punish you.
.
7) When you are watching television with her and
then she sleeps off and still doesn’t
want you to change the
channel.
.
. When you tell her you are going to a
friend's
place to play and she asks, ''When last
did that friend
come here to play with you?
. .
9) When she asks you if the food she
served you is enough, and
you reply no, and she says, come and eat
my own with yours.
. 10) When she tells you, if I hear Peem,
you will
hear Ween.
.
11) When she touches hot pot
comfortably without a cloth or
paper.
.
12) When she tells you, ''I didn't kill my
mother,
so you will not kill me''.
.
13) When she calls you from your room
upstairs
and then sends you back upstairs to
bring her purse.
.
14) When you ask her to refund the
money she
borrowed u and
she tells you, "All the food you have been eating
in the house
nko? Which money did you think was
used in
buying them?''
Our Mothers are wonderful. I love my mom. LIKE
AND COMMENT IF YOU
LOVE YOUR MOM. .#B-goF


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-29 11:46:16

623 Views




O’boy ee, see fraustration. 


Man: Baby, I love you, would you please marryme?


Woman: (stands up and lands a stinging slap on
his face. ) I have waited more than 9yrs, I have
prayed, fasted, sowed seeds, bought books and
listened to tapes, even went out of my way to
be nice to every male specie of marriageable
age!

I took up new hobbies, watching football and
play station. I went to Daystar. From Daystar, I
went to House on the Rock, from House on the
rock I went to Guiding Light Assembly, Phronesis
Christian Centre Int’l, MFM, Christ Embassy,
Redeemed, From there I went to This Present
Winners looking every where for you. I went
from a size 14 to a size 10, so that when you see me you’d love what you see.

I left Lagos, went to Abuja, from Abuja I went to
Port- Harcourt, then I went all the way to Kano I
joined hi-five, from hi-five to faceboook, then I
went to twitter, I even had a blog on which I
ranted, hoping y?? would show up! for where?

I uploaded only my best pictures on Facebook,
in fact I took photo sessions to look my best, all
for you o! I attended all the weddings, whether
the invitation was direct or indirect! The next
place I was hoping to check was the moon,
before you crawled out, crawled out from the
house directly next to mine!

So it was you all this while? The neighbour I said
hello to every morning?

Were you trying to destroy my faith?

You almost rendered my prayer life useless?

What were you waiting for?

What sign where you looking for?

Do you want to kill me before you reveal
yourself?!!!

Now be a gentleman, get down on your knees
and put that ring on my finger!!



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-02 15:19:58

350 Views




Continues..
MeI wondered how he knew that statement. Back in Europe that was how I and my dad say it) yeah I have taken my bath and brushed my teeth.(I sat up)
He gave me the food. It was jollof rice,egg and two meats with salad. I insisted we both ate the food. After we ate, he took the dishes away and came back. He joined me on the bed. He was sitting and I was lying.
Preston:you know what?
Me:what?
Preston:I want us to act like real couples. Lately we have been acting like best friends
Mekay but I am trying. I am not that good in relationships
Prestonlaughing) you are just perfect
Me:so tell me about yourself and your cult
Preston:well my name is preston Paul. I am in 200 level in the university studying marine engineering. I am the first child and son of my family. I come from a rich family as my father’s tenor hasn’t expired in the house of assembly. I have two younger sisters Kathleen and Catherine they are both twins 19 of age. About my cult. I have been the leader since 100 level. It is actually a confraternity not a cult. I was made the leader by Pedro park an American person who visited the school last year. He came to create group of boys to fight corruption. I was picked as the leader to choose other people because I am from a rich family. That’s the same story with Brenden. So ever since, we have been in the confraternity and nothing more. We fight against cult groups who are in their hideouts waiting to outnumber us before coming out from their hideouts. But we have information about the white dragons, black birds, dragon cats, depressed tigers, and wild wolves. They have not made any move yet that’s why we are still calm.
Me:what the heck! Those groups must be wicked. I mean look at their names.(sitting on the bed). What about rock angels and sparkle stars?
Preston:those are girls stuff. Only girls confraternity will deal with them. But we have none yet and if they do anything illegal we will act
Me:what’s the WE In it? Preston:its not the P.P or B.B alone there is L.L and U.U and some others
Me:L.L and U.U. what’s their meaning?
Prestonlaughing) Legal Lords and Unique Units
Me:wow!(I just sat there thinking of the T.N too bad mine was not in rhymes)
Presley:what about you? Tell me about yourself.
*Readers please notify that these names aren’t real. Its just a story that needs many stuffs to make it more real. Do not criticize the writer as a fake. At least get the message and learn from the lesson.*
Me:uhmmm. My name is Milly brandez. The only daughter and child of my parents. My mum is late. And I live with my grand parents. My father is out of the state for business.
Preston:hmmmm. Brandez you say? Sorry about your mum
Me:yes brandez. Its okay about my mum I don’t want to cry
Preston:nothing. Its just I have heard that name somewhere
Mecurious) where?
Prestonh now I remember in worldwide news…
To be continued..


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Papa Akpos :- My pikin say you drive am commot
for school, Wetin he do
Akpos' Teacher :- Your son no know book at all, He
no fit spell "LION"
Papa Akpos :- Ah Ah You know say na SMALL
pikin...You for tell am make he spell SMALL ANIMAL
like MOSQUITO


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-27 10:45:58

1029 Views




Santa and Banta are at work, digging a hole. Banta asks Santa other, “Why is that guy up there sitting under the tree while we do all the work?”

Santa said that he doesn`t know, so he goes up and asks him why.

The guy under the tree says, “Because I have intelligence.”

Santa says, “What`s that?”

So the guy under the tree stands up and says, “Punch me as hard as you can.”

Santa winds up and punches him, but the intelligent guy moves away and the digger punches the tree. His hand is now killing him.

Santa says, “Oh, I think I know what it is now.”

He goes back down to Banta.

Banta asks, “So why are we doing all the work?”

Santa replies, “Because he has intelligence.”

Banta says, “What`s that.”

Santa looks around for a tree, but doesn`t see one, so he puts his hand in front of his face and says, “Punch my hand as hard as you can.”Related
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