Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


A pastor was invited to a church
program
in kaduna
state, wen he got there..
Though, he wanted 2 preach
about Boko
Haram but he quickly put it
indirectly
[cos d fear of boko haram is the
begining
of wisdom] so he went dis way.
The
title of my topic today is "YOU
WILL
NEVER GO THE SAME WAY U CAME".
He continued preaching And at
the
same
time also taking time to suspect
any
poly bag he sees. Some minutes
later as
d preaching was going on what
we
had was [DUAAAAAH] from
outside, in a blink of an
eye, everybody vanished
including d pastor that ran
trough
the
window. . . . Some minutes later
after d whole members has
gathered, then the pastor was
no were to be found, they quickly
call him
on phone.
Member : Hello pastor were are
you? Pastor :
Am in ORE.
Member : [surprisingly] ah
ahhhhh
pastooor. Please
come back its not a bomb
it a motor tyre that burst outside.
Pastor : I knw thats why am in
ORE
if it was a
bomb i
would have been at
ASABA.
Member : but pastor u left
through the
window, and
anyone who pass through d
window is a thief..
Pastor : Wat was my topic today?
Member... U WILL NEVER GO THE
SAME
WAY U
CAME.
Pastors : So i came through the
door and i left
through d window


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-30 01:30:37

603 Views



football remix [Read it]


THE SCHOOL OF FOOTBALL
The Headmaster - Sir Alex Ferguson
The one who beats up everyone- Pepe
The Class Capitain - Gerrard
The extraordinary student - Lionel
Messi
The student who always helps others in
assignment -
Mesut Özil
Most stylish and hard working student - Cristiano
Ronaldo
The Student who completes his
assignment in
just a
few moments - Agüero
The Perfect student - Ronaldinho
The student who always passes - Xavi
The Student who bites pencil during
classes -
Luis
Sùarez
The student who knows better than
teacher -
Andre
Pirlo
The wall of school - Manuel Neuer
The Security of School - Thiago Silva
Crush of all girls - David Beckham
The best students in school always
bunks
(Bench)..
Mata..kaka..andcassillas
The all rounder - David Silva
The ginger - scholes
The back bencher- Mertesacker
The studentS who always gets sick--
Diaby,Reus
The Karate Teacher - Zlatan
Ibrahimovic
Most experienced teacher - Ryan Giggs
Class topper - lord bendtner
The funniest student - David Luiz,
Student with longest hair - Puyol
Fastest Student - Bale
Sports teacher - Arsene Wenger
The Hotheaded Student - Mario
Balotelli
The student who never passes - Arjen
Robben
Most cruel teacher-Luis Van Gaal
Bus Driver- Jose Mourinho
Best dancer in the class - Daniel
Sturridge
The Student who Fights with Seniors -
Jack
Wilshire
The commander of Students -
Kompany
The student who is blamed by everyone
- Fred
The student who always misses school
bus -
Fernando
Torres
The wonder teacher - Zidane
The sacked teacher - David Moyes
The one who gets suspended- Ramos
The one who has the best girlfriend-
pique
The one who flirts with all girls - Terry
Character development teacher - Rodgers
The student who's been studying in the school since the past 20 years - Totti
The one who passes without even given exams - Vermalean
The one who used to top in junior classes - Alexander Pato
The one who cries everytime when
anybody touches him - Neymar
The school's backyard tree-Fellani
The one who founded the school in 1778 - Diego Costa.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-07 22:58:49

540 Views




The most persistent sound which reverberates through men’s history is the beating of war drums.

~ Arthur KoestlerRelated

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being
a role model: I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to
me. I wan' all the
kids to copulate me." 2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when
asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards,
whichever comes first.." 3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super
Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over
Joe's Mom, too." 4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his
coach, John Jenkins: "He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings.." 5. Football commentator and former player Joe
Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A
genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein." 6. Senior basketball player at the University of
Pittsburgh : "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how
long it takes.." (Now that is beautiful) 7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height.." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and
then line up in a
circle." 8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going
to prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out
smarter? He went to prison for
three years, not Princeton .." 9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing,
explaining why he keeps a
color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I
can still find my
clothes." 10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the
Spartan training regimen of
heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the
morning, regardless of
what time it is." 11. Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball
player, explaining to
Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at
practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if
I'm going to be an
uncle or an aunt.#AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-24 11:26:15

277 Views



Teenage Love. [Read it]


**PART ONE**
CHAPTER 1…….
It was a bright saturday morning
on the 7th of september 2013.
Akinola oluwasegun was walking
along a popular street in Ibadan,
Oyo state. He was dressed in a
white T-shirt and a black pant
trouser and a black vickers shoe.
He was on his way to Loyola
College, a government owned
secondary school around Agodi
gate GRA Ibadan for his WAEC GCE
exam.
He entered into the school
compound and walked towards
the school building. Being his
first paper English Language, he
had no idea of where the
examination hall was situated.
So, he had to ask for help from
other candidates who had come
the previous days for chemistry
practicals and Commerce. He
walked up to a girl seated on the
staircase reading to ask for the
help.
“Hello, good morning.” he
greeted.
“Good morning.” she replied.
“Please, are you here for exam?”
he asked.
“Yeah.” she replied.
“Okay. Please, which way is the
examination hall.” He asked.
“I don’t know. This is my first
time here.” She answered.
(disappointed) “Okay, lets ask
others the way to the exam hall.”
He adviced.
“Okay.” She replied standing up
and dusting her skirt.
*TEN MINUTES LATER*
The invigillator walked into the
exam hall carrying a green sack
with the inscription; WEST
AFRICAN EXAMINATION COUNCIL.
No 62. He was accompanied by
five teachers of the school.
A laptop was removed and with
a thumb printing device attached
to it.
“Line up for your biometrics.”
one of the teachers barked.
After the completion of the
biometrics. The candidates were
asked to sit down according to
their numbers. The answer
booklets and the question
papers were first distributed
before the attendance was
marked. The paper lasted two
and a half hours. The paper
ended by 11:30am and they
were given 3hours break before
the commencement of the paper
2&3(objectives & the Test of
Orals respectively).
Outside the examination hall,
students were seen in group,
some in fours, in fives and so on
discussing and arguing over the
just concluded paper.
Oluwasegun(segun for short)
wast sitting alone under a big
three near the school football
pitch. He was flipping through
the pages of the WAEC English
language past question. Just then
someone tapped him from
behind. He looked up and saw
his cousin Omolayo Akinola.
He stood up and hugged her.
“What are you doing here?” he
asked.
“I came to greet my friends
writing their exam here. She
answered.
“Where is your centre?”
“Ikolaba grammar school.”she
replied.
“Most of my friends are in that
centre.”he said.
“Are you the only one here?” she
asked.
“Yes, am the only one here from
my school.”he answered.
“You must be feeling lonely
o.”she said.
“Yeah”………
The gisted for like ten minutes
before Omolayo stood up to go,
“Let me introduce you to my
friends over there.” she said
pointing to a group of 2 boys
and 4 girls gisting.
He stood up and followed her
towards the group. Immediately
they saw them approach they
stopped talking.
“Where have you been? One of
her friends jummy asked
Omolayo suspiciously.
Ignoring her question. “Meet my
cousin, Segun. Segun meet my
friends.” she introduced.
“Hi guys.” he greeted.
“Hi.” They chorused.
They all hung around till it was
1:30pm, 30minutes before the
next paper.
“Bro, i think we should get going
so, we won’t be late.” Omolayo
said.
“Alright, bye. Segun answered.
Omolayo left with four of her
friends remaining two who were
also in segun’s centre. Among
which was Jummy.
–to be continued–


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Teacher ask his students, how long do you think is the best for politicians to stay in office.
Joy: 4 years
Akpos: Jesus!!! Holy ghost Fire.
Teacher: Akpos, why all that
Akpos: can`t u see that 4years is too far, i think 4 months is better
Teacher: come out and kneel down, is that why u are shouting holy ghost fire. Ok why do you think 4 months is better?
Akpos: Thats the only time we get something from those forking politicians. For Example, just few weeks ago
GEJ gave my mother 1 bag of fertilizer
PDP gave her 1 bag of rice and 10k
APC gave her 20ltrs of groundnut oil and 5K
LP gave her 1 bag of salt. and 10k
mama P gave her 2 wrappers
At least this will sustain us before next 4 months.
.
.
HAHAHAHA
is Akpos right or wrong?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-30 08:24:55

1082 Views



DISCOUNT [Read it]


I eavesdrop this conversation between Akpors(a coffin seller) and his customer....

*Akpors:- Good evening sir, what can I do for you.
*Customer:- I want to buy this coffin for my father burial.(pointing at a particular coffin)
*Akpors:- That coffin you pointed to is #25,000...
*Customer:- Please I don't have such amount with me. Kindly give me discount over it....
*Akpors:- I will give you discount when you come for another coffin.
*Customer:-(angry) Thunder go fire you, you wan kill all my family? Sebi nah last week friday I bought two 4rm you. Nah your family go die next....

A word for akpors.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-21 04:21:45

303 Views




If obstacles get in your way, do as the wind does… whistle and go around them.

Good Day!Related

Night is a wonderful opportunity to take rest, to forgive, to dream, to smile and to get ready for all the battle that you have to fight tomorrow.

Good Night!Related

not your son [Read it]


A,man bought a robot machine that slaps anyone who tells lie...During dinner he decided to test it
Man; son where were you during school hours?
Son:dad i was in school(the robot slappd him) okay dad i went to the,movies...
Dad: and what did you watch?
Son: the last ship sir...(the robot slapped him again) okay dad i watched porn!
Dad: hey what do you mean at your age i never knew what porn is.!(the robot slapped him)
Mum.;haha.anyway thats your son(the robot slapped her)


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-05 19:09:49

280 Views




I am bad in ENGLISH
but I can tell you that
I LOVE YOU.
I am bad in
GEOGRAPHY but I can
tell you that you LIVE
in my HEART.
I am bad in HISTORY
but I can REMEMBER
the FIRST TIME I saw
you.
I am bad in CHEMISTRY
but I can tell you my
REACTION when you
SMILE.
I am bad in PHYSICS
but I can tell the
INTENSITY the
SPARKS of my EYES
give, when they SEE
you.
I am bad in every
SUBJECT but I can
TELL ALL.
I will PASS all
SUBJECTS if the TOPIC
is YOU!



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-12 17:22:59

916 Views




Teacher: Did u do your home work?

Akpors: Did u grade my test?

Teacher: I have other Student's test to grade.

Akpors: I have other Teacher's home work yo do.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-31 17:29:05

474 Views




Stephanie meet with Desmond and told him;she will accept the proposal;she required for more details about the deed and also gave him;her conditions. back at Stephanie apartment;she tell her friends that she had accepted to be Desmond girlfriend and her friends were making mockery if her without knowing the truth. he also return and tell his friends that the girl has fallen for him without telling them the fact. his friends praise but Alfred want prove even after calling her phone....

Stephanie: good evening Desmond;were you the one that sent for me?
Desmond: evening Stephanie;how are you?
Stephanie: am fine and you
Desmond: fine;at least today you are smiling at me. please lets look for somewhere to sit
Stephanie: lets go then
Desmond: after you
Stephanie: thank you for the sit and the drink. like you said,'lets get down to business
Desmond: it is getting interesting. business,you are funning
Stephanie: that is what my friends always say. that is by the way. i have put it into consideration;i decided to give it a trial but i wouldn't like to jump into something;i know nothing about;i wouldn't want a situation were by you said there is nothing involved but yet there are so many things involved. first of all;i wouldn't want you to stare at me or my backside;no hugging;no kissing,don't even hold my hand....
Desmond: wait Stephanie..
Stephanie: i haven't finish talking,don't....
Desmond: i know you haven't finish;when you said no looking at your backside;no kissing;hugging,i understand it and i know it is not part of the deed but you saying i shouldn't hold your hand is one thing,that i may not work. you know i hate making promise that i cannot fulfilled;if i don't hold your hand then the whole world will find out;i am playing a fast one on them

Stephanie: is alright;when is the contract going to be terminated?
Desmond: is for a month;after then;everyone will goon there way
Stephanie: is too much;how can i be pretending for an entire month?i can't let it be for two weeks
Desmond: two weeks is too short a time for people to notice us and for me to prove to my friends. please
Stephanie: is okay;accepted;you won. when do we start?
Desmond: let the game began now. lets start with the exchanging of phone number
Stephanie: here is my number
Desmond: and here is mine;what do you want me to save your number with and do me a favor;save mine with a nice name
Stephanie: anything you like and please don't tell me;what i should save your name with because i am just going to save it with Desmond there and i expect you to do same
Desmond: fine;lets not argue with that(he smiled)

