Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:

distant dirt [Read it]


TEACHER: Akpos, why do you always get so dirty?

AKPOS: Well, I am a lot closer to the ground than you are.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-30 08:23:03

158 Views




Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.

– C.S. LewisRelated

All d gals wey dey dance gala
4 dis new dance no bust kasala
oya start 2 dey laga dat
laga these oya skelewu
ske le.....

me:hello
aunty amaka:Chidi!!!
me:ma
aunty amaka:wat re u doin @ home since mawnin
me:ntin
aunty amaka:ngwa were oso bi awa na yard {come to my house immediate}
mek ma
dat was when i checked my fone and i saw 19 missed calls, 10 from aunty amaka,6 frm aunty juliet and 3 frm my sweet joke.i checked d tym it already 5:20, cha! wic levels na, since wey i no myself i neva sleep lyk dis ooooo....i started tinkin of d lie i will gv my aunty if i call her nw.
me:hello aunty gud evenin ma...she did nt even reply me
aunty juliet:wher ar u
me:@ home
aunty juliet:doin wat
Me:I jst finish clearin d compound dis afternoon so i decided 2 rest
aunty juliet:wow daz very thoughful of u dear
me:********
aunty juliet:aunty amaka called me dat u are yet 2 com so i decided 2 gv u a call 2 verify,bt since u were doing smtin important ther is no problem
mek
hang up
cha! i dn die, naim b say i go clear dis compound b4 she will be back, com 2 tink of it i mumu ooooo, why i go lie da kind lie na,well i cant cry over spilled milk, anytime wey i lyk i com ther com deceiv myself ,wetin concern me i b lawma wey dey pack dustbin mtcheew. immediately i brought my skul bag unpacking all d whole books on a table,tke 4 of my clothes insyd,zip it after alli can still com bck if i still wnt her house is nt far, folded my charger and put insyd my pockect,as i ws leavin d compound smtin caught my attention, i ws hearin.....ahahhahhahahahhahhahahha.....oyea 4k me babe!
cha! dat ws ekene and his gal friend Nancy...d gal lik d!ck ehn!!! i sure say pple wey dey pas go dey hear her moans or rather shout
{ekene ws one of our neighbour who ws leavin @ d gate man house,he have a shop @ Alaba market while nancy serve as a sales gale in d same market}
jst as i predicted i ws hearin her shoutout!!! wen i left d compound cha! mke dis guy cover dis babe mouth na!!!...i hanged my skul bag on my back and started bouncin,wen i ws about leavin my strt wen i saw joke wit 2 other galz comin...they wer js giglin i ws sure joke ws telin dm smtin...mtcheew wu cares, i dn bang u b say i dn bang u....
joke:hy my love{no b only ur lov ur like kwanu}
me:hw ar u
joke:jst d way u left me
me:are u sure...lukin @ her formin suspiciuos
joke:yes na..emm meet my friends, here is stella and funmi{da ws d first tym i ws doin such tins bt i dey watch film na i go try do lyk dm 2day}
me:hy stela nd funmi....shakin hands wit dem
Both:fine dear....formin nadia buhari and yvonne nelson Lol
joke:wher are u goin with dat bag
me:2 my aunts"s house na
joke:i thought....neva mind ok{lukin a bit disappointed
me:alryt walkin away
joke:i love u ok
me:lov u 2{i will ask guy dis question...why is it dat when sm guyz hav a crush dey will try 2 gt d gal nd once dey got wat dey want their will jst run nd leave her if d gal happens 2 b too emotional she will jst fall in love...if u are one of dm stop oooh is 2 bad}
joke:i will call u later
mek
as i jst bounce enter my aunty street my guyz cm dey hail me collabo! collabo!! colabo!!!.
Cha! omo i dn turn celebrity ooo...jst bkuz of wat i said with my mouth, i neva sing ooo..if i com sing kwanu!!!




NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Pls solve this for me urgently. Let's assume
you saw a laptop of 97K. You didn't have
the cash, so you borrowed 50K from ur mom
and 50K from ur dad = 100K. You bought
the laptop which left you with 3K change.
You gave ur dad 1K and ur mum 1K and
kept the other 1K to yourself. Now you owe
your mum 49K and ur dad 49K. Now 49K
+49K = 98K + ur 1K kept = 99K.Where is the
missing 1K?I know you are intelligent.
Solve it and tell me the answer...#share and
see interesting answers. #nairajokes.com #B-goF #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-15 21:40:33

793 Views




Corporate joke:

A Manager cracks a joke. Everyone in the team laughs except one guy…

Manager asks him: Didn’t you understand the Joke???

The guy replies: I resigned yesterday…
????????????????????Related

BUHARI WAKE UP! [Read it]


This is no more a joke o!
I am fucken tired of this damn administration
Yes we have had bad governance by previous
PDP reps according to the blind ones, but can
someone tell me when one passed the night in a
fuel station to get just a litre of petrol...
I am not sure Nigeria has a president yet, let the
truth be heard.
From one problem to another
- Currency (Naira prostrating to Dollar(
- PHCN
- Collecting looted money we don't no where it's kept
- Travelling up and down, it seems he thinks he is
minister of Travel affairs
- Fuel. In history highest sold, yet no fuel.
- 1 year noting have been seen done.
Where are we heading to
To all Buhari supporters, una need fasting and
prayers ooo


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-06 16:14:47

285 Views



ANGELS [Read it]


Episodes:

Find The Water [Read it]


A Nigerian, an American and a German boarded a plane.



As the plane was flying over the sea satan came out and said to them:

"I want you to drop something into the sea, if I find it you die and if I don't, you live."



The American quickly plucked a button from his shirt and threw it into
the sea. Satan dived into the sea and came up with the button.

 ''see!'' he said, and killed the American.



The German threw a Pin into the sea, Satan dived and came out with the Pin.

 ''See!'' he said and killed the German.



The Nigerian brought out a pure water sachet, opened it and poured the
contents into the sea holding back the sachet, he said to Satan, ''Oya
begin find water inside water...Idiot''.



Even the devil bowed in defeat.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-16 08:27:52

102 Views




TWO DAYS LATER…

Silence reigned in the parlor as Mrs. Bridget tried to absorb what Priscilla related to her concerning her husband’s ultimatum. The older woman let out a deep breath. The same reaction her younger sister had when she told her.

Priscilla closed her eyes and snapped them open remembering the ugly incident. Her stomach hurt and she felt a bit hot.

“I can understand his point of view” she concluded unhappily, “I think he’s hurting too.”

Mrs. Bridget nodded thoughtfully. “So what do you want to do now?”

She shook her head staring distantly into space. “I can’t imagine killing my baby”, a tear slid from the corner of her eye. “I can’t do that no matter what…”

“I would never have advised you to do that”, Mrs. Bridget replied levelly. “He is hurting, but to ask for that is a bit too much.”

“I’m so scared of losing him”, she hugged herself suddenly feeling cold and sniffed back her tears “I’m going to lose him”. Priscilla looked tearfully at her companion who said nothing staring at her with sympathy.

After a moment Mrs. Bridget spoke in a soft tone, “Everything will work out fine, Priscilla. You need God now more than ever and He won’t leave you when you need Him the most. Do what is right.” She got up and walked up to Priscilla, stopping by the side of her seat. “You have people that love you, you’re not alone.” With that, she walked away from her.

Priscilla sat curled up in the chair and smiled sadly to herself. She kept asking what the right decision was; she didn’t want to lose either of them but to abort? That was never a part of her doctrine. Maybe it was time to consider her sister’s proposal; travel to Port Harcourt and figure out what she wanted to do with her life. Divorce or not, she had to do something with her life, find meaning to her life.

A single tear slid down her cheek and she wiped it off. Priscilla got up from her seat and walked slowly towards the corridor leading to the rooms – suddenly realizing how faint she was feeling.

She walked to her room and lay on the bed; her head was pounding and her body burning up. Priscilla lay crumpled on the bed almost howling in pain, she reached painfully for her phone in tears. She dialed Mrs. Bridget’s number, too weak to shout. Sweat broke out of her skin and a warm liquid slid languidly down her thighs. It made a spurt of red on the white bed sheet. Panic filled her lungs. She was losing her baby.



Priscilla opened her heavy eyelids, she just woke up from a dream; a beautiful dream. Her eyes opened to reality and it took her a minute to absorb were she lay. She was in a hospital. She looked about in panic and a man lay feet from her sleeping in an uncomfortable position. Her head felt heavy on her neck and the numb pain in her left hand flooded her senses, she looked down and saw she was infused with a drip.

She burst into tears sobbing loudly as the memories of old came to her, her right hand rested on her stomach; she could not feel her little bump. The man woke up, it was Tunde but she was in no mood to be surprised, he was beside her swiftly with a worried look on his face.

“Why are you crying?”

Priscilla looked at him through blurry eyes and choked back a question “What are you doing here?” her voice was frail.

“The Mrs Bridget called and informed me, the bank needed your next of kin around”, he replied in dismissal. Tunde stood beside her and clasped her hand “She went to call the doctor the moment you began to stir, they should be here any moment from now.”

“How’s my baby?” she asked in a small voice half-afraid she knew the answer. He shook his head downcast and a tear spill out of her.

“God”, she sobbed to herself.

“Well” Tunde replied trying to calm her down “You will have other babies Priscilla.” He placed a comforting hand on her cheek and her sobbing stopped and turned into anger.

“Please get your hands off me”, she stilled and pushed herself away in pain. “Get your hands off me”, Priscilla snapped, pushing her husband’s hand away with her free hand.

His hand dropped with a shocked look on his face “Priscilla…” Tunde called her name perturbed.

“You wanted my baby dead Tunde, there’s no reason why you should be here”. her tone was spiteful. Priscilla’s sobbing began again.

“Priscilla I…”

“Please leave.” Her heart was heavy grieving for her baby. For the first time she looked at her husband with hate. She was tired, her head hurt and her heartbeat crazily in her chest knowing her child, whom she had suffered a lot for these past months, was gone.

She blamed her husband and now here he stood by her side. He was the last person she wanted to wake up to when he hated this child so much he gave her an ultimatum. Her sobbing was uncontrollable, she wanted to be swallowed up into her dream again but his presence was disturbing. The familiar warmth she knew with him being around her was gone.

“Priscilla, I came because I couldn’t stand the idea of…”

She cut him short, raising up a shaky hand. “Tunde just leave. I’m done,” she said crying, “I’m not doing this with you anymore. Just leave me alone.”

“Priscilla, I want to take you home with me,” he replied in a distressed tone “I want us to…”

“Leave me alone”, she raised her voice this time sounding almost hysterical “I’m done Tunde, I’m not going to ‘your house’ with you!” She burst into fresh tears. Distinctly, she heard the door open and she could hear muffled sounds telling him to leave. A hand touched her arm and she felt the stinging intrusion of a syringe, her sobbing slowly stopped and she slipped into darkness.

