Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


I nearly ran mad when the results came
out and I got “F” in Mr Ofoegbu’s course.
I stared at my reg number a second time
to be sure it was mine and that there was
no mix up.
Indeed it was mine. I ran to Mr Ofoegbu’s
office to confront him and find out why
he hadn’t kept to his own end of the
bargain only to discover that the door to
his office was locked.
I dialled his number, he didn’t pick. I
dialled again and again and again, no
response.
Then on the fifth attempt he picked. “Yes
who is this?” He asked with his peculiar
baritone voice. “Its me Linda. The student
that met you at lomalinda hotel,” I explained. “I don’t understand what
you’re talking about,” Mr Ofoegbu replied
throwing me off balance. “Who did you
say you met at lomalinda?” “Sir can’t you
remember me? Linda, the girl you spent
time with at lomalinda hotel. The one you
promised to give an “A” in your course.
Sir, they just pasted the results now and I
got “F.” Sir, please I wish to know what
happened.” “Please I don’t understand
what you’re talking about. Maybe this is a
wrong number,” he said hanging up the
call. I felt like tearing myself into two.
How on earth could Mr Ofoegbu do this
to me? Does it mean I’m going to carry
this course over? I was still deep in
thought when my phone began to ring.
“Hello,” I said on picking. “Hello, this is the
Chief Receptionist of Hilly Zander guest
house. We have a very important
personality lodging in our hotel this night
and he had gone through the pictures of
all the beautiful ladies in our database
and picked you as his favourite. Will you
be free for the job this night?” “Yes I will,”
I replied. “How much is he paying?”
“Umm, 450k,” the receptionist replied.
“Wow I’m gonna be free,” I said smiling to
myself. 450k was no child’s play and if not
for any other thing, atleast I was going to
use it to console myself over the
disappointment Mr Ofoegbu dished to
me...

>> Episode 7 -

Akpo must pass [Read it]


Akpors was preparing for a test one day after he
had
failed continuously through the past year and
gotten
flogged severally for his failure; however, he was
almost
sure his coconut head will not help matters.
In a bid to caution Akpors some more, his father
came
into his room while he was studying and said
“Akpors,
remember what I told you, if you fail this time
around,
you better forget me as your father because I will
disown
you; do you understand?”
Yes papa! Akpors replied.
The following day Akpors father came back from
work to
find Akpors watching tv in the sitting room and
the
following conversation took place;
Dad: Hello Akpors my son, how was your test
today? I’m
sure you passed considering the warning I gave
you.
Akpors: Excuse me sir, I’m sorry but who are
you?
Are you smart enough to guess Akpors’ grade
from his
answer


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-07 16:17:54

511 Views




why can't nigerians have sharp brains like the USAs?

a nigeria lady went to a spiritualist for charm upliftment that was placed upon her by a friend. the spiritualist demand for the egg of a virgin turtle.... she gave him money to procure the material for her. later the spiritualist confirms that the charm have been lifted.


I want to ask my fellow nairajokers to help and clarify me of how a virgin turtle can produce egg without mating with the male which is the normal law of reprod*tn.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-09 15:10:21

744 Views




She was speaking in Yoruba while I spoke in English; I couldn't speak much of Yoruba but understood what she spoke to me. She was just so free with me, she asked if I was Yoruba, I told her I wasn't. “No wonder you can’t reply me in Yoruba” she said in English. She was so fluent. We began chatting and I was asking her questions about her school.
She said she just finished her WAEC and JAMB examinations and will be expecting the result to be great and, she’s hoping to use the Waec result to gain admission into FCE Osiele. I asked her why not university. She said “University is for big people”, I laughed. I encouraged her, I told her when it’s time, she should buy the Jamb form and pick Funaab. Only if she would listen to me. We talked for about an hour that I began feeling guilty because she left the fish she was supposed to sell, and was talking with me. I really enjoyed the conversation. I told her to go that when she comes the next day, we will continue our discussion. Only if she go meet me for house. Because I had decided to sleep over at a friend’s place.
Two days later in the evening, i and other guys and my girl seyi were outside chatting and playing when fausat ran inside from the gate, we almost stood up from our seats to run inside, thinking it was danger, and something was chasing her. Not until I saw her smiling and laughing as she ran towards me and hugged me so tightly as if her life depended on it. Other guys were just standing and watching. Even seyi was kind of uncomfortable; who wouldn’t be, when a girl just went straight and hug your boyfriend right in your presence. She released me immediately, smiling, with joy on her face. I felt maybe she had won a lottery. “Aunty seyi good evening”, she greeted seyi. She also greeted other guys. Deji answered her with a mocking tone. The girl sef no send. She said she just went to check her result, and guess what, she had credit in all the courses she wrote. Everybody screamed in happiness. Fausat had managed to warm her way into our hearts in that compound. Even my girl seyi likes her. Everybody except but deji, likes her. Even though she sells fish, she comes around most times to chat with us. I really admired her “curiosity to learn.” She is not shy, she’s very beautiful that sometimes, other funaab students in other compound follow, toast her, but she refuses. Seyi started advising her to take away her mind from going to FCE Osiele. She should take Jamb and come to Funaab(Federal University Of Agriculture Abeokuta).
As time went on, Fausat became freer with almost everyone. She comes around and anytime seyi was free, she gives her some tutorial lessons.
This particular Saturday, other guys had earlier travelled on Friday. Seyi went to RCCG Redemption camp and, she would go to Lagos from there. I was the only one in the flat. Fausat came around at about 1:15pm. She asked after seyi, I told that seyi travelled. She knew that seyi and I are dating. She said she was having some difficulties with some Jamb past questions. Well I took her to my room. That was not the first time she was coming into the room, but that day’s entry was special. I taught her for an hour, I became tired of teaching. I jokingly told her she should take it to her boyfriend to teach her the rest. She laughed, she said she doesn’t have a boyfriend; as a matter of fact, she has not dated any guy or had sex since she was born. I was shocked when she said that. I wondered how such a pretty girl like her, because she’s so damn pretty with a good shape, men trembling at her feet, wanting to just have a piece of her. I asked her how old she was, she said she was 20. This is the first time I was asking her about some intimate and personal details about her life. She told me that many guys have been toasting her but she doesn’t like them. She said the guys are bad and rough, but she loves a gentle man, cool, calm like me. Immediately she said that, my heart did, “gbim gbim gbim.” In excitement, it was as if my bowels were rolling. Looking at Fausat, one may think she’s not sensible and smart, but gush, she’s intelligent and smart and, she knows what she’s doing. Since she started her tutorials in our house, she no longer speak Yoruba language much. She speaks more of English. “Don’t worry, I will marry you” I replied her. She laughed, “noooo, I don’t want aunty seyi to kill me ooo” she said; I smiled. She said that am a great guy and seyi was lucky having me as her boyfriend and, if not that I was with seyi, if I ask her out, she would gladly accept. I was surprised hearing that from her mouth. She indeed loves me. But I am not a woman player, am not into multiple women as such, I believe in one woman for a man. But the devil has a way of manipulating situations to his own favour. Something in me told me that that was my opportunity. If it were to be Deji or the other guys, dem no go dull at all, dey would jump into the offer. I started having some bad thoughts in me, my body temperature rose immediately, it looked like electric energy. That kind of energy will solve Nigerian’s electricity problems for one whole year. I thought about it again. Since me and seyi have never had sex since we started dating. She said she’s keeping herself till marriage and I love it and respect her for that. She really loves me so much and I do too. Looking at Fausat, body no be firewood and I must do it now or never, I thought to myself. She was sitting on my reading chair while I laid on my bed. I no wan dull myself. I noticed that women are fragile and changes their mind easily. If you notice that a woman loves you, press on immediately and go to her at that time, because if you go later, she might change her mind. I stood up, went straight to where she was sitting and began kissing her; behold she responded, she wanted it. Before we knew what was happening, we ended up on bed and the deed was done. It felt like heaven, I enjoyed it, she did too even though it was her first time. I took out the mattress to wash due to the blood stains.
After the act that day, I began falling in love with fausat. The love I had for seyi began to die. Fausat never seized. She always come back for more. Sometimes I do ask her to come when nobody was around when it comes to sex. In the presence of everyone in the house, we pretend as if nothing was going on, but in secret we do the do.
This act kept on going on that the attention I give to seyi reduced, I love seyi with all my heart, but there is something about fausat that is holding me bound, I can’t break loose; maybe it’s the sex, because I enjoy every moment with her. I find her more jovial and playful. I called couple of the guys in my house and told them I was screwing fausat but they shouldn’t tell anyone. Immediately I said that, everyone shouted, “heeeeyyyy.” They were surprised how manage I could do that. Because virtually all of them have toasted her, they made advances on her but she turned them down. They wanted to know how I pulled it that it worked. I told them she was the one that made advances at me and I responded. We all know guy talk nah, everyone laughed as I narrated. One of my housemate, james said that, probably she had already loved me from the unset; I guess so because she had always said I was a nice guy. “How about seyi,” dapo one of my housemates asked. “Seyi dey dia” I said as they laughed; “badooo, badoo of life” they all were hailing and shouting.
A week later after Jamb, fausat checked her result and she scored 231. She was so happy when she came to our house. I was the first person she hugged, seyi was there. I know what seyi may be thinking because fausat no longer move close to seyi as before. Each time she comes to the house, she virtually spends most of her time in my room. I was beginning to get bothered that seyi may discover that something is going on between us. I have warned her several times no to be visiting me as much, but she wouldn’t listen. She no longer calls seyi aunty seyi. She calls her by her name, “seyi.” Big girl things. She no dey add uncle for my name again sef as before. I and seyi were sitting on a long bench at the veranda when she came in and jumped on me. As she released me from the hug, she greeted seyi, she held my hand and dragged me into the house heading to my room. I turned my back and discovered that seyi stood and was looking at us as we walked to my room. She looked helpless, shocked like someone who is disappointed in me. She should be because I became the fool for not standing by her. I ignored her while fausat took my hand as we left to my room. I couldn’t help it as the love I have for her was dieing down. It looked as if fausat was now running the show. As we went into the room, we smooched, kissed before she left. It was becoming so glaring to everyone that we were dating. The joy I had each time she comes around; anytime she sees me, she’s so happy.
After fausat left, seyi came to my room, she blasted me with words that other students started coming out of their rooms to know what was going happening. She was deeply embarrassed by what I did. She even accused me of sleeping with fausat. I denied it, she threatened to stop fausat from coming to the house; but would that be possible! I begged for day, even bought her gifts just to appease her. It took 2 weeks for her to forgive me. But that didn’t stop me from continuing my play with fausat. Fausat’s presence was like a virus that infects the mind. Each time am with her, I feel weak and I felt I was beginning to go crazy in love with her, only that I was still managing to stay with seyi out of pity.
As days went by, the distance between i and seyi was becoming wider. My body was with her but my heart was far away from her, she noticed it. She could feel it but she couldn’t stop it. She was helpless. We quarrel sometimes about Fausat. I always deny each time she accuses me of sleeping with her. Fausat finally passed her post UTME. Funaab gave her Business administration which was her chosen course. Though I was kind of worried how she would pay her acceptance fee and other levies, her mom was just a fish seller. That was what they do to feed themselves but, would it be enough for them to raise the cash for all the payments she would make in Funaab! She had earlier told me that her mother gave birth to only her at her teenage age. The man who impregnated her mom was in London. He left for London when she was 5. Since then, they had not set their eyes on him. He didn’t even marry her, (fausat’s mother). According to fausat, she said they (the man and them) do talk on phone and, he was even married to another woman in London. Fausat said he had been promising to come and see her and her mother since over 5 years, but he had never come. He will promise to send money for their up keep but won’t send. With all these, I wondered how she will pay her school fees and other dues, though I promised to help out in the little way I can.
Second semester ended and we went for 3 months break. I made sure I was communicating with seyi to see if that love I had for her when we first started will come back, but it never did. Rather it was dwindling down. Each time I want to think of her, I find myself thinking about fausat, the good moments and sex we had. Sex is indeed powerful. Even as we were far apart physically, I still think of her. We were communicating more often by calls and whatsapp. She gave me a very good news I was happy about. She told me that her runaway father was back in the country, and infact he had rented a 2 bedroom flat for she and her mom in Oke-ilewo and is planning to open up a business for her mom. Though he doesn’t have plans to rekindle the love relationship with her mom but he just wanted the mother of his daughter and the daughter to be fine. Fausat also said he got her a new Iphone 5 and so many things. I was very happy for her. She told me she had a gift for me but she won’t tell me what it was till I was back in Abeokuta. She told me the gift was huge and big. I became anxious of coming back but It was only remaining one month before school resumes. She said her dad was spoiling her and her mother silly with money. He gave her N200,000 for her accommodation and she doesn’t plan to go to hostel. I told her to save some money aside so incase her dad goes back to London and never returns. She said he(father) will return to london but will be sending money on a monthly basis for her upkeep till she graduates, and she will go over to join him in London. I asked her why she doesn’t want to go for the school hostel. She said she had seen a good apartment at the back of sonikarz hostel in gate, and is about N100k and she would love me to move in with her. That was why she doesn’t want to stay in the hostel. I told her I can’t move in with her; and seriously I don’t consider the idea good. She got angry with me and ended the chat immediately. I later called her on phone and told her we would sort it out when I come back. She said she would love me to come back early enough to school immediately school resumes, so I could help arrange some few stuffs in her soon to be new house. I agreed. She sent me N1,500 recharge card. Throughout that period, she was just spoiling me with recharge cards. I no even lack recharge cards sef, she go just dey send am give me.
Two weeks to resumption date, fausat began to call me, she said I should come back, she was terribly missing me and she wants me back so I could help in packing her belongings to the new house. Me, it has always been a norm for me to come back 2 weeks after resumption. I don’t know how fausat will take it if I tell her that i still have till 4 more weeks to come back. Me too don dey miss the girl sef, I chat with seyi often, even seyi told me that she will be coming back 3 days to resumption. I don’t want her(seyi) to notice or see me helping fausat to pack her things. That alone made me change my mind, and I came back a week later in the warm and loving hands of fausat. Even though I wasn't having much feelings for seyi, I still pretend to love her.
The day I came back, barely 2 hours I came back to Abeokuta, fausat came to see me.