Stephanie: and why are you smiling?don't be so sure that everything is perfect for now because i can change my mind at anytime
Desmond: nothing;at least;we are getting somewhere
Stephanie: i just can't believe;i am doing this;i hope i am not getting into any problem. i just hope;i am doing the right thing
Desmond: you are doing the right thing. even when Abram was dwelling in Egypt with his wife Sarah;this Abram from our holy scripture;he told Sarah to pretend to be his sister,in order for Pharaoh to allow them dwell in Egypt. so even the bible accepted it
Stephanie: it is really true that even the devil quote scripture. why wouldn't you justified yourself;its alright;i am already involve myself
Desmond: do you want anything to take home?
Stephanie: no thanks;you have done enough for me
Desmond: i should be the one thanking you but please take something(at the home Stephanie & friends)
Tosan: people go out and they don't know they left others worried at home
Tina: you are on top
Stephanie: on top;as in
Tina: don't you know what i meant?you think i don't know
Stephanie: know what?
Ann: stop pretending; Tina;saw you and him talking and laughing
Stephanie: who?
Anita: you know;i know you too well,for you to want to hide anything from me. if you don't know the person,we are talking about but you know who gave you those things you are holding
Stephanie: oh!thisesmond gave them to me
Ann: on what ground?
Stephanie: i told you girls;he asked me out and i told he,i will think about it and i have given it a thought. so i decided to accept it
Tosan: so easy;is not even up to a month that he asked you out and you gave in
Ann: is a shame;that all you action and attitude were for nothing
Stephanie: is not the way you think;you don't understand
Tina: then make us understand;if is Tina;fine;everyone will say she is so cheap;easy to get. now that is Stephanie;wouldn't people. you should start talking
Tosan: all those words;he is not my type;he is proud;too full of himself. i don't love him;how am i not sure you are the one that approved him;stupid pretender
Anita: is alright;is not her fault
Ann: then whose fault?its mine
Stephanie: i am out of here;it seems anything i say will have no effect on you(exit Stephanie)
Anita: you people are taking this thing too afar
Ann: anyway;its non of my business;just get my money ready;that is all i wanted
Tina: i told you;you trust her too much that you underestimated her. you see;now she had failed you within a twinkle of an eye(outside the house)

Stephanie: (to herself)i dont know how i get involved in this;maybe it is because of greed. i wish i could tell you the truth;nothing but the truth. God please deliver me from the hands of men and save me from clashing. i hope you guys still trust me(enter Anita)
Anita: baby;why are you crying?you should be happy that every girl's man is now yours. enjoy it why it last. come on cheer up
Stephanie: thank you for not be mad at me;i am sorry for failing you
Anita: is alright;you don't have to feel sad because it is normal for you to fall in love with a boy. love is made to be experience my humans not by animals and you are human;so you need to accept it. i am not mad at you because you accepted it,is just that i had a bet on you;that you will never fall for him. there is no problem;i have accepted it that i lost and i shouldn't trust someone else except myself
Stephanie: i am sorry Anita;you would had told me
Anita: is alright;i should be the one telling you;am sorry. please forget about what happen
Stephanie: forgive me for disappointing you;am really sorry;its just that i was between the devil and the deep blue sea. am really sorry

Anita: it's well;is like someone died;wipe your tears and lets go and have fun(curtain) (at the apartment of Desmond &friends)

Desmond: i am a hero;i have it all within a second. ha ha ha ha it is just so perfect;so clean;so sweet;very easy without me the world will stand still;the ocean and sea themselves will never flow;even the heavens have come to recognize me;that am the world greatest (enter Tunde/Tosin/Alfred)
Alfred: oh boy;shut up;don't you know people are reading?the fact that you don't have any test by tomorrow that doesn't mean;you should disturb others
Tosin: i did know you to be a drunkard;if not i would had said you have being drinking
Tosin: and since when did you start this attitude of over excitement and praising yourself
Desmond: you are always in a hurry;you want things to happen very fast. well;where is Ayo?i have good news for all of you
Tosin: will you hit the nail on the head and mark you no news is good but Ayo is not here;he went to school;he have a class;he will soon be there
Tunde: Desmond; stop wasting my time and tell us;what you wanted to say and he fast about it
Desmond: already then;the young lady you told me about;the lady that we do have a bet on
Tunde: Stephanie;what about her?
Desmond: i thought;you said you are busy
Tunde: stop this thing and tell us;yes i said so but for this any other thing can wait
Desmond: i approached her;i told her;i want her to be my girlfriend and that i don't have anyone in my life and i love her
Tunde: and then;she agreed?
Desmond: yes;she agree
Alfred: lie;all what you just said here are all lies;i don't know you to be a liar;i would have called you that
Desmond: you already call me that;is the fact that i am telling you. in love you don't need to say a lot of words in order to prove yourself and for the other end to accept it
Tunde: is fine by me;lets see prove that you gotten her
Desmond: i have her address and her phone number
Tunde: then give her a call to give us some lead and put it in loudspeaker
Desmond: (calling her)its ringing
Tunde: Alfred;he is calling her;come and sit(at the other end of the call;she answered the call)
Desmond: hello;is Desmond...
Stephanie: i know;are you missing me me that missing me that much?that couldn't wait till the next day
Desmond: am not....
Stephanie: i know your lips are saying something and your heart is say something else. is it not the fact?
Desmond: you are mind reader;anyway am just kidding;when i said i don't care about you and am not missing you
Stephanie: have you eating?
Desmond: no;your voice alone have given me a fill
Stephanie: that sound nice but please eat something;so that you will look health and attractive
Desmond: i have heard. goodbye my baby,i love you
Stephanie: bye(she end the call)
Desmond: you all have heard it?
Tunde: man;you are a real man;complete man
Tosin: (enter Ayo)there come Ayo;your noble friend
Tunde: boy;sit and have a share in the good deeds
Ayo: what's the celebrate all about?
Tosin: your friend has just won the heart of a hard rock
Ayo: Desmond;you are a confirm man. a man with the sugar tongue
Desmond: this comes for celebration and please prepared my money
Alfred: lets not start celebrating yet because i have not accepted it
Desmond: i will do anything to prove it to you
Alfred: i want you to invite her here
Desmond: if that is what you want?
Alfred: yes;that is what i want
Desmond: doubting Thomas


Desmond meet with Sylvia and tell her;his friends want to see her,she was scared but after much persuasion she accepted and after sometime they became familiar with one another and his friends all came to like and even their maid


Stephanie: Good day Desmond
Desmond: good day;how are you?
Stephanie: i am okay;don't i look fine?
Desmond: sure;thanks for the day before this
Stephanie: is nothing;am been paid for every service i render. am i not?
Desmond: i still have to say thank you
Stephanie: is there anything you want?if nothing i just have to go
Desmond: goodbye then
Stephanie: goodbye
Desmond: excuse me Stephanie,i wanted you to do me a favour. please;can you visit me at home;they really want meet with you and for them to see both of us together to make a point
Stephanie: your house;don't even think of it;i will never do it. is a no from me
Desmond: why are you so rigid;a woman have to be flexible
Stephanie: so it has gotten to this extend;i call it a quit
Desmond: then so;be it;am out if here
Stephanie: am sorry for my reaction;i don't mean to upset you. i will go with you;people can not be dating when they don't visit each other;then i was scared to visit an apartment made of five boys
Desmond: am also sorry for yelling at you. don't worry since you are coming with me;i will protect you
Stephanie: so shall we;so that i could return home on time
Desmond: lets go to your house;so you can change into something nice
Stephanie: these are my best wears;if you don't like it then;lets call it a day
Desmond: baby;don't you think;you are overreacting over situation that are not worth it. okay then;i will see you by the day after tomorrow to take you to my place
Stephanie: if you say so;farewell then but don't call me;your baby because i am not

Desmond: wait a minute;i will like us to meet tomorrow. i want to take you somewhere special
Stephanie: so what time and where do I meet you?
Desmond: don't worry i will pick you at your place by four o'clock
Stephanie: fine by me (curtain)

Tosan: come on girl;you need to look good and very attractive because this is your first out in with every girl dream man
Stephanie: you are so unbelievable;this was how i look when he approach me;so am not going to pretend that i am someone whom i am not
Tosan: if you say so(enter Desmond)here comes your man;just go and do your thing
Stephanie: goodbye Tosan;see you later
Tosan: hi Desmond;how is my friend?
Desmond: he is fine and i am too. can you please excuse me;i want to take her out
Tosan: you are excuse. go girlfriend
Desmond: lets hit the road
Stephanie: after you;you are my quest
Desmond: if you say so(a garden off town)
Stephanie: this place is fine and it has such a nice flowers
Desmond: am glad you like it. its a garden;so it must look nice and full with flower. it is the flower that make it beautiful. just drink up juice
Stephanie: thank you for the juice
Desmond: you welcome
Stephanie: why are you smiling?and your look is suspicious
Desmond: nothing;is just that your dressing is.....
Stephanie: is it bad;am i looking odd;come on tell me?am i making you feel ashamed;i knew it will come to this level but then;its fine by me;after all;i am not in your class;am out of here...
Desmond: is alright;nobody is talking about class different. is just that...
Stephanie: your friends will be making mockery of you;you don't need to take it to heart;we weren't really in love
Desmond: will you stop;come on that is not what i meant;is like this,as in...your don't wear make up;trousers;nice hair do and interact with people freely;i know you are intelligent but you just can't prove it because you are always in your shell;come out of it and show your real potential that is what i want from you. nothing more or less. am not asking you to fake yourself. just turn around and look at that girl and tell me;what you saw and if she is more beautiful then you;come on go on;look at her;take your time
Stephanie: Desmond;i have see her;she is beautiful and more than ....
Desmond: go ahead;complete it;lack of self confident;low self esteem that is what is wrong with you. accept;that is your problem;sit and look at ways you want to change your life
Stephanie: i don't want to change anything about myself;i am fine with my life. all i wanted in life is just joy;peace and a simple comfortable life that is all. who will fall in love with me will like me the way i am not how i look;i would never look like a prostitute to attract a man. if wearing a skirt is bad then lets no man come
Desmond: come off it;relax;i am not forcing you to wear those but i just want you to be wearing something attractive. even if you have to wear skirt;it shouldn't be this long,like this one on you. it is not ideal for a girl to wear this on a date
Stephanie: why are you telling me?are you my boyfriend?
Desmond: i may not be for real but i care about you because you are my baby
Stephanie: you are funny;what do i do then?mark you;i am not your baby and i can never be
Desmond: now you are talking;i brought you things from the mall;makes ups;clothing and foodstuff. at least this will go a long way
Stephanie: thank you then;am grateful. spending this much on me and i hope i will not be indebted to you. i don't know if i could wear all these but i will try but i am not promising you
Desmond: i am glad;you accepted them. let me drop you off (at the front of Stephanie's apartment)
Stephanie: thank you once again for making my day and for the things you brought me and for caring about me. goodbye Desmond
Desmond: bye baby;i will pick you up to meet my friends
Stephanie: i am not your baby(exit Stephanie)
Desmond: (to himself)am not your baby. don't expect me to tell you; i love you too. crazy girl. we are already somewhere(in the house of the girls enter Stephanie with her luggage)
Tosan: someone must have won a jackpot
Tina: is like she rob a bank to afford those she is carrying
Ann: girl;you are going really wild
Anita: you must have turn his head upside down
Tosan: babe;since when do you start wearing make up and trouser and short skirt too
Stephanie: i told him i don't wear these things but he.....
Tosan: shut up;be civilised;socialisation doesn't make you a harlot;look at everybody in this place;they wear all these things;is anything wrong with we that wear them?are we not still intelligent?we all have boyfriend now. behave like a university student
Ann: did he say,'you don't have clothes;that was while he brought you all these things'
Stephanie: he said a girl has to look attractive;wear nice things;make up and be outspoken and that girls do not put on a cloth has long as this;i am wearing on a date
Tosan: i told you;you won't listen. grow up girl
Ann: just forget about the past and face the present
Anita: and the present is fitting these things. so we can know the one;you will wear tomorrow;start with the skirt
Stephanie: this skirt is too short;i told him but now i will not be able to wear it
Ann: this is beautiful and it show your fine legs. then try the trousers
Anita: man,oh man;the trouser is the best out of all. i would prefer the trouser with this top and shoe. in fact you will be too beautiful;no one will recognize you
Stephanie: thank you all;i will just go and complete my assignment because i need to summit it by tomorrow morning (curtain)

Alfred: small boy;when is ma Brown coming back because boys can not be doing fast food all the time
Tosin: somebody said she is going to be with her family' they said,'go but is like she is go to take a full year to do that
Tunde: just hear yourself,you are in school and you want someone to be cooking your meal because you are in your father's house
Desmond: leave him;better start getting this into your head because you are in school and i know you all have girlfriend;tell them to cook for you in place of a cook
Ayo: you are right;we can be using the money that we pay the cook for something else
Alfred: will you shut up and stop behaving like a fool. since your girlfriend,what is that her name?
Tunde: Anita
Alfred: thank you;have she ever prepared anything at that?mine;had prepared noodles
Tosin: at least Tosan;had fried egg
Tunde: she had prepared tea and make garri
Ayo: i know Anita;had not prepared any because she hate cooking and as for all of you that had said,'your girls has prepared something',i put it to you all;they have prepared nothing
Desmond: is alright;you guys are discussing irrelevant matter. this house is unkempt;if you like start sweeping and go wash those dishes and put everything in order
Ayo: just come and range it;you are the one expecting visitor
Desmond: don't worry;i will take her to my room
Tunde: if she agree
Desmond: why wouldn't she?am i not her boyfriend?
Tosin: and who is saying no to that?please i am famish (bell ringing)
Alfred: is like the long awaiting girl is here
Ayo: come on in;the door is not locked
Stephanie: Good day all
Tosin: whoa!you are looking beautiful
Stephanie: thank you
Tosin: you welcome;sit,Desmond;you have a visitor
Ayo: so how is your day and my girlfriend?
Stephanie: its fine and Anita is fine;she sent her regard,she would had come with me but she is busy
Desmond: hi baby;how are you?
Stephanie: fine;don't i look fine?
Desmond: you look more than just fine;let me introduce you to my friends. this is Ayo;Alfred;Tunde and Tosin. they are my friends right from childhood till date
Stephanie: is my pleasure
Desmond: and Ayo;Alfred;Tosin;Tunde meet Stephanie;my girlfriend;the only one that caught my eyes
All friends: nice meeting you. we got to excuse you(exit all)
Desmond: sit;God!i really do not recognized you;did you look at the mirror before coming
Stephanie: i did;is it not beautiful?i could just go back and change
Desmond: no;you look so beautiful;the first thing i wanted to do when i saw you;was to hug you because you look beautiful like Miss world
Stephanie: am not one;why is your house in such a mess
Desmond: what do you mean?
Stephanie: sorry;if i offend you with my mouth
Desmond: you did not;you know we are all boys and boys do not clean the home
Stephanie: so girls are slave
Desmond: that is not what i meant,do you want to help me;clear it up
Stephanie: how much will you pay for the service? i am hungry
Desmond: i will pay you with a kiss and as for the food;we don't have cook food but we have things to prepared stew and rice,even ripe plantain;if you want to prepared dodo. thanks
Stephanie: i haven't say i want to do all this things and here you are telling me;thank you;don't worry you will definitely pay me with more thank just a......(she pause)
Desmond: more than just a what?(he stared at her)
Stephanie: forget about it
Desmond: am coming;please excuse me(exit Desmond) (some hours later enter all friends)
Tunde: this place smell nice
Tosin: who want to kill us in this house?
Ayo: God of mercy;if i don't eat in this food;who will?