***

He was a mess, he knew he was a mess but he did not let it disturb him, he had so much to do liquidating the company and settling his family. Everyone was on edge and it was weird not having his father around. Tunde sat alone on the balcony in the lonely house with a glass of Bourbon in his hand, he smiled to himself remembering the day he told Priscilla she was turning into an addict; well he was becoming one…without her.

He downed the rest of the drink in his hand. God, he missed her so much he could not even understand himself, how he could love this person this much was so difficult to quantify. He wanted to growl and let out his pent up frustration, her words kept resounding in his head; she was done. It was his fault. Everything was his fault. He heard footsteps in the house at times, he could swear he heard her laughter but it was all in his head.

There was a loud banging on the door of his house, Tunde got up like a robot and walked into the sitting room to the entrance door. He opened the door and Demilade stood outside looking worried.

She walked in dressed in a loose shirt and jeans, he face was lightly made up and her hair packed up into a bun. “Tunde, I’m worried about you” she spoke with concern as he locked the door.

The moon poured into the sitting room through the open balcony, it gave a beautiful silhouette. Tunde walked to the dining table and leaned on it heavily letting out a deep breath. Demilade walked up to him and took the glass from his hand bringing it up to her nose. It stank of alcohol as she took place it on the glass table.

“Tunde what is wrong?” it almost sounded like she was wailing. “You are a shadow of yourself. We are all worried; I know you’ve had a lot to take on recently.”

He nodded and rubbed his tired eyes. She placed a hand on his shoulder “Is it about Priscilla?” her voice was soft and he nodded again.

“She lost the baby,” He stated morosely. “I… I don’t know what to do Demi, she wants a divorce.” He wanted to break into a sob. His sister sighed in pity and took him into an embrace.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered “I’m so sorry Tunde” they stayed that way for a long while until he broke out of it and they sat on the settee.

Demilade sighed, “I never knew things would turn out this way,” she stated distantly “You, in love with someone like that…” she did not mean it as an insult, rather, for the first time she pitied him. “What happened?”

“I gave her an ultimatum”, Tunde began guiltily as he remembered the last time she came to his office. “She came to sort things out and I gave her an ultimatum, get rid of the baby or get a divorce”, he paused swallowing his pain “I shouldn’t have.”

“You were hurting,” Demilade stated, soothingly.

Tunde continued as if he was talking to himself “I got a surprising call from the lady she’s been staying with and that’s how I found out she had lost her baby.” He paused, catching a moment of silence. “She looked at me with such hatred Demi. I’ve never seen her that way.”

“She’s a mother who just had a second miscarriage; I can understand why she would have been that way. You need to give her time Tunde; you both need to heal before anything else.”

“She wanted a divorce,” he stated simply not ready to speak much.

“She needs time, Tunde. Besides, you need to take care of yourself too…” Demilade sighed, stressing her point. “You need to get up and live your life. So much has happened Tunde, you also need to take a breather. Be patient, things will work out in due time dear.” She gave him a reassuring smile. Do you know where she’s living?”

He shook his head sideways and closed his eyes. Priscilla could not leave his mind.

To Be Continued

Catch the final Episode tomorrow.
Drop your comments pls

>>

Aaj Bhi Bahut Sawal Hain Iss Dil Mein;

Pyaar Ka Gham Bejuban Hai Iss Dil Mein;

Kuch Keh Nahi Paata Yeh Dil Magar;

Uss Dil Ke Liye Aaj Bhi Pyaar Hai Iss Dil Mein!Related

Writer: OPAYEMI ABIODUN OLUSEGUN.
Title: MY STRANGE JOURNEY.
Part: 5.
They were like rice, her tongue looks smooth as
if she has no buds on its surface.
'You are welcome to this place', she continue
her speech. This place is time independent, no
sun, no moon, no star, no day, no night. We
neither experience year nor season here no
hunger no pain. She pinched my skin with her
finger, to my surprise I feel no pain at all, but
instead her hands feel cool to my body.
'Nothing like call of nature here. No food no
water no air. We only rest if we want, no
fatigue'.
I gave her a sign that I want to ask her a
question and she allowed me.
' Please, I want you to take me out of this room
and show me the environment, I will equally
like to know why I come here in the first
instance and the name of this place. I will be
happy to know why those houses I met on the
road were of mirror and why everything here
happened to be in a reverse order. I will love to know your name, your age, how long you have been here and ....... ' Shut up' she cuts-in in a thunderous voice ' Your request are too many, one request at a time. Why are you in hurry? You are to stay for 7 good earth days here ( I
guessed she use days for me to have an idea of how long I will stay with her)'. 'You will go to
seven different different places after I might
have shown you the environment here', she
added.

She also notified me that she is going to do an
operation for me in preparation for the visiting
of those seven place.

Hmmm, I don't know what to say or ask any
more, just opened my mouth, because of
surprise, fear and curiosity.......

What happen next ........ Watch out

>> Part 6 -

IN CLASS [Read it]


Pupils were asked to list three common diseases in class.

Sano wrote this:
1. Malaria
2.Cancer
3. /
Teacher: You Sano what is that?
Sano: It's stroke Madam!!!
What would you do if you were a teacher?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-09 22:34:01

548 Views




There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

~ Erma BombeckRelated

Continues..


Me:stop it stop begging me. I really want to
continue
my life back there. There I will know someone
who
will love me for who I am will find me. My endeavors
here in Nigeria is over. Miranda:please now
please(crying)
Preston:miranda leave her alone let her go back
to
her root. You have presley to take care of you. She is
such a w---e and now she wants to flirt after
being
raked. Even Belinda is more better off than her..
Hearing that brought me back to my senses I
hated being compared to someone. I lost control and gave
preston the hottest slap my right hand could
carry
Preston:what!!did you just slapped me?
Me:no I just rubbed your cheek. Say one more
stupid word out of that useless mouth and I will send
wrath
upon you tonight. Yes you are right I enjoyed the
rape..oh no my bad it was s-x actually. The
moans
and groans were just too exciting. Guess what… His
hangings were just the right pace I needed. His
manhood was even more strong and larger than
yours. He was a great sexist more better than
you in
bed. So stop making jest of your pathetic self and go home to meet your spoilt brat.(he was
speechless I
could see jealousy and anger in his eyes. I faced
miranda)
Me:Miranda don’t worry I will stay here till we
graduate. She was so happy she hugged
Preston:hahahahahha whoooaaah look at your
face
preston its going to explode. Man!she got you!
What a
blast. Enter the car joor I want to go home or wont
you follow me to go and meet your girlfriend eh?
preston I want to go o.
I and miranda entered the house and they drove
out and left. I felt more like a winner. I and
miranda did a lot of discussing and so on we ate, bathe and
went to
bed.
I kept having nightmares of the rape but I
managed to
sleep that night. The next day I couldn’t go to lecture
so I stayed at home. I had to force miranda to go
because she was ready and determined to stay
with
me that day.
Miranda:are you sure of this? Me:yes I am so stop bothering yourself and leave
already.
Mirandakay o but don’t run away o! Me:funny
but I won’t do that I gave you my word
when I said I was staying
Mirandakay. See you later. She pecked me and left. I went straight to bed
and
dozed off. Soon the door was shaking because
some
one was knocking the life out of it. I was scared
now but I still decided to open if. I opened the door and I
heard a female voice
Cassey: what a nice hideout you have got here.
Me:what are you doing here and how did you
know
my House? Cassey: hmmm forget about that jamb question.
As far as the p.p and b.b knows this house, then
the entire
campus knows it as well(she slapped me)
Me:how dare you! What was that for?
Cassey:for letting my boyfriend break up with me and
for sleeping with him as well
Me:your boyfriend actually raped me so what
are you saying?
Cassey:stop lying you s--t!I know you seduced
him with your tiny evil Satan dedicated body and you
are
going to pay for it!
Me:really?how?
Cassey:just watch us those girls who saved you
before aren’t here remember? Me:now let’s see about that(I quickly reached
out for
the button and presses it).


To be continued after comments..


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Teenage Love. [Read it]


**PART ONE**
CHAPTER 1…….
It was a bright saturday morning
on the 7th of september 2013.
Akinola oluwasegun was walking
along a popular street in Ibadan,
Oyo state. He was dressed in a
white T-shirt and a black pant
trouser and a black vickers shoe.
He was on his way to Loyola
College, a government owned
secondary school around Agodi
gate GRA Ibadan for his WAEC GCE
exam.
He entered into the school
compound and walked towards
the school building. Being his
first paper English Language, he
had no idea of where the
examination hall was situated.
So, he had to ask for help from
other candidates who had come
the previous days for chemistry
practicals and Commerce. He
walked up to a girl seated on the
staircase reading to ask for the
help.
“Hello, good morning.” he
greeted.
“Good morning.” she replied.
“Please, are you here for exam?”
he asked.
“Yeah.” she replied.
“Okay. Please, which way is the
examination hall.” He asked.
“I don’t know. This is my first
time here.” She answered.
(disappointed) “Okay, lets ask
others the way to the exam hall.”
He adviced.
“Okay.” She replied standing up
and dusting her skirt.
*TEN MINUTES LATER*
The invigillator walked into the
exam hall carrying a green sack
with the inscription; WEST
AFRICAN EXAMINATION COUNCIL.
No 62. He was accompanied by
five teachers of the school.
A laptop was removed and with
a thumb printing device attached
to it.
“Line up for your biometrics.”
one of the teachers barked.
After the completion of the
biometrics. The candidates were
asked to sit down according to
their numbers. The answer
booklets and the question
papers were first distributed
before the attendance was
marked. The paper lasted two
and a half hours. The paper
ended by 11:30am and they
were given 3hours break before
the commencement of the paper
2&3(objectives & the Test of
Orals respectively).
Outside the examination hall,
students were seen in group,
some in fours, in fives and so on
discussing and arguing over the
just concluded paper.
Oluwasegun(segun for short)
wast sitting alone under a big
three near the school football
pitch. He was flipping through
the pages of the WAEC English
language past question. Just then
someone tapped him from
behind. He looked up and saw
his cousin Omolayo Akinola.
He stood up and hugged her.
“What are you doing here?” he
asked.
“I came to greet my friends
writing their exam here. She
answered.
“Where is your centre?”
“Ikolaba grammar school.”she
replied.
“Most of my friends are in that
centre.”he said.
“Are you the only one here?” she
asked.
“Yes, am the only one here from
my school.”he answered.
“You must be feeling lonely
o.”she said.
“Yeah”………
The gisted for like ten minutes
before Omolayo stood up to go,
“Let me introduce you to my
friends over there.” she said
pointing to a group of 2 boys
and 4 girls gisting.
He stood up and followed her
towards the group. Immediately
they saw them approach they
stopped talking.
“Where have you been? One of
her friends jummy asked
Omolayo suspiciously.
Ignoring her question. “Meet my
cousin, Segun. Segun meet my
friends.” she introduced.
“Hi guys.” he greeted.
“Hi.” They chorused.
They all hung around till it was
1:30pm, 30minutes before the
next paper.
“Bro, i think we should get going
so, we won’t be late.” Omolayo
said.
“Alright, bye. Segun answered.
Omolayo left with four of her
friends remaining two who were
also in segun’s centre. Among
which was Jummy.
–to be continued–


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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rich man [Read it]


A rich man is not a man who have money
in the Bank.... a rich Man is a man who is
full of wisdom. To no what to do at the
right time.. So money is not every thing in
life..