Happy New Month [Read it]


U think say to see September 2014 ending na moimoi??

Boko Haram reach ur side?

U know how many wey don die ?since Jan till now?
Oga Ansa ?me now

Abi ur family ?get ebola????

God give you legs, and you still dey waka ?as you like.

God give u good health. ?and you still dey complain.

9ja no good, 9ja no good: U dey use bb, tecno phantom, nokia200, ipad & laptop, efen wen u neva get money? to buy car?.

Abi u don see ?where person wey dey coma for sick bed ?dey ping or whatsapps?

Abi na blind man ?wan change DP or comment for facebook?
U still dey complain? there?

Abi u don see where dead body dey do facebook & whatsapps 4 inside coffin?

My friend?, u beta start thanking God now... ?
If u read this message and U no like or comment am that means you no dey appreciate God..?

Oya, drop your comments!!!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-02 09:06:40

884 Views




Santa: What is first aid?

Banta: It’s when you get AIDS for the first time!Related

STURBON PIKIN [Read it]


in a certain hospital,a child was born.immediately d child was born,instead of d child 2 dey cry,d child was just laughing like a mad man,nd 1 funny tin z dat na d mama him dey look dey laugh,d doctors nd nurses don beatam tire make him cry bt him no gree cry.den, fortunately, d doc. Realize dat d child has somtin in btw his palms,den d doc. force d palms open nd saw abortion pills in his hands,dey wia al surprise.den d guy man look him mama 4 eye nd say;''NO WEAPON FASHIONED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER''**abeg wetin we go do dis kain pikin**


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-18 18:13:06

633 Views



Guilty or Not [Read it]


Akpos was arrested by the police nd taken to court.
Magistrate: Akpos, u were arrested on the expressway for abruptly stopping your car in the middle of the road and causing 10 other vehicles behind you to run into one another thereby causing damages and injuries. Are you guilty or not?
Akpos: I`m not guilty sir.
Magistrate: What is ur defense.
Akpos: I heard the national anthem on the car radio and as a good citizen, I stopped immediately and stood at attention.
Who is to be blamed?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-18 19:49:15

628 Views



karate champ [Read it]


John as you know, is a not too smart kind of guy. Everyday when he walked home from work, he would get stopped by three nasty men and they would beat him up and steal his money.

Finally, John decided that it would serve his best interest to walk a different route and then take up some self-defence classes so this wouldn't happen again.

He joined a karate class and soon was doing very well to defend himself. So, one day, on the way home from work John took his old route home and sure enough there they were. He walked up to them and the battle ensued.

The next afternoon John went to his karate class with a black eye, a broken nose and a busted lip. His instructor, shocked, asked him what happened.

"Well," explained John, "I took my old way home last night so I could beat these guys up who were stealing my money, but they beat me up before I could get my shoes and socks off!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-10 11:25:54

396 Views




Imabong narrates

I was getting worried. It’s been hours since they left but I was yet to hear from them neither was their phone numbers going through. I had to do something to stop me from getting unnecessarily worried because I know God can’t go back on his promises to me. I decided to start singing songs of victory just as Jehosaphat in the Bible.


Why do you can’t you just pray?
Why worry?
Why do can’t keep?
Trusting in Jesus?
Why worry, worry?
Don’t be a doubting Thomas
Just lean upon His Promise
Don’t worry, worry, worry.
People dey ask me say,
mama Ele wetin dey make you laugh?
I just dey tell them say
No be me o
Na Jesus dey make me laugh
Naso go dey laugh,
I go dey laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh
I just dey tell dem say
No be me o
Na Jesus dey make me laugh


Yes! I was singing, rejoicing and praising God just like Jehosaphat when he was marching against the Assyrians, like Paul and Silas did in Prison, like David dance when bringing the arch of God back to his abode.


When the Spirit of the Lord is upon my soul
I will dance as David dance
When the Spirit of the Lord is upon my soul
I will dance as David dance
Dance unto the Lord
I will dance
I will dance
I will dance as David danceeee..


Medinat narrates

I was not comfortable at all seeing the way they left without plans or a clear destination. Which mother will be comfortable knowing her only child and hubby are in the middle of nowhere in a forest fighting men of the underworld. That’s why I came to see Alpha Sulu for directions and prayers of protection.

“Sallam Wallekun”, Alpha Sulu greeted.

“Peace be unto you to”, I replied.

“How is your husband and daughter?”, Alpha Sulu asked.

“That’s why I came to see you Alpha Sulu”, I answered as my face turned sour.

“Please tell me what is wrong my daughter?, Alpha Sulu asked with a concerned look.

I explained everything that happened to Alpha Sulu as he listened keenly from the beginning to the end before taking a big sigh after I had finished my tale. He asked to pray with me wish we did, then asked me to come tomorrow. He advised me to keep praying and put my mind at peace because everything will be alright.
I thanked him and left feeling much more relieved and jaunty than I was feeling earlier. Truly speaking, if God is with our families, what can mere mortal men do to our families?

Ele narrates

I opened my eyes slowly to find myself in unfamiliar surroundings. I looked around and found my supposed a-s savers preparing food in a fire wood. From what I can deduce, I was in a cave and my suppose a-s savers are old occupants of the cave.

“Who are you guys?”, I asked forming James Bond without getting a reply as they gave me a blank look.

“I said who are you?”, I screamed feeling my strength getting back slowly.

“Hey kiddo! That’s no way to thank you’re a.ss savers”, said the fairy goddess who I remembered was called delove or belove, oh it should be beloved.

“I’m sorry beloved, it wasn’t my intension, I’ve just been through so much during the last 24 hours and it’s really telling on me”, I explained to beloved apologetically as the handsome dude Gabriel was laughing is boxers off.

“It’s Delight not beloved kiddo”, the fairy lady cautioned as I nodded in agreement making me realize why Mr. Handsome was laughing.

“Alright beloved, sorry, Delight, where am I and how do we get out of this god-forsaken place?”, I asked in a frustrated manner.

“Aissh! What an annoying kid! This place is like the bottomless pit, no escape route because the men from the Den of Congo are everywhere in this forest, calling for help is impossible because they have people in places of high status, in fact the society elites and security agencies are the ones sponsoring this deviants, so your question should be how long you going to last in this hell on earth”, Delight explained.