Tunde: no one;in deed,since Ma Brown left this house i have not tasted this
Desmond: Stephanie are you the one cooking?
Stephanie: i have finished cooking and i have also set the table
Desmond: are you the one that have the house clean up
Stephanie: yes;don't you like it?
Desmond: i love it;thank you
Tunde: two love birds;please i hope you also prepared enough for us
Stephanie: i prepared for all;i also prepared soup;you can eat later
Desmond: are you not eating baby?
Stephanie: am not;i have finished mine
Tunde: are you ashamed of us?
Stephanie: am not;you boys should sit and eat your food
Ayo: thank you;this food is sweet
Stephanie: i will be going;i need to do my assignment
Desmond: bye my love;i love you
Stephanie: bye(exit Stephanie)
Ayo: man;this girl is a big fish with so many good quality
Tunde: a wife material
Tosin: is such a shame that all is just a game. like a purchase love
Alfred: Desmond;are you not saying anything?
Desmond: what should a man say?that i deserve her;that i am fooling her?your words are making me feel guilty;when you are pushing me into it. i am out of here(exit Desmond)
Tosin: but that is the truth;nothing but the truth. if he don't want it;i will eat his and mine(curtain)



SEE MORE.....


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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.... the continued part.....

I had to come up with a lie to tell my
parents, i came up with something which I
know they will buy,it has been two day now
Since I was discharge from the hospital
but I was till on medication, my friends
has been of great help to me,i wasn't allowed
to go or do any thing at home all i did was
to sleep, wake up,have my bath and eat,which
i was starting to enjoy,but the only boring
part is the fact that i no longer go online
because my laptop screen was broken due to
the way i was hit with it the only thing left
for me now was my phone and it was slow for
browser, my parents has promise to fix the
laptop for me and i believe they will.
I was laying on my bed one afternoon trying
to catch some sleep when I heard a knock on
my door i told the person to come in,my mother
opened the door,she didn't go to shop today
because of a reason best known to her,i greeted
her which she replied with a smile, she asked
about my health,i told her I was fine,she sat
on my bed looking at me,i already knows why she
came but just pretended not to have a clue,
"uyiekpen, you haven't told i and your father
what really happened that faithful day,that's
why I came to meet you privately, your father
is not here now just you and i ,so tell me what
really happened here that day and i need answers
now " she asked me,i could feel the seriousness
in her voice, "well mum it was a mistake on my
own part ,i wasn't feeling too well that day so
I decided to take a rest,when i woke up i was
having a headache so I stood up to get myself
some drugs but as I stood up i felt dizzy then
I lost my balance maybe that was how I hit my
head on the wooden part on the bed." I told her
and watch her reaction, she looked at me for
sometime,i know she wasn't yet convince "then
how come your laptop was broken and also who
left the bottle of Malta in the sitting room,
uyi i know you aren't use to leaving things
that you use any how,you always throw things
in the dirt pit,so what do you have to say
about that."she said. Seriously i wasn't
planning for that question, my mum is right,
you can say i am a neat and tidy guy,i keep
things accordingly and try not to leave things
where they are not meant to be left."i was the
one that drank it i must have forgotten it when
I stood up to go to my room,you know i told you
I wasn't feeling too well,then as for my laptop
maybe my hand could have touched it when I was
trying to find somewhere to balance myself, am
really sorry mum i promise it won't happen again,".
That was just a act i need to play,apologising
for no reason always glades my mother's heart
that i know about her,there was a smile on my
mother face and i knew i just won, "it alright
but please do be careful next time okey,you might
not be that lucky " she said, i promise her
and she left my room,as soon as she left the
event of that day flash through my mind again
and i felt more angry, i so much wanted to
take revenge on her but I till need to stay
away from her for now.
Days and weeks passed and it was time to
resume school, i woke up very early in the
morning as usual, i did my morning routine
and went off to school,i prayed inside my mind
that God should please give me the strength to
control the anger in feel inside because I know
it won't be easy for me....

NEXT PART
PART 14


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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BLIND BY NATURE EPISODE 22 (STORY BY DINDY)
please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story...
.......TWO MONTHS LATER.....
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Celestin now leaved with mr Smart and his health was back to normal, although some marks caused by the accident were still visible on his soft skin.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Everyone loved him, especially Julian who was in love with him, but was too shy to let it out from her mouth. Her shyness were as strong as the bones underneath my flesh until one day...............
Mr Smart: "[Smiles] Hello, I hope I ain't disturbing you guys?, he asked Celestin and Julian who sat side by side together in the parlour.
Celestin: "[Smile] No sir, we were talking about animals sir", he said to mr Smart who was standing in front of him.
Julian: "Yes dad, you are", she said teasing Mr smart, as he sat on a sofa close to them.
Mr Smart: "Julian, you must always find a way to tease me", he said then smiled.
Julian: "Well we are pals or ain't we?", she asked.
Mr Smart: "[Evil smile] Sure little girl", he said while Celestin shook his head with a smile glued to his face.
Mr Smart: "I see you are smiling Celestin", he said looking at Celestin.
Celestin: "Yes sir, the way you and Julian act is so funny, if you guys were played as a movie or read like a book, many people would laugh there lungs out", he said.
Mr Smart: "[Laughs] You are such a funny young man", he said to Celestin who was engulfed with a smile on his face.
Mr Smart: "Celestin, I would like to tell you something", he said looking very serious.
Celestin: "Sir, please tell me whatsoever you wanna tell me, he said to Mr Smart.
Mr Smart: "It has been up to two months you've leaved without us", he said.
Celestin: "Yes sir, I really appreciate it sir, thanks", he said.
Mr Smart: "[Smiles] You are welcome", he said while Julian kept quite to hear the next word that would come out his mouth.
Mr Smart: "Celestin, you might not like what I'm about to tell you", he said as different types of thoughts ran through the minds of Julian and Celestin.
Celestin: "Sir, whatsoever it is, I will accept my fate with a smile on my face", he said as Julian's heart bounced due to the sound of courage that came out Celestin's mouth.
Mr Smart: "ok Celestin, you are going to stop leaving with us soon", he said.
Julian: "[Surprised] Why dad? what can't he stay with us anymore? what's wrong with him staying?", she questioned her dad heavily while Celestin said nothing.
Mr Smart: "Julian you need to chill, you ain't Celestin you know", he said looking at Julian.
Julian: "[Calms voice] Yea I know, but at least give a good reason why he can't stay here anymore", she said.
Mr Smart: "Well I have a very good reason", he said.
Julian: "Well let's have it and it better be the best", she said.
Mr Smart: [Smiles] Celestin can't own a house and still leave with us", he said putting Celestin and Julian in a confused state of mind.
Julian: "I don't understand, I think I speak for both of us here", she said to her dad and Celestin.
Celestin: "Sure you do", he said still trying to figure out what Mr Smart was trying to say.
Mr Smart: "I know you guys won't get the gist", he said with a smile on his face.
Julian: "C'mon dad, get to the point", she said propelling her dad to speak up.
Mr Smart: "Celestin, you are now the owner of a brand new house", he said.
Celestin: [Surprised and shocked] Oh my gosh, thank you sir", he said standing up gently, expressing his joy and happiness heavily.
Mr Smart: "[Smiles] Please don't border yourself thanking me, I just wanna help you", he said while Julian said nothing, but smiled with great passion.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> As Mr Smart was being poured with words of appreciation from Celestin, his phone rang making him leave Julian and Celestin alone once again.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> After Mr Smart left, Celestin talked about Mr Smart to Julian, which was not a new thing to Julian because she 've heard about it from others. Few minutes later Julian decided to ask Celestin a question which was unexpected by Celestin.
Julian: "[Laughs] Ok mr house owner, that remains me", she said.
Celestin: "What is it?", he asked.
Julian: "[Sweet voice] You've not told me how you got blind", she said.
Celestin: "[Breaths out] It was a very painful day for me, I lost my life that day", he said feeling down and sad at heart.
Julian: "[Sad] I'm truly sorry about that, if you can't tell me, I'm ok by that ", she said.
Celestin: "No Julian, I will", he said although still feeling heavy at heart.
Julian: "Are you sure?", she asked.
Celestin: "Completely Julian", he said.
Julian: "Ok then", she said as she reach for Celestin's hand.
Celestin: "it all started when.........to be continue.
STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
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Great dreams of great dreamers are always transcended.

~ A. P. J. Abdul KalamRelated

funny dude [Read it]



A guy picks up a girl in a bar, takes her home and
they started getting along in the dark. He started
sucking her boobs and milk came out, he stopped
and
asked "hey are you nursing a baby? She says "dat
wasn't my nipple, it's a boil.
No be small thing oooooooo!!!!!!!!!!
Their Two Still Dey Fight Since Yesterday Ooooo.
Hehehhehehe.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-05 15:41:36

915 Views




Stupid Answers for stupid questions:
1. Someone calls you at 2 am in the night and ask you "are you sleeping?"Ans: no, I’m picking beans.
2. You're making out with a girl then you start pulling her pants then she asks;what are you trying to do?Ans: I want to wash them for you3. They see you coming out of the bathroom,wet; ''did you just have a bath?''Ans: no, I fell into the toilet bowl. 4
You standing right in front of the elevator on the ground floor going to your office, yet they ask; ''going up?''Ans: no, I’m waiting for my office to comedown and get me!
5. Your boyfriend comes home with a bunch of flowers and you still asks him;''are those flowers?''Ans: no baby, they're carrots!6. You're in the queue at the cinema to buy tickets, a friend see's you and ask; ''what are you doing here?''Ans: I’m here to pay my school fees!7. When people see you lying down with your eyes closed, they still ask;''are you sleeping?''Ans: No! I'm practicing to die.
8. You went to a restaurant n the waiter asks you: ''Plz can I get you a table?''Ans: No. I’m here to eat on the floor.
9. Are you reading this post? Your answer:.....?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-21 16:29:50

206 Views




“Tricia, come lets have dinner,” David requested. He was in a good mood. He had a blissful day and was interested in spending the rest of it with his lovely daughter. He had specially prepared the meal, whistling joyfully as he did so. It was all for his darling, she’d definitely love it.

Tricia Cayson heard her father call her to have dinner. It was a good thing, she thought. Her dad was a great cook, though she never learned from him. She hauled herself off her mattress where she had been day dreaming of Jeremy Broderick. She was in a hurry to quench her desire to eat a special meal. But something her father said had not been right.

“That’s my darling,” David cooed, with a pleasant smile on his face, on sighting Tricia.

She in turn, smiled back and helped herself into the dining chair on the right hand side of her father. That was her permanent seat. It was her space and she began to cherish it so much after her mother had passed away – a tragic memory.

Tricia’s mouth watered as the aroma filled her nostrils. She smiled at her father as she sniffed into the tempting aroma of the butter nut chili. “This is great.”

“Shall we get to eat?” David patiently enquired.

“Sure,” Tricia agreed, picking up the cutleries neatly arranged on the table. They were meant for her.

David been eating too. He stole glances at his daughter, making sure she was happy. She was his source of joy and his priority. Nothing else mattered to him than putting a smile across her beautiful face which made her more pretty. He was contented, feeling her happiness.

“Father,” she called, wiping her mouth with a servette, “You seem very happy tonight. Why?”

“Its you, my daughter,” David grinned.

“Dad, could you do something for me?” she asked with a glitter in her eyes.

“Anything for you,” David replied, smiling. He was ready to do whatever she asks.

“Why’d name me Tricia?” she bluntly questioned, gazing into her father’s eyes.

That, he never thought she’d ask in her entire life. “What sort of question is that?” the surprise was much evident in his voice.

“Just answer me,” she desperately said.

David couldn’t get why she asked that. He sighed deeply. It could be out of sheer curiosity, he concluded. “It was your mother that gave you that name. Its what she wanted for you. Its a wonderful name. I love it.”

Tricia rolled her eyes, listening to her father’s explanation which she termed ‘boring.’ It wasn’t enough reason. “I no longer like the name. You’d have named me something else.”

“Why are you sounding like this? What’s wrong with the name? I’m your father. Your mother and I decided to give you that name. You can’t change that now. Its beautiful, like you are,” David pressed, sounding persuasive as he could. Something was definitely wrong with his daughter.

“I want something chaste, clean,” she insisted. “Call me ‘Purity’!”

“What?” he looked intently at her. “Purity? What’s up with that name? What’s wrong with ‘Tricia?'” he demanded, getting angry. He couldn’t believe she’d reject the name his precious wife had given to her.

Tricia couldn’t explain. She had no answer to give him. She could not even understand herself, why had she requested that? She thought her head was going to split into two. She nervously pushed her chair back and got off her seat. “i don’t know! Just do as I asked, make me happy!” she shouted at him and walked away.