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-28 00:52:49

89 Views




Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest.
Here are some sleeping pills to be taken.Wife: Doctor, when should I give pills to him?
Doctor: Those pills are for you.!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-31 08:21:07

659 Views




Hookers aren’t the ones who’ll fuck you for money…

.

..



….

they’re just the only ones honest enough to acknowledge it!Related

Remember [Read it]


Always Remember, the you in you makes the you you are.
Meaning.
You are the only person who can make yourself great and can also mar yourself



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Akpos two legs [Read it]


Akpos approached his dad and said,
Daddy can i take your car out today?
He asked, Why? What are your two legs for?
Akpos replied, One for throttle and brake,
the other, for the clutch.

one word for Akpos



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-09 06:18:13

326 Views




Akpos when into an exam hall without ready his books. But when he received the question paper, he was relieved to find out that it was a True or False exam. Immediately, he put his hands into his pocket and pulled out a coin. Each time he flipped the coin he would write down an answer. "What are you doing?" the supervisor asked him. "I`m figuring out the answers," Akpos replied. To this, the supervisor just rolled his eyes and looked away. Few minute Akpos was done he went to submit his papers but the supervisor asked him to still keep it. Few more minute later the supervisor shouted "5 min to go". Akpos was sweating flipping the coin in a confused manner. Supervisor: Akpos why are u sweating I thought u had finish Akpos: Sir am trying to cross check my ans but none of them seems to be correct


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-05 23:18:06

13698 Views




Teacher saw akpors looking down at d exam hall and following hapen TEACHER:akpors wot are u doing u are copying i will minus ten mark frome ur mark now AKPORS:wu tell u say i dey copy no b question 9 say study d table below


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-20 00:21:16

466 Views




TRUTH!!!CALM DOWN....DIS family wont kil me...
Papa Akpos :- My pikin say you drive am commot
for school,
Wetin he do
Akpos’ Teacher :- Your son no know book at all,
He no fit spell ” LION ”
Papa Akpos :- Ah Ah…You know say na SMALL
pikin……You for
tell am make he spell SMALL ANIMAL like ”
MOSQUITO... #pls copy this link and browse to like & share this page www.facebook.com/9jastudentforum


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-03 00:16:08

744 Views




WhatsApp: 2347060981481
Email: [email protected] gmail.com
Author: VictVames

They placed a small table across my waist and put the food on top. A tumbler was filled with yoghurt.
Mum: Take **giving me a spoon** start eating. Make sure u eat a lot, lemme go and close the shop. I will be back soon.
Me: Ok ma
Mum: And your medicines, make sure u take them accordingly ok?
Me: Yes ma
Mum: Please uhmmm… is it errmmm Miracle?
Mirabel: Mirabel ma
Mum: Ok Mirabel, please help me look after him
Mirabel: I will ma
Mum: Help me make sure he eats well because he hates food whenever he’s not feeling well, and please make him take his medicines accordingly
Mirabel: Okay ma
Mum: Thank u very much. Oya Nancy let’s go
Nancy: Mummy…
Mum: Come on!
Nancy: **she starts doing that child-like angry attitude and walked out**
Mum: Ok till i come back
Mirabel: Okay ma
Mum: Victor eat well oh…
I didn’t say anything, she left.
Mirabel: What happened to u sweetheart?
Me: U said your Dad saw the video, do u know what that means?
Mirabel: Wait, what? I never said such
Me: U answered yeah when i asked u
Mirabel: Oh (laughs) I said where not yea, Like where would he have seen it
Me: U mean he hasn’t seen it?
Mirabel: Yeah
Me: But news as such should’ve gotten to him
Mirabel: Not if something has been done
Me: How do u mean?
Mirabel: Don’t worry, eat first we’d talk about that later. Go on, eat
I start pretending like i’m not interested in the food. Well its like that for sick people, buh am i really sick? I’m just weak. I still couldn’t help but pretend.
Mirabel: Eat dear, don’t u want to get better? Its your favourite… oya eat for me, for my sake please… see yoghurt, u can drink as much as u like,,, come on start eating already
My mind sweet me eh….. i dip the spoon into the rice, fetched out small of it and ate
Mirabel: There u go, try it again or should i feed u?
I took my yoghurt and sipped it like i was drinking a bitter herbal medicine. Mirabel supported my hand to make it flow more into my mouth, i tried to decline but she persisted and i really enjoyed it,,, just pretence. After finishing it, i looked like a baby that was just fed.
Mirabel: Excuse me lemme use the rest room
I nodded in agreement. As soon as she closed the door behind her, i grabbed the hollandia and start sucking it from its container.
The door just burst open
Mirabel: Gotchaa!!
I freezed immediately with my eyes wide opened facing her speechlessly. She caught me!!
Mirabel: I knew it! That nothing can make u avoid hollandia yoghurt no matter what.
I didn’t know what to say or do, i slowly dropped the yoghurt
Mirabel: Hhmmm… do u have anything to say?
Me: Sorry…?
Mirabel: Good! U know what to do now
So jeje i started eating my rice, the chicken was so many. I ate and drank as much as i could before i retired. Mirabel gave me the medicines which i took.
Mirabel: How do u feel now?
Me: Hhmmm… **forming sick**
Mirabel: Talk jare!!
The shout shocked me. Seems like Mirabel don’t take nonsense oh…
Me: I feel much better now, thanks dear (I humbled myself)
Mirabel: Did u enjoyed the meal?
Me: Yes it was good, uhmm… why were u smiling when u were putting the food on the plate for me?
Mirabel: *laughs* I saw how u were swallowing your saliva on seeing it
Me: No i didn’t
Mirabel: Yes u did, U didn’t ke. Tell that to the gods
**The Doctor and a Nurse walks in**
Doctor: How u feeling now Victor?
Me: Better sir
Doctor: Okay, lemme see…
He examined me.
Doctor: Ok good
He collected a paper from the nurse and wrote down some things.
Mirabel: How is he Doctor?
Doctor: He is okay now, I will discharged him immediately the bills get settled. Where is his mother?
Mirabel: She’s not around buh i can take care of it
Doctor: Ok lets go
Mirabel: I’m coming Victor
Me: Ok
She came back some minutes later
Mirabel: Time to go, you’ve been discharged
Me: Thanks sweetheart, u are dah best
Mirabel: And you’re so welcome my love
Me: Hhmmm… can i get, U know **touching my lips** I miss it like crazy
Mirabel: No u can’t
Me: Please….
Mirabel: No! **arranging my stuffs**
Me: But why?
Mirabel: U pretended not wanting to eat and drink ‘coz you’re ‘sick’, so,,, why don’t u wait till u get better before u get ‘this’ **giving me a sharp kiss**
Me: But i’m fine now that’s why i’m being discharged
Mirabel: I don’t care
Me: Babe…?
Mirabel: Yea?
Me: Come on
Mirabel: No no no no
Me: Why?
Mirabel: That’s what u get for pretending,,, I don’t like pretence, not even from u. So beat it
Me: Arrghh!! **I fell back on to the bed and unintentionally hit my head against the steel frame of the bed**
Aishh!!
Mirabel: Oh my god! What happened?
I was holding my head in pain
Mirabel: Sorry dear, i’m coming lemme call the Doctor
Me: No!
Mirabel: Why?
Me: I don’t need the Doctor
Mirabel: Then what do u want me to do? U are in pain
Me: Kiss! I want kisses from u, arrghh
Mirabel: What?
Me: Aish! Kiss oh… kiss kiss kiss please kiss
Mirabel: Ok! Alright calm down
She kissed me for like 3 seconds
Mirabel: Alright that’s enough
Me: No, more more more… my head oh… please more
She kissed me again, this time i grabbed her so she won’t escape, she tried to get off but i held her tight until she gave in and responded, we then kissed passionately. We continued until the door burst open bringing in my momma.
We disengaged immediately.
TO BE CONTINUED>>>


>>

Prayer Request [Read it]


Akpos has been Praying for God's favor. One Day
God appeared to Akpos And Asked, What Do you
Need. Akpos:, i Need a Job, a Big Car And Girls
All Around Me. Sometimes Later, Akpos became a Bus Driver In a Female School. Do You Think God
Answered Akpos's Prayer?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-17 09:01:47

268 Views




Loveth: i have nothing to say to you
Luke: so you think(she turn to leave)tell me why did you play with my heart
Loveth: i did nothing to you;you that claimed you love me;i wasn't even gone for a year before you get married and have a child
Luke: you are a selfish girl;you got married and you don't want me to be happy
Loveth: that is why?i said you don't love me;i gave you all my heart and you break it
Luke: you hurt me deeply;i wanted to know why you left and i did nothing to you
Loveth: why?so we can continue
Luke: i am not a flirt and i don't love you any more
Loveth: superman
Luke: stop it my name is not superman
Loveth: fine (he saw blood gather at the side of her eyes as a result of Jude slapped)
Luke: did he hurt you?
Loveth: what kind of silly question is that?why will my husband hurt me?
Luke: fine;go on and defend him;i was just asking
Loveth: is not like you care;if he hit me or not
Luke: i do care(he dragged her and she fall on him and he held her)
Loveth: let me go
Ruth: dad(he clear his throat)
Luke: baby;you didn't sleep again
Ruth: no;ma did you keep dad company
Loveth: can i go now?
Luke: of cause(she walked away)baby
Ruth: dad;why did you hold her?
Luke: baby....um....uh.....
Ruth: dad you are not saying anything
Luke: baby;we were just talking and...
Ruth: she want to fall
Luke: yes baby
Ruth: alright
Luke: Love;promise you wont tell mother what happen?
Ruth: why?
Luke: she will think your friend is sick
Ruth: alright and she can't take inject because she is afraid
Luke: yes dear
Ruth: alright dad;come on lets go and eat
Luke: after you(curtain)