Having listened to Delight revelation, every atom of hope I had about escaping was killed. They offered me roasted bush meat which I ate hungrily to my satisfaction. I was relieved at last and thought about Queency and Aarti were doing. All I could do was pray to God to see them through and bring us back together in good health so ill parents’ struggles won’t be in vain. For close to two hours I didn’t say a word as I was deep in thoughts about my life so far, how I had been so lucky hitherto. I have heard about stories of ritual killers but never taken them serious until now. You won’t know how lucky you are until you get into a bad situation, that’s when you realize what God has been doing for you. I remembered something that happened during my childhood and laughed.

“Do any of you guys remember any embarrassing moment from your childhood”, I asked finally breaking the silence between us after roughly two hours.

“Hehe! Story of our lives.. So many!, why not tell us yours first”. Mr. Handsome finally replied smiling awkwardly.

“Do you guys promise to tell me yours after I tell you mine?”, I asked enthusiastically.

“We promise!” they both replied in unison.

“When I was much younger around four or five years, my parent use to advise me against collecting things from strangers because they are most of them are witches who use gifts to entice children in the process turning their victims to finger, yam and other sought of things with the aim of using their young victims for ritual purposes. I held on to this belief for long not because I wanted to obey my mum but because I didn’t want to turn to finger or yam that others will eat but it didn’t last long.”, I began.

“I had my first crush in Nursery 3, though I didn’t know want a crush was then but I know I liked being around her because she made me feel different then. Her name was Ada. She was the hottest girl in class then and the only guy who talked to her was Sonshine the oldest guy in our class then who had repeated four times. I couldn’t talk to Ada because I was shy and afraid Sonshine who bullies everyone in class will never let me rest.”, I paused to cough then continued.

“Things took a new turn one day when Ada asked me during one of our long break to share are jollof rice with her. I was overwhelmed by the kindness of my crush that I forgot my mum’s warning and Sonshine the bully’s threat. I ate the rice with her while we chatted all along. Ada so much enjoyed my company that later came to my house that evening of the same day since our house was close to each other something we both were earlier unaware of. She gave her parents the excuse of wanting to do an assignment in her friend’s house. We played all evening including acting the mummy and daddy play. She left happily late in the evening and promised to return the next day.” I narrated.

“The week passed by and Saturday came. My mum came to me after returning from Oojo market that morning and asked why I collected food from a stranger despite all her warnings. I denied vehemently until she told me one of my classmate reported to her that I collected food from one Ada. I couldn’t deny anymore as I know I had gotten myself in trouble. My mum told me to choose between her punishments of reporting to me dad. I chose my mum’s punishment without knowing what I had gotten myself into. My mum took me outside our gate and got me unclad exposing my totoro. She tied my legs and hands to the gate. She brought black pepper which she put in my eyes and assholee, she then brought out the wire used for charging our rechargeable lamp to start beating me repeatedly asking me “you go do longer truth again?” while I was to keep replying “I no go do longer truth again”. I was embarrassed not just because my fellow mates saw me and were laughing but also because my crush Ada was there looking at my totoro and me crying was so shameful and embarrassing, I also saw Sonshine from afar giving a wicked laugh and then and there it occurred to me then he was the only one who could have reported to my mum, since then I vowed never to take things from strangers and I’ve lived up to my word which has affected me seriously when it comes to trust issues. So that’s the story of my most embarrassing moment”, I concluded.

“Hmm!”, Mr. Handsome and Beloved who had been listening with rapt attention sighed. I saw their eyes were wet and didn’t realize they had been laughing all along because I was so engrossed in narrating my experience.

“Let’s get going!”, Mr. Handsome ordered.

“Your stories? You promised!”, I complained.

“We are sorry kiddo, we will tell you when we get out of this forest”, Delight replied.

“But you said..”, I was cut short.

“Yes, we did! No condition is permanent”, Gabriel replied before I could complete my statement.

“So shall we..?”, Delight asked giving a coy smile.
“Why not?”, I got up and we all headed out.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Nigerian Police [Read it]


A girl was driving at 120mph in a 75mph zone and was stopped by a police officer...
POLICE: Can I see your drivers license?
GIRL: What does it look like?
POLICE: It's rectangular and has your picture on it.
The girl searches her purse and brings out her hand mirror and looks at it... she handed it to the police officer.
The police officer looks at it and said, "Well, you are free to go, I didn't know you were a police officer too!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-18 07:27:46

1209 Views




Guy. . .
1) when girls refuse to Hug
you, only hand shake- that
means your face is too
scary
2) when you upload your
best pics on facebook and
nobody comments on it
after 1 year- that means you
need to do plastic surgery
on your face.
3) when girls only demand
money from you, for
recharge card and other
goodies and when you try
to touch them they will
shout on you - that means
you are too ugly
4) when you are having an
argument with a girl, and
all of a sudden she says you
are ugly- then you are truly
ugly, you don't need a
pastor to tell you that.
5) when girls always argue
with you everytime - then
you are ugly.
6) when no girl has ever
sent a recharge card to you-
then you are uglier
than osho baba
7) when you look at the
mirror every 5 minutes -
then your nick name is
UGLy
8 ) when your pastor is
about to preach and he
sees your face and he
automatically changed the
topic to "God created man
in his own image" - then
just accept the fact that the
devil is finer than you.
9) when your mother says
"my son try to put small
powder on your face and
try to smile small" - then you
are truly ugly
10) when you read this
post, and you start beefing
me for no reason and you
refuse to like this post -
then my man you are more
than ugly, you need to go
for deliverance and only an
herbalist can cure your
madness.,
11) the worse of all is that no guy is ugly
True or False....


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-10 16:23:41

324 Views




I vividly recall the story of a man who became
popular for engaging in money rituals just to buy
the 80's edition of the Honda Prelude; you can buy
that car for 50k today.....Vanity
A guy brutally murdered his brother, just because
he wanted to acquire the rave of the moment - Pathfinder Jeep. That same vehicle is now better
described as a coffin.... Vanity
I remember as a kid, my whole street gathered at a
neighbour's house to watch a"drama" shown on a
"double-door black & white television". Today
there is plasma television and its almost found in every student's room..... Vanity
Some ladies left their true loves because some rich
guy then persuaded them with a Benz 190, which
turned out to be the only car they ever owned till
date. They found out too late that true love is
invaluable..... Vanity What about Santana, Mercedes Benz V boot, 505
Evolution, Toyota Crown?... All overtaken by latest
models of Camry, Honda, Bugatti, Bentley, X6, Acura
and Infinity.... Vanity!
A guy declared drinks because he launched the
Nokia-3310 phone in 2002. Today that phone would embarrass the owner and is a joke
compared to the low cost and everyday phones.....
Vanity
What about the Celtel SIM card that many people
went extra miles before they bought for over
N15,000 today you will not buy it for even more than N200 because all d networks are begging
people to even take it for free.... Vanity
People are still making the most horrific sacrifices
over 'vanity' and make enemies over worthless
material things. What can I say? Look back at that
one thing you want to kill or die for today, and see what becomes of it tomorrow. There is absolutely
nothing you can't achieve. ... Take it easy!
Most of the then lucrative job before are those the
one that are roaming about the street now looking
for any job to do
All you need is a little time and PATIENCE and you would thank God without regrets. There is actually
nothing in this world that is worth going to Hell or
die for, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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JOKE PART 66 BY DINDY

Girl: Dindy you're too rude.

Dindy: Thanks.

Girl: Your jokes are very lame and not funny.

Dindy: You are welcome.

Girl: I can never laugh at your jokes.

Dindy: -_- that's too bad.

Girl: Why did you say that?.

Dindy: Well that means the plastic surgery you did is melting......

DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 67.









NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-12-12 18:13:35

181 Views




THE DEADLY MARK
(Love hunters)
Season 1
Episode 6
l
Everybody's attention was drawn to the door that cracked opened waiting silently to know the cause. Daniel sluggishly entered bleeding from the nose. Grace and Lawson rushed him immediately. Cassandra's heart began to beat faster seeing him in such mood. She wanted to rush him too but the presence of Grace prevented her. Then she stood behind watching others interrogat Daniel.
"Where have you been, Daniel?" Lawson asked but didn't get a response. "We have been trying to reach you through a phone call but wasn't going through"
"Baby please talk to us" Grace added holding him tightly.
"I have been at home" Daniel replied in a low voice.
"But i activated your alarm door severally without getting a response"
"I don't just know what happened, i lost conscious. But I'm fine" He managed to disengage himself from Grace and stepped forward.
The room was only visible to the area where they were and every other corner was covered with darkness. Daniel brought out a paper given to him by the post-man which contain the mark and Cassandra opened her eyes widely.
"What's that? I mean where did you get that?" she asked.
"A post-man delivered it to me this morning and disappeared. Since then i have not been myself.." Lawson and Kelly drew closer. He slowly collecting the paper trying to read the mark in silence.
"..and this mark is the same mark i have on my neck without me knowing how it came about"
"Are you saying you don't know how you got this?" Thessy asked touching his neck.
"Yes, and i have been in pains"
"What could this mark represent?" Lawson asked rhetorically still looking at the mark.
"It is a deadly mark!" Cassandra shouted from a distance where she stood alone which made everybody fixed their eyes on her in silence. "It is a deadly mark from Love hunters" she added.
"And who are these love hunters?" Lawson asked and stepped forward.
"Yes, and how did you know about it?" Grace supported.
Everywhere became quiet waiting for Cassandra to explain herself. Meanwhile, Thessy's legs were beginning to shake hearing the word 'deadly'. Then she slowly walked to Kelly who noticed her fear and held her hand tightly.
Cassandra walked slowly to Denial as everybody stared at her in silence. Even the sound of her shoes echoed the whole room. She stood in front of Daniel looking at his lovely eyes. "May i?" she asked raising her hand up. Grace, seeing that she wanted to touch Daniel's neck shouted, "Get your hands off him, bitch!" she angrily moved forward to attack her but Ruth rebuked her and Thessy grabbing her hand which slowed her down. Cassandra touched the mark on Daniel's neck and felt her eyes closed. She could see dead people laying on the ground and she could hear cry of people lamenting and suffering in a lonely dark bush. Suddenly, she saw Daniel laying helplessly on the ground with blood all over his body. "No!!" she exclaimed and opened her eyes stepping backward.
"We are waiting, Cassandra. How did you know about this mark?" Lawson asked in the silence. Cassandra began to shed tears. She brought out the drawing of the mark she made and everybody stared at it in surprise.
"I saw this same mark in my dream and mum said is a deadly mark from the people she called love hunters"
Lawson flung the paper from her forcefully looking confused.
"Does it mean that I'm gonna die?!" Daniel asked looking at everybody who remained quiet.
"I think Cassandra's mother has some explanation to do now!" Kelly said angrily and grabbed Cassandra's hand forcefully.
"Get your hands off me!"
"Yes, don't touch her gain!" Ruth supported.
"What do you mean? Don't you think her mother has to do some explanation?!" Kelly faced her.
"No, but you must not force or drag her again!"
"Shut up both of you!" Lawson shouted at them which calmed everywhere down and silence took over again. He was known to be the greatest of them all and they must abide by his rules. He looked at Cassandra.
"Why did you shout 'no' after CONTINUE READING ???