“Tricia!” David called to her retreating figure, but she didn’t answer or even look back. He sadly stared at her unfinished food. He was sad he couldn’t fulfill her wish, he couldn’t make her happy. He had promised to always call her ‘Tricia.’ He wasn’t going back on his words. That was more important than fulfilling his daughter’s ridiculous request.
*
*
*
Yes! It finally hit him. That’s the word she always used. It made her feel in a highly placed position. That was how she always saw herself. He rushed to Darren and snatched Purity’s cellphone from him. He looked at Darren quizzically and back at the phone. Darren had not even done a thing. That wasn’t the problem. He just had to punch the words that had come into his head.

He breathed deeply and typed the words into the phone. To his surprise, the phone chimed. He was excited. This was good. “Pretty princess,” he muttered, grinning. “Now lets get to business,” he said to his friends. “Lets see who this woman is.”

“What the hell is this?” Jeremy asked to no one in particular, his tone mixed with amazement and anger.

Darren and Allan rushed to his side and saw what got him pissed. They both gasped. “Its Tricia,” Darren whispered. This could be it. It could prove Tricia had a hand in Purity’s disappearance. They didnt have all the details yet. But he was convinced that she did it. She was Ernest’s partner.

“We don’t know what happened that day. Did she tell you anything about this?”

“No, none of them did,” Jeremy replied, recovering from his shock. “Purity had met with Tricia? How’s that even possible? Tricia never mentioned this to me, neither did Purity. I hate this, she should have told me,” Jeremy lashed his anger into the empty space. His countenance was twisted with rage, perplexity and surprise.

“Don’t jump into conclusions, yet,” Allan rebuked him.

“He’s right,” Darren supported, “She may not have known Tricia was your ex. You dont know the whole story yet. Wait till you hear it,” Darren quickly added, hoping to reduce his rising anger.

Jeremy shook his head. Where was he going to hear the story from? Who was going to give him the full details? Just who was gonna do that? Tricia had to answer his questions. What exactly did she go there to do? He peered at the picture in the phone for the second time, scrutinizing it. Then he noticed something he hadn’t seen before. The dress Tricia was wearing. She had visited him in that dress. That was the day they had a fight, a disagreement. She promised to deal with Purity. Did she actually do that? Or was that what she was doing? Who did she visit first – him or Purity? He surely needed answers. He was going to get to the buttom of this. Who could come out with the truth? Who? Tricia could lie. “Heather,” he answered himself.

*
*
*
Purity lay on the soft bed Ernest had brought in for her and closed her eyes. She felt relaxed and her nerves were soothed. It’d been days since she had craved for a beauty sleep, she was glad she was going to have one tonight. She patiently waited for sleep to erode her, to take her into a world of dreams and fantasies. All that would make her forget her loneliness, the pain and anger she felt towards Ernest. All she wanted was a good night rest.

Seconds rolled into minutes, yet she was not a bit sleepy. Minutes stretched into hours, but she was still very much awake. She found herself thinking about Jeremy. She wondered if he was alright and in good health. His memory – had he gotten it back? Did he think of her or was Tricia Cayson by his side. Probably, they’re together in bed, she sadly mused. Who was this Tricia by the way? She was not sure she’d seen or met with her. The only thing she knew about her was that she was Jeremy’s ex girlfriend.

Purity hastily pushed those thoughts aside. She was not going to start thinking of another woman being with Jeremy. She wasn’t going to get hurt or jealous. She just had to stop. She thought about her parents and her brothers. How devasteted they must be feeling because of her absence. She wondered how they were coping – especially her mum. Her papa was strong, he could handle almost anything. At that moment, she missed them, she missed everything and everyone. Her life, left behind was meaningful. Now she knew the importance of family and being surrounded with loved ones. She had learnt a lot and if she was going to make it out alive, she’d never trade her family’s love for anything else.

The urge, the need to get back, to escape was eating her up. She had to leave, to help herself. She needed to do something. But there was something else, it was stronger, powerful and overwhelming. That hope, that confidence swept through her. She did not need to fight back – that was what she had always done. This time around, it wouldn’t be so. She was going to face it, allow it to come around. The confidence that Jeremy was coming for her had a strong effect over her entire self. She was not going to run away. Jeremy was going to rescue her and Ernest was going to hand her back to the man who deserved her. A weak smile flittered across her face. She was going to do just that – wait till she will be set free.

Slowly, she dried her eyes with the back of her hands, “I believe he’ll come,” she muttered.

*
*
*
“Heather?” Jeremy called into his phone.

“Yes, may I know who is speaking, please?” came a voice. A voice whom he recognized as Heather’s.

He heaved a sigh. “Jeremy Broderick?”

“Jere…… What?” she gasped.

>>

Zippor: grandma; why haven't you visit us ever since?
Julia: i am not just comfortable whenever i come here; i always see the face of my daughter
Lola: we understand grandma; is not easy for one's daughter to die in front of her
Julia: whoa; my daughter is a big girl now
Katherina: grandma; i missed you
Julia: and i missed you all really badly (she hugged them) where is Isabella?
Zippor: she is not back yet
Julia: back from where?
Katherina: grandma she worked at school library and at teacher Truth's apartment
Julia: what?
Isabella: grandma; what did you bring?
Julia: my daughter; where are you coming from
Isabella: i work
Julia: i know your name was shortlisted for....
Isabella: yes that is the truth
Julia: and i also know that you got that job because you like it but not because you want to earn a living
Isabella: grandma
Julia: what?
Katherina: grandma; i and Lola are off to the kitchen to prepare something
Julia: no problem
Zippor: i go ahead also
Julia: alright
Isabella: grandma; let me go and get you juice
Julia: you dont have to my daughter; can we talk
Isabella: sure grandma
Julia: what's going on with you?
Isabella: nothing grandma; i just want to help out
Julia: oh what? i'm still alive; i can always feed you all; i allowed Katherina to work because she is done with her secondary school
Isabella: but it doesn't matter; all the jobs i do; nor is taking me away from school
Julia: why are you doing this?
Isabella: i just want to; no reason or maybe i just want to experience what feel like to be a worker or earning money but that is not because i don't trust you to care for us
Julia: that is not true; i know you are doing all this things to help your dad
Isabella: grandma
Julia: dont tell me lies
Isabella: grandma; i know you are the best grandma and mother to every grandchild and child; there are so many things we could asked you but not even one of them you will like to failed to fulfilled but there are something we wouldn't want to asked of you; so that when you reject to do them; we wouldn't libelled you bad
Julia: i will never reject you all anything
Isabella: i know grandma; but please lets leave it like that
Julia: the money is for your dad's lawsuit
Isabella: yes grandma
Julia: why do you want to?
Isabella: i want to help dad out; he is going through hard time, he doesnt need to pay for the crime
Julia: what? he killed my daughter in front of me and your mother
Isabella: i know grandma, what he did was inhuman but he is still our dad and i know if mom was alive she will still want what is best for dad because she love him and she is kind hearted and she got it from you and i hope you wouldn't get mad at us for wanting to help dad
Julia: if that is what you want; i will respect your decision
Isabella: yes grandma that is why you are the best grandma in town
Julia: is alright, you are cunning
Isabella: thank you grandma (she hugged her)
Julia: i wish you are my daughter

Isabella: but i am your granddaughter right
Julia: yes, you are and i will never let you go
Katherina: grandma; food is ready
Julia: alright
Isabella: grandma; lets go (curtain) good day sir
Barr know all: good day young lady; what can i do for you?
Katherina: sir we want you to represent our dad in his case
Barr know all: what is his offence?
Zippor: he killed someone
Barr know all: that means he is guilt of murder?
Isabella: he is not; i thought the court says,'everyone is innocent of a crime committed until it is proven otherwise'
Barr know all: and it hasn't change
Isabella: but you just pronounce him guilt without hearing him out
Barr know all: i'm sorry; so who did he......
Lola: mom
Barr know all: what?
Zippor: yes,it was mom
Isabella: but it wasnt intentional; it was an accident
Barr know all: alright; i need to speak with him and get the full details from him but you have to pay for my services
Katharina: how much is it sir?
Barr know all: for a start is a hundred thousand
Lola: that is expensive; how do you expect us to get that kind of money
Barr know all: then i cant help you
Isabella: please sir; help us;we have no one else to help us. we beg of you(she knee down) please sir
Barr know all: i cant;just leave;get out before i call security
Lola: come lets go
Isabella: sir; do you have children?do you have age parent?do you have wife; sibling?will you be happy if you know you are the only one that could make your family happy and you are not there; will you not do anything just to be with them?i know you are an honorable man and you love justice because of that; you wouldnt turn your eyes away from helping us and you wouldnt let your gold heart turn darks
Barr know all: is alright my daughter; how old are you?
Isabella: am fourteen sir; can you help us
Barr know all: i will help you, you pay half of the money even if you dont have it now;we can work something out
Isabella: thank you sir(she jump on him)
Katherina: thank you very much sir
Barr know all: is alright; you all can go; just drop your contact with my secretary
Lola: thank you sir
Isabella: yes, at least; dad will soon be free
Katherina: yes shall we (curtain)
Obed: what is going on?
Obedient: cant you see we are eating
Obed: you are eating with that bastard without me
Obedient: will you keep quiet
Obed: dont dare tell me to because you are not older than me;we are both born on same day(she throw away the food)
Zuriel: i just do not have the time(he pause)stop
Obed: if i dont; what will you do?
Zuriel: dont you dare me because you would like what i will do to you
Obed: you cant do anything
Zuriel: that's what you think(Obed pushed him and fight broke out)
Ada: stop it both of you; go on stop them
Obedient: leave him; someone need to teach him a lesson
Alice: what is going on here(she separated them)you want to kill my son
Zuriel: he started it; i told him not to push the issue but he wouldnt listen
Alice: what did he do?
Obedient: mom; he throw away the food we were eating
Alice: and so
Obedient: mother; you are taking his side
Obed: Mom; they didnt called me to join them; that is why i did it
Obedient: you are very stupid
Alice: will you stop that; if others insult your brother will you also insult him
Zuriel: mom you are spoiling this boy
Alice: see who is talking;are you good? you accursed child
Zuriel: what did you just called me?
Alice: are you better than one
Zuriel: i may not be better than one but i am not like your worthless son Obed(she slapped him twice)
Alice: it will never be well with you and i'm going to make sure you leave this house just like your mother(she pour him a cup of juice)(enter Zeal)you are evil(she used her bag to hit him on the head)
Zeal: woman dont push it; dont you dare hurt my son
Alice: cant you see your son is insulting me (she cried)
Zeal: your tears doesnt move me; even if he was doing that; isnt it enough that you dredge him with water; tell me do you want to kill my son
Alice: take side with him; i will leave with my kids
Zeal: you are a coward;if you want to leave; you don't have to tell me; leave just as Melisa did; that is what an hero do;nonsense
Alice: you are happy now right
Zuriel: i am sorry mom
Alice: sorry for yourself; Obed come lets go (exit both)
Zuriel: what do mom hate me; so much
Obedient: she doesnt; she is only insecure
Zuriel: why? do i have anything?
Ada: that is enough; i will just tell Mercy to prepare something else for us
Zuriel: there is no need; i just want to rest
Mara: sister; dont you want to go back to your family
Melisa: my family
Mara: of cause your family
Melisa: are you not my family?
Mara: of cause; i'm but your immediate family
Melisa: i dont want to, i miss then, all of them but i dont want to
Mara: is it that your love for him as grow cold?
Melisa: even if my love for him as grow cold, my love for my son will never grow cold
Mara: but why did you leave your son behind?
Melisa: i dont want to deprive him of a father;i see how much he love his father and how much he want to see him happy, even if i have deprive him of his right to know his biological parent
Mara: what did you mean by his biological parent?
Melisa: dont worry; maybe someday when i am able to make it up to my son;i wouldnt be able to set him free because i love him and because he is the only reason why i still have someone to call me mother
Mara: you are getting me confuse
Melisa: why should i?when you and i are the only family i have
Mara: you still have your husband and your son
Melisa: i pray they still love me
Mara: definitely,your husband and son love for you will never grow cold even from his speech; those time he called to check on you show that he love you
Melisa: you really think so
Mara: i don't think; i know so; go on try and reach them
Melisa: i will do that but not now
Mara: and do it very fast before time run out
Melisa: thank you very much my love
Mara: you welcome; sweetie(curtain)
Mark: my friend how are you?
Joab: i'm fine
Mark: i am really sorry; i haven't be able to raise money for your case; so that i can get you a lawyer
Joab: you dont have to; Isabella will get the money for me
Mark: how do you expect her to get that kind of money from?
Joab: how would i know? and i dont even care
Mark: i dont think you know you want her to become a prostitute
Joab: who said,'i care if she become a prostitute' all i want is for her to look for way to get me out of there
Mark: she is your daughter and not a slave; dont take it hard on her
Joab: point of correction she is not my daughter
Mark: what did you mean?
Warder: time up; visiting hours is over
Mark: alright; fine; i will go ahead and please take care of yourself
Joab: i will; bye
Mark: bye(curtain)
Warder: you can go back to your cell
Joab: no problem sir
Isabella: good afternoon miss
Mary: want to borrow biology text book
Isabella: when are you bring it?
Mary: in a fortnight
Isabella: alright; can i see your identity card?
Mary: here it is
Isabella: alright; right down your name;class;the name of the book you want to borrow;when you borrowed it and when you want to return it
Mary: is alright
Isabella: thanks for your cooperation
Mary: you welcome
Isabella: miss;please be quiet this is a library
Loyal:i am sorry
Isabella: thank you
Obed: come here you
Mercy: do you know you don't have respect
Obed: i should respect you in my father's house? you must be really stupid
Mercy: do i blame you
Obedient: what is going on here?
Obed: is it not this low life that said,'i don't have respect
Mercy: are you okay?she is not your mate at the first place and please stop insulting people, you are hurting dad with your action
Obed: i dont care how dad feel because he doesn't love me and if you want to take side with them fine(exit Obed)
Obedient: i am sorry; i am really sorry
Mercy: is alright,i will just go ahead and rest
Obedient: alright(curtain)
Zeal: son, how are you?
Zuriel: i'm good
Zeal: are you sure?
Zuriel: of cause i am not a baby
Zeal: oh my boy,that means you can take whatever comes your way
Zuriel: come on dad; when you use those words i know you are up to no good and i know you want to tell me something; go on and tell me
Zeal: go on,read your dad's mind
Zuriel: come on dad, i am not trying to read your mind but i just know you want to say something
Zeal: of cause; i have something to say
Zuriel: go on tell me
Zeal: i hope you wouldn't react negatively and please dont get mad
Zuriel: don't worry about me; just say it
Zeal: are you sure
Zuriel: i am; come off it; just tell me
Zeal: your mom called to check on you
Zuriel: what for?
Zeal: she want to know about your well being
Zuriel: really?what did she care?i thought she doesn't love me anymore
Zeal: that is not true; she love you deeply
Zuriel: she doesnt love me; if she does she would had called me not you. she wouldnt had stay so long before trying to reach each and everyone of us and she wouldnt have left us and dad please stop; stop making me feel guilty when i am not the bad one here
Zeal: son that is not true
Zuriel: dad please drop this topic;i don't want to sound rude but i just don't want to continue this conversation;excuse me
Alice: let him; i told you to let the sleeping dog be
Zeal: i dont want my son to grow up having so much pains in his eyes for his mother
Alice: if he does; is all his mother's fault; which woman will leave his fourteen yes old son alone at a time; when he needed her most
Zeal: stop it woman; if you dont have anything to say just keep your mouth shut
Alice: if you think so; i'm just trying to make you feel better. at least it just a harmless conversation
Zeal: i dont want it;so let me be
Alice: fine; is not like i cared
Zeal: whatever........