Vivian: Darling;how are you?
Darling: i am cool
Vivian: since that silly girl travel we have not really have funny together
Darling: yes;i heard she is back
Vivian: really?
Darling: yes;i got it from a reliable source
Vivian: then we should pay her a visit
Darling: do you know her house?what if she decided to ignore us
Vivian: you are right;i don't want to get humiliated
Darling: you see;i don't want to be insulted oh
Vivian: lets go shopping
Darling: yes(curtain)


Loveth: welcome dad
Lucas: thank you my daughter(enter Luke)my son
Luke: welcome sir
Lucas: i want to talk to you
Luke: what about(Lucas sit on his chair)go on
Lucas: i want to plead for your forgiveness
Luke: i am not God that forgive
Lucas: you beg for forgiveness from God every time but you just cant forgive me
Luke: do you know what you did?you hurt my mom and anyone that hurt my mom;have invited the wrath of a tiger and because you hurt my mom,i hate you(he clenched his fist)i could kill for my mother;i can joke with anything but not with my mom and those i love.
Lucas: son
Luke: don't you dare call me that(he walked towards him with more anger and hatred with his clenched fist)you know nothing about being a father you are dead to me(as he draw close to him;his father was very scared)i hate you
Loveth: superman(Loveth screamed out and he pause)do you want to hurt him?(he withdrew and walked out)sir;are you hurt?
Lucas: no i am not,just go after my son
Loveth: what?
Lucas: i don't want him to get hurt himself. please
Loveth: fine
Lucas: thank(back to Luke)
Luke: what is it?
Loveth: i know how it feels for someone to hurt you
Luke: you know nothing about me;i was still in my mom's womb when this monster of man kept beating up my mom and when i finally came out he did not stop hurt my mom and when i fell sick;he says he had no money for me because he feel nothing for me. i grow up without a father and every time my mate celebrate father's day;i just sit and mob because my dad killed himself. i hard a terrible childhood because people call me bastard,no one want to mingle with me because i don't know my father and after thirty three long year he suffice from nowhere and tell me;he is my dad
Loveth: i am sorry;i didn't know it was that bad(he hugged her)i am sorry(she pull herself from him)just take it easy(she stared at his eyes)i am sorry(enter maid)
Maid: what is madam doing with big madam husband's son
Luke: thank you(he almost kissed her)i am sorry
Maid: ma Loveth is kissing someone husband
Loveth: excuse me(he turned to leave but he drag her back)what is it?
Luke: can we still be friends(she want to say something but he used his hand to block her lips)don't say no please
Loveth: fine;thank you for forgiving me(she hugged him and the maid snap them)
Maid: this two people;have no shame at all. let me go before they sees me(exit Maid)
Loveth: superman
Luke: call me .....
Joan: dear i have been looking for you
Luke: sorry;i was just talking to Loveth
Joan: alright;shall we(they walked away)
Loveth: he wanted to tell me his name but it is fruitless. i will still get it(curtain)



Jude: where is my wife?
Maid: do you have wife sir?
Jude: are you sick?
Maid: alright sir;i thought you are refer to your brother mistress or concubine
Jude: are you okay?
Maid: yes sir;i am not sick
Jude: just get out(he walked away)
Maid: you are not the main person;i want to use it for;so i am not showing you(enter Luke)sir;you need anything
Luke: i was looking for my baby
Maid: oh!she is not here
Luke: alright;thanks
Maid: so sweet;i cant wait to used this evidence of mine against you(curtain)


Liz: Lucas;why are you breathing fast?
Lucas: i think my blood pressure is increase;i.....(he collapse)
Liz: somebody help me(they all to his room)your dad is dying
Jude: what?
Luke: excuse me(he try to relieve him)
Jude: what is wrong with him?
Luke: he will be fine(he regain consciousness)
Lucas: son
Luke: dad(the first time he called him dad)are you alright?
Lucas: i am fine;thank you my son
Jude: dad
Lucas: yes;thank you too son(he hugged both of them)i love you both
Loveth: excuse me(she went to her room to get her phone)
Luke: you will be fine;just try to relax and think less
Lucas: i will;Jude;i am glad you are here
Luke: excuse me(he walked away and hit Loveth carrying a plate of cookies)sorry
Loveth: is okay
Luke: do you still eat that?
Loveth: of cause;do you want
Luke: sure(he collect and eat)although i stop eating it(the maid walked in and see them again)
Loveth: why?
Luke: when i lost you?
Maid: oh my ear;this two are really crazy
Loveth: don't be ridiculous
Luke: come with me(he dragged her)
Loveth: where are taking me?
Luke: don't worry it wouldn't take long;we will be back before we know it
Loveth: alright(he went into one hut inside the compound the maid fellow them but stood outside)what are we doing here?how did you fine this?
Luke: i want to tell you something
Loveth: whats that?(he draw closer to her)superman;please don't do anything stupid
Luke: are you okay?
Loveth: yes(he draw closer)Superman;stop
Luke: will you stop being annoying;just let me do what i want to do
Loveth: alright fine(she tighten her eyes as he draw closer)
Luke: this girl is crazy(he wear her a necklace but her eyes are still shut and he touch her lips and screamed)you are really crazy;i don't have any plan of doing that;unless you want me to. you are good at stealing kisses right?
Loveth: will stop;i was drunk and i barely know what i was doing
Luke: be sincere;you like me at the first day.....(the Maid step on something and make noise)who is there?
Loveth: come on lets go
Luke: why?are you scared?
Loveth: i am not but lets just go
Luke: fine(she stood to walk and she missed her step)
Loveth: my ankle(she screamed)
Luke: are you alright
Loveth: i cant move my leg
Luke: let me help you out
Loveth: what(he carried up)will you stop it(the maid run back)stop it
Luke: you cant walk;i am helping you out(as they walked towards the house he notice someone stand outside)what is going on?who is there?
Loveth: superman drop me(he refused and walked towards them)i say drop me(it was the maid)what are you doing outside
Maid: nothing ma
Loveth: did anyone look for me?
Maid: no(Luke drop her and she struggle with her feet inside)sir you are enjoying oh!
Luke: what is that?
Maid: nothing(she walked away)
Luke: what is wrong with this girl?(curtain)
Loveth: Jude
Jude: yes;why are you leaping
Loveth: i missed my ankle(he draw closer to her and perceive his brother perfume on her)
Jude: did you go close to him
Loveth: close to who?
Jude: you have being flirt with him
Loveth: no
Jude: then why you smelling him(she remember he carried her)go on answer me
Loveth: um....uh...
Jude: you bitch(he pushed her to the bed and hit her continuously)is like you have forgotten;i can still kill him even if he is my brother
Loveth: Jude;please stop it
Jude: i should stop
Loveth: yes(his mom hit the door)
Liz: is there any problem
Jude: no mom
Liz: alright;go to bed
Jude: good night(exit Liz)just thank your stars(he walked away)
Loveth: i am sorry Jude(she cried)forgive me(curtain)



SEE MORE...


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Sattar (70) Saal Ka Budda Apne Doctor Dost Se Bola.

Budda: “Main Aaj Bhi xx Karne Mein 1 Ghanta, 40 Minute, 15 Second Lagata Hoon”

Doctor Hairaan Ho Kar Bola: “Kaise ?”

Budda Bola: “40 Minute Khada Karne Mein, 15 Second Dhakka Marne Ko Aur 1 Ghanta XX Karne Ke Baad Hosh Main Aane Ko“Related

80-year old man asked his wife "Honey do you get jealous when i chase small girls?"
"No! sweety, even dogs chase after cars but they don't drive it."



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-03 07:51:24

668 Views




Continues..


In not more than 20secs Melissa and the girls
were
walking towards us gallantly from my behind
and
finally stood at my front facing cassey and her
group Melissa:sorry miss. Are you lost?or do you have
a problem with our mistress?
Cassey:if you don’t want to get hurt then leave
this
place
Melissa:are you scared? If you don’t want to die then I
would advice you to leave this premises but if
you
insist on staying then you have to deal with us
first before our mistress
Cassey: it will be our pleasure. Girls let the fight begin.
Fight any soul standing before us!!.
The fight start started. Melissa really did a good
job in
punching Cassey’s face which got her mouth
bleeding. The rest girls were just like skeletons in front of
my girls. Only cassey had the strength to fight off
four lazy
girls at once but melissa was no lazy girl. She
was
more stronger than four girls together. My girls won
over them and they lied helplessly on the floor.
Melissa:hmmm I hope you are alright?
Me:yeah I am fine and you Melissa:always fine.
You haven’t been checking or
calling us to check up on you or to check up on us. I
hope you haven’t in any way forgotten about
us?
Mef course not. I switched off my phone
because
someone was disturbing me Melissakay but are you really fine? Me:yeah
why?
Melissa:you look pale(she examined me)you look
like
someone who suffered under something and
cried a lot but since you said you are fine, its okay.
As they were about carrying cassey’s girls out
of the
sitting room, we heard a gunshot and the last
thing I heard was “you b---h” as I landed on
the floor. The gunshot was directed at me and it went straight
into
my belly.I saw blank as I fell down.
I was lucky to have opened my eyes but in the
hospital weak. I saw Miranda sitting on the bed
with me with a swollen eyes next to her was melissa
who stood Like a vigilante. At the chair almost at
the door I
saw Presley sitting
Me:hi (in a low and weak tone)
Miranda:OMG she’s awake(calling everyone’s attention in the room) Milly are you okay?do you
feel
pains? Me:I am fine miranda. You cry too much
Miranda:why won’t I worry about when you
have
been in this room for three days without putting anything in your mouth and without moving your
body?
Me:three days? But its okay I am fine. Melissa
what about you?
Melissa:yeah I am fine. As for cassey she is also
battling with her life right now and I haven’t told your
dad so save your energy I guess I have
answered
your questions.
Me:thanks and please don’t inform my dad
Melissaf course not I won’t Presley:are you sure your house is safe for you?
Me:why not presley?
Presley:because bad things have been
happening to
you lately in that house
Me:so what are you suggesting I do? Presley:I want you and miranda to stay in the p.p
house
Me:hell no!Preston will think I used it as a
medium to
see him everyday. I don’t want to
Presley:forget about Presley. Forget he even exist. He
is so obsessed with that girl. Me: and I don’t
want to get hurt everyday
Presley:just pretend to be happy always and
move on
with your life it will make him more jealous since he is
the jealous type
Me:what about my sisters?
Presley:as for the nobles,they can come visit you
anytime and you can call them anytime.
Mekay but… Presley:no buts will you stop being stubborn for
once?
I can’t watch Miranda suffer like this and its all
because of you. I can’t also watch you be like
this
when I know its because of Preston and I also supported you date Preston. So please for once
make
yourself a good choice that will benefit you and
those
around you.
Mekay. I hope everything works out fine.

To be continued..