Q: What did the blonde’s mom say to her before the blonde’s date?

A: If you’re not in bed by 12, come home.Related

Teacher:how are you students
Students:fyn,thank you ma.
Teacher:Ade how are u doing?
Ade:fyn ma
Teacher:How many of you want to go to heaven?
'me!!!!!!! 'all the students shouted except for Ade.
Teacher:Ade why don't you want to go to heaven?
Ade:My dad ask me to come bk early from church...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-03-20 08:55:15

398 Views




Friend : Yaar yeh season change ka effect technology pe bhi ho gya hai.

Me: Huh! kaise?

Friend : Yaar wo kal bol rahe the ki ek video viral ho gaya hai

Me : :/Related

flat tires [Read it]


A man left his home to his office leaving his zipper down and his dick, was showing. At the office the secretary told him sir you forgot to close your garage door. The man was confused and know not what to say. When he went to pee,he found his zipper open,and he went to the secetary and asked,when my garrage door was open did you see my hummer packed in. The secetary laugh and told the man that she saw a beatle and two flat tires.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-08 18:33:41

890 Views



Joke by Dindy [Read it]


JOKE BY DINDY
Boy:please can I see your pix?
Girl:kk
.
.
Picture sent??
.
.
Picture received??
.
.
Boy:wow you look beautiful....you look so 24....how old are you?
Girl:I am 18
Boy:huh?.....i said your age not your junior sister's age.........lol
#DINDY WROTE THIS=> facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-08-30 21:20:43

414 Views




John was late to school...

TEACHER: John why are you late?

JOHN: I went to buy something for my mom.

TEACHER: What could be so important that can't wait till the end of school

JOHN: Balloons sir! Mummy said you will be coming early today and you always forget to bring a balloon with you.

TEACHER: Ok... that was very important.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-09 09:33:58

872 Views




Oke: find somewhere to put this one (handling over the sack to Aderonke)
Aderonke: thank you for your kind gesture (she peeps into the sack)
Oke: if you need anything do not hesitate to ask me.
He give her ten naira which was the highest currency back then, but she quickly rejected it, he droped the money on the chair and left.
On his way to school the following morning Oke stoped at Aderonke's house.
Oke: hello!
Aderonke: who is there? you can come in. ( Oke enter)
Oke: how are you?
Aderonke: I'm fine sir, thank you very much for yesterday sir.
Oke: this your sir sir sir is becoming too much, just call me Oke. How do you wish to spend your day.
Aderonke: I am about to leave for work before you come.
Oke: which work is that?
Aderonke: I work as a lobourer for bricklayers.
Oke: please can you do me a favour.
Aderonke: I will surely do it for you,
if it is my power.
WHAT IS HE GOING TO ASK?

>> Episode 7 -

PICK UP (Futa nd others Students' Version)
Baba God o
Awa na felo strike o
OAU olori meji
Na beg I dey beg o
Olorun awa
Awa na need strike o
Unilag olori meji
Na beg I dey beg o
Oya strike-kikiki
Oya strike-kikiki
Na beg I dey beg o
I beg o
I don go class tire
Even Saturdays are included
We dey never resti o
Oluwa da Wa lohun o
A won egbe Wa n'lole
Wan chiilli n'school o
Awa naa fe lo sun
Oluwa da Wa lohun o
Mama je k'anybody beere wipe ni'bo l'olorun
awa Wa o
No put us to shame o, Ejowo baba answer our
call o
Mama je k'anybody ri t'awa wi kan ma ri tawa
so oo
We look up to you o,
Answer our call o
Baba God o
Awa na felo strike o
UI olori meji
Na beg I dey beg o
Olorun awa
Awa na need strike o
Unilag olori meji
Na beg I dey beg o
Oya strike-kikiki
Oya strike-kikiki
Na beg I dey beg o # www.facebook.com/9jastudentforum #B-goF #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-14 11:46:35

456 Views




I MISS YOU MUM EPISODE 9 (STORY BY DINDY)

Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story...

Most people don't know my story and that of my family, all they see is me and my smiling face. We are one family, but one is missing.
The most important person that makes our home complete was missing. Everything that made my house to be a home was missing.
What is life when you don't have a mum?, what is life when your life feels like dirt. What is a home without a mum?, what is family without a mum? what is a happy family without the smile of a mother.
What is a family photo without a mother?, where is the joy of a home when there is no mother. What is the soul aim of a full home, when there is no mother.
After I lost my mum, my life was hard and I was unhappy. I blamed God for making me loose her.
My mum was the only person that ever believed in me and I trusted her so much. She always advised and supported me in everything I did.
My mum was the only love of my life.
Now death has taken her far away [crying], even the church was seriously injured by my mum's death. Some People left the church and rumors spread everywhere.
People said all sort of things against my mum (some said nice things). It was also very hard for my dad, he was always trying to look strong, but I knew he was dying inside him.
There was a day, I went to his room to ask him something. I was about to knock on his door, when I heard "CHIDINMA".
--My mum's name is chidinma, a beautiful name right?, I'm truly sorry for not telling you guys a long time ago--.
"Why did you leave me so soon", he said with a crying voice.
When i heard his crying voice, I paused and cried a little, then I stoped crying and cleaned tears off my eyes.
I tried to look as normal as possible, then i knocked on his door.
"Yes, who is it?", he asked.
"It's me dad", I replied.
"Come in, the door is open", he replied back.
When I opened the door, I saw him cleaning tears off his eyes.
"Neil what do you want?" he asked --After my mum dead, my dad started calling me Neil, but sometimes he calls me Junior--.
"Daddy I came to ask you for your shoe polish", I said standing very close to him.
"Okay let me check my closest", he said.
My eyes went to the direction where he sat and I saw my mum's pix, right under his pillow. I was about to take it, when he came back from the trip to his closest.
"Neil here is the polish", he said.
I took it and went to my room.
On getting to my room, I remembered my mum once again and the love she showed me. I stood beside my room door and my fantasy began
"If only I can have one chance to see her, to hold her, to hug her and to tell her all the things I want to. I wish I could hear 'I love you Neil' from her once more".
"If only I could just meet her, where she is now. If only I could just see her in my front, if only I could just play with her".
I stood there over 30mins without knowing. When I got myself, i went inside my room and straight to my bed to lay down......
.......THREE HOURS LATER.........
"Neil neil neil neil", called a voice.
"Who could be calling me by this time of the night?", I asked myself.
I stood up and went out to see who was calling me. when I got out, I saw no one.
I was about to go back inside, when I saw my mum wearing pure white.
"Neil it's me", she said.
I was astonish when I saw her.
"Good Bye Neil", she said.
"No mum don't go", I said.
She started disappearing bit by bit, i tried touching her, but I only succeeded touching cold air.
"Mum where are you!, mum Please come to me!, mum please stay!, mum please come back to me! [crying]. Mum I miss you!, God why did you have to take away the only person that ever loved me! [Crying]. Mummy mummy mummy", I said with tears and pain in my heart........
Suddenly, I woke up shouting "Mummy". I looked around, but I didn't see her. I placed my left hand on my forehead, while different thoughts ran through my mind.
"How can I live like this? Is there a way to bring my mum back to life. What if my mum is still alive? is my mum really leaving me for good? Is she really dead?", I thought to myself.
I finally came back to my senses, that my mum has left me forever. I fell backwards on my bed with tears in my eyes......... To be continue....
"When warmness fills my heart".
STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected] Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi.








NAIRAJOKES.COM




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An Edo man invited his
friends Hausa, Yoruba and
Igbo mens for his mother's
burial!
After lowering the coffin,
the family put yam,
rice,meat etc, into the
grave in line with tradition.
An hausa man asked why?
The Edo man smiled and
said, according to our
tradition, the dead go on
long journey and need all
the food items they can
get. Then, the Hausa man
dropped #100,000 inside
and said, "when the food
finish, buy more".
The Yoruba man also
dropped #50,000 and said,
"add this incase it's not
enough".
Then Igbo man smiled and
brought out his cheque
book and wrote a cheque
of #200,000 dropped it in
the coffin with tears and
took the #150,000 notes
as a change, then said,
"Nwanne, withdraw when
you reach dia o......it is
going to be a dangerous
journey we don't know how
many robbers are out
there and after all we in a
cashless economy na!
Travel well ooo!!!
Who do you think is
smarter?.#B-goF



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-09 07:06:57

917 Views




New Year’s is the time for life changing decisions that bring about a
complete overhaul in your life. A time for resolutions and trying to
take charge of things and bring about changes that you always desired
requires inspiration and that’s where our Inspirational New Year SMS
Messages come in.
Say goodbye to year 2014 and welcome a brand new
year 2015, send happy new year SMS / text messages , new year greetings
& quotes to your friends, family and loved ones. Here is a list of
New Year SMS & Poems To Sends To Your loved ones

01.Genuine success comes only to those who are ready for it.
So never step back and always have courage to accept new challenges.
Wishing you a very happy new year 2015.
02.Let’s have party because
it’s New Year time. Celebrate Happy New Year 2015 with me all the night,
so that we can end the year together and start the new year together.
03.May you get succeed in the year 2015 and achieve all your goals you have set.

04.New Year is the time to remember all the memories we share, all the
fun things we did, all the secrets we poured out for distance is the
last thing that can create a rift in our friendship.
05.May this New Year give you the courage to triumph over your vices and embrace the virtues.

06.This year lets make a promise to follow the resolutions you make
more strictly and achieve what you truly desire in your life..
07.Wish You a Great, Prosperous, Blissful, Healthy, Bright, Delightful, Energetic and Extremely Happy, HAPPY NEW YEAR 2015.


08.Lets gather around and celebrate the dawn of sparkling New Year. May
it bring gifts of joys, good health and surprises. Best wishes.