continue later




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Jackson: mother;you are getting funny of this little girl
Janet: i don't know;i just like her
Mercy: you should be happy because grand ma doesn't love easily
Blessing: of cause or did you charm her
Janet: among my grandchildren both of you are the most crazy ones
Mercy: that is why we are girls. boys are too uptight but it would had be more fun,if there are more girls
Janet: of cause their more girls;i have Stephanie and Beauty now
Mercy: fun you;baby brother can you get me a cup of juice
Desmond: please don't start;Beauty go get it for her
Mercy: please;i am begging you
Desmond: alright;i came to eat and now they are turning me to an errand boy
Mercy: thank you
Blessing: Stephanie
Stephanie: yes
Blessing: can you please go to the sink and get me water?
Beauty: but there is water here
Blessing: i don't want cold water
Beauty: i will get it from you;just let her be
Blessing: no
beauty: she is our visitor
Janet: that is true;Beauty;you go
Mercy: grandma;if you don't let her feel at home;how will she be comfortable?
Rose: but....
Stephanie: don't worry i will get it,after all;she is my friend
Jackson: Mercy
Mercy: what dad?(she smiled)
Jackson: why are you smiling?
Mercy: nothing dad
Rose: i hope you two are not up to some mischief
Blessing: no mom
Janet: lets just wait for them before we start eating
Stephanie: where is the kitchen(she hit Desmond)i am sorry
Desmond: will you watch where you are going to?
Stephanie: i said i am sorry;is just that i don't know the way to the kitchen
Desmond: are you blind?deaf or maybe you are drunk. cant you asked question before invading people apartment or be truthful to yourself you are just looking for way to come meet me here
Stephanie: you are crazy(she slapped him)
Desmond: why did you do that?(he held her hand)
Stephanie: let go of me;you are hurting me
Desmond: i will do it again and again. if don't leave this house(she cry) will you wipe those crocodile tears off your eyes
Stephanie:do you hate me that much?did i do anything wrong?i am sorry;please forgive me. i am sorry if i said anything that hurt your feelings
Desmond: i am not in the mood for that
Stephanie: please just tell me;you were joking when you break up with me and you are just acting all this time i am here (he held him by the hand)
Desmond: stop being a flirt;everything i said and do;i meant it. if you are done with your allusion join the others

Rose: what is keeping those two
Desmond: am here @lready. here is your juice

Mercy: thanks;where is Stephie?
Desmond: i don't know
Beauty: here she comes
Stephanie: i am sorry ma
Jackson: shall we eat
Rose: of cause
Stephanie: with all due respect ma;can i go to my room
Rose: but you haven't eaten and you don't look happy
Stephanie: i am fine and i am really not hungry
Jackson: are you sure
Stephanie: yes sir
Jackson: you can go
Stephanie: thanks sir
Blessing: Desmond

Desmond: what?i did nothing to her Blessing: i didn't say you did something to her but now i am asking you;what did you do to her?
Rose: Blessing
Blessing: mom;don't try to stop me. DESMOND answer the question
Desmond: i did nothing;i just lost my appetite. excuse me
Jackson: thank you all for making this food worthless
Rose: what is wrong with you kids?
Mercy: nothing;just don't spoil that boy all in the name of trying make it up to him
Rose: i am not
Janet: is alright


Peace: Lisa;what are you thinking straight?
Monalisa: of cause
Peace: i don't think so because if you are;you wont be acting stupid
Monalisa: i am your elder sister so i deserve to be treated with respect
Peace: respect?why did you let her live in that house?
Monalisa: what do you want me to do?to reject the offer;when Rise asked me to?for her to see me as a devil
Peace: all this wont had happen if you are not selfish. you made him break up with her;she is hurt and now you are making her see him every passing second. you are heartless. am out of here
Monalisa: i wish i could right the wrong. it is not easy for me also but i don't want my daughter to get pregnant

Blessing: baby;i brought you food
Stephanie: i am not hungry
Blessing: don't get mad because of my brother
Stephanie: i am not;i just lost my appetite
Blessing: really?tell me;what happen between you and my brother?
Stephanie::nothing
Blessing: what do you mean nothing?yo two are really close then tell me everything;what did you do t him?
Stephanie::nothing;just go and asked your brother not me. good night
Blessing: good night
Desmond: i hate it. i hate hurting you but i just have to
Beauty: Desmond;what is eating you up?
Desmond: nothing
Beauty: come on;tell me
Desmond: i said nothing;are you deaf?
Beauty: sorry sir
Desmond: better

Mercy: thank God you came
Georgina: did you miss me that much?my baby;i miss you so much(she jump on him)i really missed you
Desmond: let go of me and stop jumping on me;its embarrassing
Georgina: i am embarrassing you?
Blessing: Gina
Georgina: oh!you came here with her?you slot;you two time bitch;prostitute;lowlife(she pushed her but she did not react)oh!you have suddenly gone crazy?go on gold digger;flirt(she turn to leave)come here;i am talking to you
Desmond: will you stop it
Georgina: you want to hit me because of this thing
Desmond: don't push me
Georgina: go ahead and hit me(he rise his hand up) go on
Mercy: Desmond;let her be,she is a lady
Stephanie: i didn't asked you to defend me;i can do that myself
Georgina: i will so deal with you that you wont recognize yourself
Stephanie: you will deal with me?you should be happy;i did not tell on you. isn't it enough that you made me suffer in the hands of those kidnappers?isn't it worse that i live in a foreign land because of what?Desmond. someone that feels nothing for me;someone that hurt me each passing day;someone that never for once think about my feelings;who always call me names;whom will not think twice before hurting me(tears roll her eyes)who keep hurting me up till this moment. tell me;is it a crime to love someone that is not in love with you as much as you do?you tell me?(he held her hand)let go of and stop acting

Blessing: brother;what is going on?go on and tell us,we are family
Desmond: nothing
Georgina: what is going on with him
Mercy::you;why cant you just leave him alone?at least you have find someone else. leave my brother alone
Georgina::even you
Mercy: yes;just go and stay with your new found love
Georgina: i am leaving already
Mercy: better
Blessing: what is wring with you?
Mercy; nothing;let her just go
Blessing: is okay

Stephanie: ma;you sent for me?
Rose: have you been crying?
Stephanie: no ma;something just got into my eyes
Rose: okay;can i talk to you?
Stephanie: of cause
Rose: i have been meaning to tell you.....
Stephanie: is alright ma;i know what you want to say,i understand perfectly well;why you didn't want me for your son?is because i am a gold digger. is okay;fake has a way of playing with us. if my mom was your shoe she will feel same way too
Rose: but i hurt you in the process and i also hurt my son
Stephanie: you really don't have to apologies. is all in the past now that i have come to know you,i realise you are not a bad person but you are kindhearted that is why you always want to protect your son
Rose: i am sorry

Stephanie: is okay;i forgive you (she wipe her tears and hug her) am grateful that you gave me the opportunity to know you
Rose: thank you very much
Stephanie: i want to tell you that i am leaving
Rose: but why?
Stephanie: i just want to go and start my life anew
Blessing: you are leaving
Mercy: did we do anything wrong?
Stephanie: is nothing;i just want to g back to my family
Blessing: please don't leave
Stephanie: your family are good but i still have to go
Rose: fine;if you have to go,come you do me a favor
Stephanie: which is?
Rose: you all should accompany her to the mall for shopping
Stephanie: you don't have to
Rose: i want to. Desmond;please take them for shopping
Desmond: i cant i am not her driver
Rose: please;do it for me
Desmond: i am sorry mom;i don't want to
Blessing: mom;don't bother. i will tell the driver's son to take us
Rose: will he agree
Mercy: i am sure he will
Rose: alright;take are
Blessing: bye mom(at the mall)why is that boy staring at us?
Mercy: maybe he like you
Blessing::you are crazy
Stephanie: i am done;shall we go
Blessing: of cause
Bob: excuse me young lady
Mercy::who are you referring you?
Bob: she(he point to Stephanie)my name is Bob and you are
Stephanie: Stephie
Bob: what a beautiful name for a beautiful girl
STEPHANIE: thank you;
Bob: can i have your number?
Stephanie: i don't have a phone
Bob: don't tell me that;i know you have one
Stephanie: even if i do;i cant give it to you
Bob: i just love you
Stephanie: i cant
Bob: is it because you have a boyfriend

Blessing: of cause she has a boyfriend and her boyfriend is outside
Bob: i don't believe you
Blessing: believe it or leave it
Mercy: what were you thinking tell him that her boyfriend is outside
Blessing: i really don't know(she turn and saw Emma)i have an idea
Mercy: which is?
Blessing: watch;hi Emma
Emma: hello
Blessing: can you do me a favor
Emma::whish is?
Blessing: pretend to be Stephanie boyfriend
Emma: but ma
Blessing: please
Mercy: what is going on on that head of yours?
Blessing: please
Mercy: Emma;please just call her anything;here they comes be fast

Bob:: come on;stop acting like a baby
Stephanie: will you stop touching me?
Emma: hey stay away from my girl before i loss it. baby shall we(he kiss her)shall we
Bob: this is ridiculous. am out of here
Mercy: Jesus
Emma: i am sorry ma;i didn't mean to do that
Stephanie: is okay
Emma: i am sorry ma Blessing;i didn't mean to. don't know when i did it
Mercy: is fine;is not your fault at least you save the situation. we will go ahead
Stephanie: thank you

Beauty: why did yo refuse to drive them?
Desmond: i am not their driver
Beauty: you have to be careful so that you don't invite your mom's anger
Desmond: i don't care


Gardener: how was it?
Emma: it was okay
Gatekeeper: you are happy now that you drove them
Emma: why should i be happy?
Gardener: is because you get to sit in the same car with them
Emma: you are mad. all don't know the mistake i made
Gardener: which is?
Emma: they asked me to pretend to be a boyfriend and i ended up kissing. which is not part of the deal
Gardener: why and who did you kiss?
Emma: a friend of Desmond when a boy is disturbing her;her lips was so tempting
Gatekeeper: Stephanie
Emma: yes
Gardener: you kiss Stephanie?
Desmond: what did you just say?(he punch him)you stupid boy (they both fought)

Beauty: stop it Desmond. hurry up go call ma Rose. stop it






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Holy toasting [Read it]


Holy Toasting...!
Boy: do you have a boyfriend?
Girl: No. I don’t want a boyfriend.
Boy: Genesis 2:18 “The Lord God said, ‘It is
not good for the man to be alone. I will make
a helper suitable for him’.”
Girl: But I don’t love you.
Boy: 1 John 4:8 "Whoever does not love, does
not know God, because God is love.”
Girl: So how do I discern that your words are
true?
Boy: Matthew 12:34b “For the mouth speaks
what the heart is full of."
Girl: But how can I be sure that you are
faithful and honest?
Boy: Mark 13:31 “Heaven and earth will pass
away, but my words will never pass away."
Girl: But why me? There are so many girls out
there.
Boy: Proverbs 31:29 “Many women do noble
things, but you surpass them all!”
Girl: But what do you see in me, that makes
you love me?
Boy: Song of Songs 4:7 " You are altogether
beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you."
Girl: But really, I’m not that beautiful … you’re
exaggerating.
Boy: Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and
beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the
Lord is to be praised.”
Girl: What will happen if I say yes?
Boy: Genesis 2:24 “That is why a man leaves
his father and mother and is united to his wife,
and they become one flesh."
Girl: How is it that you know so many
Scriptures?
Boy: Joshua 1:8 “Keep this Book of the Law
always on your lips; meditate on it day and
night, so that you may be careful to do
everything written in it. Then you will be
prosperous and successful. "
Girl: Wooow, I can see you really love God.
Boy: Psalm 34:8 “Taste and see that the Lord
is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in
Him!”
Girl: Hmmm. Ok please just give me some time
to think about this.
Boy: Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers and
sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble,
whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever
is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is
excellent or praiseworthy—think about such
things."
Girl: owwww I love you already
Boy: Revelations 22:21b "Amen."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-26 20:14:34

635 Views



TEST [Read it]


Do you know that you can find 104 words from the word "Television" mine is lion, please drop yours.Do not repeat another person's word


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-14 02:59:18

527 Views




“Sometimes” Sorry means :- Its not my fault, Itz Urs.. Accept it! It would make me feel better..