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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'Pls laugh a little

ANGELS: Father! We are tired of these Nigerians
in heaven.
GOD: What have they done this time?
ANGEL: Everything! They don't listen to
instructions They don't obey traffic rules. They
don't wait for
their turn in anything. They are completely
reckless! (Exasperated) In fact they have made
heaven a living hell since they got here.
GOD: Then we better send them to hell!
(Calls the Devil). Hello..
SATAN: Hello my creator and master, pls call me
later. There's an issue I'm trying to resolve.
Ten (10) minutes later:
GOD: Hello Lucifer.
SATAN: Ur worship my father! I'll call you back.
The issue has turned into a crisis.
An hour later:
SATAN: Hello?
GOD: What's going on over there?
SATAN: It's the Nigerians I have with me in hell!
(He stammers), they... they... they have
quenched the fire in hell and installed air
conditioners!.....


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-13 23:08:39

586 Views




Ledan narrates..

We got to the hospital in no time, it was the same Group Medical Hospital where Ele was born. Imabong and i rushed to the counter and made enquiries where we were subsequent my directed to room 27.

As we were heading to be the specified room, I heard a familiar voice calling me from behind, I turned to look and saw the devil reincarnate himself, Akande.

Akande ran to me and hugged me tightly, it was so disgusting, I felt like slapping him then but I had to compose my self.

“Akande, you son of a gun!, where have thou been?”, I asked trying hard to fake a smile.

“Ledan Ledan, Ledan my long lost friend, I really missed you so much, where have you been?”, the devil himself asked.

“I’ve been around, its you that left us without leaving any messages behind”, I countered, “please I’m a hurry, I have to go see my son”, I told Akande who also told me he came to see his daughter. I exchanged contacts with him and we bid each offer bye and headed our way.

Akande followed suit and we both arrived at the door of Room 27.

“You mean your daughter is also here”, I asked a surprised Akande.

“Yes!, maybe fate used this to bring us together”, Akande said smiling.

“May God punish that your mouth ten times daily for saying Fate used an hospital to connect me to a devilish entity”, I cursed inwardly while smiling mischievously at Akande.

We went inside and a fair complexioned girl of about Ele’s age shouted “daddy” before running to hug Akande, it was so clear that was his daughter because she wasn’t really different from Medina.

“How are you my lovely daughter”, Akande asked grinning.

“As you can see dad, I’m okay and I’ve called the boy’s parents , they should be here any moment from now”, Akande’s daughter explained.

“Which boy?, were you the girl that called me?”, I asked the young girl back to back questions.

“Daddy!”, I turned my face to locate the direction of the voice and saw my son Ele.

“What is happening here? My son and Akande’s daughter? Fate is a b---h!”, I thought.

———————————————–
Ele narrates

If anyone had told me two weeks ago that i would date one of the most pretty and hottest babe in Ibadan, I would have told that person to go for check up. But its up to me now to start doing those things that will keep her with me for life. And the so-called heart code, I’ll decipher

*************************
Khadija narrates

I knocked at the gate of Ele’s house. I was already a familiar visitor as I visited frequently since when I first approached Ele to assist him. The gate man who was fairly old came to open the gate, he smiled on seeing him since he knows very well he will receive cash gifts from me and as usual, I put 500 naira in his hands. He was so grateful. His joy knew know bounds as he thought of the hot drinks he will consume that night. I went straight to the door and knocked without getting replies, I then proceeded to the adjacent part of the house to peep through the window to see if I could site someone.

As I got to the window, I heard sounds from the backyard, I went to check who it was maybe Ele was there after all. As I got there, I heard that word “kill”, I stopped abruptly.

I wanted to run away but on a second thought stayed behind. I then tiptoed and took cover at the wall before the balcony and peeped. To my shock and chagrin I saw Ele’s father.

“Yes, I want you to kill someone for me, I’ll pay you handsomely, yes…no…its just a school girl…I want it done before this week runs out, meet me later at that place for her pics and further details..her name is Lia!”, Ele’s dad was saying on phone.

I opened my eyes wild at the mention of Lia, just then I mistakenly hit a metal, before I could regain myself I had let out a slight scream which made Ele’s dad quickly turn and asked “what are you doing there?”, with such a threatening look I’ve never seen before.

“I heard everything you said, I already recorded it and if anything happens to me now, the phone has been automatically programmed to send it to my friends”, I tried to be as confident as possible though deep inner fear had made me pee on my pants.

“Are you threatening me?”, Ele’s dad asked.

“No, we both want the same thing, I don’t know what Lia took from you but she also stole something from me, so we have a common enemy”, I explained my confidence level increasing.

“So what do you intend doing”, he asked me again.

“I don’t intend killing her because she’s my best friend, I still got some loyalty you know, give me two weeks and if I don’t separate her from your son which I think you want, I’ll poison her myself”, I said confidently.

“Two weeks is too long, make it one week”, he protested.

“Alright! One week it is!”, I said like a confident she-devil.

“Why should I trust you and know you ain’t setting me up?”, Ele’s dad asked suspiciously.

“The enemy of my enemy is my friend”, I said smirking my face because I knew I had something else in my, I’ll use the father to get the son.

*************************
Imabong narrates

“Thank you Jesus
Thank you Father
Thank you my Redeemer
Thank you for answering our prayers
In Jesus wonderful name we have prayed”,
Pastor said.

“Amen!”, We both chorused.

“Ima my daughter”, pastor called.

“Yes pastor”, your case is critical.

“Pastor, that’s why im here, please help me”, I pleaded.

“Your husband isn’t at fault at all, there’s a popular saying that “without any enemy from within, no enemy from without can succeed”, pastor said throwing me to a state of confusion. “Pastor, please stop talking in parables and make me understand”, I pleaded again.

“Your husband is being monitored by a witch in his father’s family, he’s destined to be a great man but a member of his family doesn’t like it and as a result become monitoring spirit making him have a near success syndrome, that is whenever he wants to do something good, they make him become wayward and lukewarm”, pastor explained.

“Oh pastor, so that’s the reason I’ve be suffering all these years of marriage?”, I asks rhetorically.

“That’s not the problem madam, your husband is about to harm the only person who could save your son, you have to stop it my daughter”, pastor revealed.

“Jesus Christ!, I’m doomed! How do I save my son pastor?”, I asked already crying profusely.

“All you have to do is embark on seven days dry fasting and prayer and your prayers will surely be answered, I’ll also join you and please stop crying”, pastor pleaded with me.

“Pastor, will my son really be saved through that? Will my Ele be saved?”, I asked what doubting pastor just said.

“Why do you doubt God?, you were just instructed to fast for seven days and nothing more, why do you prefer an herbalist who would require to buy things, drop amount of money and maybe walk naked at night, why can’t you put your faith in God, Jesus said “of your faith is as small as a mustard seed, you could move mountain”?, so why worry”, pastor blurted out then continued by singing a popular Christian song...


“why can’t you just pray
Why worry
Why can’t you just keep trusting in Jesus
Why worry worry worry
Don’t be a doubting Thomas
Just lean upon his promise
Why worry worry..

I joined pastor in singing

Don’t be a doubting Thomas, just lean upon his promise why worry...

************************
Medinat Narrates

I was walking with Lia on our street at night chatting and having gists about the day in general when a car suddenly stopped beside us, a man came out and spray some kinda powder and we became unconscious. I woke up a forest in the middle of nowhere, I tried to tap Lia, since our mouth was sealed with a tape, and our legs and hands were incapacitated, Lia woke up with a sneeze, there we saw two people, a girl of about Lia’s age and a middle age man both laughing hysterically. Our eyes begged pleadingly, but they only laughed the more. Suddenly, the girl stood up, and dragged my daughter to a hole, and with a smirked face threw my Lia into the abyss,while she laughed out loud continuously like a possessed demon, why I could only muffle sounds helplessly as years streamed down my eyes.

The man came to me and said, blame yourselves for your daughter fate as he burst into a seemingly unending laughter.

I woke up with a very loud scream waking Akande up. “What’s wrong dear”, my hubby asked.

“I had another nightmare about Lia, this one looks so scary and real, we need to see Alpha Sulu tomorrow”, I said still shivering whole my hubby hugged me to calm my nerves.

>>


*****EPISODE 13****ADVENTURE OF AYOMIDE***

Hmmmm,my first visit was really
Very funfilled,they all really treat me well
she have really talk much about me for
Her friends,I think she have already told
them all about all those things I buy for
her,we really go out to lots of places
together,but I think she prefer QUEEN'S
COURT at ADO-Ekiti the state capital but
girls self ehn,why she go dey talk about
everything between us with her greedy
friends,I swear this girls are really
materialistic but me also I no carry
last sha,I get the material wey they need,
Na wetin remain?,,,no be give and take
game remains...
During my first visit,I got to know the
3 girls very well,now am in the midst of
People who can be seen as a big sisters
to me,but dey never send o,since I don
dey date their friend,everything don
set,bolanle was the talkative among them,
She loves talking a lot and we get closed
first,but not very close because I don't
want jealousy.
Bolanle could talk from morning till
Night,she told me about her stingy boy-
friend,come see how she dey spoil him
in my presence,I guess her guy no dey
Spend for her the way I spend for her
friend francisca
Na this bolanle I go enter first was
what I was thinking during our conversation,
after about 30minutes of talking with bolanle
My francisca enter,she was cooking during
those minutes I spend with her friend...
So I don't think she is unhappy with me
getting close to her friend because of her
Happy look,bolanle was also beautiful,she is
Shorter than Francisca...so I took my time
To examine the other girls...tomi and esther
Later come in to play with me and making
everywhere lively,I collected all their numbers
Separately,without the knowledge of my babe.
After leaving the place for my home,though
I spend a lot of hours with them,my mum
question why I was late and I told her some
rubbish lies,and I headed to my room to
started thinking about how to play my
Adventures,it was really my first time of
playing adventure with girls,that's how I turn
to an adventure boy...I really want revenge,
I can't forget how I was dumped by dolapo,na
So I come think about the game wey I go play
With francisca,esther,bolanle and tomilola...
It was really a though night,as I add everyone of them on whatsapp,the first person
I chat with is Bolanle because she is still the
Closest one out them all...so we talk in a friendly manner at first...
The following morning was february 11,just three days to valentine day,I already have plan
for bolanle,we never talk of dating,because I don't know how she will feel,dating a close friend of my francisca will really be tough,but
I plan not to woo her but will have my way into
Her,remember I never sex francisca.not because
I don't want to but I just feel like leaving her that way,their is feelings for her but I don't want to take my feelings serious this time,
because am scared of being dump once again...