09.May 2015 greet you with days as fragrant as roses, as colorful as
rainbow, as bright as sunshine and as happy and cheerful as a lark.

10.May the year 2015 be like a blank book that is waiting your
intervention to fill up its 365 pages with all the colours under the sun
making it a vibrant addition to your life.
11.May the year 2015
give you the opportunity to realise your dreams, rediscover your
strengths, muster your willpower and rejoice the simple pleasures that
life would bring your way.
12.This new year message has nothing much
to say but to request your lips to stretch a little and brighten this
world with a sweet smile.
13.May the New Year give you the strength
to face the challenges of life and courage to adjust the sail so as to
take every situation to your stride.
14.When the New Year arrives,
it brings new ideas and hopes for us to make our lives good to better
and better to best. Happy New Year !
15.The New Year gives you fresh
365 days to play with – fill them up with whatever your heart desires
so that you have no regrets at the end of the annual cycle.
16.My
goal for 2015 is to accomplish the goals of 2014 which I should have
done in 2013 because I made a promise in 2012 and planned in 2011.

17.Never regret the follies of the past as you reminisce about the year
gone by. As you welcome the brand New Year you should instead learn from
those follies and treat them like another feather to your cap of
experience
Lighten up your surroundings with your sweet smile,And
make way for happiness with your good deeds this New Year,Happy New
Year!”
18.I wish that not a single tear trickles down your cheek
this New Year,May you be blessed with joy and happiness all the year
round.
19.In this New Year, I wish you achieve all your goals in life,And get success at every step of life, enjoy a rocking year.

20.Memorable moment r celebrated together,U r my best friend for now
& forever,Make me Miss U even more this New Year,Hope this year
bring Happiness for you Dear
21.What the future holds for us,depends on what we hold for the,
future. May all your days be,beautiful and bright.. Keep your,
face to the sunshine Let a series,beautiful and bright.. Keep your,of happy thoughts run through,
your mind. They will show on your face,HAPPY NEW YEAR.”

22.”HAPPY NEW YEAR,
H ours of happy times with friends and family,
A abundant time for relaxation,
P prosperity,
P plenty of love when you need it the most,
Y youthful excitement at life simple pleasures,
N nights of restful slumber (you know – don’t’ worry be happy),
E everything you need,
W wishing you love and light,
Y ears and years of good health,
E enjoyment and mirth,
A angels to watch over you,
R remembrances of a happy years!.”

23.”A mother had a slender, small,
body, but a large heart – a heart so,
large that everybody’s grief and,
everybody’s joy found welcome in
HAPPY NEW YEAR”.

25.”When you proclaim your new year Resolution,
I will be wishing you a New Year that makes,
Your Resolutions true and bring happiness to,
You Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,
“Happy new year”

25.New Year is not about changing the Dates but Direction;,
It’s not about changing the Calendar but Commitment;
It’s not about changing the Actions but Attitude;
It’s not about changing the Fruit but Faith, Force and Focus!
May you Commit and Create the best New Year ever!




26.May light always be around you, hope always surround you. May your
wounds fade out; heart embrace kindness, love and wisdom. May smile
never leave your lips and a healthy glow stay on your cheeks. May all
your desires turn true; This is my New Year Wish for you.

27.For
a happy New Year, just stick to some simple and basic rules. Have faith
in yourself and your abilities. Count your blessings before you cry on
your misfortunes. Learn to take each day one at a time. Create
opportunities for yourself for quitting is never an option. Above all
accomplish all you take under your wings – never abandon without
completion.

28.Life may not always give you the second chance so
be grateful to God that you are alive to see another year of happiness,
wealth, prosperity and joy.

29.Discover new joys, embark on new journeys and give more meaning to your life in 2015. Happy New Year 2015.


30.No matter if every sunset steels one day from our life, but every
sunrise gives us one another day to hope!i wish new hopes will always be
a part of your life. Happy new year.




HAPPY NEW YEAR POEMS

What can be said in New Year rhymes,
That’s not been said a thousand times?
The new years come, the old years go,
We know we dream, we dream we know.
We rise up laughing with the light,
We lie down weeping with the night.
We hug the world until it stings,
We curse it then and sigh for wings.
We live, we love, we woo, we wed,
We wreathe our prides, we sheet our dead.
We laugh, we weep, we hope, we fear,
And that’s the burden of a year.”Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Happy New Year to you!
May every great new day
Bring you sweet surprises–
A happiness buffet.
Happy New Year to you,
And when the new year’s done,
May the next year be even better,
Full of pleasure, joy and fun. Joanna Fuchs

HE UNKNOWN FUTURE
Life is a book in volumes three–
The past, the present, and the yet-to-be.
The past is written and laid away,
The present we’re writing every day,
And the last and best of volumes three
Is locked from sight — God keeps the key.

NEW YEAR

At the sound of the tolling midnight bell
a brand new year will begin.
Let’s raise our hopes in a confidant toast,
to the promise it ushers in.

May your battles be few, your pleasure many,
your wishes and dreams fulfilled.
May your confidence stand in the face of loss
and give you the strength to rebuild.

May peace of heart fill all your days
may serenity grace your soul.
May tranquil moments bless your life
and keep your spirit whole.

HAPPY NEW YEARS TO YOU
A new year is beginning to peak through
softly beautiful and different like new falling snow,
each day unique and shaped just for you.
Your life adding something as each day does grow.
My wish for your new year is beauty
and softness with surprises thrown in for delight.
Love for each day bringing happiness to you,
making your life a scene of sparkle and shining sunlight.

LET THE NEW YEAR BE…
Let the new year be a year of freedom from sin,
a year of service, a year of trust in God,
and it will be a happy year from first to last.
It may be the hardest year we have known,
but it will be the happiest….By J. M. Buckley ~[/center]

[center]NEW YEAR
To leave the old with a burst of song;
To recall the right and forgive the wrong;
To forget the things that bind you fast
To the vain regrets of the year that’s past;
To have the strength to let go your hold
Of the not worth while of the days grown old;
To dare go forth with a purpose true,
To the unknown task of the year that’s new;
To help your brother along the road,
To do his work and lift his load;
To add your gift to the world’s good cheer,
Is to have and to give a Happy New Year.[/center]
Conclusion

New
Year is best enjoyed with family and friends. Spread the New Year
spirit and share the joy and happiness. Hope this New Year brings to you
a magical touch of various treats and pampers you with several surprise
presents. Enjoy and don’t miss this opportunity of sending warm wishes
to your near and dear ones. Happy New Year 2015 to everyone out there
and cheers!








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-31 19:04:15

104 Views



Our Bed !!! [Read it]


At a small parish in rural England there lived a priest, and several nuns. One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray.
She went to the priest and told him, “Father, I believe your rugs need to be replaced soon.”
The priest thanked her for bringing it to his attention, and told her that he thought that she had been there long enough to refer to church property as ‘our’ not ‘your.’
Several days later, the same nun noticed that the hedge needed to be trimmed.
She again went to the priest and told him, “Father, I’ve noticed that your…I mean our hedge needs to be trimmed.”
The priest thanked her for again bringing something to his attention and this time asked her if she had seen his watch that had gone missing. She said she hadn’t, but assured him she would look for it.
A few days later the parish received word that the bishop would be coming for a visit. The entire parish was busy readying the church for the visit.
On the day the bishop arrived, the same nun came down the front stairs yelling, “Father! Father! I found your watch!”
The bishop said, “How wonderful my child. Where did you find it?”
After saying hello to the bishop, the nun turned to the priest and said, “I found it under OUR bed.”tempRelated



While examining a female patient, Doctor tells her:

“Your heart, lungs, pulse, BP are fine. Now let me see that cute little thing which gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble.

Woman immediately started taking off her jeans and underwear.

Doc shocked said:

“No! No! Please put on your clothes. Just show me your tongue…”


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-21 06:07:23

178 Views




One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and while questioning him about his life, she asked him how he managed for sex.


“What`s that” he asked.


She explained to him what sex was and he said, “Oh, I use hole in trunk of tree.”


Horrified, she said, “Tarzan you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly.”


She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide.


“Here,” she said, “you must put it in here.”


Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony.


Eventually she managed to gasp, “What the hell did you do that for?”


“Tarzan not stupid – check for bees.”Related

life is sweet [Read it]


A drunk 18 year old boy asked a
married woman out, the woman got
pissed & told her husband..
The husband told her to invite the boy so
dat he can beat the hell out of him.
The woman did what her husband
requested as he was hidding under the bed...
When the boy got there, he
took off his t-shirt and his body was full of
scars..this made the woman to asked,"why have U so many scars?"
The boy replied,"My job is to
lay married women & usually I get caught
so I kill the husbands, if someone shows up
now he will be number 20 on my murder list...
The boy continued, as the woman tried to reach out her
husband under the bed, a small voice came up,
"If U tell him am here, U ll see!!.."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-15 08:47:31

36905 Views




2 boys was killing there self today in front of my yad as we hold them i ask what is the problem one of them answerd this boy was traing to kill me in my dreem so let me kill him first


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-24 14:39:20

410 Views




husband and wife agreed that whenever they want to have sex they will call it ' phone call' so that the children won't understand. one day dad sand son to tell mum, that he went's to make a phone call mum, replies tell dad that network is busy to day; dad replies tell mum that the call is urgent. if the network is busy am going to a public phone booth: mum replies tell him that if he date goes to public phone booth, I Will open a business central and all phone calls will be free.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-05 21:44:36

246 Views




as the teacher was teaching akpos was busy making noise.'Akpos pay attention my lesson or get out'.said d teacher.Akpos stand u leaving.'Akpos where are u going'.asked d teacher.
Akpos:i dont av money 2 pay for attention,so i av 2 leave


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-22 19:12:48

469 Views




Wife: Honey, let’s go to watch Ek Villain today.


Husband: But you said your mom isn’t in town!Related

‘First, you tell him that you love him and that you’re sorry for what you’re about to tell him. Then, tell him! Leave out nothing. Tell him your feelings at the time and be truthful – he’ll know!’ The Clinical psychologist replied.

So it was that I sat on the same Airport seat, the next evening, waiting for Festus to come and pick me home, I made up my mind that I’d tell him exactly what had transpired on the day of the tryst – leaving out nothing, and begging his forgiveness. I cried in spite of my determination not to. I hated myself for what I’d done!

When we, got home, we had a mini celebration for my recovery.