“Sometimes” Good Night means :- Don’t keep d phone stupid.. I want 2 talk more..

“Sometimes” Take Care means :- I’m not well & need 2b Cared 4..

“Sometimes” Disconnecting a Phone means :- Call me back! I want u 2 persuade Me with Something Special..

“Sometimes” Smile means more dan Tears..

“Sometimes” Tears r more Satisfying dan Smile..

“Sometimes” I Hate U means :- No One can Love You more than Me pls don’t leave me..

There R Few Ppl who understand these Exceptional & these Ppl R found…

“SOMETIMES” . . .Related

Plain crash [Read it]


Akpos and his wife were traveling to Italy by air. As they were at the peak of the journey, the pilot made an announcement, “Ladies and gentlemen, we are sorry to announce that one of the engines has stopped working while the remaining one is not functioning as required. Therefore, we may crash in a few minutes from now. We advise that everyone should reconcile with God and settle every issue that need to be settled.”

At that point, Akpos touched his wife and said, “Honey, please forgive me! Your sister, Simi, who stays with us is my sex machine. We had several abortions. She has even planned to poison you on our return from Italy so that the both of us will be together. Please, find a place
in your heart to forgive me."

His wife responded, “No problem dear.” she continued, “Since it’s a confession moment, let me also confess. Please, you must also forgive me. Two of our children, John and Esther, are not your biological children. Your biological child is Victoria. The rest belong to Kwame, your best friend. Do you remember the day you were robbed last year?”

Akpos answered, “Yes I remember.”

She continues, “I actually set you up with some gangs who robbed you because I needed the money to pay for my boyfriend, Kingsley, tuition fees. He got admission into Oxford University in England. Even now as we are talking, I have arranged for your death with an assassin on our return back home.”

Akpos responded, “No problem sweetie, I have forgiven you.”

Meanwhile, as the confessions were going on, the pilot announced again. “Ladies and gentlemen, is like you people are powerful men/women of faith because God has answered your prayers, the two engines are perfectly ok and we are sure of safe landing.”

At that point, Akpos stood up and shouted “Pilot! Pilot!! This plane must crash or I will crash the plane!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-26 19:45:32

1326 Views




Interviewer : where were you born?
Akpos : lagos
Interviewer : which part?
Akpos : what did you mean which part?
The whole body was born in lagos


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-29 21:14:16

402 Views



smart guy [Read it]


My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw arncoconut at his face.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-05 22:57:09

279 Views




Allan’s three words jolted him back to reality. Tell us? Tell us? Tell us? He blinked twice and used his right palm to rub his face. “Tell you what?”

“How you met Purity Theodore, dated her, fell for her and proposed to her,” Alan elaborated.

Jeremy disagreed. “I don’t really want to talk about all that. I might just get depressed again and again.”

“I don’t think so. Please, tell us,” Darren insisted, using Allan’s words, “You see, I haven’t seen the love of your life, not even a picture. I’m curious to know about the beauty who have stolen your heartbeat. I used to know you as a play boy. Please, talk to me.”

Jeremy laughed softly. His friend’s thoughtful expression lightened him a little. “Alright.” He grinned widely, remembering how he had met with Purity. Pretty witch – the name he had given her that very day. He had also silenced her with a breath taking kiss. “Well,” he was feeling shy, “Um, we were not the best of friends when we met. More like enemies, very good ones.”

Darren was intrigued. “Have you heard this story, Allan?”

“I don’t think so, please carry on,” he prompted Jeremy to continue.

“Do you still remember the girl who I told you two about? The girl who practically made me deal with women the way I did?” Jeremy inquired, he wanted to relate his love story in a way that his friends would contribute.

Allan thought for a while. Then he got it. “The little girl who used vile words on you after you helped her out?” His eyes widened, “That’s Purity? Is this a joke?”

“Wait, wait,” Darren was smiling in a funny way. “The little girl that practically turned you into a play boy is the same girl you’re crazy about?”

Jeremy nodded, confirming their suspicions. “She’s a woman, now.”

“This is interesting!” They exclaimed in unison. Soon, they all cackled with laughter.

Jeremy was beginning to feel better. Talking really did lots and lots of good. “I still felt hatred for her and did not want to marry her. She hated me too. But our parents were determined to see us end together. They set a date for us and I met her at a restaurant. And that was how our love story began…..”
*
*
*
Ernest was roaming around the sitting room from one end to the other. Anger was boldly written on his face. One did not have to glance at him twice to know he was extremely angry. They beat him to his game. No one has ever done this. He’ll see to it that they fail woefully. He’ll definitely ruin their plans. He angrily hurled a vase against the well. It hit the hall, creating a loud, ear-piercing sound, it broke into pieces and laid shattered on the floor.

“What’s gotten into you, huh? Are you gonna do this again? Get a hold of yourself!” Tricia yelled at him, fuming at his violent attitude. She was disappointed that they could not find the tape as well. What they needed was a solution to that and not smashing vases on walls.

He sneered at her. “What more can I do?”

She gave a sardonic laugh. “Now, I can see you don’t have a single thinking faculty. We didn’t find the tape. And so what? All hope isn’t lost yet. You drugged, kidnapped and assaulted Jeremy with a mask on. There’s nothing to prove that it was you. Unless you made a silly mistake. Just stop doing this rubbish and take that woman faraway.” She paced, getting more ideas. “Do something, something to her that’d make Jeremy despise her. She’ll become yours.”

“That’s very easy to say.” He faced her sternly. “I am so mad because this have never happened. Whoever took that tape is asking for trouble. They could nail me to the crime.”

“They’ll definitely do that since you’re feeling nervous, already.” she threw at him.

“Are you sure Jeremy is not out of the hospital? He is the only one I suspect.”

“He’s not out and the doctor is at the hospital. He hadn’t discharged him yet. They will get started tomorrow. The police isn’t aware yet. They have not done anything at all.” She sounded convincing and persuasive. “You have all the time now to get going with her.”

She was right, but she was wrong. “I have all the time. Running away with her would only arouse suspicions. Taking things slowly is the best option for now. I need to cover my tracks cleverly and avoid making mistakes. One has been made already.”

She nodded. “I’ll watch your back.”

“Yeah.” He was okay now and the anger had left him, completely. “Get going now, it’s late.”

“I would never have agreed to this. I did it for your mother.” Her heart was already breaking into shreds. How could Jeremy accuse her of playing with the hearts of men, especially his. Her heart had never hurt this much. It was a horrid pain. She never wished to experience this in her life, ever again.

“My mother, what do you mean?”

“It was her last wish that I marry you!” That revelation took her by surprise. That was a mistake on her part. Edwin Broderick was to reveal this secret to his son and not her. She wished she’d take her words back, but it was all too late.

“No, no.” he whispered. He turned his back on her and walked out of the living room.

“Jeremy, I’m sorry,” she apologised. The words came out too late, for he was already out of the room. She gulped down her tears and blinked the ones clouded in her eyes, back.

She braced herself and was ready to go after him. She wasn’t properly composed emotionally. She still had lots and lots of things running through her mind. As she lifted her right foot, she unconsciously dropped it on her left foot, she tripped and fell to the ground. She groaned in pain as the tears ran down her cheeks. The urge to shout as the pain swept over her was overwhelming, but she wasn’t willing to. She bit her lips hard and tightly closed her eyes, trying to make the pains vanish.

After several minutes of struggling, she was finally able to lift her weight off the ground. She sighed wearily. She was already looking tired and weary. She dusted her clothes, put her hair in order and was ready to go. Before she could take any more step, a hand from behind, held her waist firmly. She quickly turned around and screamed loudly in fright. It wasn’t Jeremy, it was a man masked and dressed in black. Her lips quivered and her entire body shook nervously in his arm. He wasn’t letting to. His grip was deadly.

She opened her mouth to scream a second time, but he covered it immediately and dragged her into an inner room? She fought with him, however, he prevailed over her. She had to succumb to whatever he wanted her to do.

Then, she heard the voice of Jeremy. He called her his love, he was looking for her. That prompted her to cry softly. The masked man couldn’t let anything go wrong, he pointed a gun to her head which made her stiffen, she was unable to move and make a sound.

His footsteps could be heard, he was coming close and close. Her heart was beating rapidly and loudly. She closed her eyes and silently prayed. Please, he shouldn’t get to this door, he shouldn’t. She was sure the masked man would shoot him if he opened the door. It was as if her prayers were answered. His footsteps were retreating, moving to another angle. She was greatly relieved, Jeremy was safe. He would come for her, he would save her as long as he was alive. She knew he would, a better part of her hoped in him as she begged God to spare his life and make him safe. Too busy with her thoughts, she was oblivious to what was happening around her.

Her abductor spun her around and forced a handkerchief on her nostrils. She couldn’t resist, the drug was already having its effect on her. She suddenly began feeling dizzy, and everywhere was dancing round and round. His twin brother appeared from nowhere and they began smiling at her. Her brain went numb. She was unable to understand anything. She closed her eyes and drifted into a deep slumber.

The drug had taken its toll on her.
*
*
*
Slowly her eyes fluttered open. The things around her didn’t seem normal. They were all shadowy. At intervals, they became clear, later on they go back to being smoky. As her vision kept blurring, she saw a man standing before her. Jeremy, she quickly thought. Yes, that was Jeremy. He had come to rescue her, to set her free and take her in his arms. She was full of joy. She closed her eyes and opened it almost immediately to have a clearer view of her darling. A smile touched the corners of her mouth as she accessed him from his foot, gradually getting to his face.

That beautiful smile faded away and was replaced with disappointment and horror. She gasped in utter amazement and her eyes widened. She shook her head, sadly. “You,” she forced herself to speak, “You are not Jeremy.”

His eyes smouldered with jealousy. “You just woke up from a deep slumber and the first person you ask of is Jeremy?” He scoffed.

Purity’s head was beginning to ache badly. She squeezed her face, displaying her discomfort. “It hurts,” she muttered to herself, inaudibly.


>>

Akpos Fun Time [Read it]


YOU KNOW IT'S A NIGERIA MOVIE WHEN:
~ A man shoots himself on the head 3 times...Habaaa !!!!!!!
How in the world is that possible?

~ RMD remembering when he was still 7years old as far
back as 1960 and suddenly a HUMMER passes in front of
him....... Chinekeee

~ Patience Ozokwor poisons Zark Orji's food,
she stirs the poison so that it will
circulate to all parts of the meal and then she tastes it,
Zack Orji dies while she survives, Nawaa oo

~ Someone flashes back to 1982 and behind him is a sign board
"Vote for Goodluck Jonathan" Hmmmm

~ A 7year old character is washing plates and he suddenly becomes
an adult in his 20's still washing the same plates and wearing the same trousers...

~ Omotola is depicted as a poor woman suffering in the village and
has to do serious farm work to survive only for you to see that
her fingernails are fixed with long plastic nails and
painted crimson red.

~ Tonto Dike acting a born again village girl, yet has tattoos on her body.

~ Someone dies with low cut and his spirit comes back wearing afro... Na wetin?

~ A woman suddenly decides to poison her husband, then she opens her food
cabinet and brings out the substance. Is poison part of cooking ingredients?

~ They shoot you on the leg yet blood starts coming out from your nose.

~ John Okafor (Mr Ibu) is the father of Nkem Owoh (Osofia).
Biko who is older?

~ You must cough before you die..

~ Patience Uzokwu....flashed back to wen she was 17 and playing life
and she is wearing brazilian hair in 1975..................na wetin?

#AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-05 09:08:50

897 Views




‘Zoo-gini? Which one is that?’ Uchechi’s nose was wrinkled as though the mere sound of the course itself added a foul smell to the air.

She did not wait for her daughter’s response before she went on. ‘Why didn’t you fill the doctor I asked you to fill?’

Again, she did not wait.

‘Okay, since you don’t want doctor again, why didn’t you fill engineer, or even lawyer? After all, Mama Nkechi’s second daughter, Uzoma, don’t you know her? She is in one of the universities studying lawyer now. And she is only a few years older than you.’

She turned her eyes round the room, as if to be sure every object in the sitting room was hearing her, bearing witness: the framed photo of Jesus Christ on the wall with one hand on His glittering heart and two fingers of the other hand held up, the wide Toshiba TV with two long, silver arms of antenna forming a V on it, the faded-red armchairs and the centre table covered with a white lace fabric.

Her father sat down on the chair, looking on in silence.

Adaku was more interested in what he had to say. Uchechi, her mother, she knew would always be Uchechi.

Now Uchechi was quiet too, staring at her husband. She has said enough; it was now time for Papa Adaku to buoy her comment by agreeing with her. It wouldn’t change anything because there was almost nothing that could be done now, except, maybe, to ask Adaku to wait for next year to retake JAMB, but his agreeing with her would somehow make her feel better.

Mollified.

But Onochie was taking too long to speak.

‘Papa Adaku, won’t you say something?’