>>

Ruth: dad;why are you sad?
Luke: nothing love
Ruth: no dad;you are not talking because you are sad. did grandpa do anything to you
Luke: love;sometimes adult are like that(enter Muriel)they get irritated and sad
Muriel: Luke
Luke: mom;what are...(she slapped him)mom;why did you slapped me?
Muriel: you want to bring disgrace to me
Luke: mom;i did nothing
Muriel: oh!so your wife is lying against you and the picture the maid snap was a make up one
Luke: mom;i don't know she get that but the fact is that i didn't do anything
Muriel: you didn't do anything but you were holding
Ruth: dad is it because you held ma Loveth?
Luke: baby please go to your room
Muriel: Luke did you do that in front of your daughter
Luke: mom i did nothing
Muriel: you are just like your father;you are a flirt
Luke: Mom;even you;you don't trust me(tears roll his eyes)even if anyone did not believe me;not you mom,not you(he walked away)
Muriel: son
Ruth: grandma;why is dad crying?
Muriel: don't worry your dad will be fine
Ruth: okay grandma(curtain)

Loveth: good day dad
Lucas: how are you?
Loveth: i am fine sir
Lucas: go get me my drugs(she left and return with his drugs)thank you(Loveth look towards Luke's room)they left
Loveth: dad;why did he leave?he would had stay;seeing him around gives me joy(she realised what she said and correction herself)what i meant is that;it will be better if he is around you. so he can take care of you
Lucas: Loveth;is it me,you are concern about?
Loveth: yes dad;i go ahead
Lucas: no problem(exit Loveth)i don't think that my son and Loveth just met and i will find out very soon(curtain)


Jude: Loveth;why is the dining not serve
Loveth: i was thinking that you wouldn't come till late in the day
Jude: even at that;must you wait till i come back
Loveth: i am sorry
Jude: sorry indeed(he stood to leave)
Loveth: i know you are hungry just have this juice and wait here i will done before you know it(she mistakenly pour it on him)sorry
Jude: how many times do i have to tell you,i don't like dirty on my wears. you are really tempting me but i am not falling for it(he walked away)
Loveth: that was close(curtain)

Alex: Luke;what is going on?
Luke: brother;everyone is against me
Alex: why?what did you do?your wife said you were.....
Luke: flirting with Loveth. yes i know i talked to Loveth,i hugged her and i was with her in the night but i just want to rekindle our friends
Alex: Luke
Luke: you still going to castigate me because Loveth is now my brother's wife
Alex: you have a brother
Luke: yes;from my dad's
Alex: how?how do you find out
Luke: i saw my dad after many years and the hatred i have for him just disappear
Alex: so you finally gave the man a chance to know you
Luke: i really don't want to but there is one feeling i have in me that long for him
Alex: Luke;them give him a chance
Luke: i want to but i can't because if i do;people will feel that i am doing it because i want to be with Loveth
Alex: Luke;you are like a brother to me and i will tell you the truth. if i were you,i will stay away from her,for peace to continue in your family
Luke: i will
Alex: i know its not easy for you but please be careful
Luke: thank you brother(curtain)

Joan: Ruth;come on;time for school
Ruth: mom;can we go with dad
Joan: no;he is busy(enter Luke)so shall we?
Ruth: dad;are you busy
Luke: no;why did you asked?
Ruth: is because i want you to ride with me to school
Luke: alright
Joan: baby;lets go
Luke: Joan;lets not be like that,i am sorry if i offend you
Joan: oh!so you don't know that you offended me?Ruth lets go
Luke: fine;i am sorry
Ruth: mom;please forgive dad
Joan: will you keep quiet
Luke: Joan;lets just make up now
Joan: alright but don't do it again
Luke: i promise
Ruth: lets go dad;i am getting late
Luke: alright love(curtain)

Lucas: Liz;where is my son?
Liz: here he comes
Liz: son
Jude: dad;what did you need?
Lucas: nothing;i was just so tire staying at home,been in this state is boring and it lack fun
Jude: dad;why don't we have an in house wedding
Liz: your dad doesn't need those stress
Jude: is not like a big party,we can invite just few friends and family
Liz: but(enter Loveth)
Loveth: good day sir
Lucas: how are you?
Loveth: fine
Jude: dad;please agree
Lucas: alright;just go ahead with the planning
Jude: thank you dad;Loveth you can start inviting your family and friends for the party
Loveth: what party?
Jude: we are have an in door party
Loveth: alright
Liz: when is it?
Jude: next weekend
Lucas: alright son
Jude: dad you can invite your son and his family
Lucas: you are right
Liz: will just call my friends
Loveth: i will invite my dad and mom
Jude: alright
Lucas: how much will you need
Jude: don't worry about that now
Lucas: alright
Loveth: Jude;i want to go the market
Jude: alright,take care(curtain)


Loveth: there are so many stuff to buy(at the supermarket)its really be long;everything is changing(enter Darling)i need to get my husband something
Darling: Loveth
Loveth: darling;look at you
Darling: i missed you
Loveth: i missed you too
Darling: you are a liar,if you did missed me;why didn't you invite us for your marriage?
Loveth: is a long story;that is by the way;where is Vivian?
Darling: she is fine
Loveth: i can wait to see her,please you two should to come to my house. we are having an in house party this weekend and please be there and this is my number
Darling: alright;i will tell her because we need a lot of catch up
Loveth: take care;i will go ahead
Darling: bye(curtain)



TO BE CONTINUE.....




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mad men [Read it]


Two idiots, dami and timi went to the market. While they were there, they each bought a horse. When they got home, they discussed how to differentiate between their horses. They decided to cut the tail off of one. That worked for a while, but soon the tail grew back, so they decided that they would break one of their horses legs. Then dami asked timi, which of the horses should we break the leg off, the brown or the white one?

Like our page on facebook for more: MC TOMEX COMEDIAN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-19 16:38:27

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EPISODE 16

He grunted and dug his hands into his hair and out. Damn! He smashed his glass against the counter. He looked like a demon in his mad state.

“Hey! Control yourself!” The waiter yelled at him.

He turned and glared at the waiter. His eyes were as cold as ice. His cold gaze sent shivers down the spine of anyone who’d see them. “What did you just say?” he snarled at the waiter who just scolded him.

The waiter trembled. His hands were shaking. “N-Nothing. Carry on. I’m sorry.” Fear could be detected from the way he spoke.

Unexpectedly, the angry man gripped the throat of the waiter. “Tell me the truth! You have never set eyes on her for the past nine years? She has never come for a drink or anything? If you don’t tell me the truth, I’ll murder you here and now!”

The waiter was not able to make a sound. He just held onto the man’s big hand struggling to free himself. He choked in the process, finding it very difficult to breathe. The angry man was stronger and tightened his grip on the waiter’s neck.

A group of persons observed what had been happening between the waiter, known as Nathan and the infuriated man. These persons were regular customers of the bar and knew Nathan. Sensing he was in trouble, they rushed to his rescue.

“What the fuck are you doing?” the first guy barked at the soon-to-be murderer.

His ears heard the voice that just spoke. He turned to face the guy. His hold on Nathan was released a bit, he hadn’t let go off him completely. He frowned as he examined him and the different guys with him.

“Let him go!” Another voice commanded.

He silently studied him. He was very hefty and muscular. He had a very wired look, strange and dangerous. He didn’t have to hear another command to free the waiter. They’d surely pounce on him if he refused. He tactfully let the waiter go. The waiter immediately began coughing, he tried to catch his breath.

“What was that for?” the first guy questioned.

“He has something I need!” he angrily replied.

“Oh, no. I don’t!” Nathan defended himself. “She hasn’t been here since that day. We’ve never set eyes on her ever since. I do not know her.” he coughed again. That was a deadly grip.

“She promised she would. You are lying.”

“To hell with you and her. Get the fuck outta here!” Nathan roared with anger.

The man filled with fury took a step towards Nathan. Expertly, the five guys that had earlier come to Nathan’s rescue, blocked him. “Leave. If you don’t want to say hello to your mama in hell to night, get lost!” a different guy challenged.

He wasn’t stupid. He knew when to retreat. He had been defeated and had lost. Surely, he’d never stop searching for this girl. He’d search till he dies. She was really precious. He smiled devilishly and dashed out of the bar. God! What on earth was happening to him? For a girl he had met only once, he’d been making a fool of himself. Nine years ago, he saw her and never caught a glimpse of her after that day. It never occurred to him that he wouldn’t see her again. Was she dead? Nine years. He didn’t even know her real name. She’d probably be married now with a kid or two. She wasn’t the marrying type, she’d never settle down. She had cried that night, telling him her deepest fears, of course; under the influence of alcohol. So beautiful, so angelic. Why had he believed her when she said she’d return the next day? Did her fear consume her? Why bother? He’d fallen in love with her and must bed her. She’s his.
*
*
*
Edwin was relaxing on the lounger under a parasol. He was close to the swimming pool dressed in just a white single and underwear. A stool was close to him, on it was a glass jug filled with orange juice. He’d stopped taking alcohol since he started having problems with his heart. He smiled lazily as he enjoyed the feel of the wind on his body.

When he sat up, he attempted to pour himself the orange juice from into the empty glass that stood by the jug. During the process, he heard heavy footsteps on the brick floor. Angry foot steps. He wondered what was going on, the angry man was coming his direction. He successfully filled his glass with the juice. He took it up and was about to take a sip.

“Father!” Jeremy cried out.

:::
Edwin was startled. The glass had missed his mouth and spilled on his singlet. This was bad. He dropped the glass quickly.
“Are you mad? Jeremy what is wrong? You see what you made me do? You really scared me. I don’t have a heart for that.”
Edwin cursed his son. He got mad at him. Without waiting for a response, he stood up from the lounger and made to leave.

“Father, I’m sorry,” Jeremy humbly apologised though, he couldn’t see the wrong he had done. He followed his father in.

Edwin didn’t turn to reply his son, he kept on moving. When they got into the living room, he turned to Jeremy.

“What is it?” he queried.

Jeremy stopped and scanned his father. He noticed the stain on his single and not only that, the man was not happy. He was wearing a sad look. He looked more older than his actual age. There was no joy in his eyes.
“Father, are you okay?” Jeremy enquired, he reached out for the old man. “You don’t seem to look good.”

Edwin backed off. “I’m fine. Now, tell me what you came for,” he demanded.

Something was going on with this man, Jeremy thought. He doesn’t sound okay. Hostility was in his voice and it was very rare for him to sound that way. “I’m not saying a thing till you tell me what’s wrong with you.”

Edwin sat on the couch and rubbed his head. “Remembered your mum and the good times we had together. I feel lonely.”

His father had just lied. Jeremy was sure that his father was hiding something. It’ll come out soon, but now he had to focus on what he came for. “You can remarry if its your wish.”

Edwin shot him a grave look.

Jeremy smirked. “Tricia was at my office.”

“I was never in support of your relationship with that girl.”

“Because of Purity, I guess.”

“So?”

“So you need to help me.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Tricia, she’s in love,” he bit his lips in disgust, “obsessed with me.”

Edwin sighed. “Aren’t you two over?”