The next day, as the kids left for school, and Festus was on leave from work, I decided to tell him exactly what I had done – leaving out nothing. I begged his forgiveness. I regretted my adulterous act. I was truly sorry for what I’d done! i made a strong volition never to give-in to such temptation. I’d never commit adultery against my husband and my marriage. I told him I have made a firm resolution never to repeat the same mistake..

Then, suddenly, it was as if a heavy burden had been lifted from me. My mind functioned perfectly and life was again worth living. I sat motionless, waiting for Festus’ reaction.

Our eyes met and I saw the old adoration – that flicker of lust that had passed between us in olden times. It’d been months but it was back!
I returned the look and found it received with more adoration as I felt myself grow moist! .

About two hours later alone in our master bedroom, My eyes and mouth begged Festus to take me. I had never wanted him more than at that moment. But Festus said to me,”Doctor prescribed bed rest and lots of calm and serenity for you. Do you think it’s wise?’

It was then that I attacked Festus as I stripped him of his clothing and prepared to f^ck him. Of course, Festus was willing and as his clothes fell so did mine, because moments later, we met in a flesh to flesh embrace as our mouths supported a deep kiss. It was the best.
Our hands eagerly explored each other’s bare flesh as we had done in the distant past. We adored each other. . ..

Moments later I fell onto the bed and Festus moved over me where his mouth engaged my Tips, first one; then the other. It was fantastic as
I reveled in my pleasure.

But it wasn’t enough as I grasped his now rigid c*ck and guided it to my willing p^ssy where it slipped smoothly into place. It was the best. . .
The coital rhythm was soon in motion as the two of us extracted each others pleasure with sensations that drove our passions like never before. . . . It was wonderful. . . .

When we climaxed together a few moments later, I knew that the best was yet to come; that incredible intimacy that I and Festus shared on those occasions.

Then, as we lay in each others arms, I knew that I was fortunate – I had the very best. I knew that I’d never feel the desire to search for something better again. I had the best. . . .

Then, as we talked, Festus said, “I’ve known for several months something was troubling you. . . ever since that night several months ago when you suddenly became distant and worried. I knew then that you had a problem and wanted to help. You seemed to reject me. . .”

“Then, since I had no idea what was bothering you, I was left out and you were rejecting me. I took up “hanging with the boys” to compensate.

If only I’d known!’ he continued.

It was at exactly that moment when tragedy struck again. . . Festus began to complain of a pain in the left side of his head and chest.
An hour later, Festus – my husband – was dead!

...Guess What Could have Killed Him....

>> Episode 6 -

Michael: oh my love!i really missed you
Stephanie: will you stay away from me and am not your love
Michael: oh i see;you are happy that all these bad things happen between us,so you can go back to Desmond
Stephanie: you are such a foolish boy. i don't know how i end up with you,i was so stupid to think that i love you
Michael: you don't know;i will tell you,you did end up with me because am one perfect boy,you can't find in this entire world
Stephanie: whoever told you,you are perfect must had been fooling you because you are a worse than the devil himself.
Michael: i don't think so but if you insist,i accepted but come to think of it,whom among us is the devil,if not you?you are not the only girl that breakup with a boy and still share a kiss with him;sleep on his bed;always hugging him;laughing with him and could not stay away from him,when she was asked to do so by the person she claim she love,now tell me darling,whom among us is the devil himself?

Stephanie: you are a monster Michael. i love you even when i tell myself i don't,deep down in me,i do love and you,you said you love me then why are you treating me like this
Michael: you just called me a monster;monster don't fall in love (he laughed)i just want to have my way with you but i realised that you are not a virgin like you acted you were. stupid girl;you such a common prostitute
Stephanie: i hate you
Michael: i hate you even more(he pushed her to floor and walked away)
Stephanie: i hate you(curtain)

Anita: where is Stephanie
Tosan: since she came back from school she had not been herself,she had been indoors crying all day and she haven't eating anything
Anita: what is wrong with that girl?
Tosan: go check on her
Anita: i don't think so,if she want to be left alone then let her be
Tina: who should they let be?
Tosan: is Stephanie;she has lock her self up
Tina: why should we let her be?when you know that we both share that room
Anita: don't worry you will share mine with me
Tina: i don't want to,where will i get clothes to wear now?
Tosan: don't worry;i will give you what to wear
Tina: i said i don't want to wear people's clothes
Ann: Tina;we are all family. so you can wear anyone of our clothes. we do share like that before now
Tina: alright fine;i will

Anita: thanks anyway for your concern
Tina: don't tell me thanks yet because i might change my mind
Ann: naught you

Desmond: hello;good afternoon
Vina: afternoon;how are you
Desmond: am fine and you
Vina: am fine also. didn't you go to class
Desmond: i just returned because it was an early morning class. why are you calling?don't you also have class
Vina: i was in class bit my big sister called;she said she had been trying to reach Stephie but her number is not going through for two days and this is making her worried. so when she called i told her,i will try and reach Stephie but is not going through
Desmond: have you try reaching her flatmate
Vina: i did try calling Anita but she is not picking and her other flatmate don't seems to want to talk about her and i won't want to call my big sister to tell her that,she wouldn't be able to take it. i don't know if you have seen her
Desmond: i haven't really see her for two days,don't worry;i will go check on her,whatever it is i will let you know
Vina: thanks;i will be waiting
Desmond: alright bye(he end the call)i don't know was wrong with Stephie
Alfred: is she the one calling you
Desmond: is her sister
Alfred: her sister
Desmond: yes;her sister Vina
Alfred: that means you two are now cementing your relationship
Desmond: don't be stupid,she is a friend nothing more nothing less
Alfred: i know already but i still don't believe
Desmond: that is your business,let me get my keys so i go see her
Alfred: good luck
Desmond: what for
Alfred: you know what i mean
Desmond: go away;you have a dirty mind
Alfred: i know

Anita: Stephanie;will you please open the door
Stephanie: i don't want to see anyone. please leave me alone
Tosan: why should we?when you know,we will never be comfortable without your been fine
Stephanie: i am fine;don't worry i am alright
Anita: you are not alright. if you are,why did you off your phone and lock up yourself?
Stephanie: i said i am fine. just leave me alone
Anita: but we can't your sister are worried sick about you
Stephanie: don't worry about them;they will be fine
Tina: please come out from that room because i have to take something from there. if you want to kill yourself just don't do it in other people house
Anita: Tina;are you that heartless
Tina: am not,why beg her to come and eat?if she want die let her die
Tosan: will you keep your mouth shut?if you don't have anything to say just quiet
Tina: alright;i have heard(enter Desmond)
Ann: Stephanie;if it is because of the humiliation given to you by Michael in school,i know about it already but that is not enough reason for you to want to kill yourself
Anita: what happen in school?
Ann: my friend told me,she saw Stephanie been insulted by a boy and he even had to pushed her to the ground and the description fit Michael
Tosan: that boy is a bastard
Ann: Stephanie;please com out
Stephanie: i said i don't want to. i don't want to come out
Desmond: what is going on there?
Tosan: thank God you are here. can you please make Stephanie come out from her room
Desmond: how long as she been there?
Anita: for two days now
Desmond: don't worry;you should leave both of us,i want to talk to her alone
Anita: alright then;lets go girls
Ann: take care
Desmond: Stephie
Stephanie: i told you all to leave me alone,go away(she cry)
Desmond: is Desmond
Stephanie: go away Desmond;i don't want to see you also
Desmond: was my offence?did i hurt you?did i say anything that hurt you?if i did,i am sorry;am really sorry
Stephanie: you did me no wrong but just go away
Desmond: then fine;come out and face the world. i thought you said whatever problem we have,we should be able to face it and no problem is too big to solve. no matter how many times people hurt you,you still have yourself to tell you sorry but you have no one to tell you sorry when you are the one hurting yourself and people around you. especially your family and they are worried sick about you,if you don't want to live your life again because of a boy then stay in here and accept defeat. am leaving and i am definitely going to tell your sister what happen to you bye(she open the door)
Stephanie: Desmond;i am sorry(she hug him)
Desmond: is alright;you look dehydrated,let me get you a glass of water and food
Stephanie: i don't want to
Desmond: can i come in
Stephanie: sure you can
Desmond: what went wrong
Stephanie: i am fed up with life,i just want to die
Desmond: you want to die because Michael dump you?tell me;are you in love with him?
Stephanie: no;i don't
Desmond: go ahead;tell me the truth;its just the two of us
Stephanie: i said no
Desmond: then why are you crying over him
Stephanie: i am not crying over him. am just crying over the things he did to me and the words he used
Desmond: you share tears over the things he did to you because you never expected someone you love to do such a thing like that to you
Stephanie: fine;i love him because he is the first boy that i accepted into my life and even when i tell myself and Anita that i don't love him,its all lies because i love him even with all the pains he cause me,i still love him(tears roll Desmond chic) am sorry that am a fool to fall in love with someone that is not in love with me
Desmond: how do you know that he is not in love with you (he wipe his tears)