‘Sit down, Ada,’ Mr Onochie said, finally

Ada obeyed immediately. Her father was the exact opposite of her mother. Most times, this made her exceptionally glad, for she’d always known only an Onochie could marry an Uchechi.

‘With my little education,’ her father started, ‘I know the course has to do with animals. Can you tell us more?’

She was staring at her father now, examining his features; his dark and thick brows, his bright-white eyes, straight nose and finely-cut lips, all in a clay-coloured complexion. She admired him.

‘Adaku?’

She stirred. ‘Papa, Zoology is the study of animals. I love biology and Aunty Rose once said it’s a very nice course.’

She felt a twinge of guilt for having lied. Aunty Rose, their Biology teacher in Community, praised her each time she did well in a test or practical. One day, she told her that a biological course would be her best bet in the university. But Aunty Rose never specifically mentioned Zoology.

‘Hey!’ Uchechi clapped her hands. ‘So when others are going about calling themselves mothers of doctors, lawyers and engineers, what will I call myself? Eh, Adaku, ngwa nu, tell me, what? Mother of an animal trainer, onye ozu aturu—shepherd!’

She looked at the other picture of Jesus Christ hanging on the wall opposite her where He was surrounded by white, woolly sheep, as if to be sure she hadn’t upset Him with her comment.

‘Will you be able to get a job with the degree at all?’ her father asked.

‘Yes, Papa. There are many places one with a Zoology degree can find employment.’ She swallowed hard, hoping she hadn’t lied again.

‘Ok. Go inside and celebrate your admission. Everything happens for a reason.’

‘Thank you, Papa.’

She hugged him and took the other way out, as if scared Uchechi’s disappointment might drive her to violence and she’d strike her.

***

Ada was surprised to see how different the school looked now. It had only been some months that she was here to write the Post-JAMB exam.

The paths have turned overgrown and many new buildings were under construction.

At the Bus Stand, she stopped a plump girl in a blue skirt to ask for direction.

The girl’s skirt seemed to have bundled her hips and thighs into one round body part.

‘Please where can I find First Bank, I need to pay my Acceptance Fee,’ Adaku asked her.

The girl turned excited. ‘Are you a new student too?’ she asked.

‘Yes.’

‘Which department?’

Adaku wished she hadn’t asked. ‘Zoology,’ she mumbled out.

‘Geology?’

‘No. Zoo. Zoo-logy.’

The girl’s eyes flew wide in excited surprise. ‘Serious? Zoology?’ Unlike Adaku, she called Zu-logy and not Zuo-logy. ‘I’m in Zoology too!’

‘Really?’

‘Yes!’

Adaku found something melt in her. She never imagined it’d be that easy to find another Zoology, least of all one that screamed it so boldly.

She asked the girl her name and she said Mary.

‘You?’

‘Adaku.’

As they walked to the bank together, she asked Mary if she is happy to have been given Zoology.

Zoology is a course schools give after all, not one people choose by themselves.

‘My dear, this is the fifth year I’d be writing JAMB,’ Mary said. ‘I am tired.’

Now Ada wished she had asked her something else.

‘The funny thing is that I was given this exact course two years ago, but I was busy pursuing Medicine. Shebi I would have been in 200-level by now.’

Not knowing what to say, Ada shook her head slowly.

She was beginning to understand it now. Zoology is one of the courses people ran away from at first, only to come back to when they are ‘tired.’

Somehow, she found herself suddenly different. Her Zoology had come first and fresh, and she was accepting it in its prime. She hadn’t gone ahead to continue trying the other courses. She has not become tired and desperate.

She managed to twist this feeling into little hope. Because she wasn’t ‘exhausted’ yet, she was going to do something different with her Zoology. Something more energetic.

She and Mary entered the bank.

As they stood in the long line with other newly-admitted students, she wondered why they had to pay to accept an offer of admission they’d written two tests for in the first place.

More like collecting money for the prize win after a strenuous competition.

The cashier was exceptionally nice to her. He was slim and dark. His grey shirt was well ironed, but she thought it was too broad for him. His black tie matched the shirt well too, but she thought it too long.

In her eyes, no other man was, could be, perfect. Only one.

But when the cashier revealed a set of clean white teeth in a cute smile, she saw, for a split second, a little of Obinna in him.

‘Hmm, Zoology,’ he said, looking at her details on the screen. ‘I read Botany.’

She smiled back at him.

Later, she would come to learn about the other equally unattractive cousins of Zoology: Botany and Parasitology. And the diligent wannabe—Microbiology. The proud Biochemistry and the mendicant Science Education.

Glimpsing on her smile, the cashier’s broadened, like her smiling back offered him great satisfaction. Perhaps it had.

She has a very cute smile, after all.

He called her zoologist as he handed her her printout. She said thank you.

‘Can I have your number,’ he asked.

She smiled at him and walked away.

Outside the bank, as Mary battled to get reception on her ‘open-and-close’ Bird GSM, it occurred to her that she’d be needing one too.

She wished Obinna had one now. Instead of handwritten letters, they’d hear each other’s voices.

Her father had bought two Trium GSM phones some months ago, for himself and her mother. But Uchechi had rejected hers saying she doesn’t have the time to be saying hello to anybody, that whoever so wanted to speak to her should come to her house.

She called GSM a new form of madness.

So she had given the phone to her, but Adaku never thought about using it. The only person she would have been calling had no number.

Or does he now?

She concluded she was going to start using the phone when she got home. After all, she was going to need it now that she was moving into the hostel.

***

Ahanna was no longer smiling as he walked into the compound.

At the corridor, Obinna was bent over the round, green stove, turning the rice with a long spoon. He’d made it two days ago. A Jollof rice that came out yellower than intended, due to inadequate use of tomatoes.

They had had to gather everything with them to complete Chief’s money.

‘Welcome,’ he said as Ahanna walked past.

He wanted to ask him if he succeeded in contacting those he’d gone out to call, but Ahanna had disappeared through the door before he could turn again.

Some minutes later, he came into the room with Ahanna’s plate of rice and meat and sachet water.

Ahanna had taken two spoons of the rice when he dropped on the carpet beside him and asked, ‘So were you able to contact them?’

Ahanna hummed, mouth bulged with food.

Obinna concluded the hum meant yes and said ok.

The next morning, Ahanna told him it was now time to go and confirm.

Obinna gave him a curious glance before bending to carry the bag.

At Alaba, they couldn’t locate the shops they’d visited before with Okechukwu.

The shop line looked different, as though people had left and new people came in.

They finally entered a shop. A young man in white singlet and jean trousers rolled up to his knees sat on a plastic chair in the shop fanning himself with newspaper.

Ahanna greeted him and asked him if he knew Mr Kayode, the name of the man that had told them he’d pay double for the powder.

The young man’s eyes went narrow in thought and then he shook his head. ‘There is no Mr Kayode here.’

Ahanna turned to leave, but Obinna held him. In a quiet voice, he asked the man if he knew about any baking powder that sells for N100, 000 per bag.

‘Hundred thousand for baking powder?’ The boy was staring at them with a crooked frown. ‘Can I see the powder?’ he said finally.

Obinna brought out one bag and gave him. He opened the sachet slowly and took a bit of the powder with one finger.

Smelling it, he started to laugh. ‘This is custard na!’

Something hammered Obinna’s chest. ‘Custard, are you sure?’

The boy put his white-stained finger to his nose. ‘Smell it na! Custard! Vanilla flavour!’

He continued to laugh and then started to call people around, to come and see another mugus that had fallen. The most recent mugus.

Ahanna disappeared.

Obinna bent and carried the bag, but couldn’t find Ahanna again. The people that had gathered stared pitifully at him. The women among them murmured consoling words. Some of the men laughed hard in amusement.

Sweat poured off him. He felt like crying. He prayed the ground would just open up and swallow him.

At home, Ahanna was lying down on the floor, wearing only his boxers. His eyes were wet and reddish.

Obinna dropped the bag by the corner of the wall. He put a small quantity of water in the kettle and lit the stove.

He dissolved a small part of the powder in a stainless bowl. When the water boiled, he held the kettle to the bowl.

He stopped pouring when the mixture started to turn yellow and he confirmed that it was really custard. He took the bowl outside and flung it away with the hot food.

Back in the room, he couldn’t find Ahanna again. ‘Nwanne!’

He ran outside, to the backyard. Ahanna was sitting on the well.

He joined him. He battled with what to say.

But Ahanna started before he could put anything through.

‘Can I tell you?’

Obinna shifted a little closer. ‘I’m listening.’

‘I did not come to Lagos to sell clothes on the ground in Oshodi. I came to this city with five hundred thousand naira.’

Obinna’s eyes came wide. ‘Five hundred thousand?’

Ahanna nodded. ‘Papa sold our land. Chief Ozua is building on it now.’

‘Your land in Agu-oye.’

Ahanna nodded again.

‘So what happened to the money?’

‘I came to Lagos four years ago. On August 2001. Nwoye brought me. He owned a boutique in Ikeja then. By December that same year, my own shop was already up, just next to his.’

Obinna listened with all attention.

‘Sales were to begin the next year. But something awful happened in Lagos on the 27th day of January, 2002.’

‘What happened?’

‘It was a Sunday. Nwoye and I had just returned from church. It was the time my belief was still strong.’

‘What happened?’

‘We were about to start eating when we heard the first boom! A great sound like the sky fell to earth.’

Obinna’s brows came together suddenly.

‘The glass shattered. The roof was vibrating. And then there was another. And another. The entire house shook. Nwoye and I ran down. The road was already filled with people. Everyone was screaming, running in all directions. Many were trampled. Many were hit. Then a whole lot of others drowned in the canal.’

Tears flowed down Ahanna’s face now.

A trickle sped down Obinna’s cheek even though he did not yet understand.

‘What was happening?’ he asked.

‘Many claimed it was a foreign attack. Some said it was Bin Laden attacking Nigeria. Others called it end time. It was later that the real truth came out. The bombs they stored in the cantonment caught fire and went off, every single one of them.’

Ahanna sniffled.

‘Nwoye’s swollen body was among the hundreds pulled out from the Oke-Afa canal the next day. A pregnant woman in our compound was also found. There was a little boy in the compound, his name was Ahmed. He was the one that first called me Papilo. Once, he told me he’d grow to become a great player just like me. That unlike me, he’d pursue his dream. He’d make sure it came true. He would play for the national team and be like Kanu. But that he would always remember me. His first coach. I believed so much in him. I didn’t believe it was his body when I saw it, dark, swollen and devoid of life.’

Ahanna’s shoulders heaved, his entire face soaked with tears. Obinna was crying too.

‘I lost everything. The shop was razed down.’

Obinna took his hand and pressed tightly.

Ahanna looked at him and gave him a slight nod, but his tears did not stop coming.

‘I thought I wasn’t going to survive it.’ He sniffled. ‘But I did. I survived. But this one, brother, I am no longer sure. I am not sure any more.’

Obinna drew closer and Ahanna clung to him, vibrating with tears. Obinna rubbed his back. ‘We will survive,’ he told him. ‘Nwanne, we will survive.’

For those we lost that day…we remember.



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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The most important things are the hardest to say, bcoz words diminish them.

Forever urs…ur Valentine.Related

Akpors is finally dead.
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I said is his finally dead. Why are you still scrolling down.
Keep scrolling na.
Lol