He scratched his head. “We are. But she claims to still love me. She said she’d never let any other woman have me. I’ve never seen her that way. I am confused.”

“That’s a jealous woman’s talk.”

“And when women get jealous, world war three’s about to commence.”

Edwin laughed. “Its your problem. Deal with it.”

Jeremy walked over to his father and sat down with him. “Tricia isn’t all that bad. Talk to her, please. If she goes on this way, I’m sure she’d hurt me or Purity.” He wasn’t so concerned of himself, but Purity. He wouldn’t let anyone harm her and get away with it. She now had a place in his heart and he was gonna safeguard that place and her too. Using Purity, he was sure his father was going to act. He loved that girl.

“If its Purity you’re talking about, why don’t you see to this yourself?” Edwin asked showing no interest.

Jeremy frowned. “You insisted I marry her. If not that, do you think I’d be in this mess?”

“Aren’t you a grown man? Why don’t you admit it. You are getting to love Purity.”

Jeremy faked a cough. He smiled coyly. “What did you say?”

Edwin was bewildered at his son’s stupid question. “I know you heard me. I wonder why you’re always like this when I talk about love. Don’t you believe in it?”

“Sure, I do. Just don’t know. I’m still confused. Are you going to help me or not?”

Edwin shook his head.

“Its your Purity. Remember I’m filing for a divorce a year after the marriage. And I can still decide not to marry her now.”

“Emotional blackmail,” Edwin remarked laughing. “Have you told her?”


>>

In no time she got back home. As soon as she
opened the door leading to the living room, she
was stunned by shock upon seeing Kuu, Mansa
and the lady who claims that she is the biological
mother of Kuu. “What are you doing here woman? Mrs Amposah
who was already in a state of shock and
frustration
asked the lady. You're reading "Tears Of A
Bleeding Heart(MANSA) episode 30" for more
stories kindly click here www.facebook.com/ mrcouple4u. ” Seems you already know each other. This makes
it more easier then” Kuu said. He had begun
feeling hatred for Mrs Amposah for hiding all
these from him.
“Kuu, whatever she told you is a lie,”Mrs Amposah
said. “It’s a lie? How did you know that she had already
told me something, unless of course, there is
something you’re hiding from me. Perhaps you’re
not really my mother” Kuu said.
Mrs Amposah realised that she had already dug a
pit for herself that she couldn’t hide anything more.
“Look, before you begin yelling at me, you owe
me
a big gratitude. She may be your mother but i
have
raised you up all this while and i deserve an appreciation rather than you talking to me like
this” Mrs Amposah said.
“You really don’t know how it feels, do you? Of
course i am grateful to you for being there for me,
but the fact that i have lived under a lie for all this
years is what i can’t compromise” Kuu said. Mrs Amposah saw the rage in his voice so,
suddenly she busted out.
“Yes she is your mother for Christ sake, are you ok
now?” Mrs Amposah yielded and walked out on
them.
Mansa came behind Kuu and held his shoulder, giving him a gentle massage.
“Its alright Kuu, its alright” Mansa said.
Kuu’s mother immediately knelt on her knees and
begun asking for forgiveness from Kuu.
Kuu helped her up, looked straight into her eyes
and without saying anything, embraced her. It was an emotional moment where both of them
shed tears.
“Mum, lets go to my room, we need to talk more”
Kuu said.
“You should join us Mansa” Kuu said to her.
“No, this is the time you need to clear up things alone with your mother. I will be there when you
need me” Mansa said.
Kuu and his biological mother went to his room
to
catch up with old times.
It was about this moment, that the church board had a meeting. Mr Asare, the church’s financial
secretary, gave an account on the Church’s
financial position for the period of last six
months.
After the report, it was clear that the Church’s
money was being embezzled. Almost all withdrawals were made by Mrs Amposah without
any requisite receipt.
The board however decided to summon her for
an
immediate meeting.
Kuu on the other hand was getting along with his mother in his room. He was now beginning to
understand her and the actions she took many
years ago. She just didn’t have the money to take
care of him.
Kuu even had the opportunity to see his biological
father’s picture which her mother had brought along. Indeed he really looked like his father.
They got interrupted when Kuu had a phone call
from an unknown number.
“Meet me at ‘Eddys’ in 45 minutes” said the caller
and hanged up the phone.
Kuu had no idea of who that could be, but he had no option than to honor it.
“Mum, would you like to spend the night here?
Kuu
asked
“No, i won’t be safe here” She said.
“Oh, why won’t you be? Kuu asked “no one is capable of harming you”
“You really don’t know my son. I will go and
come
back tomorrow so we can talk more” She said.
“Lets go together, I’m on my way too” Kuu said
and they both left.
He alighted his mother at her house. The house
looked old and was uncompleted. His mother
indeed lived in poverty.
Kuu vowed to take care of her as a son should.
After taking her to the house, he went straight to Eddy’s and to his surprise, he saw Riri sitting on a
table of two.
The call came from Riri. Indeed, from where she
sat, she looked disturbed and worried. Kuu
wondered what Riri really wanted to tell him.
He then went and sat beside her. Without wasting anytime, Riri begun talking even without
welcoming him.
“Kuu, My name is Riri Delali, a professional nurse
and I’m responsible for the death of your father”
Riri revealed.
Watch out for final episode!


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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1.BOY:I like your teeth very much,
GIRL:Oh really,but why?
BOY:Becouse yellow is my favourite colour.

2.JAILER:Nobody come to meet you,don't you have any relative or friend?
PRISONER:I do but they are also locked up in different jails.

3.GIRLFRIEND:You are very rude all the time i was talking you kept yawning,
BOYFRIEND:I wasn't yawning,i was traying to say something,but u didn't let me.

4.TEACHER:Winnie,name one important thing that we have today that we didn't have ten years ago?
WINNIE:ME.

5.WIFE:U this man u brouth me here and starterd matrit me abi..!
HUSBAND:But i have told u sevratime now!
WIFE:Told me what?
HUSBAND:That i dont have enythinh in life esept u,in all the time of my love proposer,or did i told u?....!!!*


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-22 18:34:28

917 Views




Q: What did one ant say to the other while climbing up Prince Charles’ leg?