Stephanie: is all true,i saw it in his eyes that he doesn't love me. if he was;he wouldn't had called me a prostitute but i forgive him because i love him
Desmond: is alright;you will be fine without him. all you need do is face your life back
Stephanie: thank you Desmond(she hug him) for always been here for me
Desmond: come on;lets go and meet the others
Stephanie: alright
Anita: welcome back my baby
Ann: you scared us to death
Stephanie: i am sorry;i wouldn't do it again
Tosan: if you try that next time i will break that door
Tina: do you have hand to break a door (Laughed all)Desmond
Stephanie: you all should help me thank Desmond
Anita: thank you for bring out my baby (he said nothing)are you alright(he hit him)
Desmond: sure;am fine. were you saying something
Anita: yes
Desmond: what did you say
Ann: food is ready;all of you come and eat. just forget what she said
Desmond: i am sorry;i have to be on my way
Stephanie: hey hold on,aren't you going to join us?
Desmond: no;i don't want to
Stephanie: please sit;even if is just a spoon
Desmond: alright i will
Tosan: we look like one big happy family (laughing and eating)Stephanie;can yo help with that glass
Stephanie: alright
Tina: can i asked you a question(to Stephanie)
Anita: i hope is not one of those your stupid question
Tina: i don't asked stupid question. so do you want me to go ahead?
Stephanie: sure you can
Tina: thank you;why is it that back then;when you were dating Desmond(he rise his head to look at Tina)and he break up with you;you did not cried this long for him,the only tears you shared for him was because of him humiliating you in front of his friends but how come its been more than a week Michael break up with you,you still crying over him?is it that you don't love Desmond and that you are just after his money?(tears fall Stephanie eyes)
Desmond: what kind of stupid question is that
Tina: don't get offended;just let her answer the question. am sorry Desmond
Ann: Tina;you have a propound problem
Tina: i don't have any,you all should just let her answer the question
Anita: she is not going to do that
Tina: why shouldn't she?
Tosan: is because it is irrelevant
Stephanie: don't worry i will answer her. i was never in love with Desmond,i was just after his money because am in love with your boyfriend Tunde
Tina: that can't be true. even if you are in love with him,he is not in love with you
Desmond: Tunde is in love woth her(tears roll his eyes)
Tina: what do you mean?that is not true
Desmond: yes;Tunde is in love with Stephie but he could not approach her because his greatest fear is that Stephanie will turn him down
Tosan: is there something we are not getting right here
Stephanie: Desmond;what is wrong with you?why did you want add more pains to my pains
Desmond: i am not;that is the fact(enter Ayo/Tosin/Tunde/Alfred)
Tosan: thank God;you are here
Tosin: what is going on here?
Tina: Tunde;tell me the truth
Tunde: what truth
Tina: tell me;what Desmond just said are all lies
Alfred: Desmond;what did you say
Tina: Alfred;stay away from this. Tunde are yo in love with Stephanie
Ayo: not again;i wish i know i wouldn't had come here
Tina: Ayo;you can as well leave if you want to. Tunde answer be
Tosin: that was back then right Tunde?
Tina: are you all just too dumb that you don't know that the question is directed to Tunde

Tunde: yes;am in love with Stephanie up till now. i just can't forget those feelings i felt for her,when we first met at the school library and the day Desmond introduce her to us,i felt i was a coward and when they both break up,i felt i had an opportunity for both of us to but it never did happen because i don't want yo hurt you;Tina and when ever i see Stephanie sharing her entire life with Desmond i feel like i want to explode. am sorry Tina forgive me
Anita: and Stephanie is in love with you
Tunde: Stephanie;are you in love with me(he held her hand)
Stephanie: (she look at Desmond)yes(tears drop Desmond eyes)
Tina: you such a bastard(she slapped Stephanie)you are in love with Tunde all this while and had to tell lies that am in love with Desmond. is that why you want both of us to break up
Stephanie: that is a lie;yes i was in love with Tunde but was ready to sacrifice all that just so we can still be friends. even if Tunde said he love me,i know deep down in him,you are still the one he is in love with (she slapped her again)am sorry Tina
Tina: you are a liar(she push her to the floor)
Stephanie: i am sorry
Tosin: why treat her that bad like you are a saint
Tina: what am i?am i not a saint?will i stood so low as to be in love with my friend fiancee
Desmond: i am sorry all i cause all this(he turn to leave)
Tosin: you don't have to leave now Tina tell Tunde the truth also
Tina: what truth?
Tosan: what are you driving out
Tosin: you will soon know. Tina tell Tunde what am i saying?tell everyone that you are in love with Desmond
Anita: what?is there something we are not getting straight now
Tosin: go ahead
Tina: am not in love with him
Tosin: is like you didn't get me,i said you are in love with him
Tina: yes;am in love with Desmond;is just so unfortunate that he is not in love with me. i was only using Tunde back then because am not in love with Tunde (she walked towards Desmond)i love you with everything i have and am even ready to give up everything just for you because i love your decency not your money
Tunde: you bastard(he hit Desmond)
Tina: will you let go of him?i love him nothing will change it
Desmond: even if i am nobody
Tina: even if you are nothing;i will still love you
Desmond: am sorry;am not in love with you. am in love with someone else (tears drop his eyes)
Tina: is it Stephanie?
Desmond: no;she is my friend and she is like a sister to me but she betray me
Tina: is she Georgina
Desmond: i am sorry(he turn to leave)am really sorry all. that is one question i can't answer(he move a step forward)
Stephanie: Desmond
Desmond: what again?are you going to tell me you are using me to get close to Tunde too
Stephanie: not at all(tears roll her chin)you are my friend;my brother and my father. i may not love you the way people expected me to but it doesn't change anything because you are my brother that will never be replace
Desmond: that doesn't really count because i was never in love with you before now
Stephanie: i know right from the start that you don't love me but then you show me love more than any boy can his fiancee. please forgive me
Desmond: i asked you this Stephie;are you in love with Tunde and what did you tell me?
Stephanie: i said....(he cut her)
Desmond: you don't have to because you owe me no explanation (he walked away)
Stephanie: Desmond;wait
Anita: let him go;he had enough for today
Ayo: i think we should also start going home?Alfred shall we
Alfred: Tosin and Tunde shall we
Tosin: alright goodbye
Tosan: take care (exit all boys)what a small world;we are living in
Ann: so you know all this while that Stephanie is in love with Tunde and you kept it to yourself
Anita: what am i suppose to do?
Stephanie: is not your fault am sorry;i had to drag all of you into this
Tosan: where is Tina
Ann: she is in the room
Stephanie: i hope she forgive me
Tosan: don't worry;i will talk to her
Stephanie: alright

Brown: i hope you don't intent to get drunk?this one you are mixing all almost all the wine in the bar
Desmond: i wouldn't mind,even if i had to prevent myself from remembering anything again
Brown: is there something;you want to forget
Desmond: everything;my mom;Georgina;Tina and most especially Stephie



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Kanjoos(Miser) lawyer working in UK wrote to his wife in India .Dear Sunita Darling,I can’t send you my salary this month because the global market crisis has affected my Company’s performance, so I am sending 100 kisses.You are my sweetheart, please understand and adjust with this situation.Your loving husband,TunaHis wife replied..TINKU KE PAPPA,
Thanks for the 100 kisses.Below is the list of expenses I paid with the Kisses…1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s milk.2. The electricity man, Kooldip Singh, agreed not to disconnect only after 7 kisses.3. Your landlord Kapal Singh comes every day to take 2 or 3 kisses instead of the monthly rent.4. Supermarket owner Jaswant Singh did not accept kisses only, so I gave him other items, I hope you understand.5. Miscellaneous expenses 40 kisses.Please don’t worry about me, I still have a balance of 35 kisses andI hope I can survive the month using this balance.Shall I plan the same for the next month?Your Sweet Heart,SunitaRelated

Tosan: nothing my friend;that reminds me;where is our baby?
Anita: Stephanie;is she no at home?
Ann: no;you girls left with her this morning to school
Anita: yes but her class is over about two hours back and she said she is coming home because she is so tired,that she can't wait for us,right Tina?
Tina: yes
Tosan: and she didn't call anyone or maybe she is at the school library
Anita: i know she is safe and she is not doing anything bad that will put her in trouble
Tina: are you sure
Anita: yes;but that is not an issue;the issue now is food and food only
Ann: go to the kitchen and prepared food for everyone of us
Anita: so does it mean you girls did not prepared anything
Tosan: yes we did not
Anita: lazy girls;so what do we eat
Tina: that is why i like Stephanie;if she had been here;she would had prepared something before now(laughed all)what is the laughter all about?
Anita: when it get to other things;she is worse than the devil in your eyes
Tina: one never hate completely likewise love
Anita: really Tina babe;madam(enter Stephanie) where are you coming from and who gave you that which you are carrying?have you started another relationship and i don't know?
Ann: slow down;which one did you want her to answer
Anita: all of them(she turn Stephanie)am talking to you;answer me(she screamed) oh you suddenly gone dumb;i know what to do;i will tell your sister
Stephanie: Anita;come off it,is not what you are driving out,is like this,on my way home;i met Desmond,he said, 'he doesn't want to go home yet that i should come with him' i have no choice than to go with him. he want to visit one of his course mate on our way back,he said he is hungry' we went to an eatery that was how i get this things
Tina: are you sure is Desmond that brought those things?
Stephanie: yes;am sure
Anita: i will call him to confirm it Stephanie: (she laughed)no problem my mummy
Anita: crazy girl
Tina: are you two dating again?
Stephanie: no;he is just my friend
Ann: is alright;if you say so,you just have to be careful,you know he has a betroth
Tina: if both of them are back together is nothing bad,i know she is a smart girl;she wouldn't do anything bad
Tosan: Tina;is this you?i cant believe my eyes
Tina: i don't care what you all saying;Stephanie can i have one meat pie
Stephanie: sure(curtain)
Alfred: (on phone)really?dad wouldn't had say does words to you,since it hurt that bad;don't take it to heart i will call dad
Alfred's brother: i hope he listen to you,i really hope he does
Alfred: don't worry i will call him
Alfred's brother: okay bye (he drop the phone)
Georgina: are you having problem?
Alfred: not really,is nothing i can't handle
Georgina: i came to realise now that we are no longer the friends;we used to be;back then;we do tell each other our secret even if it hurt but now it seem you are far away from each other even though we are so close. did i do anything wrong?
Alfred: no;you did nothing wrong
Georgina: if you say so;then why are you avoiding me
Alfred: am not;you know you and Desmond were the only friends;i had then in the state and when we came to Nigeria then Desmond was still there;we became more closer before Desmond came back and was betroth to you;which made our friends even more stronger. so why should i be mad at you?am not that kind of a person that throw whatever we had behind
Georgina: really?
Alfred: yes
Georgina: so can i trust you
Alfred: why not?i know once you have that look;you want to asked something. don't worry;you can go ahead and ask(she brought out a picture)
Georgina: who is this girl and Desmond
Alfred: Stephanie;you know her?she is the girl with Desmond,that went for the competition
Georgina: that is the point but i know that something is going on been them
Alfred: nothing;Stephanie happen to be the friend of my girlfriend and the rest if the boys and they all live in same house;that is why we bond together very well. there is not serious going on between them
Georgina: are you sure?
Alfred: yes;i am sure and don't give me that look because all I know is both of them are just friends
Georgina: i just hope that all you are saying is really the truth;i just hope so;if not,i can't trust you again
Alfred: if ever a friend do fall short of the necessary requirement of friendship;the other from the other end should be able to create room for a second chance
Georgina: i just hope i do(exit Georgina)
Alfred: i an sorry;i just wish you forgive me for not telling the truth and i can't when i know nor of us is save from this mess