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-04-20 12:27:09

342 Views




Sometimes, I dunno why some people don’t
know when to show up and when to leave. As for
me, I describe irritating moments as an act of
stupidity. I disowned my semi-friends ‘coz of
their stupidity, now this girl wants me to hate her.
Who else if not Lola…
Lola: Hey guys,,, woah… something smells nice
here (oh my gosh jumping/running towards us)
I’m so so hungry, this look good, Mirabel U
remain the best. (Fetching the untouched food for
herself)
I thought it was only me but Mirabel seems
uncomfortable with her presence.
Lola: U guys aren’t eating, or maybe you’re not
hungry,,, me I’m very hungry o… (rushing the
food into her mouth)
Mirabel: Lola what’s the meaning of this?!
Lola: Is there a meaning for eating food? Shebi
una no dey hungry na
Now the worst thing she did that got me furious,,,
was when she grabbed my or our hollandia
yoghurt, burst it open then popped it into her
wide mouth. My face that moment was so
obvious for Mirabel to notice.
Mirabel stood up, rushed inside, spent about 11
minutes before returning back dressed.
Mirabel: Victor lets go (grabbing her car keys)
Me: What? Where??
Mirabel: Just come with me (walking towards the
exit door)
How can I leave this food that my mind has
blessed? Its aroma alone has already consumed
everything in my tummy making me to have konji
for food. I decided to join her, and I hope she got
something good or even better.
Lola: Where U guys going to?
I dunno who she was asking ‘coz Mirabel was
out already, and I could strangle her to death that
moment.
?????
I got out, I saw Mirabel leaning on her car, she
threw the car keys on me saying…
Mirabel: U drive (she got into the passenger’s
seat after doing that)
I don’t need any one or anything to tell me that
I’m taking her out for dinner.
While driving, I stopped by a store to get a big
seized hollandia yoghurt for our dinner. We got
there after many minutes of driving and gisting.
We walked hand in hand into the restaurant and
took our seats.
Mirabel: How did U know about coming to the
restaurant?
Me: I didn’t know, I just brought U out for dinner
Mirabel: Really…? Without asking me??
Me: Did U tell where we were going to when U
told me to follow U?
**Laughs**.
Mirabel: Hhmmm… seems U got answers for
every question
Me: **Smiled**
We ordered for,,,, Una know na, with our yoghurt,
we ate until she stopped eating but that didn’t
stop me too… I continued cancelling the delicious
meal.
Mirabel: I apologize for my friend Victor, she’s
just like that. I think I really need to talk to her
seriously
Me: U don’t need to apologize to me, after all
she’s also my friend, I understand such.
Mirabel: Are U sure you’re cool about it?
Me: Yea,,, sure
Mirabel: I saw the look on your face the other
time, I was scared that U were going to punch
her **laughing**
Me: **laughed** Don’t mind me jare, I just need
to get use to her
Mirabel: Remember your friends also disturbed
our moment the other day but U didn’t do
anything about it or even apologized to me,,,, It
really got me mad
Me: Oh… That day eh… first, they’re not really my
friends. I call them my semi-friends ‘coz I dunno
much about them, and ‘coz I needed friends then.
Mirabel: I see… how are they doing now?
Me: Well ermmm… to tell U the truth, I dunno
Mirabel: What do U mean by U dunno are they
not your friends anymore?
Me: Yea
Mirabel: What happened?
Me: I ended our friendship that very day that our
moment was disrupted by them. They got me
really angry
Mirabel: U went that far? I thought U didn’t mind
and that made me feel like U didn’t like me…
Me: I’m really sorry about that baby, its in the
past dear… we’re a couple now and I won’t want
anybody, the past, or anything whatsoever to
come between us.
Mirabel: Thanks love
Me: And I meant every word I said
Mirabel: I know dear ‘coz I trust U,,, and I love U.
But, there are some things U need to know
Me: Forget about it dear, let’s face the future and
forget about the past. I know its about your exes
but it doesn’t matter now
Mirabel: Its not about that, its about us
Me: What about us?Mirabel: Don’t U think that,
we need to know about each other more? like our
families, where we came from, hobbies,,, U know
stuffs like that… aren’t U even curious about
knowing me??
Me: Of course I want to know U, I just wanted to
take it slow,,, step by step
Mirabel: Okay… so who are U Victor?
Me: Well,,, I’m the Son of James Patrick Abuh
from Edo state but my momma from Kogi. The
only male out of three children actually, I was
born and bread here in Abuja. My father is a
Chartered accountant, while my momma manages
her business store. That will do for now, U shall
know more about me as time goes by. So,,,, what
about U?
Mirabel: Well, using your format,,, I am the
daughter of Donald Collins Abioye and Margaret
both from Osun state the only fema….
Me: What’s all this about? Be serious na, I didn’t
joke when I told U about myself
Mirabel: **sad face** I’m not joking dear,,,, I’m
what U’re think
Me: What?! (Stood up)
Mirabel: Please dear we’re in the public don’t get
angry with me I never wanted to keep it from U
Me: But U never told me, U never mentioned it to
me!
Mirabel: Yes na ‘coz U never asked about me and
it never came up. Please dear many people
dunno about my identity, I brought this topic up
to let U know about me ‘coz I love U and U
deserve to know who I am
Me: Oh My God! Are U for real?!!

>> Part 25 -

AWKWARD MOMENT JOKE BY DINDY (PART 1)
That awkward moment, when your pastor tells you to look striaght into the eyes of the person sitting beside you and say "I love you with all my heart". But you imagine that when you turn the person seating beside you will be a beautiful girl with blue eyes.
Girl: I love you with all my heart.
Dindy: can we kiss?........lol.
But actually when you really turn the person seating beside you is a guy with a gay look.
Partner: I love you with all my heart (licking lips)
Dindy: I am a lawyer! And my dad is a Judge!......lol
#DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 2.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-02 23:10:00

274 Views




when one is face with a situation;he always feel it's the worse not knowing to them;that as time goes on the worse is yet to come but then;in any situation you find yourself;you will always pull through because God is always there;Isabella had find out Joab that is not her biological dad but how will she take it;if she find out that she is not even related to anyone of them;how will she cope;will she she ever find her biological parent;if she does;who will they be and will she and Zuriel become friends




Isabella: (to herself)mom;why do you have to cheat on dad?why is there so much pain when one find out the truth?i don't want to believe it;is not true;yes is not true(phone ringing)hello Zippor
Zuriel: is not Zippor;is Zuriel;the one from the show FAMILY;i got your number from Susan
Isabella: will you stop calling;stop it
Zuriel: are you crying?
Isabella: i said leave me alone(she end the call)
Zuriel: whoa;bad timing

JOAB: why are you all still up?
Lola: dad;Isabella is not yet back
Joab: and so;she must have probably ran back to that boy
Katherina: dad;i thought you love mom but you dont
Joab: i do and i have never loved any other woman
Katherina: if you really did?you wouldn't have hurt her daughter;even if she is not your daughter
Joab: will you keep quiet(enter Isabella) where are you coming from?
Isabella: no where dad
Joab: nowhere?is that so?(he hit her on the head)you are a prostitute;like mother like daughter
Isabella:dad please stop
Joab: tell me;you were paying that stupid boy a visit
Isabella: that is not true;i dont know him(he loose his belt and used it on her)
Lola: dad stop it
Joab: will you get out of here(he continued)
Isabella: dad;please i am begging you
Katherina: hurry up;get Zippor; before dad kill her
Lola: alright(at Zippor's room)Zippor
ZippoR: young woman;dont you know how to knock before entry into someone's room
Lola: sorry but dad is hurting.....
Zippor: Isabella(he ran to the sitting room)dad;stop it;do you want to kill her;come let's go(he held her hand)
Joab: are you stupid;cant you see i am disciplining her
Zippor: dad;if your parent had discipline you like this;i am sure you would had been a good person
Isabella: Zippor;that is dad you are talking to
Zippor: i know;he doesnt deserve to be called a father because father protect their children from predictor;they are not predictor themselves;come let's go(exit)
Joab: you see that Isabella will leave my house
Lola: dad
Joab: just shut up(curtain)
Melisa: welcome son;what did you want to eat?if you like we can go out and eat?i have prepared your room;i am sure you will like it; thank you very much for coming;come on try this is your favorite
Zuriel: thank you but i am not hungry i ate before coming;dad and his so called wife can still feed me
Mara: that is not why your mom prepared it;she did because it has been long she cooked for you
Zuriel: really
Melisa: yes son
Zuriel: but that is not my fault;you choose to let go of everything even the memory we share
Melisa: that is not true son,i love you unconditional because you are the reason i have someone to call me mother
Zuriel: tell me;why did you leave? and i want the truth
Melisa: is because of the love i have for you and your dad
Zuriel: is not true;you hurt dad when you left,he became grumpy;he doesn't spent time at home;he is always out;all thanks to you for making him that way
Melisa: i did it so that;there will be peace at home
Zuriel: did mother Alice;told you to leave(she shock)go on tell me
Melisa: no;she didnt(tears roll her eyes)just forgive me;give me a chance to still be a mother to you;i love you
Zuriel: excuse me(he walked away)
Melisa: do you think he will accept me?
Mara: yes;he loves you deeply;now i know
Melisa: if he does;why didn't he replied me;when i told him i love him
Mara: dont worry;with time he will say that back to you
Melisa: thank you(curtain)
Zippor: hey why are you quiet?
Lola: let her be
Zippor: i wouldnt;no story today
Isabella: no
Zippor: then i will be the one to tell you a story
Katherina: it wouldnt be interesting
Zippor: wait and listen;the story is about the princess and the king. the princess is sad because the king as turn into a monster
Isabella: will you stop;you are talking about me
Zippor: who said so?are you a princess?
Isabella: of cause;cant you see;that i look like one
Zippor: you look like one but not one(she hit him)hey that hurt
Lola: you deserve it(laughed all)
Zippor: you see now the princess is smiling because her guard made her laughed
Isabella: you are so mean
Zippor: i am not;anyway i am glad i made you laughed
Isabella: thank you very much for making the princess laughed but it is just too bad that the queen mother isn't here to pay you handsomely like your face
Zippor: so it is time for teasing right?
Isabella: of cause
Lola: you two are something else
Katherina: hey go clean up the house and stop been lazy around
Isabella: yes ma(she pegged her)i will go ahead
Zippor: me too(he held Lola's hand and went off)
Katherina: i just love this family;thank God that i am part of this family(curtain)
Dedo: hello sweetie;i went to your place but i was told you went to your mom's place
Zuriel: yes
Dedo: but why didn't you tell me?
Zuriel: i am sorry but i didnt know it was necessary
Dedo: it is not necessary?we are dating right?
Zuriel: dating?
Dedo: of cause;you asked me to be your girlfriend right?
dont tell me is one of those your plank;cause i will just kill myself
Zuriel: what?you are not serious right?
Dedo: i am dead serious
Zuriel: is alright;is not one of my plank
Dedo: alright;i love you bye(end the call)
Zuriel: oh my word;what have i gotten myself into;that shouldn't bother me for now(phone ringing)hello
Isabella: hi
Zuriel: what is it again?didnt you just call?
Isabella: sorry this is Isabella
Zuriel: what is it that you want from me?do i know you?
Isabella: i thought you wanted to talk to me;sorry;what a snob(she end the call)rubbish;who does he think he is?a son of a president;the owner of the sky;he is not even a prince or maybe he is a prince
Zuriel: oh my word;what have i done this time?(he dialed the number)hello


Isabella: can i help you
Zuriel: sorry;i was thinking it was someone else
Isabella: even if it was so;you are so rude;arrogant;insolent and mean
Zuriel: slow down young lady;i said i am sorry;sorry
Isabella: you are sorry;sorry for being rude;for been a snob;for acting weird ;sorry for what?

Zuriel: what is wrong with you?i said sorry;you are still insulting me;is that how you talk to people(enter Melisa) you are the rude one here not me rubbish(he end the call)imagine the nonsense
Isabella: Isabella;what is wrong with you?why are you pulling your frustration on others(she called again)take a deep breath;calm down and stop acting like a brat
Zuriel: are you calling me a brat?
Isabella: what?not at all;what is going on?you talking too much
Zuriel: what are you saying?
Isabella: calm down;you are not like that
Zuriel: are you okay(she end the call) whoa;what an interesting character(he called back)hello dear
Isabella: hello sorry;i am not usually like this
Zuriel: is okay i understand
Isabella: you understand what?
Zuriel: you might be going through some kind of stress
Isabella: me;i am not stress;i am too beautiful to be stress and princess don't stress
Zuriel: who told you;you are beautiful?
Isabella: my brother said i am beautiful
Zuriel: and he is the one also calling you princes?
Isabella: of cause
Zuriel: you are not
Isabella: is not my business of what you think about me because your opinion is not needed(he laughed)why?
Zuriel: you are funny
Isabella: why did you called?if you think you want to asked me to be your girlfriend;no way because i wouldn't date you;you are not my type because you are not even close to the one for me;my other side which will make me complete and when i find him;my heart will beat three times for him;it will even speak his name and both of us will live happily ever after;the princess and the prince(he laughed)
Zuriel: you are funny;i dont want to asked that from you;i already have a girlfriend;i just want you to be my friend
Isabella: oh! sorry just friends
Zuriel: yes;just friends
Isabella: oh my mouth;always running
Zuriel: what?what did you say?
Isabella: nothing;how old are you?
Zuriel: fourteen
Isabella: what fourteen?and you already have a girlfriend?do you mom knows about it;what about your dad?do they know?i wonder how old is the girl;i know she would be twelve;God if you are my brother i would had chop off your head even my seventeen years old brother doesn't have a girlfriend(he just kept laughing)hey;will you stop laughing ;you are way too young to start dating
Zuriel: slow down;you are funny
Isabella: i am not a comedian;so stop telling me;i am funny
Zuriel: alright;can we be friends
Isabella: no way;i thought you said;you want to asked about my well being?and you have found out that i am not dead;i am still alive;so dont call me again
Zuriel: if you say i shouldn't call you;then i will disturb your show
Isabella: alright;you can call;this boy want to put me in trouble
Zuriel: deed
Isabella: yes
Zuriel: alright;but don't busy my call
Isabella:and don't call me when i am with my dad
Zuriel: alright;bye
Isabella: bye
Melisa: son do you have a girlfriend






see more..
...


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, “Mom, what are those things on your chest?”

Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.
Johnny didn`t forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question.

His father, always quick with the answers, says, “Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she`ll float to heaven.”

Johnny thinks that`s neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Johnny`s dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, “Daddy! Daddy! Mommy`s dying!”

is father says, “Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy`s dying?” “Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommy`s balloons and she`s screaming `Oh God, I`m coming!”Related

I NEED A MAN [Read it]


Akpos was toasting a girl. This is the
conversation that ensued... AKPOS: What kind of man do you want? GIRL: I need a man about 6"5, God-
fearing, respectful, faithful, handsome,
intelligent, rich, brings me breakfast in
bed, takes me on annual vacations,
loves me for who I am and would never
cheat on me. AKPOS: Get clay and make him yourself.#BOLLY_SHOW ?? ? ? ?™



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-21 19:26:19

366 Views




Babli: Mama, Pappu beats me.

Jeeto: Oh dear! How often?

Babli: Every time we play Scrabble!Related

People who think they’re perfect are very annoying to those of us who really are.Related

DEATH ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!!
Chemistry and
His
Brother Physics with deep sorrow
announce the
death of their father Mathematics
who
died in a serious calculation on blackboard
road off
chalk avenue. Agriculture has promise to
provide land for
the burial and Fine art will decorat the coffin.
Enterpreneurship and his wife
Commerce
have
pledged to provide food and transport
for
the mourners. CRK will pray for the soul of
the late.
History and her friend Geography
will
narate the
life story of the late Mr Mathematics to
the
mourners. English will be the master of
ceremony and Biology will tell the mourners
the disease that killed the late.
May his
soul rest in an exercise.!!!.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-11 01:08:12

553 Views



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