A: Meet you at the royal ball.Related

continues ......
For one week, I had not communicated with my guys and it was unusual and they didn’t call me. I tried their line but it wasn’t going through. I tried the one of G-money, all his
three numbers, non were going through. I called some of our friends we had in common to know if they are aware about there were abouts, but none could say exactly about their present location or anything about them. I went to their house and the doors were locked. Na so fear come dey catch me ooo. I kept on trying to see if I could get in touch with them. Even to Mapoly and the guys there said they haven’t heard from them for a while. “My fear increase.” “Hope say something bad never happen to them,” Abi my guys don finally leave Naija!
A week later after I had started the first semester exam, I had just finished a paper and returned home. I switched on my phone. A text message entered and it read, “Guy if you are still in the house, please leave. They are coming.” It was an unregistered number on my phone. I began wondering “who sent it and the house he/she is talking about.” “ For my own house! Who is coming?” I called the line and it said it was switched off. I just felt the message was sent to a wrong number. I called the number but the line was switched off. I kept on trying the line for couple of hours, yet it wasn’t going through. Na so I forget about am.
Till I finished my first semester exams, I didn’t hear from Abisoko and Uchenna. The day I finished my exams, I made up my mind I was going to travel to Lagos to Abisoko’s place. I felt that would be the right thing for me. I waited till I finished my exams so I could have the time. I had only visited Abisoko’s place in Lagos once, back when we were in 200 level. Abisoko took us (I and Uchenna) there for his father’s birthday party.
A day after my exams, I made arrangements. I didn’t want to call Abisoko’s sister because I had her number. Incase if there was anything, she won’t start suspecting. Make I use my leg go there. As I don prepare finish come go Kuto park make I enter car. I was inside the car with other passengers. The conductor was still screaming “Lagos Eko.” Screaming for more passengers to come. Na so my phone ring. I checked it was an unregistered number which is not in my phone. I picked it and the person at the other end said, “Paddy how far na U.C.” That was U.C (uchenna) voice. “Baba were una dey na, I don dey try your number since.” I said. He asked me where I was, I told him I was in kuto park on my way to Lagos to try locate them. Na so Uchenna laugh. He said it’s a long story and wasn’t what he would tell me on phone, that they (Abisoko and him) are in Owo in Ondo state. And if I can make it, I should come that he would give me the description of where to find them. I asked if all was well, he said all was indeed well. But the from the way he sounded, all wasn’t well at all. I told him I would be on my way to Owo that moment. After the call, I came down and boarded a car going to Sagamu. When I got to Sagamu, I was lucky to find a car along the road going to Benin. Na from there dem drop me for Ore where I took a car going to Owo. When I got to Owo, it was around 5pm in the evening. “Throughout the journey, I was communicating with Uchenna on phone through calls to update him were I was.” Whan I got down from the car in Owo. Na so i carry Okada from where the car drop me come go the junction were Uchenna say make I stay so he go come pick me. I waited for about 20 minutes till a car rode pass me and reversed back. The front screen wined down and sitting on the passenger seat was Abisoko. I didn’t know the driver. I wanted to start hailing him, Abisoko. Na so he say make I hold am till we get home. He opened the owners section of the car and I went in. The car zoomed off. We were inside the car when he (Abisoko) introduced the driver of the car to me. He said his name was Seun. Na the guy (Seun) get the car wey we dey inside. He said that all of them are working together that moment. We chatted as we rode. We got to the place they were staying. It was a story building painted in white, with great outward appearance. As we enter inside the compound na so I see my guy Uchenna dey play snooker with some guys. I came out of the car. Na so my guy come where I dey come huge me. I don miss dem die. The faces of the guys I was seeing inside the compound. Me sef come dey wonder for my mind how my guys (Abisoko and Uchenna) take meet them, get their contacts, meeting the people and got to that place. There were too many people in the compound, both girls and boys, smoking heavily.
As I sat on one of the chairs in the compound, I began asking Uchenna what was happening. Abisoko came to where we were. “Baba come make we go one corner go gist,” Abisoko said. Na so we enter one corner were chair dey. The three of us sat down. I come dey ask them wetin happen wey their line no dey go through. That was where Uchenna began telling me what happened. “He said their last deal i pulled out from, after I said I was going to concentrate on my academics. After pulling down the maga and he finally paid $770,000. They had to use Banker Jide’s account to pull it down. After every processes, with agreements done. Make banker Jide transfer money nah the guy no gree. Na so banker jide disappear ooo. Dem no come see the guy. “So jide don carry money waka”. “Trust G-money nah.” They said G-money no gree and he controlled the deal and transaction. G-money said that anywhere he finds Banker jide, he will kill him. After several days with G-money making contacts with people, they traced Jide to Seme border where he was on his way out of the country.”
As Uchenna was narrating, my head don full. To be sincere, with what they told me, “G-money was a thug.” I never knew that, and infact Abisoko and Uchenna said they never knew G-money could kill. “My guys said they never knew that G-money was well connected.” G-money had to lure Banker jide in a manipulative way and killed him at God knows where. As this guy dey narrate this thing, me sef fear G-money. “I could remember he helped me when one of our house keeper’s died, their family nearly arrested us but just only a call I made to him(G-money), na so him make contacts with well to do police officials wey save me and my mama.” According to my guys, the real deal at that moment was that “after killing banker Jide, they broke his bones and placed them inside a Ghana must go bag and dropped them his street in Ibadan.” Na from there police find out, come dey find them. They said G-money had left Nigeria already.
I told them I tried calling his phone number but it wasn’t going. Them (Abisoko and Uchenna) said they were even preparing to leave the country. But from what they said, they (Uchenna and Abisoko) were not part of the people who killed Jide. Infact they said “when G-money said he would kill the banker anywhere he finds him after taking their money,” they thought he was joking. Not until he(G-money) called to tell them “they should find their levels because the police was looking for them, and that was why and how they changed their mobile numbers.” My guys said in a matter of days, they would be heading to Ghana, from there they would work on their visa to Malaysia. “They had to come down to Owo to hide for the main time because the police were seriously investigating the case.” But within myself I thought that “if my guys had nothing to do with Banker Jide and it was only G-money and his crew killed him, why running nah!” They were questions I asked on my mind.
After their explanation, with everything they had said, I realized it was the reason “Uchenna used his new number to send me a message that if I was at their place, I should leave to avoid being involved in the case.” My heart was beaten fast. I hoped that the police won’t come for me since I was part of the deal from the onset before pulling out. Uchenna said they won’t come for me provided I was not part of them who the police saw jide with before he died. As he said this, na so me look am. So they were with him before he was murdered. That means they were there and part of the murder nah as opposed to what he first told me that it was G-money that killed the late banker. Abisoko said I should calm down for them to explain it well. ‘Explain what!’ I thought to myself. “There were too many loop holes in their story as they narrated”. Too many twists and K-leg for that their story. I didn’t just know what to believe. Everything come tire me. But didn’t just want to say it out, maybe dem fit kill me for their.
After 2 days I spent with my guys in Owo. 2 days of fear because I didn’t know what would become of my life. I was careful due to police and hoping that I won’t do anything bad that would make my guys come for my life. I presume them as killers. I left Owo back to Abeokuta. After returning to Abeokuta, I and my guys chatted on Whatsapp and calls for couple of weeks till one morning I discovered that their line was no longer going. And that was the last time I heard from them.
Few months later, I had just finished defending my project and awaiting my final results for second semester, I was so happy that I had finally left Yahoo yahoo business, but my online businesses had fallen deeply. It wasn’t moving the way it should be. I was only depending on the money I had made from my Yahoo yahoo business earlier. “Thank God for my mother’s business, at least the rents we collect was still doing some major works for us.”
I travelled to Ibadan this beautiful Saturday for an ICT seminar I was involved in. I arrived very late due to the traffic congestion from Ilorin to Ibadan. When I got to the venue of the seminar. The security no gree me enter ooo. They said the door had been shut, no going in. Me sef no gree. “Not after paying N12,000 for the seminar.” After dragging with the security men for some minutes. “What is going on here?” a lady’s voice said from behind. As I turned, it was Adaobi. Immediately she realized it was me, she ran towards and hugged me. “It had been a long time we saw each other after she graduated, and the incident of her friend’s (Nuella) death.” I explained what was going on that I was refused entry into the seminar. She immediately helped out. She asked and begged the security men to allow me in. At first they were being adamant but later allowed me in. I was allowed into the seminar.
After the seminar, I and Adaobi chatted about old times. She said she was just finishing her NYSC some three weeks back in that Oyo state and was a hostess at the seminar. She said it was a friend that connected her to the event organizers. She said she was badly in need of money, that was why she did the job, and she doesn’t want to just go back home like that. Her mom was seriously ill in Lagos. And dem don dey carry her(Adaobi’s mom) up and down but to no avail. She said the doctors said it was fibroid which required a major surgery to be removed. “That same her mama dey get eye problem, she was almost going blind and that one na surgery them need to rectify the thing.” So she just dey hustle to support make her mama no die. Me sef pity her gan. She asked me about my result and I told her that it would be pasted in a matter of days. “I trust you nah, first class na im you dey,” she said referring to my result. “But how I wish she knew that I would be spending an extra year due to my past carry over courses.” “I never told her about. That one na my mind e dey.” Adaobi said she was leaving Oyo state finally the next day back to Lagos. Make she go start to find work. We exchanged phone numbers and I left.
Three days later I called Adaobi to inquire about the wellbeing of her mom. The way she sounded on phone, her voice showed that it was getting worse. I told her to give me the address to her place in which she willingly gave to me, and directions how to get to their street. She said if I was coming, when I get to her street, I should call her so she could come pick me. I told her that anytime I want to come I will call her. As I was dropping the call with Adaobi, a departmental mate called to say that our second semester result had been pasted and I was having an extra year with just four 200level courses as carry over. 2 first semester and 2 second semester. Na so I tell him say I don already know. I had already known because I passed all the courses I registered for that session. The four courses I was carrying, the units were more than the required courses to register so I had to drop them. I didn’t register them.
Two days later as early as 6am, I called Adaobi that I would be coming to their place that day. With the direction she gave to me, na so I enter road to Lagos. According to Adaobi, she said they stay in Ajah. I reach Oshodi for Lagos. I saw an empty taxi which I called. We negotiated and he took only me to Ajah where I stopped, called Adaobi again as I waited. I had already called her when I just got down in Lagos that I was on the way. Barely 5 minutes I stopped at the junction, Adaobi arrived on foot. The car that brought me was yet to leave. I had to negotiate with the driver again. I and Adaobi entered and he took us to their place. When we got to her place I met her mom sitting on a chair at the veranda. I guess she was taking the morning breeze. She really looked ill from the outward appearance. She doesn’t see clearly with her eyes according to Adaobi. I greeted her and she warmly answered. Adaobi was telling me that her mom was answering me warmly, but when she would be in pains, goshhhh... The whole house will be turned upside down. I got to meet Adaobi’s two junior sisters. One of them was in Yabatech and the other a Jambite. He said her brothers were out of town for work. We talked, laughed and joked. The whole place was bubbling. I spent about 5 hours with them before telling them I was leaving. So as Adaobi and her sister in Yaba were seeing me off, I asked Adaobi the amount needed for the whole surgery, both her mother’s eyes and fibroid. She said it was N175,000. To me it was small money but to them, itwas huge amount. “In as much that I had little in my account, I was willing to support.” I asked Adaobi that if I provide the money, would it be enough? She laughed as if I was joking and making jest of her. I told her I wasn’t joking, and I was willing to do it. She was looking at me when she saw the look on my face and countenance, showing I was serious. I told her to give me her account number, and she did. She almost started shedding tears, thanking me. “Adaobi had always been a sweet heart. I remembered when I just got admitted to FUNAAB, she would give me food, pay my transport fare to school and back. I felt I was capable of doing something so I did it.” After everything, I went back to Abeokuta.
The next day I paid N180,000 into Adaobi’s account. She called to thank me so well. Na so all her brothers and sisters come call dey thank me for the money. Adaobi continually updated me on how far they went on the surgery till one Friday that I called her phone number after the surgeries her mom underwent. I tried calling her to know if her mom had fully recovered and her number was not going through. She was the only person I had her phone number in their family. For days and weeks I kept on trying but still her phone number wasn’t going through. Na so fear begin catch me ooo. “Abi something don happen to them?” I thought to myself. I took it upon myself to find out if he and her family were really okay.
I travelled to Adaobi’s place in Lagos. It was the house she brought me to when I first came visiting. When I got there, I met an old woman who told me that Adaobi and her family had packed out of the place. I was very confused when the woman was telling me that. “No be the person wey talk say dem no get money to treat her mama na im come get money to pack out. Abi the old woman dey whine me!” But she can’t be lying because when I got to the flat, it was empty and “flat to rent” sign post was at the door. I even saw a similar sign post at the compound gate. “Have I been scammed?
>


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Organization



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The doctor arrived around 11.00am that morning. I had
waited for more than four hours before he arrived and
walked past us into his office. Surprisingly, he was a male. I
had expected the department to be an all-women-
department but it wasn’t and I felt a little uncomfortable.
Mirabel didn’t come with me to the hospital cos I didn’t want
her to know the outcome of my diagnosis even though that
wasn’t what I told her. I had told her that she shouldn’t
stress herself that I would be fine and she agreed. I sat
patiently and waited for my turn to come. One after the
other, the female patients – pregnant and non- pregnant –
filed in to see the doctor. It soon got to my turn and I went
in to see the doctor as well. The consulting room was well
arranged and air- conditioned. The doctor sat in such a way
that he saw the patients walk in. “Goodmorning doc,” I
greeted. “Goodmorning,” he replied with a captivating smile.
“Please sit down.” The way the doctor welcomed me calmed
my fears and subconsciously endeared me to him. “So what
made you come to see us?” The doctor asked after I was
comfortably seated. “I’m having this severe itch in my
private part,” I began and narrated all my symptoms to him
as he carefully put them down in my folder. After that he
asked me so many other questions in regard to the
symptom. Then the part of the physical examination came.
“I would like to see what’s going on down there,” the doctor
said motioning me to pull off my clothes from waist down
and mount the examination couch. I felt shy and reluctantly
did as the doctor directed. The examination didn’t last more
than five minutes and I came down and wore back my
clothes. “You have gonorrhoea and genital warts,” he
announced as soon as I sat down after wearing my clothes.
“I will write some drugs for you which you are to buy from
the pharmacy outside.” “No problem doctor,” I replied. The
doctor wrote the drugs on a prescription paper and handed
it to me. “Thank you doctor,” I greeted and left. I bought the
drugs on my way out and headed back to my lodge. “What
did the doctor say?” Mirabel asked when she came to check
on me later in the evening. “He said that I have infection,” I
replied. “What type of infection?” She asked narrowing her
gaze. “Toilet infection.” “Ok no problem,” she said. “Did he
give you any drug?” “Yes he did o, they are in those
polythene over there.” “Ok nice,” she commented. “Make
sure you take them at the right time.” “I will,” I promised.
“Thanks for your care and concern.” “You’re welcome.” With
that she went back to her room. I took the doctor’s drugs
consistently as the doctor prescribed but there was no
improvement. Instead the symptoms increased and the itch
grew worse. I also developed foul smelling sores around my
genitals as I scratched to no avail. So I decided to see the
doctor again…

Do you pity her?

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