Georgina: good day young lady
Tina: good day(she start walking away)
Georgina: hey young woman;slow down why are you walking so fast away from me?we are not quarrelling
Tina: no;is just that i am in hurry
Georgina: are you sure or you are avoiding?
Tina: why should i avoid you?
Georgina: lets forget about all of it;we can be friends
Tina: yes;we can be friends
Georgina: let me buy you lunch at the school canteen
Tina: no;you don't have to
Georgina: i caught you there;you haven't really forgiven me
Tina: alright fine by me
Georgina: shall we(at school canteen)are you enjoying the meal
Tina: yes;it is a nice one;i have always like eating from the school canteen because its food taste sweet but Stephanie doesn't like it. she will always say it is better when we have home made food but is okay
Georgina: who then prepared the food or do you know how to to cook?
Tina: no;i don't even want to;it won't taste nice
Georgina: funny enough;i don't know how to and i don't want to learn
Tina: why don't you want to learn?if you get married who will prepare your husband's meal

Georgina: that is while we have the less privilege;those who are willing to become maids
Tina: you are right;once you have money,you can avoid anything even your husband's heart
Georgina: naught girl;less i forget who then do the cooking?
Tina: is Stephanie;who else;except Stephanie
Georgina: that reminds me,talking about Stephanie what kind of girl is she really is?i haven't really meet her but i have heard a lot about her
Tina: she is someone that knows how to enter into peoples life and make it seems like she is helping them but on the other hand she is just really there to used people. she is like a snake so cunning and the mist annoying is that people fall for it
Georgina: really?
Tina: yes;don't you know Desmond once dated her
Georgina: wait;which Desmond?no is not my Desmond
Tina: yes;didn't he tells you that he and his friends had a bet on her;that if she fall for him;then he will be pay the price of five hundred;the money was tempting may that is why he got involve. he really did not like Stephanie because he love you so much and to crown it all he breakup with her in front of his friends
Georgina: really?
Tina: anyway lets not talk about such a stupid person
Georgina: but how cone you don't like her and you still cope with her?why don't you sent her out?

Tina: if i have my way i would had sent her out
Georgina: who is the owner of the house?
Tina: my cousin's dad
Georgina: Anita
Tina: god forbid that proud girl
Georgina: i thought she is your cousin,who then is your cousin?
Tina: Tosan is my cousin and Anita is also her cousin from her paternal side
Georgina: okay;i really enjoying my conversation with you and once again thanks for keeping me company
Tina: all thanks should go to you because you are the one who foot my bills
Georgina: is nothing;friends do helps friends right?
Tina: you right;thanks anyway goodbye

Georgina: bye(curtain)
Ayo: was up babe
Georgina: where is your friend?



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Life is just a script to play. The good news is, you can choose a character you want to play.


Good Morning!Related

Papa came home that evening after Joy have already gone home.
I walked pass them at the parlour chatting and laughing with amanda rubbing papa’s stomach.

Ooh i felt sick to my stomach and and alien jealousy over took me as i cast a glaring look at amanda which she reciprocated gazing at me until i disappeared upstairs and into my room.

Now i can recall that look she gave me when i was walking to my room with joy, it was exactly the same type of look l gave her seeing her rubbing papa’s fat belly.

She really is mad at me because of Joy and obviously still is mad, no wonder i have not seen even one flash from her since morning. Not her teeth nor her flirty gestures or killing winks.. Have been a very cold attitude and scorn.

7pm i went down to the kitchen, expectedly i met her there washing plates while something boiled on the cooker seemed like rice judging from the scent.

“Good evening” i muttered…. scratching the back of my head.
“Yeah” she said quite cold and indifferent.
I knew within me she was not happy with me because of Joy.

Seating at one corner of the kitchen i fixed my eyes on her as she washed and dried the plates.
She was clad in a flimsy gown that just stop after her a-s giving out 80% of those laps that stood like 2 huge soft and fair tree trunks.

My d**k responded, nodding furiously inside my scooby doo boxer this time**Dont mind me, i’m a disney fan..”

The surge of lust in me for this lady was so intense that i could even hear my own heartbeat.
I stood up from the corner i sat, slowly grabbed her from behind crushing my body behind hers.

She jolted in surprise, then surprisingly she threw her head backwards and surrendered her whole frame into mine on getting to know it was me.

I took my head deep into her neck as my lips found the sides of her neck showering kisses into it as my hands strayed from her stomach and journeyed up to the base of her boobs.

Her head fell more backward into me, her mouth flew open but no words escaped except for slight moans that were only audible to my ears.

i dragged my lips side wards to the side of her lips coated in a pink wet lip stick giving her soft bites and kisses on her cheek.
She tilted her face to the right and her lips found mine in a very passionate long wet kiss.

my hands found her boobs giving her soft and hard squeezes as our lips danced into each other.
Her tongues twirled into mine sucking and nibbling at my tongue and lips.

I took my lips down to her neck again kissing and nibbling away at the back of her neck twirling my tongue on her skin as my right hand travelled more downwards to her belly encircling her belly button and my left hand still caressing and squeezing those round full boobs.

my right hand travelled downwards more between her thighs as it sank deep into her laps taking it up enough to graze her p---y covered in a lacy thong.

I could feel the hotness oozing out from there and her juices smearing on my fingers through the thong.

Her moans became more frequent with her hand thrown to the back rubbing the back of my head furiously and the other grazing my laps.

i rubbed her p---y through the panties encircling her c--t tucked into two moulds of swollen labias.
“Oh sky…ooh my gawd… ooohm mmmmm baby” flew out through her mouth filtering into my ears sending more blood pumping vigourosly into my already hard D--k.

I slowly journeyed down to her back attacking the crack of her back with kisses, shifting the tiny rope that held the gown to her shoulder downwards to her upper arms letting the gown slip down more to her stomach.
letting those two most beautiful boobs fall out from under the dress, of course she had no bra on.

my hands grabbed the boobs hard as i gave them even more hard squeezes rubbing her now erect n-----s with my fingers, running them all over her dark aurora.

my lips traced its way downwards to her a-s lifting up that flimsy dress gently, her white lacy panties became visible confirming my guess.

Covering each a-s cheeks with kisses, twirling wit my tongue and licking each of them circling with my tongue and my hands rubbing her p---y which now drenched my them in juices.

My lips trailed down more between her thighs, running my tongue into it grazing her p---y through her thong.
She bends more leaning forward towards the sink letting her a-s shoot out into the air and the greater part of her p---y coming out from behind.

I shifted the thong to the side as my tongue delve full frontal into her p---y, licking her swollen labias, licking through it and my hand caressing her inner thighs.

I could hear faint moans from her as her hands held up her dress for me.
My tongue twirled in her p---y, kissing and licking then gently i pushed my tongue into her p---y hole taking it in as far as it could go rubbing her c--t with my fore finger while my tongue was buried deep into her.. could feel her jerking and twitching above.

Moans after moans turning into groans rewarded me making me more enthusiastic as my tongue pushed deeper into her.
I took my pink tongue to another missionary journey finding her now hard c--t protruding out from her labias. I took it into my mouth, twirling over it grazing and rubbing it with my tongue with her p---y scent filling my nostrils.

“Oh she smells angelic” i moaned through my breathe.
I concentrated on her c--t, slurping and twirling on it. juices smearing all over my jaw.

She started trembling, shaking profusely as i felt her drift into a bout of heavy o----m.
Her quaking was very hard and i s----d on her c--t even more with one of my fingers going in and out her slit.

I could notice her moans were muffled and her legs wobbled making me hold her up through her a-s with my hand.
I got up from under her a-s as she was recovering from the orgasmic spell.

Grabbed her by the neck gently and pushed my mouth into her, she dove her tongue into mine with full force taking me in as hungrily as a man in an indomie advert.

I pushed down my boxer, Junior sky sprang out from under my boxer as my boxer slid down to my knees.
Her a-s were still up in the air and her hands grasping the sink water tap…I took my fingers to her p---y again rubbing it up and down feeling the juice covered p---y once more before i slowly position the head of my D--k at the entrance.

My whole body stiffened as my D--k slowly and easily slid into her warmness.
Waves of dry cold and intense hotness surged through me making me shiver and groan wit my eyes shut tight.

She pushed her a-s out more giving me more range to drive my almost 9inches long member into.
I went in and out, bringing my D--k all the way out till the head was visible then slamming it back.

“Darlin am going inside the bedroom, call me when the food is ready” We heard papa’s voice call out from the parlour as he groaned definitely from him stretching himself.

I froze immediately with my D--k still buried deep into her, my heart melted to my stomach and my eyes glued to the door with popped eyes sensitive enough to see even the slightest movement, ears raised to hear the slightest sound of footsteps that may appear to come toward the kitchen but strangely such risk intensified my lust.

“Ok darlin i will” she called out back to papa before i interrupted by ramming my D--k hard into her making her jerk and moan out softly again.

The thought of papa being in the house as i bleep his new sexy wife from behind right inside the kitchen made more blood rush through my veins into my D--k getting me more mad with lust.

My t----t became long and harder, slamming harder and harder grabbing her boobs with my hand from the back.

“Oh baby..Mmmhmmm my sky…Oh i love u so much..aaaaahh baby pls” she moaned out making me even more hard.

Her p---y walls tightened its grip on my D--k as she was sent into another round of explosive o----m making her shake and quiver.
It sent me over the edge as my own o----m hit me unexpectedly making me grabbed her a-s roughly slamming harder into her in an unrhthymized pattern, my legs wobbling and tapping the ground as waves of hard o----m passed through me as my D--k vomited hot wads of thick fluids deep into her with my whole body quaking like someone dancing a lighter version of shoki.

Her p---y leaked of more juices making it even more slippery, as my D--k gave up the last of its content.
I savored the feel of her p---y holding on my D--k in my post orgasmic mood.
Then i pulled out my half flaccid D--k out, peeled up my scooby doo boxer that now rested on my feet.

“Wooow sky this is the wildest and the best i have ever had” She whispered to me positioning her thong back to the normal position and taking down her dress which were on her stomach, could see how heavy she was blushing giving me an aray of pride.

“Oh s--t, the rice is burning” she blurted out dashing towards the Gas cooker.
I walked out of the kitchen but not after casting another mischievous look at her a-s while she put of the cooker.

She took ghostly look behind winking at me and her lips moved and the words “Thank you” found it’s way into my ears.
I disappeared into the hall way that led to the stairs.

I cant believe i just bleeped this sexy goddess that passed as papa’s wife…My own father’s wife…

..To Be Continued..

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